Date: Sat, 10 Jun 2000 12:30:35 -0700 (PDT) From: Bill Subject: Joey and Bill - Dueling Journals Joey and Bill: Dueling Journals NOTE: This is the third part of the story of Joey and Bill. Readers on ASSGM may be a bit confused by the different titles, but readers on Nifty Archive will note that it is part of the renamed folder entitled "Joey and Bill". As I noted in the previous part ("Joey's Journal"), I have created a site containing pictures of boys who resemble the images I had in mind when I wrote my stories. Often, they resemble real boys who were my contemporaries long years ago. The site is http://photos.yahoo.com/bil47photo You'll see that I have now added a number of miscellaneous pictures as well. (All pictures are tame and 100% legal, but all are of boys who are quite cute and/or beautiful.) If you wish to find my older stories, they are on Nifty's "prolific net author" link - http://www.nifty.org/nifty/authors.html under "Bill". On ASSGM, do an author search for "bil47". As always, I very much appreciate feedback and constructive criticism on stories... and I guess on my selection of pictures to. (For instance, it would be fun to hear if you had a vastly different image of a particular character.) And now, back to the story. BILL' JOURNAL, Sunday morning, September 10, 1966 Damn! I'll never get Joey out of my mind... or my heart! I actually cried last night, feeling incredibly sorry for myself. (I'm such a fucking wimp!) Joey had one his school friends over yesterday, and he spent the night at Joey's house. As I lay in bed last night with my hard cock in my hand, I had all these thoughts of Joey floating in my brain... the feelings of love... of lust... of loneliness... of jealousy for that cute kid with short hair who was spending the night... it all just welled up inside me. The tears started flowing down my cheeks even as I was jacking myself off! I felt the sorrow like an aching pain in my chest. Is this what they mean when they talk about a "broken heart"? It sure felt like it! It's better this morning, even though I was just watching Joey and the short-haired kid out my bedroom window. God! They look cute together! The way they discretely touched each other on the arm or shoulder, and smiled at each other as they talked... I'd bet anything they had sex together last night. I want to talk to Joey so bad, to have him smile at me again, to touch him, and (yes, I admit) to suck his perfect boy-cock. I've made my dick sore this past week jacking off time-after-time to thoughts of the only person I've ever loved. But now my mind also keeps going back to what I told Joey the day-before-yesterday, when I finally got up the nerve to talk to him after that fiasco of the week before. I told him, essentially, that I'd be his slut anytime he wanted... and he maneuvered me into saying I'd do the same for his two friends! When I got home, all I could think about was the prospect of having sex with all three of them at once - Joey, the short-haired kid (who I think is named Mike), and the bigger kid with shaggy brown hair (who I'm pretty sure is Justin). The more I thought about it, the more turned on I got. It fit perfectly with those fantasies that used to fill my jack-off sessions... at least until Joey came into my life. The fantasies had usually featured boys in my class at school or older high school boys... the handsome jocks who don't even know that nerds like me exist. I would imagine a group of them - like members of the football team wearing just jockstraps - pulling me into the their locker room and stripping me nude and making me satisfy their lust. And I would be forced to kneel on the floor before one of them, to pull down his sweaty jock, and suck him off as he thrust his big teenage cock into my mouth. And maybe some of them would gang-fuck my ass while I was blowing their team mates. Shit! The thoughts of that kind of action produced an incredibly powerful cum every time! But since that glorious moment last month when I first taught Joey about sex... when the spiritual love I was feeling for my 12-year-old neighbor suddenly became a physical, sexual, orgasmic love... ever since that moment, the kinkier fantasies had been driven out of my brain. All I thought about was Joey - his innocence, his perfect beauty, his sexual inquisitiveness. And I didn't jack off by myself all that week... all of my cums were saved for when Joey and I were together. Then last week, after I had driven Joey away by my blind lust... my stupid failure to realize the pain I was inflicting on him as I fucked his virgin ass.... Last week, I still thought only of Joey. I wonder if Joey will tell his friends. I wonder if they'll be interested. All I know is that if they want me, I'll do anything they ask. I would love to have Joey - all by himself - back in my arms. But I would be lying if I denied my raw sexual excitement for the prospect of having sex with all three at once. JOEY'S JOURNAL, Sunday night September 10, 1966 I like being with Mike SO MUCH!! We spent the whole afternoon together, but he had to go at dinnertime because it's a school night. But as I sit here at my desk, all I have to do is close my eyes and I can see his face, and