Date: Sat, 21 Apr 2012 06:28:55 +0100
From: Micheal Mikey <michealwitluv@gmail.com>
Subject: The Game He Lost 10

The Truth

	"Where was this one taken?" Abe asked as he pointed to the next
photograph on the page.

	"We were on holiday in Greece last spring. We stayed at my aunt's
villa on the Agenda." Nneka stroked a fingertip along the line of surf in
the foreground of the picture. "She and my uncle never had children of
their own so they spoil all their grandnephews and nieces outrageously."

	Nneka's aunt and uncle? Abe though. That would the President and
the first lady of Nigeria. Abe paused for a moment to soak that in, and
then focused on the two boys with black hair by the water's edge. "What
were Matthew and Samson looking at? They seem very interested."

	"It was a small starfish that had been stranded by the tide. Samson
wanted to play with it, but Matthew insisted on putting it back in the
sea."

     "What a compassionate child. You must be very proud of him."

	"Yes, he already show signs of developing his father's sense of
justice." Nneka pulled back her hand and clenched it into a fist. "He
wouldn't even hold a starfish against its will."

Abe noticed a tremor in Nneka's hands. Matthew's mother was barely holding
on – she didn't appear to have slept at all since Abe had met her two
days ago. Her hair was dull and lifeless, pulled back in a loose braid and
the lines of strain around her mouth had deepened.

 Yet as soon as Abe had asked to see pictures of Matthew, Nneka's gaze had
sparked with animation. She had needed to talk about her son. It was a
comfortably normal activity, and it was helping Nneka to balance her worry
and hope.

     Once Samson had been tucked in to his bedroom for his afternoon nap,
Abe and Nneka had made themselves comfortable on the blue-velvet
upholstered sofa in the sitting room of the ambassador's quarters. They
drank palm wine imported from Nigeria. The white liquid tasted much better
than it smelled. Abe and Nneka found so much to talk about; it was hard to
believe they were from such different backgrounds. It was also hard to
believe that they had only just met.

	Then again, Abe had known Finn only a short while. A crisis tended
to forge relationships that wouldn't have been possible under the
restraints that were present in normal life. It engendered a special kind
of intimacy.

	Abe glanced across the room where Finn and the ambassador were
conversing quietly about politics. He had been glad that Finn had insisted
on escorting him. It had been difficult at first to face the Ibrus after
yesterday's fiasco at the ransom drop, so he had been grateful for Finn's
solid presence at his side.

That had been happening a lot lately. Only, it was more than gratitude he
felt for Finn. He was getting far too accustomed to having Finn at his
side. Was that just because of the situation? Maybe. But Finn would be the
same person once the mission was over.

 	And that was the problem, wasn't it? No matter how fascinating he
found Finn, and how... necessary Finn was becoming to him, Finn was still a
man who lived for the moment and who thrived on the excitement of a
dangerous profession. He wasn't the kind of stable, sensible man he would
want to plan a future with...

Abe reined in his thoughts with a jerk. Plan a future? From what the
commander had said this morning, Boko Haram were intending to finish this
standoff by Friday... if the raid on their Baltimore base didn't end it
sooner. Four days at the most and this mission would be over. Finn and the
team from the Nighthawks would pack up their tent and melt back into the
shadows to await the next crisis.

	And little Matthew's fate would be decided. One way, or another.

	Abe put the photo album on the low table in front of them and
covered Nneka's hands with his. "You all love him very much."

 "He is part of us."

 "Children know when they are loved. It gives them strength."

 "That is what I must believe," Nneka whispered.

 "Most of my students are the same age as Matthew. Does he like school?"

"He is enrolled at a private school with children of other diplomats, and
he adores it. His mind is like a sponge. Until we came to America, he had a
succession of tutors and he missed the stimulation of being around other
children his age. The educational system in my country is poor. The
division between the privileged class and the common citizen is too
great. It breeds unrest."

 "You hope to change that with proper distribution of wealth."

"Yes, it is the only chance for the future. There must be proper
distribution of wealth to increase the standard of living. All Nigerian
children deserve the opportunity to pursue their dreams."

"After Matthew comes home, would you consider asking someone from the
embassy to visit my classroom? I'd like my students to learn more about
your country. Even though I used it as an excuse for coming here, I've
decided to have them really do a project on Nigeria. I think it is
important for them to learn that no matter what language we speak, or where
we come from, we all want the same thing."

