“Great you all scared them off completely,” Bambi states.
It's been a week. Kaysha and Jax have been sitting at another table from ours. Greg, Bambi, Chyna, Dre, Jae Jae and I are at our usual table.
“It's so weird
that they don't to sit with their real friends,” Jae Jae
responds, “Regardless of the differences we have right
Kaysha and Jax are sitting with the other students who went on the Mars mission. The only one I recognize is the guy Lamar. They are all talking and bonding at their table away from us. It's clear that my friends are a little jealous.
Dre shakes his head,
“Not really. Think about it. They spent a year on a space
shuttle. They survived by some miracle. None of them are talking
about it. Maybe it's a bonding experience.”
Chyna shrugs, “What bonding experience?”
“Survival is one hell of a bonding experience.”
“Survival just so they could end up being stuck on a sinking ship anyway?” Bambi asks Dre, “No thanks. They were better off being left on Mars...”
“But how?” I ask them.
“How the fuck did they survive?”
It was the elephant in the room that no one could figure out. How do a group of students survive on a space shuttle for a year with very limited supplies. They had gone on the a space shuttle that was supposed to land on Mars. The mission was supposed to last just a day.
Dre shrugs, “How
did they survive is a good question. You know another good question?
How the fuck did we end up on the other side of the
universe...period. There is a lot of weird shit going on.”
Bambi nods, “I agree let's just be happy we got them back the same as they were before...”
Greg laughs a little bit, “Not completely the same...”
No one else catches what Greg is saying. They ignore it. I don't though. I look over at him and he smiles at me with a knowing smirk. Greg thinks that Kaysha is pregnant. I haven't even told anyone including Jae Jae. That would completley break his heart if he found out the girl he loved was pregnant by another guy.
“Don't no one
look,” Chyna changes the subject, “Here comes
We all knew what that meant.
Within a matter of minutes someone walks up to the table. It's Pia. She isn't alone. She's rarely ever alone. She has her hall monitors with her. Pia doesn't have any real friends. No one likes her. I can feel the misery from across the room as she approaches the power. Now that she doesn't have any realf friends its clear she is depending on her employees to give her power.
“What's going on here?” Pia starts.
It's almost everyday now that this girl comes and tries to mess with us.
happy,” I respond, “You might want to try it
Pia rolls her eyes, “Smart ass huh Mario?”
Bambi is giving Pia a death stare, “Girl what the fuck do you want? You still can't sit with us. I know you want to.”
“Don't curse at me. I'm Class President now. You can't curse at me,” Pia stated.
“I can motherfucking do what I motherfucking please to a low down dirty hoo----” Bambi starts off just as Greg comes over to start to gag his sister.
again bitch. Let her go. Say that again,” Pia responds, “You
must WANT to end up in the hole.”
The hole was what they called the prison. Since when did a school need a prison. The LaPerlas were out of control. They were so power hungry. Little did they know we were all going to die on this space station. I guess this was what they wanted to do anyway.
“Do you just
come to people's tables and ratchet it the fuck up?” I ask Pia,
“Did you have a reason to be here?”
“I hear you guys were questioning the students who went to Mars.”
I turn to Dre. He HAD to have been the one to tell Pia. No one else talked to her. The only reason Dre talked to her was because he was still working for the LaPerla's according to our little deal. It HAD to have been Dre. I can't help but to look at Dre and roll my eyes.
“Thanks Dre,” I tell him.
“I'm sorry...I---” Dre started.
I roll my eyes,
“Whatever. It doesn't even matter. We were Kaysha and Jax
about how they survived. They survived a year by themselves with no
support. We want to know how. And I think we deserve to fucking
“What you want to do is mind your business...before you end up in the hole,” Pia states.
“For asking questions?” I ask.
doesn't need civil discord...” Pia responds, “You do
remember what happened to the last students who disobeyed my mother
threatening to shoot me?” I ask, “For asking
My friends are looking at me. No one is coming to my support. Not even Bambi who hated Pia's guts. They all remembered the Black Day when Captain LaPerla killed all of those students for rioting. They all remembered what the LaPerla's were capable of.
What were they trying to hide? What happened to Jax and Kaysha?
Pia smiles, “In
space...my mother is the judge...and the jury.”
“Are you done?” Jae Jae asks Pia.