it gives me a really warm feeling inside. He asked me if we could be best friends, and of course I said YES!! He had also said those magic words - "Best Friends" - last night as we lay together in my bed, right after we had that incredible suck-session. (We were just doing some experimenting. It doesn't mean we're queer or anything; Mike even read that it was normal, in a library book that he told me about.) Anyhow, he said it last night, but I wasn't sure he really meant it. When he rode his bike over after church today, we went on a hike to the abandoned farm out by Goat Hill. The barn is in pretty good shape still, even though the farmhouse that used to be there is burned down. They even left some stuff in there, like ropes and old leather strap things with buckles. I'm guessing they used to have mules to pull a plow. It's pretty strange when you drive around some of the areas farther out in the country, to see farmers using a mule instead of a tractor. Dad says maybe the farmers are so poor, they can't afford a tractor. Of course, in our neighborhood all these new houses are going up and there are hardly any real farms that actually grow stuff anymore. I showed Mike the hay loft, and he thought it was cool. The hay is all pretty old and disintegrating, but it's dry because there's a solid tin roof on the barn. We started throwing the hay all around and then got in a hay-fight, stuffing it down each other's shirt and wrestling in it and laughing. Then I stuffed some in the back of Mike's pants! And even though he was laughing really hard, he got a big handful and stuffed it in the front of MY pants. We called a truce, standing there with our hands on our knees, out of breath but happy. "God, I'm itchy!" I said, and unbuttoned my shirt to shake it out. "Me too," he replied; "guess we gotta take off our clothes to get this stuff out of them!" He had this big grin on his face, and I knew exactly what he had on his mind. "Excellent idea!" I said, and started pulling off my shoes and sox and pants. I kept my eyes on Mike, though, and he was looking at my body too. When we were standing there in just our underpants, my heart was beating even faster than when we had finished the hay-fight. Grinning at each other like idiots, we both hooked our thumbs under the waistbands of our identical white brief and slowly pulled down. My penis was already a total bone! It had been since we started stripping. Mike's was half-hard, sticking straight out, the foreskin completely covering his cockhead, not even allowing his piss slit to show. Without saying a word, I knelt at Mike's feet, picked up a piece of straw, and ran it slowly, softly over the shaft of his penis. He giggled and his penis gave a little jump. I ran the straw all along his dick and ballsack, and his penis began to raise itself into a boner, a little bit at a time, jacking itself up with each beat of his heart. In just a few moments, Mike's cock was pointing straight up and half of his cockhead protruded from the turtleneck of its foreskin. I reached out my hand and felt a rush of warmth flow through my body as my fingertips touched Mike's 4 1/2" boner. The first thing I did was to pull down the skin to expose all of his slender reddish cockhead. When I let go, the foreskin stayed below the ridge, and I savored the way it looked, especially with the wisps of blond hair growing at its base. I think it is the nicest looking boner I've ever seen! (And I just figured out that I've seen 7, not counting my own... 9 if you include the twins at the beach that time - I felt up both of them underwater, but couldn't really see what they looked like.) "You have a really neat boner," I said, looking up at him. Then my tongue darted out and flicked against his cockhead. I couldn't resist! I moved the foreskin back up and licked it, rolled it gently between my lips, explored this wonderful "addition" to what had only recently become my favorite body part. I was sucking off just his foreskin... well, I guess I was licking his cockhead a bunch too... and it was SO cool! "Oh God! Stop for a minute! That's about to make me cum and I want to last a while longer," he moaned as he pulled me to my feet and immediately wrapped his hand around my boner. We stood there, feeling each other, jacking each other, smiling at each other. We each had our right hand on the other's boner and our left on his shoulder. Man, it felt good. It was like when we were sucking each other last night, except I could see Mike's face... see the look of pleasure... know that I was making him feel as good as he was making me feel. "Oh, Joey," panted Mike; "let me suck you... ok?" "Yes, Mike! Do it!" I sighed. In an instant he was on his knees and I felt his hot breath on my most sensitive skin. All I could see was the top of his head, but the memory of what I could feel at that moment... it makes me shiver with pleasure as I write these words. His hand lightly touching my ballsack, his wet lips kissing the top of my boner... his lips parting slightly... his tongue gently exploring the piss slit... his warm mouth surrounding my cockhead as his tongue swirled around.... Oh, MAN! It was SO good. My hands just automatically came rest on