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I remember it so vividly, the day I first saw Cal. A couple of days earlier, I had woken up in the middle of the night, hearing raised voices and slamming doors outside. Four years old, and already a curious fox, I had walked over to the window just in time to see our neighbour, Mr Simon, help his wife into the car. They had driven off in a hurry, and the next morning, mom had explained that Mrs Simon was going to the hospital, to have a baby. I said I had thought she was fat, but mom said oh no, she was pregnant, expecting her first child. The days had passed, until a taxi dropped her off, and I could see that mom had been right. Her huge stomach was gone, and she was cradling something, carrying it gently into the house. That night, we had been invited over, to look at the newcomer. The grown-ups had coffee, while I had a fruit drink, and we sat down on their couch, while mom and dad cooed at the tiny infant. I tried my best to get a good look, but they held it too high for me to see, so I sat back, sipping my drink.
"What's the matter, Jeremy?" mom asked. "Don't you like the new baby?"
"I can't see him," I complained, and so Mrs Simon sat down next to me, letting me take a good look. "Ooh!"
Inside all the layers of blanket, something moved. A bundle of fox-red fur, and I could see the outlines of a tiny muzzle. Then he yawned, smacking his thin lips, and I couldn't help cracking a grin. I had never seen anything so cute, and I told her so.
"Would you like to hold him?" she asked, despite mom's suddenly nervous look. I nodded, and she laid the bundle down on my lap. "Just be gentle."
I held the little fox kit, surprised at how heavy he was. The sudden shift woke him up, and I could see curious blue eyes looking up at me. The baby made a squeaky noise, then snapped at me as I stroked his furry chin. Toothless gums worried the tip of my finger, and I took care not to let him get at my claw.
"What's his name?" I asked, in an almost reverent hush. "He's got a name, right?"
"Sure," Mr Simon said. "His name is Charles Richard Simon, but I think it will be Charlie, for short."
"So cute..." I was lost, helplessly in love with those gentle, innocent eyes and that sweet little nose, that twitched every time I happened to touch a whisker. "So cute..."
"Looks like you'll never have to worry about finding a baby-sitter," dad laughed. "Here's a surefire volunteer."
"Yeah," I said, knowing this to be true.
It was. I looked in several times a day, just to see the baby; if nothing else, then to watch him sleep. As soon as he could crawl, I came over to play with him, to help teaching him how to walk, and later, to talk. When he got big enough to walk without falling over, we became almost inseparable. Whether we played at the Simon's, in one of the gardens or at our house, didn't make a difference; we were always met by happy, adoring smiles, and the words ‘how cute' were often heard.
As Cal - Charlie didn't quite stick - got old enough for toys, I wanted to give my old ones away, but mom stopped me. She told me not to spoil the boy, and I ended up giving him some stuffed animals, keeping the rest for him to play with when we were at our house. At those occasions, when I dug out the old toy-box, I really enjoyed the happy glimmer in his eyes.
Soon I started school, and a life of mild anarchy suddenly took to a strict order. After school, I would do my homework and my chores, and then I would play with Cal. He complained a little at first, not really wanting to share me with some ‘dumb ol' school', but he soon got used to it. Four years later, it was his turn, and I became his protector. At eleven, I was nowhere near impressive in size, but to anyone Cal's age, trying to bully him, I became a dreaded menace. My classmates often wondered why I spent so much time with a runt, but normally it just took them meeting Cal, to make them understand. At seven, he was still as cute, but had also developed a slightly cheeky charm. Since he took after me, somewhat, he acted older than his age, but after mom had warned me not to spoil him, I had done my best to make sure he was never cocky, never smart-arsed. And I didn't let him use me to bully others. In short, I helped the Simons raise Cal as, in my opinion, the sweetest kid on Earth.
During this time, dad's prophecy came true, and I began earning some money as baby-sitter. Earlier on, the Simons had just left Cal with my parents when they needed to go somewhere, but now they passed the responsibility to me, and I proudly accepted it, looking after both him and their house. At these occasions, I didn't accept any help from my parents, and I didn't need it, either. Cal was always nice to me, but when I baby-sat him, he was an angel, almost going out of his way to keep me happy with him.