Pia smiles, “Sure. C`mon Dre. I'm going to need you to come with me...”
“I didn't eat yet.”
“Well you work for me remember. Earning your keep on this space station,” Pia tells him, “Remember. And I need more monitors.”
I look at Dre.
“You can't be serious.”
Dre sighs a little bit, “I have to...”
Dre gets up at that moment and walks after Pia. It's embarrassing really. My boyfriend is my enemy's personal whipping boy. He did whatever she said when she said it. It fucking sucked really and come to think about it that is what really started turning me off from Dre in the first place.
I am in Peter's class. I'm not surprised when Dre sits next to me and Jax sits all the way in the back of the class. I'm sure he would have sat back there even if Dre hadn't stolen the seat he had a year ago. We are in another semester of Astronomy but the curriculum is more abut wasting time and making sure students feel comfortable enough not to start another riot.
Truth is no one is interested in learning anymore. There is a depression that has spread like wildfire throughout the space station. No matter how far we go. No matter how fast we try to get there...it won't be enough.
We would never see space again.
The class ends without anyone really paying attention to what Peter was saying. Peter was trying his best. I knew he was. He was attempting to get everyone not to be upset and depressed. It didn't work though.
“Class dismissed,” Peter tells us, “Hmm...Mr. Christopher...do you mind staying a little bit after and organizing this paperwork.”
“What---why?” Jax asks him.
“You were out for almost a year. I understand it was no fault of yours but I do feel like organizing this will help you catch up a little bit.”
Jax looks at the paperwork Peter puts down on the table.
This will take forever.
Peter nods, “You're right...”
“So I can leave?”
Peter shakes his head, “No...how about I leave you someone to assist you.”
“I'll do it,” Dre raises his hand.
I know what Peter is
doing. I know what Dre is doing.
Peter shakes his head, “Actually I was thinking about Mr. Kane.”
Peter knew everything about Jax. He knew that I cared about him. He also knew Jax would probably be going out of his fucking way to avoid me. He was trying to keep us together and I knew it. I look over at my teacher and as everyone leaves I mouth the words thank you.
Dre looks at me. I can tell he's uncomfortable with this and he looks reluctant as he gets up and leaves.
Jax, Peter and I are in the room together.
Peter walks over to the board. He writes with one of the markers: LOVE
“Topic for tomorrow's class,” he states and heads towards the door.
“Wait you're leaving?” Jax asks all of a sudden really uncomfortable.
“I'll be right back. Why don't you boys get busy,” Peter responds.
I know Jax thinks its awkward especially after Peter leaves. He looks nervous. I'm not nervous though. I'm excited. I haven't been alone with Jax for more than a year. The idea of being in this classroom alone with him is driving me crazy.
I get up out of my seat and make my way to the back of the class. Jax is staring so hard at the paper work, pretending like this is some sort of life changing paperwork.
“You...mind if I sit?” I ask.
“Can't you just take them to your desk?” Jax asks.
“Is that what you want?” I ask him.
Jax hesitates. He's breathing heavy. I can hear the change in his voice.
He stops looking at
me before changing his tone slightly, “Do what you want
I sit next to him. I slide the chair in towards him a little bit. I could swear that Jax closes his eyes for a few seconds even though I'm not looking at him. It's almost like Jax is bracing himself for something.
I smell Jax. We are
so fucking close together.
“Did you know Astrology actually preceded Astronomy?” I ask him after a few minutes of silence.
looks at the papers, “Oh. Yeah. K.”
“Astrologers claim that the moon has the same effect upon humans, as it does upon the ocean. If the moon can affect the huge tides it cannot fail to affect the human body, which consists of 75 per cent water. The moon is also associated with provoking deep emotions and humans when the emotionally charged are brought to tears. The moon's powers are also thought to affect women's monthly menstrual cycles. Funny huh?
Jax stops and turns to me, “What are you talking about man?”
“I'm just saying. Kind of explains when women are real...hormonal. You know? Sometimes when they PMS and hell...maybe even sometimes when they are pregnant...”
Jax turns to me, “Say what you got to say Mario...”
I stop playing with the papers.
Jax looks over at me, “Where'd you get that from?”
“Just answer me. Is she pregnant?”
Jax sits there for a second. He is breathing heavy. The look on his face says it all.
