Davey's Story Revised 11

DAVEY'S STORY

The 2012 Re-write

Warning: The story you are about to read contains diaper use, violence, adult language and strong sexual content. The following is evil, illegal, should be banned, and all that other blah, blah, blah. If reading a coming of age story of self-discovery about pre-adolescent and adolescent boys that wet their beds, wear diapers, and explore their awakening sexuality with each other does not tickle your pickle (or if the law in your area says that pickle tickling is illegal) then don't read it.

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Chapter 11: Free and My Monster comes for Me Again!

Finally! Today was the day that I would be able to leave this place. I had been here for over three weeks and I was looking forward to a decent meal and my bed at the hotel. It is amazing how much you can miss something as weird as a hotel bed!

The last few weeks have not been easy. But then again, neither has most of my life. So, when Doctor Brice told me last night that she thought I was ready to leave, I almost jumped up and hollered in joy. Somehow through pure will, I managed to keep my diapered butt planted in my seat. I do have to say that my time here has been beneficial, even I was able to see that. I really felt that I was overcoming a lot of my roadblocks that I had set in my way. I also felt more in control of my emotions.

I still had yet to go into detail about Tommy's death with Doctor Brice, but I felt that I was close to being able to do so. It would be something hard to tell, but I knew that it needed to be. Still, I really only wanted to tell it once, which meant I would have to wait until I was on the witness stand again. That is another thing, that time was going to be a lot sooner then I wanted. In fact, I would only get 1 free day before I was expected to give testimony.

For now, Doctor Brice has told me that she won't force me; but she thinks that the sooner I unload the emotional guilt I was feeling over Tommy's death, the faster I would be able to heal from it. Even with me still avoiding this, she feels that I have come a long way. She is also happy that I have finally recognized that I had to work on my emotions and how to vent them.

It is also very possible that I was being released earlier than Doctor Brice wanted due to the fact that Mr. Green ran out of continuances. I was either expected to show up in two days, or not at all!

Whatever the reason is, I am ecstatic to finally get out of this prison like place. Why do I call it a prison, maybe it has something to do with the fact that I was locked in my room whenever I wasn't out on free time. So yesterday evening during free time, I excitedly told a couple of the other kids that I made friends with that were also here, goodbye and that I was going home in the morning. They were happy for me and it was hard for me a little as I seem to always be saying goodbye. I knew that I would miss them.

Yes, I actually made a couple of friends while here. At first it started off a little rocky and several of the other kids made fun of me over certain things, especially because of my need for diapers. Eventually though, with help from Doctor Brice, I made a couple friends. One of them even was a kid who had made fun of me at first.

That night, before going to sleep, I planned all the things I wanted to do tomorrow. Dad had promised that we would celebrate and have fun, but the following day, court would be resuming and we would have to of course attend. As I was saying earlier, there had been a lot of pressure put on Doctor Brice by the Assistant D.A. Mr. Green. He of course was under a lot of pressure from his office to have this case wrapped up soon. Doctor Brice though wasn't prepared to work on their terms but her own instead. Of course in the end, when Mr. Green was no longer able to get anymore continuances, Doctor Brice didn't have much of a choice. Still, I think if she really felt that I was not ready, she would have said no.

That night for some reason, I dreamt of Tommy. Probably because the last few days that seemed to be the only thing that Doctor Brice and I have talked about. At first it was a good dream where we played together and had fun.

We were at our secret place in the woods, you know the one that had been my hiding place but now where we both went to play. Tommy had a bunch of Matchbox cars that he had gotten from an Aunt that he lived with for a while.

I remember that we had a blast that day. There was this one part of the area that was dirt. We had actually made roads by digging them out in the dirt. We even used bricks we found for buildings and made parking lots in front of them. We put a lot of work in our little city we made.

This had been after Tommy had gotten his diapers. He of course was not that great at putting them on and really needed help to get them on right. Unfortunately, this day he had to put the one he was wearing, on himself. I guess that was one of the reasons it started to leak so bad.

It was late spring and the day was a particularly hot one. We were both wearing t-shirts and shorts. In fact, Tommy wasn't even wearing shoes. I remembered asking him why he didn't have his shoes and he just shrugged his shoulders and said he hadn't felt like wearing them that day. He must have had thick skin on his feet because that day, the sidewalk was hot enough to fry an egg on. But all the way to and back from our hide out, he never complained once about his feet being burned even though he was walking on the sidewalk both ways.

Anyway, we had both been sitting in the dirt and playing with the cars when all of a sudden a small river of pee flowed across the road I was driving my car on. I looked in the direction and noticed that the flow was coming through Tommy's shorts and making its way to where my car was. Because the roads were dug out, the pee had actually flowed into them and filled it up like a river in that area. Of course it didn't go far before the pee soaked into the ground. What was mostly weird about the whole thing was that I couldn't figure out how that much pee could make it through Tommy's diaper all at once.

"Tommy! You're peeing all over our roads!" I shouted out at him. It was then that I realized that this shouldn't have been happening. "Tommy, why is your diaper leaking that bad?"

Tommy, who didn't even seem to realize what was happening, looked down at his shorts and noticed what I was talking about. "Wow, I think you are right! I don't think that should be happening!"

Once it appeared that Tommy had finished peeing, he stood up and stepped out of his wet shorts. He was now standing in front of me in just his t-shirt and diaper. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see what the problem was. It appeared that the tapes of his diaper had come off on one side and were actually sticking to his skin on the side of his waist, which was the reason why the diaper didn't fall as soon as he dropped his shorts. Still, the diaper had been held in place by his shorts. You can probably guess what had happened shortly after he dropped his shorts. Yep, the tapes stuck to his skin came quickly undone by the heaviness of the diaper and with it being loose on the other side as well, the diaper of course fell to the ground between Tommy's legs.

Now if that had happened to me, even in the privacy of the hiding spot, I would have died of embarrassment. Tommy though wasn't bothered by it one bit. He just stepped out of the diaper which had been still straddling his right foot. He then grabbed his shorts and pulled them back on and went back to playing as if nothing happened. Oh he did roll up his diaper and put it in the plastic grocery bag that we had used to bring his cars to the hiding place. It didn't even bother him that he still had a poopy bottom, he didn't seem to care and he had to know as his diaper had a deposit of what Grandmother liked to call filthy or nasty boy dirt.

We both did find it funny as we were walking back to the apartment building and the poop that was still stuck to Tommy's butt had started to fall off and out through his legs of his shorts. I had been walking behind him when the first bit of it fell to the ground. I had almost stepped in it. After that I watched his backside as we walked the rest of the way and told him each time a little bit more fell to the sidewalk. Again we were strange children who found this extremely funny.

My dream moved forward in time and I relived several other times that Tommy and I had played together. No matter what we did, we had fun because we were doing it together. Sometimes we went to this little river and played in the water. At least there we didn't have to worry about diapers. Actually it was funny when we got into the water and our diapers bloated up so much that they exploded in our shorts. We of course would then take what was left of them off and dispose of them in the first trashcan on the way back home. The water wasn't very deep and in fact only reached waist high after it rained for a few days straight. Those days Grandmother would bitch me out for taking off my diaper without her permission.

I was soooooo happy once Mommy came home from drug rehab. At first she seemed like the mother she used to be, before she started to use drugs that is. After a while though, she started to become easily agitated. She was showing signs that she was using again, which she denied every time Grandmother accused her. Mommy claimed that it was because she was working two jobs and it was starting to stress her out. I didn't buy it for one moment. I had lived with her for ten years, four of those years after she started to take drugs. I knew the signs all too well.

At this point the dream took a turn for the worse and became a twisting nightmare. It was as if all the light had been sucked away and I was now left in a dark room all by myself. I didn't recognize the room, but again it was extremely dark in it. The Dark scared me badly and my skin started to crawl as I realized something.