Since we were always together, at school or at home, even doing our homework together, we earned a nickname; the foxters. If you saw one foxter, the other was surely around, somewhere. We were as close as brothers, maybe even closer, because all brothers sometimes fight, but we did not, except for mock-battles and wrestling. Yet, we were not brothers, and this was easily seen. He was a red fox, his crimson fur almost shining, especially compared to my duller reddish-brown. His long, blond hair and blue eyes also contrasted against my nut-brown, well-kept hair and green eyes. He was lithely built, I was a bit more stocky. I never really thought about this, but to him, it was a nuisance that grew until it had to be voiced. I recall that late afternoon; I was stuck with some terrible math sums, but he was long since done with his homework, and sat on his bed in my room, bored half to death. Since we were always together, and nearly always spent the night at each other's houses, he had a permanent bed in my room, and I had one in his. That afternoon, I could clearly tell that something was bothering him, even though he claimed that I was wrong. He was in his third year of school, and normally, sitting still, waiting to play, would be crucially hard to a lively nine-year-old, but he hardly even squirmed as I struggled with my maths. Finally done, I closed my notebook and put the pencil down. Cal had picked up a baseball, and was absent-mindedly tossing with it, but when I turned to face him, he looked away.
"Okay, Cal," I said. "What's wrong?"
"I told you, Jeremy, nothing!"
"If you say so." I have always been Jeremy, never Jerry or Jer. Now, despite his reassurances, I knew something was troubling him. "Don't really believe you, though."
"Feel like playing catch?" I picked up a softer ball, throwing it to him. Snapping it out of the air, he grinned back at me.
We roughed around on the lawn for about an hour, running and throwing and catching, not really minding it as the ball quickly got covered with spit, grass and dirt. We were used to it. But the afternoon sun took its toll, and as I leaped to catch the ball, I fell over, lying panting on my back. A shadow passing over my face gave me a half-second warning, before Cal pounced me, and we rolled over and over. Giggling, he pinned my hands down just long enough to snap the ball right out of my mouth. Bounding a couple of steps away, he stood there expectantly, bouncing slightly, grinning around the ball as he was ready for me to give chase.
"Cal, I can't run after you! I'm beat."
"That mean I won?"
"Yeah, you won. I give up. Damn sun's killing me."
"Thank you, sun," he said, laughing as he pulled me up. "Look at you, all grassy."
"Mr Green Fox was saying...?" I pointed to his bare arms. "Guess dad must've mowed the lawn. I need a shower."
"No, a bath!"
"All right, a bath."
"Yah! I'll just get some clean clothes!"
"Don't forget your rubber duck," I said, grinning as he stuck his tongue out.
While he scampered off back to his house, I got inside. We had a large bath room; whoever built the house must've had a taste for luxury, because there was both a sauna and a jacuzzi, almost big enough for a game of water polo. I twisted the taps, producing a steaming bath that was just a couple of degrees from unendurably hot. Knowing what Cal liked, I turned the sauna on, as well. I stepped out of my clothes, and rinsed off most of the grass in the shower. I was just finished, when the door opened, and Cal stepped in. He put aside the clean change, then took off his clothes, stepping into the shower while I slipped into the jacuzzi tub, soaking myself with hot water. I was already drowsing off when I felt the water stir, and opened my eyes just in time to see Cal sit down on the bench just opposite me. Again, he had a detached look to his face, but I decided to let it rest. He would talk when he felt ready to. Instead, I let myself sink down, off the bench and to the floor of the tub. Only the top of my head was above surface, and I relished in the wet heat, leaning my head onto the edge. Almost out of reflex, Cal did like he used to, and sat down on my lap. With the height difference, he came to sit like me, barely even breaching the surface. Sighing, he leaned against my chest, putting an arm around my shoulder. I could clearly see that he was struggling inside.
"Can I ask something of you?"
"What is it?"
"I have... I mean, I wanna say something, and I don't want you to laugh at me."
"I won't. Promise." I looked into his blue eyes. "I'd never laugh at you."
"Okay." He smiled. "Why can't we be brothers?"
"Brothers? We've got different parents, to start with."
"Yeah, I know, but it's just unfair."
"We're friends, right?"
"It's not enough. I've looked at others who are friends, and they don't love each other like we do."
"Maybe not. How ‘bout best friends?"
"I don't know." He scratched my ears. "It seems so... I don't know... lame!"
"Cal, what we call each other doesn't matter."
"It does to me! Jeremy, I wish I could be your brother." His eyes were almost brimming with tears. "I wish is so much."
"That's something wishes can't make." I hugged him tightly, stroking his back like I always did when he needed comforting. "Would you settle to be my soulbrother?"
"What's that?" Wiping his eyes, he looked at me quizzically, his ears perked. "Soulbrother?"
"It's, like, when two guys who aren't brothers think that they should be. We could decide that our spirits are joined to each other." He nodded eagerly. "That way, we would be even closer than real brothers."
"Yeah! I'd like that! How do you do it?"
"You said you wanted it, then it's done. I wanna be your soulbrother, too. Now, we are."