“I was going to tell you,” Jax explains, “I mean. We were going to tell everyone.”
“Does that make you feel better?” I ask.
“Changing it from being personal?” I ask him, “Why not just leave it as you were going to tell me? Why are you deflecting.”
“Stop analyzing me,” Jax responds, “You're so fucking smart aren't you? Figuring shit out all the fucking time. You don't have me figured out. Stop fucking trying...”
I guess my analysis is wrong when I think that the reason you are
trying to make things work with Kaysha is because you got her
pregnant. And the reason that want to make it work with Kaysha is so
that your child can grow up with both his parents. Unlike you...who
didn't have any.”
Jax gets up, “I'm gonna kill Greg...”
He starts to storm out of the room.
“Where are you going?”
“I can't do this.”
I race to the door at that moment. Before I know it I fling myself in front of the door stopping Jax from walking out. I'm standing there and pinned onto the door desperately holding onto it.
“No...” I stop him.
the fuck are you doing?”
“I'm not moving.”
“Yo---stop playing,” Jax responds, “I don't time for your bullshit ass games yo. Move out my way man or I'm gonna move you...”
“You think I won't. MOVE OUT MY WAY, Mario. What the fuck?”
Jax walks up to me. He looks like he's charging me but I know him too well. He stops short of charging me and instead attempts to move me by kind of putting his hand on me for a second. He attempts to move me by pushing me out of the way.
It doesn't work. I grab his hands and hold them up against me. I guide him to press up against me at that moment. I'm taking his muscular hands and wrapping them around me.
Before he can react I dive into his chest flinging my arms around him.
Then I kiss him.
I kiss him hard.
Our tongues collide. At first he doesn't see it coming. He's gripping his mouth closed, but slowly his mouth separates. He lets me slide his tongue into his mouth. He lets me press our tongues together. He's breathing slowly. He tilts to the side a little bit so that can have access...to kiss deeper. He isn't kissing me back, but he isn't stopping me. He's letting it happen.
I kiss him for what seems like forever and as soon as our lips stop being pressed up against one another he thrusts himself away from me.
he screams out, “What the fuck! Why the fuck would you do
“Bullshit. Don't act like you didn't want me to do that...
“Then why is your dick hard?” I ask him.
looks down. His face flushes with red.
“Fuck,” he says noticing the tent in his pants. He immediately turns away from me towards the board. God knows what he's thinking about right now. Dead puppies and old nuns for all I know.
why are you frontin'...”
“How am I frontin'?” Jax asks me, “Am I attracted to you still? Yes---hell yeah I am. That doesn't change the fact that I'm in a relationship now. I'm not a cheater. You would have known that if you didn't play me a year ago and got in a relationship with me.”
“So that's what this is about,” I reply, “Talk to me Jax. Tell me that you're still upset about the fact that I got with Dre instead of you.”
“You made your decision. You did what was best for you. I survived. I moved on. Isn't that what you want?”
Jax is dead ass.
“Would I be kissing you if that's what I wanted?” I ask.
stopped trying to understand the reasons you do the shit you do when
you told me that you didn't want to be with me and you wanted to be
with Dre,” Jax explains to me, “Because real shit, it
took me a long time to wrap my head around it. And I still don't get
“Because it was a lie.”
There. There it is. Finally.
“Pia made me lie about it.”
is a silence. For a moment I think he doesn't believe me. If it was
anyone else maybe Jax wouldn't believe me. Maybe Jax would have said
that I was making this up. This wasn't just anyone else though.
This was the devil in a weave herself. Pia LaPerla. She did fucked
up shit for the sake of it. She was a control freak and when someone
turned on her she would stop at nothing to get back at them.
That was the type of person he dated and I think after only a matter of seconds Jax believed me.
His face looks defeated for a minute as he struggles to find words, “What the fuck did you do man...what did she make you do?”
It's hard to say but I know now is the time. If I ever hope to have Jax look at me anywhere near the same as he did back a year ago I have to tell him everything now.
“Can't front. She gave me an ultimatum. If I didn't do what she told me to do Dre would have been locked up for sneaking on this space station and Jae Jae would have been locked up for helping him.”
“She wanted you not to fuck wit' me huh?” he asks.
He shakes his head, “Fuck.”
