Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2010 18:04:31 EDT From: Mr Glute Subject: Junior Varsity Shit Faggot We have a problem on the football squad. It turns out that Troy, our star wide receiver, likes to eat shit out of other guys' assholes. We have our own selves to blame. The whole team's been ditching our girlfriends on Saturday nights. We have a big piss party in the locker room. We found a couple of piss pigs who actually pay money to come to our parties (covers the beer expense). We get tanked up on beer. We piss all over the pigs and feed piss directly into their mouths. Our favorite pig is the Muscle Piss Pig. We met him in the bathroom at a local bodybuilding show. He's a hosepig who took a huge amount of piss through a funnel. Now he never misses our parties. Troy is just one of the guys. But he got weird at our last party. The Muscle Piss Pig was sucking piss out of Brent, our quarterback. Troy suddenly dropped to his knees and asked Brent to feed him some piss too. Brent was drunk and he's a no-judgement type of guy, so he gave Troy a big load of piss. But it was strange afterward. Troy didn't show up at practice all last week. We don't know where he went. I started driving around town looking for Troy. We're like brothers. We grew up together. So I wanted to get him back to practice and to the dorm. Plus I figured he was just acting weird and would snap out of it. I saw Troy's car at the truck stop on the Interstate, so I parked and went into the mini-mart. No sign of Troy. I went to the rest room to piss. Sure enough, Troy was in the last stall. No mistaking his sneakers. As I washed my hands, this hot looking Arab dude entered the stall next to Troy's. I didn't know what to do, so I just waited a while. It was just me and the two of them in the rest room. I felt kind of awkward standing there, so I went into a third stall next to the Arab dude. I freaked out when I saw there were huge holes between each stall. My hole was a little higher than Troy's so I could see him on the other side of the Arab's stall, but he couldn't see me. The Arab dude took a big dump and groaned as he dropped his shit in the toilet. I heard Troy say, "That was a hot dump. Do you have another one?" "Yeah, there's more where that one came from," he responded. "But I need a full cleanup from this one first." Troy stuck his tongue through the hole and said, "Certainly, sir! Oh yeah! It's caked on thick and nasty!" The dude backed up towards Troy's mouth and pulled his ass cheeks apart with his hands. Troy licked and sucked the filthy asshole. There was muck all over Troy's mouth. Troy said, "I need more shit. Give me a big log. Don't sit on the toilet. Sit on my mouth." The guy stood right next to the hole and pushed one out. It was big and round and Troy opened wide. Most of it went into Troy's mouth but some of it slopped onto Troy's lips and his face. Troy moaned with contentment. He chewed the log and swallowed it down. He kept pushing his face against the dude's asshole, rubbing and smearing himself. I could see his tongue sticking through the shit and moving around wildly. Then the Arab dude started verbally humiliating Troy. He called Troy a "low-life toilet queer." "You fucking shit faggot!" he called him. "Do you ever leave this place?" "No sir," Troy responded. "I've been here every day this week. I'm a human toilet, and this is my feeding hole." This whole experience freaked me out. The problem was bigger than I realized, so I decided to leave. I needed to talk to Brent before I could figure out how to intervene with my shit-eating friend.