Simon's Journal

Volume IV

Thirteen Summer Days
A New Beginning

Written by Danny

Chapter – 12

Tuesday

I awoke the next morning with a huge smile on my face. I had been actually having a really good dream, about my sweet Mary. Oddly we were married and she kept bugging me to take the baby out of the oven before it became uneatable. I kept trying to tell her that it wasn't done yet!

I'm not sure what that was about, but just the fact that I wasn't having yet another nightmare and that I was dreaming about my sweet girl was more then enough to make me smile.

I lay there trying to force my brain to remember the dream so I could tell Mary about it later, when I realized I wasn't hearing anything. There was a complete lack of sound, which made me sure no one else was awake yet. I couldn't hear crickets, or frogs or birds or even a fire crackling which would have at least told me one of the adults had crawled from their tent. Thanks to the thick canvas of our Army Surplus tent which allowed no light to get through, I was left to wonder how early it was or if the sun was even up yet. Heck, for all I knew, it could still be the middle of the night.

The next thing to come to mind was what Lowell had done last night. I'm referring to him first blowing me then climbing on top of my erection so that, while I slept, I was impaling his tight, little, boy-button. I had awakened right as my body exploded with an orgasm. Shortly after that, I had fallen back to sleep. With that now replaying in my rapidly awakening mind I got rather... um... worked up!

I was lying on my side, away from Lowell who was snuggled tightly against my back, breathing on my neck. His right arm was trapped under me; I knew this because I had the fingers of my left hand intertwined with his. His other arm was under my left arm with his hand resting on my left cheek and...

"What the heck?!" I thought to myself.

I had moved my left hand to press the front of my diaper tighter against my erection, but my hand had not come into contact with a diaper at all. Instead my hand collided with the head of my exposed penis. It hurt a bit too; like stubbing a pinky-toe on a bedpost in the dark.

"Lowell?!" I thought very loudly to myself as I realized we were altogether in our altogether and altogether as diaperless as could be.

As you may have guessed, with the complete lack of padding about our loins, the sleeping bag beneath us was downright sopping wet. Thank God neither one us had pooped the bed... uh... bag... uh... tent, last night!

Now, had I not felt his morning wood push against the crack of my ass I probably would have woke him up to find out why we were both swimming in our combined urine.

I cannot tell you why I did what I did next. Maybe it was because of what he had done to me last night? I just don't know. All I can say is that at that very second, I had never wanted something so much.

I carefully moved my stark, white, bubble butt back just enough so that his morning wood was pressed against my glorious bottom pucker. Just the feel of him between my butt cheeks is indescribable. He muttered my name lightly in his sleep and pushed forward.

"He's dreaming about me!" I moaned and bit my bottom lip.

I lay with his engorged knob knocking at my back door for a moment or so. I was trying to mentally force my sphincter to relax when he began to softly and repeatedly stab at me. He was still breathing that same sleepy, steady kind of breathing, although a bit more rapidly than before but still deep and rhythmically; so I knew he was still asleep. I took a deep breath, held it and then pushed my backside toward him. I could feel his hard head pressing firmly against the opening of my ass and with a little more backward pressure I felt him enter me with a bit of a popping sensation.

Upon the head of his penis slipping into my bottom I gulped in a lungful of air and held it until the pain went away. It only hurt a tiny bit but I think it was the reminder of another time that was hurting more than anything. My lungs began to ache for fresh air and I had to force myself to breathe again. Surprisingly, with the intake of oxygen the pain left like a dissipating morning fog. I was then overcome with such an excitement the likes of which I had never felt before, not even when Rico made love to me. I would be lying if I said I had never thought of taking Lowell inside of me; but frankly the idea did not sit well with me at all. Up to that very moment, Rico was the only person I had voluntarily allowed to enter me in such a way. So why then did I, at that moment, want him?

I took another deep breath and blew it out through puckered lips as I pushed back even more. Lowell grunted as I felt him sink in about an inch. He began to stir slightly and as a result his hips began to press against me with greater and greater eagerness. I could feel him enter me about another inch.

I had a thought that flashed and disappeared like lightning. "Lowell is actually screwing me and it doesn't hurt!"

Unexpectedly, his hand left my face and reached down to grip my left hip. He was making cute cooing sounds and lovingly kissing me on my neck. I was sure he was awake now so I thrust back and he pushed his cock all the way in my ass. I tried to muffle my gasp, but I was still loud enough that if anyone else was awake, I am sure they heard me.

Perhaps being so relaxed after sleeping so deeply or perhaps because Lowell and I were soaked with pee is why he was able to slide into me so easily and why it didn't hurt as much as I had imaged it would. I mean it was nothing like when Runt or Mort had forced themselves into me. Then again, Lowell's penis is nowhere near the size of an adult's penis. Lowell's is fun sized!

Unable to stay quiet I moaned, "Oh Lowell!"

I didn't need to say anymore; actually I couldn't say more because his hand returned to my face and covered my mouth.

There was no doubt whatsoever that he was wide awake now. He slowly maneuvered my body so that I was now on my stomach, legs spread wide open and he was on top of me. He continued to thrust his cock into me with slow in and out movements. When he was going in he'd press his pelvis so tightly against my backside that it felt like he was trying to flatten me.

"Does it hurt?" He whispered into my left ear with another thrust between each word. It was like,

"Does" (Thrust),

"it" (Thrust),

"hurt?" (Thrust).

