Chapter 6

"Are we still not talking?"

I'm being taken to the stage. It's been a few weeks. I'm starting to look like my old self. Today was a big day and the more I want to focus on it the more sidetracked I am thinking that Officer Shad is what he is. I don't get how this is right. I don't understand how Rhett thought it was a good idea to turn the man who saved my life into an android.

"I'm busy," I tell him.

I'm grab some papers up. I'm looking through them. Today was going to be the start of a movement. So much depended on today. The last thing I wanted to do was mess it up thinking about how I am continuously being betrayed by Rhett.

"Can we just talk about it for a second?"

"Talk about what? The fact that you turned Shad into a monster?"

"He's not a monster."

"You told me he was dead."

"Can you just give me two seconds to show you?" Rhett says.

"No..."

"Please."

Rhett doesn't hesitate to take this into his own hands. I watch as he walks over to the door and opens it. Immediately the thing that used to be Officer Shad walks into the room.

"3818 please walk forward," Rhett states.

Shad walks into the room. He walks straight up to me. He looks right through me as though he doesn't even recognize me. There is no soul there. There is nothing there. It's completely empty. It's completely dead.

"3818?" I ask Rhett.

"That's how many tries it took to get this model," Rhett explains, "And he's still not perfect but as you saw when he rescued us...he is definitely going to be a force."

"Jesus Christ."

3818 looked powerful to say the least. So powerful. Still as he's standing here I just keep thinking something isn't right about this.

"3818, take your shirt off."

The android takes his shirt off. His arms are metal but his flesh is skin. He seems more bulky then I remember Shad to be. His skin is perfect and flawless. Every once in a while, I see an electric glow underneath the flesh reminding me that this thing isn't completely human. It reminds me of the flickering light when you first turn a television on. Power is surging all through him. I reach forward. I touch his chest. I'm slow.

He looks so much like Shad. It's ridiculous.

"Shad are you in there..."

"He doesn't know who you are," Rhett tells me, "This isn't Shad. This is 3818. He's not the guy who helped you at the prison camp anymore. You do understand that don't you?"

I look into 3818's eyes. He looks into mine. I bring my hand forward and touch the android's face. It turns and looks at me. 3818 stares dead at me and for a moment I swear I see him wince. For a moment it seems as though he was looking at me working in the fields again like he used to. He was studying me...trying to figure me out. Trying to see why I sacrificed for other people. He looks at me the same way at that moment.

Then I see a single tear come down his cheek.

"He in there," I state.

Rhett literally grabs my hand and removes it from Shad.

"3818...please leave."

The android turns and walks out of the room at that moment. I almost want to chase after it. I'm so desperate to do so actually. What the hell happened just now. Was I imagining it? I had seen a flicker of recognition. I had seen a tear as though someone was trapped in there dying to get out.

"Rhett he's stuck in there," I explain.

"He's brain dead. Every once in a while he may react. It may seem like he recognizes you but he doesn't. That is just the computer we created inside of him. Andriods are the perfect machines because they can react like humans but they aren't human. He isn't alive. He's dead for the most part. His body was dying. We saved what we could and we turned him into a weapon."

Dead for the most part. That doesn't sound too right.

"What happens if I don't win?"

"We go to war. We are mass producing an army of andriods just like 3818. We'll take the presidency by force if necessary. Straight people may have us outnumbered but we have a plan."

"I don't want war."

"Then don't lose Caden."

I stand there feeling lost and confused at that moment. I look around the room. I'm desperate to understand how this all falls on my shoulders. If there were others like 3818 then millions could die in this war. This could be the end of the United States as we knew it.

"The army...will they be others like Shad?" I ask.

"You mean brain dead?"

"I mean straight."

"Yes. We aren't going to do this to our own people," Rhett tells me.

"Our own people? Rhett...Shad saved my life."

"The person you knew as Shad may have been a kind straight person, but he's still a straight person. This is war already Caden. Whether you know it or not," Rhett explains, "So before you announce you presidency I'm going to need you to make sure you know just what side you are on."

