..Well, when I did what I did.
No need to go thinking about that now. What's done is done.
I had to lay there for another few minutes, my body's soreness overwhelming me until I just didn't want to move any more. I certainly hope this part of it isn't 'typical' for werewolves. Then again, having your entire body ripped apart to transform into something twice its size, and then having to change it back again, WOULD be quite a strain. On anybody. Funny thing is, even though I was perfectly calm at that particular moment...I could still 'feel' it...lurking inside me. That big ball of rage and fury, a level of seductive power that I could never have dreamed of before...I could still feel it resting peacefully in the very center of me. An animal. A beast that didn't ask questions and had no need for answers. A monster capable of destroying every obstacle that dared to stand between me and anything that I wanted. ANYTHING. And the more pride and ego I fed that monster...the stronger it got. And the more it had to feed my pride and ego. The circle was endless, and I felt smile cross my lips as I realized that I never wanted it to stop.
I rolled forward slightly, enjoying the cool sheets of the bed around me, and stretched my arms out in front of me with a yawn. And it was then that I noticed...that Dex was gone.
I opened my eyes wide, and felt around...he wasn't in front of me. Shit! I lost him! I fucking LOST him! Where is he? What is he getting himself into??? Cyrus is gonna KILL me!!!
And then...much to my relief, I felt the soft touch of Dexter's thin arm as it slid around my waist from behind. Thank GOD! I thought he had gotten away from me while I was sleeping. I relaxed again, laying my head back down on the pillow, and caressed Dexter's arm as it gave me a tender squeeze. He had the most amazing dusting of fine silky blond hairs on his arm. You couldn't even see them until the sunlight reflected off of them. They were was delicate to the touch as the strands of a spider web, and having them against my naked side was as erotic a touch as any other.
I felt the soft puffs of his breath on the back of my neck as he scooted up closer, and then took a big sniff at my, apparently pleasant, fragrance. Then I felt him lick my shoulder once or twice as I giggled a bit from the ticklish sensation. "Morning, Dex." I smiled.
"Morning, Goo Goo." He said, his voice resembling the boyish little angel that I had fallen so in love with before. God knows what I would have woken up to if I had forced him down into that basement.
I rolled over to face him, staring into those giant fawn-like baby brown eyes...and I lightly tangled my fingers in his blond curls as he looked back at me. Almost with a subtle look of confusion. I honestly don't think the others shared this level of affection with him. If they did, it probably hasn't been for a long time. He seemed almost hypnotized by the intimacy of me just looking into his eyes, and then he quickly jerked forward and licked me across the lips. "Blah!!! Dex!" I laughed, and he wrinkled up his forehead like he didn't know what he had done wrong. But when I gave those sweet pink lips of his a kiss, he smiled back at me, and happily gave me a hug around the neck.
Then came the calling. A tug at my senses, and at his. We needed no further instruction, and instinctively parted from one another. Cyrus wanted us downstairs for morning union. There were no questions to be asked. I saw Dex stand up from the covers, his body was so unbelievably cute. Everything in perfect proportion, with only small tufts of hair where nature seemingly 'forced' it upon him. Ad a pretty delicious looking 'dangle', if I do say so myself. The same honey tanned color as his thighs, with a slightly pink blush to the sack underneath it. He reached for his clothes, which were scattered on the bedroom floor, and I took the time to notice his spongy soft cheeks as he bent over. A sweet little heart shaped bottom that stuck out with a playful little 'pout' from the bottom of his spine So soft and smooth that it looked like the warm globes would melt between your fingertips if you touched it. I was drawn to him, and without saying a word, I walked over and gently rubbed the palm of my hand across the pristine surface of his skin. Dex stood up and turned into my embrace, giving both of my hands access, squeezing and kneading the orbs as our lips connected in a slow but passionate tongue kiss.
He was really 'mine' for the taking. He didn't protest at all. I didn't even have to ask. Whenever I felt the need to satisfy my sexual urges...all I had to do was choose. Dex, Sebastian, Kriegar, John Boy...any of them And there was something so lustfully tempting, so morally insane, about it...that it seemed to increase my pleasure ten fold. I moaned softly as I squeezed Dexter's ass even harder, nearly lifting the slim boy up to his tiptoes, and he rolled himself slowly into my arms. Fitting his sleek body against mine, leaving as little space in between as possible.
