Without a Friend

Copyright Christmas 2005 Crackerwriter

This is a story about early love and experimental sexual contact between younger teenagers and a ghost.

The usual disclaimers apply:

If you are under the age of 18, or reading such material is illegal in your jurisdiction, or you find such material offensive, then please leave this story unread NOW.

There is within the story a degree of male-to-male sexual content, but is not intended to encourage or promote such actions. Any similarities to any persons living or dead are highly unlikely.

The story itself doesn't mention safe sex, because it is a story. However for those of us that are in reality, it's much better to play safe these days. Use protection where it's needed for your own sake and others.

* * * * * * * *


Terry was a terribly lonely boy. The problem had got worse and worse for him since his family moved here to their new house. That had been five months ago in July. It was now only a few days until Christmas Day.

For some reason when he had joined his new school here, the other boys at the school had taken exception to him, and teased and bullied him unmercifully. He felt he was quietly going mad. He would be fourteen in February. He began to wonder whether he'd make it. Far from realising something was wrong, his parents just nagged him to do this and that, and tried to make him join one of the local clubs. That would have been all right if it wasn't for the fact that the very boys who made his life a misery at school, ran riot at the club. He went out when the club was open, but just walked for miles and miles to pass the time, until he was supposed to be home.

Just lately, he'd got fed up with walking around everywhere. It could be a bit risky on the streets at night, so he'd decided to go and find somewhere quiet. There were several seats in the churchyard, and they were quite comfortable because they were made of broad wooden pieces, and were warm to sit on; not like those iron ones in the park. Anyway, he didn't like the park in the evening. It was a dangerous place, with older boys gathering and getting high on drugs and drunk on beer and bottles of some stuff. He'd found out the hard way, when they first moved there. Some boys had forced him to drink something that made his head spin, and he got all confused. One of the boys had taken him aside and asked him if he wanted to go and play a secret game with him and told him he'd show him how he could get like him and if he was good and did some stuff for him he'd give him some money.

Terry had asked what he was supposed to get like, and the older boy had shown him what was bulging in his trousers. Terry was frightened and ran away screaming. His never got like that, and he didn't want to go with that boy anyway. He didn't trust him with the way he kept feeling his bottom. The older boy had tried to get his hand down the back of his jeans, but his belt was tight and it was difficult for him. He had made it for just a few moments and wiggled a finger into his hole. Terry had squealed and wriggled. For some reason though his thing had gone quite stiff, like the older boy's, and the boy had laughed cruelly at him, taunting him, saying he evidently liked it. But he didn't. The boy's finger was dry and it made his bottom sore and itchy. Why had his thing got stiff like that though anyway? But he was lying to himself and he knew it. He knew the truth of that really.

He remembered the boy at school in the showers. The one he imagined as his special friend when he was safe in bed, hidden by the sheets and blankets, with his pyjamas round his ankles, his straining hardness begging for attention and release. It had been happening for about a year and a bit now. The truth that he denied to himself; the longing he had to keep to himself less he be discovered. Every morning he washed a soggy sticky handkerchief and hung it out of sight to dry behind the wardrobe. It was the fruit of his loins, his secret shame that could not tell to anyone. He didn't want this nightmare. Why didn't he like girls like the other boys? But he didn't. He liked boys. He liked to hold himself tight against them, even though his body would react and he'd have to try and hide it.

He'd known for years now since way, way back. He remembered being a choirboy, and the other older choirboy he'd found, who he'd discovered had the same ideas as him. That soft gentle hand that had stroked him. And the kiss...oh the pleasure of his first boy kiss. Tears ran as he longed for that lost moment. The stabbing beam of light that had come from the Verger's torch, and with it, their discovery in the churchyard. They had been told not to come back. For fear of further retribution, they had not even dared see one another again, then soon after, the family moved away. Alone again.

Tonight was like many others; cold, icy even, and a crisp frost starting. The church clock struck two. His parents probably thought he was asleep hours ago, like they undoubtedly would be, but he'd found a way in and out of the back door of his house that didn't disturb them and he could come and go as he wished. It was nearly holiday time now on the run up to Christmas, so he wasn't bothered much if he dozed a bit in class. Even the teachers seemed reluctant to acknowledge his presence.

In circumnavigating another church, he'd come across the other small porch at the other side of the building. It was mostly obscured by a large yew tree, and had outer doors, which were never locked because they had no locks, unlike the inner door, which was never opened or used and was securely locked. When he'd first come across it, it was very dirty and dusty, but it was dry and not damp like it might have been. He'd taken a dustpan and brush in a bag one night and given it something of a clean. There weren't even any cobwebs, because the doors fitted so snugly that they hadn't got in. There was a very broad wooden seat that ran the whole length of one sidewall and made a very comfortable seat.

Consequently he'd now made it his home-from-home in the evenings. The heavy oak doors had small panes of glass in them, which allowed just enough light into the place that it wasn't pitch black, and he'd taken some candles there and pinned thick cardboard over the inside of the panes when he had them lit. It was also fairly soundproof; the doors were so thick that they attenuated virtually any noise either way. The walls were solid and almost immune to sound.

Safe in the knowledge that it was almost impossible for him to be heard, he had wedged himself in the corner on the seat and spilled his seed a few times now, not caring where it landed. Being in a church porch, he fantasised about his past friend, and wasn't afraid to weep, unseen by others over the memory of the one true friend he'd so quickly lost. He had every detail firmly wedged in his memory of the slightly older boy, who was much more significantly developed than him at the time although seemingly still mostly prepubescent.

On reflection, he must have been on the verge of puberty, since he hadn't been that much smaller than Terry was now, but his attitude towards Terry was the complete opposite from that boy in the park. His name was Archie shortened from Archibald, which he hated. He came from a very `old-fashioned' style family of almost Victorian attitudes, and the clothes he wore reflected this. He'd told Terry that his family's attitude was that sex was never mentioned, and was just considered to be one of those things that were necessary merely to propagate the species, and not to be considered a pleasure. But Archie was totally besotted by Terry.

He was so smitten with him that he'd almost worshiped the younger boy, tending to his every need. As a result, Terry had found himself so loved that he had more than willingly surrendered his body to Archie's denied pleasures. Archie was more than big enough that they could go through the motions of full sex, and even if his orgasms were dry, Terry tried to make them as pleasurable as possible. With a little help from Archie, he'd been able to have the same type of orgasm, being just big enough to enter him as well. In fact if he stroked Archie at the same time as he was inside him, Archie had repeated orgasms, because he said Terry loved him so much and made him feel so good. If they only had time for a hand job or it wasn't safe enough for anything else, Archie would always make certain that he was the first to get the pleasure; sometimes he would rub them both together, and they would share a shattering climax together.

Archie had taken the first step towards his learning to kiss properly. Sometimes Archie had been round his house and they'd seen open-mouthed kissing on a video, and guessed what was going on inside the mouths of the couple in their passion. So Archie had suggested it first. Their first time had been a magic moment, even though in trepidation they had prepared by sucking a couple of mint sweets first. That was all forgotten the moment their lips and tongues met. They had kissed continuously for about twelve minutes, lying in the long grass of a field. Archie had been on top of him, just how Terry liked, and he had felt him go rock solid against him. Without breaking the kiss, Terry had reached between them and unbuttoned them both and working their trousers down enough for their private parts to kiss too. Through the kiss Archie had moaned and ground them hard together as Terry for the first time had let his hands wander across Archie's bum and very gently explored his hole.

Archie had explored his, shortly thereafter, but not with his finger. Terry was more than satisfied to let him do it, because he loved Archie so much, but this time it was so much more intense. They had kissed time and again, and it became obvious that Archie was going to have a really intense finish. There was a difference though. Archie had gone soft very quickly and his own backside felt a bit wet and funny. Archie had blushed furiously. He knew this had been different too.

"What happened Archie? It wasn't like usual was it? I can feel a wetness." Tears formed in Archie's eyes and splashed down on his face. Terry pulled him back into a kiss, and suddenly Archie was all over him, crying, kissing him and crying more.

"Something came out. I'm so sorry. I must have wee'd myself inside you. Can you forgive me?"

"Archie, of course I can and I do; you mustn't get upset by something like that. Archie, have you learned or been taught about sex?"

"N...No. They don't teach us anything like that at my school until we're much older."

"I see. Well just sit on my thing for a moment and let me look at you, quickly now."

Archie had done as he asked, but made sure he made Terry fully hard first so that his smaller protrusion pushed its way just inside him as he sat down over it.

"Thanks Archie, that feels so nice."

"It feels good to me too Terry, though it will feel even better when we are older and grown more. Then you will be much deeper inside me." Terry thought about that for a moment. So Archie wanted to stay friends when they were older too? Perhaps he really didn't want to have a girlfriend at all. That would suit Terry fine.

Terry felt his backside, then pulled his fingers away and looked at them. "Archie, look..." He separated his fingers and there was a single strand of clear something stretched between them. "You cum Archie, you cum in me." He quickly examined Archie's now softened member and showed him the same stickiness there under the skin. His eyes widened as he realised the simple truth.

And then the following week of course, they had been caught by the verger in the churchyard after choir practice, and sent away never to return. But Terry never forgot him and his loving ways, and as his fist flew, he thought again of the wonderful feeling of Archie inside him, and with a longing moan, soon his seed jetted freely, splattering over the stone slabs. No one would ever notice it, so he didn't bother wiping it, but merely compared it with his previous release here. It was a lot more. That was because this time he'd thought about Archie.

