Date: Sun, 12 Mar 2000 00:09:13 -0800
From: bawdypen@hotmail.com
Subject: CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY IN JEST!

   Rex and I were glad the weekend had come. After working all week, we
were looking forward to some excitement. We snorted a couple lines of speed
then decided to go and check out the new band at the Stud Heaven Club. We'd
heard about them. Five guys called Raunch who could deliver hard-driving
rock 'n roll.  Grubby and intense, they were kinda reminiscent of the early
Rolling Stones.  Supposedly they had a lead singer that was really hot!
   We got there early...in time to get a good seat and have a couple of
beers before they came on. They were an up-and-coming band that was just
beginning to get a lot of notice. Like many other straight acts, they found
it easier to get bookings in gay clubs and delighted in the enthusiastic
audience response. In turn, they added little touches to their performance
to give themselves a teasingly homoerotic appeal.  Things like two guys
singing cheek-to-cheek into one microphone, and the lead singer prancing
around, moving his buttocks in a suggestive manner. The audience went wild
when he'd wiggle at the lead guitarist, only to have the guy go into wild
screeching guitar spasms while he rubbed his knee sensuously into the
singer's crack!  It was all for show, but everybody went wild. Especially
Rex.
   "Wow! They're really hot! That lead singer is a fox. Oh, man, look at
the way he squirms that little ass! You sure they're straight?"
   "That's what I hear," I replied. "Too bad, hunh?"
   "You know it. Man, what an ass! He's so fuckin' hot! I could lick turds
outta his ass!"
   I laughed, and agreed. Nasty suggestions about guys' asses were
common. I always liked the one: Man, he could sit on my face for a week!
Or, I'd eat a mile of his shit just to see where it comes from! They did a
couple more numbers. We were getting hornier by minute. The speed, beer and
sexy guys on stage were making us silly.
   Rex gushed across the table, "Wouldn't you just LOVE to have him naked
and order you to do all kinds of nasty things to him?"
   "That'd be hot!" I agreed, noticing a wild sparkle in Rex' eyes. He was
really turned on by the long-haired punk in Levi's. The more the singer
gyrated his bottom and thrust his crotch at the crowd, the more excited Rex
became. He even started to push his foot between my legs under the table!
Rex and I were only friends--but fuck-buddies who could always rely on each
other for some hot sex. I smiled at him, knowing that tonight would be one
of those nights where we'd enjoy going home and fucking each other's brains
out! It made my ass twitch a bit, knowing how much Rex liked eating
asshole! Any time he'd described a sexual encounter to me, he always paid
more attention to a description of the guy's ass. And with all the tricks
I'd had, not one of them had rimmed me like Rex!
   The band took a break. They all headed for the bar. While the other
members got back up on stage and retreated near the rear in a casual
huddle, the singer sat on the edge of the stage, his legs spread in a butch
pose, and slowly sipped his Budweiser. He was directly in front of us. He
smiled and wiped the sweat from his neck by pulling up his T-shirt,
displaying his tautly muscled stomach.
   He slid closer to us. In a conspiratorical whisper, he asked, "How're we
doin', guys? We never played a gay club before, but you guys sure go wild
with the applause! Is it real, or just because we're trying to...you know,
play up the gay angle? Is that coming across?"
   "You're hot!" Rex gushed.
   "You got great sounds, no shit, " I said. "You guys're gonna go places.
As far as playing up the sex angle, well...it's working, believe me." Then,
either because I was getting a little drunk, or because his sexy eyes were
innocently boring a hole through me, I said something in fun that I was
soon sorry for. "Yeah, it's working alright. Squirming your butt around on
stage, you sure got my friend hot.  He said he'd gladly lick turds outta
your butt! That's how hot you're makin' him!"
   Rex gasped, and looked at me in terror. How could I embarrass him in
front of this hot straight guy? He blushed crimson and tried to talk, but
only strangled, gutteral sounds came from his throat. I knew then I'd
really pulled a boner. He covered his face in shame.
   But the singer merely smiled and leaned across the table. Pulling Rex'
hand from his face, he asked him, point-blank, with an evil smile on his
face, "Did you say that?"
   "I...I..." Rex stammered.
   "Did you say it?" the guy demanded, seemingly amused.
   "Well, yeah..." Rex admitted, shrugging his shoulders as if it meant
nothing, "but..."
   "Listen," the singer looked back at the other band members, "come with
me!" He got up, his fully-packed crotch at eye-level, and motioned for us
to follow him. Mesmerized or something, we did. He led us to the back and
into the manager's office. Once inside, he closed and locked the door.
   "Come on," he ushered us into the manager's private toilet. He closed
and locked that door, also.
   Since coming through the first door, he'd been rubbing his crotch. Sex
was in the air, and his manner gave us the impression of a straight guy
itchy to get a good blowjob from a couple of faggots. Okay, we were more
than willing, yet a little apprehensive at being caught.
   "What if the manager comes in?" I asked.
   "Don't worry about him," he assured. "I hadda let the bastard blow me to
get this gig! You guys kneel down. One on each side of the toilet."
Obediently, but confused, we got in position.
