Ray Of Hope

I had the worst nightmare, it was...it was...it was nothing but feelings. Ok I know your like 'What the hell is he talking about'. But I'm serious. I didn't see anything, I just felt things. I felt this pain, this unbearable, bone crushing, heart shattering, I cant breathe kind of pain. And then I felt Sephlous weirdly enough, and he didn't make the pain go away but he made it easier to bare. I woke what I assume to be an hour or two later. The clock showed it was 4:30. I laid in that bed not moving for a long time. Tired but too scared to go back to sleep. I thought about last night and the nightmare and I knew what it was. It was just what Seron said would happen. My full powers would return and the thoughts and lives of my parents would come to me. I was...I am...everything just felt different, but yet the same.

Ya know I thought that after last night I would be this totally different person. That I'd think different and act different. My outlook would have changed. But I still feel like me, the same spaz. Just with a few altercations. I look down at myself and I haven't gained any weight but I feel so strong as if I could pick the world up itself and carry it. And though I don't feel any smarter, I do feel wiser. Smarter? Wiser? What the hell is the difference? Well I'm still slow as molasses in the height of winter but I know a lot of the past, the good and the bad. Has my outlook changed? Yes and no. Yeah I'm still scared as hell of the future and my part to play in it, but yet I'm not as scared as I use to be. I'm not walking around with blindfolds anymore and let me tell you! Its good to finally see.

"Thoughts travel through your mind at such a speed. Yet I cant hear them. I quite miss your thoughts" Seph said from the shadows. No surprise to me because he's always in the shadows, never too far from me and...I...I sensed him. I felt him, weird. I'm sounding way to much like a new age hippie now, going around talking about auras. Interesting eh? Guess all bullshit has a silver lining.

"Its good to have them back to myself" I said.

"Get some rest, you look tired." He said and all I could do was smile over at him. Though I felt stronger, I was still a little weak from my nightmare. I looked over at him and raised my hands in the air, beckoning him to give me a hug. I just mustered up my cutest puppy dog face and hoped that he would not look the other way.

He walked slowly over to me and hesitantly leaned over to give me a hug. He went to pull back, but I wasn't quite ready to let him go. So I tightened my grip a little. He struggled and with a great force he tried to pull himself away, but I held on. I figured its hard to run away when you cant. To the observer the deadly silence of the room would be weird but it was like we were having our own little conversation without using words. He would push away 'let me go', and I would pull him back and kiss him on the cheek or forehead 'no'. He tried and tried and tried but finally gave up.

"Ok you can have it your way." He said, and I knew that he didn't really put up a fight, he just wanted it to look like he did, because he's not one to just give up. He just laid down and pulled me partially on top of him. One hand going under his head and the other idly sliding thru my hair or over my neck. I laid on his chest and let his heart beat and his lazy hand rock me back to sleep.

I woke to Seph gently nudging me. It felt as if I just closed my eyes.

"Huh" I mumbled into his chest.

"Time for breakfast Tristan." I slowly got up and as normal I was hit with the mornings chill. I half walked half slept to the bathroom. Its still amazing that I actually got everything done while being halfway asleep. I returned back into the room naked, not really caring what Seph thought about it. While I was in the bathroom the extra effort of wrapping a towel around my waist seemed too strenuous. I was quickly awaken though by a stunned family. Rhond, Seron, Rohan, Sondren were standing there. Oh and the asshole Melisd was there as well. I turned red and unfortunately they got to see how far the blush spread. I looked in the shadows to see Seph laughing hysterically.

"Aou yre nucking futs." I said as I went thru my dresser and grabbed a pair of dark green leather pants and hastily put it on.

"Come again" Seron said smirking at me.

"Its human code talk, ya know. I said 'you are fucking nuts'" I said as I was putting on a matching knit sweater.

"So should I give you 5 dollars for the show or are you giving us a sneak peak of the main show" Rohan said as he pulled me into a hug.

"A sneak peak. The main show is rated YFC"

"YFC" Rohan said as his eyebrow shot up.

"Your fucking crazy" I smiled at him. He was still holding me and he was staring at me. Poking and prodding at my arms and chest, probably trying to see if I bulked up at all. I think they all thought I would be muscle man by this morning.

"What you looking for, my G spot? It's a little lower." I said.

"I always have a hard time finding it, you can ask my ex lover. When she broke up with me she mentioned I wouldn't know where her G spot was even if she tattooed a large bright red sign that read right here" He said nonchalantly as his hands fell down lower, by my belly button.