My Monster had somehow returned for me and this time I didn't have Harold to protect me. He was angrier than ever before! I guess it was then that I realized that I was able to see enough to not only see it but also my mommy. In fact I watched as it first attacked my mommy. It scared me even more as I watched Mommy crumble to the floor. Then my fear shot through the roof as my monster turned its attention onto me.

I don't know where, but somehow I found the strength to run, and run I did. I bolted as fast as I could from the room and almost reached a door in front of me, when my Monster grabbed me and threw me across the room. I felt my body slamming into the far wall and I heard an awful crunching noise before I lost consciousness in my dream!

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I awoke screaming! My heart pounding as the fear from my dream burned through me! One of the orderlies on the late shift heard me and came to check on me. When he couldn't calm me down he radioed for the night nurse who came rushing into my room. Because of all my thrashing about as the remnants of my dream still pursued me, the orderly had to hold me down. Of course I didn't remember any of this, I was told about it the next morning. What I did notice, was a bad stinging burning feeling as a thin piece of sharp metal was stabbed into my sensitive skin. That was when I fully noticed the nurse with the needle she had just used to inject me with.

Of course the pain from the shot through me in hysterics and it took several minutes for whatever she injected into me was able to calm me down. Through the whole time I threw my little fit, the orderly held me down until he was sure that the medicine had begun to work. This was done because they were afraid that I might accidentally hurt myself. Like falling out of bed due to all of the thrashing about that I was doing.

As my breathing began to slow down to normal and I realized that I was safe from my monster, I became relaxed and started to feel sleepy again. As the medicine went to work and I began to fall back to sleep, the nurse had come back started to change my diaper. The last thing I remembered before falling into the dark abyss of sleep, was the soaked diaper being removed from my bottom. Then, just like that... I was out!

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Once again my dreams took me far back to when I was six years old. This time Mommy and I were living in a new apartment building. Even though our old apartment wasn't fancy, it was still much nicer than our new one! The apartment actually belonged to this guy Mommy was dating. He wasn't the nicest guy in the world but for the most part he pretty much ignored me. I don't know where Mommy met him but she said because she lost her jobs that Ron, which was the guy's name, would be taking care of us until she was able to get a new one.

I didn't like what Ron was doing to my Mommy. Somehow he was changing her as she was no longer the loving mother she used to be. Before Ron was in our lives, we were happy and living in good apartment. Now we were living in a dump and Mommy didn't spend the time she use to with me. She was no longer was patient with me and forced me to start using the potty. She even took my diapers away from me. For the most part she didn't blame me when I had accidents but she was starting to show irritation over them.

Ron was the one that got Mommy to start taking the bad medicine. I knew that it was mostly responsible for what was changing her. I didn't really understand it all, but I knew enough to know that the bad medicine was hurting Mommy. I tried my best to get her to stop taking it but it didn't matter. I didn't understand at the time that my mommy had grown dependent on the drugs she was taking.

Over time, her dependency on the drugs she took increased. She was now spending more time high then not! When she was high she didn't seem to care about anything other than her high, and that even meant me. I found that due to this, I had to start fending for myself to survive. The biggest issue for me was food. Mommy and Ron rarely bought groceries and when they did, they didn't last very long. With the cupboards bare, I had to find other ways to eat or starve!

After a few days with no food, I began to get so hungry that I was feeling weak and even a little sick. I needed something to eat and as I passed a store on my way to school one day, I made a decision that put me down a path of becoming a shoplifter. It started off with just stealing whatever food I could, without getting caught. Amazingly I got away with it and because of this, I became more brazened and my thefts started to go beyond food.

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My mind jumped ahead in time to when we were living with Tony. I remembered it was the first time I got caught. I was almost eight at the time (Yes amazingly I was able to get away with it for almost two years.) and I saw this toy that I suddenly wanted. I looked around and didn't see anyone, so I quickly took it off the shelf and stuck it in my pocket. I had already grabbed a small can of beanie and weenies. One of those cans that have to pull tab for easy open access. This meant that I didn't need a can opener. The store was also one of those that gave out free cookies to the kids and I had already gotten that as well. I had eaten the cookie in the store but the can of beanie and weenies was something I planned on eating at lunch.

Like the many times before, I made my way outside of the store but before I got too far, I felt a large hand grab my shoulder and stop me.

Scared, I turned around to see what had grabbed me. When I saw who it was my body began to tremble and I peed my pants right there on the spot. It was a store security guard. Of course to me, he looked exactly like a police officer as he wore a similar uniform and had a gun on his waist.

"Son, you need to come back into the store with me." The guy stated sternly.

I could tell he was not a person who liked kids one bit! He gave me a disgusted look as he saw the wet spot growing on my pants and running down both of my legs, finally puddling on the ground at my feet. He didn't say a word and other than that disgusted look he didn't he didn't bother to say anything else to me. He just directed me back into the store. I was taken to an office where he ordered me to sit me down in a metal folding chair. There was another chair that looked more comfortable but I was not allowed to sit in it. He then stood guard over me until the office door opened and another man walked inside the office. This man though, sat down behind the desk and looked a little kinder than the guard.

"Found this little thief trying to shoplift from the store sir." The guard told the man behind the desk who I would find out was the store manager. The guard then grabbed my shoulder again. "Empty your pockets and put the stuff on the desk!" He growled and afraid of what he would do if I didn't obey, I quickly did as he told.

I took the can of beanie weenies along with the toy I had grabbed, out of my pockets and set them on the desk in front of the manager.

"Empty the rest!" The guard ordered again.

Trembling I looked up at him. "That is all sir, I swear!" I said in a trembling voice.

The guard of course didn't believe me as he pulled me out of the metal chair and checked my pockets himself. Because of my wet pants, he didn't stick his hands into my jean pockets but did quickly pat them to see if he felt anything in them. Once he was sure that I had told the truth and that I didn't have anything else, he let me go. This time though, I remained standing.

When the manger noticed my wet pants and saw how scared I was, he excused the guard. "Please Carl, I can take it from here."

Carl gave me a look like he believed that any moment I might try to escape. I was pretty sure he was even going to say something to that extent, but the manger gave him a stern look before Carl could do so. Carl got the message loud and clear and left the office, making sure to shut the door as he left.

"Hello son, what is your name?"

"Davey... Davey Long." And as I told him my name, he wrote it down on a pad of paper.

"Davey, how old are you?"

I told him that I was almost eight and he wrote that as well on the pad of paper.

"Davey, can you tell me how I can get in touch with your mom or dad? That way I can call them and have one or both of them pick you up." The manager asked kindly.

I shook my head no. I knew that both she and Tony were passed out still and we didn't have a phone.

The manger sighed and then looked at the two items on his desk. When he looked back at me, I could see compassion in his eyes.

"Davey, if I let you go, will you promise me that you won't shoplift ever again?"

I nodded my head in agreement. "I promise." And my voice squeaked as I said this. I knew the promise I gave him was empty as I had no choice to steal if I wanted to eat.

"Davey, I am going to keep your name here on file and if I find out that you have shoplifted again, I will contact the police. Do you understand?" Again I nodded my head. "Alright, you can go."

I was about to run to the office door when the manager stopped me. "Davey, I think I might know why you have stolen from us today. I want you to take this, and he handed me the can of Beanie Weenies. I half expected for him to give me the toy as well but I quickly realized that wasn't going to happen. Still he was a really nice man and as he walked with me out of the office and into the store, he gave me a small bag of chips and a couple dollars from his wallet. "This is so you can get something to drink."