But the calling got stronger, bringing with it a warning of the consequences for being late. So I gave Dex's right ass cheek a little pat, and we broke our kiss. I saw his stiff little stick poking straight up and out from his body as he moved back from me, and I reached out to gently 'pluck' it with a finger...watching it spring back and bounce for a moment or two. It made him smile, and we soon turned to get dressed so that we could join the others downstairs.
I looked in the boy's bedroom closet once again. Jonah...the one who lived here before me. There wasn't much left in there that I could wear. A few of his shirts didn't fit me, or were a bit too tight for my tastes. Really tight, retro, Indie-rock stuff. And the others...well, I kinda ripped them to shreds the last few times I had a transformation. I finally came across something that fit, albeit a bit awkward. And I looked up to see Dexter, fully dressed and waiting patiently by the door. I know that Cyrus as calling to us, I could feel it. I expected him to already be downstairs.
I walked towards him, and he lowered his head slightly as I passed. It was the strangest feeling in the world. He simply refused to move until I moved first, and then he was quick to follow. He must really NOT be used to affection.
We met Sebastian as he was coming out of his room. He was pulling a shirt over his head, letting it slide down his smooth chest as I watched his dark brown locks glide right back into perfection in front of my very eyes It was so hard to not be completely stunned by him every time you laid eyes on him. Just looking at his lips alone was making me nervous. Sebastian flashed me a smile, seeing the sexual worship of him reflected in my eyes, and he stepped forward to kiss me tenderly on the lips before going downstairs. I had almost forgotten how 'open' everything was here. You want something, you need only express an interest. And as long as it didn't belong to Cyrus at that particular moment...you could have it. Any thing, or any one, at any time. How long will it take for me to get used to something so indulgent?
The others were already milling around in the kitchen with the exception of Scout, who came in a few minutes later, rubbing his eyes sleepily with both fists. His hair standing up like he had been struck by lightning. Dex and I sat down at the same time, and I saw the twins look over at us with a wicked smile. Shank whispered something to his brother, and they shared a laugh, I'm sure, a my expense. Not that it mattered.
"Good morning, killer!" Kriegar said loudly, patting me hard on the shoulders from behind and kissing the top of my head. "I take it you two slept well?"
"Um...yeah. It was fine." I said, and I watched as Cyrus sat down at the head of our table. Causing everyone else to immediately fall into place.
He gazed at me, and with a smirk, he asked, "I take it that there were no..'accidents' then?"
I heard Kristin giggle a bit more, and wondered what the hell it was that they knew that I didn't. "No. No accidents." I said. "It was fine."
"Good. Very good." Cyrus said, and then turned his palms up on the table, everyone else joining in for union.
The energy transfer was instantaneous this time. Stronger. All of our thoughts seemed to balance out as the calling swept through us. Uniting us. Combining the best and worst parts of us to exist as a single unit. A pack with a defined purpose. It was more than a family connection. It was an extension of self. And led by a powerful entity that was better than all of us. The feeling is electrifying.
And yet...still that urge to always want more. Just a little bit more. Not a lot. I could practically taste the rush of it on the tip of my tongue, and a big part of me wanted to absorb as much of it as I could. Greedily hording it for myself before allowing anyone else at that table to pick away at my scraps. But I held myself back. Instead, I simply tried to satisfy myself with my 'share' of the wealth, and left it at that.
When union was over, everyone got up from the table except for me, Dex, and Cyrus. He kept watching me with such fascination. As though I was somehow blossoming into something more amazing than what he was hoping for. Then, Kriegar slammed down a plate in front of me, and then slung a big handful of raw meat down on top of it with his bare hand. "Bon a petit, kid"
"Um....do you think we can cook this? Just a little?" I asked, and Kriegar, being a wise ass, took the empty Styrofoam tray and tilted it to pour more of the blood and juices over the top of the cold lump of ground beef.
"You're a wolf now, Wes. Act like one." He said, and left me to my...um..breakfast.