Despite his hand over my mouth I could have spoken, but didn't, at least not right away.

"I'll (Thrust),

stop (Thrust),

if (Thrust),

it (Thrust),

hurts (Thrust)."

He then made a growling-grunting sound that reminded me of a sleeping grizzly bear yawning.

"Oh Simon! (Thrust, Thrust, Thrust),

This (Thrust),

this (Thrust),

this (Thrust)..."

I'm not sure if he was stuttering or unable to say more; either way I didn't care, `cause I was very much enjoying having him inside of me.

"This (Thrust),

is (Thrust),

amazing (Thrust)!"

His pace began to quicken as he tried to say something else.

"I (Thrust, Thrust, Thrust),

can't (Thrust, Thrust, Thrust),

believe (Thrust, Thrust, Thrust),

this!" (Thrust, Thrust, Thrust, Thrust, Thrust, Thrust, Thrust...)

He was humping me so fast now that I was sure we were going to extemporaneously burst into flames at any second.

Both of his hands were now on my shoulders, he was arching himself almost as though he were trying to get his penis even farther into me.

A moment or two later, he grunted out, "I'm about to...!" and that is all he got out as he began to pull himself out of my ass.

When I realized he wasn't going to cum inside of me a sudden panic that I cannot explain overcame me. I reached back, not even thinking, and grabbed his butt cheeks to force him to stay inside.

He must have got the message `cause he slammed himself into me so forcefully that he drove the air right out of me. I felt him exploding within me, with a power I found surprising from someone of Lowell's size. I actually felt his cum spraying my insides. Each time I felt him blast me; I had a full body shiver.

He continued to moan softly as he became catatonic and fell on me, driving his chin into my shoulder. But I didn't care `cause I was still lost in the moment. His penis stabbed one last time, causing one more shiver and I finally gasped. Only then did I realize that I had been holding my breath. When I let it out, he did too but his was louder, like a semi-truck releasing its air-brakes. I then could feel his chest heaving hard and fast against my back and his hot breath on my face. He was breathing like he'd just run a marathon and in a weird way it made me feel good to hear him breathing so hard.

We lay like that for a while with him still inside of me. It was like we had somehow merged into one being. We were breathing in and out at the same time and it felt like our hearts were beating in rhythm too.

He started rubbing his right cheek against my left cheek and making rising and lowering in tone humming sounds. After a minute or so of this he began to start humping me again. At first I thought he was just playing, but then his pace quickened more and more. I couldn't believe that after coming only about four or five minutes ago, he was ready for round two.

I was already exhausted but once he started going again I soon got back into `the mood' with renewed passion. This time it took longer for him to climax which was just fine with me. I'll also add that it wasn't for lack of trying on his part either. This second go around made the first time seem loving and gentle in comparison. He was ramming his sweaty pelvis against my bottom with what seemed to be all his strength. We were so sweaty that it felt like he was sliding all over my back. With each pounding thrust I slid forward an inch or two so that by the time he finally blew his second load into my bowels; my head was smashed against the back wall of the tent.

There was no talking, no grunts, and no sounds at all, other than his sweat covered body slamming against mine. It sounded like muted clapping.

And when he finally climaxed, he placed his hands on my shoulder blades and arched his back as I felt him pump his boy juices once, twice, three more times. Like before, I could feel his boy juices splashing inside of me.

He collapsed with a long, hard exhale and finally with a wet sounding `POP', he withdrew from my now raw, gaping hole. When his penis popped out I almost felt like begging him to put it back in; but then he kissed my ear and whispered what to me sounded like the most loving two words I have ever heard in my life.

"Roll over."

I know what you are thinking... how on earth does "Roll over" sound like the two most loving words ever? Well you had to be there to understand.

I hadn't even thought about my own penis at all while Lowell had been making love to me. However, as he rolled off me and I started to flip myself over onto my back, I realized that I was so hard that my penis was throbbing with each beat of my heart. It was actually so hard that it was painful.

Then, with no warning at all, he dove down and consumed my small rod, boyish-gems, and sack with one big slurp.

How do I describe how that felt? It was like a wet-fire had engulfed my throbbing, aching boyhood. And at the same time I could feel his boy juices oozing out of my well used boy hole.

He pulled his mouth off and blew on my penis like he was trying to blow out a cake filled with birthday candles. It was so cold but then I gulped in a lungful as I felt him suck me into his mouth again and suck on it like he was some sort of industrial vacuum.

I think I may have had a whole seven seconds before my entire body began to convulse like it had last night. Let me tell you that seven seconds can, like it did just then, feel like an eternity! With my hands on the back of his head, crushing his face against my private parts, I tried to get more of myself into his mouth as this unbelievable force took over my body. I remember a pain behind my eyes, a flash of pure white light and thinking for a split second that I was going to die right there in that tent with my penis in Lowell's mouth.

After the best of it subsided he moved up and kissed me so soft and lovingly on the lips.

Breaking the kiss for a moment he whispered softly, "I love you so, so, so, so, very much, Simon!"

"Did I shoot?" I whimpered.

His kiss told me that I hadn't. Of course I already knew that I couldn't shoot sperm anymore. But I couldn't help thinking that if anything or anyone could have made me shoot, it would have been Lowell and it would have been right then; `cause I am here to tell you that no one in the history of humankind has ever felt as good as I had just then.