He sighed. He so needed Archie back or someone as nice and kind as him. He longed for a friend with all his heart.

`Oh well,' he thought as he secured his clothing again, `might as well head home now.' He unpinned the pieces of cardboard covering the windows and carefully stowed them on the ledge above the door. He blew out the candles and laid them and their saucers on the shelf too. If anyone were to briefly look in there, they would see nothing amiss. Carefully he opened one door and slipped out. He held the door open for a moment to let the smell of burnt candle wax escape. That would be the only giveaway if he neglected to do what he was now doing. After a few minutes, he quietly closed the door, and stopping to listen for a few seconds, set forth on his way.

This was a really ideal place because his journey on foot was concealed mostly by the darkness of the churchyard and quiet badly lit alleyways between streets and houses. He was therefore unlikely to ever be seen by anyone at that time of night. He picked his way carefully towards the gate in the far corner of the churchyard, which led onto the first alleyway. There was a path of sorts, but it was grass and difficult to see in this lack of light, so he went quite slowly and carefully. He practically had a heart attack when he heard his name spoken softly in a boy's voice.

"Terry? Don't be frightened, ok?"

Frozen to the spot, Terry hissed back, "Who are you? Where are you?"

"Don't panic. I know you can't see me at the moment. If I show myself, you won't scream will you? I don't wish you any harm. If I did, I could have done it six weeks ago, when you first came here," the voice said softly. It was a boy's voice all right. It had broken like his own, but not matured a lot yet, because he could tell it was still a young voice.

Terry was puzzled. "All right. Why couldn't you just meet me normally then, earlier on during the day?"

"Remember I said don't be frightened?"


"Because I'm what you would call a ghost Terry. But I have something to tell you that you sooo want to know."

"Don't piss me about," Terry threw back. "The boys at school tease me just the same. Where are you? Show yourself!" A moment later Terry gasped.

It was like someone turning up a light dimmer switch. Slowly at first, then increasingly quicker, the boy became visible. He was dressed in very strange clothes, but he was very handsome, beautiful even. His image was now very visible, but strangely didn't seem to shed any light around him. Perhaps he was a ghost after all?

"Terry, my name is Tobias."

"That's an odd name. How old are you?" He looked at the boy and had guessed roughly fourteen.

"If I was still alive Terry, I would be two hundred and forty-seven."


"That's why my name is a little strange to you. When I was alive it was far more common. I can show you my grave if you don't believe me, Terry?"

"Your grave?"

"Yes. I was buried a little way over there if you want to see."

"Er... no it's ok, I believe you I think," replied Terry nervously. "That's if you're not offended."

"No it's all right; it doesn't matter at all. I was only going to prove my age to you. I died when I was nearly fifteen. I was a sickly youth and didn't develop very well though. A lot of boys my age looked much more like young men and they aged quickly because they were worked so hard."

"So what do you want with me then Tobias?"

"I want to talk to you, and find out more what you're like, and I hope, be a friend. Don't worry. I know what sort of friend you like. It's a pity Archie went away isn't it? You were falling in love with him weren't you?"

"How...? Oh of course, you must have seen us together at night, I suppose?"

"Quite right. Did he ever tell you how much he loved you Terry?"

"No, but I guessed a bit."

"Let me tell you something about me Terry," admitted Tobias, "I liked other boys too, so I know your deep desires, because I too experienced them before I died. My father died, and my mother had to go out to work to keep the family going. I had an elder brother of fifteen, old enough to work, yet not old enough to earn anything worthwhile at the time, so he was made to stay at home and look after me. He liked boys too, and admitted it to me, whereupon I told him that I was similarly afflicted.

He used to lie with me in bed, our naked bodies together. He was very well developed; as good as many men and showed me pleasures I never knew were possible. At my request he would fill me with his fully enlarged size and keep it like that with small back and forth motions, until he could not help but discharge his thick juice inside me. I loved him for that. I was only able to return the favour to him very occasionally, but it was enough to make him cry with the joy of it, and know that someone would want him similarly. After I died, he lived a sad life with no permanent partner, although a succession of younger men kept him satisfied from time to time. He was almost forty when a malady took him."

"Do... do you see him now...?" asked Terry timidly.

"Oh no, he's gone on..."

"Gone on?" Realisation dawned. "Oh, I'm sorry. So why didn't you?"

"Oh I shall, once my job is done."

"What's that then?" Terry replied inquisitively.

"Do you really want to find out? If you do you may be a lot happier than you are now Terry. It may be you that it is my job to help. That's why I'd like to talk to you more. In helping you it may be that I shall be doing what is required of me."

"I see. So when and where do you want to talk?"

"Well we can talk when you come here to the porch, and I can come back and sleep with you if you like? That would be nice, to be in bed with another boy again."

Terry got panicky. "No, no! You'd be seen. You're bright enough to attract attention quite easily."

Tobias laughed. "Not at all Terry. It's only you that can see and hear me at the moment. I've only made myself visible to you. Even if I were standing right next to you, no one else would see me. I'd so much like to be with you and sleep the night Terry. Just being with you would be wonderful. To know you cared."

It suddenly dawned on Terry, that all the boy wanted was a little company, friendship. Was that so bad? Wasn't what that exactly what he wanted too? It was Saturday tomorrow anyway; he had forgotten. He wouldn't be bothered in the morning. If he didn't go down to breakfast, it would just be one portion of cereal and some milk saved. No one would care.

"Don't be worried Terry; don't forget I will be gone at dawn. And it would be so nice to be in bed with another boy again. I've missed the closeness so much."

"But how...?"

"You'll see. Is that all right then Terry? I shall be naked in bed with you, you understand? That's if you wish me to be?"

"I don't see how...?"

Tobias laughed, a vaguely musical sound. "You'll see."

"All right then. It will be nice for me too. But we'll have to be very quiet going in and we'll have to whisper."

"No one will see or hear me, I assure you Terry."

"Ok, come on then. Let's go."

"Let me lead, just follow me where it's dark. It'll be quicker."

"That's true, but hey! You don't know where we're going!"

"Oh yes I do. I've been observing you for a while now. Forgive me but I've even watched you with great sadness whilst you had to relieve yourself in bed, alone, and in the porch too. Still, you'll be able to see me naked too, now."

Terry merely followed him, speechless. They made their way back to Terry's house, stopping once briefly for Terry to relieve himself. When they got almost there, Terry put a finger to his lips, but Tobias just smiled at him.

"No one else can see or hear me; I'll wait for you in your bedroom Terry. I'll just sit on the bed and wait," he explained, and he just faded from view.

Terry knew he had to be totally silent now. He went to the back door and let himself in with his spare key he had, then as silently as it was possible made his way to his bedroom, hardly daring to breathe. Fortunately his bedroom was right at the back of the house, next to the spare room, so that he didn't adjoin another occupied room. The doors were heavy, old-fashioned wooden doors. And as such afforded reasonable sound isolation. He had lined the frame of his with a felt strip so that when he closed it carefully, it made no sound whatsoever. He had used the excuse that it saved his mother shouting at him if he banged his door shut. Now with care, it made no noise at all.

As he had promised, Tobias was sitting on the bed. But now he was visible in a different way. Apart from appearing very much more solid than he had before, there was one other major change. He was totally naked.

"I have to put the bedside light on for a moment," Terry explained. "Is that a problem for you?"

"Not at all Terry. You may have noticed I do not appear to you quite the same as before."


"Oh yes, I realise of course I am naked, but I didn't mean that way. Are you going to stay naked too once you take your clothes off? It would be nice if you did. You will be able to feel me this time."

"I will? In that case, yes, I'd love to be naked with you." He quickly undressed and put his clothes on a chair, except for his boxers, which he kept by the side of the bed. Tobias noticed this and looked questioningly. "I can slip those on if I hear anyone moving around. Then they won't know any different.

Terry had quite a nice body really; but it wasn't as nice as he would have liked, he thought. In fact he wished he had Tobias' body, which was actually really very desirable. Tobias stood up while Terry pulled the covers back, then turned to look at him.

"Hold me and realise you can now feel me Terry," murmured Tobias, moving closer. Terry reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. He felt the sensation of warm flesh in his grasp and he gasped. He moved right up to the other boy and put his arms around him. He almost swooned.

He was lost in memories. It felt like he was with Archie again; all the old familiar feelings came flooding back through him. Then they kissed, and he was completely engulfed in a feeling of a mixture of love and desire. He knew he had got terribly aroused as his hot erection pressed firmly against seemingly firm flesh. But then he realised that there was another hot erection, and it wasn't his. He broke the kiss and looked down. Tobias had a full erection too! Just a touch bigger, and beautifully and perfectly formed.

"Come," invited Tobias, breaking another kiss and crawling into bed. Terry swiftly followed him. He hadn't had feelings like this since Archie and he had been together. It wasn't that he wanted sex; he just craved to feel that wonderful feeling of oneness and closeness to another person. Because that person was another boy meant all the more to him. There was no way his body could not have been aroused; it was just a natural reaction that he could no more have stopped than night following day. He realised he had missed the feeling of friendship really more than he imagine, and tears ran down his cheeks, knowing this was only a temporary thing. He so wished his life was like this again, and he still had Archie.

