Date: Sun, 2 Sep 2012 12:02:00 -0400 From: Starr Kidd Subject: Not So Typical Friday At Work Gay male urination/raunch READERS: Please remember that NIFTY needs our support to provide these stories to the public. Please make your donation to: http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html Copyright 2012 Starrkidd42. All Rights Reserved. This story may not be copied or posted to any other websites without the explicit permission of the author. This is purely fictional and any similarities to real life events are not intended. Here it is, another Friday morning, and I am at work sitting in my small private office. It's a rather slow days for me while my coworkers are all plugging away. This is nothing unusual. Their murmur from phone calls, typing, and useless chatter drifts and then fades into the background. I loosen up my tie, kick off my shoes, and give my cock and balls a nice squeeze. My day started out slow and somehow managed to drag on; I swear the clock is going backwards. To help pass the time, like any 29 year old, I usually have facebook open. I can sometimes read the news and even have a book handy but today none of that is helping to alleviate my boredom. My mind keeps wandering while my hand is constantly finds the soft fabric of my dress pants over my cock. I can feel the warm mound, my cock and balls held nice tight by my white briefs. I flutter my toes and feel the black cotton socks rub them, hug my ankle, and hold my foot. I always wear soccer socks under my suit. Fuck, my mind wanders away from work and over to my phone. I pull up one of my favorite hook up web sites and start cruising, seeing who?s around me. I see an array of skinny torsos, headless profiles and bitchy attitudes. Typical day. As I?m scrolling though something catches my eye. Something? Fuck that, his picture was hot. In the little profile picture was a white guy, about 38 years old, scruffy beard, beautiful brown eyes, and a smirk. I check out his profile and see some other pics, typical cock shots, but I keep going back to his face. He is 6 ft tall, vers/top, has brown hair, has some bulk to him and I see some key words like ?un-showered? and ?raunchy?. Ah, a man after my own heart! I message him, what do I have to loose? I go back to looking at profiles, watching the door to make sure the boss wont walk in, and rubbing my cock. The vibration from the phone startles me when a notification comes up. He emailed me back. This could go either way I think. I take a deep breath and click his message. He?s interested! We exchange messages & start flirting. Through some conversations I find out he works a few blocks away from me. FUCK YEA! For about an hour or so we continue flirting, since nether of us could really leave work to meet. I found out some pretty interesting things about this guy. He never wears deodorant, he usually showers every other day, likes to piss on a boy, and really wants to use and humiliate a guy. He almost never shakes the last drop when he pisses. He has been in and out of meetings and always leaves me hanging onto his every word. Just when I think he is going to flake, there is a new, hotter message. The whole time we are chatting I have been stroking my cock under my desk. I?m leaking pre cum that must be pudding up on the floor at this point. I can feel it soaking into my briefs and running down my balls. I want to whip my dick out and beat off right there, but I love that I cant. I keep teasing and flirting with him. He asks me when was the last time I showered. I respond by saying this morning. Damn it, he is raunchy and I just told him I washed all my funk away. I can at least redeem myself by admitting my white briefs are a day old. I didn?t change them since yesterday. My ball sweat, some piss, and a load of cum from last night are soaked into the material. A few farts are sitting in the seat of them as well. My socks are two days old having only come off for my shower. I wore them non-stop, to the gym, all day at the office yesterday and even to bed. I wiggle my toes again. As our conversation progresses his questions started to get more intrusive, asking what is something I have always wanted to do with a guy, but never had the chance to. This guy is hot, and he doesn?t seem disgusted by my responses so I allow myself to admit much more to him. I tell him I always love being spit on by a guy not just saliva but gob that is loaded with phlegm hocked from the back of his throat, getting pissed on, worshiping his feet. I want to try drinking his spit, not just a little splatter but a full mouthful. I want a guy to force me to suck his cock and when I'm down there he gives an unapologetic fart. I want a guy to blow his nose on my tongue. Fuck, I keep stroking and almost shoot off while just talking to him. While I am admitting my fantasies to this hot dom, whom I?ve never met, he surprises me he demands my phone number. Without thinking I just start punching my numbers into the message and hit reply. I then realize what I just