And then I began to uncontrollably laugh.

"What's so funny?" he asked, sounding a little upset.

"You must love me! You just sucked my pee covered wiener!"

He laughed and tried to kiss me but we were both laughing too hard.

"Know what?" I asked.

"What?" he asked.

"I think I am the luckiest guy on the planet!"

"Why?" he asked.

"`Cause I have the best, most amazing, wonderful, awesome, boyfriend in the whole world!"

At me calling him my boyfriend I felt him suck in a quick breath.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Really, really!" I told him.

Now he began to cry.

"Are you crying?"

"Shut up!" he moaned and buried his face in my neck.

I reached down and tickled his butt cheek.

"Eeeeep!" he shrieked as I felt his butt clench.

"Sssssssstooooooooooop!" He whined.

We lay like that for a while. Every so often I would feel his butt cheek relax and I'd tickle it again which would make him clench up tight again.

After a while of this he began to giggle.

"What you laughing at?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said defensively, "I'm just happy!"

"I wish we could stay like this forever!" I said.

I never should have said those words because I think those who are in charge of our fates decided to intervene.

I might also add that, had I known the events that would transpire over the coming two days, I don't think I would have ever left that tent.

"HELLO IN THE CAMP!" a very loud, unfamiliar male voice came over what sounded like a bull horn.

Lowell and I sat bolt up in the tent.

"Who's that?" he asked with alarm.

"Now how the heck am I supposed to know that?" I snapped back real snotty like. Of course I was only teasing.

Lowell started to scamper for the tent opening but I grabbed him.

"Hey butt for brains!" I said softly but sternly.

He looked back at me with a big, giant question mark hanging over his head.

"Forgetting something?" I asked.

The question mark grew larger.

"Diapers?!" I said as though trying to plant the word like a seed within his brain.

He was on all fours and dropped his head so that he was looking under himself at his shrunken, naked boyhood. I think that was when it finally occurred to him that we were both naked, and covered in a clammy layer of urine and sweat.

He flopped over and was sitting Indian style with his hands covering his shame as worry lines appeared on his forehead.

I couldn't help but laugh. I mean he'd just made love to me... twice! And then blew me, but it took that very second for his brain to wake up enough to realize the situation the two of us were in.

"Oh no Simon!?" Lowell moaned.

We then heard BJ's father shout, "AHOY ON THE BOAT!"

It turned out to be the Coast Guard. I know this because they announced who they were over their bull horn.

Probably faster than either of us had ever diapered another, we were both back into last night's cold, wet diapers and my plastic pants were snapped over my diaper.

"What about our sleeping bags?" Lowell moaned.

"I have an idea." I said.

When I didn't tell him my idea right away he gave my shoulder a push.

"Simon what?!"

"It is probably wet and muddy outside from all the rain," I said with no idea just how accurate that assumption was, "So we wrap our sleeping bags around us like we are trying to stay warm. I'll go out first, and pretend to slip and fall in the mud."

Lowell had caught on to my plan and in that oh so cute way he does when he gets excited, he began to talk real fast, "Then I do it too!"

"Exactly!" I said, "And we can then take them down to the river, dunk them in the water and say we were washing the mud off."

"My diaper won't stay tapped!" Lowell complained as he kept trying to press the tape back on.

"I know how to fix it." I said.

"How?!" he asked, still very much caught up in the excitement of the moment.

I folded my legs under me so that I was again kneeling before him. I then reached out, took hold of either side of his head, and then leaned forward. I placed my lips against his and the two of us kissed deeply and passionately.

After our lips parted he smiled this really cute, puzzled smile that was so cute it made my heart ache.

"How is that supposed to help my diaper stay taped on?" he asked.

I shrugged, "Guess it didn't work after all."

He laughed and gave me a shove. "You are such a dork!"

I fell backward laughing as he dove on top of me and kissed me again.

All through Lowell and my conversation and our lip wrestling, BJ's father had been having his own conversation with the Coast Guard. They must have moved closer `cause they were no longer using their bull horn. They had been going up the river checking on ships and barges that had to throw down anchor in the middle of the river during the storm when they spotted our tents. They were making sure we were alright and that everyone survived the storm. They offered to take us back up river, but then we heard Lowell's father assuring them that we were fine and thanked them for the offer.

"Soon as the Coast Guard leaves we'll go out." I told Lowell.

"Good idea!"

We waited and listened. Once we were sure they were gone, Lowell and I wrapped out pee soaked sleeping bags around our shoulders like capes and jumped out of the tent. I was supposed to go first, but we both went out together; the plan had also been to fall in the mud almost right away, however we both stopped dead in our tracks when we saw the devastation around us.

The entire camp site looked like it had been hit by a hurricane. The water, which had been a fair distance from our tents last night, had risen so high that it was less than ten feet from Lowell's and my tent, which had been the one on the lowest and narrowest area. Bushes and trees around us had been nearly stripped of their leaves, grasses lay flat against the ground and everything was a wet, soupy, muddy, gloppy, mess!

"Whoa!" Lowell exclaimed while scanning the devastation.

"Holy muddy catastrophes Batman!" I cried out.

It was very hard to do so, but Lowell and I had moved near the water's edge. In our bare feet, every step was like walking on oiled glass. If we weren't sinking in the mud, we were slipping and sliding on it.

"Morning boys!" Mr. Otteranski said to us.