his head and my fingers caressed his soft short dark-blond hair. I know I was saying stuff to Mike about how good it was, but I couldn't tell you what I said. I was in another world! A world that... I really can't put it in words... that was totally composed of fantastic sexy feelings. Mike's head bobbed up and down, his lips going all the way down to the base of my penis, his hand squeezing my ballsack gently. I knew I was close. I was going to cum, and I wanted it so bad. Mike's lips and tongue were moving up and down the shaft of my boner, again and again, and I thought I would burst! And then I did! All the good feelings were focused into my cock and it exploded with pleasure, and I had the most incredible cum! Mike's mouth was locked onto my boner and after last of the big surges of pleasure died down, I felt every movement of his lips or tongue like it was an electric shock... REALLY intense... finally TOO intense, and I pulled my penis out of his mouth. Now it was my turn to lift him up off his knees, and I did something without thinking about it. I hugged him! I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him so tight he was probably suffocating. By the time it occurred to me that he might not like me doing this, I realized that he had his arms just as tight around my back. It felt so wonderful! His hands were moving along my back and shoulders, even down to my rear end, and his chest was tight against mine, and his stiff boner was pressing against my belly! And Mike was pushing his hips against me so his boner was sliding against my sweaty skin. It felt so good to hug him! We changed our arms a little so we each had one arm over the other's shoulder and one around the back. My face was right against his and I could feel his urgent warm breath against my neck. The stiffness of his penis throbbed against me. I could feel his heart beating against my chest! "Do you want me to..." I was going to ask if I could suck him, but didn't even get the words out. "Just like this... I'm almost there... just a little more..." he gasped, and I realized he was about to cum, rubbing his cock against my belly. I felt so... (Oh God; this is going to sound queer!) I felt so loving toward Mike; my heart was filled with happiness and friendship, and I hugged him tighter than ever. I felt his body get tense and his breathing stop... then the sounds of his gasps of pleasure and a sudden wet warmth against my belly. And even though I wasn't even hard, I felt a sexy feeling all through my body... like I was feeling some of what Mike was experiencing! "Oh, Joey... Joey, I... That was SO good!" whispered Mike, in excited out-of-breathness next to my ear. I'm not sure how long we held each other like that, up in the loft of the old barn, naked as new-born babies, on this beautiful warm September afternoon. I guess only another minute or so. But we held each other tight. And didn't talk. Everything in my head would have sounded too queer coming out of my mouth, and maybe Mike felt the same way. I even thought for a second that I wanted to kiss him, but of course I didn't. It would have ruined everything. As we let go of each other, I touched the sticky wetness just below my belly-button... ran my fingers across it, and brought my fingers to my mouth. There was the same salty-sweet taste from last night. I smiled at Mike as he watched me do it. Then Mike used his fingertips to wipe a blob of it off my hip and brought his hand up to his mouth, sucking his cum fluid from his fingers. We both smiled without saying anything, but it seemed to me like it was one of those Indian "blood-brother" things. As we walked home, the sun was getting low in the sky, and a great weekend was almost over. Mike stopped for a moment and looked at me. "Joe.... Can we be best friends?" "But Mike," I said with a smile, "we already are!" And as we started walking again I put my arm around his shoulder, and he put his around mine, and I don't think I've ever felt happier in my whole life! Darn. Mom just told me it's time to go to bed. BILL'S JOURNAL, Monday morning, September 11, 1966 Not much time to write before I have to go to school, but I want to get this down before I forget it. Christ! That dream I had was so incredibly erotic! I know dreams are SUPPOSED to be weird, but this one takes the cake. I don't remember it all, but in the beginning of the dream, I'm standing in front of my English class giving a speech. (You know how you sometimes dream of things you're worried about? Well, I still haven't figured out my topic for the public speaking assignment next week.) Anyway, in my dream I'm speaking about... get this!... homosexuality! (But after all that research I did at the University library, trying to understand what it would mean to be a homosexual, I guess I actually COULD give a speech about it... Yeah, SURE!!) So I'm talking about all the famous artists and writers throughout history who were homosexuals, and their pictures are flashing up on this screen beside me. But I was getting heckled by my classmates: "Fag!" "Fairy!" "Homo!" And then I'm talking about how the ancient Greeks - the originators of our civilization - believed that the spiritual and sexual love