A Brother’s Secret
© The author reserves all rights to this work.
This story is of an adult nature. It is not intended for minors nor for those whose law in their land forbids them to read this material.
This story is entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people is purely coincidental and unintentional.
NB: Words found between asterisks (*) refer to words exchanged in psychic or telepathic communication.
Date: 20 December 2674, Sunday
“Thank you for being here with me, Captain Brown. You didn’t have to, you know?” Mark Keith said to Jorg. Normal humans knew Jorg only as Captain Michael Brown, a man in his late thirties.
“It was my pleasure, Mark. After all, I’m an only child. You’re kinda like my kid brother and to see the kid brother of my kid brother is something I don’t do every day,” Jorg replied with a grin.
“Thanks Captain,” said Mark. Jorg could sense anxiety from this twenty-two year old man. Reaching into the shuttle with his mind, Jorg located Matthew. Matthew Keith was a very insecure teenager. Three years before, doctors had discovered that the elder Mr. Keith could not have fathered him. A nasty divorce resulted when Mr. Keith accused his wife of infidelity and custody of Matthew was given to Mrs. Keith. Matthew blamed himself for the break-up of his parents. His behaviour became erratic and had gotten into trouble with the school authorities. Matters turned for the worse when his mother found out that she could not have been his mother as well. This caused Matthew to be more alienated from the woman whom he had known to be his mother. He attempted suicide and was sent to a state institution for treatment. Mark, his elder brother, visited him several times. Mark made a huge impression on Matthew. Mark had said that no matter what the tests showed, Matthew would always be the brother he had and loved. Mark was now keeping a promise he made to Matthew. Once Matthew was pronounced rehabilitated, Mark would get him to live with him.
Matthew smiled when he saw Mark.
“Hi Matt!” Mark greeted cheerfully.
“Hi Mark,” Matthew said.
“This is Captain Brown. He’s the captain of the ship I working on.”
Matthew immediately turned sullen. Matthew had green eyes but they turned almost grey when he changed his mood.
“Hi Matt,” Jorg said but Matthew remained silent. After some moments of awkward silence, Jorg said “Come, let’s get to the vehicle.”
Jorg tried to sense some projected thoughts but there was none. Jorg wondered how Matthew could have kept his thoughts so private. Very few normal human beings were able to avoid having projected thoughts without any training. Jorg wanted to scan him but decided against it. This was surely not a life or death situation.
After he was shown his room and he went into it to rest, Jorg decided to take his leave.
“Sorry Captain. He’s a little hostile to strangers, especially those who are in authority. I guess, calling you Captain certainly made you in authority,” Mark apologised.
“I understand. I’ve to be honest: when your application came, we checked your background and we found out about your parents’ divorce and your brother’s status. I know about what’s happening. Believe me when I say that it’s no matter.”
Mark was a little pale. “You knew and you still hired me?”
“Your family has nothing to do with your character. Furthermore, I believe that we all have a choice in everything that we do. There’s no such thing as a situation without a choice. They may not be choices that we’d like but there’re definitely choices available. You chose to look upon him as your brother. He may be born in a certain situation but he chooses if he wants to continue with live positively or negatively. The choice is not what he is, but what he wants to be … Sorry for the lecture. I shouldn’t be rambling on like that.”
“No Captain, you’re right. I decide what I want, I don’t let the circumstances decide for me. Maybe I should show Matt that there are more choices available than he thinks. Then perhaps he’d realise that he has the power to choose.”
“Get him to mix around,” Jorg said. “I know that Jacques and Heath are good with people. Maybe he’ll find good friends in them as well.”
“That’s what I plan to do. I’ve made plans for dinner with both of them.”
“Fast thinking there. I think Jacques had better be diligent or else he may lose his position to you,” chuckled Jorg.
Mark turned pale. “Please say you’re not serious. I wouldn’t like to cause Jacques to lose his job …”
“Don’t worry, Mark. Jacques is a hardworking fellow. He’ll keep his job but what I said is not a joke. All of us have to be hardworking. If not the powers that be may decide to replace us. That includes me!”
Mark looked slightly relieved. “Thanks for the ride, Captain. I really appreciate it.”
“No need to thank me. I was available and I got to know you a little better. After all we start our maiden cruise the day after tomorrow and I think we both benefitted from this morning. I’m glad I came.”
Mark smiled as Jorg left the flat.
The moment Mark closed the door, Matthew apologized, “Sorry for being an jerk back there.”
“You shouldn’t be apologizing to me,” Mark pointed out. “Captain Brown was just being kind. He knew I didn’t have a vehicle and we thought you had quite a bit of luggage. It turns out we could’ve taken the public transport after all.”
“I guess,” said Matthew thoughtfully. “So, you’re leaving me alone when you start working, eh?”