   "Why here?" I asked. "Why not in the office...you locked that door,
didn't you?"
   "Yeah, but I figured this would be better for a cleaner drop." He was
facing away from us. He yanked a few snaps and bent over, pulling his
Levis' and shorts straight
 down, sticking his naked ass right out at our faces!
   "Hunh? Whadda you mean 'a cleaner drop'?" I asked.
   Looking back over his shoulder, he said, "You know, so you can lick
it. You don't want it fallin' on the carpet, do ya?"
   "Hell, we'll suck up your load!" Rex cried. "It ain't gonna fall on no
carpet. We can promise you that!"
   "Aw!" he bent over. "Not my load, man, MY TURD! I'M GONNA GIVE YOU MY
TURD! Had lotsa fags blow me, but I never had a guy lick my turd! I've
heard about guys like you, but I never met one. Excites the hell outta me!
Want me to push it out now? You gonna lick all over it?!"
   "HEY!" I yelled, "You got it all wrong, man. Sayin' he'd like to...to
lick your turd was just an expression, you know? It just meant he digs your
ass. He'd love to rim you, I'm sure of that...so would I! But, this is
crazy!"
   Scooting around, his Levi's hanging at his ankles, he presented us with
a powerfully long, hard prick. Grabbing both of us behind the head, he
guided our mouths to his shaft.  Willingly, we worked our tongues over his
hard prick! Looking into each other's eyes, we slurpped up and down his
straight, steely pecker! He encouraged us by pushing our faces tighter
against it.
   "Gee, fellas," he said in a sing-song voice, "I guess I got my signals
crossed. Umm...  lick it! Those things you said, I guess I just took them
too seriously, hunh? Oooh...you do like licking that cock though, don't ya?
Sure is a shame, though. Guys have told me they dig licking at my asshole
'cause it smells so good!" He rustled our hair. "But then, you did say
you'd like to rim me, didn't you? Here," he turned around abrubtly, "give
it a try. I love being'rimmed!"
   Figuring he now knew the score, we looked at each other and shrugged,
excited at the idea of tasting his butthole...as long as he kept his stinky
turd stuffed well up inside of him!
   We traded his butt back and forth. Rex would lick it for a while, then
I'd pull it away from him and stick my face in there. I believed his remark
about other guys digging his ass for the smell. A hot, gamey odor arose
from between his cheeks...like they'd been shut for weeks! The taste of his
anus was rather cheesy. I savored the taste while I watched Rex's reaction
when he put his tongue on it. He licked up and down, then licked his lips,
then started slurping up and down the asscrack like the mad rimmer I knew
him to be!
   We'd been giving a gentleman's rim job up til now. But the cheesy flavor
finally got to Rex. He pulled the buns to his face and began to frantically
suck on the singer's asshole, digging his tongue in, trying to draw out all
the flavor he could muster!
   The singer kicked his leg loose from his pants and hiked it onto the
toilet seat and started beating off. I reached around and took the singer's
long-hanging cock into my own hand and began to stroke it. It was obvious
that Rex was not about to give up the guy's ass unless I pulled it away
from him. I jacked the big dick and watched Rex.  The singer looked around
at me and winked! What the hell did that mean? Was he enjoying my handjob?
Or was he sending me a signal about Rex' frantic ass-sucking?
   I could lick turds outta his ass, he'd said. Did he really mean it? I
began to wonder. Was he holding back just because was there? The idea
started to really excite me. I'd never seen a guy lick on another guy's
turd before. How deliciously filthy it would be! If anybody would do it,
Rex would, I thought. And I wanted to see that!
   I had the singer by the balls, under Rex' probing tongue, and by the
cock in front. I leaned up and whispered in the guy's ear, "Ah, could
ya...shit...real slowly?  Just squeeze it out while he's lickin' on ya?"
   His eyes opened wide and he smiled, nodding, like it was going to be a
secret between us.  Almost like a childish prank, except for the lewd smirk
he got on his face. And I immediately got caught up in it. It wasn't going
to be a joke. Rex wanted to taste the guy's shit, and I was going to help
him do it! I moved back to the tight buns and started to lick on a cheek. I
was only inches away from Rex' rimming mouth.
   "Tasty hole, hunh, man? Eat him! Guy's got a fuckin' hot asshole on him,
doesn't he?  Oh, man, bending over like that...sticking his ass in your
face! You love rimmin' assholes, Rex...and that's a 'straight' guy's hole
you got in your mouth! He's really diggin' your action!"
   "Aroum, slurmgh!" he noisily sucked on the guy's anus, hardly aware that
it was slowly opening up!
   All of a sudden, Rex began to tongue even more frantically up into the
guy's rectum.  He pulled away once, then thrust his face in even deeper!
But not before I caught a glimpse of the gaping hole. A large dark spot was
evident in the middle. It wasn't empty. It took a few seconds for it to
register in my brain. By the time it did, Rex had returned his face into
the crevice. IT WAS THE TURD! THE GUY'S TURD WAS PUSHING OPEN HIS ANUS AND
REX WAS LICKING ON IT! I watched him dig his tongue in there and work it
around in a circle, knowingly licking on the guy's turd end!