for a barely pubescent boy was the highest form of human expression. But instead of a slide picture, there was Joey standing beside me, naked except for a laurel wreath in his golden hair, posing like a statue. And as I talked about the Greeks and boy love, I'm running my hands over Joey's body, especially his beautiful erection. And the voices from the class grew louder: "Faggot!" "Queer!" "Pervert!" If only I could have directed the "plot" of my dream, I would have kicked out all the stupid 10th graders, dropped the "speech" bullshit, and had Joey all to myself. But dreams have a direction all their own. I started speaking to the class about the Roman emperors... about the boy-harem that Tiberius kept on the Island of Capri... of Hardian's love for the beautiful Greek boy Antinous... And also of Elagabalus, (Rome's "queer-est" emperor) who became emperor at age 14 and ruled until he was assassinated at age 18; whose palace staff consisted not only of sexy boys but also virile soldiers who were chosen primarily for their extraordinary endowment; who had part of his palace decorated to resemble a brothel, at the door of which Elagabalus would stand and pretend he was a whore soliciting business from "cutomers" (and the customers always consisted of a squad of burley palace guards whose job it was to fuck the emperor's ass until he was satisfied. And as I'm talking, I look down and see that... I'm naked... and my cock is hard and throbbing. An then all of a sudden there are Joey's two friends, Mike and Justin, dressed as Roman soldiers, except their cocks were fully exposed. And (naturally, I guess) their erections were huge! And then Joey is lying naked on the teacher's desk, and I'm leaning over him, sucking his cock, and I raise my ass up like a bitch dog in heat to be fucked by the "roman soldiers". Everyone in the classroom is laughing and mocking me, but my humiliation is overridden by intense lust. And I moan as Justin stands behind me and spreads my ass cheeks apart. And his thick erection glides into my body as if my asshole were the hot, wet pussy of a slutty 18-year-old cheerleader. Ah, only in a dream! There is none of the initial discomfort, just total erotic bliss. Even as he pounds his cock into me and slaps my ass hard with his hand. "Fuck me! Fuck me hard!" I'm pleading, even as I suck off Joey's perfect cock. And then the scene transformed from my high school classroom to the shower room in the gym at my old middle school. I'm surrounded by naked, wet boys, just as I remembered from those years... boys at all stages of development, from totally immature 6th graders to hairy 8th graders. Only, in my dream, they were all hard and they were all surrounding me and jacking themselves. When I look down at myself, I'm pre-pubescent, hairless... but my penis is achingly erect. (I think my brain had dredged up the image of myself from the time - at age 12, I think - that I basically "discovered" my erection, admired it in a full-length mirror, toyed with it, and experienced the first hints of the secret feelings my fingers could produce. It would be another year before I learned how to masturbate, but it was the first step of discovering sexuality.) I was overwhelmed by the array of erect boy-dicks around me... there for me to touch... to suck... to gaze at with lust. It was all flashing before me like a kaleidoscope... on my knees in the shower room, surveying a sea of hard penises being stroked by their young owners. And then the boys started cumming... shooting into my face, my open mouth, all over me. Even the little 6th grade boys were shooting spurt-after-spurt of cum, and I was in ecstacy. Then I was awake! The sky was just beginning to lighten with pre-dawn. I was sweating and breathing heavily, and both my hands were inside my undershorts, holding my hard cock So of course I HAD to jack it off, lasting as long as I could, rerunning to the best of my ability the whole scenario of the dream. God! I truly AM a cocksucking faggot boylover! Well that's it for now. Time for breakfast and - UGH! - school. JOEY'S JOURNAL, Monday night, September 11, 1966 I rode my bike to school today instead of taking the bus, and Mike asked if I could go to his house after school let out. I called Mom from the ice cream shop, and she said OK. It was really fun! He has a younger brother and a much younger sister (I think she's 5). He has to share a bedroom with his brother, Patrick. Patrick is actually kind of cool! He looks sort of like Mike, except he has longer hair. He's almost 11 and is in the 5th grade, and he and Mike don't seem to argue or fight at all, unlike a lot of brothers. He played football in the back yard with me and Mike, and he's a pretty good athlete. Makes me kind of wish I wasn't an only-child. Mike's house is smaller and a lot older than ours (and definitely nothing like Justin's!) but it's not poor-looking or anything. I like his mom. She gave us chocolate chip cookies, right out of the oven. And he has a really big back yard with a cool tree-house back in the woods behind the lawn. Mike gets to cut the lawn with a riding mower! I told him it would be really cool to use one, but he says it's just as boring as the kind