As nice as the guy was, I was grateful when he finally let me go. I ran all the way home that day. I didn't stop until I was in my bedroom. What I wanted most was my protector. I looked all over for Harold but could not find him anywhere. I then remembered that Mommy had stuck him in the wash last night and had yet to wake up and put him in the dryer. This is why I hadn't taken him with me that day. I ran all the way down to the apartment laundry room and found Harold right where Mommy had left him in the wash. I didn't care that he was still wet. I just held him tightly to my chest and ran all the way back up to the apartment and my room. I stayed there and didn't come out until Tony and Mommy got up later that morning and left. Neither one of them realized that I had cut school. I was relieved when not long after that, we once again moved.

Once we were in our new place, I went back to shoplifting. I did get caught a few more times, but because of my age and the fact that it was usually food, I was let off the hook every time. Of course I stayed away from the places I was caught at as I knew if I got caught again that they may not be so nice about it. Soon my shop lifting went beyond food and simple toys. I started to steal things of value that I could resell to other kids and even a few people off the street.

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My mind had jumped ahead a couple years for that last memory but now went back to when we were still living with Ron.

Even with the shoplifting, I was rarely really getting enough to fill my stomach. I was too afraid to take too much at one time. I often found myself still hungry, so I had to find other ways to eat.

I found that several restaurants threw away perfectly good food. I know it is disgusting, but soon I was dumpster diving for my meals. Shoot, even Mommy joined me when she saw what I was able to get out of the dumpsters. I remember one time I found three whole pizzas still in their delivery boxes, in a dumpster outside of Domino's Pizza. I brought all three pizzas back home. Of course not everything I ate from a dumpster was so conveniently boxed or packaged. In fact most of the stuff I ate from them was just sitting with the normal trash. I guess you can say that I was lucky that I never got deathly sick off of eating stuff from the trash. Just like stealing though, I had to be careful to not be caught.

Another area I had to fend for myself was bully's. I tried on several occasions to get Mommy to help me but as you can guess, she wasn't much help at all.

Because I was barely toilet trained, none of the other kids wanted anything to do with me. In fact they would pick on me and make my life a living hell so I just tried to stay away from all kids... well... and adults for that matter. As time went by, Mommy was becoming more and more frustrated with me about my lack of learning to use the toilet. Knowing how sick Mommy had been lately, I tried even harder to please her in this and soon I was going poop on the potty and not in my pants. I was still having difficulty with my peepee as I didn't know I had to go until I was already going. There were days That Mommy actually made me sit on the toilet for hours, due to her frustration of me wetting myself. On top of all this, I still had no control at all during the time I slept.

More than ever, I felt all alone and I turned to my loving teddy bear for the love and support that no one else was giving me. Harold became more alive than ever and quickly became my best and only friend. Since I had no one else to talk to, I talked to Harold. And unlike the others in my life, Harold would listen to me.

Then the day came, that Ron threw both me and Mommy out of his crummy apartment and for a while we were homeless. At one point Mommy found out that her mother, my grandmother was still alive after all and we went to her for help. Grandmother let us stay with her for a few days but eventually she threw us out as well.

We then spent some time at a shelter but because Mommy was taking the bad medicine still, they kicked us out for violating their rules. They of course told Mommy that they were going to inform Child Protective Services of my situation. Mommy decided it was time to move again.

Eventually we ended up living with this woman who was so burned out by the drugs she couldn't tell you what day of the week it was. She had two young girls and a two year old boy. I shared the room with the two year old boy, and the girls who were nine and eleven had their own room. Because it was only a three bedroom apartment, Mommy slept on the couch.

One day the woman accused Mommy of stealing her stash (whatever that was, I had no idea.) and once again we were out on the street. We were staying in an abandon house for a while then Mommy met this guy who was selling her drugs. His name was Russ and we stayed with him for a few months until Mommy found out that he was doing bad things to me, and once again we were out on our own.

After that there were several men and even women that we stayed with, never too long with any of them. In order to live and continue her drug habit, Mommy used the welfare money she got. She said it was never enough so that led to us stealing even more things from stores and reselling them on the street.

Eventually, we ended up in Las Vegas where mommy got this night job. She would get dressed up and put on lots of makeup before leaving for work. Sometimes she didn't show up back home for a couple days and Mommy never told me why. At least we had a place to live again even if it was a dump. In fact, this was the place we were living when we bumped into Uncle Justin on the strip. I spent many nights and days alone there before we left with Tony.

As for Tony, at first he seemed to be nice to me. He did not like the fact that I had toileting issues and because of all the moving around, I had backslid and was having more accidents in my pants then actually using the toilet.

Soon though Tony seemed to change and I guess he was just showing his true self once he knew he had Mommy reeled in like a fish. Not long after that, I started to have bad dreams and the monster started attacking me! I had hoped that Tony would be like the other guys and eventually be history. But with him, Mommy seemed to want to stay and please him.

I tried to tell Mommy about the monster that was attacking me but she told me it was just a silly nightmare. The problem was that soon the monster was attacking me during the day as well as the night. As time went by, I became more and more afraid of the monster as it got more and more violent. Mommy was taking so much of the bad medicine now, she didn't even notice how badly the monster has been hurting me. Because of this, I was turning even more to my imaginary friend for help.

Life was about as bad as it could get for a little kid like myself, but it was the life I became use to and over time accepted as the norm. As I got older, I didn't have the memories any longer of the time before Mommy started the bad medicine. At one point Mommy started to give me the bad medicine to get me out of her hair for a while. Without warning she would inject me with a needle and not too soon after, I would fall asleep.

The saddest thing about all of this, no-one, not the school, the DHS office, or the people we came into contact, even cared to do anything about all of this. Everyone pretty much chose to ignore it. Of course there were a few times someone would care enough to talk to Mommy and Tony, but those people learned to mind their own business quickly enough!

As I slept and remembered all of this, my mind became more and more resolute. I wanted someone to pay for everything bad that happened to me, and that someone was Tony!

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"Morning Doctor Brice!" I said through a mouthful of food.

I had awakened from my night of dreams a little while ago and was now eating breakfast. I had seen Doctor Brice as she entered the dining room and headed my way.

I continued to eat my breakfast as Doctor Brice came up to the table I was eating at and sat down across from me. After that first few days in lockdown, I have eaten all my meals in the dining room. I had awakened early and was hungry so when they came to get me for breakfast I was famished. I hadn't yet even thought about the dreams I had during the night! Since I have been seeing Doctor Brice a lot lately I wasn't surprised one bit when she showed up in the dining hall. I had thought she had come to remind me that I would be getting out today.

"Good morning Davey, how are you feeling today?" Doctor Brice asked.

Very happy to be getting out that day, I didn't hesitate one bit in answering her. "I'm feeling great!" Since I had yet to swallow what was in my mouth when I spoke, small splatters of chewed up food, shot from my mouth like projectiles towards Doctor Brice. I was so happy that I hadn't even noticed that I had done this. I did swallow though before I spoke again "I can't wait to see Dad!."

"Davey, it is so nice to see you happy again!" Doctor Brice said with complete sincerity. I just smiled and took another bite of food. With the formalities over with, Doctor Brice went into her `get down to business' mode. "Davey, I hear you had another bad nightmare last night." She was looking at me weird like as she said this. "I was wondering if you would like to talk to me about it?"

I quickly swallowed what was in my mouth and looked at her guiltily. "Do I have too?" I was happy that morning and the last thing I wanted to do was talk about something that would make me feel bad.

"Well, I think it would help, don't you?"

Boy I hated it when she twisted things around like that! But, so far she had been right. Talking about my dreams and my feelings has seemed to help, at least those I was willing to talk freely with her about.

I sighed and put down my spoon. "I had the dream again." As I said this, I felt fear tremble through me. My monster dream has been one that I have had a lot lately.

"The one of the day that your friend died?"

I nodded my head. "Yes and I can't do nothing to stop it!" I started to tear up as I recalled the dream. "I feel so helpless; I should have been able to do something to help him!" I said stubbornly.