"She never lied a day in her entire life. You still got some ways down, lower." I said as I looked at all the shocked faces of every one. Melisd's mouth was literally hanging open. I looked at Rohan whose hands were traveling slowly down. He and I looked at each other and broke out laughing. Every one just stared at us like we were crazy. Rohan just shrugged and said "Our warped sense of humor"

"So your ex girlfriend said all of that huh" I said as Rohan and I walked past every one outside of my apartment.

"Yeah, not so nicely either." We continued the conversation all 30 stairways down. We sat down at the table in our normal seat and started eating. The group finally reached downstairs.

I sat down and enjoyed eating. I was in such a mad dash to leave the table for the whole 2 weeks that I never did get a chance to enjoy my food. I sensed that all eyes were on me. Every one wanting to ask me the same question, all except Seph. Which I thought was weird, why wouldn't he want to know? But I did realize something about Seph, he secretly stared at me a lot during the day.

"Yes" was my simple reply to everyone's unasked question. Seron, Rhond and Seph all caught what I meant, but the boys didn't.

"What?" Melisd asked. I just gave him a withering stare, mad that he had the nerve to even talk to me. Out of no where he was screaming bloody murder and tears were falling down his eyes. I looked at Seron and as soon as I did his screams stopped.

"You need to be more cautious of what you wish on others. Your powers are strong and if its something small like twisting 'something'. Unlike most, you don't need to chant a spell for the small shit. For you just have to think it and it happens" Seron said as he tried to hide the amused smile spreading on his face.

"Ingenious, Good work, I think he deserves more." Rohan said as he smirked at Melisd. He nudged my shoulder to indicate his brother Sondren as well. Who got a scared look on his face.

"So your no longer stuck to the confines of your room. What do you want to do?" Seph said, his eyes never left me since we sat down at the table.

"Well this is beautiful place and I've only been to the waterfall and the mall. So I guess I'm up for a bit of exploring." I said as I stared into his eyes, they just emanated passion.

"Sounds like a plan. Rohan your coming along?" Seph asked.

"Yeah, I cant leave him alone with you. I don't give you guys more then an hour alone before both of you are lip locking."

"Rohan!" Seron, Rhond and myself said simultaneously. Most naturally, I was blushing and so was Seph, but since I was so fair it showed more. I heard Rohan mumble " You know how far that blush travels" which just got every one laughing but me. I just sat there turning redder and redder. I just crossed my arms and pouted. Rohan threw his heavy arm around me. "Hey, would I be a good friend if I didn't call you out every now and then."

"Yeah you would be the best friend if you never called me out. You need to go to friend school, Seron could teach you a few things." I said still in full pout.

"Yeah how do you think I earned the much acclaimed title of best friend! By not telling people about that time when he fell and his face landed right in the crouch of this boy he had the hots for." This set off a new round of laughter.

"So the guy can actually say to his girlfriend that you just tripped and fell onto his dick. Brilliant!" Rhond said between laughter. I just sat there and let every one laugh at me. They went from one to another. If they cant read my mind, their just gonna find another way to embarrass me. The way they were laughing they looked like they wouldn't stop. I got up and went up to my room. I doubt they noticed between bringing up more and more things to rag on me about and laughing, they wouldn't miss me.

I laid down on the bed and I saw the sweater Seph had on earlier. I brought it up to my nose and inhaled his aroma. He always smelled of mint and wild flowers.

"So ya like him? Or love him?" Melisd sais as he walked in and took a seat at the end of my bed. I gave him a what-the-fuck-do-you-want stare.

"I've been an ass and I know I was wrong. We did bet, not because we wanted to directly hurt you, we more so wanted to hurt him. And I did like you, I do like you. It was locker room talk ya know. When your just saying shit to say shit. Trying to paint that Don Juan portrait. And I know I truly mucked up my chances, but I at least want to be friends" he said as he turned and looked at me.

"I know this might be a lot to ask of you, for you to give me a chance, just to be your friend. But as a friend I just want to let you know that your heart in Seph's hands is not a desirable thing, because he'll crush it. You once asked what's the problem with Seph and Sondren. Well they were once an item. Seph is not big on love, he actually stays as far away from it as he can. He pretty much shitted on Sondren. He'd fuck his friends, he'd verbally thrash him, he'd do shit just so...just to make him cry. So when Sondren left town for a little while and when he came back..." Melisd continued as he got up.