"Yeah! We are!" Splashing water all over, he tossed himself around my neck. "I love you, Jeremy. My soulbrother."
"Heh. I love you too, Cal." I returned the hug, nuzzling his neck and making him giggle. "I love you too."
With that said, I switched on the jacuzzi, and he screamed as bubbles tickled his sides. Sitting back, he still kept our gazes locked, and I could feel the love emanating from those large, blue orbs, hoping that I could return my love for him the same way. Obviously, I could, because he blushed a bit. Clearly, this was what had bothered him, and now it was all solved, and I could see that he relaxed, feeling much better. Soon the water grew tepid, and I pulled the plug, letting the tub empty itself while we went into the sauna. After the bath, it felt so good to have a proper sweat. I laid down on the lower bench, while he took the upper one. Normally, I would have gone straight to sleep, but I could feel him watching me, making me restless. Opening my eyes, I was met by a happy grin.
"What's on your mind?" I asked.
"You are. My soulbrother."
"You really liked that, eh?"
"Yeah! I was kinda worried you wouldn't know how much I love you."
"I do, kid. And it's good to know. Makes me feel all warm inside." I reached up to scratch behind his ears, smiling at the way his leg started twitching. "Makes me feel like I'm ten feet tall."
"Mmm, don't stop, please. Yeah, I know. When you said you loved me too, I felt like hugging the entire world."
"Well, it's true. I do love you. I've loved you since I first held you, when you were just a couple of days old. You are my soulbrother, Cal."
"Thanks, Jeremy. You always take my worries and make them go away." He let a finger touch my nose, giggling when my whiskers twitched. Then he got up, stepping on my stomach on his way down. "First to the shower!"
"Oomph! Hey, you're cheating!" I mock-chased him through the bathroom, both of us knowing that I could have caught him easily if I'd wanted. Instead, I let him slip into the shower, closing the cubicle door behind him. I tapped the frosted glass door, hearing his giggles from within. "Cal, open up! At least, let me share! Cal? I'm freezing my nuts off!"
"All right." An impish fox-face peered out, opening all the way to let me in. I feigned being frozen stiff, aiming for sympathy. "Poor you. Want me to warm them up for you?"
"What do you... oww!" Laughing, he grabbed at my crotch, squeezing just hard enough to cause pain. Growling, I slapped his bare rump, making him let go. "You pup! That really hurt!"
"Nah, I didn't pinch'em that hard."
"I ought to spank you!"
"Dare you to it! You won't hurt me, your cute li'l soulbrother."
Grinning, I grabbed his waist, holding him steady while I landed a couple of rough slaps to his butt. Gasping, he started to squirm, whimpering as his wetted fur failed to protect him. I felt my palm sting a bit, and decided he'd had enough. As I let him go, he pounced me, and we both fell to the floor, laughing.
"I guess we're even, right?" he said, rubbing his not-too sore behind. "Owie!"
"I guess," I said, cupping my not-too hurting balls. "Ngh!"
"I'm hungry. Do big soulbrothers cook for their kid soulbrothers?"
"This one does." I turned off the water, and we started drying ourselves off, getting into our clothes. "Macaroni and cheese?"
"Potatoes au gratin. You peel."
"I hate kitchen work. Chinese take-out?"
"Then go to China. We've got minced meat, I could make burgers."
"If you peel onions, Cal."
"Damn. Oh, all right. I'll do anything to get your burgers."
"Will you clean my room?"
"Sit on it!" he said, giving me the finger. "Onions are my limit."
"Heh. Right." I turned off the sauna, then we headed for the kitchen. "Let's get to work."
That autumn, I started going to a higher-level school, several miles away from the old one, and from Cal. Like when I first started school, neither of us liked being apart, but we got used to even that. There were still afternoons and evenings, weekends and holidays. Not to mention long, lazy summers. Such a small thing didn't separate the foxters! And, as always, four years later, he made the same transfer, and we became totally inseparable once more.
During that time, we both made a lot of growing. I stood, at seventeen years of age, a proud 5' 9'', knowing I would probably never reach that magical six feet. My voice broke into a baritone, and my stocky built became, with the aid of some exercise, a bit muscular. Cal stayed lean, and it was clear that he would be taller than me. At thirteen, he was already 5' 4'', almost able to look me in the eye. Getting over the initial shock of entering puberty, the only things that nagged him were the fact that his voice was still the boyish soprano it had always been, and that he seemed to be developing an allergy, catching hay-fever every spring.
