Indulgence ©2006

By Jack Llawayllynn


Chapter 14: Utterly Shattered

Matt stirred restlessly, not yet wanting to relinquish sleep. Turning over to his side he curled forward seeking a more comfortable spot but his forehead smacked against an unyielding object and Matt's eyes sprang open to find his view filled with the sight of Sin's naked flesh. Matt raised his head a little and saw that he had hit his forehead on Sin's hipbone. Sin was sitting up in the bed, leaning against the headboard, but Matt's eyes remained riveted to that hipbone, to the dark bush of black hair nearby and the perfectly erect shaft of Sin's cock. A bark of laughter erupted from Matt as he shifted so that he could push himself up onto an elbow. He ran a hand over Sin's thigh, let his fingers trail over to touch the silky smoothness of Sin's cock but did not let it linger there. Instead he trailed his hand on up, following the thin trail of black hair that lightly peppered the flat stomach, up to dip a finger gently into the shallow depression of bellybutton, up onto a hard, smooth, solid chest. Finally he raised his eyes to Sin's face...and froze.

Sin's eyes bored into Matt's, the gray irises cold with some violent emotion. His jaw was clenched, his mouth a hard stern line, his brows glowering. Matt felt a shiver of apprehension and tried to scramble away but Sin's hand darted out and tangled in Matt's hair close to the scalp. Matt hadn't expected to meet with violence this morning. So shocked was he that he didn't fight when Sin jerked him forward. Matt sprawled across Sin's chest, laying still. Slowly Sin's hand released his hair and slipped around his back, cradling Matt closer, chest to chest, Matt's face pressed into the side of Sin's neck. Sin nuzzled his face in Matt's hair, inhaling deeply, before finally resting his chin on top of Matt's head.

"I can't control my hate Matt," Sin said softly, his hand slowly caressing the flesh of Matt's back. "It lives in me like a parasite, sapping away all that's good. If only I could erase the memories of all I've lost, all that I have let be taken away from me, of all the chaos that follows in my wake. I hate life sometimes and I hate myself always." Sin's sigh ruffled a strand of Matt's hair. "Sometimes I want nothing more than to kill something, plunge my hands into blood and offer it up to appease the demon of my wrath."

Matt shivered inwardly. He shifted his weight so that he wasn't lying so heavily against Sin, lifted his head and placed a tender kiss on Sin's lips. Sin kissed him back just as lightly, and then moved up to kiss his forehead as he tucked Matt back against him once more.

"I shouldn't be here," Sin said quietly, his voice rumbling through his chest under Matt's ear. "I am endangering so many people, you, Drift, Estaban, the members of my band, my co workers, the hooker I take out to dinner every once in a while. All of you are tools, targets in McKenna's eyes. I need to leave."

"No, no more running," Matt muttered, pressing back against Sin. "You're right, we are tools. You can put us to much better and more effective use than McKenna can though. It's time we turn the tables and start hunting." Sin didn't respond and Matt pushed away from him and looked Sin in the eye. "You made me bend my neck to you, humiliated me in front of others, and now you think to walk away? It doesn't work like that. You wanted me to bend to being your shadow, well fine, I did it. Now no matter how hard you run I'll be right there, trailing you even closer than McKenna has ever managed to do. I allowed you to dominate me to some extent, but you do not control me utterly."

Sin snorted and pushed Matt out of his face. "This isn't a fucking game Matt. Trish is dead. Have you forgotten?"

Matt shook his head, sadly, bitterly, but when he raised it his eyes were just as cold and full of hate as Sin's. "It's you that don't get it Sin. Trish was mine. Trish was always mine. I don't care how many times you grudge fucked her. She never felt for you what she felt for me. I hurt her, and ultimately I killed her. You think you have some right to wear a blanket of guilt? Well you don't! I am the one who dragged her into all of this, not you. I let her follow me into darkness and at the time didn't give a shit because I was too busy worrying about myself, about my desires, my feelings. I just threw hers away. I could have told her the truth. I could have protected her from you but I didn't. I just let it go. Fuck you if you think this is your battle alone. McKenna pasted a bull's eye on himself just for me."

"McKenna is mine to kill Matt." Sin growled, his eyes narrowing.

Matt leaned forward closer, leaned in until his mouth was near Sin's ear. "I'll let you kill him if you get it through your thick skull that this is our hunt, not yours. We hunt together Sin. Whatever hate you feel for McKenna I can assure you is mirrored to perfection within me."

Sin's arm came up and trapped Matt there, hugging him close until Matt felt his bruised ribs creak. "God Matt, don't leave me."

"You were the one speaking of leaving Sin. I have paid in bruises and broken bones for the right to be with you."

Sin finally released Matt and leaned back against the head board once more, his eyes closing wearily. "I don't want to stay here Matt, this apartment I mean. I don't like it. It feels, I don't know, just as haunted as mine did. Let's move. Find a bigger place. If I am going to quit running then I want us to get a place together, sign the lease together, god, start a LIFE."

Matt stared at him in amazement for a moment trying to adjust to the reality that Sin was speaking of them as an actual couple, dating, more even. Matt felt the crush of sudden anxiety, panic building in his brain. He was in a relationship with a man. A real relationship, not just a fun fuck, not just a thrill, but a budding and growing commitment. Matt shook his head. His friends and family from before he met Sin did not even know that Matt was gay, bisexual, or whatever it was that he had become. Matt himself wasn't sure what label to wear. He and Sin had not talked about what to do if Matt's parents suddenly came to town and dropped in unannounced, or what to say if they ran into one of Matt's acquaintances on the street. It would be easy enough to introduce Sin as just a buddy, but now, with so much growing between them, Matt wondered if Sin would accept that, if he would allow himself to be relegated to nothing more than a pal in the eyes of the world in general. Sin had made it plain to Matt that he wanted to dominate, in essence to own him, and Matt had accepted that as a condition of their relationship, but just how far would Sin take that? Would he demand to be recognized before all as Matt's lover?

Sin had opened his eyes and was watching the expressions flash across Matt's face. Not sure what was causing him so much stress Sin cocked his head to the side. "Does this place, this apartment mean that much to you?"

Matt turned to away, trying to hide a flash of guilt. "No, of course not. I could care less about this place. Besides my lease is nearly up anyway."

"I know."

Matt's head whipped back around. "How do you know that?"