"Davey, I want you to remember what I have said! There was nothing you could do! It was not in your power to be able to stop what happened. I know that you feel responsible but you did everything you could. Unfortunately there was not a lot anyone in your predicament could have done at that moment." Doctor Brice then took my trembling hands into her own. "Davey, repeat after me. `I did everything I could. I was only a little kid and did not have the power to do anything to change anything. Someone else killed Tommy and it was his fault, not mine.'"

I took a deep breath and then repeated everything that Doctor Brice asked me to. The mantra was supposed to help me feel better but it didn't seem to help a lot that morning. Only moments ago I felt on top of the world, now I felt like a scared little boy!

"So, was there anything new in the dream you want to tell me about?"

I shook my head no. "About the same, it is still jumbled up and I don't think everything is in the right order."

One of the reasons I didn't want to tell the whole dream was the fact that my mother was in it and I didn't want to give Doctor Brice the reason to go after her. So I protected my mother for now. I don't know why, but I felt a strong feeling that the dream wasn't quite right. It was confusing and I am sure it was also out of order. I also felt that my mind was embellishing parts of it due to the fear of the dream. Basically I wanted to see if my mind could organize it better before I go into detail.

"Are you sure?" Doctor Brice pressed a little.

"No... Nothing else!" I said a little quicker than I meant to. And I could see that Doctor Brice didn't quite believe me.

"Do you want to talk to me about any more of your dreams?"

As she asked this, I thought about the other dream I had. The one about my early years with my mother.

"I had some more memories of when I was younger." I fiddled with my fingers a little as I said this. "Did I tell you that I remembered she was the one that gave me Harold?"

I looked up at Doctor Brice as I asked her this and saw her nod her head up and down. "We talked about that a few days ago."

Looking back down at my fingers I mumbled, "Oh that's right. Sorry I forgot."

"You don't have anything to be sorry about Davey." Then Doctor Brice spoke with authority. "Davey, look at me!"

I did as I was told and looked up into her eyes, as tears fell from my own.

"You never have to apologize for this! It is your mother's and Tony fault and they are responsible for all of this. They were the ones along with the others that have hurt you, and your friend for that matter. They should apologize to you. Not the other way around."

I nodded my head. I knew she was right and it wasn't the first time she had told me this. Still, I couldn't help feeling that maybe a small portion was my fault. Maybe if I been a better kid, Mom would have never started doing drugs. For now though, I agreed with her.

"Now what happened to my happy boy?" Doctor Brice asked and smiled at me. "Maybe we should stop at the sink so you can wash your face before you go see your dad."

That was the magic words! "My Dad is here now!" I asked excitedly and used my shirt to wipe the tears from my eyes.

"Well, I guess that works just as good as a sink." Doctor Brice joked and laughed. She was amused as she watch me dry the tears away from my eyes and cheeks.

This got a little smile out of me. I was starting to feel a lot better now that I knew Dad was here to pick me up. "Let's go... Let's go now!" I said in excitement and got up from the table. The breakfast I had been eaten previously, now completely forgotten.

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"Daddy I missed you!" I exploded as soon as I saw him. I ran to him and jumped up into his arms like a jackrabbit.

"You just saw me yesterday kiddo!" Dad laughed.

"I know, but today I won't have to say goodbye to you! I get to leave with you!" I stated happily as I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him.

Doctor Brice finally caught up to us. "Davey! What have we told you about running in the hallways?" She chided me.

"I'm sorry Doctor Brice. I forgot."

Doctor Brice looked at me disbelievingly.

"Honestly!" I then crossed my heart. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

Doctor Brice gave me another look that said she was not buying it then turned her attention to my dad.

"He had another nightmare last night." Blabbed Doctor Brice.

"Hey! It wasn't that bad!" I said in defense of myself.

Doctor Brice just shook her head. "It was bad enough that we had to sedate him."

I gave Doctor Brice an angry look. Why was she bringing all of this stuff up again? All I wanted to do was get out of here and she seemed to be trying to stall us from leaving.

Dad, who was still holding me, looked me into my eyes. "Is this true Davey? As much as I wanted him to drop this, I knew it wasn't going to happen. "Davey?"

"Yes, it's true." I sighed in resignation.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dad asked me.

Of course I didn't want to talk about it and Dad knew it! Why can't he just see this?

"No, I already talked to Doctor Brice about it." I tried to explain to him. Dad didn't look like he was going to take that answer though. "Do I have too?!" I whined.

I could see that I wasn't going anywhere until I told Dad what he wanted to know. I sighed and gave in and told Dad everything I had told Doctor Brice that morning.

"Is there anything else?" Dad asked as I finished up with the dreams I had about Mom and me. I just shook my head no. "Okay buddy, but if you feel like talking about anything, remember I am here for you son."

"I am as well Davey." Doctor Brice said as she patted my back. She then turned her attention back to my dad and handed him a piece of paper. "This is a prescription for the medications that Davey is on; please fill them as soon as you can. I want him to take them regularly as they are most effective that way."

"I will take care of that as soon as we leave here." Dad promised her. "How often does he have to take them?"

"The pharmacist should let you know when you pick up the medicines. But just so you know, three of the medications I am putting him on are to be taken twice a day. Once at Breakfast and once at Dinner. The fourth medication he is to take once before bed, as this pill will make him a little tired." She then handed him another piece of paper. "If he shows any of these symptoms, please call me ASAP!"

Dad took the other sheet of paper and thanked Doctor Brice for everything. He then carried me out to the car where I finally left his arms to get in the backseat put my seatbelt on.

"Finally!" I mumbled to myself.

"What is that son?" Dad asked as he got into the car.

"Nothing Dad." And I sat back in the seat and reveled in the feeling of being free.

I learned something else these last few weeks. It is not a picnic being locked away from everything and everyone you love. I now knew kind of what Tony and my Mom would have to go through if they were convicted. For Tony, I thought even that was too good for him. But for my mom, I was afraid for her. I knew now more than ever, I couldn't do that to her. If there was only a way to get my cake and eat it too!

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So, what do you want to do jailbird?" Dad asked as we got back into the car.

As I got in the back seat I noticed that when I sat down to buckle myself in, that my Diaper was pretty squishy and full feeling. I was about to say something to dad, but when I heard him call me a jailbird; I just had to show him my annoyance.

"Hey! I wasn't in jail!" I complained loudly.

"You were according to all of your complaining over the last three and a half weeks." Dad chuckled.

I just sat back in my seat and folded my arms across my chest and stared at the back of his head in defiance. I was in a pretty crummy mood and I didn't want to be the butt of anyone's joke at that moment.

You may be asking why I was in such a bad mood. Well, we had been in that stupid boring drugstore forever and I was starting to believe they would never get around to filling my prescriptions. It is really hard to amuse yourself in a drugstore when you are only Eleven Years old and there is no one else my age to talk to or play with. After about an hour of fidgeting and literally going insane (I mean, the last thing in the world I wanted to do was wait some more. I had done enough waiting the last three or so weeks to last a lifetime!), they finally filled the stupid prescriptions.

I guess Dad had seen me in the rearview mirror. "Hey Davey! Come on son, cheer up."

I sighed, "Sorry Dad, it was just soooo boring in there!"

"So how about we fix that then? What do you want to do that is not boring?" Dad asked.

I thought about that for a while and actually drew a blank. All the plans that I had made for this moment seemed to have disappeared from my head. Now finally able to do what I wanted, I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do. I found myself once again missing Billy and wished he were here. I figured if there was anyone who could cheer me up and find something to do, he would be the one.

"Well sport, you're pretty quiet back there." I could see Dad again looking at me in his rearview mirror. Then he made a suggestion himself. "How about a movie?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "It sounds okay."