Cyrus nodded in my direction. "Go on. Try it. I guarantee you, in a week you won't be able to get enough of it. Hell, if anything, we'll have to stop you from hunting for something a bit more...'alive'." Dex reached over to take a small pinch of meat from my plate and he put it in his mouth. I couldn't help but frown up a bit, as the very idea of eating raw hamburger meat made me gag. But Dex just sat there and chewed happily at it as though it tasted like popcorn. He even reached for more. After a few more minutes of hesitation, Cyrus looked over at my companion and gave him a warm smile. "Dex...why don't you give Wesley and I some room to talk? Ok?" Dex looked back at me, and I was lost as to why until I realized that he was waiting for my 'signal'. I wasn't quite sure if this was...going against Father's command or not, but...I gave him the nod, and he stood up from the table. As he walked past, Cyrus patted his own cheek with two fingers, and Dexter leaned over to give him a gentle kiss. Then he turned back to me, and his penetrating stare caused me to almost squirm in my seat.
The silence, however short, was killing me. And started to speak. "I'm sorry, Father...I meant no disrespect..."
"I know you didn't, Wesley. Believe me...I'll let you know when you disrespect me." It was a comment that was delivered with such a menacing smile. You could feel the threat behind it, even though his boyish good looks worked hard to mask them from me. "You've done well looking after Dex. Perhaps I'll put you in charge of keeping an eye on him more often." He said, but then he added, "But make no mistake, Wes...you can't tame him. Don't even try. Out of ALL the people in this house, he is the LAST one you should ever try to keep from being wild. Trust me on this. You're asking for trouble."
I looked through the open doorway, and saw Dexter sitting on the couch in the living room just as sweetly and as innocently as he could. The bladed cross that he kept around his wrist was out between his fingertips, and he was using it to dig a small hole in the couch cushion. Mischievous, yes...but hardly malicious. "He's ok, Cyrus. I think he just needs a little bit of attention, that's all. He's been better this morning than he has been all week."
Cyrus chuckled to himself. "I suggest you don't take this small relapse as a cure for what ails him. If anything, it's a sign that you should begin distancing yourself from a potential problem before it's too late."
"He's being...you know...cool. Really. I can look after him if you want." I said, feeling a certain infatuation with him after waking up beside him this morning.
But as Cyrus leaned forward, he lowered his voice and told me, "It's not you looking after him that worries me, Wes. It's when he starts looking after you that things go wrong." I looked back through the door, and Dex's eyes met mine for a brief moment. There was no emotion in them. None. He simply returned my blank stare and waited for me to turn away. "Believe me boy, Dex does love his attachments. And he doesn't share We've buried MANY bodies in these woods due to his infatuations. MANY. And it wasn't easy finding all the pieces either." Cyrus whispered, "Dex tends to 'scatter' when he feeds. Never a pretty sight."
"You have to better learn the inner workings of the pack, Wesley. You have to familiarize yourself with how each one operates, both as an individual and as a part of the whole. Study, examine, remember." He stood up from the table, signaling me to do the same. "Take my advice. Ok? I love Dex, as I do all of my children. We need him, and we will do whatever it takes to keep him safe. But...if it seems that we distance ourselves from his affections...we do so for good reason. Do you understand?" I nodded silently. "Good. Now, sit back down and eat your meat. We're going into town and I don't want you hungry. It makes you cranky." He pushed me back down and pulled my plate closer to me. "Make sure he eats every bite." Cyrus said, and I saw John Boy sit across the table from me to 'watch'.
He gave me a boyish grin, and I sighed out loud as I looked at the lump of meat. "Go on...it's not so bad. Really." John Boy said. "The idea of it being 'nasty' is more of a mentality than an actual taste. Remember, your tastes are going to change very rapidly from one day to the next. And whether or not you like the taste of raw meat, you're going to have to get used to it."
"Why? You guys having trouble getting the pizza delivery guy to come way out here?" I asked, trying to pinch off a little piece of meat, but dropping it back down to the plate once I felt it squish in my fingers.