After a while, they just cuddled each other for a bit, and Terry reflected in the bliss of having a naked boy to be with again. If only he could...

"You can if you want, Terry."

"Eh? What?"

"Do what you were thinking. If you like, I will turn round and you can cuddle right up to me and inside me. It will feel just the same, I assure you."

"I can?" Terry whispered.

"Oh yes. That was partly why I wanted to be here with you. I wanted to feel you too, and I will feel you Terry, be assured of that." With that, Tobias had rolled over and shuffled back against Terry.

Terry put his arm around him and held him tight. Tears ran. He moved closer. He was so hard now it almost hurt, and he felt that part of him press hard against the parting flesh. He was getting wet already! It made it easier as the tip found Tobias' moist entrance.

"Are you sure Tobias? Are you meant to do this?"

"There is no wrong where it is done in love Terry. Don't be afraid to be joined with me. Afterwards, if you wish I will do the same for you..."

"Oh yes..." He pushed gently and he was quickly engulfed in a hot warmth, which seemed to massage him and as he rocked to and fro, deeper and deeper, his hand slipped lower to the other boy's passion, and made it as solid as his own.

His release when it came was unlike anything he had ever experienced. Despite having given himself pleasure earlier, he felt course after course of ecstasy ripple through his loins and his whole body, and he felt Tobias enjoying it as much. Damn it! Why did he have to be a ghost? He loved the passion between them; he believed he loved Tobias himself, he suddenly realised. It came as something of a shock, as his lower body still shook and thrust in its final ecstasy. He was utterly spent.

They lay locked together, until Terry was no longer able to keep himself embedded inside Tobias. Then Tobias turned over and gave him as sweet a kiss as Archie had ever done. Terry was lost to him. He wanted nothing more now than to give himself to the other boy. He had made him feel loved once again, as he had so wanted and needed. Vaguely and very faintly he heard the church clock strike four.

"Love me Tobias," he whispered as he turned over and shuffled backwards, more than willingly submitting his body to the other boy's desires. "Tobias? Could you sleep with me at Christmas? It's only a day or two's time. It would be the most wonderful Christmas present I could ever have."

"You really wish me to Terry?"

"Yes of course I do. You have made me feel loved again, like I used to be."

"Very well, of course I will, but I will not sleep with you again until then in that case. I will still see you in the porch, but for now, I want this to be special, and for the moment I will show you the other thing that you love." Slowly, Terry felt his large hot presence filling him. It felt even better than Archie in a way. He cried in his bliss, and Tobias held him tighter and joined with him as deeply as he could.

It was an experience he didn't want to express in words; it was beyond words. At the height of their union he could feel far more hot stickiness filling him, than ever Archie had done. It came in great spurts and helped make his insides feel smooth and slippery.

"Stay inside me as long as you can please Tobias? Thank you for loving me; it was wonderful."

"Of course I will Terry, you felt so good to me as well..."

In the warmth of the bed and Tobias' arms, Terry slipped into a deep, deep sleep. He didn't hear the church clock strike five, or see the sun come up at six. It was ten twenty-three before he awoke. He was hard when he did as usual, and he knew he'd need a piss before it went away. The memory of the night before was strong with him. He felt his backside. It was dry. There was no sticky slime there, and yet the feeling of the hot wetness had been so strong. Maybe it was just a feeling that Tobias had given him. After all, how could a ghost actually leave something physical inside him? Mind you he considered, exploring himself, he was loose; he had been stretched last night and considerably so. Terry wondered how big his older brother had been then? Tobias had not been small in that department; he had been a lot bigger than Archie, and it had given Terry the satisfaction his body ached for.

He partly dressed and then went for a leak and a wash. As he drained himself, he went limp. That was a partial relief anyway. All the time he had been hard, he couldn't take his mind of the feel of Tobias with him. He so much wanted that again. He longed for it; he ached for it.

Sod it he thought. He was hungry, so he went downstairs to the kitchen. His mother was there.

"Oh, so you're up at last are you? Waste half the day sleeping in late when you could be doing things. I thought you did stuff at the club on a Saturday?"

Oh god she was going to go on and on about this all weekend now; he couldn't take it. He exploded.

"I hate the club. It's full of the same blokes that torment me at school, and I won't go there anymore! I hate going to school for the same reason." His mother sank into a chair. "You don't know what hell I go through each day taking their teasing and insults. It's driving me mad. I can't take it anymore." Tears were streaming down his face. "All I need is just one decent friend; one that didn't treat me like that, but just like a normal human being. You want to turn me into something I'm not, you and dad. Well you can't do it! I can't be who you want me to be. I have to be myself! And if you tell me to go to that damn club again I shall leave, go away somewhere where it's not a living hell until you understand." He ran from the room, slamming the door behind him and ran to his room, slamming the door with only a dull thud this time. He flung himself on the bed and wept uncontrollably.

His mother sat and lit a cigarette. What was wrong with Terry? Were they really being so unfair to him or was there some other problem? Was this just a bad day for him he was having or was he really so badly upset about school. Was he really being bullied like he said? She thought hard. It was true; he hadn't been the same since before they had moved. About the time that other rather nice boy's family had moved away. What was his name now? Ah yes! Archie. That was it. A pity really. He had been a good friend to Terry she thought. Could it be that he was missing him so much? Why would that be? Or was it that they had been far closer friends than she realised, and he really did need someone like that. It was a pity he didn't have a brother; maybe that would have solved things. Oh well, she'd leave him alone for a bit and see what happened. She'd have to tell her husband though and not let him start on the boy.

Terry watched the portable television in his room that evening. It had started raining about four o'clock, and it had steadily got worse. It was now pouring as hard as it possibly could. He wouldn't be able to go out in this; he'd be drenched before he'd gone a hundred yards. He wanted so badly to see Tobias again.

The evening crawled along with it being impossible to go out. He played a game on his Playstation computer to try and help, but couldn't keep an interest in it for long. Listening to some of his favourite music helped a little, and it eventually got to eleven o'clock. He went and had his bath before going to bed. He was toying with the idea of bringing himself off whilst bathing, but then rejected that since he hated trying to dodge the congealed blobs floating in the water, most of which would tend to get caught in the very fine hairs on his lower legs. By the time he had dried himself and put on a clean pair of boxers, it was about five to twelve.

He sighed and lay back on the bed. The central heating was still warm, although it had turned off about half an hour ago, and his bedroom was still warm, so he was quite comfortable nude. Subconsciously, he played with himself gently, and ran his hands over his naked body as the church clock struck twelve. As it did so, he realised suddenly that he had aroused himself to a very full erection. His hunger and desire for Tobias quickly increased a hundredfold as he remembered his soft touch and his penis gave a serious twitch at the thought of last night's activities. Why did Tobias affect him so? Could it be that if he had known Tobias when he was alive he would have fallen deeply in love with him? He supposed that could be it because it made sense. It wasn't just a sexual thing although Tobias' body excited him enormously. He thought him very good looking; did Tobias see him the same way? Could it be that to Tobias he was desirable? He was just between average and slight build he supposed. Maybe even if he didn't think he was good looking, he might be pleasing to Tobias' eyes.

When Tobias had taken him and had his release in him, it had felt as though it was such a big thing for him, that Terry had been somebody that had pleased him sexually a great deal. Although this wasn't quite as important as actually loving him, it was as important in a way, because sexual satisfaction, he knew, would have kept them together. If only. Tears flowed.

Suddenly Tobias was with him.

"Why do you cry Terry? Are you unhappy?"

"Yes and no my friend."

"Ah! I am your friend?"

"Of course. I thought sharing each other was a kind of commitment of that, Tobias? If you were... But I love you anyway, no matter, for being kind to me and showing me such friendship."

Tobias smiled slightly. "Thank you Terry. Last night was good for both of us wasn't it?"

"Tobias, it felt so good to me I thought my balls were going to drop off! I had such a climax, the likes of which I've never had before. Excuse my hardness. I have to relieve myself most nights, or I can't get to sleep."

"I can't sleep with you tonight Terry, I have work to do, and another boy to help too. He needs my friendship as well as you. But I shall sleep with you Christmas night, Terry, after midnight. Meet me earlier, Christmas Eve, at the porch, and maybe I will let you meet the other boy. In any event I shall sleep with you after midnight."

"My parents go to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve, so we'll have to get back before they do Tobias."

"That's all right, we can do that; it's not a problem. But what about now? I told you I can't sleep with you again until Christmas, but I can help you with that if you need. It's much nicer when someone else does it isn't it?"

"Oh! You'll do that for me?"

"From what I am beginning to know of you Terry, I know you would do the same for me if I wanted it."

"You know I would."

"So what do you need?"

"I can't possibly ask what I'd like. If we were boyfriends, that might be different..."

"Oh I see. That's what you'd like would you?"

"I'd have to cover my face with a pillow, because I'd scream the place down with the pleasure it would give me." A tear trickled down Terry's face. "I really love you Tobias. You seem to know everything I want; everything that pleases me most, and what I need most too. I need you don't you see that?"

"I see someone very lonely, who longs for someone to love him and be kind to him; someone who needs another boy who loves boys. You and I are so much alike Terry, it's not surprising we like each other is it?"

"If you were alive like me Tobias, I'd never let you go. I'd follow you to the ends of the earth to stay friends with you."

"Are you sure? What would your parents say? Aren't you scared to tell them?"