"I've been here several times while you were away at work. I know all about you Matt, from what brand of deodorant you prefer to who your first crush was in school."

Matt groaned. "God, you must have found that diary my mother bought for me in elementary school. Why didn't I ever throw it away?"

Sin chuckled deeply.

"And what the fuck gave you the right to go through my things?" Matt demanded.

"You had no compunction about plundering about in my apartment when I was away," Sin said without the least bit of remorse in his voice.

"Yes but you had invited me there and knew I was there alone. You broke in to my place!"

"Easily broke in, may I point out. Which is a very good reason for us to leave. It isn't safe."

"Did you have somewhere in mind?" Matt asked.

"There is an empty apartment in Estaban's building, just down the hall from him. I think it would be better if we stuck as close as possible for now."

"I'm not sure Estaban will feel the same about it. That pretty little scene you set up yesterday really hurt him Sin."

Sin's eyes glazed over for a moment, the darkness of the day before evident in the slump of his shoulders, the tension of jaw, the downward turn of his lips. Finally he blinked and nodded. "I know. But he understands more than you realize."

"Alright Sin, I have no objections to looking at the apartment. We do need to discuss a few things though." Matt shifted uncomfortably. "My um, my parents have no idea that I...that I..."

"I'm not going to out you as a queer if that's what you're afraid of Matt," Sin snapped at him. "As far as anyone else is concerned all we are sharing is rent." Sin's eyes sparked with vexation. "No one at work knows I am gay either. I'm not ashamed of it but I don't flash it around either. If I want sex it's between me and the person I intend to fuck, no one else. It just simply isn't their business. And," Sin said, suddenly quirking one corner of his mouth up, "I think you should know I intend to fuck you often."

Matt looked up expecting Sin to make good on that promise immediately but suddenly he was once again pushing Matt away. "Get dressed kid," Sin said as he climbed out of bed. "We have things to do."

Matt gaped at his back. It was obvious that Sin was just as horny as Matt was but yet once again he was denying Matt, shutting him out. With a deep sigh Matt reached for his clothes.

* * * *

Drift was dressed in nothing but baggy jeans and socks when he opened the door for them when they arrived at Estaban's apartment and invited them in. A steady stream of cursing in Spanish floated down the hall.

"What's up with Esty?" Sin asked curiously, peering toward the sounds as Drift led them inside.

Drift sighed and moved a cat out of the way so that he could take a seat on a bar stool in the kitchen. "Water started leaking out from under the sink in the bathroom so he called in a plumber. Guy got here and crawled under there and said the leak was coming from inside the wall behind the cabinet and proceeded to tear the wall out then said he didn't have what he needed to fix it and would have to leave and come back. That was hours ago. You know how Esty can't stand a mess. He's in there tidying up."

Sin grinned and headed down the hall, Matt tagging along curiously. Both of them peered around the doorsill into the bathroom. Estaban was on his knees using a towel to dry a damp spot near the cabinet, a basket full of tools, pipes and wet towels nearby. Estaban glanced up at them sharply. "You see the mess that asshole left?" Estaban demanded, flinging open the cabinet. Both Matt and Sin leaned down to look into the small interior at the mess inside.

"He'll fix it! Quit spazzing out!" Drift said from behind them.

"He better the hell fix it!" Estaban snarled as he climbed to his feet, slung the damp towel into the basket with the others and pushed past Matt and Sin.

Drift looked after him unhappily. "I think I'll just put this on the washing machine to get it out of the way until that guy comes back," he said lifting the basket. Matt and Sin stepped out of Drift's way and went to find Estaban making himself a drink in the kitchen.

"So," Estaban said after he handed out drinks to each of them. "What brings you two here today?"

"We want to look at that apartment down the hall," Sin answered and Estaban's brows rose.

"What? Like the two of you moving here, into this building?"

"If it wouldn't bother you. It really would be nice to be closer together. Safer too."

Estaban snorted and tuned away. "More like you want to rub it in my face some more about Matt."

Matt glanced up, saw Drift standing in the doorway, listening, looking ill. Matt looked away from him, feeling bad for Drift, knowing the kid thought himself in love with Estaban but Estaban was making it plain that he was still hung up on Matt.

"Ah, come on Esty, it's not like that at all," Sin said, cajoling. "You can get us in to look at it right?"

"Yeah, I guess I can. I'll have to call Lynn for the key." Estaban reached passed Matt to get to the phone. "Move your sweet cheeks there Matt," he said jokingly. Matt, who had been thinking about how horny he still was, accidentally inhaled his drink, coughed it up his nose and sat sputtering and flushing under Estaban's startled stare. Suddenly Drift, Sin and Estaban were all staring at Matt, amused to see him blushing. All three of them burst out in laughter. "I must have touched on a sore subject," Estaban said, his eyes sparkling intensely enough to show that he meant the pun. Matt looked away and the three others burst out laughing again.

"No, I assure you the subject is not at all sore." Matt said, finding a bit of humor in it himself.

"Damn, you guys are nuts," Drift said chuckling as he turned away. "I'm going down to check the mail."

Matt and Sin listened as Estaban placed the call after Drift left but found that Lynn was not available, they would have to get the keys another time. Suddenly the front door slammed forcefully and Drift came flying into the kitchen, his socks sliding as soon as he hit the linoleum. He zipped past Estaban and was saved from crashing headlong into the refrigerator only by Sin's quick reflexes as he stepped forward to block him. Drift slammed into Sin's chest and Sin steadied him on his feet. "What the hell kid?" Sin demanded. "What's the rush?"

Drift looked around in a panic, his eyes huge with fear. Estaban leapt to his feet. "What is it?"

Matt, seeing the white tension in Drift's face and the fear in his eyes had already reached for his gun only to realize that he had forgotten it.

Drift reached out and clutched at Estaban's arm. "My parents just got out of the elevator! They've got two cops with them! They're coming this way!" Drift panted.

"Did they see you?" Estaban demanded.

"No, I had just stepped around the corner and caught sight of them, they didn't see me. I'm sure."

"Could you be mistaken? I mean if you only glimpsed them maybe it was someone else that just resembled your parents," Matt said hopefully. Drift gave him a look of such pure disgust that Matt threw up his hands. "Right, of course you're sure."

"What the hell do we do? How did they find me? Oh god Esty, they'll take me back for sure!"

"The hell they will!" Estaban snarled. "I don't know how they found you but we have to assume they know which apartment to look in. We've got to hide you somewhere." No sooner where the words out his mouth than a sharp rap came on the door.