Rhett seems annoyed when he walks out of the room and slams the door. That's the first time I really saw it. That's the first time I saw the anger on the other side. Usually it was just pity. Like Lauren stated, you can gather yourself into a ball and pity. This wasn't pity though. This wasn't the gay victimhood I had seen before.

Rhett was showing me an anger. He was showing me a gay rage and I had no idea how big that rage really was...yet.

~

"Are you ready?" Laura asks.

"This outfit is too much," I tell her.

"You look amazing," a voice says.

I'm shaking back stage. Laura has dressed me in an all white suit. Underneath the suit there is a vest that is made out of lizard skin armor. It looks more like a costume than presidential attire but Laura says that times have changed. She says I have to go out there looking strong. What better way than armor right? I trusted Laura...but I was still so uncomfortable.

In this distance I can hear the chants. They are calling my name.

So many people...

"Mr. Collins has turned this into a fiasco," she notices out loud.

She's right. Mr. Collins has poured hundreds of thousands of dollars into this event. He wants me to come out of the gate into this campaign like a force. I turn at that moment and see Seth walk over. In the distance, Michael and 3818 are there. My heart is racing as everything is happening. I can hear the crowd in the distance. There had to be thousands of people out there. There literally had to be thousands. The more I think about it the more I get really fucked up feelings in my stomach.

"Something isn't right," I tell Seth.

It's still hard being around him but this was business and today was the day that I announced my presidency for the United States of America. I needed the help even if it did come from Seth.

"It's OK to be nervous," Seth tells me, "This is a big thing. Still everyone out there is gay. Everyone is a fan of yours. We are broadcasting this across the country. You're in a safe place here Caden. I would never let anything happen to you. It's normal to have second thoughts."

Seth reaches out.

I swear he wants to grab my hand. Back in the day he would do that often. If I was ever scared or nervous he would reach out and hold my hand. He would feel my pulse with his finger, look in my eyes and breathe with me until I calmed down. That was the old Seth.

That was the old Caden who allowed it to happen to.

I jerk my hand back.

"I'm not having second thoughts," I tell him.

And I damn sure didn't need him to show me any sort of affection ever again. Seth had betrayed me once. I would never give him a chance to do it again.

"Then what's the problem?"

"The problem is the speech. It just doesn't sound like something I would say."

"Mr. Collins had the best speechwriters prepare this speech."

"I don't like it. It doesn't sound like me," I respond.

"Don't read it," someone interrupts.

We turn and see that it is none other than Rhett who walks over to join us. I hate being around Seth but after what I discovered the truth behind 3818 I wasn't so happy with Rhett either. This was getting annoying. I was surrounded by people who all had their own Agenda.

"Are you joking?" Seth responds, "He needs this speech. You don't just go out there and wing it. You don't just go out there and read from a paper."

I read over the speech. It sounded so robotic. This was such a fucking mess.

"If he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it," Rhett argues, "This is the boy who wrote the City in the Sky. Remember? That's what people fell in love with. That's what moved the Gay Agenda. He needs to be himself."

"Mr. Collins paid someone upwards of 50 thousand dollars to write this speech," Seth punches back almost immediately, "We polled the speech. We know this speech is going to work. We paid the very best."

"Well you wasted his money."

Rhett arguing with Seth is annoying. Rhett definitely seems opinionated but at the same time I wonder why he even brought Seth into the picture if he was just going to argue with him. Maybe Rhett didn't know we would have such a strong friendship when he initially invited Seth into the picture. Now there definitely seems to be tension. It makes me wonder if sleeping with Rhett was really the right choice.

Seth may notice the tension, because he draws back almost defensively, "I'm the campaign manager. I think I know what's best for Caden."

"I think Caden knows what's best for Caden."

They are arguing back and forth. I didn't have time for this. Truthfully the way Seth is going at Rhett makes me wonder if this is really just about reading the speech or not. I loved how Rhett believed in me. I have to admit, but at the same time Seth had a point. You don't just go off the dome with something like this. The entire country would be watching. People would be wanting to see who was going up to challenge Storm.

"You two need to stop," I state, "This isn't helping.

Seth walks over and leans into me. He domes over me so he almost shadows me when he whispers in my ear, "Listen. I'm not trying to tell you what to do but this is the most important part of the campaign. You fuck this up and Mr. Collins will turn away his endorsement. You won't have money to eat let alone run a nationwide campaign. So please...read...the...fucking script."

