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I kept my head down the entire time I was walking back to the truck,. Was it shame that I felt? Perhaps. More than a touch of embarrassment for losing so much of my self control. And yet, being so in tune with the other members of my pack seemed to constantly sweep me up with constant and unwavering support. Silent reminders that I could do no wrong in the eyes of my brethren. It went beyond madness to realize that I may never find this kind of non-judgmental, unconditional, love from any other source on this planet ever again. Not even within my own....
The thought came to me in a brief flash. Like the spark of a cigarette lighter with no fuel. An echo of days past. A mother. A father. A younger brother. Nick was his name. The memory was swift. Darting past my consciousness without much time for me to dwell on it.
"Wesley?" I turned to see Sebastian giving me a stern look. Funny thing, even then he was the most physically gorgeous boy for miles around. "Why don't we get back in the truck? It's time to go." He said. Obviously detecting my wayward thoughts, and doing his job as Father's main advisor to keep all of his pups in line. "Is there a 'problem', Wesley?" He said again, his voice never reaching anything other than a calm and soothing pitch.
Before I was able to say much of anything, I noticed two elongated shadows stretching past my feet on the ground, and realized that Shank and Razor were standing right behind me. Practically herding me in the right direction with a duo of malicious grins. So silent. They were always so very silent.
I took a moment to yawn, my body still a little numb from my near transformation, and then did as I was told without any further coercion. But...that bittersweet memory. Something about it lingered within. It called out to me. That seems so long ago. That life doesn't even feel real to me anymore.
Cyrus gave me a cordial smile as I approached the truck in much better shape than when I left it. He stepped to the right and held the passenger side door open for me, allowing me to slide back into the middle of the front seat. Isaac's eyes stared at me with such a worried expression. I felt bad for scaring him.
"Are you ok? I should have warned you that I was going to...that I was about to...?" He stuttered, but I just leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek to relax him. Already my thoughts were becoming saturated again. But I was getting used to them being that way. It wasn't much of a transition anymore. I could feel my will be systematically broken down, layer by layer. I simply didn't care anymore. "Were you sick?" He asked.
"No. Not at all. I think I just got a little bit overwhelmed." I smirked. "Who knew that you would taste sooooo good? It was quite the surprise. I can't wait for more."
Cyrus tapped the side of the truck, and everyone else quickly climbed into the back. I didn't even have to turn around to feel Scout's angry eyes staring at me through the back window. Even with Kristin holding him lovingly in her lap, I could tell that he was annoyed he had to spend even more time away from Father's love. I could feel his impulses burning red hot with a loathsome flare. I was glad that we were so close to home. I doubt Scout would put up with this miserable separation for much longer before he started acting out. Already, his arms were folded in a boyish pout. Knowing Scout, childish devilment wasn't far behind.
I just remember 'sinking' as Isaac started up his truck again. Sinking, sinking. Sinking into that everlasting ooze. That murky swamp of bliss that comes from a total lack of sympathy for the world. The bliss that comes from accepting that you're 'better'. I felt it take over me. I abandoned myself and I let it win again. It was getting easier all the time. After all I've done....what could my soul possibly be worth?
No need depriving myself from these last material moments of pleasure when I know that I'm going to bun in hell regardless....
...If anything...it gives me permission to get worse. To create a level of wickedness that the dark lords could be proud of.
That 'Father' could be proud of.
As Isaac drove further down the road, and the lights of the gas station faded into the darkness behind us, I found myself unable to go for more than a few seconds without touching him. The stench of arousal lingered on the surface of his skin. His manhood still dribbling nectar into the fabric of his torn underwear. Still warm. Still hard. Still craving more. That scent. I don't know how I never noticed that scent before in my human life. It was soooo intoxicating. I leaned over and placed my head on Isaac's shoulder. My hand in his lap. Already I hungered for another taste. Already could I feel my senses being captivated all over again.
Luckily, Cyrus spoke to keep my untamed passions from taking me over the edge. At least for now. "You've gone quiet, Mr. Montrager. Hopefully you haven't gotten shy on us. I was so enjoying your company." He said with a smile.