“Nothing of that sort! I’ve got you a place on board the ship for her maiden cruise!”
“Wasn’t that expensive?”
“Well, you aren’t there as a guest.”
“I’m the Assistant Cruise Director and I managed to pull some strings. You’d be staying in one of the spare crew quarters and helping out as an usher on board the cruise.”
“You got me here to work! You slave driver!” groaned Matthew. He was just teasing. He was glad that Matthew was not going to leave him alone in the flat whist he worked.
“You’re only doing half the number of shifts as I am. So there’s some time to enjoy the facilities of the ship free of charge. I wish I could’ve given you a proper ticket, but with my salary, I can’t afford it,” said Mark apologetically. Apparently, he did not realise that Matthew was just teasing.
“No sweat, Mark. I was just teasing. Anyway, if I do well, I might get a permanent position on the ship.”
“Oh!” said Mark.
Matthew noticed the change in mood and ventured to ask,“Why? Did I say something wrong?”
“No. It's nothing really important,” replied Mark
“If it’s not anything important, then it doesn’t matter if I ask you for more details,” said Matthew.
Mark paused for a while debating with himself whether to say what he had in mind or not. He looked up and said, “I was hoping you’d continue with school … at least your basic cert. You dont’t have to worry about spending money. That’s my department. I’ll worry about keeping food on the table and a roof over our heads.”
“If you work and I go to school, won’t it mean that I’ll be alone? What’s the difference between living here and living on Earth?”
“Hey! I’m not forcing you to do anything. If you want to work, it’s fine with me. I just thought … I mean we might not always see each other but at least we can spend time together, like a family. The work plan at the ship is that I get one full working day off for every three working days on the ship; and I get one full working day off for every Sunday I work on the ship. This works out to quite a bit of time home in between cruises. So, whilst you may not see me for a whole week, I would have at least two whole days at home. It all depends on the cruise tme table. On Earth, you’ll be spending time alone all the time and so will I. Here, at least we have each other some of the time. Even if you worked on the ship, it doesn’ mean that we’d be together all the time, too.”
Matthew smiled, “I know you’ve been doing a lot for me and want what’s best for me. I promise to think seriously about what you’ve said.”
“Right!” said Mark, wondering what to do next. Then he took his brother’s arm and said, “We’ve got some time until our dinner appointment. Now, first, let me show you your room. I didn’t know if you’d like the colour scheme I picked out …”
¤ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ¤
“Sorry we’re late,” apologised Mark.
“We didn’t wait long,” said Heath. “Don’t worry about it.”
“This is my brother Matt. Matt, this is Heath Williams.”
“Hi, great to finally meet you,” said Heath.
“Likewise,” said Matthew cautiously.
“And you do know me, right?” said Jacques as he returned from the restroom.
“Yes,” answered Matthew. “Boy, Jacques you’ve really grown!” exclaimed Matthew. He had last seen Jacques a few years ago before the break-up of his parents.
“It’s been several years Matt,” said Jacques. “You’ve grown a lot as well. You’re not the scrawny little kid that I knew.”
Matthew looked a little suspicious. Mark noticed this and looked annoyed. He had warned Matthew not to be rude.
Jacques gave a laugh. “I think Mark must have told you about Heath and me. I think you look good, Matt, but I’ll never hit on you. I’ve found the person for me.”
“You don’t hate gays, do you?” asked Heath worriedly.
“No, I just don’t understand how a guy can … you know … ?” said Matthew.
“I think I know what you mean,” said Heath. “There was a time when I wondered what it would be like to be with a girl. I tried very hard to imagine myself with some of the girls in my class.”
“You did?” Jacques asked. He looked very surprised.
“Don’t tell me that you’ve never thought about it?” asked Heath.
Mark quickly interrupted, “When are we going to order? I’m hungry!”
“We’ll talk at home,” Jacques gave the final word.
Dinner was ordered and Matthew did not let the matter rest, to the displeasure of his elder brother.
“I never imagined you to be gay, Jacques. I know a few girls who were crazy about you,” said Matthew.
“How did you know?” Jacques asked. “You weren’t with us in school.”
“Well, when your sister was with Mark, a whole group of girls and guys used to meet at our place. I overheard much of what was going on. There were a few unattached girls who were trying to find out what you liked and how to approach you. Then when you skipped two years to get to the Academy, those girls started moaning.”
“That may be,” said Heath. “I wouldn’t know what would’ve happened to me if I didn’t meet Jacques …”
“You could’ve found someone different,” said Matthew. “Ouch!” Mark had nudged his younger brother. “What did you do that for?”
Heath smiled. He had read Mark’s projected thoughts. “Are you afraid that Matthew’s questions are going to spoil our dinner?”