Once school started that year, Cal became a well-liked member of the gang of students I used to be with, during the days, and as usual, they soon realised why I had rather spent time with my soulbrother than hung out at the local mall with them. I don't think Cal ever met anyone who didn't like him, right away. Now he would hang with us, and we found ourselves leaving our houses far more often than before. Noticing this, our parents got us together, holding a lecture about the risks and dangers of the city night-life, but at the same time, Mr and Mrs Simon said they trusted me to keep their son safe, and I replied by saying I wouldn't do anything that might get him hurt. This calmed down even my mom, the most worry-inclined of them all.
The change in our lives happened later that year. My eighteenth birthday had come and gone, and I was no longer a minor. As far as Cal was concerned, though, I stayed the same. But only on the outside. Inwardly, I had changed during the last year. It had begun after a PE class, when I had been late leaving the shower stalls. Duncan, one of the guys at school who was openly gay, had groped me; nothing much, just fondling my bottom, but it was enough to scare the life out of me. He had apologised, blushing like crazy, saying that he had misinterpreted my signals, and I said it was okay; mistakes happen, think nothing of it. But the occasion stayed in my head, and as I thought about it, I realised that it had turned me on. Searching myself over the coming months, I found that I had no real feelings for girls. Not that way. On my birthday, surrounded by friends and family, I gave myself a secret present; recognition. I admitted to myself that I was gay, and that I couldn't change it. The clouds of worry that had hung over me seemed to vaporise, and I found myself feeling happier than in a long time. Dad asked me about my new-found happiness that evening, but I just said I had been nervous of becoming an adult. He seemed to accept that explanation, even if he didn't quite believe it. I found out much later, when I finally decided to let everybody know, that he had been on to me already back then.
This change in me didn't affect my relation to my soulbrother at all, even though Cal did worry a little about my sudden introversion. After my birthday, though, we were back to normal, spending all available time together; studying, playing or just hanging about. A month passed, and then it was my turn to worry, as Cal seemed upset about something. Just like when we'd had the ‘brothers' talk, he wouldn't share his worries, and I didn't push him. Uncharacteristically, he would withdraw at times, saying he was tired or had to study or something. Finally, after a long and unusually tough school week, he decided to talk to me. Our parents were gone for that weekend, mine to visit my grandparents on dad's side, his to have a second honeymoon, celebrating their fifteenth anniversary. I no longer needed to baby-sit Cal, but we stayed at his place anyway, to keep each other company. Renting a couple of videos, we heated frozen pizzas and made popcorn, then settled down for a junk-food feast. I could easily tell, though, that his heart wasn't in it, and I also knew that he saw my discomfort at this. That was what made him decide to open up, not wanting to see me worried. That sweet streak of his never really went away, or even faded. Rewinding the last video tape, I got up to clear away the table, but he took my hand, the large, blue eyes begging me to sit down again. I did, watching him fidget for a while, before he found his voice.
"Jeremy, can I ask something of you?"
"You know you can."
"I know it sounds silly, and childish, but..."
"Can you promise you won't hate me? No matter what I say? That you'll still be my soulbrother?"
"Cal, such a thing can't be broken. I can't hate you, no matter what."
"I promise. On my life, I promise."
"Thanks." He shifted in the couch, moving closer to me. A smile played across his muzzle, but vanished again as something approaching panic lit up in his eyes. "Jeremy, I..."
"Whoa, take it easy!" I reached around his shoulder, pulling him into an embrace, feeling his entire body stiff with tension. "Cal, you don't have to worry so. Whatever it is, just tell me, and we'll solve it."
"I hope so." He took a deep breath. "Jeremy, would you make love to me?"
"Cal?" My jaw dropped. Had I heard him right? "Cal, no..."
"Cal, I... I can't..."
His voice trailed away, and suddenly he couldn't hold back tears. I hugged him close to me, cradling him as he sobbed. I felt so sorry for him, but what could I do? What he wanted... it just wasn't right. How he'd found out I was gay, I couldn't tell, but it was still wrong. He was practically my kid brother, and so much younger... He cried rivers, now; soaking my shirt, but I couldn't care less about that. So I just sat there, with my arms around him, stroking his back like I'd done so many times before. Crying seemed to relieve some of the tension he felt, and before long, he began to return to his old self. Before long? I glanced at the wall clock, and found that he'd been crying for an hour. I suddenly felt at a loss. It was the first time I had truly rejected him, and at a time when he had bared himself, shown himself at his most vulnerable. I felt that I had hurt him, that I had let down my beloved soulbrother, when he needed me like never before. As his sobs abated, I stopped stroking him, and he pushed himself off me.
"I'm sorry, Jeremy." It was little more than a whisper, and so ragged by emotion it almost made me cry. "I should go..."
"Cal, we're in your house."
"Oh yeah. Well, anyway. Maybe you should go."