Terry was quiet for a moment. "I guess I was, but now...? I don't think it matters anymore if they know. They'll just ignore me a bit more, but at least I'd have someone. They have to realise what I need too. It's not all about them; it's about me too."

"I'm glad to hear it. Well you've just a bath, you smell nice and clean. It might be a good idea to get that pillow ready..."

Terry only just made the pillow over his face before he was gasping and screaming his pleasure, almost completely muffled by his pillow. But even that couldn't entirely deaden the shriek of ecstasy that escaped him as he lost everything into the warm sucking wetness that engulfed him. He softened quickly, completely spent, and felt his now flaccid penis fall from the warmth. He took the pillow away from his face. Tobias had gone.

Well if he could have a relationship like this, even loving a ghost was better than nothing at all. If only Tobias were a warm living person. He'd share everything with him. He'd willingly give him half of everything he had, including his life and his love. He donned a clean pair of boxers, crawled into bed and turned out the bedside light.

He heard a voice whisper, "Goodnight Terry, see you tomorrow."

Without a second thought he murmured sleepily, "Goodnight my love."

* * * * *

He woke in the morning feeling astonishingly refreshed. His morning erection made him think immediately of the night before. God that had felt so good; better than he'd ever experienced before with anyone else, even Archie. He got up and went for a leak.

His morning erection now deflated, he got dressed and wandered downstairs. He hadn't eaten much yesterday, and he realised he was a bit hungry. His father had already gone to the boot sale, and his mother was getting ready to go to church.

"Are you feeling better today Terry? You were very moody yesterday. If you have problems, maybe we should sit and talk about them, dear."

"There's no point mother. Neither of you listen to what I'm saying. You just talk and you talk to me and tell me what I should do never what I might want, so what's the point of hearing it all again? If you really wanted to hear what is bothering me and what I want to do, then it would be different, but you never do."

His mother looked thoughtful. "I'll talk to your father. You know what he's like." Maybe it was time they started paying attention now he was older, or they'd end up with a son who hated them.

"That's most of the problem mother. My father never listens. He refuses to accept anything else than something that's come out of his head. He's a fool."

"Don't talk about your father like that!"

"You see? You're taking his side already, but you know I'm right. Until he starts to listen then it's useless. God, I'll never have any friends. If I did he'd frighten them off. If I came home with a friend one day and he frightened him off, I'd kill him, I really would!"

"Don't talk like that!"

"I mean it. He's screwing my life up! He wants me to be like him, and I don't want to be him. He's a total pillock."

His mother stood frozen in shock to hear his outburst. Maybe there really was something wrong this time. He'd never been this rebellious before. What were they doing wrong? Should they listen and take notice of what he wanted? She'd talk to the vicar. She was now sufficiently worried about the situation. Without another word she put on her coat and went out.

Terry made some toast and a cup of coffee, and then sat down at the kitchen table. Well he'd made his point. If his mother didn't listen then it was her fault. He didn't think his father would ever change his mind, because he was so self-centred. He finished his toast and had some cereal instead of making more. He didn't want to be nagged for using up all the bread. It smelled like the joint was already in the oven on a low heat, so dinner would be around half past one as usual. He'd better not miss that or his popularity would be at an even lower low, and anyway there wouldn't be much to eat around this evening. He had a little of his allowance left, so he thought he might go to the supermarket and get something he could take with him to the porch tonight.

He got his coat and picked up his wallet and keys. He went out. He was walking down the street towards the shops, thinking about what he should get. The weather forecast was predicting very cold weather again; he was glad he had the shelter of the porch and its tightly fitting doors, because even the meagre heat given off by two burning candles took the chill off the place under such draught proof conditions. `Actually,' he thought, `if it's that cold, stuff won't go off easily.'

He planned what he could buy. It needn't be sweets and the like, it could be proper food as long as it was precooked, and he could store it there so he had a bit of food reserved for when it was really cold and he was hungry. He got to the supermarket and went in. It didn't take him long to select a few things and pay for them. He didn't bother about drink, because he knew there were a few spare cans of Coke at home that he could take there. He went straight to the porch to store the food.

There was no chance of him running into his mother, because this wasn't the church she went to. The service was still on when he arrived, and storing his food, he could hear a hymn being sung. It must be a thick door he thought, because the sound was well muted, but he could feel the low pitch vibrations from the organ more than anything.

He left the food in the bag and stored it up on the shelf above the door out of sight. The hymn had stopped and he listened carefully with the door cracked open. There was no noise, so he slipped out. He decided not to go back his regular route in case he was spotted by anyone, so he made off across the other path through the churchyard.

He walked slowly not really taking much notice of where he was going, merely following the path without much thought. Until that is, he noticed a little way ahead a figure crouched over a grave. It was another boy about his own age at a rough estimate he guessed. The crouched figure in a black coat, half turned and Terry froze. The other boy leapt to his feet and ran, his torn and ragged clothes flapping in his passing. It took a few moments for Terry to come to his senses, because he could have sworn he'd just seen Tobias in the flesh. He took to his heels and chased after him, but after he'd made it to the street, he found there was absolutely no sign of him.

He retraced his footsteps until he was back where he had seen the boy. It was the only grave where the grass was neatly trimmed and the whole grave had a `cared-for' look about it. The grass was neatly trimmed and there were fresh flowers in a vase by the headstone. The inscription on the headstone read: `Here lies Tobias Bakerson, 1758 to 1773, aged Fourteen.'

For some reason he couldn't explain, a tear rolled down Terry's face. Why was that boy here? Had it been Tobias? It certainly looked like him; he could have sworn it was. He'd been the right height, build, same colour hair and everything. He couldn't be mistaken surely? And yet... there was no way he should have been able to see him during the daytime. Tobias had said so himself. He was tempted to pinch himself hard to make sure he wasn't dreaming, but he knew he wasn't. He lifted the flowers up and sniffed at them. There was a faint fragrance. The flowers had just been put there, but they weren't fresh. At a guess they'd been picked as the best from the flowers on the compost heap, put there by someone perhaps poor and having no money. He remembered the other boy's rags. That was a bit of a mystery. Tobias was always dressed in good clothes; at least sufficiently good considering his family's standing, given that his mother was trying to support the family. That was a good question indeed.

He made his way back home, but at each corner he took, he stopped and looked behind him. He had the utmost feeling that someone was watching him, following him, but he saw no one. Most peculiar. He was just about to enter his house when he caught sight out of the corner of his eye of something in black scurrying away from near the front gate. He ran back to the pavement, but there was nothing, no one. This was most peculiar; it couldn't be Tobias, because he wouldn't avoid him like that he was sure of it. Terry was mystified.

He sat and had his dinner in sullen silence. It was roast lamb, one of his favourites normally, but today he hardly even tasted it. Absent-mindedly, he burnt his tongue a couple of times on the roast potatoes, which jolted him back to reality and out of his daydream. The third time he did it, his father warned him to be more careful as the potatoes were scalding hot. There was golden syrup sponge pudding and custard after as well, and he had to take deep breaths after taking too big a bite several times. His mother frowned disapprovingly.

"For heaven's sake Terry, pay attention! You'll burn yourself badly in a moment. That syrup is too hot to just take a mouthful." She went back to her desert, ignoring him. If he wanted to burn his tongue, he'd just have to learn the hard way.

Eventually dinner was over, and he slunk off to his room. He had no homework to do; this close to Christmas, the teachers knew it was a waste of time. It just didn't get done most of the time. He put his small TV on and found a couple of programmes on that were watchable. He lay back on the bed and tried to figure out what he had seen, but it made little sense.

Inevitably at some stage he drifted off to sleep, and was later woken by his mother knocking at the bedroom door.

"Supper if you want some Terry?"

"Ok, thanks."

He might as well go and get something to eat; he thought it would be as well to go out fully fuelled against the cold. He imagined it wouldn't be much and he was right. It was just some sandwiches, cake, and a hot drink. Without a word he went back to his room afterwards, in order to avoid the row that looked like brewing.

He hadn't been wrong; he heard the shouting downstairs, and knew they were arguing over him. He didn't like his mother's attitude toward him very much, but she did stick up for him against his father. He dreaded to think what would happen if he ever wanted a friend to stay over ever again. His father hadn't liked Archie much even though his mother thought he was a nice polite boy. Why couldn't his stupid father just see that he needed a friend? Was he blind?

Much later, his parents had gone to separate bedrooms this evening he noted, no doubt because of the row. He lay on his bed, reading. There was no chance of any light escaping under his door; he'd seen to that problem a long time ago, claiming that he was fitting a draught excluder on the bottom of the door. The felt strip around the frame saw to it that no light escaped around the edges.

An hour and a half after they had gone to bed, he crept from the house and made his way through the back alleyways and pathways to the churchyard. It was a clear moonlit night tonight, so he kept to the shadows to remain unseen wherever possible, but in a shadow he did not see the fallen dead branch. It cracked loudly as he stepped on it. He froze, still as a statue in the covering gloom.

Suddenly he spied what might have been the same figure he'd seen earlier in the day, fleeing from the shadow of the church ahead. The black coat was tattered and flapped in his flight. Tobias waited, carefully stepping aside and putting the broken branch out of the way lest he should step on it accidentally again. It would have been good to have come upon the other boy unexpectedly to find out what he was up to. Well evidently he was hanging around here more frequently, that was twice in one day. Carefully now, he made his way to the shelter of his porch and slipped inside. He lit the two candles and pinned the card over the glass, then turned around to sit down.