"Oh god!" Drift groaned, looking like he might faint.

"Come on!" Sin grabbed Drift and pushed him toward the hall. "Stall them Esty, tell them you have guests but you don't know anything about a boy. Matt and I will be in the shower."

"The shower?" Estaban exclaimed. "How is that going to help? We have to hide Drift."

"Just trust me!" Sin hissed over another steady rap on the door. Estaban whirled away toward the door and Sin crowded both Matt and Drift into the bathroom.

Matt looked around the small space in panic. There was absolutely no where that they could hide a slim but muscular sixteen year old boy.

"Shit Sin! What did you do? They'll find me in here! They have cops with them! They'll be packing a search warrant, I just know it!" Drift was as white as the snow his name implied and shaking like a leaf. Sin reached down and opened the cabinet door under the sink.

"In," he commanded, pushing Drift downward.

"I can't fit in there!"

The sound of raised voices out in the apartment sent Drift scrambling for his knees. With the agility of circus contortionist he forced his head and shoulders into the hole in the wall at the back of the cabinet and pulled his legs and body in tight around the plumbing under the sink until all that was visible in the open doorway of the cabinet was a large pale swath of his back, his spine clearly defined in his tortured position. Sin slid his gun out of his pants at the small of his back and checked to make sure the safety was on. He slipped the gun into a tiny space under Drift's torturously twisted knees and quietly closed the cabinet door.

"Can't have them finding me packing that particular little beauty," Sin muttered as he turned away from the sink.

"My god Sin!" Matt said in horror, "He can't stay like that for long! I can't believe he fit in there in the first place!"

"It's the best I could come up with. Now get your clothes off!"


"They probably won't think to look in there because it looks to small to hide in but they might. We have to make sure they don't. Now goddamnit, hurry!" Sin was shedding his clothes even as he spoke, pausing at the end to dangle his underwear across the cabinet handle. Matt stared at the underwear, his mouth almost quirking into a smile. They really did look like they had just accidentally gotten hung there after being quickly tossed aside. Matt quickly shed his clothes, tossing them about, the bathroom now looking as messy as a dressing room abandoned by teenage girls. Sin pushed Matt into the shower and turned the water on, both of them hissing together when the water came out ice cold. Sin adjusted the temperature and Matt quickly worked Sin's braid loose. Someone began to bang on the bathroom door.

"Get lost!" Sin called out sharply.

"Police! We have a search warrant!"

"Get on your knees," Sin hissed to Matt, pushing him down and Matt complied without thought, intent on making the scene as real as possible to distract all attention away from the tiny cabinet under the sink.

"Well come search and be done with it!" Sin called back laughing. "I'm busy."

The door opened and the shower curtain was pulled back. Sin had tangled his hand in Matt's hair but still Matt managed to turn his face to wall, away from the audience even as he heard a chorus of gasps. He felt the burn of humiliation all the way to his toes. Slowly he stood up and let Sin push him to the back of the shower stall. Totally unconscious of his nakedness Sin smiled at the skanky looking couple who had crowded in with the officer who held back the curtain. "Find what you're looking for?"

The officer's eyes twinkled with laughter but he kept his face straight as he turned toward the couple. "Either of these men your son?" he asked, though it was quite obvious that he could tell neither of them were under age.

"No!" The woman said savagely. "I tell you my son is here though! We have pictures of him with this...this...spic!" She pointed nastily at Estaban who was standing in the doorway. "If this is the kind of goings on that he's been exposed to then I want all of these men arrested!"

"Now see here sweet tush," Sin drawled out, leaning arrogantly against the shower wall. "I don't know who the hell you are looking for but there is no law against my boy here giving me head in the shower. As you can see he's quite old enough for me to legally fuck him." Matt felt the color drain from his face as the woman's eyes swept over him and then narrowed but the large man she was with pushed out of the bathroom in a rush as if he were about to be violently sick. Sin sneered at his retreating back.

"It's obvious your son is not here ma'am," the officer said, then turned back to Sin. "I'm sorry to have disturbed your...ummm..."

"It's quite all right," Sin said smiling once more at the officer, thinking the man looked strangely familiar. "Now if you don't mind we'd like to finish."

The woman who claimed to be Drift's mother turned and stomped from the room. Another cop pushed into the room in her wake, a small lady cop who stopped and stared at the naked men in the shower with huge eyes. Then she laughed out loud before turning to her partner. "The apartment's clean. There isn't anyone else here."

"Fine, let's leave these gentlemen to their business then," the male cop said, starting to turn away. "Wait a're that dude from Chains, Micheal Synn, aren't you?" he stopped and asked. Sin nodded a bit warily. "Ah hell, I gotta take you in."

"What?" Matt demanded, upset enough by this statement to actually step forward by Sin.

"He's wanted for questioning in the death of his girlfriend," the cop explained.

"I already gave a statement to the police," Sin said, no longer laughing at the situation.

"There have been some questions that have come up since, something about bruises."

"Ah shit," Sin sighed. "Step out and I'll dress."

The two cops looked at him doubtfully.

"What? You think I'm going to sneak down the drain? I said I'd get dressed and come along...just give me a minute. Go take care of that wacky woman you brought here. Crazy bitch, thinking Matt here was a kid."

The two officers stepped out and Sin and Matt both dressed quickly. "I damn sure wasn't expecting that. I remember that cop now, he pulls security shift down at the bar sometimes where we gig. Just my luck he would recognize me. Get the kid out of that wall as quick as we leave okay? I'm worried about him."

Matt nodded and watched as Sin went out into the hall to speak to the officers. Drift's parents had gone, ushered briskly out the door by Estaban with threats to have them arrested for harassment if they ever bothered him again. Sin started up a colorful conversation about music with the two officers as they escorted him out. "I'll pick you up at the station when they are done with you," Estaban told Sin. "Just give me a call."

Sin nodded as nonchalantly as possible and left with the cops. Estaban breathed a sigh of relief. "Where the hell did you hide Drift?" Esty asked looking at Matt curiously.

"He's under the bathroom sink."

"What!" Estaban darted to the bathroom and nearly wrenched the cabinet door off its hinges. "Drift! Can you get out?"

"Are they gone?" came an echoing voice from the wall.

"Yes, yes, they've gone."

"I think I'm stuck!"