     Nneka turned to face Abe. For the first time that afternoon, she
smiled. "Thank you, Abe. I will speak to my husband about this. We would be
please to honor you request."

Abe released Nneka's hand and got to his feet. "Thanks for the wine." He
said.

Before he could move away, Nneka stood up and gave him a quick hug, then
stepped back and straightened her spine regally, a touching echo of the
nobility from which she was descended. "No, it is I who should thank you,
Abraham Locke. I will never forget your kindness."

Abe started to reply, and then caught sight of Finn's face. Finn was
worried. It took him a moment to realize it was about him.

How many times had Finn cautioned him about not getting too personally
involved? He didn't care. Caution didn't seem to have much effect on his
feelings lately.

There was a brisk knock on the door. Finn's expression shuttered. He became
all business, holding up his palm to the ambassador as he crossed the
room. "I thought you told your assistant you didn't want to be disturbed,"
he said.

Anselm pursed his lips. "That is what I told him, but he often takes it
upon himself to amend my orders."

Yet again, Abe was surprised at how swiftly and silently Finn could move,
for a large man. He was at the door before the ambassador reached it. He
positioned himself to the left, his weight on the balls of his feet, his
arms relaxed at his sides. The way he stood reminded Abe of the stance he
had adopted the night he had fought off the terrorists in his apartment. He
gestured for Anslem to open the door.

The round, heavy-eye browed Ibrahim stood on the threshold. He held a
padded envelope. "Your Excellency, this just arrived for you."

"I appreciate your efforts, Ibrahim, but you can leave the mail in my
office."

     "Yes, Mr. Ambassador, I have already delivered the day's mail to your
desk. This came by special messenger."

 At a nod from Finn, Anslem took the envelope, dismissed his assistant and
closed the door.

 "Better let me take a look at that first, sir," Finn side, holding out his
hand.

"It is probably the documents I had requested from your government's State
Department."

"There's no official seal."

Anslem started. He looked at the envelope more closely. "Ibrahim should
have mentioned that."

Finn took the envelope from the ambassador by one corner and carried it to
the window. He held it up to the light and studied it carefully, then set
it down on the table and bent over to inspect the glued flap. "Does your
embassy security normally screen your correspondence?"

"Yes, of course. Since the bombing at the Aso Rock, they have been trained
to intercept anything suspicious."

Nneka moved forward, and then stopped. "What is it? Do you think that is a
bomb? We should evacuate Samson."

 "I'll call the guards," the ambassador said.

 "Hang on," Finn continued to study it, and then slipped his index finger
carefully beneath the flap. He ran it under the edge slowly and peeled it
back, then straightened up and left it where it was. "It seems clear. I
didn't mean to alarm you."

"Sergeant O'Brian, we have been living in a state of alarm for what seems
like forever," Anslem said, walking over to pick up the envelope. "You
could not make it worse."

"My husband is right." Nneka's smile returned. "Seeing the both of you has
made it better. Thank you for visiting."

 "Yes, it was good to speak freely." Anslem opened the envelope and glanced
inside. His expression froze. He looked at Finn, and then addressed his
wife. "Nneka, I think I heard Samson call. Why don't you check on him?"

"Anslem, what is it?"

"Please, Nneka." His voice grew weak. "Just do as I say."

Nneka's face went blank. She didn't move. "Anslem? You must tell me. Not
knowing is worse."

The ambassador reached into the envelope and withdrew his hand. On his palm
lay pieces of short curly black hair.

Abe felt his stomach roll. At the same time, from the corner of his eyes,
he saw Nneka's legs give out. He lunged for her but Finn was there before
Nneka could fall. Finn caught her by the waist to hold her upright.

 "It's Matthew's," Nneka cried. "Isn't it, Anslem? It's Mat's hair."

 "Yes. I think so."

Nneka clawed at Finn's arms to free herself and stumbled to her
husband. "The beasts. My God. What did they do to him?"

"It's only hair, my heart." Anslem stroked the hairs with his fingertip,
his hand trembling. "It was cut. It would not have hurt. He is a brave
boy. It will grow back."