Dad laughed. "Only okay? We don't have to go to one if you don't want to."

"What's at the theater now?" I asked not sure if there was anything I even wanted to watch.

"Well, I seen in the paper that they are still playing `The Smurfs' and it is in 3D." Dad suggested.

"The Smurfs, what's that about?"

Dad Laughed. "I keep forgetting how old I am!"

"Yah! You are old!" I giggled loudly.

"It is about time." Dad announced.

"What's about time?"

"It is about time I hear you giggle." Dad said happily.

"Oh, okay." And I giggled some more.

Dad laughed again. "Anyway, The Smurfs was a cartoon that was out when I was a little older than you are now. They made it into a live action movie and I figured we could see it together." He then further explained what the cartoon was like.

What he told me sounded interesting. "Okay it sounds good but Dad..." I saw him look at me in the rearview mirror. "I really need a diaper change first."

I had just remembered the condition of my diaper and prayed that it wasn't leaking already.

"Why didn't you tell me at the drug store while we did all that waiting?"

I couldn't tell for sure if Dad was upset with me or not.

"I am sorry Dad but I just realized it!" I was hoping that he would believe me.

"Well, I guess we could go back to the hotel and take care of that. Then we could check the paper for show times, to see when the next showing of the Smurfs is." Dad suggested.

I shrugged my shoulders as it wasn't like I had much of a say anyway, well I meant getting my diaper changed, and not about going to the movie. So we headed towards the hotel. I figured while we were there that I could stop by Uncle Justin's room and see if he was there and wanted to join us for the movie. But first, before anything else, My diaper needed to be dealt with.

"Are you just wet or are you messy too?" Dad asked as we entered our room. I started to undress partly to help Dad get me changed faster, but also because I needed clean clothes.

My diaper had indeed started to leak and the back of my shorts were wet and so was my shirt where I had sat on it. Since I didn't realize how wet I was until on the way up to our hotel room, I didn't think of checking out the damage to the back seat of the car where I had been siting.

"Just wet, I think."

Dad stared at me as if he didn't know what to do with me. "Are you, or are you not? "

To be honest, I wasn't absolutely sure. All I had to go on was that I didn't feel or smell poopy, so I felt that I hadn't pooped. The thing is, I have felt like this before and it turned out that I had pooped after all. I figured it would be better to play it safe than assume anything.

"I am pretty sure I am just wet but I can't be absolutely sure of this." I said honestly.

Dad chuckled. What I had mistaken for seriousness was Dad once again playing with me and my brain. "Well I guess I should break out the gloves just in case." Dad laughed as he laid my changing matt on the bed.

I had quickly stripped down to my diaper and laid down on the changing matt while Dad got out the rest of the supplies he needed, including gloves.

Everything now ready and gloves on, Dad started to untape the sides of my diaper. Once he had both sides undone he started to pull back the front of the diaper when I suddenly stopped him.

"Dad wait!" I sounded urgent.

My little fire hose had suddenly picked that moment to let loose once more and no matter how much I tried to stop it, the flow continued to pour out of me. Of course, with my diaper already full to capacity, it started to leak badly around my legs and through the elastic around my back. By the time I was able to stop the flow a huge wet spot had appeared on my matt.

"Are you done peeing buddy?" Dad kindly asked, trying his best to not embarrass or upset me.

"Yeah, but I feel like I still got to go a little." I said a little ashamed at myself and the lack of control I had over my body. "Will I ever be able to be normal like everyone else my age?" I thought to myself.

"Okay, give me a minute or so and you can go finish on the toilet."

Dad than quickly pulled the front of the diaper back and seeing that it was indeed only wet removed it from underneath me.

"Okay buddy, go ahead and use the toilet while I clean this up."

So while I finished peeing Dad took care of my wet matt and diaper. He came into the bathroom and disposed of the diaper as I was flushing the toilet.

"Come over here buddy." Dad called me over to the sink where he was wetting a washcloth in warm soapy water. He then washed all the pee off of my body, making sure that I was completely pee free. Dad then offered me a choice that I hadn't had since before I went to the cuckoo's nest. "Davey, do you want to try going without a diaper for now?"

As much as I wanted to prove that I didn't need them in the daytime, I was really worried about going diaperless. For the last few weeks I had been in diapers all the time, and now I didn't even realize when I was peeing most of the time. In the end I decided that it would be better for now to wear a diaper. That way Dad doesn't have to clean up any messes I might make.

"Yeah, I probably should. I don't even know when I am peeing hardly anymore."

"Okay buddy, go ahead and hop up on the bed and I will diaper you real quick."

I did as Dad asked as he gathered the supplies he needed before coming over and putting a new clean diaper on me.

It didn't take long for Dad to tape me into the diaper and while I got redressed into some dry summer clothes, Dad checked the movie times in the newspaper.

"It looks like there is a showing starting in twenty minutes." Dad announced. "I don't see why we couldn't make it in time."

"Can we stop and see if Uncle Justin wants to go with us?" I asked while tying my shoes.

"I am sorry kiddo, but Uncle Justin got in late this morning and even though he wanted to see you real bad, he was awfully tired. I told him to get some sleep and that we would get together later this evening."

Now finished tying my shoes, I decided to fool around and quickly whomped Dad with my pillow. I then made the mistake of getting too close to him. He grabbed me and started to tickle torture me. "So you think you can get away with that? Do you squirt?!" Dad laughed as he tickled me to death.

"Please Dad stop!" I laughed and cried all at once. "And don't call me squirt!" I giggled.

You started it. I am just making sure to finish it." Dad laughed but ultimately let me go. "Okay, but if we want to make it to the movie on time, we need to get going.

The next couple hours or so were immersed in the movie, `The Smurfs'. I actually enjoyed it very much and it went a long way towards making me feel better! The rest of the day was spent at the pool where Dad continued my swimming lessons. We didn't leave the pool until it was close to dinner time.

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"So, I hear that you took your dad this afternoon to see the new Smurf movie." Uncle Justin smirked a little.

We were eating dinner that evening in the hotel restaurant. So far the meal was so-so, but what I was waiting for was desert. I couldn't wait to see what exotic new ice cream flavor I would be able to taste today. Because of this, I ate everything on my plate without gripe. Of course I did have to quickly gulp down the weird looking vegetable that they put on my plate. It tasted a lot like it looked.

Uncle Justin and Dad had been talking about things that I found boring so I had lost interest in what they were saying a while ago. At one point I had found myself in deep thought once again over my past childhood. So I had not heard Uncle Justin the first time when he asked me about the movie. He ended up having to repeat himself before I was able to answer him.

"So, I hear that you took your dad this afternoon to see the new Smurf movie."

"Nuh-uh! He took me!" I stated assure of myself.

Uncle Justin and Dad laughed. Since I thought they were laughing at me, I stared back at them angrily.

Trying to be serious and not laugh, Uncle Justin continued. "Okay sport, he took you. Tell me did you enjoy the movie?"

I quickly forgot about them laughing at me and excitedly told Uncle Justin, "Yeah it was great!" I exclaimed and went ahead and told Uncle Justin all about the movie.

"Boy, it sure sounds like you enjoyed it. I am sorry I wasn't able to come but I promise you that the next chance I get, I will take you to a movie and it will be just you and me." Uncle Justin offered.

"Thanks Uncle Justin! Though I get to pick the movie." I smiled as I said this.

"Is that the deal?" He asked

"Yep!" I laughed.

"Boy sport! You drive a hard bargain!" I just grinned at him.

Suddenly my attention was immediately drawn elsewhere when I had spotted the restaurant manager; the one that had given Billy, Dad, and me the free bowl of ice cream those few weeks ago. He was talking to some people at another table; one on the other side of the restaurant.