"Oh god. What do we do Matt? We can't call emergency help, they'd just take him away."

"Easy Esty, Drift got in there, he'll get out. Just don't panic him okay?" Matt reassured as he slipped Sin's gun into the waist band of his own pants.

The problem was that Drift had panicked and jammed himself in as far as he could. His muscles had cramped and every tiny movement was painful. Matt and Estaban had to get on their knees and try to get their hands into the tiny places not filled by Drift's body to help ease him loose a little at a time. It took them nearly forty five minutes to pull Drift from the bathroom sink cabinet. No sooner than he was out though then there was another knock at the door.

"Oh god!" Drift groaned, shaking all over, sitting in the bathroom floor while the cramps from his long confinement eased.

"I'll take care of it. Don't worry!" Estaban assured him and hurried out, pulling the bathroom door shut behind him.

"Can you stand up kid?" Matt asked, and when Drift nodded he bent to help him to his feet.

"What do you mean I can't finish the job yet?" said a loud man's voice.

"It's the plumber!" Drift gasped in relief and clutched at Matt, sobbing. "Just the damn plumber."

"The kid's in the shower," Esty was trying to explain, "Are you hungry? I can fix you lunch. You wouldn't pass up a free meal now would you?"

Their voices faded away and Matt stood holding onto Drift while he was wracked with sobs. "I...I really do need a shower," Drift said sniffling and Matt agreed, the kid was covered in damp plaster, dust and grime from inside the wall.

"I'll just slip out and down the hall to the bedroom," Matt said, stepping away but Drift clutched at him.

"No! Don't leave me! I ...just stay okay?"

Matt nodded and tried not to look as Drift shed his clothes. Matt had been torturously horny every since he had given Sin head the night before and the sight of Drift's slim pale buttocks were not helping in the least. Drift started to step into the shower but stopped with a gasp, clutching his leg.

"Cramp?" Matt asked and Drift nodded. With a despairing sigh Matt stripped once more and climbed into the shower with Drift, helping to steady him when another cramp assailed him. Drift was still frightened by what had happened, terrified that his parents might return and he leaned his shaven bald head against Matt's chest and wept. Matt wanted to push him away but didn't. He knew Drift needed reassurance. Damn but the kid had no idea what he was doing to Matt. Well, he had to have some idea since Matt's dick was standing at attention and couldn't be missed.

"Kiss me Matt," Drift pleaded suddenly and with a groan Matt did. His mouth slanted over Drift's, his hand on the smoothness of his scalp, the other gripping one of Drift's delectable buttocks. He pulled Drift up hard against him, wanting nothing more than to turn him around and fuck him thoroughly. Drift seemed to be waiting for precisely that, seemed to be begging for it and Matt's control shattered violently. He spun Drift around and pushed him against the shower wall, dazzled by the view of the many tattoos down the kid's shoulders and back. Matt leaned in and began to kiss Drift's neck, pressing his throbbing cock against the crack of Drift's pale wet buttocks. Drift whimpered and let his head loll in expectant abandon. Suddenly Matt's oath to Sin entered his mind. Less than 48 hours had passed and yet here he was on the verge of throwing it away. With a shattered curse Matt pulled free and stepped out of the shower.

"Matt!" Drift called desperately.

"I'm not leaving kid. I'll stay in here. Hurry up though, that guy won't wait long."

"But Matt..."

"Think kid! Do you want to do that to Esty?"

Drift sobbed but he did hurry after that and together they slipped down the hall away from the voices in the kitchen. A little while later Estaban came in and quietly shut the door. "He's working on the plumbing now, the damn pig," Esty said under his breath. He turned to face them and scowled deeply when Drift blushed scarlet and turned his face away.

"Did I miss something Matt?" Estaban asked in a dangerous undertone.

"Absolutely not," Matt assured him.

"Esty, I'm sorry," Drift said as he rushed into Estaban's offered embrace. "I was scared. It was just a kiss, that's all."

"It's alright," Estaban soothed but he shot Matt a glare of loathing, his eyes dropping down to hardened ridge in Matt's pants. Matt glared back.

"Nothing happened in the shower Esty," Matt said coldly. "Just because I get a hard on looking at a naked ass doesn't mean a thing."

Estaban nodded abruptly and led Drift over to the bed and sat him down. Estaban produced a picture from his back pocket and handed it to Matt. Matt looked down at it curiously. It was a picture of Estaban and Drift coming out of Chico's together, Esty's arm around Drift's shoulders, both laughing. "That's a copy of the picture the cops got from the parents. They claimed that an "interested party" was helping them find their son and sent it to them. I think that interested party may be the one that is after Sin."

"McKenna? But why? What purpose did this serve?"

"Obviously he expected for them to actually find Drift and take him. Another target so to speak."

Matt nodded, agreeing. "We need to talk this over with Sin. Has he called from the station yet?"

Estaban shook his head. "I don't expect to hear from him for hours Matt. Those cops will drill him till he has steam coming out of his ears. Maybe we should find a lawyer for him just to be on the safe side."

"A lawyer!" Matt gasped, horrified at the thought. "But he didn't do anything!"

Estaban laughed mirthlessly. "Oh, we both know Sin is no innocent bystander."

"But he didn't kill her!" Matt snarled.

"No, but the cops don't care about that do they? Besides, there is no telling what kinds of traps and snares this McKenna has in place for Sin."

"I'm calling Silverman," Matt said resolutely. "He needs to know about Trish anyway."

"Use the phone there by the bed Matt. Drift let's go see if this so called plumber is actually fixing things or tearing them up."

Matt flipped through his wallet and found his boss's home number. Silverman answered the phone on the third ring with a cheerful "'ello".

"Mr. Silverman? It's Mathew Darvins. I...I really need to speak with you in person," Matt said, only just realizing that he should indeed talk to him face to face.

"Is something wrong son?" Silverman asked gently.

"Yes sir, there is," Matt said, suddenly fighting back tears.

Silverman heard the catch in Matt's throat and immediately became concerned. "Come on over Matt. We'll talk here at the house. You do know where I live don't you?"

"Yes sir, and thank you sir. I'll be there soon." Matt hung up the phone and choked back a terrible sob that threatened to bubble up in his throat. It took him some time before he was able to master his suddenly roiling emotions and leave the room. He stopped briefly in the kitchen to tell Esty and Drift where he was going. As he left the building he nearly stumbled at the curb, his emotions once more trying to surface. He fought them down and hailed a cab to Silverman's posh home on Greyson Lane. Silverman met him at the door and waved him in.