Jax sits down at that moment. He sits on the table. He's not saying anything. He looks like he's in deep thought. I don't know what is scarier though: having Jax flat out hate me or not knowing what is running through his head. I study his face as he silently sits in a chair. He is thinking and not really reacting. I can't read any emotions on his face. I don't know what he's thinking and this shit is driving me crazy.
My voice is desperate.
pass like hours. He leans back, crosses his arms and sighs deeply,
“I don't know what the fuck to say man. She's a spiteful bitch.
That's all I'm thinking about. When we broke up she told me if she
can't have me...no one will. Spiteful...as fuck...”
“This ain't breaking no news about Pia,” I let him know, “But that's not what I want you to say. I want you to say something about us.”
I've never been so desperate over a dude in my life. For a minute I can feel my confidence dwindle. This man had my life in his hands and he doesn't even know it. He's not even aware of how much control he has over me in these minutes.
“Jax spit it out.”
Jax sighs, “What does this even mean? So you don't have no feelings for Dre. Pia forced you to do it?”
“Are you mad?”
“Just disappointed man. That's all. All these thoughts coming in my head now. I'm don't know if I can go back to yesterday though man. Because I'm not the same person as I was yesterday.”
Shit. The burn fills my chest. He's avoiding eye contact. Is he telling me he's not interested?
“So there is no hope.”
“I'm going to be a dad yo---
“I know what you're going to be Jax,” I reply, “That's not what I'm asking you. Is there hope? Yes or no. It's a simple question. I can walk away.”
Jax is struggling. I can see him struggling. Selfishly it makes me feel a little bit better that I'm not the only one embarrassing the fuck out of myself right now. Love is hard. Matters of the hearts are hard. Jax who was always this confident, swagger-driven man is now tongue tied. He's not sitting there stuck between his thoughts and his feelings.
wish you could have told me a long time ago. I wish you at least
even given me a clue. I moved on yo. I moved on because I felt
denied. I felt like you ain't want me. And then when I was lost in
space on that shuttle I felt like I'd never see you again. I gave up
“But you did see me again Jax. I'm right here!”
“I just don't know if it's too late.”
I start backing away at that moment. I know I have no right to be mad at Jax. This is all my fault. I made the deal with Pia. I let her manipulate me. He could still be angry with me if he wants but he isn't. He's trying to be understanding.
I'm the one whose angry. My pride is getting the best of me. I'm damn near begging this boy and I can't keep doing this shit. I can't keep wounding my pride begging him to give me another shot.
the fuck are you going!”
Jax stops me. His muscles walk over me. He holds me close to him. I can smell his sweet breath up against my neck. I could kiss him right now. I want to kiss him. I want to make love to him right here in this class room.
But I stop.
“Like you said it's too late right?” I say, “You're going to be a father...or whatever. That's fine. That's ok. Right? Maybe in another lifetime. I guess...”
I sound defeated. I'm giving up this time. I've tried everything. I've told him the truth. And still---nothing.
stares down hiding any emotion that he feels in a solemn scowl, “This
That's all he says. As if drama between him and me really ever felt good for more than a few minutes a time.
“Good luck with your kid.”
I turn at that moment and start walking out.
He stops me. I don't turn back to him. Maybe if I turn back I'll start tearing up and crying. I'm not trying to do all that. I'm embarrassed enough with what is going on.
He seems like he wants to talk but he doesn't.
He doesn't say a word and when I realize he's stopping himself from talking on purpose I decide it's best that maybe I do just cut ties. Maybe it's best that I just leave.
“You in a good mood,” Jae Jae states.
It's the next day after I told Jax what happened. I'm smiling. Jae Jae and I are walking towards the lunch room. You would think it's weird. Why the fuck would I be smiling if the man that I love decided we should continue to stay apart.
got a lot off my chest with Jax...”
“Did he come to his senses?”
“No we're not getting back together...”
“Then why are you smiling?” Jae Jae asks again confused.
I said...I just got a lot off my chest,” I explain to Jae Jae,
“Jax has been walking around for more than a year probably
hating my guts and feeling like I genuinely didn't give a fuck about
him. Now we can just break up...in peace...”
Just as I say the word peace I heard screaming and fighting.
What the fuck is going on?
