Goodbye Normal Jeans
A novel by Danny
Sometime in the middle of the night I woke myself and everyone else in the house with my screams. In my sleep I had attempted to roll over onto my back to get away from the cold wet spot on my sheets, however I'd rolled over onto, as my doctor put it, my wounded pride. My back arched like a bridge with my shoulders, back, bottom, and legs suspended above the bed with only my head and the bottoms of my feet in contact with my bed sheet. My blanket, which had become heavy with pee, was hangin' over my elevated body formin' a sort of tent beneath me.
In their startled condition Kyle-Lee and Kane had sprung from their beds and collided with each other with a skull-rattlin' crack that sounded a lot like a firecracker goin' off inside an old metal coffee can. They both collapsed to the floor moanin' and cryin' in a tangled mess of sheets, pajamas and bleedin' body parts.
Our bedroom light came on and Ma came runnin' into our room closely followed by Pa and Karen. They found me still archin' my back and screamin' while Kyle-Lee and Kane were rollin' on the floor clutchin' at their heads and whalin' like a couple of infants with poopy diapers.
Karen rushed to my aid while Pa and Ma dashed over to help my brothers who as it worked out had both broken something. Kane had a broken nose but he weren't bleedin' none hardly but Kyle-Lee had literally cracked his forehead open and was bleedin' all over the place.
By the time Karen got me calmed down enough to stop cryin' Pa had got both of my brothers into the truck and was takin' them to see Doc Wilson. I recon that Doc Wilson is goin' to be able to retire soon with all the business we keep givin' him.
I had thought at first that Ma had gone with Pa when we heard the back tired of the truck kickin' up gravel as it flew down the drive but she soon reappeared in my room with a big bag of ice and laid it right on my bottom.
Kathy came in lookin' worried and still partially asleep. You'd of thought that when she saw the blood all over the floor that she would have freaked out but instead she yawned, "Should I go get a bunch of rags and a bucket?" she asked while rubbin' her eyes with the backs of her wrists.
Karen was wipin' my eyes with a cool cloth and shushin' me because I was makin' huffin' sounds from havin' been cryin' so hard.
Mom answered, "Why don't you go check on Kristen and if she's alright then you can go back to bed."
She yawned again, "Ok but can you keep him from screamin' anymore I need my beauty sleep." I weren't lookin' at her when she said that so I don't know if she was serious or jokin' but it was funny either way and made me to laugh, as did Karen and mom.
"Ok we'll try sweetheart. Goodnight, I love you!" ma said with a giggle.
The task of cleanin' up the bloody mess fell to Karen while ma took me into the bathroom and proceeded to give me a bath to wash all the urine off me. When we returned to my room with me wrapped in a towel I found that my bed had been stripped and remade by Karen. I removed my towel, laid myself face down on my bed and ma pulled warm dry blanket up over me. She folded the end neatly around the back of my neck, tucked it tightly around me so that I was less apt to try rollin' over in my sleep again. With a kiss to the side of my head she softly cooed, "Now try to get some sleep."
It was nearly sunrise when Whiskey could be heard outside barkin' at Pa's truck as he pulled up in front of the house with Kane and Kyle-Lee. I didn't see Pa right away but Kyle-Lee and Kane both looked bad when they walked into our room heavily bandaged and glarin' at me like I was the antichrist. They both seemed to sway slightly as they walked like they were a little tipsy.
When they both put their pillows in the middle of their beds before lyin' down I knew that Doc Wilson had give them both shots in their rumps.
There were some muffled angry sounds comin' from downstairs followed by the door slammin' and shortly after we could hear the tractor start. I figured pa was getting' a jump on the day seein' how he already up.
Ma appeared in our room lookin' tired, irritated and in no mood to be messed with. Her normally tidy appearance had been replaced with dark circles under her eyes, droopin' eyelids, and hair disheveled and hangin' wildly about her shoulders.
Without sayin' a word she went about gatherin' up the items she would need to change my diaper but I wasn't wearin' a diaper so I guessed that she was fixin' to put me into one; I couldn't have been more wrong.
She stood next to Kyle-Lee and Kane's beds holdin' two diapers, two pair of plastic pants, the bottle of baby-powder and diaper pins and cream. My brothers both looked horror struck, like two young bucks caught in the headlights of a Mac truck.
With a sorrowful sigh mom announced, "Doc Wilson wants you both to stay in bed for the next two days. He doesn't want either of you runnin' about, especially you." She pointed to Kyle-Lee's bandaged head.
Kyle-Lee opened his mouth to speak but was cut short by a commandin' boom from pa, "If I hear so much as a whimper from either of you more then your heads will be hurting."
I was lyin' on my stomach with my head at the foot of my bed and intently watchin' ma, as had Kane and Kyle-Lee, so none of us had heard or seen Pa step into our room. Even ma jumped at the sound of pa speaking.