As the Ibrus spoke, Finn took a cell phone from his pocket, flipped it open
and pouched in a number. "It's O'Brian," he said, his voice low and
hard. "Boko Haram has made contact. They didn't use the phone this time."

Abe listened as Finn did what had to be done, reporting the development to
his team and setting the people who were covering the embassy into motion
to track down the person who had delivered the envelope. Although Finn kept
his gaze on the Ibrus while he spoke, he put his free arm around Abe's
shoulders and pulled him to his side. "Is there anything else,
Mr. Ambassador? He asked. "Some kind of written message?"

"One moment." Anslem placed the hair in his wife's hands, careful not to
lose a single strand. He reached into the envelope once more.

The words on the piece of white paper that he pulled out were written in
black marker. Abe squinted but couldn't decipher the scrawl. He realized it
had to be written in whatever Nigerian language that the ambassador spoke.

Nneka looked at the words and whimpered, cradling the lock of Matthew's
hair to his chest.

Anslem clenched his teeth so tightly the tendons stood out in his neck. His
eyes blazed as he looked at Finn.

"Sir?" Finn prodded. "I need to alert the team."

The ambassador shifted his gaze to Abe. "It says you are to deliver forty
million dollars next time or they will continue to return Matthew in
pieces."

Abe felt Finn's arm tighten on his shoulders. His part in this wasn't
over. Ghost had guessed right. He had to carry the ransom again, and he had
to do it right or the rest of Matthew would be... Oh, God! What had they
used to cut his hair? How had they held him still to do it? And what would
they cut off next?

Finn's voice was hard as he relayed the information and closed the
phone. "We'll obtain the additional funds and keep you informed of our
progress, sir. I'll need to take that note and the envelope to be
analyzed."

"Whatever you have to do," he said. His voice caught. "Do
it. Anything. Whatever means you need, use them."

"We will." Finn gave Abe a firm squeeze, and then stepped forward to take
the items from Anslem.

"Perhaps you don't understand me." the ambassador held himself so tightly,
he was shaking. "As President Goodluck's representative in your country, I
am authorizing you to take any measures necessary against the citizens of
Nigeria who are perpetrating this crime. There will be a diplomatic
incident if these animals do not live to be extradited."

Finn met his gaze squarely. "Believe me. I do understand, sir. We are
soldiers, not policemen. We don't give Miranda warnings during battle."

"Good." The ambassador thrust the envelope at Finn.

 Before Finn could take it, something small and white rolled out and
bounced to the carpet at his feet.

Nneka screamed.

Abe looked down.