Mark just looked embarrassed.
“Don’t worry about us, Mark. We’re okay. We’re glad that Matt is not homophobic. I think we’d get along fine,” said Heath.
“I’d still like to have that talk with you though,” said Jacques to Heath.
Matthew understood why his brother had nudged him. He did not ask any more questions regarding Jacques and Heath’s relationship. He turned the conversation to other things.
¤ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ¤
“Sorry, Mark. I didn’t realise that I was getting too personal with them,” apologised Matthew.
“I guess what’s done is done,” said Mark with a shrug. “At least you didn’t carry on after I nudged you. Just don’t do it again.”
Matthew looked apologetic. “Yeah. I’m really sorry. Are you still mad at me?”
Mark sighed. “You know I don’t easily get mad at you. No. I’m not mad now. I just hope you didn’t start something that they’re not ready for.”
“What do you mean?” Matthew looked questioningly at his brother.
With a frown, Mark replied, “You brought out something that Jacques didn’t know about Heath. He didn’t sound too pleased. I just hope that whatever it was, their relationship isn’t going to be affected.”
“Well, if they truly love each other, there shouldn’t be any problems,” said Matthew carelessly.
Mark looked into blank space as he remarked thoughtfully, “No couple love each other perfectly. There’s always room for more love. They’ve only been with each other a few years. I’d been with Stephanie longer and yet we broke up.”
Matthew looked apologetic a second time. “Sorry, I didn’t mean for you to get into that …”
Mark gave a slight smile. “I’m over her, Matt; at least almost. I still feel sad that it didn’t work out but I’ve made peace with the situation. It’s not my loss. She left me, I didn’t leave her.”
“Do you know why she left you?” asked Matthew.
“You’d think I was a fool!” Mark laughed.
“Uh?” Matthew cocked his head.
With a slight grin, Mark said, “She left me because I didn’t go to bed with her.”
“What?” Matthew asked incredulously. “You dated her for so long and you didn’t do it?”
“She was very special to me,” explained Mark. “I wanted to save sex for a special night.”
“Which night is that?” asked Matthew mischieviously.
“I was planning to propose to her when I finished school,” said Mark with that faraway look he had before.
“Did she know that?”queried Matthew, which brought Mark back to earth again.
“Well, I dropped a lot of hints about being married to her but I never told her when,” Mark said.
“Well, chin up bro,” said Matthew, trying to encourage his older brother. “You’ll find another better girl.”
Mark smiled. “What about you? Still a virgin like me?”
Matthew grinned, “No, of course not! I had myself some pussy when I was fifteen.”
“Who was it?” asked a very impressed Mark.
“You remember Abigail Linney?”
Mark was truly surprised. “You mean Abigail Linney from my class?”
“Yep,” answered Matthew with a hint of pride.
Mark was flabbergasted. “How? … When?”
“Well, when I was still fifteen,” Mark said with a grin. “She’d caught her boyfriend with another girl and she came on to me. Said she wanted to teach me how to treat a woman right. I went over to her place one afternoon after school and her parents weren’t in. I must admit that I was so excited that I came as soon as I entered her. Had to rub her clit to satisfy her.”
“Fifteen!” exclaimed Mark. “You were safe, weren’t you?”
“Of course,” replied Matthew, still grinning. “I may’ve been young but not stupid.”
“Was that your only time?” Mark asked, filled with wonder at what his brother was capable of.
“Yeah. Well, two weeks later, her boyfriend found out and came after me. I managed to escape him but I scraped my knee in the process …”
Matthew suddenly became silent. Mark realised that that was the accident that led to their parents divorcing. He put his arm over Matthew’s shoulder.
“You okay? It wasn’t your fault,” Mark said softly.
“If I didn’t have my accident, we’d still be one family,” Matthew said, his eyes glistening with tears.
Mark tightened his grip on his brother. “I don’t care what the doctors say. You’re still my brother and I love you.”
“Thanks,” Matthew said softly before burying his face in his brothers shoulder.
‡ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ‡
Heath endured silence on the journey back from the restaurant. “Okay, Jacques. What’s the matter? I know that voice. You were trying to hide your displeasure at the restaurant.”
“Are you really gay?” asked Jacques in frustration.
“Does it matter?” Heath asked.
“Of course it does!” snapped Jacques. “I’m gay but I don’t want to find out one day that you’ve decided to want babies and leave me for a woman!”
“Okay,” said Heath putting his hands up in surrender. “I’ve never tested myself. I don’t believe in some machine telling me that I’m gay based on some chemical I have in my cells.”
“But I know I am,” retorted Jacques. “My father’s gay and he’d transferred the gene to me.”
“Did you go for the test?” asked Heath.
“No,” answered Jacques truthfully.