"Honey you gave me such a fright!" ma gasped while caressin' the baby still in her tummy.
A faint sniffle drew my attention back to Kyle-Lee who was bitin' on his bottom lip as a tear flowed from the corner of his eye and into his ear. I wasn't sure if the tear was from the fear of bein' diapered, from pa scarin' the life out of us all, his cracked head or from bitin' his lip so hard but I guess it don't much matter, any or all probably would do the trick so I didn't blame him for it none.
Pa had gone up to ma, hugged her from behind, kissed the nape of her neck and whispered, "I'm sorry, I'll try but I cannot promise anything, not just yet."
Ma was tearin' up now and patted his hand, which was restin' on her pregnant belly. "That's all I ask."
Pa raised a hand, pointed his pinky at Kyle-Lee and his index finer from the same hand at Kane and announced, "I will see to your chores today and tomorrow but I best not hear that you've been up muckin' about. Come the day after tomorrow, and only if Doc Wilson says it's ok, I'll expect both you back at it?"
I couldn't see Kane past Kyle-Lee just then but I image that he was noddin' his head same as Kyle-Lee.
"Right then!" pa said and kissed ma on the lips before startin' for the door. He hadn't made it three steps before Kyle-Lee could be heard, "Ma please don't make..."
Pa stopped but neither turned nor spoke however his lack of words and actions shouted volumes and not another peep escaped either of my brother's mouths for several hours.
With amazement I laid on my bed and watched Kyle-Lee, who was starin' hypnotically at the ceilin' while ma pulled Kane's pants off and proceeded to pin him into one of my diapers followed by a pair of clear plastic pants.
As ma moved over to Kyle-Lee's bed she said, "Raise up for me please," so that she could pull his pillow out from under him. She handed it to him and he tried to put it over his face but ma stopped him, "Don't do that, you're libel to hurt yourself again." Instead ma lifted and tucked the pillow under his head. She also kissed his bandage ever so soft.
I suppose it would have been better had Karen not barged into our room right as ma was pullin' down Kyle-Lee's pants.
The look on his face said what his lips didn't. His head turned the color of a radish and his eyes were slammed tightly shut. It was as though he was thinkin' that as long as his eyes were closed then none of this could be happening.
"Karen sweaty, could you give us a minute alone, oh and could you close the door too?" ma asked politely.
When I looked back to Karen, her mouth was hangin' open and she had the biggest anime eyes. Ma had to repeat herself before Karen snapped out of her daze and closed the door.
Kyle-Lee wasn't makin' a sound but he was cryin' now, not little tears but big heart wrenchin' tears of humiliation. Despite ma's best attempts she couldn't calm him down at all. She had some difficulty gettin' the plastic pants on him due to the fact that they had been bought for me and barely stretched enough to fit him but somehow she managed to get them on him. When she finished diaperin' my two brothers she left the room and I looked back to Kyle-Lee; he had his blanket pulled up tightly to his chin and was still weepin' quietly.
True to pa's word, none of us had to get up to do chores or go to school and it wasn't until lunchtime that Kane finally started talkin' to me.
He got up slowly, came over to my bed and laid down next to me with his head restin' on my shoulder blade and his hand restin' on the small of my back. The front of his diaper was pressed against my thigh and a confusin' chill raced up my spine.
"Hey, did you notice that Kevin weren't in his bed last night or this morning?" Kane asked softly.
I elevated my head slightly so that I could nod.
"Hey Kyle-Lee, did you notice?" Kane asked loud enough that Kyle-Lee could hear him on the other side of the room.
When Kyle-Lee didn't answer he repeated his question but instead of answerin' Kyle-Lee got up from his bed, pulled on his bathrobe and waddled across the room to the door. He only paused long enough to heatedly snarl, "I'm never talkin' to either of you again!" and slammed the door closed behind him.
Kane shouted after him, "Pa said we got to stay in bed!" which was kind of a dumb thin' to say since he was out of his own bed and in mine.
Kyle-Lee wasn't gone very long, as a matter-of-fact he wasn't even gone two minutes when Kane and I could hear ma shouting, "What do you think you are doin' out of bed? Do you want me to tell your father?"
Our bedroom door flew open and in stormed Kyle-Lee lookin' madder than ever. He looked to us and said, "SHUT UP!"
"I didn't say nothing!" I said.
I couldn't believe what Kane said next. "Don't pay him no mind, he's just grumpy `cause he has a wet diaper!"
This got me to roll up onto one elbow to see for myself but I couldn't see anythin' `cause Kyle-Lee still had his robe on.
"I'm warnin' you!" Kyle-Lee shook a fist toward Kane.
Kane leaned close to my ear, "It's true I seen as he was puttin' on his robe, he peed his diaper!"