We'd been so taken aback by the devastation that neither one of us had saw Mr. Otteranski yet. At the sound of his voice we both jumped and then...

SPLASH!

We lost our footing and fell into the water.

"COLD! COLD!" I shouted and was out of the water in a flash but Lowell had stupidly tried to keep hold of his sleeping bag and was grabbed by the rapidly flowing waters.

BJ's father rushed over and was helping Lowell out of the water. At first he looked real worried, but then he began to laugh at the two of us. We were covered in mud and soaked with cold river water.

"I'M AWAKE NOW!" Lowell bellowed loudly while laughing, and shivering.

I then noticed Lowell was naked and lost control of myself. I fell backward into the mud laughing so hard I couldn't do more than point at Lowell's shriveled, and mud covered doodle-rod.

"You swam right out of your diaper!" I said while pointing.

The ruckus we had made brought out Lowell's father again.

"Who fell in?" he asked even before he was all the way out of the tent.

"Daaaaaaddddddddyyyyyy! Simon pushed me in the rrrrrriiiivvvvvvverrrrrrr!" Lowell whined.

"Oh you little liar!" I cried out and would have probably shoved him into the mud had I been able to stand up.

He was laughing and shivering but still lent me a hand to help me stand up again. Back on my feet I was shivering too.

Reverend Vandoan had appraised the situation quickly and had ducked back into their tent. He came out with their sleeping bags. We were made to sit side-by-side by the water logged fire pit as Lowell's father wrapped us together with first one sleeping bag and then the other over top of the first.

"Leave it to you two numbskulls to go swimming this early!" he teased us, "Now sit there and get warm!"

Lowell then said, using his baby voice, "I need a diaper daddy!"

"What happened to yours?" he asked.

He whined, "The river ate it for breakfast!"

At the "...for breakfast" part I had snuck my hand under the sleeping bags and gave Lowell's frozen boyhood a squeeze which made his voice go really high and loud.

It was funny and I guess the dad type guys thought I had poked or pinched him. I wonder what would have happened if they knew what I'd really done. I am so bad!

Mr. Otteranski held up Lowell's and my very wet sleeping bags and announced triumphantly, "I saved their bags!"

"I'll get you both dry and diapered." Reverend Vandoan said while messing up Lowell's already messed up hair.

Mr. Otteranski had started to duck back into the big tent when he stopped and looking back to us asked, "Either of you got dirty bottoms?"

We both shook our heads from side-to-side.

He was out of sight less than a minute before he re-emerged with an arm load of dry wood but no diapers.

I'm not sure why, but it was at that very second that I realized an entire tree was missing.

"Wow! Look, that big tree is gone!" I pointed out.

The other three looked where I was pointing which was funny `cause my pointing hand was cloaked beneath the sleeping bags.

"Well I'll be! I hadn't realized!" Reverend Vandoan commented.

"I would like to know where the heck that storm came from!" Mr. Otteranski exclaimed with more than a hint of anger to his words! "There was absolutely nothing on the weather forecast about the slightest chance of rain until the end of the week."

"I suppose we should be grateful that the canoes are still here." Reverend Vandoan said.

Mr. Otteranski then added, "But the cooler is gone."

The cooler had been tied up in the tree that was now missing. They had put it up in the tree to keep local wide life from coming into the camp and stealing our food while we slept.

"The fishing stuff is gone too." Mr. Otteranski added while focusing on getting a fire started.

"Think you'll be able to get that going?" Reverend Vandoan asked Mr. Otteranski.

"Well I should be able too; thanks to your smart thinking last night to bring the firewood into the tent." Mr. Otteranski answered.

Reverend Vandoan disappeared into their tent and came back out a minute later with two disposable diapers. One was tucked under his arm while he was doing something with the other.

I figured out what he was doing when he told his son to stand up and step into the diaper. He'd already taped it together like a pair of briefs. Once they were pulled up he adjusted the tapes to make it tighter. He did the same for me. Our feet and legs were muddy but that didn't seem to matter right then. He was more concerned with getting us diapered and warm. Cleanliness wasn't a high priority.

With a bit of effort Mr. Otteranski was able to get the wet part of the fire pit cleaned out and got a fire started. And before too long there was a big, crackling fire.

"Oh that feels good!" Lowell said as he abandoned the sleeping bag and was standing closer to the fire.

"Don't get too close!" I teased, "You're diaper isn't fire proof!"

Lowell turned his head like an owl and made a really strained expression before saying, "It is now!"

I couldn't help but laugh at knowing he forced himself to flood the diaper.

About then Jamie emerged from the other tent looking like a walking zombie. The very first thing I noticed about him was the fact that he wasn't wearing one of his Pull-Up diapers, he had on one of the thick disposable night diapers like Lowell and I wore to bed last night. I don't think he was awake yet `cause he didn't seem to be aware of the extra bulk between his legs. Then again maybe he knew... maybe he had asked for the diaper in the night? Or maybe he had wet his Pull-Up so much that Lowell's father suggested the diaper, just for last night?

I looked up to his sleepy face and noticed his hair resembled a bird's nest and his diaper hung so low that it was astonishing that it hadn't fallen off his hips.

"Good Morning." Reverend Vandoan said cheerily to Jamie but received no response.

Jamie vigorously rubbed the eye-boogers from his eyes as he walked over to the fire and plopped himself down right beside me.

"Someone's not awake yet." I teased as I wrapped the sleeping bag around him.