Heath put his right hand on Jacques’ shoulder. “Look Jacques. The gene doesn’t mean anything. If it were that important, you’d never have been born.”
“But my father went for treatment,” argued Jacques.
“And did it cure him? Did the treatment make him straight?” Heath persisted in his questioning.
“No,” admitted Jacques meekly.
“So, the gene means nothing,” said Heath, reiterating his point.
“But you said that you’d thought of being with girls before,” Jacques pointed out.
“After Vince left me and I had that trouble with my father, I’d tried to ask myself if I was straight. I tried to wank off with girls in my head.”
“So, could you still cum?” asked Jacques anxiously.
“Sometimes I could, sometimes I couldn’t,” replied Heath, wondering where the question was leading to.
“So you could be bisexual at least!” concluded Jacques
“So?” Heath’s tone was a little defiant.
“So you could still get the urge to be a parent and then leave me,” stressed Jacques.
Heath looked a little surprised. “You mean to tell me that you’ve never thought that you could be straight?”
“No. My first crush was Mark and then that was it,” Jacques answered flatly.
“You mean that you’d been infatuated with Mark, wanked off with images of him in your mind and then decided that you’re gay and never had any doubts?”Heath asked.
“Well, I liked Mark a lot but I didn’t always wank off with him in my mind,” replied Jacques.
“What did you think about when you wanked off?” Heath asked.
“Well, until I met you, I only wanked off occasionally. Most of the time I wanked off wanting to get the feeling of coming. That was the only thing on my mind: the feeling,” Jacques admitted.
“When did Mark come into your mind?” Heath asked.
“Only a few times," Jacques replied. “It was after I found out that he was with Stephanie.”
“So,” said Heath as he looked intently at his partner, “you weren’t really thinking of him sexually until you felt jealous because Stephanie was with him.”
Jacques nodded his head. “But it doesn’t prove that I’m not gay.”
“When you told me that you’d feelings about Mark before, you told me that it was when you felt jealous that you’d discovered you were gay,” Heath remarked.
“Yes?” It was Jacques’ turn to feel a little vulnerable.
“So you discovered that you were gay before you started thinking of him sexually?” Heath asked.
Jacques remained silent.
“Jacques. Isn’t it enough that I love you?” asked an exasperated Heath. “We link up with each other whenever we make love. I know that I’m not holding anything back now. If what you see in my mind doesn’t convince you that I love you, then nothing would.”
“Look Heath, we’re young. I’m afraid that I’d lose you. What if you want children?” asked Jacques.
“We could adopt,” Heath suggested.
“But having children is the only way to continue our lives after we die,” Jacques said.
Heath gave a little smile that made Jacques feel even more uncomfortable. “Jacques, have you been feeling fatherly lately?”
“What do you mean?”
“The only way that you’ve reached so deep into an issue is when you’ve thought about it. Have you been having thoughts about having children and then transferred those feelings to me?”
“I … uh … uh … I mean … I did think about it a little …” said Jacques haltingly.
“Just a little?” Heath asked.
“Oh all right!” said Jacques resignedly. “I’ve been wondering if I’d missed out having children by being gay.”
Heath’s response was swift but gentle. “We could still be gay and have children.”
“We could?” Jacques’ eyes were alight with hope.
“We’ll adopt a child.” Heath’s reply was in an even tone.
Jacques gave a slight cringe. “But I want a child of my own,” he pleaded.
“Well, then. You’d just have to find a girl to do it,” said Heath without any hint of emotion.
“But then, I’ll hurt you!” Jacques continued.
Heath looked lovingly at his partner. “Jacques. In life, we have choices. We always have choices. You’d have to make the choice of whether not hurting me would be more important than having children.”
“It isn’t an easy decision,” Jacques grumbled.
Heath kept his gaze. “Decisions like these need us to take the time to consider all the factors. Keep in mind that we’re magi and if we’d have children with a normal human being, we’d need to be nullified. Keep in mind that we’ve a duty regarding the future of the human race to think about. Keep in mind that if we choose artificial means of having children, we’d outlive our children.”
“I know all of that. That’s what makes the decision so hard to make,” replied Jacques.
Heath gave a small smile. “I can’t help you here Jacques because I’ll be affected by any decision you make. Jacques, we have time to think about it, at least a hundred years! But Jacques … ?”
Jacques was looking down in frustration but he realised that Heath was awaiting his response. “Yes?” he asked.
Jacques looked very sad but Heath lifted his chin and said, “Don’t you know how much I love you. Even if I wanted to have a child, I’ll find some way to have it with you. I won’t leave you!”
Jacques looked at his lover. He felt ashamed of himself. Heath loved him unconditionally, even after what he had said. Heath opened his arms and Jacques moved into them.
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