"I..." Isaac wasn't quite sure what to say. I could feel the warmth of his blush as he tried to keep his eyes on the road. Pitch black, save for the few illuminated feet in front of his headlights. "I...was just wondering if we were getting close. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going. I've never been out this far."
Cyrus gave him a demonic grin. "Don't worry, Isaac. Your 'journey' is almost at an end. Trust me on this."
Isaac thought nothing of the comment...but I knew what it meant. However, instead of cringing in horror...I had to catch myself to keep from snickering out loud. I don't know why. Madness doesn't come with a tutorial. But I found a strange thrill in being aware of that particular moment. Knowing that it was so close to the end of his life. Having knowledge of the golden presence of danger while he was so completely unaware. Right now, he's only thinking of the sex. Only thinking of getting some privacy and truly tossing away his virginity to the wolves around him. He didn't know....but I knew. My brethren knew. I took pleasure in denying him the privilege of knowing. I took even more pleasure in hearing Father taunt him behind the veil of a warm smile. It was almost enough to bring me to a climax without a single touch. Exhilarating is hardly the word.
"Wesley here is anxious to sink his teeth into you tonight, Isaac. I envy you. Your first time will definitely be something to remember." Cyrus said. I could hear Isaac's breathing increase as he swallowed nervously. His foot pressed down on the gas pedal to increase our speed ever so slightly. "It's too bad you won't have anyone to brag to. Or do you?"
"B-Brag?" Isaac asked.
"Someone who knows your special little secret. Someone who might be rooting for you from the sidelines."
"Oh....ummm...n-n-no. No one."
Cyrus narrowed his eyes slightly with a grin. There was a pause, and he asked, "You still haven't admitted it yet, have you? Not even to yourself?" Isaac turned an even deeper shade of red. "I'm willing to bet that you've never even said the word out loud."
"That you're gay. You're still...hoping it'll just 'go away' and leave you alone someday, aren't you? Hehehe!" I felt Isaac's muscles tense up, and I craned my neck to give him a kiss on the neck and hopefully relax him a bit more. "Ohhhh, this is precious. You'll be losing more than just your V-Card tonight. You're actually taking your first shaky steps out of the fog and into life itself. That, my friend, is a beautiful thing. Like watching a flower blossom, or butterfly fight its way out of its cocoon."
"Father, you'll make him nervous." I smiled, and Cyrus gently reached out to rub my hair.
"There's nothing to be nervous about. It's honest. It's liberating. Isaac should be proud. Some people pull some fascinating mental maneuvers to keep themselves submerged in the lie. I, for one, am happy that your boy here has taken the higher road."
As Cyrus' eyes stared brazenly at Isaac from the side, he got more and more uncomfortable. In fact, as my hand began to rub up and down his thigh, I felt him slightly pull away from me. Now aware of the extra pair of eyes observing his every move.
"What? What is it?" Cyrus teased. "Oh please, does it really make you that uncomfortable? It used to make Wesley uncomfortable too. But he got over it. You don't see him harboring any regrets, do you?"
With a giggle, I nibbled Isaac's neck and gave him a little lick. He tasted good.
"I know...it's just..." Isaac started, sopping as he tried to force his way past the embarrassment. "...I don't...it's never been appropriate to talk about such things..."
"Talk about what? Truth?" Cyrus asked. "Funny...as someone who's being asked to devote the rest of his natural life to the church, I'd think that 'truth' would be one of their valued priorities. Isn't 'truth' the foundation of your beliefs...or does it somehow interfere with the potency of the fairy tale?"
I could sense a change in Isaac again. The scent became slightly bitter as Cyrus took blind shots at his beliefs. "If you don't mind, I would rather not talk about religion." He said timidly.