"Sit, sit," Silverman said, indicating a chair across from him in his living room. Matt's eyes went to the huge windows on one wall and stared out at an immaculately manicured lawn. "Tell me now, what is all this about?"

"You remember my girlfriend Trish?" Matt asked, still not looking over at Silverman.

"Yes of course, lovely girl, just lovely."

"She was murdered yesterday." Suddenly Matt wished he call the words back. The numbness fled and a great bubble of despair burst inside him, filled him past endurance and he was sobbing, blubbering, spilling his guts to Silverman who sat listening in silence. Matt couldn't stop speaking, there was no will inside of him strong enough to stop the flow, no room for the caution of self preservation and he told it all, from the night he met Sin on the bus until the moment he sat down in Silverman's home. It seemed like an eternity passed as he sat there baring all the truth, all that he knew he should keep hidden. Finally out of words Matt shut his mouth and stared bleakly out of the windows, afraid to meet Silverman's eyes.

"Oh Matt!" a woman's voice sobbed and suddenly Matt found himself wrapped in Jill's embrace. He had no idea when she had come into the room and for the life of him he could not figure out how she had come to be there.

"Jill?" Matt patted at her back awkwardly, not having the strength to pull back from her.

"Jill lives with me now Matt," Silverman said quietly. "We have kept it a secret at work, just simply because we weren't ready to share the news of our engagement yet."

Matt looked over at Silverman wide-eyed. "I...I had not idea. Umm...congratulations."

"Thank you. Now, drink this," Silverman said pouring out a glass of good stout scotch and handing it to Matt before pouring one for himself. Jill had finally released him but she still sat sniffling at his side. "First off I need to know if there is any crime you know of that this fellow...Sin did you call him?...that this fellow may have committed that they could actually get him for."

"I ...I don't know of any," Matt said, reeling. He didn't know what he had expected from Mr. Silverman but surely not this calm acceptance.

"Good, good, then there really should be no worries there. Now, I hope your friends Estaban and Drift realize the building they are in is probably being watched at this time and if the boy steps outside he will be caught and given over to his parents."

Matt stared at him in horror. He hadn't thought of that. Had Esty?, he wondered. "Maybe I should call them and tell them that," Matt said weakly.

Silverman picked up a phone and handed it to Matt. "Do it now."

Matt quickly placed the call and Estaban assured him that he had no intentions of letting Drift near the door, and no, he had not heard from Sin as of yet. Matt hung up the phone feeling way out of his element.

"The two things we have to concentrate on now are these," Silverman held up one finger, then another as he spoke, "getting your friend Sin out of the police station and getting the boy Drift out of that building unseen."

"Sir, I don't understand. Why...why would you help us?" Matt stuttered.

"You came here for help didn't you Darvins?"

"Ye...yes sir," Matt agreed doubtfully. He wasn't really sure what he had expected. Nothing really after he had let the whole truth slip from his lips.

"You've worked hard for me Darvins, and I've always trusted you. Some of the others that I have hired in the past, and honestly some of the ones working for me now, are nothing but smart ass little pieces of shit. They work for themselves Darvins. No loyalty, no ties. I've always trusted you and now I know I will always be able to. I'm not saying that I would ever blackmail you Matt, I wouldn't, but you just admitted to murdering a man. You admitted it right to my face. That bonds you to me. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Matt nodded thoughtfully.

"Good, good, I'm glad you are following along. You tell me now that you will never waver in your loyalty to me and I'll help you through this."

"I wouldn't ever waver sir, even before this."

"Good lad then." Silverman stood and took Jill a handkerchief from his pocket. She blew her nose noisily.

"I knew something was troubling you Matt, I just knew it," she said and blew her nose again.

Matt felt like he had dropped into some strange dream, Alice down the rabbit hole. He quickly knocked back the rest of the contents of his glass and savored the warm burn that filled him in its wake.

"Been a while since I've had a good project," Silverman said rubbing his hands together. "Right, Matt you and I are off to the police station. Jill you get the kid out of that building. Do it the old fashioned way, dress him up like a girl."

Matt sputtered and shook his head. "He's bald and covered in tattoos sir!"

Silverman stopped in mid step and frowned. "That could be problem."

Jill sopped up the tear trails off her face and stood. "I can handle it," she said firmly. "I have a wig, and some ladies business suites, it should cover him well enough. Just leave it to me."

Matt wasn't sure what he had expected to get from this visit but to find Silverman and Jill taking total control of the situation certainly was something that never would have entered his mind. Silverman handed him the phone and told him to call Estaban back and explain the plan. Estaban would leave later alone and they would all meet back at Silverman's house. From there they would plan the next step in keeping Drift out the grip of his parents.

Matt hung up the phone after a long and plaintive persuading of Estaban who was not at all sure he could trust Silverman but in the end relented with threats of death if anything went wrong. Matt looked up at his boss.

"Why are you doing this? What's in it for you? You know I have committed murder, that we are aiding and abetting a runaway teenager who is in a sexual relationship with a man much older than him. You can't tell me you approve of all this." Matt stared hard at Silverman's face, searching.

"Who am I to judge?" Silverman asked casually. "You shot down a murderer, I don't know why you would think I would not approve of that, saves the tax payers money and gets scum off the street. As to the boy, if he seems as happy and well adjusted with this Estaban as you say and as terrified of his parents as he claims, then again how can I not approve of keeping him where he wants to be? I myself was on my own at his age. As for any other objections well, you know I am not a religious man Darvins. I never have been. As to what I get out of it, well, that is yet to be seen. Now, we need to get down to the police station." Silverman called to Jill that they were leaving and steered Matt out the door to his large silver sedan. Matt sat mutely on the drive, wondering if he need fear what payment Silverman may eventually ask for.

Matt remained in the car on Silverman's orders as the older man entered the police station and returned not fifteen minutes later with a very angry and nearly violent Sin in tow. Sin said nothing as he folded his long length into the back seat and Matt swiveled to look at him.

"Fucking cops," Sin hissed. "They tried to make me think that Trish was possibly pregnant, they insinuated all kinds of motives that I may have wanted her killed for, they tried to pin it on me!"

"Was she pregnant?" Matt gasped, his heart standing still in his chest.