"Well, you may not realize it, but your body is going to start burning up calories at a rate that you might not be able to keep up with. You're going to want to eat more and more...and your body is just going to keep breaking that food down as fast as you shove it in you mouth. A transformation like the ones you've gone through take a LOT of energy to pull off, Wesley. It would be best if you kept your tank full during such times."
"Or else what?" I frowned.
"Or else you'll liable to chew up anything and everything around you without thinking." He said. "The less you feed, the more savage the beast. You don't want something like that getting out of control, now do you?"
"No. I guess not."
"Then be a good dog...and eat your meat." He smiled.
It took a mile of guts for me to actually take that first bite. It was clear that I wasn't going anywhere until I cleaned that plate...so I decided to try. The icy feel of it in my fingertips felt so gross. But, after staring at it for a few moments of sickening hesitation...I closed my eyes, and put the first small handful of ground beef in my mouth. UGH! I wanted to spit it out from the texture of it alone! But, much to my surprise...they were right. It wasn't half as bad as I was expecting it to be. Or maybe...maybe it just tasted different because of this new...infection of mine. I chewed it a few times, and finally stopped holding my breath. I opened my eyes, and allowed the ball of meat go down easy. The strange thing is, I felt myself get even hungrier as I ate it. I took another handful, and chewed that up twice as fast. Then another, and another. I began ravaging everything on my plate, sopping up the watered down blood and juices with the remaining clumps of meat. It was...it was actually GOOD! And unless it was just my imagination...I think I heard myself growl involuntarily as I devoured the last few pieces with a fury. I chewed the piece as hard as my teeth would allow, and I didn't realize that my teeth had somehow turned into FANGS until I accidentally bit the side of my cheek and yelped out like a coyote in a bear trap.
"Careful, Wesley. Slow down. You're always so eager." John Boy said, and I felt my mouth fill with blood as the pain of it kicked in. It literally brought tears to my eyes as I held the side of my face in agony..but thankfully, the fever returned to me to begin the healing process instantaneously. It stung a little at first, feeling the flesh of my inner cheek knitting itself back together, the burn of it almost as painful as the initial bite. But in a matte of a minute or two, it was gone. Like it had never happened. And I went back to chewing normally. "There you go. Much better." John Boy grinned. "Even your healing process needs fuel, Wesley. You have to learn to acquire the fuel you need, and then learn how to conserve it to the best of your ability. Balance is the key. You understand?"
"Mmm-hmm..." I said, and wiped my lips clean of a few dribbled juices.
"Good." John Boy gently slid my plate away from me, as he sensed that it was all gone. Then he stood up and put it in the sink. I was always so impressed at his skills. He never had to fumble or reach out for anything. He could maneuver around this house better than I could. I was still bumping my leg on the edge of the couch when I walked by it. "Cyrus has great plans for you. You know that?" He asked.
"Yes. We may still acquire one or two more...but you, my boy, are the winning lottery ticket." John Boy walked up behind my chair, and draped his arms over me, resting his chin on my shoulder. "Despite Sebastian's doubts and Kristin's best instincts...you have proven yourself to be of a very special breed indeed. One that is going to ultimately take us to the next level. And that makes Father very happy." He kissed my cheek and stood up again. "I believe Cyrus is looking forward to showing you off to the others tonight. Knowing him, he can't wait to let them see what he has accomplished with you already."
"There...there are OTHERS....?" I said softly, but John Boy had already left the kitchen. Others? WHAT others?
I got up and walked into the living room to join the others, who were already getting fired up to go out again. How did they manage that? How is it that they keep themselves function when they have so many...murderous problems? Maybe I haven't given myself over enough to understand, but I definitely would love to figure it out someday. "Just the man, I want to see." Cyrus called out. "We need to buy our pup here some new clothes. Kriegar?"
"I got about a bill and a half from last night's 'poker game', hehehe!" Kriegar giggled, and the others chimed in with a few playful hoots and hollers of their own. "We won big...they LOST big. And the wheels on the bus go round and round." Kriegar took the money out and waved it around as the others laughed. I couldn't believe that I smiled at that. But as I said before...everything felt like it wasn't real. As though it was just some weird game for us to play, with no rules and no consequences if we lost. You'd be surprised how easily you can brush your own evil deeds off of your shoulder once they've already been committed.