It was a tooth.

~~~~~~~~~~

     Abe walked the length of the warehouse, his footsteps dropping like
pebbles into the cavernous silence. His eyes were well adjusted to the
darkness now. In the starlight that streamed through the window near the
roof Abe could see glints from the row of parked vehicles to his left. To
his right, the tent's canvas walls gleamed faintly, the thick fabric
trapping most of the light inside. A shadow loomed near the door. That
would be Specialist Gonzales who was taking his turn on watch. Abe reached
the wall, pivoted and started back the way he had come.

So far he had done at least a dozen circuits of the warehouse. He wasn't a
jogger. He didn't belong to a health club. The exercise he got during the
course of a normally hectic day at Cherry Hill School had always been
enough to work off his energy.

But nothing seemed to help now. His pulse was throbbing in his ears, yet he
hadn't made a dent in the restlessness that gnawed at him.

How could Finn and the rest of the team deal with this? How could they
choose to do this kind of thing for a living? He had been warned more than
once about getting personally involved. Now he understood why.

He should have been prepared. He had read reports in the news almost daily
of the cruelty that was done around the world in the name of some cause or
other. He'd also read about the soldiers and peacekeepers who were sent to
the trouble spots to restore order. He had never actually grasped the kind
of inhumanity they faced.

Abe understood Anslem Ibru's rage. He also understood the matter-of-fact
way that Finn handled it. He had new respect for the strength it took Finn
to be a soldier. Finn, Sandra, Rafe, Aston, Jack and the other men he had
come to know never lost sight of their objective. Their priority was always
the mission.

And he was right back in the middle of it.

The tome of his footsteps changed, as if they had developed a double
echo. He realized he was no longer alone. He glanced over his shoulder and
wasn't surprised to see Finn approaching.

Finn always seemed to be there when he needed him, even before he realized
he needed him.

Finn matched his stride to Abe's. "What are you doing, Abe? I thought you
were going for a shower."

"I changed my mind. I decided I need exercise more."

Finn walked a few steps in silence. "When I get the chance, I usually go a
few rounds with a punching bag in the gym."

"What?"

"When we are out in the field and that isn't possible, I do
calisthenics. Sometimes I spread out my bedroll and do pushups. Rafe cleans
the guns. Sandra does Tai Chi."

"Why?"

"To work off the stress."

"That's not going to solve anything. It won't bring Matthew home safely."

"I'm not talking about solving anything, I'm talking about surviving. The
only thing within your control is yourself. That's where you have to
start."

Abe reflected on his words as they maneuvered around some broken wooden
skids that lay in heap on the warehouse floor. "I know you are
right. That's one of my faults, trying to control things that I can't. I
make all these lines and follow all these schedules, but I'm fooling
myself. Nothing is really in my control."

"It's not your fault, Abe. The way you refuse to compromise your principles
is one your strengths. It was a courageous thing you did by going to see
the Ibrus today."

"I wish I could have done more, and at the same time I wish I had followed
your advice and hadn't been there." He ran his hand over his head. He was
surprised to notice that his skin was damp with sweat. He had felt chilled
since they had returned from the embassy. "And I wish I hadn't been
mentioned in that note. That's not very courageous."

"Do you remember what the ambassador said about bravery the first time we
saw him?"

"I'm not sure."

"He said that bravery is continuing to do what you must even when your
heart is crying to deny the horror."

Yes, that was precisely what Anslem Ibru had said, Abe thought. Finn had
recalled his exact words. That didn't surprise him any more than Finn
showing up here in the first place had surprised him. He had already
figured out that Finn's easy going manner was a sham.

"Now that we have found the Boko Haram base, there is a good chance we will
get this wrapped up before the next ransom drop is set," Finn said. "You
won't need to do anything."

"That's not why I had to come out for a walk, Finn."

"I know." Finn walked a few paces in silence, and then spoke gently, going
straight to the heart of Abe's distress. "Jack studied the tooth, Abe. He
is positive that it was only a baby tooth."

Abe's breath hitched. He wasn't wearing running shoes. He was still dressed
in the sweater and pants he had worn to the embassy. He didn't care. He
began to jog.

Finn lengthened his strides. "The root was small and there was very little
blood."

Abe increased his pace.

Finn matched him effortlessly. "Those marks from the pliers that you saw on
it weren't dep. It's possible the tooth could have been loose to start
with."

Abe broke into an all-out run.

Finn caught up to him. He wasn't even breathing hard. "Jack does
marathons. For stress. Never saw the appeal of it myself, but if you want
to give it a try, I'm game."

Abe could barely hear Finn over the rush of his own pulse and the strain of
his breathing.

"Watch out for the cables," Finn said.

Abe saw the dark mass of electric cords that snaked across the floor in his
path. He hopped over them and kept going.