"What? No! Of course she wasn't! Lies, all of it! My god Matt! You can't imagine the things they tried to get me to believe!" Sin's eyes blazed and Matt swallowed as he turned away, facing forward once more. Silverman slipped into the driver's seat and drove them back to his place in silence. The house was empty, Jill had not yet returned, and Sin paced across the rug like a panther in a cage while Silverman went to his study to make some calls. "I don't understand any of this!" Sin snarled. "Why have you involved these people Matt? Why are they even helping us?"

"I don't know Sin. I just don't know...I needed to turn somewhere. I felt you needed a lawyer and Silverman is the only one I know and trust."

Sin glared at him a moment then nodded absently. Silverman returned from his study and looked at them grimly. "Jill says she thinks someone is following them. They're on the interstate now, trying to shake them. I told her not to come here, to go straight out to my hunting cabin. It's a long drive, out in the foothills. Estaban has already left and is going to meet them there."

"You expect us to believe that shit?" Sin demanded viciously, turning on Silverman as if he might kill him with his bare hands.

Silverman stood calmly and pointed to the open door of his office. "The phone is in there son, go call your friend Estaban on his cell phone and check for yourself."

Sin went. When he returned he looked calmer. "Esty says that it's all covered."

"See? Now, you two should return to Matt's apartment. They'll be watching to see if the kid shows up there. You should just go about your regular routine."

"For how long?" Matt demanded. "How long do you expect to keep Drift and Estaban in hiding?"

Silverman shrugged. "Until the boy turns seventeen next month or until the two of you take out Senator McKenna I suppose."

Matt stared at Silverman, wondering just who the hell man was to stand there calmly and spit out words about killing a Senator. The word Senator suddenly shocked through Matt's brain like an electrical volt. "Whoa, whoa, whoa...Senator...did you say Senator McKenna? No one ever mentioned that McKenna was a Senator!" Matt reeled back, bumping into a small table and nearly overturning a vase perched there. Sin reached out and steadied it before it fell.

"Does that make a difference to you Matt?" Sin demanded, his steely grey eyes boring into Matt's soul.

"It makes a difference on how hard it will be to pin the bastard down! Yes. It definitely ups the stakes a bit, don't you think?" Matt could feel the paleness of his own flesh, as if his skin were drained and stretched.

"So what, you want to give up now?"

Matt shook his head but he still felt weak in the knees. "Hell no. We'll kill the bastard. I just...I just wish I had known all along that we were dealing with a Senator."

"The asshole deserves no title." Sin turned on his heel and drilled Silverman with his cold eyes. "Is this a trap? Because I am tired of being led around, pushed around and baited."

Silverman snorted. "We've been given quite a lot of information on the good Senator by Matt. He hasn't presented us with stone cold proof but Matt's word holds a lot of significance with me and I believe everything he told me. I also remember quite a few rumors going around in the papers about the man being corrupt but they were never able to pin him down. There was talk of a rape swept under the rug too. Justice is too often slow and ineffectual. Do what you have to do to stop him. You think that because I'm a lawyer I will be quick to turn to the law but you are wrong. As a lawyer I know and have seen how many times the law has been turned into a joke. I'm seen child molesters go free while the parents end up in jail for not being able to protect the child from the molester to start with. I've seen murderers walk while some poor kid caught with a joint in his pocket does seven years. That's why I quit criminal law and went into business law. Sometimes the best way to find true justice is to just go ahead and do it yourself. I wish I had had your kind of balls when my first wife was murdered. Her killer walked free, got off on a technicality. It was drugs that finally killed him. He died high and happy, the worthless fuck, while I just sat around and cried over my law books. No, if I wanted to turn either of you in I would have taken the opportunity while we were still at the police station."

Sin stared at Silverman a moment longer before nodding his head, one quick, decisive jerk. "Right. I'm tired. Let's go home Matt. Call us a cab."

"No need. I'll drive you home," Silverman said as he dug his keys from his pocket.

* * * *

Back at the apartment at last Sin headed straight for the liquor and Matt made a careful inspection of each room to check for signs that anyone had been there. Everything was as it should be. Matt was standing in the bedroom checking one of the guns when Sin came in with a glass in each hand. Matt took one from him and downed it.

"It's been a hell of a day Sin. I can't believe it's so late already!" Matt nodded toward the clock, the numbers showing 10:30 pm.

"Yes it's been a shitty day indeed. I'm tense as hell. I need a good fuck. Good thing is I got my own little piece of convenient ass right there." Sin reached around and gave Matt's buttock a hearty squeeze. Matt glared at him.

"You can't be serious!"

Sin set his glass down and seized Matt's head in his hands, holding him still and putting his face very close to Matt's. His breath smelled heavily of whiskey as he spoke. "Get your clothes off and get into bed."

"I intend to Sin, but I'm going to sleep. I'm exhausted." Matt pulled away and turned his back quickly to Sin. As always his dick had responded to Sin's touch and was stirring, waking up very quickly indeed. Sin didn't say anything, just turned and headed back toward the bathroom. By the time he returned Matt had stripped down to his underwear and was between the sheets, eyes closed. Matt could hear Sin undressing but refused to open his eyes. He felt Sin slide into the bed beside him but he had left the overhead light on.

"You forgot to turn off the light," Matt grumbled and threw off the sheet as he started to rise. Sin grabbed him and pushed him back down, grinning.

"I didn't forget. I want to see you Matt, watch you while you writhe."

Matt sighed as if exasperated. In a way he was. He was tired and emotionally drained but his cock had been in a state of frustration for an eternity and now stood at full attention. Matt supposed he wouldn't mind a quickie but he didn't think that was what Sin had in mind. As if reading his mind Sin tangled a hand in Matt's hair and pulled his head back.

"I want to fuck you Matt, long and hard. And you will let me or I'll hurt you. You know I will."

Matt laughed out loud thinking that Sin was just joking but then stilled at the intent gleam in Sin's eyes. "I'm not up for a fight tonight Sin. Really, I just can't cope. It's too much."

Sin shifted, released the hair and grasped Matt's shoulders instead, pressing him down harder on the bed, then slid his long heavy frame over the length of Matt's body. "I don't want to fight tonight either. But I want you. I want to fuck, not just get a release, but get high on your fear, get a thrill from your pain. I want to bury myself in your tight ass as deep as I can."