"Hey Dad! There's that manager guy that gave us the good ice cream!" I practically shouted with glee.

The manager must have heard me as he looked our way and once he saw me, he waved. I was so happy that he recognized me that I got a little over excited and stood up and waved back while shouting across the room to him.

"SIR! WE'RE BACK FOR MORE OF YOUR ICE CREAM!"

The manager smiled and again waved at me. Dad on the other hand was not happy and I could see that he also seemed very embarrassed. He reached out and pulled me back down into my chair. When I saw his face I worried that he might spank me or ground me or something.

Instead he sighed and said, "Davey, please don't scream in a nice restaurant like this. Don't you see all of these people here that you disturbed from their meals? I know you meant well but please from now on, refrain from doing that again.

"I'm sorry Dad." I mumbled. And As I saw the look he gave me, I tried to explain. "I just started to think about the ice cream and forgot about everything else."

I decided to stop while I was ahead as Dad still didn't look too happy. For the next several minutes I kept my trap closed.

The manager eventually made his way to our table and like I thought, he had recognized me. "Well hello again. It is nice to see you so happy!" The manger than chucked me lightly under my chin. "I suppose you are wanting that ice cream now."

Dad still looked a little embarrassed. "I am so sorry sir. I promise he will be good from now on."

"Don't worry about it one bit. Kids are best when they are happy. We can't fault them for that and the excess energy they have. Besides, he is an addict now and all it took was one bowl." The manger left as he said this to get our desert. His words though stuck with me as I went over them in my head.

The manager had just called me an addict and I wondered about this. I was also told that my mom was an addict too. From everything that I had always known, an addict was something bad to be! So how could I be an addict? Did that mean that I was like my mom and that I would also start taking bad drugs and doing bad things? Is this why I did those bad things with Billy, because I am an addict? How could this manager, who only seen me for the second time, know that I am an addict but Dad who has been with me all of this time not know. Well except for the last few weeks that is.

The more I thought about this, the more sure I was about being an addict. It never occurred to me that the manager was just joking. I just assumed what he meant was serious.

I remember someone telling me about how my mom was addict. I can't for the life of me remember who it had been that said this to me, just that it was. Maybe it was one of my teachers. Whoever it was, told me that Mom was an addict and that the first step to killing her addiction was to admit having one.

I decided then and there that I was not going to be like my mother and not admit to being an addict. I figured the only way to beat this was to do what Mom refused to do or what I thought she refused to do. I decided to admit I was an addict right then and there!

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"I am sorry Davey, what did you just say?" Dad asked me to repeat myself.

"I'm an addict!"

"Davey, what do you mean your addict?" Uncle Justin asked and I could hear the confusion in his voice.

"I'm an addict like Mom." I simply said in response to both of their stares.

I could see that Dad was about to say something but stopped when the manager reappeared with our ice cream. Like the last time, the manger waited as we each tried our ice cream. I swear that the ice cream this time around was better than the first time and that was hard for even me to believe!

As soon as we had tasted the desert and let the manger know what we thought of it, he smiled and went on to the next table. Now that we were alone again Dad set his spoon down and looked at me concerned.

"Jeff, not here." Uncle Justin whispered.

Dad looked over at him for a moment and sighed. He then picked his spoon back up and finished his ice cream. I had beaten the both of them and finished my ice cream first. I even licked my bowl clean. It took them a few more minutes, but once they were done, Dad paid our bill and we headed back upstairs to our room.

Uncle Justin followed us into our room and he and Dad watched me as I went over to my bed and sat on the edge. I could see that they wanted to talk to me and I was sure it had something to do with my announcement at dinner. I just didn't know what else to tell them. So I just sat there and let Dad go first.

"Davey... Son... What did you mean when you said you had an addiction like your mother? Can you please explain it to me and your Uncle?"

"I am sorry Dad but I guess I should have said something much sooner. I guess I just didn't want to face the truth."

"And what is the truth son?" Dad asked.

I really tried to explain but I found it hard. "I have been feeling it now for a while and at first I didn't know what it was but now I know it is my addiction that was causing it."

"Davey? Are you telling us that you take drugs?" Dad asked and I could tell he was worried.

I didn't understand why Dad was asking me this; of course I was taking drugs! I mean, he was the one that bought them earlier today. I decided to just nod my head as I wasn't sure if he was testing me somehow.

Dad all of a sudden looked like he might just fall. He sat heavily in the arm chair that was near him. I could hear him mumble something under his breath about it all being Mom's fault. Again I was confused, how could it be Mom's fault, if it was anyone's I would have to say it was Tony's!

"It isn't Mom's fault!" I argued. "It was Tony's!" I spat angrily.

Dad looked over at Uncle Justin. "I am not sure what to do Justin, maybe I should call his doctor?"

"I am not sure if that is needed." Uncle Justin replied as he looked at me.

Dad interrupted. "What do you mean you don't think it is needed? My little boy is addicted to drugs!"

As Dad said this, Uncle Justin continued staring at me, because of this I didn't pay particular attention to all what Dad had said. He seemed, Uncle Justin that is, to be studying me as I sat there on my bed and I was starting to worry why he was looking at me like that. Finally he spoke and things started to make more sense.

"Davey, tell me. How often do you take drugs?"

Again I was confused but answered his question. "Three times a day."

"And where did you get these drugs?"

Why was Uncle Justin asking these weird questions? He already knew where I got the drugs. Still I answered it anyway. "At the drugstore today."

"You are talking about the ones your dad bought... Right?"

I nodded my head and then looked over at Dad who looked as confused as I felt.

"Now tell me this. Other than the drugs that your dad bought, have you ever taken other drugs?"

Again I nodded my head. "I also had the ones at the institute that Doctor Brice wanted me to take." I answered him, perplexed as to what this had to do with anything.

Then a thought occurred to me. Maybe the drugs I was taking now would make me want to take the bad ones that Mom took. Maybe this was all to do with my addiction.

Uncle Justin just moved forward. "Okay Davey, other than a drug that your doctor or your dad has given you, and that includes all the time while you were in the institute or when you were in the hospital, have you ever taken the bad drugs like your mom took since you went to live with your dad?"

This question seemed to validate my current thinking and I became scared. "Only when Mommy made me! Most of the time she put it in a needle and gave it to me."

"So you haven't had anything like that since you went to live with your dad." Uncle Justin asked again for confirmation.

"No." As I said this I also shook my head no.

At this, both Uncle Justin and Dad seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Dad looked at me quizzically.

"Davey, why did you tell us you're an addict? You're not doing the bad drugs your mom did." Then Dad had a thought. "Davey, you do know what an addict is, right?"

I nodded my head yes. "It is someone who does bad things and can't get better until they admit it." I explained.

"Oh Davey!" Dad seemed to have had a ton of bricks pulled off of him. "Davey, I think you misunderstood what an addict is. An addict is someone like your mom who is addicted to things like drugs. In your mom's case, she is so addicted that she feels like she is going to die if she doesn't get another fix..." When Dad saw my confusion he clarified what he was saying. "...A fix is more of the bad drugs. So you are not addicted like your mom is. Do you understand?"

I wasn't sure about everything but I did understand some of what Dad was saying. "So why did the manager guy say I was addicted?" I asked curiously.

Now Dad and Uncle Justin understood how this all started and both of them actually chuckled.

"Davey, he was just kidding around. He just meant that you like his ice cream so much that you will probably keep coming back for more." Dad tried to explain.

I couldn't help thinking that I was an absolute bonehead. How could I gotten so easily confused over something so stupid? I was still worried about my weird feelings but now that I knew that they were not caused by an addiction, I felt a lot better.

Now with the whole mess straightened out, I spent the rest of the evening watching TV with Dad. At one point Dad gave me my night pill and it didn't take long for it to take effect. I wasn't sure when I fell asleep, but I must have been really out as I don't remember Dad moving me to my bed or getting me ready and changing my diaper. I was out like a light and a million miles away in the land of dreams and nightmares.