That was when he noticed there was freshly spilled fluid on the wall opposite him. It had run down the wall partly leaving a wet stain, which was why he saw it so clearly. There was a considerable amount of it too, much more than his own ejaculation would have produced, and if the originator had sat where he was now it must have been an ejaculation of some force to spurt that far in that quantity and hit the wall so high up. He realised the candles had been burnt down more than he had left them. Had the other boy been relieving himself in here too?

Just then, Tobias appeared. He kept changing until he appeared solid flesh again.

"This is how you prefer me isn't it? We can do things together then can't we? I know you like doing that, and you please me too Terry."

"I do?"

"Oh yes. It's not just your physical love, but you see I sense your real love as well as the lust for my body. That makes it all the more intense."

"Is that why I had such a powerful orgasm last time Tobias? I would have given myself to you forever because of the way you made me feel."

"I know, I sensed that from you. In fact the feelings you were giving off were really very intense, Terry. It seemed you had such an exciting reaction to my being inside you."

"If only you were still alive Tobias, I would love you as a boyfriend. You are that much bigger than me because you are more built than me, and well, it's um, kind of, er, quite a lot bigger than mine, isn't it? It fills me so completely I can't help but feel good. And there been someone else here too, doing what I do. You know what I mean?"

"Yes Terry, I do know. That is the other boy I told you about. He has run away from home you see because his parents treated him so badly and hurt and abused him, and then they were killed in a car accident. He has no other surviving relatives. He hadn't eaten in three days Terry. I told him I thought you wouldn't mind him having some of your food. He found it, but wouldn't touch it until I told him to feed himself. You don't mind do you?"

Terry grabbed the bag from the shelf and peered in it. More than half of the food had been eaten. For a split second he was tempted to feel outraged, then just as quickly he stopped and thought. Hurt? Abused? A boy his sort of age? Instantly love flowed out to him, without a single sexual thought.

"You should have told him to take it all, Tobias. This was only to tide me over, but I get fed at home. I don't really need it. Tell him he can have the rest of it. He's welcome."

Tobias had a radiant smile on his face. "I'm so glad you said that Terry. I thought you were a caring sort of person, and you have just proved me right. But I had to be sure for his sake."

Terry closed the bag and put it back on the shelf. "I'll try and bring some more Tobias. There's not enough left there."

"I'm sure he would appreciate it."

"When I saw him by your grave, I think he was leaving some flowers. I tried to catch him, but he disappeared. He looked so much like you at a quick glance."

"Perhaps, from the angle you saw him he could do. We are more than a little alike actually; in colouring and size, that sort of thing you know?" Terry could have sworn Tobias had a slight smirk on his face.

Carefully he said, "Do you mean he's built like you are sexually?" he asked timidly.

"Maybe bigger even," replied Tobias, trying to hide another smile more successfully this time.

"And that's why he managed to exude this," he pointed at the huge glob of still thick sticky goo on the wall. He pushed his finger against it, and a large sticky lump stuck to his finger and came away.

"That's partly right, and no, it's not infected with anything. He's not a street boy, not yet at least. He's clean in body," he said, knowing Terry's mind. Without further thought, Terry had lifted his finger to his mouth and cleaned it, his eyes closed.

"I could love him," said Terry, simply.

"Yes, I know that now, and I think you should meet him to make sure; maybe at Christmas? That would make him so happy Terry, to know someone cared."

"I want to help him, Tobias. I won't be able to be here tomorrow night. We have to go to a relation's party and won't be back until late. I doubt I'll be able to creep out after that. I'll bring more food early in the day."

"That is very noble of you Terry. I am so pleased you want to help him. It would mean so much to him to know he had someone who would be a friend to him. And don't worry about tomorrow night."

"Maybe he would be a friend to me too?"

"I can't speak for him Terry, as well you know; he'll have to make his own mind up about that. But I would hope he might reciprocate your feelings. It would do you both good."

"Ok, I know. Tell me one thing. You said it was partly the way he was built, sexually, but obviously there was another factor. How come he shot it so high?"

"Do you want the same as him?"

"Yes, willingly."

"Then take my hot stiffness in your soft mouth and let's make love to each other..."

Terry lay on the broad oak seat, gasping. His orgasm when it came was almost painful. He had never ever known anything like it, not even the night before. He thought he had tried to cum his balls and all, it was so intense. He had done all he could to make Tobias' climax as pleasurable as he possibly could. Indeed, Tobias had let loose a great cry and sob as a torrent of boy cum flowed from him. Terry had to swallow quickly not to let any spill. This time he seemed to be able to taste it even stronger. All he remembered was a small voice whispering, "Well done my love, that was so beautiful."

When he got his breath back and sat up, he found Tobias had gone. He looked at the wall. His own emission was a whole foot higher on the wall than the other goo, and was running down in a great sticky stream. He sat there and recovered for a whole five minutes more. Then he was on his feet, tidying up, blowing the candles out and removing the card.

When he left he didn't leave the door open for long; it was too cold to let too much cold air in. Just a little fresh air to renew the oxygen. It still stunk of sex in there. Maybe the boy would smell it and cum again, being turned on. He hoped Tobias made him feel as good as he did for Terry. He hoped he had made Tobias feel good too. A warm feeling spread through his body as though in recognition of the thought, and he felt his erection rise and felt as though it had been stroked.

"I love you too Tobias," he whispered, knowing somehow Tobias would know what he'd said. He made his way silently home and back to bed. He was almost on the point of going to sleep when the realisation hit him.

If he was gay and did things with Tobias, and this other boy did the same, and Tobias had made sure that he had feelings for this boy too. What did this mean? Could it be that the other boy was truly gay like him? Maybe Tobias had been testing him to find his reactions. He was glad he hadn't complained about the food. How terrible to be on your own. He must feel so frightened and lonely. Terry thought about it more and more and eventually cried himself to sleep.

* * * * * * *

The next day he was up early. He found as many candles as there were left and a couple of packets of matches from the back of a kitchen drawer, leaving just one box for emergencies. He also scavenged all he could in the way of food. A little of this and that, some cake, sweets, crisps, a bottle of fizzy drink, and a litre of bottled water; it was better than nothing. He still had a very little money; but he'd buy something else on the way, something a little more substantial.

He went out and down to the church as soon as he could, buying a cooked meat pie on the way. Once he was in the churchyard, he kept a lookout to see if the other boy was around. Once or twice he could have sworn he was being watched but even if he turned around quickly, there was no sign of anyone else. He went into the porch and started storing the supplies. He noticed the candles had been further burnt and then saw the fresh deposit of semen. The boy had come back here last night to sleep, and had needed even more sexual release. It was probably warmer in here than anywhere else, and he'd probably been comfortable in shedding his seed freely. He'd certainly done that all right; there was more deposit than last time, and actually it was quite fresh he thought, almost warm. It had made him hard thinking about it. He unzipped himself and pulled his stiffness free. He scooped the stickiness and spread it on his length, and then his fist flew. He had to sit down to support himself, and he leaned back against the wall.

He kept thinking of Tobias and the feel of his penetration inside him. He couldn't take anymore; he burst with his semen flying everywhere. Jeez, he'd been so turned on knowing it was the other boy's semen that had lubricated him! He was sure now he'd probably like sex with him, no matter what. Very like Tobias sexually? He'd go crazy! He'd probably half rape the poor kid if he really felt like Tobias. No. No he wouldn't. He'd be gentle and caring and loving, until he knew the kid was ok. Then they'd have wild sex afterwards if they both want it.

They might be such friends, he thought. It could be wonderful. He wondered if Tobias would still be around or not. If this was his `mission' to bring the two of them together, then he'd be `moving on'. He could only feel happiness for him at that thought. He'd be reunited with his brother and the rest of his family he supposed. But if he had to stay, at least between them they could give him continued friendship. Friendship with a ghost; he found that quite amusing really.

He packed everything away and left, heading quickly back home. Well at least he'd let Tobias know he wouldn't be able to come tonight. Would Tobias come to him after they were back he wondered? It was possible he supposed, but more than likely he'd stay with the other boy. It would be kinder than leaving him on his own. At least he would have something to eat again tonight. He got back in and found that his mother was preparing a light snack and his father was at work. It was his last day at work before Christmas, and they had the office party. He wouldn't be staying there long, Terry knew, since he hardly drank at all. That was a blessing since he had an ugly temper on occasions.

His mother, at least, was in a more amenable mood today.

"Hello Terry, where have you been?"

"Oh just out running a few errands."

"Oh right. Bump into anyone you knew in your travels?"

"Only the girl at the checkout." To hell with it, he'd mention it. "I bought some food with my allowance you see."

"Oh? Why did you do that?"

"I've found a new friend mother, only..."

"Only what? It's good to hear you have a new friend though."

"He needs somewhere to live mother. His parents hurt and abused him, and he's living rough. He's around my age."

"Living rough in this weather? It shouldn't be allowed! Abused you say? Do the Police know?"

"No mother and they mustn't know yet. It would ruin Christmas for him. Mother, I want him to stay here for Christmas. You say you are a Christian, well do the Christian thing and let him stay. His own parents are dead in an accident."

She was speechless for a bit, just staring at him. Then:

"But Terry, imagine what your father would say; a stranger under our roof?"