Matt stared up at him. This was something that he had not practiced with Estaban, had not let Estaban go there. He'd only been fucked in the ass once, and then the pain in his arm, his ribs, and his head from the beating Sin had given him had blended in with the pain of Sin's cock entering him forcefully. Matt remembered how he felt the most exquisite agony of his life rocket through him before he came but he had no desire to experience such agony tonight. "I don't think I can Sin."

"You can and you will let me fuck you Matt," Sin said then kissed him softly first on the mouth, then once upon each eyelid. "I made you bend your head to me in humility and tonight I will remind you that I do own you, regardless of how much you balk, I do own you."

Matt started to respond, to argue, but again Sin kissed him, deeply this time, his tongue hot and forceful in Matt's mouth. Matt groaned and rocked his hips, his cock battling with Sin's, caught and crushed between their bodies. Sin pulled Matt's head back and nibbled his neck, his chest, bit gently over a nipple and moved down. He pulled Matt's underwear away and took Matt's cock full into his mouth in one movement as if intending to devour it in one gulp.

"Sinful!" Matt hissed between his teeth but smiling. He could feel Sin's responding chuckle deep in his balls and Matt arched hard on the bed, beginning to pant. Suddenly Sin stopped and slide away from Matt entirely, standing by the side of the bed to look down at him. Without a word and with silent daring in his steel gray eyes Sin reached out and grabbed Matt's ankle and tugged him sharply to the edge of the bed. Matt started to sit up but Sin pushed him back down. Slowly he pushed Matt's foot up, bending his knee.

"No way!" Matt balked, only just realizing what Sin wanted.

"Bend your knees for me Matt. I want to look in your face while I fuck you."

"No, damnit, I'd feel ridiculous in that position. way," Matt could feel his hard on beginning to fade very quickly as he realized that Sin was intent on this and had been dead serious in all he had said.

"Is that what you said to Estaban when he fucked you like that?" Sin asked, a dangerous but testing note in his voice.

"Estaban never fucked me, in any position," Matt snarled and flipped over to crawl to the other side of the bed. Sin enjoyed the show but let him go. Slowly he walked around to him, both standing now, Sin's cock hard and standing at attention, Matt's only half cocked and wilting.

"Please Matt," Sin said quietly as he reached out and stroked Matt's dick. "Just try it."

Matt felt himself wavering just a little. How many times he wondered, would he ever hear Sin use the word please? And it had been a horrible couple of days. Sin needed to pampered at least a little right? Sin leaned in and began nibbling at his neck again, all the while stroking his cock with one hand and caressing Matt's buttock with the other. Matt shuddered.

"No way," Matt finally said again, his fear over-riding his pity. Sin pushed him suddenly, hard enough to topple him back onto the bed. Matt sprawled out over the bed but immediately scrambled for the other side. Sin though simply turned and walked away toward the bathroom, not giving Matt another glance. Stupefied Matt watched him go. He was nearly to the door when Matt suddenly relented. "I'll try it but if I say stop you have to agree to fucking stop!"

Sin turned slowly on his heel, his grin evil. "I agree," he said in a tone that made a mockery of Matt's request. He sauntered back up to Matt and shoved him lightly against the wall, his knee thrust between Matt's legs and pressed upward, nearly painfully against Matt's balls. Matt sucked in a deep breath as Sin leaned in harder. "I do love it when you give in Matt," Sin whispered and then suddenly turned away again and left Matt standing there, leaning against the wall by necessity; his legs suddenly feeling weak and rubbery.

Sin had gone to the bedside table and used a tube of lubricant to slick up his cock up so that it now glistened in the light from the window. He crooked a finger at Matt and Matt obeyed, slowly, reluctantly, regretfully. With a sense of building dread Matt sat down on the edge of the bed. Sin pushed him back but immediately he went down on Matt again, sucking and squeezing Matt's limp dick until it lengthened again, kept going until it was hard and Matt's pulse raced through the blue veins under Sin's lips. This time he kept a hand on Matt's cock when he stood, still rubbing. With his free hand he urged Matt to bend one knee, and waited patiently until Matt brought the other up on his own accord. Matt looked frightened and not a little embarrassed. Sin smiled as he looked down between their bodies, could feel his own balls tightening in anticipation. He pressed the head of his dick against Matt's tight hole and just held it there, his eyes going up to meet Matt's once more. "Relax kid," Sin said softly but Matt's dick was wilting again and Matt's eyes were too wary. Sin sighed and backed up so Matt could lower his legs easily. Matt looked relieved but there were questions there too.

"Oh, I'm still going to fuck you, just not like that. You aren't ready." Sin crawled up into the bed and leaned against the headboard. "Straddle me," he demanded.

"What? You mean like a girl?"

"Come on Matt, that way you can take it at your own pace. Come on, get on top on spread those sweet cheeks."

Matt let his eyes run over Sin's body, long, lean, powerful. As always he liked what he saw. Sin was everything harsh, male, virile, dark, and in many ways evil. Still Matt felt some trepidation over Sin's request. Finally though he pulled himself up and threw one of his long legs over Sin's lap and straddled him, cock to cock.

"Come on Matt, quit being such a timid little pussy," Sin teased him, his steel gray eyes laughing. "Squat over me, spread those cheeks, then lower yourself, just as much as you can take."

Matt shook his head, wondering how in the hell Sin had talked him into trying this shit. Finally he did as Sin said, pulling his feet up on either side of Sin's hips to squat over him. It felt awkward and ridiculous. He should have known it was a trick. By now he should have known.

But he hadn't, and when Sin suddenly lunged forward and toppled him onto his back Matt was totally taken unawares. Sin's strong hands were wrapped around his ankles, pushing his legs up and back, knees bent, butt exposed. And Sin, being Sin, didn't hesitate to stab that slick throbbing dick straight into Matt's ass. The pain was beyond exquisite, beyond horror, beyond reason. Matt felt the searing burn very deep inside his bowels, felt full beyond belief. He was only dimly aware of the ragged shout that had escaped his throat, mournful, agonized, desperate. The first time Sin had done this to him Matt had already been encased in a shell of agony, beyond being able to acknowledge more, but this time there was only this, this torturous burning fulfillment, and Sin's eyes boring down into his in triumph.