"We're not talking about religion. We're talking about truth." Cyrus continued. "Are you happy with the hallucination? Does it comfort you? If it's one thing that I can definitely agree with, it's that truth is like arsenic to comfort. They can't coexist until your mind is ready. But nobody prepares. They're frightened by it." I felt Cyrus' hand behind my neck, and he pulled me towards him to kiss me lustfully on the lips. This open display caught Isaac a little off guard, and the truck swerved slightly on the road while he tried to get over the shock of it. The others in the back laughed and gave a light cheer for the commotion. Then Cyrus let me go, and pushed me back towards Isaac to rest my head on his shoulder again. "You see? There really is comfort in truth...but you have to surrender to it. All of it, not just the shiny parts. You have to stop being so afraid of it. Emotion? Emotion is truth. Why do you think people are so afraid of it? Afraid they're going to feel too much. God help us if we feel too much! Regulate our love, our lust, our anger, our joy. Suppress it. Limit it. Keep it under control. Don't go too far one way or the other. A full emotional experience might be too much for us to handle. Mankind is obsessed with trying to beat nature. Then we keep everyone else in line like little soldiers. We not only police ourselves, but we police each other. It's a shared psychosis. One in which we actively deny reality every single day." He said. "A lie is a lie is a lie...no matter how many people share your belief in it."
Cyrus wasn't going to stop until a part of Isaac was broken. I was certain of that. It was as if he had found a weakness in his armor, and he reveled in the feeling of twisting the screwdriver playfully in the exposed areas.
"Wesley knows all about the destructive power of truth. Don't you?" He said.
I smiled as I rubbed my nose back and forth across Isaac's cheek, and I moaned, "In order to gain knowledge...innocence must be lost."
"Exactly." Cyrus reached over to rub the back of my neck as I practically purred with content. "That naughtiness you're feeling right now, Isaac? That tingle, that urge....that pull. There's nothing wrong with it. There never was. You've been taught to feel 'dirty' about it. Taught to feel dirty about truth. Everyone has. You live and you lie for 'them'. You bottle it up and you push it down and you hide it in the darkest parts of you where you hope nobody will find it. You're ASHAMED of your truth." Cyrus told him. "But eventually...someone comes along...a beautiful stranger at a weekend party...and they reach out and they 'touch' that truth. And while you may feel guilty about it in the morning, right now you can hardly keep from bouncing in your seat. Bursting wide open with giddy anticipation for the moment when you get to truly be free. That thrill. That rush. The release of pressure on your weary mind. Let it go. If you're going to lie to yourself, lie with reason. Lie to serve your own purpose. You want it. You know you want it. And you can have it." He taunted. "It's a wild feeling, isn't it? Having your 'truth' touched. Hehehe..." As he said the words, I gripped Isaac's bulge roughly through his pants, causing him to jump. The truck swerved again as Cyrus and I shared a laugh, the others in the back giving us another cheer. "Don't worry, Isaac. It's quite alright. While others have made a sickening habit out of forcing you to lie in order to closely guard the claustrophobic walls of their comfort zone, Wesley and I are giving you the night off. We're going to allow you to untangle that prudish little 'knot' in your emotions and discover what it's like to live your life as if it were coming to an abrupt and painful end." The statement caused me to giggle again, and I allowed my fingers to twirl around aimlessly in Isaac's soft sandy blond hair. Cyrus then smiled and added, "Tonight, Mr. Montrager...you're going to finally indulge in the passions you keep most secret. Tonight...you're going to truly experience what it's like to live life...as though God wasn't watching..."
It was only about five minutes later that I began to feel the dark surroundings becoming a bit more familiar. We were close to home. Our energies were converged onto that chosen spot. Our dwelling. Our stomping grounds.
"You're going to make a turn up here." Cyrus told him, and Isaac slowed down to find the small abandoned road leading up to the house. "You can park anywhere you like in the yard. It won't matter."
Isaac noticed how dark the house looked. "So...are....are your parents out of town or something...?" He asked.
Cyrus and I looked at each other and grinned. "Sure." Cyrus smirked. "Out of town." The truck came to a stop, and Isaac turned off the engine. He started to take his keys, but Cyrus stopped him. "Leave them in the ignition. It's quite alright. I assure you...your truck will be safe out here."
He said it without so much as a pause of breath, but seeing as we had recently pushed our own truck down a hill and into a deep ditch earlier that evening...it was clear that Cyrus was planning to make this one his newest mode of transportation. According to his plans...Isaac wouldn't be needing it anymore anyway.