   As if he felt he couldn't get away with it any longer, Rex pulled
away...disgusted.  "AW, SHIT!" he cried, "I WAS LICKING ON IT! Look! He's
gonna shit!  Dammit!"
   I gazed at his 'shocked' aversion. Still with my face on the hot buns,
my tongue licking at the cheeks, I looked up at Rex. "Yeah, he's gonna take
a shit, Rex. I told him to! You wanna lick it, I know you do. I want to
watch you do it. Come on, buddy." I spread the guy's ass apart, encouraging
him. "Look, his turd's coming out. LICK ON IT! LICK HIS SHIT, MAN!  SUCK
THE GUY'S HOT TURD!"
   Several inches were sticking out now, and Rex stared at it. So did I.
He looked at me...  looked at the turd...then looked at me again. Putting
one hand on the end of the protruding hunk of shit, he reached over and
pulled my face down...even with his...an inch from the singer's gaping anus
which was wrapped around that slimy turd! He stuck out his tongue and began
to lick it! Up and down he licked all over the guy's smelly turd!  He never
took his eyes off mine. I gaped in wonder. But I didn't wonder for long. He
pulled me closer, until my lips were as flush with the turd as his were! I
froze, until he winked at me.  He fuckin' winked at me!"
   "Help me," he whispered. "Help me lick it! It's too big. You lick the
juice offa that side, and I'll take this side. LET'S LICK HIS SHIT
TOGETHER!"
   I wasn't prepared for this! I wanted to see him do it. Here he was,
making me do it with him.  I tried to balk, but he pulled me right onto the
turd and forced my mouth up and down it! The singer was groaning and
thrusting his ass back, obscenely pushing out even more of his stinky turd
into our faces! He bolted a huge one. And Rex made sure that every new inch
was licked on from his side and mine!
   Realizing, after a while, that he didn't have to hold my head, he let it
go. I didn't even know he'd done so. I didn't care. My cock was so stiff
and dripping just from watching him lick the turd, that there wasn't room
for my own excitement without exploding all over the place! I held back,
and just helped my buddy. Together we slurped our tongues up and down the
singer's steamy turd, almost following it into the toilet when it fell from
his asshole! I caught my breath, while Rex attached his mouth to the filthy
hole. The guy moaned while Rex cleaned him...  cleaned his asshole of all
leftover shit! I dipped my head down and blew the guy. He dumped a really
heavy load down my throat while Rex sucked at his rectum. Even the copious
flood of jizz over my tongue and teeth could not immediately erase the tang
of his shit in my mouth.
   Far from being repulsed, I savored the unique combination. "DAMN!" I
thought, "SHIT FROM A GUY'S ASSHOLE REALLY TASTES LUSCIOUS! I'M GONNA GET
REX TO SHIT IN MY MOUTH TONIGHT. AND FROM THE WAY HE WAS GOBBLING IT, I
THINK HE'S GONNA WANT ME TO SHIT A HOT TURD FOR HIM TO EAT!"
   It was quite a revelation. I decided then and there, that every guy I
tricked with from then on...well, I'd somehow talk into taking a shit for
me. Let me watch. Let me smell. Let me lick.  Hopefully, have them shit it
right into my mouth!
   But the first one would be Rex's! He pulled my mouth onto that turd!  He
made me lick it!  He fuckin' made me love it! He can damn well shit in my
mouth tonight or I'll tell everybody he's a filthy shit-eater! He is a
filthy shit-eater...I'm a filthy shit-eater. I only hope Rex' turd is
really filthy...cause I'm in the mood to lick another turd coming out of a
guy's ass. I want it to be a REAL STINKY, SMELLY, SLIMY TURD THAT'S TOTALLY
REPULSIVE so I can feel deliciously perverted while I suck on it! Cause I'm
gonna pull his mouth onto my stinky asshole and open it right up. I'm gonna
scream in delirium while I relax my muscles and shoot something foul and
smelly between his lips. He doesn't have to eat it...but he's sure as hell
gonna get a good taste of it! I'm even gonna kiss his shit-smeared lips
with my shit-smeared lips. We'll have ourselves a delicious shit-licking
makeout session!
   With a sigh, the singer started to pee. Rex and I knelt on either side
of the toilet, lapping at his piss stream like a couple of dogs. He smiled,
shook it off, and stuffed it into his pants as he pulled them up.
   "That was a kick, guys. And thanks for the blowjob. Damn! I gotta get
back on stage. See ya!"
   Rex and I looked at each other, wondering what the other was thinking.
We blushed, then started to giggle. I leaned over and whispered in his
ear. "I'm hot.  Let's go home and do it some more!"
   He nodded eagerly, and we rearranged our erections so we could walk out
of there.  Working our way through the crowd, we passed by the front of the
stage.  The band had already started their second set. The singer was well
into "Feed Me Your Love." Looking at us he smiled, patted his ass and
winked! Rex threw him a kiss and licked his lips. I grabbed him by the arm
and dragged him out of there before he waited around for seconds!


Comments appreciated. bawdypen@hotmail.com