“I'M GOING TO BURN THIS SHIT DOWN! I'M GOING TO FUCKING BURN THIS SHIT DOWN!”
Jax. He's being carried away by the staff. Jax is in handcuffs!
What the fuck! I'm panicking at that moment realizing that something
went down in the cafeteria before I could even get there. I turn my
attention to the person who Jax is screaming at. It's Pia. Pia is
drenched in what looks like some sort of chocolate milk. The sticky
stuff is all over he very expensive looking outfit.
I'm shocked when I see student gathering around Pia laughing. It's clear that Jax dumped probably a whole GALLON of chocolate milk on Pia. Pia is standing there breathing hard looking like she's on the brink of tears.
“Peace you say?” Jae Jae looks at me.
All that peace shit went out the window...
I'm upset that Jax is being dragged away in handcuffs but GODDAM this is worth it to see Pia get what she deserved for once. The embarrassment is set in. Maybe someone else this wouldn't have been such a big deal but this wasn't in Jax's character. He wasn't some emotional wreck. He was calm cool and sexy. But now he was going off on Pia calling her every name in the book in front of the entire student body.
Jax is going in on Pia, “YOUR PUSSY IS LAME! You're a fucking whore WHO can't get a real man to fucking love her so she wants to Blackmail people. YOU RUINED MY LIFE YOU FUCKING BITCH!”
Pia storms off at that moment. As she walks off she walks right past me. She gives me the eye. She has to know what Jax is upset. She has to know Jax is pissed off because of the deal she made with me.
Pia doesn't say a word. If she opens her mouth she might break down in tears. But the grimace she gives me says it all.
The drama was just beginning...
And I had just awoken a sleeping giant.
Students are laughing at Pia. They are chasing her down the hallway. Dozens of students are after her and the mocking gets louder and louder. I think it has to do with the fact that no students really like Pia anymore. She's been taking this class president thing way too serious and people were starting to resent her. They were just waiting for a reason to make her feel like shit.
Jax just gave them all a reason.
Within the chaos I see a hand pull me to the side.
need to talk to
gets me to herself. I think she wants some time to laugh about our
common enemy in Pia. She doesn't seem at first like she has anything
too important to say but when she gets me to herself her face gets
“I owe you an apology,” Bambi states.
“Jax told you what happened with Pia?” I ask her.
“He told the
entire school,” Bambi replies at that moment, “I honestly
misjudged you man. I thought you were trying to play games. I
should have figured Pia was behind it and you were just sticking up
for your friends. I feel like I abandoned you...and I've been
treating you like shit for over a year.”
“It's all good. Water under the bridge. I forgive you....”
I have no doubt Bambi was my main cheerleader when I was with Jax. She just wanted us to be together SO bad for whatever reason.
not all I need you to forgive me for,” Bambi explains, “After
what I heard in the cafeteria I feel like I need to tell you what
I look at Bambi. I can just feel the bullshit and shadiness about to come in. I can see it in her eyes. These Dollhouse members were so sneaky and backhanded. Even if I wanted to like Bambi I just knew she was up to no good.
“You know I just really wanted to make sure Jax didn't end up with the wrong person. It's crucial he ends up with the right person. It's more complicated then you know. Key word is the right person. I always thought it was you...you know...”
Her obsession with who Jax ended up with was weird. She was friends with Jax but they weren't friends like that. She was trying to beat around the bush. Something was off about Bambi and her need to meddle in Jax's sex life.
And I didn't understand what that was...
“WHAT ABOUT KAYSHA?” I ask Bambi again.
“Listen...when you turned Jax down I had to find someone else. At first I thought it was that guy Lamar. But I wasn't sure that Jax was completely gay. So I did something. I did something shady as fuck man...”
For Bambi to be reacting like this I know whatever she did had to be the worst thing she's done yet. The look on her face is saying it all. She is panicking. She is struggling to say it.
This had to be the
worst thing yet. This had to be Bambi at her most conniving. Hell
she probably had to surpass even Petty Pia with this one.
“What did you do Bambi?”
Bambi bites onto her lower lip.
“I knew how Jax felt about kids. So I offered Kaysha money. More money then she'll know what to do with when we get back to Earth if she seduced Jax and put a hole in his condom. I made Kaysha trick Jax into this pregnancy...”
To read the next chapter in advance go to www.crushedcrown.com