The vanes popped out on Kyle-Lees' neck as his embarrassment and temper grew exponentially.
Both of his fists are clenched tightly closed and if ma had not come in when she did I expect that punches would have started flyin' at any second.
Ma pointed at Kyle-Lee's bed, "Bed or belt?"
Without answerin' Kyle-Lee went to his dresser and pulled out a belt. He held it out to ma and said, "I'd rather get a woop'n then stay in here with them!"
With hands on hips ma stared at him for the longest time before grabbin' the belt from him, throwin' it to the floor, then grabbed his wrist and marched him out of our room.
Kane looked utterly pleased with himself. His cheeks were puffed out and his eyes appeared cheerful as he blurted out, "That was the funniest thin I ever done seen!"
"You're insane, you know that?" I asked and plopped my face back into my pillow.
"Yeah, but I like bein' crazy!" he said and stuck his finer in my ear!
"Stop it you dork!" I covered my ear so he couldn't do it again, "And get back in your own bed before ma comes back in."
But ma didn't return, at least not right away; it wasn't until just before suppertime that we saw her or anyone again. Karen came into our room and quickly grabbed her mouth and nose.
"Oh my goodness Nevada, did you poop your bed?" she crowed.
"NO!" I protested!
Ma must a been in the hallway cause she suddenly appeared and screwed up her a face, "Kane is that you?"
I couldn't believe Kane's response. Sportin' a devilish grin he answered, "I pooded!"
Karen turned a nice shade of green just before runnin' from our room. I suppose I couldn't smell it because I'd been in the room the whole time and my nose was use to it. Kane and I had been lyin' in our beds tellin' each other jokes and ghost stories all afternoon. He never once said anythin' about havin' messed himself and I never smelled any sign of him havin' done so.
"What are you doin' in my bed?" Kristen was heard shoutin' from down the hallway, "Ma Kyle-Lee is in my room!"
"I know he is, leave him alone!" ma sang back.
Well at least now Kane and I knew where Kyle-Lee had been all afternoon.
Kristen came into our room complaining, "Ma I got to change my clothes, I can't do it with him in there!"
Ma groaned, "Aaaaah Kristen just get your clothes and change in the bathroom then!"
Kristen seein' Kane layin' on top of his covers with his diaper in plane view took one whiff reached up and plugged her nose, "Wow that stinks!" she said wavin' her other hand in front of her face.
"Need help with the babies?" Kristen said which turned out to be the wrong thin to say at that second. Apparently Kyle-Lee had decided to abandon the girl's room and return to our room but he had walked in when Kristen had said that. In a flash he was on her punching, kickin' and scratching. The whole thin lasted all of three seconds but when ma pulled Kyle-Lee off Kathy we all could see that he was bleedin' again; not from his forehead but from his arm where Kristen had sank her teeth into his upper arm.
Pa was late gettin' home from the farmers feed store and after ma told him what had happened he stormed into our room, pulled Kyle-Lee from his bed and took him out of the house and into the barn. Kane and I didn't see either one of them again until the next day.
Not long after the sun had set ma came in with Kathy in tow. Ma proceeded to change Kane's diaper and she had instructed Kathy to put a diaper on me tonight. Ma's reasonin' to her was, "You might as well start gettin' practice for when the baby comes."
Kathy did a really good job of pinnin' a diaper on me without hurtin' my bottom at all. I was a little embarrassed when she started rubbin' the diaper cream all over my diaper area but when I looked across the room and saw mom doin' the same to Kane and I seen how he was smilin' gleefully I made up my mind that I wasn't goin' to be embarrassed about it.
While Kathy was pinnin' the diaper on me I got up the courage to ask, "Ma, is Kevin ever comin' back again?"
Smilin' she answered, "He and your father are goin' over tomorrow to talk with Meggin's parents."
"But where is Kevin sleeping?" Kane asked.
"He's in the loft." Karen added.
"Won't pa let him in the house?" I asked.
Ma made a clickin' sound with her tongue, "It's not like that at all. May-Bell has the worms and he's been tendin' to her." Ma reassured.
Kane snorted at this and said, "Will we get worms since we drink her milk?"
This idea disgusted Kathy to no end, "Eeeeew! I had milk today for breakfast!"
Ma chuckled, "That wasn't from May-Bell; it was goat milk from the Guffy's place."
I added, "I new it tasted different!"
"How do you know? You had chocolate in you're!" Kathy said.
"I could still tell!" I argued.
"That's enough." Ma said.
Kathy held up three different pairs of plastic pants and asked, "Green, clear or fire trucks?"
"I WANT THE FIRE TRUCKS!" Kane squalled.
I don't know why that embarrassed me so much but it did. Kathy shrugged, tossed the plastic pants with the fire trucks on them over to ma and then said, "I like the green ones; they remind me of Christmas.