you push... after the first couple times. We went up to his room to check out his models, and he has this 5-foot-high partition thing going half-way across the room between his bed and Patrick's. And on his side of it, Mike has some posters - like that one of Nancy Sinatra with the long boots (Just now, I sang the chorus of "These Boots Are Made For Walkin"... too bad I'm not using a tape recorder for my Journal!) Anyway, he also had one of Johnny Unitas, the quarterback for the Colts, and Illya Kuryarkin from "Man From UNCLE" (I think his name is really David McAllen, or something. He's really cool and... handsome). Mike has made even more models than me! A bunch of them are race cars, like those really crazy ones with the enormous engine sticking out of the hood and lots of exhaust pipes. I'll have to get one at the hobby shop on Saturday. We spent a lot time playing football with Patrick. We played catch and ran pass patterns for a while. Then we played "slaughter the quarterback". Whoever had the ball got chased by the other two guys until he got tackled. It was lots of fun, but I got grass stains all over my tan Levis, and Mom's pissed off about it! I don't know whether this was just my imagination, but it seemed like Patrick was trying to feel me up! Not really obviously, but when we were on the ground after a tackle his hand sometimes rubbed the front of my pants. And when we were on the ground, he held onto me kind of longer than you would expect. And then Mike started doing the same thing! And you know what? I really liked it! And I started kind of doing it to both of them! After we had played for a while (and I was actually getting kind of horny!) Mike suggested we go to the tree-house - all three of us. It's SUCH a cool tree-house, with a rope ladder coming up through a trap-door in the floor, carpet, windows with shutters that close, and even cushions to sit on. But just when we got up there, Mike's mom called out to us to say that my Mom had just phoned and wanted me back home for dinner. Mike only lives about 2 miles away, so it didn't take long to ride back. Today was another really good day. And I'm getting to know Mike better all the time, and LIKE him more all the time. And I even like his family. (Didn't meet his dad, though.) School was fine. It was the first day of football. It's during the last period, and if you don't try out for the team (or if you get cut), you do study hall for that period. If you make the team you get study time during the period when everyone else is taking PE (that's what they call gym class here). Today it wasn't much more than getting uniforms fitted and showing the coaches how well you can run and throw and kick so they can assign positions. I'm a pretty good at running patterns and catching the ball, so I have my fingers crossed that I'll be picked as a receiver. Playing in the line would be really boring. We took showers in this big shower room, with like 20 shower heads! And of course everyone was naked. It was mostly 7th and 8th graders trying out for the team, but also some 6th graders. I was a little worried that I'd feel embarrassed about not having any hair above my penis, but LOTS of kids don't. Some are even 8th graders! And my penis is actually pretty good size compared to most of the others. Of course, a lot of the 6th graders are tiny. There are some 8th graders who are REALLY big, though. And hairy too. I know you're supposed to stare at guys in the shower, but everyone seemed to be doing it, but just for a few seconds at a time. I KNOW a lot of the guys were glancing at ME! It was cool! Woops! It's quarter-after-ten! Time for bed. JOEY'S JOURNAL, Tuesday afternoon, September 12, 1966 "Circle-jerk". That a pretty funny word. But it was a lot of fun! And I hope I get invited to do it again. At football practice, Justin came up to Mike and me and said in a low voice that he was organizing a circle-jerk for after practice, out behind the gym. Mike said "sure", and so did I, even though I didn't know what it was! Mike whispered to me that it's when a bunch of guys get together and jack off all at the same time. Justin had talked about doing it at the camp he went to last summer, and Mike thought it sounded cool. I did too! During showers, I looked over at Justin, and he was smiling at me while he washed himself. And he was soaping up his dick and it was starting to get a little hard! He winked at me, and I looked away. I think I blushed. So when we got dressed, Mike showed me the place. It's a clearing in the middle of some pretty dense woods about 100 yards from school property. Justin was there and other guys were arriving too. It ended up with about10 of us! And some of them were 8th graders. (Mike whispered to me that Justin has some buddies in the 8th grade because they used to be his classmates before he had to repeat 5th grade.) Mike kind of directed everything, just like he seems to do whenever he's with any group. I think some of the other guys had done a circle-jerk before, though, because they were making these comments about being all horny and "let's get going so I don't miss the bus". We all got in a circle (naturally!) and I was just following along with what