"In that case, let's get everybody on the truck and get this boy some clothes." Cyrus grinned, then whispering, "Not that I wouldn't mind keeping you naked all day, pretty boy."
. Everyone cheerfully grabbed something to 'drink' on the way, climbed on the back of the truck, and started off with more loud music as Cyrus started it up. Shank and Razor were both smiling wickedly in my direction, and Razor said, "Father is taking us out to party tonight. He wants you to be presentable."
Shank quietly added, "I think you'll like it."
"A party? What kind of party?" I asked, and they merely grinned at each other, answering...
John Boy told me, "Let's just say that it's a bit of a celebration To commemorate your willingness to join the rest of us. And to announce your arrival."
"My...my arrival?" I asked, but was cut short as Kriegar threw me a small bottle of whiskey. He always seemed to have an endless supply of shit to THROW at me and nearly hit me in the face with.
"Be proud, kid!" Kriegar said. "You keep doing what you're doing...and we'll be marking all new territory soon! SO get ready to piss on the competition!" Then he took a big gulp of his liquor, tilted his head back, and howled playfully at the sky. I snickered a bit myself, and took a few sips of my own. Now adopting Kriegar's habit of throwing the cap over the side. God...I have fallen soooo far from the path I used to be on. I wish I felt as terrible about it as I should.
The truck carried us down the old roads at top speed, and Dex curled up lovingly at my side, sharing sips from the same bottle with me. The others seemed to be having an incredible time, laughing and joking around with a whole new level of energy. And, believe it or not, I felt like I had something to do with it. The new 'energy', that is. I could feel it electrifying me from head to toe, pulsing with every bone rattling beat of the music! It's like...it was coming from me...and the others were feeding off of it. My thoughts were confirmed when Kriegar got a shiver, and shouted out, "Whoooo! GodDAMN, this boy feels GOOD!!!" And John Boy gave me one of his fascinated smiles, looking upon me with such appreciation. Even the twins seemed to chime in with cheers of their own. It was ME. It was MY energy that was providing them this rush, and we were all stronger for it. When I closed my eyes for a moment and just let my emotions dip into the pool of almost limitless power flowing through me...I became nearly dizzy from the seductive sensation. It was almost like being lost in an endless freefall, and my skin prickled up with goose bumps as the glory of shameless desire and unrestricted pleasure rushed in to claim all of my senses at once. I drank it in like a thick sweetened nectar, and savored the thrill of becoming truly 'wicked'...inside and out.
My further submission to the calling seemed to shoot through all of the others at once, who responded with shouts that sounded like the roars of amusement park patrons taking that first dip on a rollercoaster. I even felt the truck swerve violently to the left for a moment as it struck Cyrus like a bolt of lightning, and the rest of us up front giggled happily with the rest of us. It was almost as if I could control it. Dish out little bits of energy here and there as I saw fit. Or spin it around to divide it up between all of us equally. And whenever I sent a little 'push' Cyrus' way...he would send a little 'push' back, creating an even bigger thrill for us both. We shared the duty of keeping the energy moving...and it was becoming increasingly easy by the minute.
When I opened my eyes again, it was like the whole world was spinning out of control, and chaos never felt so natural.
We kept going to a different small county altogether this time around. Which I guess would be necessary for us. With the kind of disturbance we create everywhere we went, we didn't want to become too familiar in any one part of any one town. Luckily for us, this whole area was basically a bunch of small towns clustered together. So what we didn't get from one place...we could always get from another. Hehehe, and insult and offend a whole new group of people. How awesome is that?
Funny...how I used to refer to the pack as...'them'. When did I officially join the ranks of delinquents?
Oh right...it was when I first sank my teeth in to Robbie's soft tasty flesh...
Cyrus stopped the truck in a small parking lot outside of some kind of bargain shopping outlet place. I guess if I was going to get enough clothes to last me a while, for just one hundred and fifty bucks this would be the place to go. Especially since I seem to keep ripping out of them every time I change.