"Broken crate to your right. Back wall coming up fast."

Abe changed direction. His shoes slipped. He thrust out his hands to break
the fall.

Finn grabbed him from behind before he could hit the floor. With his arms
around Abe's waist, Finn braced his feet and skidded several yards across
the cement. The momentum carried them to the warehouse wall. Finn twisted
around before they crashed into it, cushioning Abe with his body and taking
the brunt of the impact on his shoulder.

A flashlight winked on near the opposite side of the building. Hurried
footsteps approached as the beam sliced through the gloom towards them.

"It's all right, Gonzales," Finn called.

The steps halted. "Braveheart? Is Abe with you?"

"Yeah. Everything is fine. I tripped, that's all."

The beam played over them briefly, and then flickered out. Gonzales
returned to his post by the door.

Finn set Abe on his feet and turned him to face him. "Are you okay?"

Abe's lungs heaved. He put his hands on his thighs and leaned over,
struggling to catch his breath.

Finn rubbed his back. "That is it. Slow and easy."

"I can't do this."

"Sure, you can. Do you need to sit down?"

"No, I mean I can't do this." Abe straightened up. "Finn, I want to go
home."

Finn looked at him carefully. "I don't think you mean that, Abe."

"Yes, I do! This isn't my life. In my world, when a child loses a tooth he
puts it under his pillow and dreams about the money the tooth fairy will
leave for him in the morning. I was at my sister's house last month when
Joshua lost his first baby tooth. He's Martha's and Bourne's youngest. Josh
was so proud. I have pictures of his grin. He said he had a window in his
mouth."

Finn didn't say anything, he let Abe talk. He seemed to know that is what
Abe needed.

"Martha has saved all of Bourne Jr's baby teeth. He is their oldest. She
has a lock of hair, too, from his very first haircut. It's dark brown like
his father's. She tied it with a blue ribbon..." Abe clenched his jaw. He
felt his eyes heat but he refused to cry. He suspected he was getting
beyond tears. "It isn't right, Finn. It isn't fair."

"No, it isn't."

"Seeing Matthew's hair in that envelope, seeing his tooth on the floor... I
keep picturing what those men did, and what they might do... Damn it, I
can't handle this."

"You can. You are."

"No, I thought I could, but I am a fraud. I went to see the Ibrus to offer
them my friendship. I thought emotional support was what they needed,
because that is what I know how to give, but what good is that against
monsters who would pull a seven year olds tooth?"

"You were good for them. You held yourself together like a veteran."

"It was horrible. It was obscene."

"Yes, and you were brave. As the ambassador would say, you did what you had
to do. You kept the horror inside. Now it has to come out." Finn opened his
arms. "Come here, Abe."

Abe stepped into Finn's embrace without a second thought. He felt Finn's
strength surround him, and he turned his face to Finn's chest. He probably
should have been worried over how much he needed Finn's embrace... but he
needed it too much to be worried."

"You know I'll take you home if you ask," Finn said. "You don't have to go
through with this. You are a civilian who's here voluntarily. Ghost can't
make you participate in the next ransom drop against your will."

"I know," Abe murmured.

"And like I said, chances are good it won't go that far. We don't want to
put you in danger." Finn laid his cheek against Abe's head, his breath
heating Abe's hair. "But you don't really want to go home yet, do you?"

Abe shut his eyes and drew in fin's scent. "No."

"I didn't think so. You are not a quitter. Once you commit to something,
you don't back out. I admire that."

How could someone who was so wrong for him know how to say the right thing?
Friends he had had for years didn't know him as well as Finn seemed to.

Of course he didn't want to home. Not really. How ever difficult this was,
it would be harder to walk out. He would see this through to the end no
matter what. "Do you think Matthew is still alive?"

Finn stroked Abe's back. "Yes."

"This latest... message from Boko Haram. It's the first time they haven't
used the phone. What does that mean?"

"They are upping the ante. They are making it clear that this will be their
last gambit."

"Do you think your team will save Matt?"

Finn's hand stilled. "We'll do our damnedest best."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For not lying."

"You are welcome."

Abe splayed his fingers over Abe's chest and lifted his head. "Finn, could
you promise me something?"

Finn hesitated. "What?"

"You started out with so many lies. Promise you'll always tell me the
truth."

"You may not like what you hear."

"I know."

Finn slid his hand upward beneath Abe's hair and cupped the back of his
head. "The truth about the mission or about everything, Abe?"

Abe's pulse hadn't slowed down from his run. Blood throbbed heavily through
his veins. He was no longer cold. Warmth flowed from Finn's body to
his. The restlessness that had brought him out here shifted to a different
level. He moistened his lips. "Everything."

Finn's fingers tangled in Abe's hair. He moved his legs apart and drew Abe
more tightly to the front of his body. He lowered his head to bring his
lips next to his ear. "I know another activity that's good for relieving
stress, Abe."