Our bedroom window was cracked about two inches and from outside we could hear music. Not just any music, it was the strummin' of a guitar and the screechin' of a violin. It was a good sign that Pa and Kevin were not all mad and fightin' with each other about Kevin wantin' to get married; at least not tonight. They were out in the barn playin' music together and as always happens when they play, Whiskey, pa's huntin' dog, joins in and begins howlin' along.
It was perplexin' to be hearin' pa play his violin the way he was, I mean after seein' how mad he was when he came for Kyle-Lee I guess I didn't expect him to be playin' such a happy kind of tune.
That thought lead me back to Kyle-Lee again and I guess I wasn't the only one wonderin where pa had taken Kyle-Lee cause when I asked Kathy and Kane wanted to know too. "Ma where did pa take Kyle-Lee?"
"Did he throw him out of the house?" Kane asked stupidly. At least I thought it was stupid.
"No he didn't throw him out of the house, but never you mind about your brother right now," was ma's reply.
The next day we found out from Kristen that pa had made Kyle-Lee and Kristen sleep on the floor of ma and pa's room. Pa had told them both that if they are goin' to act like an animal then they get to sleep on the floor like animals.
The next day for breakfast Kane, Kyle-Lee and myself were allowed to eat breakfast at the table but had to return to our beds afterward. Kyle-Lee didn't say a single word to Kane and me all stinkin' day and after a while we acted like he wasn't even there. Just as we'd done the day before Kane and I told each other jokes, made up ghost stories and told about thins we were goin' to do the next day.
At dinner time that evenin pa, ma and Kevin were absent. Karen had made supper and was left to watch the rest of us while they were gone over to the Griffiths. Pa had taken the night off at the feed store and all three of them had dressed in their Sunday best before leaving. I'm not sure what I was expectin' but when they all returned lookin' just as tidy as when they left I had felt a little disappointed. I guess I had expected pa to have got into a fist fight with Meggin's pa, but that's not what happened at all.
We were not told the details of what transpired but later the next day I was able to put together this much. Our pa did a lot of yellin' at first and Meggin's pa did his share of yellin' too; then both our ma and Meggin's ma stepped in and told them to stop behavin' like a couple stubborn mules. In the end, Meggin's pa forbid Kevin and Meggin to get married and if they did he'd have nothin' to do with his daughter again.
That was how it was left and everyone thought that it was over between Kevin and Meggin until the day that they both came up missing.
Two days after Kyle-Lee and Kane had crashed into each other Doc Wilson had stopped by to check on ma who had been havin' some pains in her back. He gave my two brothers a look over and said that they looked like they both needed to be back in school. I don't think Kyle-Lee was too keen on the idea of goin' to school lookin' like a raccoon but I think he was happy just to be able to get out of bed and get outside again. Kane on the other hand was more then excited with the notion of showin' off his busted nose and grossin' out all the girls at school.
None of us realized at all that somethin' was wrong with ma and I guess that's the way she and pa wanted it up until that evening. All of us kids had been sent to our rooms while Doc Wilson talked to our pa and ma but none of us went to our rooms. Everyone except for Kevin, who we thought was in the barn with May-Bell, had stopped on the steps and was listening.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this," Doc Wilson was saying, "but I don't like the sound of yours or the babies heartbeats."
"Is the baby ok?" pa asked soundin' very concerned.
"Well, I think with strict bed rest," Doc Wilson paused before adding, "and I mean strict!" he continued, "You and the baby will be just fine."
"She'll get it!" pa reassured.
Ma started to protest but Doc Wilson jumped in, "Listen, I'm not goin' to sugar coat this, you're to go to bed and you'll stay in bed until you deliver this baby or the chances are high that you could loose this baby, and your family could possibly end up loosin' you."
Despite the surety that we'd all be in big trouble when pa seen us with sayin' a word the six of us went down the stairs and into the livin' room where we found ma sittin' in her rockin' chair crying. Pa looked pretty dang angry but Karen spoke up, "We all heard and we will help.
Kathy added, "I will do all the washin' and I can make super and keep the house clean."
"I will help!" Kristen said which chewin' on the collar of her shirt.
Kane who was nearly in tears, "I want to help too."
With a lump in my throat I added, "We all can help and you will be fine ma, you'll see!"
I looked up at pa expectin' him to start yellin' at us all for listenin' in when we were supposed to be in our rooms but instead he had tears rollin' down his face. He looked at Doc Wilson and then down to ma and said, "She'll get all the rest she and the baby need. We'll see to it."
Doc Wilson pulled out a handkerchief from inside his jacket pocket, blew his nose into it and said, "That, that will be just fine."
Pa reached out for ma's hand, "Come on; let's get you to bed."
Kane turned to face the rest of us, "Well don't stand there, ma needs lots of rest!" and everyone, ma and pa included, laughed.
To be continued . . .