I noticed that Dexter had been so unusually quiet today. In fact, he's hardly spoken more than a full sentence or two since he first said good morning to me. It wasn't really...'normal' for him to not be randomly spouting off about a million different topics at once. Instead, he silently remained connected at my side, stroking my flat stomach with his hand, and basically keeping everyone else away from me. Even his position in the pack had changed slightly as we started walking towards the store....just so he could be closer to me. He was much more stable now, not wandering in and out of order like before. I thought more about what Cyrus told me, and attempted to just...I don't know...put a tiny bit of distance between us. Not far enough to hurt his feelings or anything. But...enough where I think Cyrus' original order began to take hold of him again. And sure enough...his wandering began again. I have to admit that it was somewhat comforting. Father would not tolerate me leading one of his own astray.
We entered the store together, as a single unit, and while all heads turned in our direction like they always did...I hardly noticed it this time. I didn't even get a positive rush from being the outcast this time around. These people were beneath me. Every last one of them. Hiding what they truly feel behind cracked masks of fake emotion. An artificial morality built from dusty old Bible verses and imitated traditions from a set of parents that were just as screwed up and hypocritical as they were if not MORE so. Allow myself to be judged by THEM??? Never. They can kiss my ass!
Kristin came over to throw a tomboyish arm over my shoulder as she offered to help me find something to wear. "We're gonna concentrate on shirts mostly for today. Just for the time being. We're not exactly building you a wardrobe here, but we're gonna need something to keep you clothed while you're still having your little 'accidents'."
"Accidents?" I said with a grin.
"Hey, transformation is nothing to play with. Especially in the beginning If you thought that keeping a teenage boner from springing out of control was hard...wait until you try to get the beast under control." She said. "You're gonna have a bit of a hair trigger for the first few weeks, and we'll work on keeping that in check with a few techniques Sebastian taught the rest of us. For now, though...just in case...let's get you some cheap t-shirts." She looked through a rack of shirts that were on sale, three for ten dollars. "A LOT of cheap t-shirts." She added. "Your inner wolf is a bit top heavy from the looks of it. And your arms are a bit longer than Kriegar's, but not as big." She looked me up and down, and then held a shirt up to my chest. "Hmmm...this should work. Maybe a size bigger to give you some more room for accidental 'flare ups'. You should be fine" She turned to Shank and Razor and said, "Get thirty pair. Two of everything. I'm sure you two can handle that."
Kriegar then jumped in, "Hey, let's get something for Kristin too. Where's the fat chick section at in this place?" She smacked Kriegar across the face hard enough for half the store to hear it, and after staring each other down for a moment or two, they both started snickering at each other "Fucking asshole..." She said.
"You smacked me pretty HARD, you bitch! Geez! Lose our sense of humor, did we?" But Kristin pushed him in another direction as we continued shopping.
"Excuse me...there's no drinking in the store." One of the workers at the store told Kriegar, and he took another sip right in front of her.
"Drinking? I don't know what the fuck you're talking 'bout. This is cough medicine."
"Out!" She said. And, much to my surprise, Kriegar didn't put up a fight.
"I'll be outside. Hurry up in here. I wanna fuck somebody before the daylight fades." He said, and gave the clerk the finger as he turned the bottle up once again and walked outside. I laughed a bit to myself, and Kristin pulled my ear.
"Pay NO attention to that clown, Wesley. Come on now, focus."
"Yes ma'am!" I grinned, and saw Cyrus smile at me as we continued to grab some more stuff from the bargain racks in the store.
And then...we felt it. A sudden 'yank' in the energy flowing through us, guiding us outside. Not really an emergency, but something that we were definitely required to deal with. Cyrus looked over at Sebastian, and he gave Cyrus a glance that let him know that he was ready to investigate the disturbance immediately. The twins dropped two big armfuls of t-shirts at the front counter, and told the cashier to hold on to them for a moment They stacked up pretty high, and the workers were bewildered beyond belief as we all filed out of that place to see what was going on.
And the first thing we saw, as Kriegar stood against the building, watching from a distance...obviously the one who sent the signal...was a police officer looking closely at our truck. And taking down the license plate number. A SHERIFF. And that didn't look good at all.