"He came back with vengeance. You take that ride, you let him get to you. Then expect for the inevitable, to fall off." Melisd said over his shoulder as he left.

"Interesting" I said as I sat down and thought about it and I came to the conclusion that Seph and Sondren probably did hook up physically and Seph probably took it as just a good time or something and Sondren didn't and is now on the warpath because his I-get-everything-I-want-ass couldn't get Seph.

"They lied and tricked me once, that was their fault. They lie and trick me twice, then that's my fault" I said out loud just for the sake of hearing myself talk. I just put all that Melisd said on the back burner and I went back to inhaling Seph.

"Bullshit, if you asked me." Seron said as he walked out of a shadow by the farthest corner from the door. I was perplexed. I looked from the door to him and couldn't figure out a answer.

"How...what...you...downstairs...door...how...we need to get some real fucking light, something more then these blasted candles." I said frustrated.

"I saw when you left for the staircase, I took a secret way up here and made it before you with time to spare." He said as he walked over to me. I looked down at the sweater I still had crushed to my chest, my arms wrapped around it and I felt quite foolish. It must be a trend because this was like, what the 10 millionth time I blushed today.

Seph straddled my waist and pushed me down on the bed, scooting us a little bit down so that my head wouldn't hit the headboard. He crushed his lips into mine and snaked his tongue inside my mouth. Seph didn't waste anytime, he had a main goal and he was heading full force to it. As he grinded into my body I felt his lips roughly push against my mouth as he ripped my pants off with a violent tug, I didn't care at all. My only reply was to kiss back just as passionate.

I felt the object of my affection pressed hard into my now naked crotch. His leather pants and my precum made it easier for him to slide and grind. His movement was so slow, yet powerful and steady.

Torture was his game and he played it well. Every pleasure was accompanied by pain. His tongue would lick at my sensitive ear, but his hands would be twisting my nipples hard. He would kiss my now red nipples, undoing his damage but his nails would be sinking into my skin. His lips kissing my bruises but his hands running and pulling through my hair. It was a weird combination it made you want more and less at the same time.

"I'm not into pain." I barely got out as his hand was running in between my ass.

"Too bad" he said as he licked at the inside my ear. He forcefully grabbed my hands and held them above my head. His mouth latched on to my bottom lip and tugged at it.

He held my two hands with only one of his and his other was traveling slowly along my smooth chest, his tongue following the path laid out. His wet mouth came in contact with my nipple and I couldn't help but moan out. His tongue flicking it, his eye trained on me. His teeth running roughly across it.

I pulled my hands out of his loose hold and pulled him up to me and kissed him as hard as I could. His hands ravaging my body, wanting to explore every inch and every crevice which made my legs spread involuntarily further apart, just to give him better access. His torture was less pain now and more teasing. He rubbed his smooth face against my inner thigh blowing warm air along the way. His teeth would scrape softly against my sensitive thigh. His hands playing idly in my patch of hair.

His tongue snaked out of his mouth and he licked at the area right above my rosebud. His tongue would purposely drop down low or high and then quickly get back to in between. His tongue found its destination, upward. Only the very point of his tongue slid slowly up the underside of my affection. His lips leaving feather soft kisses at the head. His breathe beating down on me, but he would never take me in his mouth. His hands had found its way downward. His fingers slick with my precum would start to slide in halfway, but he would pull back.

"Leave me, take me, do whatever you want. Just...mmm...just not this" I got out through my ragged breathing.

He abruptly stopped and I closed my eyes berating myself for saying that. I didn't actually think he would leave, and I was right because I felt two lips crush against my asshole, a soft wet tongue worked its way into me. Pushing itself deep inside of me while his hands were wrapped around my waist pulling me further down on the bed into his face, his tongue sliding in deeper, swirling inside of me. His tongue stayed stiff and was in never ending contact with my prostate.

I would love to say that I lasted more then 30 minutes, I know you guys are looking at me and shaking your head in utter disappointment, but think back to your first time, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

When my breathing finally came to normal and my euphoric state had been taken down a notch I opened my eyes to look at Seph and that euphoric state that I still had a little of disappeared. He looked disgusted. I looked up at him and I had to take two deep breaths so that my eyes didn't start to leak.

"Don't tell me this was your first." He stared intensely up at me and the look on my face gave him his answer. He pulled back and laid down beside me. The look of disgust and regret still prominent on his face. I noticed he made sure that he was as far as possible away from me as he could be without falling off the bed. I couldn't help but think about what Melisd said. The silence and tension was absolute torture.