everyone else did, and when Justin undid his pants and pushed them down to his knees, then pulled his underpants half-way down his hips, I did the same. So did everybody else. Justin was wearing a tee-shirt and did something cool... he pulled his head out but left his arms in, then pulled the whole front of the shirt behind his neck. He really looked... well, sexy. I was wearing a madras button-down, so I just unbuttoned it and pushed it back. Everyone was making themselves hard, and it was REALLY exciting! You know how in the shower you're only supposed to glance at other guys' dicks for a couple seconds? Well, in a circle-jerk you can stare as long as you like! I know other guys were really checking out my boner, just like I was checking theirs, and I tried to put on a good show. You know, kind of leaning the top part of my body back and pushing my boner out... and running my fingertips along the shaft so people could see it throbbing really stiff. Justin said "check this out!" and without touching himself made his boner bob up and down! He said you just have to flex your ass muscles, so I tried it... and it worked! Everyone else was doing it too, and it looked so cool to see all those boners bouncing around! Then Justin said "alright... contest to see who can make himself cum first. Ready... go!" And we all start jacking ourselves really fast. Mike's right next to me, and he's making his foreskin go back and forth over this cockhead. And I'm doing two fingers and my thumb in a circle. And Justin's doing his whole first. One of the 8th graders shot his cum in about 20 seconds! I wasn't anywhere NEAR the fastest, but I wasn't slowest either. We all shot pretty fast, though. Mike was a little before me, and Justin almost last. The group broke up pretty quickly after that, because we had to go back to the lockers and get out books, and some of the guys had to get on the school buses. Mike rides his bike, except when it's raining. I asked Mike if he wanted to come over to my house, but he said his mom was going to take him to the University library to do research for the history project. He says the University library is MUCH better than the public library, and you can get a card to let you in by filling out some papers at our school office. We went to the ice cream shop, though, and did some talking while we ate our cones out under the trees. Mostly about the circle-jerk. I mentioned that I had just doubled the total number of boners I had ever seen in my entire life, and asked Mike when he first saw one, other than his own. He acted kind of embarrassed and said "you first". So I told him about Tony back home in Pennsylvania, and how we had first gotten naked together when he slept over at my house back in 5th grade. We were sort of daring each other along and ended up completely naked. We felt each other up and got really stiff, even though our boners were still pretty small. Then I told Mike "your turn". "This is a secret you can't tell ANYONE! Especially Justin!" "I swear" and I held up my hand with a solemn expression on my face. "Well... you're going to think this is really perverted... but me and my brother Patrick...". He pause for a long time, his face blushing red. "Yeeeessss??" I prompted, feeling excited about what I was guessing he'd say. "We've been kinda doing stuff together for about 2 years. Him and me have shared a room for more than 5 years... ever since my baby sister Linda was born, and we never had any shyness with being naked together. Patrick and me have always gotten along really well and... one thing just kind led to another. I guess I was 10, and he was maybe 8 or 9... he's 18 months younger than me... and he was in my bed ^Ñcause he was scared of a thunderstorm. And we were talking, and I started touching him in a personal way, and he touched me, and... well we took off our underpants and started feeling each other... and I turned on the light so we could look at each other's boner. Anyway he was about the same size as me... maybe a little smaller. And we rubbed them together and all that stuff. And ever since then, we've... uh... we've kinda done all the sex things you can do." "Everything? Like sucking?" "Uh huh..." "Like FUCKING!" He blushed even deeper and shook his head ^Ñyes', then added "he doesn't really fuck me ^Ñcause he's too small, but I let him lie on my back and rub his boner in my ass crack and he really likes it. But I've been fucking him for I guess a year, even before I could cum. We don't kiss or say stupid stuff to each other or anything... we just like to make each other feel good. That's really queer and gross, huh? "No! It's... I don't know... COOL! Makes me wish I had a little brother. Also, I think Patrick is really... you know... kinda cute. In fact, when I was at your house yesterday, I was thinking that maybe the three of us were going to... uh... do some stuff. Up in the tree-house." Mike giggled. "Shit!! That time you went inside to use the bathroom Patrick said he really wanted to see your boner and practically BEGGED me to let the three of us do sex stuff together. I told him ^Ñmaybe'. In fact, even if you wanted to do it, I'm still not sure how I'd feel. Wanna hear something weird? I