The truck rocked back and forth a bit as everyone jumped over the side. Scout was quick to rush over and thrust his arms around Cyrus' waist, receiving a loving kiss on the top of his blond mop for the affectionate embrace. Isaac still seemed a bit overwhelmed by the others. Even more so when Kristin walked by and she gave him a shove and a grin. Before he could even recover, Kriegar bumped him hard with his shoulder as he headed towards the house. "Watch it, Junior." He grunted.
I lightly took a hold of Isaac's hand. "Don't mind them. As far as I'm concerned, it's just you and me tonight. K?" I noticed Sebastian giving me a stare as he walked by, but I didn't think much of it. I was too busy admiring my 'gift'.
We all went into the house, and Kriegar was the first to head to the kitchen for a drink. The music started up, the old stereo being turned up to full volume, and all at once, we were a united pack again. With Isaac still being the odd man out.
"What stinks in here?" Kriegar said as he came back with three big bottles of alcohol.
"Fuckin' REEKS!" Scout said, reaching for one of the bottles. Kriegar smacked the younger boy's hand away. "HEY!"
"'Hey!' nothing. Go get a cup. You always go overboard. You get a few sips and that's it." It was almost as if Kriegar was being somewhat 'responsible' for him. In his own way, at least.
John Boy picked up on the scent as well, and nodded towards Sebastian...who looked behind the couch and frowned slightly as he picked up the body of a dead squirrel.
Cyrus shook his head. "Shank...what did we tell you? No dead things in the house. You have a shack in the back yard for storing whatever it is you want to keep."
Usually the quieter of the two twins, Shank replied, "It wasn't dead when I put it there. I was waiting for it to expire, but it held on for quite some time. Pity I missed it."
Isaac looked horrified as Sebastian tossed the dead animal across the room for Shank to catch it. "Get rid of it."
Both Shank and Razor took it out the back door. But while the rest of us were unphased by Shank's little hobby, Isaac needed to be calmed and reassured again.
Kriegar walked over and practically shoved a bottle in Isaac's face. "DRINK!"
He was speechless at first. Was my face this full of confusion when they first corrupted me? I wonder. "Um...no thanks. I had...I had something to drink at the party. So..."
Kriegar grinned a bit to himself, and I noticed that Cyrus and a few of the others joined him for a chuckle. "I didn't hear a question mark at the end of my sentence. Did you guys?" Kriegar said, taking the top off of the bottle and tossing it over his shoulder. "Drink. Relax. It'll make you feel good." Isaac was going to refuse again, but Kriegar pushed the bottle into his chest. "DRINK!!!"
Isaac was clearly shaken by the sudden confrontation. I gently took the bottle from Kriegar's hand and gave him a smile. Then I turned it up and took a few healthy swallows of the potent liquid myself. It didn't burn and sting and create the kind of chaos inside of me like it did the first few awkward times I pressed a liquor bottle to my young lips. Instead, my body welcomed the soothing warmth of it as it traveled down into my chest. I lowered the bottle, and smiled at Isaac as I offered it to him again. A much more graceful offering.
Looking into my eyes, but still trembling with doubt, Isaac nervously wrapped his fingers around the bottle...raised it to his sexy lips, and took a few sips of his own.
"You see?" I said. "Everything doesn't respond well to such a barbaric approach, Kriegar."
"Fuck a 'barbaric approach'! Drink like your testicles have dropped, bitch!" With that, Kriegar lifted the bottle higher and forced more alcohol to rush into Isaac's mouth. Some of it spilled out of the corners of his lips, and the second Kriegar let go, he quickly brought the bottle down and leaned forward...coughing and sputtering and breathing hard as he held his chest with one hand. "MUCH better! For a second there, I thought we were gonna have to put it in a goddamn baby bottle for you." Kriegar turned the bottle up, and air bubbles gurgled their way to the top as he greedily gulped down a third of what was left right in front of us before coming up for air. "Ahhhh, now that's what I'm talking about!" Then, with another hard bump of his shoulder, Kriegar knocked Isaac's waifish little body back a step or two to plop down on the couch between Kristin and John Boy. He was obviously a bit dizzy, so he had no defense when little Dexter suddenly hopped up into his lap, straddling his legs and facing him.