did. He might call me at work. I can?t talk dirty to him here, but I fear if he calls and I don?t answer he may think I'm a flake. FUCK! My phone suddenly vibrates. My heart stops, my breathing stops, and my dick gets rock hard. I have a new text message? My breathing starts again. My hands are shaking and I open the new message. It?s a picture. It?s a man sitting on the toilet. I see his beefy hairy legs, a white porcine toilet under his thighs, some toilet paper clumped in the water under his soft 5-inch plump cock. I can see he is wearing white briefs too, with some yellow stains in front. A shadow falls on the back of them so I cant really make out if they are dirty or not, boy I hope so. Below are his work khakis, black athletic socks, and grey new balance sneakers. Another message popped up. He said if I liked what I see I have to reply with a picture. If I didn?t, I could just delete the texts and we would be done. I start thinking of the hottest picture I have on the phone and then I realize there is more to the message. He orders a response picture is of his choosing. He wants me to go to the men?s room, strip off all of my clothes but my socks and underwear. I have to then go over to the urinal, shove my head where everyone pisses and lick the whole rim. FUCK! In a fluster, I grab my phone, shove my cock down and head off to the bathroom. I walk as fast as I can and try to avoid all of my coworkers. I push open the men?s room door and as I almost run into the bathroom, I collide into my boss. I push past him and throw myself into the end stall. My heart is racing, probably from all the blood going straight to my dick. I start taking off my dress shirt and under shirt and hang it on the clothes hook on the back of the door. I drop my pants to my ankles and start kicking off my shoes. I?m finally in my soccer socks and white briefs. My hands are on the stall lock unlatching it; phone is in the other. As quick as I can, I rush over to the urinal bend over and aim the camera. I squat down and my tongue touches the cold porcelain and suddenly there is a tart flavor on my mouth. I see the pale yellow dots all over the rim and realize my tongue is in the biggest one. No time to think, no time to taste, and no time stop. I click the button, the flash goes off and before I know it I am sitting on the pot, heart still racing, and my finger on the send button. With a deep breath held in anticipation I push it. As I?m sitting there I realize I have to put my pants on, well at least at my ankles in case anyone comes in. In the middle of fumbling around a new text comes over. It says to get dressed, go back to my desk, put my full suit on, put my shoes back on, and sit as desk. As I?m getting dressed I?m wondering if he likes my picture, if I followed his orders to the T. Did he see my I was only in my socks and underwear for the picture. As I get up, I splash come cold water on my face, and go back to my desk. As I?m walking another message causes my phone to vibrate. I almost shoot my pants. I put my shoes, tie, and jacket on, sit at my desk, and open the message. It says he wants to play tonight. I am to get a six-pack of beer and be standing in front of my office at 5 pm. I also cannot use the bathroom between now and then. I have to sit there, literally, for the rest of the day without getting up, without going to the bathroom, and without touching my dick. Fuck, its only 11 am and I had 3 cups of coffee. This is gonna be an agonizing day. At 4:45 I get up from my desk, rush out of the office and hit the liquor store a block from my office. I pick up a six-pack of bud light but put it down when I see the Yuengling. I don?t wanna look too eager, now do I. I then head back to my building entrance and wait for this guy. I have no clue what he is driving or when he is gonna show up. I start sweating a bit when my coworkers start exiting the building. I say goodbye to them, trying not to show how nervous I am waiting for him. I hear a horn blast and some guy yells out ?Get in, bitch!? Yup, that?s for me. I give one last glance to my coworkers whom have overheard the bitch comment. I give a joking look as if to say its just one of my asshole friends. I walk up to his Silverado truck take a deep breath, and get it. When I get in my nerves start up. I know this is my last chance to bail but this guy got me all worked up. I think of that pic I had to take and say fuck it. Off we go. We arrive at his house after about 20 mins of small talk. He pulls into the driveway and tells me to give him a beer. I open it, hand it to him and right then and there he downs the whole bottle. As he pulls it away from his mouth I can see some saliva and some dribble of beer glisten on his lips. He grabs me by the back of my neck and pulls me in for a kiss. Just as I get my lips over to his face he releases a loud and breathy burp. It smells like beer and musk. I feel some of his beer and spit land all over my face. He just looks at me and says Get your ass up to the door. As I head up I