feel like... I don't want to share you with Patrick... and I don't want to share Patrick with you. Is that stupid, or what?" "I think it's..." (I almost said "sweet"!) "It's a good way to feel, and I understand exactly what you mean." What I wanted to say was that I felt like I liked Mike more than ever. Time for homework. JOEY'S JOURNAL, Tuesday night, September 12, 1966 Just a quick entry before bed. I talked to my history project partner just now, and she's kind of cool. Bonnie McKendrick. She's really smart, but doesn't show off about it at all. Seems like she's not in the "in-group". I guess because she dresses in kind of boyish clothes - jeans and regular shirts - instead of dresses, and she doesn't use make-up. And also it seems like popular girls aren't supposed to be smart. She has a really pretty face, though, and seems really nice. Justin was telling me today, after the teacher announced partners for the project, that Bonnie is a "lezbo", whatever that means. Sounded from Justin's tone that it's not a good thing to be. Oh well. I still like her. Goodnight. JOEY'S JOURNAL, Wednesday night, September 13, 1966 Mike came over today, and we... well, we did some something. And I'm not entirely sure whether I should write about it, but I guess I will. I think I feel really good about it, but... it's kind of scary too. After school, Mike biked over and we played around and talked. And we were in my room and talking about school when he asked me if I was going to the 7th grade dance - the "Fall Fling" - on Friday of next week. I hadn't really thought about it and asked him what it was like. I told him I'd never been to a dance before. Turned out he's never been to one either, but Justin talked to his 8th grade friends about it. The school hires a college kid who brings all this DJ stuff and big speakers and lots of records. The music is mostly fast dances, and it doesn't really matter if you don't know how to dance; you can just do the twist if you didn't know anything else. But the last song is a slow one, and they turn down the lights, and it's kind of the unofficial rule that couples make out with each other during the song, right there in the middle of the gym, and the chaperones don't make them stop like they would otherwise. Mike said I should invite Mary Jane. (I was thinking, though, that I^Ñd enjoy being with Bonnie better.) Then he brought up that fib I told at Justin's sleep-over - about how I'd french-kissed with her and felt her tits. He said he was really jealous of me! I blushed a little, I think, and almost didn't say anything. But then I decided that best friends shouldn't lie to each other. "Uh, Mike.... I didn't actually do most of that stuff with May Jane. Or any other girl, for that matter. I was just kind of saying it because you and Justin were talking about how far you'd gotten with girls. In fact, Mary Jane just gave me a quick kiss and I didn't know what to do... so I didn't do anything, and I just, like, said 'good-bye' to her, and I felt like a real jerk." "Well..." said Mike, "I got a confession too. I didn't do that stuff at Myrtle Beach that I was bragging about either. Fact is, I've never done ANYTHING with a girl. I just didn't want Justin to call me a nerd or something. Justin can get kind of mean sometimes." After a pause he added "Do you ever wonder what it's like to make out with a girl?" "Of course!" I said. "I guess we'll find out if we go to the dance, huh? Maybe you should take... whats-her-name... with the long blond hair, in history class. Seems like she's always flirting with you." "Debbie Sue Wilson," he said. "Yeah, maybe. Hey, I got an idea! Let's turn on the radio and practice dancing. I can sorta do those dances like the jerk and the watusi and the froog. Patrick and I sometimes practice at home. Wanna try?" "Sure!" I said and turned on the radio. The "Ballad of the Green Berets" was just finishing up, and we both sang along in loud voices. Then they started playing "Cherish" by the Association, which I can't stand, so I switched stations. WRNB was playing "Cool Jerk" by some Negro group that I can't remember. We both got up and started dancing around. Mike was DEFINITELY better than me! I tried to copy what he was doing, and he helped me out with suggestions. After the song was over, there were a couple of commercials, and he showed me some more stuff. The next song was "Reach Out" by the 4 Tops. I just kind of shuffled around, trying to get comfortable with something. I also watched Mike, thinking that he really looked cool and that it was fun to be doing this with him. They started up the next song with no commercials - "When a Man Loves a Woman" by Percy Sledge. Whenever I hear it when I'm doing my homework or something, I HAVE to stop and listen... it's like it turns on this valve in my brain that holds my emotions. Not too many things turn on that valve, but for some reason that song is one of them. (Remember last Spring when I read that book "Of Mice and Men"? When I finished the last page... POW! The valve popped WIDE open!) Anyway, Mike looked at me... and I looked at him... "Think we oughta... you know, practice? Wanna do it... just for a laugh?" he asked... but he had a