Dex took a deep whiff of his hair, and smiled. Not the normal goofy smile that I was used to seeing on his face. This smile had a much more sinister appeal to it. "You have pretty eyes." Dexter told him. "I love your eyes. They're like candy."
Isaac peeked over at me, not quite knowing what to make of Dex and his unrehearsed bouts of weirdness. But as I looked over at Cyrus...Scout curled up in his lap with his little plastic cup only a quarter of the way full...I realized that the time I had with him was limited. I definitely wanted to make the most of it.
Cyrus connected his gaze to mine. Smiling as he saw Dexter lean forward and actually lick one of Isaac's closed eyelids. "Hehehe, John Boy..." Cyrus said.
John Boy immediately responded. "Dex. Down."
"Awww, but I want my candy..." Dex whined.
"Down, Dexter. Come on now. You can have candy later." John Boy repeated, and actually 'shooed' him off of Isaac's lap with his hands. "You'll have to excuse our Dexter. He's...easily excited."
"Did....he say my eyes looked like 'candy'?" Isaac asked, but I stepped in to take him by the hand.
"I want to take a shower." I told him. "I want you to join me." I think he was bashful about having me say that in front of the other, but when I gave him a tug on his delicate fingers....he didn't give me much resistance.
"Wesley?" Cyrus summoned me just as I led Isaac to the bottom of the staircase. I nodded for him to go on up, and I whispered that I'd meet him in a moment. I walked over and stood at Father's side. Scout looked up at me with a scowl, hugging Cyrus around the neck so as to remind me that it was his turn to be the center of our leader's attention. "Be sure to show our guest a good time. No limitations. Understood?"
"Good. Have your fun. But at the end of the day...remember who you belong to."
"Of course, Father." I said, and leaned down to give Cyrus a lingering kiss on the cheek. Scout only hugged him tighter, and I grinned at him. I ruffled his hair while the bratty little boy pulled away from me. "Don't worry, Scout. He's all yours."
"Go away..." He sulked, and Cyrus gave him a pat on the bottom to remind him of his manners.
I noticed Dex focusing on his bladed cross...dangling to the floor on the end of his chain. He didn't look up. Not even when I said goodnight. No matter. I'll make it up to him in the morning.
I made my way to the top of the stairs, and I saw Isaac staring blankly at the giant stain on the hallway carpet. He seemed frozen in place. He didn't even hear me come up behind him. Did he know what it was? Could he tell that it was blood? Or did his protective mind prevent him from believing in the possibility of such horrors?
I took him by the hand again, and I made sure that he redirected his gaze to meet my own. "You are so beautiful. You know that?" I said.
"I think...you're beautiful too..." His voice was quaking with the gentle tremors of infatuation. When I leaned in to kiss him tenderly on the lips, his pheromones went wild. Pouring out of him in buckets as he submitted to the moment. The addition of 'privacy' had allowed him to let go a little more. To indulge. Experience. He honestly felt that he was now beyond the view of a social judge. I could hardly call it courage, but it gave him a certain extra flare that I found particularly attractive.
"The shower's this way..." I grinned, and I rubbed my nose playfully against his.
"Don't we need, like, some towels or...?"
"Hehehe, nudity is definitely not something that you have to worry about, Isaac. Not in this house." I told him. "Come. Come on. Don't be shy..."
I led him into the bathroom and turned on the light. I didn't bother closing the door. Even under the harsh bright light and with only cold bathroom tile for his background...I couldn't help but to stand in awe of his innocent beauty. There was something soooo...undeniably sweet about him. Pure. Untouched. As a sexual being, he was brand new. A toy in an unopened package. Seeing him sheepishly grin and look away from my eyes with a self conscious blush...it gave me a shiver of delight.