know we are gonna have a good time. As he opens the door to let me in he tosses me a beer and tells me to down it. I start to gulp but apparently is isn?t fast enough. He snatches the beer out of my mouth. Standing behind me he wraps his arm around my throat, holds the beer up to my lips and turns it upside down. He tells me I better chug it. I have no choice but to do it. As I?m chugging I feel his chest on my back. I keep swallowing as fast as I can to show him I can follow his orders. He pats me on the head and says good pup. He tosses me another beer and says again. I learned from last time and chug as fast as I can. Once he plants his mouth on mine. I let out a burp and he just grunts. We keep making out and all I can taste is him. He starts felling my body while kissing, feeling each muscle. Fuck I feel tiny in his arms. He breaks the kiss and takes a swig of beer. He plants his lips back on mine and starts kissing again. I feel his mouth open and in rushes his semi warm beer. I just instinctively swallow everything that comes out of his mouth. He says good boy and then orders me to his sneakers. I am ordered to lick his sneakers, front to back, top to bottom. Without thinking I dive onto them. My tongue is dragged all over the smooth rubber top, over the cotton laces, I even manage to sneak a lick at his ankle. He lifts up his sneakers and I know I have to lick the sole. I drag my tongue on the bottom, tasting the grit and feeling the tread. Once finished I look up at him. He smiles and puts the other shoe right in my face. I start all over again. I untie each shoe, pull on the tongue and help him step out of his shoes. The smell immediately hits me. I can tell this guy wears these sneakers all the time. The smells are extremely intoxicating. I am on my knees, staring at his socks and feet when all of a sudden his pants fall to the ground. I look up and see the yellow stains all over the pouch of his white briefs. He must never shake after he pisses. Without thinking I just grab onto his legs and start touching them all over. Running my hands up and down his muscles. His legs are so warm and I can taste a hint of sweat on them. As I go in kiss his pouch he pushes me back. I fall on my ass and he hocks up a loogie and spits on me. He tells me I have 10 seconds to get out of my shirt, jacket, tie, pants and shoes. I kick them off and start tearing everything off. In a matter of seconds I am sitting on his floor in just my white briefs and black soccer socks. I don?t know how long it was but I?m rewarded with a beer. He tosses it directly at my balls hitting the underside of them. Stars shoot into my eyes and I roll over onto my side. Fuck that hurt. He walks out of the living room and says I can have a minute to catch my breath. When he comes back he is standing in front of me in just the dirty briefs and socks, nothing else. He has a big smile on his face and a new beer in his hand. Before saying a word he pops open the beer and chugs it right down. I see the bubble form and watch his throat as he empties the beer right down into his belly. When he is done, I sit on my knees watching in awe. He bends over and puts his face right in front of mine. I know what?s coming and I can?t wait. He holds a second or two, letting anticipation build and then suddenly releases a loud breathy burp right in my face. Mmmm! ?You like that, boy?? and all I can utter out is an ?mmm hmm, Sir?. He laughs and tells me to follow him into the bathroom. I start to rise off my knees and he gives me a look. Damn it, I knew better than to stand up. Hanging my head in shame I crawl down the hallway following him. In front of me, all I can see are his muscular beefy legs. The brown hair wrapping around his thighs and calves and trickling down hidden by his socks. Once in the bathroom he orders me into the tub. I kneel, facing him, not knowing what to expect. He pulls his cut 8-inch hard-on from his dirty briefs. I can see his trimmed public hair, his nice plump balls hang over the band. He pulls my chin closer to his cock, my breath warming up the tip. I see it twitch and his hand travels right to the root. He looks at me with such arrogance and slaps me across my face with his cock. It leaves a stinging feeling in my left cheek. Almost instantly there is another across my right and just when I think its over, he slaps his cock on my forehead. Just for good measure, he sucks down and hocks back. I can hear the phlegm in his throat. Over the red cock marks on my face is a warm gooey splatter. His yellow and white mucus is sprayed across my face and dripping down my check. He laughs and says ?now you?re ready, open your mouth?. His warm cock head is right at my mouth. Holding my head in place he pushes his cock past my teeth, past my tongue, and down my throat. I can feel it hit the back of my throat and then curve down further. I start choking and coughing. My mouth is full, I cant breath and he keeps pumping. I can smell his balls though all of this. They haven?t seen the light of day