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Once again I dreamt of the past, this time though, not that long ago. I found myself at the local park near Grandmother's apartment building. The weird thing was, I wasn't myself! I seemed to be floating over my own body. Tommy was there with me (my body that is) and we were discussing something important. As I tried to focus more on the conversation so I could hear what was being discussed between my body and Tommy, the `me' floating overhead seemed to get closer to my body. Because of the shorts that we were both wearing, I knew that it must have been sometime that summer before Tommy was killed. I could see the thick padding of diapers hidden not too well inside of mine and Tommy's shorts. Most likely knowing us, they were both in dire need of changing. Again I tried to focus on the discussion between us, I was happily surprised when the floating `me' entered my body where it belonged. This worked as I was now able to hear everything being said. It didn't take me long to remember the day in question.

"Your dad is a jerk Tommy! I really wish he would just stop hurting you!" I fumed. I was steamed to learn that once again that Tommy's dad had beaten him severely.

"Yeah, I just wish sometimes that he would forget the way home!" Tommy scowled. He then spat on the ground and winced in pain.

I noticed the crimson color of Tommy's spit and knew it was blood. It was also apparent that he was in a considerable amount of pain. Especially in his chest area and no wonder when you see how badly it was bruised like I had. He had just showed me the deep dark bruises his father gave him that covered his entire chest. When I saw them, I wished desperately that I could somehow repay Tommy's father for them.

Like all the other times; his dad came home early that morning, drunk and pissed off. Then, for no reason whatsoever; he went to his son's room and yanked him out of bed. Tommy went from one minute in deep sleep, to the next, awake and in severe pain as his father hit him over and over again in a drunken rage.

He beat Tommy's small body until he blacked out. Neither of us are sure how Tommy managed to survive that beating. The only thing we could think of is that, after his son blacked out, so did he. Or just maybe he felt guilty about what he was doing to his son and stopped. Whatever the reason was, Tommy was lucky to still be alive!

When he did awake that morning, he was in so much pain that he could not move at all. He lied on the floor of his room where his father had left him. He continued to lay there until later that morning when his father finally awoke and got up for the day. The angriest thing about it was, the bastard didn't even remember hurting his son.

Tommy's father did give him some strong pain killers to help with the pain and with their help he was finally able to get up and get dressed for the day. He then set off to find me; eventually he did so here at the park. Even with the pain killers, I could see that Tommy was still in terrible pain.

"Tommy, you don't look so good! I think you should go to the hospital!" I said worried that my friend might be hurt bad enough to possibly kill him.

"I can't though. Dad would kill me if I did. Besides, he told me they would try and put me in foster care if I said anything; and Dad says that it would be even worse there than with him."

I nodded my head as I too had heard the rumors of how bad it was in foster care. I also knew what it was like to fear somebody so much that you become afraid to tell anyone. Still with the blood he was spitting up, I was afraid for him. I had never seen Tommy beaten so badly. And with him constantly holding his chest in pain and spitting up blood, I knew he needed to see a doctor right away.

"Tommy please! You're spitting up blood and your bruises are so dark and bad! I am afraid he might of broke your chest!" I expressed my worry by pleading with him.

I watched as Tommy all of a sudden hollered in pain and knew that no matter what, I was going to make sure he got to the hospital. Even if it meant losing him as a friend!

"I can't just sit here and watch you die!" I stated, my mind now made up. "I am going over to the park phone and calling 911!"

And as I got up, Tommy called out for me.

"Davey please don't tell on my daddy! He didn't know what he was doing and I probably deserved it anyway." He cried out.

"Tommy, I know you and you never did anything to deserve to be beaten like that by your dad!"

"Davey... You promised me that you would keep this secret and never tell anyone!" Tommy cried out as I started to get up and walk towards the park phone.

"I am sorry Tommy, but you are more important to me than anything else and if that means losing your friendship to save you... Well I guess I will just have to live with it."

"Davey! Please! There must be another way?"

I thought long and hard for another way but wasn't coming up with anything, then, as I was about to give up, a thought came to me and I came up with a solution.

"Well, I guess I could say that we were playing around and you fell down the stairs at the apartment by accident." Tommy nodded and was paid for it by another jolt of pain that showed clearly on his face. "And because of the pain getting too bad you decided to finally call 911." I added but stopped when I noticed Tommy's pain.

Now I know it wasn't perfect but at least it was an idea and it would at least get my friend to the hospital where he desperately belonged right now.

"I guess that could work." Tommy admitted to the possibility and winced from another jolt of pain. "Okay... Okay... I... I will wait here until you are done with the phone." I could see tears forming in Tommy's eyes. "I really don't think I can move again anyway."

Seeing him in so much pain hurt me very much. Now with his blessing, I ran all the way to the park phone to make the call that I knew had to be made.

"911, what is your emergency please?" A lady's voice responded.

"My friend is hurt! I think he might die!" I hollered into the phone.

"Can you tell me how your friend was hurt?" The woman's voice on the other end asked.

"He fell down the stairs earlier and he hurt himself pretty bad and I think he might have broken his chest!" I said in one long unbroken sentence.

"Where are you at now caller?" This lady almost sounded mechanical and emotionless.

"We are at Oak Park. Please hurry, he keeps spitting up blood." And as an afterthought, "We are over by the large swing set. He is in so much pain he can't move anymore." At this I started to cry into the phone as the worry for my friend overcame me emotionally.

Suddenly the voice at the other end that had sounded so emotionless, showed her first signs of emotion. "Honey don't worry, we will have someone there shortly."

I sniffled a little. "Thank you ma'am."

"Would you like to stay on the phone with me until the ambulance gets there sweetie?" She asked.

"I think I need to go check on my friend." I responded but felt better knowing that help was now on the way.

"Well, can you at least tell me you and your friend's names and how old you are?"

"My name is Davey and I am ten and half and my friend is Tommy and he will be 10 in a few months." As I told the operator this, I heard sirens in the background and they were getting closer. "I can hear the ambulance coming, thank you Ma'am." And before she could say anything else, I hung up the phone and ran over to my friend to await the ambulance that I could now see heading into the park.

"Where do you hurt son?" I heard one of the two paramedics ask Tommy as they approached him. I had also just ran back up to him.

Tommy pointed to his cheat and wheezed, "All over here!"

The paramedic carefully lifted Tommy's shirt a little and after seeing the bruises looked to his partner, who was carrying what looked like a large toolbox. "Hand me a pair of scissors!" He asked as he held out his hand. I did notice from the tone of his voice that he sounded quite upset.

I watched as the other guy opened the box and pulled out a package that contained a pair of scissors and handed it to the first guy. While all of this was going down, the driver had gotten out and was bringing what looked like some big board with straps, over to where we were at.

"My god Jim!" The second paramedic said in shock to the other. "This boy has definitely been beaten! You can still see the imprints of the fist that did it!"

The paramedic named Jim had just cut off Tommy's shirt and fully exposed his black bruised chest to the world!

Of course Tommy and I did our best to try and tell them that Tommy had received his bruises during a fall, but I don't think for minute that they believed us. Shoot they were barely even paying attention to anyone or anything but Tommy's bruises.

At one point Jim had spoken to someone over his radio and I heard him tell the person he was speaking to, that Tommy had been beaten.

"What do you think Brian?" The paramedic named Jim asked the one with the tool case once he was done talking on the radio.

Jim had already checked for what I learned latter to be broken ribs before talking on the radio and while he was doing that, Brian checked Tommy's vitals. They started to discuss his current state and if he was stable enough to move.