Finn's tone made Abe's thigh tingle. There had to be something wrong with
him. How could he feel...aroused at a time like this?

Finn answered his question with his next words. "It's got something to do
with the effects of adrenaline." His teeth grazed Abe's ear lobe. "The
fight or flight response. When your heart is pumping heard and your muscles
are primed for action, it's only a small step to switch all that energy
towards sex."

Abe moved his hand over Finn's heart. The racing beat matched his own. He
ran his fingers downward. Through his shirt, Abe traced the washboard
ridges of his abdomen. He felt Finn's muscles tense and he explored the
hardened contours.

"It's about survival, too," Finn murmured. He drew a slow line down the
side of Abe' neck with the tip of his tongue. "Lust is a primitive
emotion. It's right up there with anger and fear."

Abe tipped his head back, exposing his throat to Finn's mouth.

"Lust can let you shut down your brain." Finn bent down to press his lips
to the sensitive skin at the base of his throat. "It's the ultimate way of
living in the moment and forgetting everything that is happening around
you."

Finn was right, Abe thought. The images that had tormented him since Anslem
had opened that envelope were fading beneath a warm haze of sensation. He
wanted to seize the moment and make it last. He didn't want to think, he
wanted to feel. He found the buttons on the front of Finn's shirt, wrenched
them open and slid his hand inside.

Finn's skin was hot and smooth where it stretched over his ribs. Abe ran
his hands up his chest, feeling the crisp tickle of hair on his palm. He
spread his fingers, wanting to absorb as much sensation as fast as he
could.

Finn caught his wrists to gold his hands still. "Damn, that feels good."

"Then why are you stopping me?"

Finn spun around, backing Abe against the warehouse wall. His voice was a
low whisper. "Do you still want me to be honest?"

Shadows hid his face. He was a dark silhouette looming over Abe. Tall and
insistent. He thrilled Abe on a level he hadn't know for a long
time. "Yes," Abe said.

"A quick fumble in the corner isn't going to be enough for either of us,
Abe." Finn pressed his wrists to the wall above Abe's head. "After going
without for eight years, you deserve more than that. I want to alone with
you so we can do this right. I want to be someplace where I can peel off
every stitch of your clothes and see you naked."

Abe's legs shook. He swayed, but Finn's grip on his wrists held him
upright. Finn wasn't touching him anywhere else, yet the mere thought of
him doing what he said made Abe's loins ache.

Finn dipped his head an inhaled deeply. "I want to smell the apple and
cranberry scent of your skin when it gets slick with sweat of my body
sliding over yours."

Abe was having trouble breathing. "Finn..."

"Like that. I want to hear you call my name." he stepped close. There was a
mere brush of fabric on fabric. It seared Abe from his neck to his
knees. "On a bed. On the floor. Against the wall. I want to fill you up and
feel your tremble around me."

Solid heat blossomed in his legs. He arched toward Finn.

A tremor shook Finn's frame. His breathing was harsh and rapid. Yet he
didn't take the final step that would bring him into contact with Abe. "It
would be lust, Abe. Sex. That's all. Two people enjoying a physical
attraction."

Abe wanted to weep. "No, don't say that."

"I won't lie." Finn dropped his forehead against Abe's. "I respect you too
much to lie about this, Abe. You are drawn me to you since the first moment
I saw you at the museum. It's the way you smile as if you know a
secret. The quick way you walk, the way your hair curls. Hell, I even like
your freckles. I can't explain it. I want you."

Why was everything so confusing? Abe was sure he knew what he wanted. He
had been positive it wasn't this. He had vowed to hold out for love.

In eight years he had had no trouble keeping his vow. He had the normal
urges of a healthy man, but he hadn't met any man who drew him strongly
enough to tempt him. Until now.

Why was that?

He impressed himself in his schedules, his family and the safe little world
of Cherry Hill School, so he seldom ran into handsome, exciting men like
Stuart. He certainly never encountered virile, testosterone-charged men
like Finn and the soldiers of the Nighthawks. Finn had said that he
wouldn't have been happy with someone like sensible Peter Hedgeworth. Could
he be right? Was it possible that he had subconsciously structured his life
so he could avoid meeting men who might touch his heart?

Finn lowered his arms to his sides and released Abe's wrists. "I shouldn't
have started something we could not finish. I'm sorry, Abe."

Abe wasn't sure why he didn't step around Finn and run for the safety of
the tent. Instead, he moved closer, slid his arms around Finn's waist and
hugged him. "Don't be sorry, Finn. It worked."

"It did?"

"It was better than running." Abe leaned back to look at him. He still
couldn't see Finn's face. But then, Finn's looks had already ceased to
matter. "You make me feel as if I can do practically anything."

"You can, Abe. You are stronger than you think."

"I won't ask to go home again until I've seen this through."

Finn pressed a kiss to his forehead and folded Abe into his arms. He didn't
ask whether Abe had been talking about the mission or about what was
happening between them. It was just as well. Abe wasn't ready for that much
honesty.