"If he steals or breaks anything, I'll leave with him. I'm serious mother. He's had enough of a bad time as it is. Show a little mercy won't you? I'll hide him in my room if you like."

"Perhaps you'd better for the moment; I don't know how your father will take this."

"We're like brothers, mother, I know it," Terry said somewhat uncertainly, but with fingers crossed behind his back. "It could be he won't want to come here, but I know he needs people so badly mother."

"Very well. For Christmas then, at least. If your father objects I'll deal with him. Does he have clean clothes?"

"I doubt it mother. He had to leave everything I think; perhaps he can recover things later on. I can find him something clean to wear anyway, but I expect he'll need a bath sometime. I'll organise it. I'll say I'm taking one and then we can share. But mother he will need food. I expect he will be very hungry."

"A good job we have a large turkey and plenty of food for Christmas then. When is he coming?"

"Sometime Christmas Eve night mother. It may be late, so don't stop up; I will see to him personally, since I have asked you to let him stay."

"Very well. I'll give you something to take up to your room early in the evening, for him to eat when he gets here."

"Thank you mother."

"Now then, you'd better wash and get ready to go out; take a quick shower or something."

"Very well mother, I shall be on my best behaviour today as a thank you for allowing my friend to share our house for Christmas. Maybe even you'll like him enough to let him stay here; I know I would."

As he disappeared for his shower, she wondered. Could this be what he needed? He'd referred to him as like a brother. If only his twin had never died; that had really been a tragedy. He'd never really been the same since, she considered, even though he had been too young at four months to even remember, it must have affected him. She and her husband never spoke of it. Maybe, just maybe...

The day out at his aunt's house wasn't exactly enthralling, but amusing in some ways. He had a just-fifteen year old cousin, who he always had a muckabout with when he went there. They dispatched themselves to his bedroom to play his computer games, whilst the older generation had a catch up on gossip. William was a late developer. He knew about sex, but had never done it, and up until last Christmas, hadn't even gone through puberty. He used to like it when they got in a `play' wrestle situation. They both knew each other were as hard as it was possible to get, but pretended to ignore it, their crotches grinding together until they both shook with their own pleasure. Whoever came first would quietly wait until the other got on top and brought himself off too.

It looked like William was trying to do the same thing yet again, but this time there was a difference; he'd gone through puberty, and so had Terry. He was incessantly trying to stare at Terry's crotch to see the outline of his genitals, and accidentally bumping into him and feeling them. Terry deliberately lay back on the bed with a full erection, and his cousin just stared at the hugely tented trousers, and became just as badly afflicted. Terry figured William didn't know what to do next. Perhaps he was scared he'd give himself away this time, so perhaps he'd take the initiative.

"If you want a wrestle, perhaps you ought to come and lie on the bed with me William? It seems like you do?"

William eagerly scrambled onto the bed beside him and lay facing him. Terry could see he was as hard as could be right now. He turned onto his side and was only a couple of inches between them. Their penises were already touching and he felt William's throbbing wildly.

"Let's face it William, we don't even have to play at wrestling do we? We both know what we really want don't we?" He moved even closer. They were sharing breath and William was obviously intoxicated by it. He moved his slim hips very slowly and his hardness rubbed against Terry who breathed heavily.

"Is that what you want Terry, like I do? Please say yes," he whispered.

"I've always liked doing it with you William, feeling your hardness against me, wanting you to feel me too. But now if we're not careful we shall wet our pants shall we not? I want to do it right to the finish as I'm sure you do?"

"Oh yes!"

"Then if you have a dirty towel, one you've already used will do, place it under us on the bed, and we'll lower our trousers and underpants, so that we touch properly this time." William practically passed out with the lustful thought of flesh against flesh. "Why don't you unbutton my trousers and hold me William, and I'll do the same to you?"

"You really want to?" asked William excitedly.

"We both do don't we?" suggested Terry. He had moved close enough that their lips were touching and now William was holding him and giving him ultra light kisses and he was returning them. "I think we ought to put that towel down before we go much further William. I might cum more than once!"

"You can do that too?"

"Yes sometimes."

"Well I have to. I usually cum more the second time than the first."

"Really? That could be useful."


"Let's get the towel down."

William fond a towel and then moved a heavy unit across the edge of the door to preventing it opening. He spread the beach towel on the bed.

"We might want to move around a bit," explained William. "And the bed doesn't squeak either," he smirked.

He's trying to look clever, thought Terry. Well he'd show him who was the expert here.

"You've never had proper sex before have you William? Let's not muck about this time; we both know what we'd like and what we need and that's sex with each other. We know we are going to turn each other on by touching our dicks together. It's how we do it that's the main thing. I personally don't mind which way you want to do it, as long as you're honest with me and tell me, because then we'll both enjoy it more. I know you're gay like me, because otherwise you wouldn't always get hard when you see me William."

William blushed to the very roots of his hair. "I didn't dare say anything to you, in case, you know?" he looked at me pleadingly.

"Oh yes, I've been there all right, and been embarrassed as hell myself, not being sure what to do or say. So are you gay or not? Be honest, please. I am I think."

He blushed again. "Yeah I think I am. I find you much more interesting than any girls I've ever seen."

"Pity we live so far apart then, or we could have sorted this out long ago." They had travelled for three hours before arriving, and would be similarly late back. That was why he hadn't promised to be down the church tonight. He didn't think his new friend would mind him having a gay cousin. A threesome might be fun sometime, he thought.

Later, they lay together, just mellowing out in the afterglow of sex. William had willingly lost his virginity and filled Terry satisfyingly with two very large ejaculations. He had kissed Terry for a long time and Terry realised how much it meant to him really to have been able to penetrate him after all these years. William told him he had been wishing it for the last six years or so. A couple of years ago they had shared a bed, and William confessed that he had greased his penis and managed to penetrate Terry while he was totally in deep sleep. He hadn't dared move though in case he woke him, but had got very dirty for his trouble. At four in the morning he had to go and wash himself!

Terry smiled at this and told him that he had often made William get very hard in his sleep by gently stroking him! They agreed that if Terry's new friend was willing they'd meet up one holiday and have a fun time between them!

They had cleaned themselves thoroughly afterwards, and then made their way downstairs; their parents were individually pleased that their sons were in such good humour. They had a late high tea, and then a further hour in William's bedroom, in which Terry brought William to orgasm again just by taking hold of his stiff flesh and rubbing it gently against his own. He had then amazed William by taking his rapidly softening member and sucking it clean, which made William go bug-eyed.

"My god Terry! What it's like to do that?" Terry had already cleaned William's sperm off himself, but was still fairly firm.

"You want to try and make me shoot William?" He lay back and let William consider. He didn't take long deciding, and Terry didn't take long having a wonderful orgasm, which William had for supper. Laughing they cleaned their teeth afterwards so that Terry's breath didn't smell of William's juice, in the car going back. In fact, in the car going back, Terry napped and let his brain remember the feeling of quite a nice chunky William sliding inside him. For the first time, Terry had enjoyed playing with his cousin. He had held him carefully, and felt him respond to his gentle touch. That somehow was erotic to him, and in the inky blackness of the car he was very stiff indeed.

Mentally he groaned to himself. His stiffness was painful almost and he needed a boyfriend to be with anytime he wanted a little loving. This newfound sex thing wasn't bad he decided. And it would be even better with a warm naked body sleeping next to him. His new lover he hoped.

* * * * * * * *

It was gone two o'clock when they got back and they were all tired. They had a last warm milk drink and retired to bed via the bathroom.

Terry stripped naked, then got out a clean pair of boxers to put on. He had seeped a bit in the other pair in the car coming back, and didn't want it all over the sheets. He was clambering into bed when Tobias appeared.

"Have you had a nice day Terry?"

"I found out after all this time I have a gay cousin Tobias." He gave a rather wry smile. "I'm kind of drained I guess in more ways than one. Having said that, I would never deny you friend, if there's anything I can do for you."

"In a moment perhaps. I am keeping our other friend company tonight."

"Was there enough food?"

"He said to thank you and you will see him tomorrow night."

"For sure? I've asked that he can stay you know?"

"Yes I know. I will tell him tonight. I didn't wish to disappoint him before I was certain."

"Tell him from me Tobias, he is loved, whatever his circumstances."

"But Terry, what if I told you he is disfigured? Would you still love him then? Let me show you. He was disfigured by a childhood illness." The apparition was changing. In his place stood a boy with a slightly hunched back and a cruelly disfigured face.

Terry's face was a look of horror, and then tears streamed down his face.

"Oh no. After all else he has had to endure, not this cruel trick as well? It's not fair Tobias. Can nothing be done for him? I will love him if that will help, but can no one else help him?"

Tobias was smiling at him. "Terry you have helped me help this boy, and as you are a very loving person you will find your reward. You have allowed me to do the job I had to do. Tomorrow night, I shall pass on and leave the two of you together."

As appalling as Tobias looked now as the boy, Terry took him in his arms and kissed him nevertheless. A surprising warm glow filled him, and he felt totally at peace. He lay back on the bed, and Tobias drew the covers over him, and he fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

* * * * * * * *

And of course the next day was Christmas Eve.

Terry woke up around eight feeling absolutely fine. Today was the day. He would meet his new mate. Good heavens! He realised he didn't even know his name. `Stephen' a voice whispered in his head.