"Cal, no. I'm sorry for rejecting you like that. It's just..."
"I understand. We can still be friends, though, right?"
"Please, Jeremy, don't say anything else. Please. I made a fool out of myself, just don't remind me about it, okay?"
"No, Cal, you didn't. It was right of you to ask, otherwise, you would have brought us both misery." He looked up, his eyes red and his cheek fur streaked with tears. How little he seemed, suddenly. And how much I loved him, right then. "I just want to know one thing."
"What made you think that I was... interested?"
"That you were gay? C'mon, you have to be! Aren't you?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I am." I felt dizzy. Here I was, thinking I had my little secret, and... "But how did you know for sure?"
"Don't know, really. I just know. I can tell with people."
"Yes, Cal, I'm gay. I didn't mean to keep it a secret from you, it's just that... I didn't know for sure until..."
"Your birthday. Must've been then."
"So I can't keep anything from you?" I tweaked his nose, making him giggle. "Even if I should want to."
"I guess not. So you're not mad at me?"
"No, not at all. It was just a shock, that's all."
"Jeremy, I've known all my life that I'm gay. I always knew my lifemate would be a guy."
"And you thought you'd practise with me, until you met him?"
"No..." Suddenly, his half-good mood vanished, and he seemed fidgety again. "I wanted him to be you."
"Cal... I don't really know what to say..." This time, he didn't look away, so I kept staring into those innocent, blue eyes. What's wrong, part of me thought, you love him, don't you? Yes, but not like that. Oh? How, then? Like... like a brother. But he isn't your brother! But he's so young... So? Wait for him! Shivering with nervousness, I grabbed his hands. "Cal, I love you. I love you so much. If you want me to be your lifemate, I will."
"Really?" Whooping with joy, he tossed himself around my neck. "I love you, Jeremy! You're the only one I'll ever love."
I held him again, but this time his tears weren't sad ones. When I released him, he closed his eyes, rubbing his nose against mine. I got the message, and kissed him. We'd kissed before, of course; friendly, brotherly kisses, but this was a passionate one. A lovers' kiss. Our lips met, and I felt his mouth open slightly, his tongue seeking its way into mine. I let him in, and we played with each other. I caught myself getting excited, feeling a familiar strain in my groin. He must have felt it, because he stroked the front of my jeans as the kiss ended.
"Cal, please don't?"
"Why not? Don't you want to?"
"Maybe, but I don't want to hurt you. I can't make love to you."
"It would hurt you. We'll wait, Cal. Wait until you've finished growing. Then we'll try."
"I can't wait, Jeremy," he whispered, nuzzling my neck. "I am ready."
"You're just thirteen years old!" I was already beginning to feel my resolve wane. "It's just not right..."
"Says who? Besides, I'm almost fourteen!"
"The law, among other things." Once more, I removed his hand from my crotch. "I might end up in jail."
"Not if we keep it secret."
"For how long? Four years?"
"Yeah. Jeremy, I need this. I need you to take me!"
"I won't!" My stern voice made him wince, and new tears welled up in his eyes. I gave up, but I also decided not to give up. "Cal, I won't mount you, no matter what you say, but we can do other things. While we wait..."
I stroked his back, but didn't stop at that like I used to. Instead, I caressed his buttocks, stroking the base of his bushy tail while I kissed him again.
"There are other way for me to be your lover, Cal."
"Show me," he whispered. "Please, my love, show me."
Cal's room was at its usual tidiness-level Pandemonium, but I didn't care. I had carried the giggling fox cub up the stairs, but now he rushed ahead of me, hastily removing some clothes and comic books from his bed, pulling off the cover as he went, then started re-arranging the pillows, bringing a couple from my bed. I reached for the light switch, but he shook his head.
"Jeremy, I want to look at you."
"Okay." I took off my shirt, and this froze him in mid-fuss. As he sat down, I could see him shiver with excitement. I winked at him "What's the matter, kid? You've seen me naked before."
"Never like this."
That was true. Since we slept together, showered and bathed together, went to the beach together, everything, we had seen each other in the nude hundreds of times, even catching glimpses of morning wood every now and then, thinking nothing of it. Now, though, the thought was suddenly arousing. Shirt gone, I bent down to pull off my socks, all the time feeling his hungry eyes upon me. Next, my trousers, and then I went to sit beside him, wearing only my suddenly too-tight briefs. Eyes bulging, he reached down to touch me, and this time I let him do it, sighing with pleasure as he rubbed me through the cloth.
"Wow, Jeremy," he breathed. "Feels like you're even bigger than last time I saw your hard-on."
"When was that?" I asked through a gasp.
"This summer. You were stroking yourself one morning, and I pretended to be asleep, watching you instead."