It took a couple minutes before he was awake enough to speak. His first words were addressed to Lowell who was still standing by the fire, slowly rotating from front to back to warm all parts of him.

"Why are you so muddy?" he asked Lowell.

"`Cause Simon pushed me into the river!" Lowell said.

I laughed, "Stop telling people that!"

Mr. Otteranski asked Lowell, "Boy, what have you been taught about lying?"

Without missing a beat Lowell replied with, "Not to get caught!"

From out of nowhere a clump of seaweed smacked Lowell right upside the head.

"Eeeeeeeeeewwwwww!" Lowell cried out as he flung the wet, slimy mess to the ground with a squish.

Mr. Otteranski and I laughed when we looked down by the boats and saw Lowell's father with another handful of seaweed and pointing at his son warningly. Jamie didn't laugh `cause he was still trying to shake off the effects of his medication.

Jamie looked at me through sleepy eyes and without a comment about the seaweed he pulled the sleeping bag up over his head, leaned over and started to rest his head on my shoulder. However, when my wet hair had touched his face he groaned loudly and pulled away from me.

"Eyooooowwwwwweeeeee you're all wet too!"

"Reverend Vandoan threw us both in the water to wake us up." I said loud enough to be heard by Lowell's dad.

I saw the clump of seaweed arching through the air. I yanked the sleeping bag from off my brother's head and pulled him over so that the slimy, wet glop hit him instead.

I felt so bad after `cause I made him hurt himself when he tried to back hand me in the gut. I ended up holding him and apologizing for the longest time. He just kept calling me a butthead!

"Okay, how did you really get so wet?" he eventually asked.

"We slipped and fell in the river." I told him, "It is very cold and will wake you up instantly."

He snorted, "That was dumb."

Lowell, who had fallen down laughing when Jamie got hit with the seaweed, was now standing bent over trying to wipe as much of the mud off himself as he could.

He then added, "I don't recommend falling in the river. It's colder than yesterday by like a gazillion degrees.

"HEY!" he exclaimed when he suddenly noticed the devastation about us, "What happened?"

His head was spinning around and around on his shoulders trying to take in the destruction the storm had caused.

BJ's father was piling some bigger pieces of wood on the fire and laughed at how Jamie had just noticed everything and told him about last night's storm.

"Do you even remember waking up last night when you hurt your arm?" I asked.

Jamie thought for a moment before shaking his head.

"Wish I had taken a couple of your pills!" Reverend Vandoan commented, "I didn't get a single wink of sleep last night."

"Whoa!" I exclaimed and shared a knowing eye contact with Lowell.

I am sure he was wondering the same thing I was. Did Reverend Vandoan hear us making love last night or this morning? If he had, he was doing a real good job of keeping his feelings on the subject hidden from us.

"Did you sleep any?" Jamie asked me.

Lowell diverted his eyes to the fire as he struggled to hide a smile.

Now I wasn't about to tell anyone that Lowell and I were up most of the night, and again this morning, making love. So I just nodded my head and said, "A few hours I think. But I don't feel tired at all."

Mr. Otteranski had left the fire and slipped into their tent. He was gone for a while before coming out fully dressed. It was only then that I realized that all along he'd been running around wearing only a pair of white boxer shorts.

"What's for breakfast?" Jamie asked.

"Seeing how the cooler and poles are gone, about all that's left is tree bark and mud." Reverend Vandoan laughed.

Despite my wet hair Jamie leaned over and rested his head against mine. I think he may have dozed off for a few minutes too. But he woke up again when the fire popped real loud, almost as loud as a fire cracker.

Lowell pretended to be shot and grabbed his tummy, "Oooooh! Right in my scapula!"

"What's a scapula?" Jamie asked.

Lowell shrugged, "Heck if I know."

Reverend Vandoan then complained, "I can't believe this mud!"

We all looked toward him coming up from the boats; it looked like he was wearing mud boots. His feet, ankles, and lower legs were covered in mud.

And suddenly Jamie made the funniest sound. He'd finally figured out that he wasn't wearing a Pull-Up diaper, like he had on before he went to sleep last night.

He pulled the sleeping bag open and exclaimed loudly, "WHY AM I WEARING A DIAPER?!"

"You got scared last night during the storm and needed changed." Was Reverend Vandoan's simple explanation.

Now I knew he meant that my brother had got so scared by that boom of thunder, that had made him hurt himself last night, that he'd crapped himself, but I didn't say anything. I think that Lowell had figured that out for himself too, but also had the decency not to say anything.

Jamie's response to this news was to look down at the very wet, bulging diaper, shrug his shoulders and say, "Oh!"

He then covered himself back up and snuggled back against me.

Mr. Otteranski was about to put another big piece of wood onto the fire which was going real good now but Lowell begged him to let him put it on.

"Don't get burned!" he told Lowell.

"Yeah or we're going to eat you!" I said.

"I'd rather eat mud!" Jamie snorted.

When Lowell tossed it a bit too hard, sparks jumped and danced high over the fire and shot out like little roman candles.

"WHOA!" Mr. Otteranski laughed and pulled Lowell backwards away from the leaping flame. "Are you trying to kill my fire?"

I sang out with, "FIRE MURDERER!"

Lowell, adopting his innocent little boy face, pouted and whined, "I didn't mean too!"

Jamie moaned, "Oh brother!"

I knew that act of Lowell's all too well.