for some time now. My eyes are watering and phlegm shoots out of the side of my mouth as he keeps pumping. I start to pull off but his hands are too strong. He keeps pulling me back on that cock. I panic and start to reach for anything that could help, but I?m in the middle of the tub and cant reach anything. He barks out ?put your fucking hands behind your back, faggot? and pushes his cock all the way in. I continue choking, this time much worse but my hands are behind my back, as ordered. He lets go but holds my face up. Part of my lunch spews out my mouth all over his cock. It?s not a lot, but enough to soak his cock head and drip down onto my thighs and roll down to my socks. I look up at him, though teary eyes, snot dripping down my nose into my mouth. He has a big smile on his face showing his pure pleasure. While smiling he says ?why the fuck did you stop, piggy? and jams his cock back in my mouth. It?s salty and acidy, musky and slick. Like a good boy I suck his cock making sure my tongue rubs under his cock, all over the head, and without his assistance I take his cock to the hilt. After several minutes, just when I start getting the hang of having his hard cock down my throat he pulls out of my mouth. The phlegm and pre cum leaves a trail dangling from my mouth to his cock. The line breaks over my stomach and leaves a trail. Grabbing my arm he tugs me out of the bathtub, bends me over and has me place my arms on the countertop. My legs are spread in a bent over frisk position. I can feel all of the goo dripping off my face and pooling in front of me. He tugs my underwear down and spreads my ass cheeks open. I can feel the coldness of the countertop along the underside of my arms. The phlegm and snot mixture is loosing some of the warmth it had when it first came out of me. My calves are nice and warm still from the cotton soccer socks. There is a warmth blowing on my asshole, it?s his breath. My ass cheeks are pried apart and I get really self-conscious. I don?t know how clean, or how dirty for that matter, I am. I can?t reach back and check, I can?t stop everything and say I need a minute. He growls and before I register what?s going on, his tongue is in my ass. I feel his scruff tearing a the skin around my hole. His slobber is coating my hole and dripping down my taint along the back of my balls. I can hear him grunting and slobbering; his wet tongue slapping all over my asshole and cheeks. I start getting pushed forward and it feels like he is going to eat me starting at my hole. Hearing him get into this turns me on to no end. This hot masculine man going completely primal on me. I want to jack off while he is going to town but if I touch my cock I?m gonna blow my load in a heartbeat. He slows down now, I can hear him getting out of breath. Fuck, even I need a break from all of this pleasure. He starts making out with my asshole, slowly hissing it, dipping his tongue in and out. Focusing on the center his movements become more precise. This feels amazing, I could take this for hours. Just as the ecstasy is filling me up, there is a rumble in my guts. Not the acidy stomach ach usually associated with rumbles, but this was more like a drumming in my bowels. This is some new, strange feeling. As soon as it starts is when it stops. He backs off my ass and then reaches up an presses on my stomach. A fart rumbles out of my gut, blowing for at least 10 seconds, right on him. I can?t tell if it was his face or if he backed away. All I can tell is that I?m extremely embarrassed. Before I can be fully mortified the drumming starts again. This time he takes a deeper breath and blows much longer into my ass. Not only was he rimming my ass but he is also filling me up like a balloon. Once full he goes to press on my stomach again. Before his hands makes contact I start pushing with my stomach muscles. He lets out a proud laugh and smacks my ass. While farting, he plugs my ass with his tongue and keeps flicking my ass lips. Again the drumming and he do it one more time, this time though, he turns me around and looks into my eyes while I fart. We kiss again. Taking a break, he turns on the water, takes a sip and spills it into my mouth. What doesn?t make it into my mouth dribbles down my fuzzy chest and onto my balls. We kiss again and he takes a seat on the toilet. He pulls me over, kisses me, and then forces me to my knees. I?m there, in front of his crotch, licking his cock through the raunchy fabric. He pulls out his cock and guides my head down. Gently, without forcing it, I start to blow him. Slowly, enjoying the taste of his cock, the feel in my mouth. He allows me to catch my breath and settle back down all the while enjoying his blowjob. He stands up and turns around. Demanding I pull down his underwear, he steps out and wipes my face with it. The then turns around to face the wall. Reaching back, he spreads his cheeks and tells me to get to work. Right as my tongue makes contact with his asshole, he blurts out ?boy, I took two shits at work today and