"Don't be coy. Take your clothes off. I want to see you. All of you." I said. I started by removing my shirt, and then slowly helping him off with his. I watched his blond hair flop back down into his face, and I ran my hands over the spotless, unblemished, skin of his chest. The only true texture they experienced came from the spike of his erect nipples as my palm glided across them. The rest of him was smooth as glass. Only Scout could boast a softer canvas of unblemished skin. The tightening of Isaac's excited stomach muscles left a sizeable gap between his shallow belly button and the waistline of his pants. If it weren't for the delicious mounds of his ass behind him, I'd be baffled as to how he held up his pants at all. I found that to be so very hot.
I buried my nose and lips into the side of his neck, and pressed his back against the cold wall. Kissing him. Touching him. Immersing myself in the glory of that satin skin. Our lips met, and our tongues mated in the gentle vacuum caused by our kissing. He was so into it. So amazed by the feel of it. So responsive to the sensation. He was eager. So much so, that I was worried that he'd explode soon from kissing alone if I didn't give him a breather. So I backed off for a second, and I lightly brushed the hair out of his eyes. Seeing his pinkish hue as his cheeks entertained another crimson display of raw beauty. My God, he was so cute.
I turned around and began running the hot water in the shower, trying to get it to a comfortable temperature. I could feel his eyes on me. I was still two years younger than he was, but it was obvious who was in control here. I turned around and saw him still standing there with his pants on. Almost afraid to move. His fascination with me made me smile, and I approached him slowly, letting my fingers slide down his chest, and then further to work on the button and zipper of his pants. Isaac closed his eyes, shivering with sensual excitement. I smashed my lips against his as I opened the front of his pants and let them fall to the floor. He tensed slightly. His body's craving conflicting with the jitters associated with being so exposed, so naked, in front of another boy. Oh my...this boy was a rare find indeed. A true treasure.
I could feel the rips in his boxers, and smiled as our tingles mingled above. I reached behind him, allowing my warm palms to slowly push the fabric down over the sexual rise of those soft spongy globes of flesh. I could feel a touch of moisture as my fingers slid down the narrow cleft between his cheeks...a barely noticeable feeling of peach fuzz gracing each ripe melon. His breathing increased, and I felt his hardness jumping wildly against my lower belly. Too soon. Much too soon. I let got of the kiss, and took a step back to look at him. He was amazing. Absolutely exquisite. He wasn't quite sure what to do with his hands. He had to fight the instinct to cover up. This exploration was only easy for him while he was doing it on auto pilot. Now that he was forced to think about it...the discomfort returned. And I let him squirm in silence for a full minute more before putting his mind at ease again.
I reached forward and cupped his warm orbs in my hand, his hard shaft reaching up past my wrist, and leaking nectar onto my heated skin. I lowered myself, but only briefly, to take as much of him into my mouth as I could...watching his knees go weak as I gave him one long, slippery, suck that made him gasp out loud. Then, I let go of him to finish undressing myself.
Isaac's eyes never left me. He worshipped the flesh with childlike wonder as his eyes feasted shamelessly on the body of another boy for the very first time. The lust within him was breaking down those barriers. Feeling naughty about his actions were no longer relevant. By the time I had removed my last stitch of clothing, he had no problem dropping to his knees and sinking my hardness into his sucking lips. Mmmm..I groaned out loud, my fingers tangled in his hair. His inexperience made him self conscious, but his lust gave him guidance. What began as an experimental expression of desire quickly transformed into a fulfillment of all of his deepest fantasies. I even took pleasure from the few times his teeth accidentally raked themselves over my inches. It felt so good to have him be mine at long last. He tried to suck harder. Faster. He was completely giving up every last part of him that was holding back, and surrendering to the moment. That intoxicating moment. When I reached down to pull young Isaac to his feet...it was hard to get him to stop.
He looked into my eyes, and the older boy moved forward to kiss me deeply on the lips. His hands kneaded my soft cheeks, and he whimpered as he connected his body to mine with a fever. He wanted me soooo badly. He must have been longing for this moment for years now. Now that it was here, he had a hard time controlling himself. I liked that.
I pried him away from me for a moment, and gave him a grin. He was almost breathless with sexual tension. He was truly ready now.
Ready...to be taken....
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