"Fine..."

~

My heart sinks. Thousands of people. Rainbow flags swim across the stage. I look out at all the lights. The cameras are rolling. The underground base had been transformed into a fucking theater and I was the number one entertainer.

All eyes were on me.

"Thank you all for coming."

They were staring. Fiercely staring. Sweat rolls down the my armpits. I wonder if they can see it through the white suit. I hope not. It probably would look horrible on camera. I stare out into the distance. I can't see the end.

"Thank you for coming..." I state.

This time I'm more forceful. This time I'm trying to sound like a president instead of a scared guy who just left camp. I had gained the weight back but inside I was still that starving prisoner of the camp. I wasn't the gay Nelson Mandela. What the fuck was I thinking?

"Our country is in serious trouble. We are no longer united, anymore. We used to be united, but we don't have it. Our confederated union is has been prorated but no longer...no longer...no longer..."

I can read the words on the page. It sounds so forced. There is no anger. There is no emotion in this speech. These people were mad as hell. They were pissed. They didn't want to hear words of unity.

I continue the speech struggling to keep going, "Unity is defined as the movement of a nation. Together we can accomplish great things. I would like to be the face of that unity... I would..."

The words keep getting stuck.

All of a sudden I just stop reading. I can't do this. I can't lie. I can't pretend like I'm in this place. Right now I wasn't in this place. Right now I was mad as hell.

That's when I hear the silence grow in the crowd. I was looking like an idiot. How long until they start booing. How long until Collins gets me off the stage.

I feel someone walk up behind me and I'm sure that I'm being removed for wasting their time. I turn behind me though and I notice that it's Rhett. Rhett is standing behind me. He grabs the speech out of my hand and he rips it to the ground.

In the wings I can see Seth's face. I can see how outraged he looks. I don't have anything to read from now that Rhett has done that. I don't have any speech.

"Be yourself," he tells me.

Myself? Who was I? I was a gay victim. I was someone who had been taken advantage of and beaten down. Who was I to run for president?

"Rhett I..."

I walk away from the microphone. I can't do this. Who did I think I was. That's when Rhett holds my hand. He holds my hand and he gives me a kiss. He pulls me in for the biggest kiss I've ever gotten from anyone.

His tongue goes down my throat. I feel the crowd cheer immediately. This show of gayness was being televised across the world. The crowd erupts so loud that I think the underground base is going to cave in. The ruckus cheers shake everything and everyone. Me kissing Rhett on television was the moment of a lifetime.

I can feel the energy.

I can feel them give me their energy.

It's at that moment that I knew Rhett was right. He was always right. I had to choose which side I was on. These people were like me. They were my people.

I am stronger now. I was ready now.

I go to back to the podium after feeling all that energy.

"Gay pride isn't just about travelling out of state with your friend. It isn't about rainbows. It isn't about parades. Not any longer. Black pride had their fists in the sky. Well I'm gay and I'm proud. And I'll show off my bent wrist."

I pull my hand in the sky and bend my wrist. The crowd erupts. I don't care if it looks gay. That's the point. I was giving them something to unite around and I can see almost immediately thousands of people join me.

"Fuck unity," I tell them, "Gay means happy. Right? But I'm not happy. I'm mad as hell. So I'm going to make this short and sweet. How many of us have died? How many of us are dying still? How many times have these people made up excuses to hate us? Oh our bible says this. Our bible says that. Or I want grandkids. Or I can't stand seeing two gay men kiss. Or you are spreading diseases. I have something to say to these people. I have something to say to President Storm. FUCK you and FUCK your idea of what is right and wrong. I'm not here to make you happy. I'm not here to make you gay. I didn't have an agenda, regardless of how much you thought I did. I was just trying to live my life. That's all. I was trying to be happy like you all assumed I was. I was trying to be gay. Now I'm mad though. Now I'm pissed. Now I'm going to rage. I'm going to stay mad as hell. Now I have an agenda. Today, I announce my candidacy for President for the United States of America and I am going to bend President Storm over and FUCK HIM IN THE ASS!"

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