didn?t have a chance to shower. Enjoy.?. I just go for it. As soon as my tongue makes contact with his ass, he lets his cheeks go and they slap closed around my face. All I can smell is sweat and ass, a nice ripe raunchy ass. It doesn?t smell like shit, it smells like man. I put my tongue on his hole and taste the tartness. I start to lick up and down, pressing my tongue in his hole. I start lapping like a dog and hear him moaning. Telling me what a bitch I am, that I?m licking an asshole that shit two times that day. That he didn?t take too much care when wiping. Fuck, I feel his sweaty ass cheeks rubbing on my cheeks, I feel the wetness of his ass all over my face. All the while, I?m rubbing his muscular legs, I reach down and my hand makes contact with his feet. I can feel the soft warm fabric of his socks on my hands. My tongue can feel him pushing his asshole out, puffing it out into my mouth. I start making out with it, sliding my tongue in his rubbery hole. He is jacking his cock the whole time. After a bit, he turns around, forcing my face out of his ass. I feel like a dog whose master just took his bowl. I was hungry, feeding on that delectable asshole. He looks at me, grabs my chin like you would a dog, lets out a massive burp, then bends down and kisses me. When he pulls off, I feel slobber all over my face. I can see stands of saliva and snot bridging from his mouth to mine. As he pulls away the strands pull to the breaking point and lands across my chest. He plugs up one of his nostrils and blows a snot rocket onto my face. Like a good boy I take it, savor it, beg for more. He pulls me up by my chin. With us facing each other he kicks my legs apart into a frisk position. He said to wait there for a moment. Facing the wall, I can only hear him walk out of the room. His feet slap the cold tile. I don?t want him to go, I want him here, feeling his body all around me, his warmth, his spit, his slime all over me. After what feels like an eternity he comes back to the room. Without saying a word he pulls my hands away from my back. There is pressure all on my shoulders. There is enough that I lose my balance and slip forward. My head hits the wall and I am caught. Damn it, this means I am stable and he pulls my arms even further. Before I know it, my hands are tied behind my back. He lets go of my wrists and they fall to my back. My shoulders feel better, but not by much. In one swoop he rips off my underwear. Just as I step out of them his hands find my shoulders and start to push down. I start to kneel and he barks out, ?Fucking squat down, shithead?. I bend my knees and lower down. He pushes my shoulders down further and in response, I squat further. With some rope, he ties my balls. They are tied like a parachute with two strands hanging down, one on each side. I feel the rope get tighter and see he is going for my ankles. He wraps the skinniest part of my ankles with the rope and ties it off. Now I can?t stand up. I start to slither down and he slaps the under side of my balls. I see stars just as he lets out a quick ?No!?. Now that I can?t stand up straight he sits down in front of me, in between my legs. He puts the three middle fingers of his hand together and licks them. In one swoop they are between my ass cheeks digging their way into my asshole. I start to pull up and away when my balls feel like they are about to rip off my body. I sink back onto his fingers and grunt. He lets out a laugh, looks at me and raises his eyebrows like he was thinking ?gotcha, boy?. He pushes further and I feel his middle finger in my ass. His two other fingers are pushing into my ass hole, stretching it. It feels like my asshole is ripping apart. All the while my cock is soft. His middle finger hits my prostate. I pull up and let out a moan of ecstasy. He keeps digging with no mercy, I?m sweating, my balls are about to rip off my body, and my legs are killing me from holding this squat position. Because of the pain, my cock isn?t hard. I look down just in time to see the limp cock spill my load all over him. It dribbles out of my cock onto his chest. There is no orgasm, he just milked my ass. With his fingers still pummeling my prostate, and how fucking hot this scene is, the orgasm starts to build. He is relentless. I feel my ass buzz and that?s when I start to stand up straight. There is a great tug on my balls and his fingers go deeper. I can?t get away and I don?t want to. My whole body start to tense, then shutter. I start to sit on his hand, trying to get it as far as it can in my ass. There is nothing in my balls to spill by my orgasm shoots up my body. I throw my head back and let out a moan like no other. Exhausted, I fall forward. He sees this and catches me just in time. With my hands and balls still tied he sits me on the toilet to catch my breath. My head hangs down while he unties my ankles. I?m out of breath and slump over. I can?t believe I just got milked and then had the most mind-blowing orgasm. My legs are untied and I sprawl out on the