I listened as Jim went over his diagnosis with Brian. "He is bleeding internally but I don't think it is due to anything vital being damaged. He may have a couple broken ribs at worse. At best his ribs are severely bruised. I think we can move him. How is his vitals?"

"They seem to be okay for now but we have to be careful in case one of his ribs is broken as we don't want it to puncture a lung." Brian responded.

I guess it was about this point I noticed that Tommy was no longer conscious and I became very scared. No matter how much I tried to get them to tell me anything, they pretty much ignored me.

The driver who had brought over the board was standing behind them and as soon as they motioned him, he brought the board over and laid it next to Tommy. Then the two paramedics carefully rolled Tommy on his side while the driver positioned the board underneath him. As soon as the board was in place, the paramedics rolled Tommy back onto the board. They then strapped him in before carrying it into the back of the ambulance.

"Can I go with Tommy?!" I begged the paramedics.

"I am sorry son, but we can't let you. Besides, an officer is on his way and wants to speak to you."

About this time I heard another siren and saw a police car pull up next to the ambulance. Two officers got out and briefly spoke with the paramedics. While they talked, I believe it was Jim, one of the paramedics pointed towards me. They talked for a few more minutes and then the officers sent them and the ambulance on their way. As I watched the ambulance leave with Tommy, I prayed it wouldn't be the last time I saw him alive.

I didn't even realize that the officers had made their way over to me; I was still in shock and worried about my friend.

"Son, can we ask you a few questions?" One of the officers asked and immediately grabbed my attention.

I looked at both officers and suddenly became afraid. I was of course raised to believe the police were bad and would do anything to lock you up and throw away the key. I knew that I did not want to be talking to any police officer right now. Slowly, I started to back away from the two officers.

"Son, please don't be afraid. We just want to help your friend Tommy. You are Davey, right?" I nodded my head and continued to back away from them. "Davey, we just want to ask you how your friend got hurt is all."

I looked from one officer to the other one. What happened next was driven on pure fear and instinct. I turned and bolted! I ran and ran and somehow managed to lose the two officers. Because I was too afraid to go home, I spent the rest of the day in my secret hiding spot. I didn't even dare try to sneak back home until after dark.

As I entered the apartment both Mom and Grandmother were there, standing, and looking downright pissed!

"Young man! Do you know what time it is?" Grandmother started on me.

"MOM!" Mom turned and gave Grandmother an angry look. "He is my son! Please let me handle this!"

I was shocked to hear Mom raise her voice at Grandmother. I guess Grandmother was shocked as well because she shut her mouth and instead bored holes into my forehead with her burning mad eyes.

Mom then turned her attention back to me. "Now Davey where were you? The police were here today asking about you and your friend Tommy."

"Did they tell you if Tommy was okay?" I asked ignoring Mom's question.

"No, but they were interested in if you knew how Tommy got hurt."

The next couple minutes were a blur in my memory. All I remember is breaking down and running to my mom and letting her comfort me. I am not really sure if I told her how Tommy got hurt or not. In the end the police did show back up the next day. This time Mom was there and when the police found out that I had not witnessed anything, they finally left me alone.

I could tell that they were not buying the story that we initially devised. But so far they had nothing to actually prove Tommy's Dad hurt him. I did my part and got him in the hospital, from that point on though, I was not going to help them put Tommy into foster care. Besides, I didn't want to lose Tommy.

For a long time I didn't learn what ever happen to him as he was not home and no one was telling me anything. I started believe the worst... Tommy was dead!

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I awoke with a start! The room around me was dark and quiet. Sweat was pouring down my face and I could feel it seeping out of the rest of my body as well. My bed was so saturated with my sweat; I couldn't help wondering if maybe my diaper had leaked as well.

I threw the covers off of me and got up and quietly walked into the bathroom. Once inside I turned on the light and checked myself in the mirror. The diaper while needing to be changed, seemed to be still holding fine. I could not believe I sweated so much that my pajamas and bed would be this soaked.

I stripped out of my pajamas and then for a minute considered waking up Dad to change me. I could tell that I had pooped myself and the diaper was pretty wet, but I figured it could hold until morning. I just really didn't want to wake Dad when we would be getting up anyway in a few hours. According to the clock it was a little after four in the morning.

I decided to go ahead and wet a washcloth in cool water and wash all of the sweat from my body. I then dried myself off with a towel. Before I opened the bathroom door to leave, I turned off the light and was once again plunged into darkness; except for the small hint of a light coming from a night light in the bathroom. There was also a couple in the room itself so that it wasn't totally dark. These were placed here for my benefit as Dad knew how I felt, waking up in the dark.

I made my way slowly back to my bed but after checking it, I found it too wet to be able to sleep in. I guess I could have slept on the floor, but I knew I would feel better if I slept with Dad. So trying hard not to wake him up, I got in bed with him.

Soon I was again fast asleep and this time, even with Dad next to me, my monster once again paid me a visit!

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It began with the normal sudden quietness. It was as if the sound had been turned off everywhere around me. The only sound I could hear was that of my heart thumping in my chest!

Thumpity!

My heart pounded in my chest. My heart was pounding so hard against my chest that it reminded me of a movie I once watched when Mom and Tony had left me alone. The movie had been `Alien' and it had given me nightmares for weeks. I was almost sure that my heart was actually an alien trying to burst from my chest. Maybe it is a good thing that Dad refuses to let me watch anything over PG-13.

Don't ask me why the monster was always preceded by silence, just know that it was. So I am laying there in bed and breathing hard. I try to stare all around me but all I can see is utter blackness. Not even a night light lit up where I was. At least with it being this dark the minions can't come, but I know this will not last. Sure enough a light comes sliding under the door and lights the room enough to see the minions.

"NO! YOU'RE NOT REAL! YOU CAN'T HURT ME NO MORE!" I yell out to the monster and his minions.

"But Davey, we are real and we have come to tell you that the monster has found you. He knows what you plan to do tomorrow and he wants you to know that it won't stop him. He will continue to come after you until he has finally had enough of you. At that time he will feast on your wretched body and consume it!" And as they said this, the minions laughed in such a way that made my skin actually jump!

"NO! NO!" I hollered. "You can't be real! I am not here! This is just a dream! I am asleep in bed next to Dad at the hotel!"

"That is just what we want you to think young Davey. The monster loves the fear more that comes from a boy who believes he is safe!" The minion taunted me.

Suddenly I heard the sound of heavy steps that are coming closer to the room I was in. I listened as the floor underneath those steps groaned and creaked as the monster came closer and closer to where I was.

"Do you hear him Davey? He is coming just for you! He has missed you Davey, so he want to spend a little extra time with you tonight."

Fear poured out from every pore of my body as I saw the shadow of the monster grow under my door. I knew that this couldn't be real but yet I couldn't help think it was. I tried to get out of bed but I found I could not move. Then I heard the monster call out to me.

"D-a-v-e-y! D-a-v-e-y! I am coming for you tonight!" He then started to laugh in an evil way.

Again I tried to move and again I found that I was frozen right where I was. As the door opened and I saw the monster appear in my doorway, framed by the light from behind him; my bodily functions gave way. My already soaked diaper was now starting to leak and I felt my bowels add to what was already in my diaper.

"The monster won't want me!" I tried to tell the minions as the monster started to approach me. "I am wearing a wet and poopy diaper." I feebly cried out hoping that would halt the monster from coming closer.

It didn't work, the monster continued to move slowly closer to me. I was becoming more afraid as every second went by. Once again I tried to move. I sent out messages to my legs and arms to move, but that still failed.

As the monster approached me, the real fear began. I felt the monsters paws all over me threatening to rip my guts wide open. He was also doing other unspeakable things to me as I lay there frightened that I may never wake up again.

As the monster was ripping into my backside, it suddenly stopped. Something or someone had made it stopped. But who, and for how long?

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