"Don't you know by now Matt that I lie? Did you really think I'd let you change your mind?" Sin's voice was harsh, his eyes full of fire and dominance, the muscles in his arms and shoulders standing out in cords as he fought Matt's uncontrollable urge to lower his legs and escape, to writhe and wriggle away. Without breaking eye contact Sin pulled back a little and plunged back in. Matt felt ashamed of the whimper that escaped him, of the new level of satisfaction rising in Sin's eyes. Matt's fingers dug up great fistfuls off sheets and blankets as Sin once again moved inside him, hurting him, fulfilling him. Matt closed his eyes, his body shuddering in a strange muscle spasm of shock and ecstasy. Sin began to move, to set a slow stroking rhythm , Matt's hands fisted now in the bed linens, his dick harder than he had ever felt it before, as though the skin would split so that it could continue to grow. Sin's thrusting became harder and Matt's eyes sprang open over a new wave of pain, a new wave of nauseating lust, and he stared up at Sin to find that Sin's eyes were now closed, his head tilted back, black strands of hair cascading around him, tendons standing out firm in his neck, jaw tight with clenched teeth. Agonized ecstasy. Matt groaned and gave in to the pleasure of the pain, his eyes closing again, Sin now beginning to pound into him, Matt's body sliding across the bed a little with each thrust, Sin pursuing, deeper, harder. Matt was dimly aware that he was moaning uncontrollably now, a sound escaping him, "ung, ung, ung," with each agonizing spearing of that seemingly endless marble shaft pounding into his ass. He felt his head tipping back, Sin had pounded him clear to the edge of the bed but Matt was powerless to do a thing about it. His thigh muscles were bunching in cramps now, under extreme duress from Sin's strong grip pushing his ankles back against his thighs. The sheets had pulled from the corners of the bed and were locked in the death grip of Matt's fists. Suddenly Matt's cock exploded, cum spewing up onto his belly, his chest, pulsing and pulsing while Sin slammed into him and Matt's head dangled back over the edge of the bed. Matt was sure he could take no more, that surely Sin would rupture something deep within him, but Sin would not relent, despite the quiet pleas of "please, oh god, please," that slipped out of Matt's mouth. Suddenly Sin let out a guttural call of his own, his dick expanding larger in Matt's ass, spitting and spraying hot cum inside him, too much, everything too much. Sin pounded into to Matt one last time, with such force that Matt suddenly toppled over the side of the bed, tumbling off into space but finally, finally free, Sin's dick wrenched from within him as he fell, free.

Matt had no recollection of hitting the floor but he was there. Sobbing, entangled in sheets, clawing at the carpet and writhing. It wasn't so much the pain that left him destroyed, the pain had been mild, the pleasure beyond measure. No, it was the intense emotions that bubbled like madness inside him, pure ecstasy, humiliation, the knowledge that he was and might always be nothing more than a willing slave to Sin's lust. He was owned, nothing more than property, and there was nothing he could, or even would, try to do about it. His litany of "please, please," still spilled from his lips, unknown to him, his leg muscles shaking and burning like boiling water.

Matt was unaware of Sin above him, still on his knees on the edge of the bed, gazing down at Matt's wretched attempts to crawl across the carpet, Sin smiling like the devil himself. If Matt had known what affect that watching him grovel in his emotional agony had on Sin Matt would have lain as still as the dead. Sin eyes devoured the scene. Watching the muscles bunch and ripple in Matt's shoulders as he tried to push himself up, fall back down and try again, served only to heighten Sin's feeling of complete domination. This scene would not be as powerful had Matt been a smaller man, a weaker man, a feminine man. No, the power of the scene lay in Matt's broad, powerful shoulders shaking with sobs, his muscled thighs quivering like jelly, his lightly furred butt cheeks clenching and clenching. It was all Sin could do not to drop to the floor, haul Matt up to his hands and knees and fuck him like a dog. Too much, Sin had to admit to himself, it would be too much for the kid to bear. Finally Sin took pity on Matt and stepped down from the bed, lowered his body behind Matt and pulled him against him, cradling him on the floor, holding him while he sobbed.

"Easy kid," Sin muttered in Matt's ear. "It will pass." Matt curled in on himself, away from Sin's embrace and Sin let him go but stayed on the floor with him, watching as Matt tucked his forehead against his knees, his body still wracked with shuttering sobs. After a long while Sin pulled Matt up, forced him to his feet and turned him toward the bathroom. "Shower and come back to bed" Sin said sternly and Matt turned to obey silently, head down, shoulders down. He didn't protest when Sin stepped into the shower with him but Sin didn't touch him, just lathered himself, rinsed and stepped out. Matt followed in a daze and stood like a zombie while Sin gathered the scattered sheets and made the bed.

"Get in," Sin ordered him and Matt did. Sin turned off the light and slipped under the sheets beside Matt, pulling him close. Matt squeezed his eyes shut but rested his head on Sin's shoulder, his hand lay limply across Sin's stomach. His mind churned. Unanswerable questions pounding at his brain. Was this what he really was? A man so eager and willing to let himself be used and abused, humiliated and belittled just for the rush of fantastic orgasm? Or were the reasons deeper than lust alone? Matt suspected the reasons were very much deeper. His heart was still pounding painfully against his ribs. His stomach felt queasy and bottomless. His dick lay limp against his own thigh but still he could feel each pulse of his heart in the veins there. The sudden thought entered his head that he should get up, get dressed and leave, never to look back, never to return. Just get up and go. Go to his parent's house, a cousin, anyone who would take him in and shelter him. As soon as the thought came to him though his heart skipped madly and he was besieged with terrible anxiety. The panic attack was so severe that a moan escaped him and his entire body tensed. Sin's arm came around him and snuggled him even closer to his side.

"Be still," Sin hissed softly, his voice velvety and comforting in Matt's ear. Matt relaxed into the embrace and sighed. "Now tell me you love me Matt, because you know you do." Sin said into the darkness, his breath stirring Matt's hair ever so slightly. Matt tensed again, feeling raw and vulnerable, terrified. Sin's grasp was suddenly tight and painful, punishing. Matt didn't fight it.

"Say it Matt," Sin growled.

"I love you Sin," he whispered the words so softly that Matt could barely hear them himself.

Sin released him from the crushing grip but Matt was mortified to feel Sin's chest vibrate with deep chuckles. "Then you are a bigger fool than I thought you were kid. A real raving idiot." Sin's chuckle grew to laughter. "Goddamn but you sound like a girl! You're as moody as one too. Now go to sleep."

Matt was still awake and staring blankly into darkness long after Sin's breathing had turned steady and heavy with sleep.

© 2006