"Stephen?" he said out loud. `Yes' his brain said. "Ok, I'll take your word for it Tobias." Somehow he felt a smile.

He dressed in his better clothes today, and went down for breakfast. His mother was already busy in the kitchen, making mince pies and cheese pastry fingers, something they all loved. No doubt she would do a few other favourites too. Terry figured any food would be a favourite for Stephen!

"Anything you want from the shops mother? Anything last minute you need?"

"Well if you want to go out rather than sitting around getting bored, yes there are a few small bits and pieces I thought of, and I suppose another carton of milk wouldn't go amiss, just in case. Your father has gone out to get a tree and some new decorations. I expect he'll need a hand with those this afternoon. Do try and make peace with him Terry. I told him you're having someone to stay. He didn't say a word, so he's trying at least. It would be so nice if we could have a Christmas without a row this year."

A shopping list later, and money tucked safely in his pocket, Terry set out to collect all the extras his mother could possibly think of. She'd said he could keep the change, which would leave him enough to get a "sock" filled with sweets for Stephen. Clothes, he would willingly share everything that he owned. It wasn't much, but better than nothing he decided. First though, he'd go to the church and see what was happening, if anything.

He almost ran there in his excitement. Then he remembered that Tobias wouldn't be around yet anyway, and maybe not Stephen either, so he slowed to a more sedate pace. There wasn't a soul to be seen as he walked slowly through the churchyard. He deliberately walked past Tobias' grave. It was neat and tidy as before, and again there were another lot of `fresh' flowers. He smiled slightly. It certainly seemed Stephen was grateful to Tobias. He walked on to the church and their porch shelter.

The candles had been used again, that was for sure. All but a small amount of food was gone; just enough left for a snack for a little later, as though Tobias had told him he would have a proper place and food tonight. That was fine then. He looked around and was amazed what he found on the wall. Three massive deposits had run down the wall part of the way. Part was thick goo that refused to move further. But the amount! He must have had a colossal orgasm. And then he thought what might happen when the two of them were together and just how much he might excite Stephen. He could imagine the feel of his stiffness pulsing and all that juice of life being pumped inside him, and it resulted in the usual reaction. If he had not been saving it for tonight, he would have had to relieve himself there and then.

He left soon thereafter and went and did the shopping. He was coming out of the supermarket when he spotted a hooded black clad figure about fifty yards away suddenly stop and as though he'd seen him, dash away until out of sight. He wondered why. Surely it wouldn't matter if they met now? It was a mystery to him.

He got back home and unpacked the shopping bags. He put some of the things away in the cupboards, so that the kitchen wasn't cluttered. He could hear his father wrestling with the tree and getting it in the pot in the bay window in the front room. He grabbed the kettle. His mother looked as though she could do with one, as could he.

"Just putting the kettle on father. Do you want one?"

"Oh! Yes put enough in for me as well then please Terry." Hmm, thought Terry, more pleasant than usual. Ok, he'd do his best too. "I'll have a coffee please, and er, could you come and help me with this tree? I need you to hold it whilst I secure it. I don't have enough hands."

"Ok, be with you as soon as the kettle boils."


He made a coffee for his father and a tea each for his mother and himself. He put the tea down for his mother and she smiled, and picking up his father's coffee and his own tea, he went through to the lounge. He put their drinks down on the table on coasters, and went over to help his father.

"If you can just hold the tree vertical, I'll wedge the stem in the pot with these bricks and then add the soil."

"Sure." He ascended the small stepladder and held the tree just down from the top. His father soon had it steady and secured and the pot filled.

"There. So much easier with two of us."

"Nice tree. Where did you get it?"

"Now that's a funny thing that. They'd just sold the last decent one where I normally go; they only had little puny things left. Then this lad shouts to me, and says if I want a bigger tree I should go to this other place. He gave me directions and I went. I'll be going back there again next year. Better quality trees I reckon."

"Er, forgive me asking, but what did he look like? This lad that told you I mean."

"Yes well funny that. A lad about your age at a guess, actually. Couldn't see what he looked like really. Hoody, you know? Can't tell what the kids look like with them on. It was a bit tatty though. Black, but a bit tatty. Weird. Talking of which..."


"Your mother tells me you want a friend to stay for Christmas."

"That's right."

"Terry it's not really the done thing to have friends round at Christmas. Family, yes, that's different. But your mother seems to think it might be of benefit if we allow it. Now I haven't said yes, and I haven't said no..."

"Father let me tell you something first. Stephen has no family to be with at Christmas. He ran away from home, because he was being mentally and physically abused with violence. Subsequent to that, his parents were both killed in a car crash. He's had to live on the street a while now. He had a little money to start with but now he's run out and has nothing. He needs a new family, and I need a friend. I'd prefer that he didn't go after Christmas, but I can't tell you what to do. Just don't say `no' till you've met him, please. Better to say nothing than `no'."

Terry picked up his mug and took a sip, and left the room, leaving his father quite speechless. So that was it. As Terry went up the stairs, his father called to him.

"Will you give me a hand with the decorations in a moment?"

"Ok. Ten minutes?"

"Fine." His father went through to the kitchen to have a ten-minute debate with his mother.

Terry had a quick debate with himself. His mother and father must have had a lengthy talk about this and it looked as though it was one of the few times his father had relented. Maybe the threat of him leaving had done enough to convince them, that he was deadly serious this time. Maybe they finally realised he didn't want whatever situation he was in to go on. But would they take on someone from outside the family? Terry knew it was asking a lot. Anyway, after about ten minutes he went down to help decorate, and while they decorated the tree and put up a few decorations around the downstairs rooms, his father managed to wheedle out of him about the bullying at school and the fact the same crowd inhabited the club. He said not to worry he would be dealing with that after Christmas.

Even if he wasn't actually popular, perhaps life might be more endurable at school. He wasn't over-worried about friends at school, as they tended to be short lived through rivalry and such like, but a friend like Stephen at home? And in bed? Now that was a different story altogether! Especially since he remembered Tobias telling him that Stephen was sexually much like himself, and Terry considered with a touch of lust, Tobias was a little sex bomb! He made Terry feel very full and turned into a buck rabbit when Terry enveloped him.

All things considered, the day went quite well, and Terry was hopeful that things might take a turn for the better. He even watched some TV downstairs with his parents, who were actually quite pleasant to him in return. They had enquired what time his friend would be arriving and Terry had just said that it would be very late indeed and for them not to worry about it, and that they would meet Stephen on Christmas morning. He asked if he could have a key as he might not be back with him until after they had gone to bed after attending Midnight Mass, and that if they did happen to hear him come back, that they did not get up, but leave it to the morning as he would be going straight to bed. He didn't mention the spare key he had for the back door as he didn't want them knowing about that.

They reluctantly agreed, but asked why it had to be so late. Terry explained with a little lie, that it was a matter of Stephen having to keep himself concealed until late at night to keep himself safe. Personally he couldn't understand why it couldn't be earlier, with the two of them meeting at the church, and going back to his place, with Tobias joining them later. He also wondered how his parents would react to Stephen's disfigurement. It didn't matter to him at all. Of course he cared, but only in as much as it bothered Stephen.

The film that had been on finished, and his parents made their hot drinks. Terry noticed that tonight they were both back in the large front bedroom, which was further away from his own. He put on his coat and waited until they too, were ready to go out.

"I won't go out to meet him until I know he is there. I don't want to be out on the streets this time of night even if it is Christmas," he pointed out. "I've got some sense you know."

"All right then, be careful," warned his mother. "We'll see you both in the morning then?"

"Yes. No too early though; it depends what time we get back."

"Ok. Just be careful now." They went out to Midnight Mass. Terry didn't understand why it was called that as it started at eleven, and usually finished just before Midnight.

It was a quarter past eleven; he'd leave it until half-past and then go. As he heard the church clock strike the half hour, he slipped the hood up on his jacket, having donned a scarf around the lower half of his face and drew the cord tight to seal the hood. It was bitterly cold out there tonight and snow was expected. There had been a lot of betting on it being a white Christmas. He let himself out quietly, and he hadn't even got as far as the front gate when the snow came down so thickly it was more like a blizzard, except there was no wind. It was like someone continuously shaking out a huge feather pillowcase. Terry made his way through the series of alleyways and paths to the churchyard. By the time he had got there, the snow was already almost an inch thick on the ground. The whole place was shrouded in an eerie silent pale whiteness. He carefully made his way to the porch, concealing his footsteps as carefully as he could. He let himself in and lit a candle. One would do for tonight. He checked the food bag, and it was as he suspected, empty. It was strange though, where and why Stephen hid himself away, unless it was something to do with a request from Tobias. It was ten to twelve.

Midnight came and went. It wasn't until about a quarter past that he heard anything. There were definitely a series of footfalls approaching the door. It opened and someone in a tattered black hoody entered, followed by an extraordinarily pale Tobias. Terry made to take off his coat.

"Don't get undressed Terry; I don't have a lot of time left; perhaps an hour at the most, and I need to talk to both of you and get things settled."

Terry still couldn't see the boy's face, as likewise his own was mostly concealed against the cold weather.

"Are you Stephen?" he asked very gently.

"Yes," replied the very slightly smaller figure. "And you are Terry?" he enquired nervously.

"Naturally," he replied more boldly, "and I want to be your friend, your new brother, and... if you like me... maybe more..."