toilet. A fart escapes my ass and he just laughs. Again he steps out of the room. This time I?m grateful so I can just sit here and catch my breath. Process what just happened. He walks back in with a Twix bar. Earlier in the day I told him how I like to have a piece of chocolate after I orgasm. Fuck, he should give me a 3 ft tall Easter bunny after this. He pulls the wrapper, pulls out one bar and take s a huge bite. Half of the bar is in his mouth and the starts chewing. His mouth opens while chewing so I can see the cookie, caramel, chocolate, and saliva all mixing together. The chunks around his mouth, coating his tongue, the strands of saliva between his teeth. He bends down and brings his open mouth down to mine. With a quick punch in the gut my mouth opens and immediately he starts to push the mass into my mouth. I can feel the chewed up mess, the slimy, grainy, sweet tasting mess entering my mouth. His tongue slides all over mine. I can feel some of the mess sneak out and dribble over my lips. It?s on the side of my mouth and on my chin. I play with the chewed up bar in my mouth. I feel it, run my tongue all along it, feel it, taste it, and then in one swoop I swallow it all. Fuck, it tastes so good, and knowing this guy chewed it up makes it even better. He stands back, see the mess on my face and farts. While I am sitting in the gas cloud he starts tugging on his cock. I can see the purple head, a dribble of precum escapes the tip and lands on my leg. I see the sweat build up on his brow, some spit escapes his mouth. His breathing increases and he starts to sway back and forth. As my eyes look down his chest and onto his cock I am just in time to see the spray. The ropes of white cum shoot out of his cock and coat me. It lands all over my hairy chest, I feel it drip down onto my lap and onto my cock. Fuck, He shoots gallons. He stumbles back a step or two, hits the wall and then slides down it. I see the sweat from his back streak the wall. I go back to savoring the left over chocolate in my mouth. A few minutes later he comes out of his orgasm coma and starts to rise. He stands up and walks over to me. Tell me to stick out my tongue he blows his nose on it. He says he doesn?t care what I do with it as long as I don?t spit it out. Like a good boy I swallow. He bends me over my legs and steps over the back of my head. Holding me in place by his thighs he starts to untie my wrists. Just as he is about done a fart escapes his ass and buries itself into the back of my head. Once there is no rope on my anymore he pulls me to my feet and offers me a bottle of water. We start some chitchat, about each other?s lives, work, if that scene was raunchy enough for us, if we wanted to go further. Halfway through my water he pulls it from my hands. He shoves his index finger in his nose and pulls out a green and yellow booger. He places it on the rim of the bottle and hands it back to me. I put the clean side up to my lips and he start shaking his head no. I twist the bottle so the booger is lined up with my mouth. With some hesitation I take a big gulp. I feel the booger release from the bottle lip and hit the inside of my mouth. Before I puke I just swallow as fast as I can. He laughs. Through some more chitchat we quickly get back on the topic of sex and my cock gets hard again. He says as a reward I can cum again, wherever I want. I drop down to all fours, I crawl out of the bathroom and stop on top of his New Balance sneaker. My cock enters his shoe and starts rubbing up where his foot rests. I can still feel some of the sweat in the sneaker. The shoe hits up against my groin, I can feel my balls hanging over the back of it. The only thing my cock is touching is the inside bottom of the shoe, nothing else. There is no other stimulation other than the opening of the shoe hitting my groin. I?m really getting into it when I suddenly feel his finger slide into my asshole again. This time its gentle, working only one finger in. I look down between my legs and see his feet. This pushes me over the edge and I cum inside his shoe. Exhausted I fall onto it. My pelvis is the only thing held up. While I smile and enjoy this post-cuming euphoria He bends down, spits on my face and barks ?You have 10 seconds to get dressed and get the fuck out of my apartment or I?m kicking you out in whatever you have on!?. I scramble to grab everything I can. Without my glasses this is extremely hard. I grab my shirt, pants, jacket, and shoes, wallet, keys. I barely manage to throw my glasses on. I don?t have my underwear or socks or tie. As soon as I grab all of this I feel his muscular hands on my arms, the grip is tight and I secretly hope it will leave marks. He whips open the door and shoves me out, kicking whatever I dropped. With a loud bang the door to his apartment slams shut. It echoes down the hall, my heart tops. Here I am, with my shirt around my arm, pants in hand, shoes kicked down the hall, dripping in cum, piss, and chocolate all over my face. Its gonna be a fun trip home.