"And you liked it?"
"Oh yeah. I did myself then, while you were showering. Can I see it?"
"Not yet, Cal. You're a bit too over-dressed."
Instantly, he ripped his shirt off, exposing his pure-white chest. I ran my fingers through the fluffy fur, gently caressing the nipples as I went by. Leaning forward, I kissed his neck, scraping the skin with my teeth while my hand returned to play with a nipple, rubbing and pinching. He sighed, shuddering as he clasped his arms around me. I licked the underside of his muzzle, and he arched back, dropping down to lie on his back, crying out with pleasure.
"You okay, Cal?"
"Yes," he whispered. "Please don't stop."
I wanted nothing more than to please him, right then. The dreadful tension he had felt, the doubts that had coursed through him, I wanted to exorcise them, to chase them off forever by showing how much I loved him. Pulling the lithe body closer to me, I kissed his ear, licking and nipping, causing a surprised yelp. My hands were on his back, now, tousling his hair and the coarse back fur. Another gasp, as I reached in beneath his waistband, carefully raking my claws against his bottom. I kissed him again, another duel of playing tongues that made him tense. He didn't say anything, but I could tell that he needed release. Needed it bad. I sat up, pulling him with me, then I removed his cotton trousers and briefs in a swift move, feeling his grip on my shoulder tighten as he was exposed to the slightly chilly bedroom air. He was rock-hard, his stiff penis straining for the ceiling. I had seen this sight a couple of times before, but this time was so very different, and I felt my knees getting weak. Surprised at his size, I estimated him to just short of five inches; there, too, he would beat me in time, but I couldn't care less. Instead, I pushed him back down, making him lie with his head on the pillows this time. He tried to guide me towards his throbbing erection, but I kissed him again. A brief kiss, which I then brought downwards, kissing the nape of his neck, then his chest. As I started licking, nipping and sucking at his nipples, I let my hand run up his inner thigh, cupping his balls, fondling them. He was moaning loudly now, lost in pleasure, and he stroked my head so hard his claws drew blood, urging me down. I obeyed, letting my tongue trail through his downy stomach fur until the scent of arousal filled my nostrils. I licked at the base, rubbing my nose at his length, enjoying the whimpers and gasps this caused, then I kissed the tip, being awarded by a spurt of clear fluid. Tasting his pre, I decided this would be a most pleasurable experience, for me as well. It had no real taste, merely a slightly salty hint of what was to come.
"Jeremy, oh Jeremy," he whimpered. "Jeremy, I love you so..."
"I love you too, Cal. Never forget that."
Letting go of his sac, I let a finger rub against his tailhole, causing a moan that was cut short as I took him into my mouth, all the way. With my muzzle wrapped around his length, I suckled lightly, letting my tongue play with it. I pulled off of him, then took him in again, finding a rhythm that he matched with eager thrusts. Feeling it jump and twitch inside my mouth, I sucked harder, and he screamed my name.
As he came, I thrust my finger inside him, just to the first joint, causing a grunt as he started shooting his seed into me. Still young, he didn't come very much, and I easily swallowed it down after letting it roll around on my tongue, making sure I would remember this moment, this taste, for the rest of my life. When he had drained himself, I sucked again while I pulled out my finger from his tailhole, and he sat up with a gasp, clutching my head as if his life depended on it. I let go of his penis, and sat up as well, pulling him into a warm embrace as I guided him down from his peak. When his eyes got their focus back, he aimed them at me, and the love that shone from them was so strong I thought I'd get a sunburn. We kissed deeply, lying down again, just kissing and cuddling while Cal caught his breath enough to find voice.
"Jeremy," he panted, stroking my cheek. "Jeremy, that was the best... the best that's ever happened to me. Thank you so much!"
"You're so welcome, Cal." I licked away a tear that ran down his muzzle. "I loved it, too, just giving you such pleasure."
"Whew! I never came that hard. Never!"
"I could tell you liked it," I said, reaching up to touch my scalp, returning a hand matted with blood. "Got a little carried away."
"Oh no, Jeremy! I've hurt you!"
"Relax, it's not bad. Most of it is sweat."
"Jeremy, I'm so sorry!" He hugged me tight. "I didn't mean to! I love you, I don't ever wanna hurt you!"
"I know." I returned the hug, stroking his back. "Heat of passion, kid. Don't worry."