"I am willing Terry. I too am gay, and if you find you like me enough..."

"Of course I will, Stephen."

"I suggest we go to your house as quickly as possible, Terry," interrupted Tobias, "and I can stay then until I am called. The two of you will be with me then at my passing. I would like that if you would do that for me."

"Of course Tobias. Why wouldn't we? You have been instrumental of us coming together."

"I had promised to sleep with you both tonight, but alas, I cannot. I have to move on before that. I have no doubt at all that between you, you will make up for my absence and give each other what you so desire, and I shall be happy for you. So if it's all right with you, we ought to get going."

"Certainly. My parents will be back and asleep in bed by the time we get there. We will have to be quiet going in Stephen, but Tobias doesn't have that problem. They know you are coming, and haven't been negative at all so far, so I am very hopeful." They set off, Terry having blown the candle out and stowing it. Perhaps someone else might need it one day...

"It will be fine Terry; I have been told that you need not worry."

"Who by, may I ask?" ventured Terry as they moved quietly down an alleyway.

"You may not! And anyway I cannot tell you, as I do not yet know their name. I say name as that is the term you are familiar with, but on the other side it is not quite like that. Please do not ask anymore. You may think this strange, but I am getting weak and it's easier to get to your place for me in a form unseen. I will wait for you in your bedroom, Terry."

"All right Tobias, don't eat all the food though!"


"I already took up some food for Stephen, in case he was hungry."

"I see. Well although I would love to taste food again, I can't, so no worries!" he smiled and faded from their sight.

They passed into another pathway between gardens and it was quite dark here. Terry stopped suddenly and Stephen bumped into him as he turned around.

"Oh I'm sorry! I wasn't expecting you to stop."

"It's all right." Terry opened his arms to him. "May I hug you?" he asked quietly.

A very quiet whispered reply came: "I thought you'd never ask."

The next moment they were clung to each other hugging, but with them being wrapped up in coats like they were, it was a little difficult.

"When we are in bed naked together," ventured Stephen, "I so want to kiss you Terry."

Still hugging him tight, Terry replied, "Tobias told me that sexually you are much like his size, and I so want you to have your wicked way with me! I want you to take me if you wish Stephen. I have longed for a mate for so long."

"So have I Terry, so have I. I need sex a lot actually, and actually you'll find I'm quite a bit bigger than Tobias actually. He told me you were not much different to him, but that doesn't matter a bit Terry; it's your love I need most."

"That you will definitely get Stephen, and you may get more of me than you bargained for. Although I went through puberty over a year ago, I've only just started really growing. Perhaps we shall be good at giving each other the best of physical pleasure too, once I'm properly grown."

"Come on Terry, let's get going. I can't wait to be with you."

They set off again, this time arm in arm and to hell with the world. Love was growing between them; they both knew that. Terry was puzzled. When they'd hugged, he'd surreptitiously felt Stephen's back, but couldn't find the deforming hump at all, and when he thought about it, Stephen had been doing something similar to him. Maybe it wasn't quite as obvious to feel. He wondered how bad his face really was. Maybe that wasn't quite as bad either?

It didn't take long before they arrived back, arm in arm, seen only by an invisible Tobias who smiled to himself as they hugged again. If you could hear a ghostly sigh, you would have heard the long sigh of relief he gave then. These two were so right for each other; they'd made that decision for themselves already. He moved back to the bedroom as they quietly entered the house and made their way upstairs. They crept through Terry's door and shut it behind them gently. Tobias was sat on the bed waiting, seeming paler than ever.

"One thing Stephen, I thought, to be very honest with you that I would be asking you to take a bath before we went to bed tonight, but to be honest you smell very clean actually. How come?"

Steven shook slightly, evidently laughing. "I have a `friend' at the local sports club. In exchange for letting him give me oral sex once a day, I was able to stay in the warm and use the showers and put some clothing in the club laundry. He bought me a pair of white underpants which whilst my clothes were being washed, I had to er, `stain' as much as possible before taking a shower or go swimming. I had to sit in the laundry room and sweat in them as well. I guess it was a small price to pay for keeping warm and clean. Oh he wasn't some dirty old man, he's seventeen. But I just didn't fancy him at all; because there was no love, just lust."

"I see. Well that explains that. I suppose we might as well get undressed and into bed to keep warm. Is that ok for you Tobias. Perhaps if you have enough energy left you would like a last hug?"

"I'd like you to do one thing for me. I want all of us to be naked together one last time. Yes a hug in friendship, not in sex, would be nice Terry. When I have gone, I expect you to want to make love to one another anyway, but my imminent passing prevents me from that, so I should be grateful if you would wait until then. I am allowed to keep memories of you two naked together though, and with me. To me you are both beautiful."

That was being kind to Stephen, thought Terry. To say that even in his disfigurement, Stephen was beautiful was a very kind gesture, and he warmed more toward both of them.

"So just reserving a last surprise, I want you two to get completely undressed facing away from each other, because as yet you haven't really seen each other have you? I can watch you both undress and chose my memories of each of you. A smooth thigh here, a luscious curve there. You understand? When I say, you may turn and see each other then come and hug each other, and me if you want."

They both nodded in agreement, and started to strip off, each putting his clothes over a chair at respective sides of the bed. Eventually they were both stark naked. It wasn't at all cold in the room thanks to the central heating, which had been left on tonight because of the snow, so they did not shiver.

"Well friends, I too am naked as well, so now we can all see one another properly," said Tobias quietly.

They turned and stared at each other in shock and disbelief. What Terry saw Stephen as was... Tobias. And Stephen saw Terry as Tobias too. Tobias had made himself visible to each boy as the other boy. But then as they stayed the same, the image of Tobias became fuzzy and shrunk slightly. The boy they then saw as Tobias now was hump-backed and his face was cruelly disfigured.

"Yes my friends, it is I who is disfigured. But I knew that if I made each of you think that the other was disfigured, and you still managed to find love for each other, then it could only be real love. So my friends, and I am proud to call you my friends, my very dear friends in fact, I would still like that hug from you."

They both moved towards him. As they touched, a thrill like an electric shock ran through them, and they all hugged together.

"I don't mind if you are not the most beautiful boy to look at, Tobias, it's the `you' inside that I love."

"Me too," added Stephen.

"You don't have to tell me either of you; I can sense it. So ok, you found each other through me, but you will be together, have no fear of that. Whatever your fears now, things will turn out fine for both of you. Now you must let me go, because I can feel my time is now and you must not touch me when that happens." He quickly kissed both of them. "Goodbye my friends, I will wait for you, wherever I am going..."

They stepped back and instead of a yellowy glow, Tobias' image began to turn whiter...and whiter... and smaller ... and smaller... Suddenly it got intensely white and bright and then faded quickly and disappeared.

They looked at each other. "He's gone Stephen."

"I know. He was so nice. I loved him Terry."

"So did I Stephen. But he wanted us to love each other too, and I know I could love you so easily."

"Can you? Really love me? I need that so much Terry. Tobias told me that you needed me too."

"He was right, I do. Like you, I need someone to truly love me, be a friend and companion and... and... lover too."

Stephen grinned. I like the last bit. Before we cuddle each other naked, can we get into bed? I think otherwise I might get so hard I'll never get it under the bed sheets. You are so gorgeous."

"Me? I think you're the good-looking one! Stephen, I want you to take me; make me yours. You understand what I'm asking? You may be bigger indeed, but I want you to use it on me, or rather, in me."

"If in doing that I can show my love for you in any way, I will. Can we just go to bed and have an ordinary cuddle together first? And anyway we can talk there."

"Willingly." They scrambled into bed and made themselves comfortable cuddled up side by side. "Oh by the way, if you take that cover off that plate there are some sandwiches for you." Stephen removed the cover. "I know you must be hungry. I won't ask you to clean your teeth afterwards!" Terry chuckled.

"I couldn't possibly eat that much," Stephen gasped. "Help me?"

"Maybe one or two," grinned Terry. "But I tend to be hungrier after sex!" he chuckled.

"I hope you enjoy being submissive to me Terry, because right now I need you really badly, just quickly. To relieve an excess."

Terry let himself be turned over, and taken. Stephen when aroused was huge compared to Tobias. But like Stephen had promised it was quick. One moment he was so full of something huge, and then Stephen was shaking and groaning and the eruption inside him began filling him. Then he felt sort of empty as he withdrew, and held Stephen close to him. He felt his hot erection press against a huge wet flaccid member.

"Don't ever leave me Stephen?" he whimpered.

"You are wonderful; I never want to, Terry. Happy Christmas Terry."

"Happy Christmas, lover. I'm sorry, I've only got a very small present for you I'm afraid Stephen. I had to spend most of my money on food."

"Why do you think you should have more? What have I got? I have got nothing Terry, just myself. All I can offer you is myself."

"I accept your offer," Terry said with a smile. Stephen giggled. "What?"

"It's strange. You were a choirboy? So was I. Remember the carol `In the Bleak Midwinter'? Think about the last couple of lines of the last verse, if you can remember them. I guess that's us too isn't it?"

Terry thought for a moment, running through the lines again, then tears trickled slowly down his face.

"Yes," he said. "That's us exactly. And that's all we had to offer Tobias, but it was enough..."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

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I hope you enjoyed this story and it wasn't too long and bored you half to death! Perhaps it even helped give you something to read over Christmas (yay!) / the Holiday Season (ugh!)