"Lowell! You are about as innocent as Manson!"

"How do you know about Manson?" Mr. Otteranski asked me.

"I read books!" I announced proudly.

Jamie pulled away and looked at me with big questioning eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"I didn't know you could read." He said.

I narrowed my eyes warningly.

"What?" he asked with a big grin.

"Really? You want to go there? Hmm toaster boy?" I sneered.

He knew I was talking about how a toaster had scared him so bad that he fell and broke his arm. So trying to change the subject he asked, "Hey! Where's BJ?"

"Think we should wake BJ?" I ask no one in particular.

"Wait!" Lowell said, "Let's do it together."

I was all for it, but Jamie didn't want to leave the warmth of the sleeping bag.

Glad to be able to mess with BJ I readily abandoned my warm cocoon. As soon as I had left my coverings behind, I realized why Lowell was staying so close to the fire. With all that wet mud on my body, the air felt extra-extra cold. Lowell and I crawled into the middle tent, knelt on either side of BJ, put our faces within inches of his nose and gave him a soft shake.

"BJ WAKE UP!" we shouted together as loud as we could.

His eyelids flew open and he jumped like we'd stabbed him.

"AAAAAHHHHH!!!!" he cried and did a sort of crab walk out from under us.

He collided with the back wall of the tent with such force that it caused the whole tent to collapse on the three of us.

I'm sure the over saturated ground outside had probably played into this as the tent stakes must have pulled right out of the wet, soupy mess.

Lost within the nylon tent fabric Lowell and I laughed our heads off while tickling BJ who was still in that scary place between sleep and being shocked back into the waking world.

Lowell and I managed to escape the confines of the tent, leaving BJ in there alone. We got extra muddy in the process of getting out but it was worth it. BJ continued to struggle inside the tent for a few seconds before giving up and falling silent and motionless.

"You still alive in there, son?" Mr. Otteranski sang out.

"NO!" he shouted, which sent all of us into fits of laughter.

"I'm going to get you guys back... if I ever get out of here!"

Jamie had taken over tending the fire from Mr. Otteranski, who had gone into the big tent to get more firewood.

BJ soon emerged from the collapsed tent and ended up covered in mud too, `cause he crawled from the tent.

"Oh man it is worse in the daylight." He said while looking around.

"You were out last night?" I asked.

"Had to pee!" he said.

"Told you, you should have worn a diaper!" Lowell teased.

BJ joined Lowell and I beside the fire laughing and trying to warm up again.

"You three look like Aboriginal children!" Mr. Otteranski laughed.

"I feel like a mud pie!" I laughed.

"I'm freezing!" BJ moaned.

"It was worth getting cold again." Lowell laughed.

I agreed and poked BJ.

"Stop dork!" BJ complained.

Every time Lowell and I stop laughing one of us would see BJ's attempt to maintain an expression of disdain and we would lose it again.

We carried on like that while trying to get warm again.

"Man I got mud in my skivvies!" BJ moaned while looking down inside his swim trunks which were all he was wearing.

"You can go jump in the river!" Lowell laughed.

BJ left the fire and went over to the boats where his father and Reverend Vandoan were now standing and talking.

A moment later he came running up from where we had tied off the canoes and exclaimed, "Everything is gone!"

"No duh!" Lowell said to him.

"The storm took all the food." He exclaimed as if we didn't understand that `Everything' meant `Everything'.

"We already know." I laughed.

Jamie jumped in with, "You are behind the times. We've all been up for ages."

"Ages!" I snorted.

After having our dinner last night, we had all worked together to tie Para Cord to the cooler and then hoist it up a tree. Apparently, we picked the wrong tree `cause by morning both the tree and the cooler had vanished.

"Think a bear got it?" BJ asked.

"More likely the tree, being so close to the river had a poor root hold on the land around it. Add a major wind and rain storm coupled with the weight of our cooler and well..." BJ's father offered.

"We can fish!" BJ said.

"No we can't! The poles were leaning against that tree." BJ's dad says.

"There's no food?" Jamie moaned.

"I say we go back to the idea of eating Lowell!" I said.

BJ shook his head, "Nah, he's too scrawny. We'd be better off eating one of our dads."

Reverend Vandoan, while laughing pretty hard said, "It is bad luck to eat a Holy Man!"

"Yeah and my dad is mostly fat!" BJ added.

"HEY!" Mr. Otteranski shouted which made everyone laugh.

"Guess that means we eat either BJ or Simon!" Lowell said.

I had the dirtiest thought right then but didn't dare say what I was thinking. Basically it was about Lowell already trying to eat my wiener!

"We could try making spears to harpoon the fish with?" BJ suggest.

"I dare say none of us are at a risk of starving to death if we go without breakfast. We're only about three or four hours from where we're supposed to meet up with Brad and Bry.

"Wish there was a Kitchen 1331 right over there!" BJ whined as he rubbed his empty, growling tummy.

"We could paddle up river to the Banachelli for breakfast." I said as a joke that fell completely flat.

"Holy diaper snacks! Are you serious?" Jamie asked.

Unable to believe he'd just said `Holy diaper snacks' I asked, "Holy diaper snacks? Really Bro?"

Jamie shrugged and held out his hands as if waiting to receive something, "What?"

Chuckling, BJ asked, "What is a diaper snack?"

Lowell rolled up onto his knees and held his hands in the official beggar's pose, "Wait, you have snacks?"