I stood up, and took off my briefs, watching him as he began breathing faster, licking his lips. It was the kind of eagerness that he used to show on his birthdays, or at Christmas; an jittery impatience, the anticipation of what was to come. Me, I thought, giggling as he pulled at my tail, trying to make me lie down. Complying, I hardly had time to feel the pillows against the back of my neck, before he clasped his hand around my maleness, gently stroking me. Our eyes met, and he grinned wickedly as he kissed my lips, pulling away just as I started to respond. Before I knew it, I felt his tongue against the tip of my rigid member, licking eagerly at the gathered pre. I shut my eyes tightly as he took me in his muzzle, closing his lips around the tip as he sucked hard. Now began a multi-layered pleasure, that had me seeing stars. I was thoroughly stimulated, pleased in a way I had never experienced before, feeling his soft lips and his rapid tongue working me over, eager to return what I had just given him. On the other hand, it was Cal. My best friend, my soulbrother. There was so much love in the act it brought tears to my eyes, making the act itself, the sex, something of way less importance. What mattered, more than anything, was the closeness between us right then. I put my hands on his head, tousling his hair with one hand, while the other caressed his face and his muzzle. He murred as he kept on moving his head up and down, the vibrating sound increasing my pleasure even further, while I kept still, mustering all my will-power to keep from thrusting into him. Climbing towards my peak, my mountain of lust, I kept whispering his name, over and over again, answered by the consistent murring. As I felt my orgasm approaching, I removed my hands from his head.
"Cal, I'm almost there..."
Pulling his head back, he used his hand to stroke me, the soft, furry paw quickly bringing me over the edge. With a wordless shout, I came; strong, almost painfully strong jets of semen covering his hand and my stomach. I was lost; so caught in a blissful orgasm I could hardly breathe. Through a haze I saw Cal's blue eyes and his grinning muzzle, covering my entire world. He nuzzled me, whispering little bits of loving nonsense into my ear as he stroked my hair, while I regained control of my thoughts, the tension leaving my body with the last trickle of my seed. I pulled him closer, kissing him passionately as my orgasm ebbed out. When we broke apart, he smiled at me, taking a quick lick at his sticky fingers. He winced slightly at the taste, but still proceeded to clean himself off. I grabbed a box of tissues from the bedside table, and got rid of most of what had landed on my stomach.
"You don't have to lick it up, Cal."
"I want to. It's not so bad, once you've tasted it."
"I know, believe me." I licked my lips, and he blushed, grinning impishly. "It's really good, in fact. Thank you, Cal."
"You liked it?" He perked his ears. "Did I do well?"
"I loved it. It was beyond good. Better than perfect." I kissed his cheek. "Because it was you, who did it."
"Oh, Jeremy!" He kissed me back, lying down on top of me, stroking my hair. "I love you so much! It means the world to me, to hear that I made you feel good."
"You did, my love, you did."
I yawned widely, completely spent, and I turned to lie on my side, facing Cal. Giggling, he got out of bed, turning out the lights. Already drowsing off, I felt him climb back, pulling the blankets over us as he lied down next to me, snuggling up to me. I hugged him tighter, and he laid his arms around me. Kissing each other good night, we fell asleep in each other's arms.
Morning was well on its way to noon when I woke up, a bit puzzled at first since I didn't really remember why I was so tired. Then the memories returned, and I groaned slightly, part of me repulsed at what I'd done. But I knocked those feelings back. It had been an act of love, nothing else. I reached out to wake Cal up, but the bed next to me was empty, the spot where he had lain cold. There were no sounds from the bathroom, and the TV seemed to be off downstairs. Whatever had pulled him up early hadn't been Saturday morning cartoons, then. I chuckled at the thought, knowing fully well how embarrassed he really was over still watching kids' shows. Oh well, I decided to go and look for him, I'd just lean back another minute or two. I had almost fallen asleep again, when the door opened, and Cal came in, carrying a tray. Sensitive fox nose kicking in, I could smell bacon, fried eggs, toast and strawberry jelly, as well as coffee and tea. He giggled as he watched my twitching nose, and went to put the tray down on the bedside table, kicking away a couple of books and toys first. Leaning over, I saw that I'd been right. Suddenly, I felt very hungry. Cal sat down on the bed next to me, looking at me expectantly.
"You've had a busy morning," I said, licking my lips as I snatched a strip of bacon. "Mmm, delicious!"
"Really?" His ears perked, and his muzzle cracked into a happy grin. "I don't cook much..."
"Well, you could've fooled me. This is great."
I sat up, not really caring that the blanket I was covered with slipped off me. For a second, his gaze wandered, but soon he was looking into my eyes again. Clearly, he had made breakfast for both of us, so I moved the table to stand between us. We ate in silence, finishing off the lot, then leaning back with a mug each. Cal knew, as always, what I liked, so he had made the coffee just as stomach-rotting strong as I wanted it. He was having the tea, and we sat there, perfectly contented with the world. I gulped down the last, putting the mug back on the tray, and he put his tea mug away, glancing at me shyly.