serious look on his face. "Yeah," I replied; "for practice... and just for fun." But my heart was thumping against my ribs, and it felt like my face was blushing a deep shade of purple as we awkwardly put our arms around each other. He had his around my waist, so I ended up as the "girl", with my arms around his neck. The music was burrowing it's way into part of my brain where my emotions live and opening up that valve, and I felt like I was melting in Mike's arms. He's kind of huskier than I am, and I leaned on him as our bodies pressed together and we swayed with the music. I felt his arms tighten around me, and it was just like I felt when we were up in the loft of the old barn on Sunday. I was so filled with feelings that it seemed like I could hardly breathe, but I never wanted it to end. I nuzzled my face against Mike neck, and my lips brushed against his smooth skin below his ear. Mike's body shivered slightly, and he murmured my name softly... "Oh, Joey..." I don't know whether he did it... or I did it... or we did it at the same time.... I guess my eyes were closed and... it just happened. Our lips touched for just a split-second, and my head was spinning... my heart filled my chest, ready to burst apart. Our lips closed upon each other, and I felt... God!... It was this ravenous hunger to taste his wet lips, to breathe his breath, to join ourselves together. Mike's tongue touched my lips, and... instantly... I understood what real kissing was. I wanted Mike's tongue in my mouth; mine in his. I wanted every nerve ending of my tongue to explore every warm, wet curve and micro-bump of his tongue. I was lost in the world of our never-ending kiss. The DJ was jabbering in the distant background; Paul Revere was complaining that 'kicks just keep getting harder to find'; and my Mom was off in some different galaxy (probably the kitchen, fixing dinner). But Mike and I were joined together so tight that a jackhammer couldn't have budged us apart. Finally our mouths separated. And for the first time in all this, I opened my eyes... staring straight into Mike face... and his expression looked exactly the way I felt - happy, confused, excited, exhausted... and ready to do it some more. "Want to lie down?" he asked, even as he moved us toward the bed. "Let me lock the door first." "Can we... do you want to... get undressed?" "YES!" I said in a joyously emphatic whisper. We stripped nude in record time, and our bodies were reunited on my bed. Now there were two focuses for the churning energy inside me - our tongues were back together, but now our boners were doing their own dance as we lay side-by-side. Mike was lying on my right arm and it was going numb, so I rolled Mike's body onto mine. I liked the way it felt. My hands could touch him all over - his back, his shoulders, his hair, his slender ass, his strong, lean thighs. My legs were spread and by instinct, I wrapped them around his upper legs. He smiled warmly down at me as our mouths joined again, and his thrusting hips made our cocks slide together. With every push of his hips against me, my legs pulled him into me and my crotch rose up to press us even closer together. Mike hands were all over my upper body - my face and hair, my arms and shoulders, my chest. The late-summer heat and humidity made our bodies slippery with sweat as we urgently thrust against each other, chest sliding against chest, cock against cock, tongue against tongue. From the noises Mike was making, and the desperate thrashing of his body, I knew he would cum any second. I wrapped my arms around his back and pulled him tight against me as his sperm splattered between our sliding bellies. I was very close myself and probably would have cum from rubbing against Mike's body, but only a few moments after his cum, Mike wiggled his body down until his face was at my straining penis. It disappeared into his mouth, and Mike treated me to the wildest minute of pleasure I'd ever felt. Then I too erupted, spraying my fluid onto my friend's tongue. Lying side-by-side, out of breath, I thought about what we had done. Thoughts that I had been chasing from my brain came back, stronger than ever. I didn't just "really, really like" Mike. I LOVED him. I was sure of it. But it wasn't right! It was queer to love another boy. What was I going to do? "Mike?" I said at last. "We ought to get dressed. It's getting late." "Yeah; I know.... Uh, Joey? We kinda got crazy just now, huh? "Yeah; that's for sure.... But it was really fun, don't you think?" "YEAH!" he replied with a big smile. "I'm not gonna tell anybody... ok?" "Me neither. It's our secret." As we stood next to each other and pulled on our underpants, I asked him (though I knew the answer) "So... are we still best friends?" "You KNOW it!! And that's not EVER gonna be a secret!" I couldn't help myself. I gave him one last kiss on the lips... a quick one. He looked at me for a few seconds with an expression I couldn't read, and I thought that maybe I did exactly the wrong thing. But then his incredible smile lit up his face, and he kissed me back... longer and harder. "We'll ALWAYS be best friends, Joey. ALWAYS!" [The end... at least for now. Any suggestion are most welcome.]