I gave Lowell a shove so that he fell over again as Reverend Vandoan asked Jamie, "More importantly, what makes a diaper snack sanctified?"

"Hey you better share those snacks or else?" Lowell warned as he tried to push himself up, but using my bare foot I pushed him over again.

"What does `sanctified' mean?" BJ asked.

Jamie, addressing the Reverend said, "I'd think you would be the authority on the blessing of diaper type snacks!"

I chuckled at what Jamie just said to Lowell's father and told him, "Bro! That was good!"

"Wait," Jamie said to me while screwing up his face and squinting one eye, "you really want to row up the river just to eat at the Banachelli? We'd die of hunger before we got there!"

"You are not allowed on the Banachelli!" Lowell said as he tried to get up again.

I pushed him down once more while telling Jamie, "Uh, I was kidding!"

Laughing hard, Lowell exclaimed loudly, "Simon, stop!"

Reverend Vandoan then pointed at BJ and then right at me while addressing BJ. "You, go sit on Simon!"

While sprawled on the ground Lowell laughingly growled, "Yeah! We should all sit on Simon!"

Jamie laughed and said, "YEAH!! Dog pile on Simon!"

BJ held up both hands and shouted "Everyone stop! No one gets to sit on Simon! I don't want diaper gravy all over him if we're going to cook him for breakfast!"

I let out a high pitched, "Eeek!" and held up two fingers in the shape of a cross.

"We're not vampires! That won't work on us!" Jamie laughed.

Lowell hissed though and held up an arm to try to shield himself from my crossed fingers.

Jamie surrendered, "Okay, Lowell might be dead but..."

He suddenly stopped when he realized he'd accidentally wandered into a dangerous area with his words.

He looked down at the fire and sighed, "Sorry."

To break the tension I laughed and said, "It's cool bro!" to which Jamie smiled a bit.

Right then Mr. Otteranski said to his son, "Why don't you take these three and go see if the storm got to those berries."

Apparently this was something the two of them knew something about that the rest of us were not privileged too.

Jamie shook his head, "I'm gonna stay here if that's okay. Besides, I need to get cleaned up."

"Sure! I could use your help breaking camp." Reverend Vandoan said while patting my brother's head.

I knew the real reason Jamie didn't want to go. I had noticed he was babying his broken arm a lot this morning and knew he must be in pain, but unwilling to let anyone know.

Lowell and I both slipped our shoes on without socks and after BJ suggested we put on shirts and shorts to help protect us from getting scratched, we did that too.

The part of our camp area where BJ had got past the thorn bushes last night to go poop, was now flooded so we couldn't go that way. However, BJ's dad had produced a machete from one of the canoes and given it to BJ.

"Whoa!" Lowell exclaimed at seeing the huge knife, "Nice sword!"

"It's a machete dork!" I said.

"What's a machete-dork?" Lowell laughed.

Turning to the others I asked, "Seriously, can't we just cook him?!"

BJ used it to make a path, for we three, to hike through the bushes. Thankfully the storm had knocked over much of the ground cover, grass, and weeds; so it wasn't that bad. It was actually fun hiking behind BJ as he chopped at stuff that really didn't need to be chopped.

Lowell was in the middle of us and kept telling BJ to chop this, and whack that. BJ took delight in swinging that blade at everything Lowell pointed too.

As we hiked further inland and uphill, the devastation got less and less and there was more and more greenery. The trees were also getting bigger, both in girth and height. It was starting to feel and look less like a wooded area and more like a jungle.

"How much farther?" Lowell asked.

"Are you getting tired already?" BJ laughed.

"No but Simon is." He complained for me.

"Am not! I love this!" I said.

We were going up a fairly steady incline and I will admit it was making my legs strain a bit, but not too much. Actually, all the hiking was giving me time to think. I had remembered that I was supposed to do devotions and calisthenics in the mornings. Well, what is better for calisthenics than climbing up the side of a huge wooded mountainside? Okay, maybe it isn't a mountain, but tell that to my legs!

"Pee break!" BJ sang out.

I laughed, "We don't need to take a break to pee!"

"Well I do!" BJ laughed.

"Wanna borrow my diaper?" I asked to which I got a sneer from BJ and a laugh from Lowell.

BJ sank the machete into the trunk of a fallen tree.

Right there he whipped out his penis and peed on that same tree.

"Whoa!" Lowell exclaimed at seeing BJ's trouser snake.

BJ peed for a long time and `cause I was last in line I wasn't able to see what Lowell was witnessing but then again I didn't have any desire to see BJ's junk. I mean I've seen it before. Oh sure maybe not since he's grown so much, but a penis is a penis is a penis right?

Yeah, I totally cannot believe I just wrote that. I've seen my share of tally-whackers and I'm here to tell you that dogs, they come in a multitude of shapes, sizes, and colors.

God, I am so glad no one reads my journals anymore. I think I would die if I knew someone just read what I wrote up there!

"Okay, it's not too much farther." BJ announced as he struggled to get the machete out of the tree trunk.

"I think we might be in luck!" he said as the three of us reached a large flat area with a break in the tree canopy above us.

Suddenly we stopped when BJ crouched down and hushed us. Thinking there was a bear or something, Lowell froze dead still. I actually bumped into him before I realized something was up.

Whispering real soft BJ commanded, "Get down."