"What's on your mind, kid?"
"Don't call me that, please. Jeremy? Did you cry last night?" He traced the streaked fur on my cheeks. "I didn't do anything wrong, did I?"
"No. No, you didn't, Cal. You were perfect. It's just... I felt so perfectly happy, I couldn't keep my tears back."
"So you had happy tears?"
"The best kind. It was your love that made me happy."
"I'm so relieved!" he said, hugging me. "I was afraid I'd made a mistake."
"I love you, Cal." I kissed his nose. "Thanks for breakfast, by the way."
"Oh, nothing! You'll get to do the dishes, if I can get your lazy butt out of bed."
"You can't," I laid back down, pulling the blanket over me. "Wake me up when you've made lunch."
"Jeremy, no! Don't go to sleep!" I closed my eyes, feeling him shake me and jump up and down on the bed. "Wake up!"
"Relax, Cal, I am awake." I yanked his tail, making him yelp. "Just fooling around."
"Jeremy?" He lied down beside me, touching my face. "Did you really, really mean you'll be my lifemate?"
"I did. Cal, it can't be any other way! I mean, who would ever get between us? Separate the foxters? It just can't be done."
"No," he agreed, smiling, "it can't be done. I think I'll get happy tears any minute, too."
"Then here's my shoulder. Whenever you need one to cry on, my love."
"Mmm," he murred, snuggling closer. "I can't hear that enough. Jeremy, I wish we could get married."
"Know any church that'll wed guys?" He giggled, shaking his head. "Me neither. But you're right, lifemates just doesn't cover it."
"What do you mean?"
"Like when you wanted to become my brother. There aren't always strong enough ways to show love."
"Lifemates will do, Jeremy, as long as it means you'll be with me."
"We could be soulmates."
"Yeah, but stronger. Soulmate is the one you know is the other half of you. The one you need to be whole, the one you can't ever break apart with. When you're so close there's no telling where one ends and the other starts."
"Yeah! I want to be your soulmate, Jeremy. I won't break apart with you, ever! I promise! Is it like being soulbrothers, you just decide it?"
"No, Cal, it can't be decided. No one can say ‘I will be your soulmate'."
"It's something you just know. Something that can't be forced, and that can't be broken."
"But I know it! Inside my heart, I know that you are my soulmate, Jeremy!"
"Then it is so." I pulled him closer, whispering into his ear as I stroked his back. "My heart calls to you, Cal. It cries, ‘be with me!'. My soulbrother, soulmate."
He made a slightly choking sound, then kissed me, furiously. I did my best to respond, almost losing myself in his tight embrace. We stayed like that forever, breaking the kiss a couple of minutes later. We were both crying, now, happy tears flowing down our faces. Sitting up in bed, Cal took his shirt off, while I pulled down his shorts. He grinned, blushing slightly while I lifted the blanket enough for him to slip in. Cuddling up tight to each other, we kissed again, soon letting our hands roam freely all over each other.
* * * * * *
I lay down my pencil, closing the notebook as Cal enters the room. Outside, someone has started playing a CD with a fast drum'n'bass beat, and I can hear the sounds of dancing, combined with happy chattering and laughter. He leans down over me, playfully nuzzling my hair while he tries to snatch the book from me.
"What are you writing, love?"
"Just a tale of love and romance. With a little sex."
"Ooh, good parts, you mean! Can I read it?"
"Later, Cal. Besides, you already know how it ends."
"Yup. I'm writing the story about us."
"That I've gotta read! I love happymushy endings!"
"Later." Slapping at his insistent hand, I finally manage to push him away. "Tonight, maybe."
"C'mon out, now, Jeremy! You'll miss the fun!"
"Don't tempt me..."
"Ah, don't be a sourpuss! I want you out there within a minute. Wipe your eyes, first."
"You've been crying, love."
Before I can reply, he's gone. I touch my cheeks, and I can feel that he's right. Well, our story always does that to me. The unbridled, innocent love we had, and still have... I put the notebook away, then set myself straight, brushing my cheek fur into place. If I had been able to decide, I would've spent my birthday far away, just Cal and me; sun-bathing, swimming in the ocean, some steaming sex in the hotel room. But oh no! He throws together the grandmother of all parties, inviting family and friends and every half-distant acquaintance, all but dragging people in off the street. Right, Cal, just shout out to the world that I've scored the big five-oh! Still, I can't help loving him. No matter how much of a sneaky bastard he is. Besides, as always, it's only four years until he's there, too. Gives me plenty of time to think up something extraordinarily devious.