Lowell and I squatted right there behind BJ. I had no idea what the heck was going on until I heard the gobble of a turkey.

Unexpectedly BJ popped up, threw the machete and then took off running sideways across the hill toward where he had thrown the machete. Lowell and I popped up and watched as he leapt and ran like a deer. About ten yards away he stopped as he bent over.

"WOAH!" Lowell cried out when BJ held up a wild turkey by its feet.

"BJ that was incredible." I shouted.

"I can't believe that worked!" he was saying and leaping back toward us.

I've known BJ a long time and since he entered puberty, he has become the most uncoordinated person on the planet. Any other time he wouldn't be able to hit the ground if he fell; so hitting that wild turkey with a flying machete was just about the most remarkable thing I'd ever seen him do.

"Let's go show the others!" Lowell was saying and bouncing almost as much as BJ with excitement.

"Can we see if there are berries too?" I asked, "I mean turkey and berries would be a good breakfast!"

BJ said he needed to gut the bird first which was gross. Lowell got into it and was digging the guts out with his bare hands. I guess all the time he spent in Fyer's kitchen had desensitized him to that sort of grossness. Me? I just watched and tried not to puke. BJ was ripping the feathers out and tossing them all into a pile. When they were done they dug a whole with the machete to bury the guts, feathers, and blood.

"Don't want to be attracting bears or wolves or Sasquatch to our camp!" BJ said with a laugh.

"Yeah, a Sasquatch might take one look at you and want to mate with you." Lowell said.

I laughed at that mental picture.

We then went a little ways farther up and found the wild black berries that BJ's father had sent us to get.

None of us had the forethought to bring something to put the berries in so Lowell stripped off his shirt and we used it as a makeshift berry basket. We picked as many berries as the three of us could and then headed back down.

We made real good time heading back and when we sprang back into the camp area we found all three tents had been taken down and packed into the boats.

BJ lead us back and came in holding the turkey high over his head while whooping, "LOOKY WHAT WE SCORED!"

Lowell held up his big bundle of berries and sang out, "TURKEY AND BERRIES!"

I then stole the line from TV, "It's what's for breakfast!"

"How'd you manage to bag a turkey?" Mr. Otteranski asked with pride as he headed toward us.

"OH Daddy you should have seen him! He threw the machete and hit that turkey!" Lowell said while dancing on his tiptoes across the mud.

"Halleluiah! Halleluiah! It looks like we won't be going down river with empty bellies after all!" Reverend Vandoan cheered.

Mr. Otteranski gave BJ a hug and patted his back.

"Son you constantly surprise me!"

"I surprised myself!" BJ said back.

BJ's father took the turkey and cut it up while the rest of us made sticks to roast the bits of turkey meat; sort of like roasting hotdogs on sticks. While the meat cooked, we all munched on berries.

As we were enjoying our turkey and berry meal, I started to notice Jamie wasn't looking too well.

"You alright bro?" I asked.

Reverend Vandoan answered for him, "He's fine, but I had to give him one of his happy pills."

"Happy pills!" Lowell snorted with a mouth full of berries.

"My arm was hurting." Jamie said with just a bit of a slur to his words.

"Are you going to be able to row?" I asked.

"Nah, we'll stuff him into the middle of one of the canoes." Mr. Otteranski said.

"Or we could strap a few extra life vests to him and use him as a third boat!" I teased.

"I won't miss the mud!" Lowell said as he tried to squeeze a glob of mud out from between his toes.

________________

Lowell's father issued the following command. "Come on; let's get whatever didn't get washed away in the storm, packed up. We can then get all you boys into clean, dry diapers."

BJ sang out... "NOT ME!"

"Then you best get busy mister!" BJ's father said which made the rest of us laugh.

"Simon, Lowell, Jamie, how about if you three run down to the river and take a fast bath while the three of us pack up and put out the fire?" The Reverend suggested.

"Why can't I go swimming?" BJ whined.

"Did you pee the bed last night?" Reverend Vandoan asked sarcastically.

"If I say yes can I go swimming too?" BJ asked.

I popped up from the log I had been sitting on, "Only if you wear a diaper the rest of the day too!"

Jamie and Lowell fell on the muddy ground laughing. BJ simply blushed about as red as a person can.

We three diaper boys headed down to the water near the canoes. Like I said before the water was cold so we only dunked our hands in and basically gave ourselves a sponge bath.

The others were trying to get the mud from their hair with their hands and not doing well. I, on the other hand, adopted a different strategy. Before I even bothered to clean my body, I knelt down and dunked my head into the water all the way.

When I pulled my head out I exclaimed loudly, "WOOOOOOOOOO-BABY THAT'S COLD STUFF!"

I shook my head like a dog. After they saw what I did they decided to do the same.

"HO HO HO HO HOOOOOOOO BABY!" Lowell cried out when he came up out of the water.

Jamie started to dunk his head but right before he knelt down he changed his mind, ripped off his diaper and jumped into the river butt naked.

He was in the water about three seconds and right hand to God, that brother of mine hopped straight up out of the water and ran on the surface back to land. He didn't stop running until he was beside the fire again.

Lowell and I had to washing all over again `cause we both had fallen over laughing at Jamie.

"Oh screw it!" I said and followed suit!

I quickly unsnapped my Rainbow Unicorn plastic pants, ripped my diaper off and then leapt out high and far. I hadn't really intended to do a belly flop into the water; that is just how it ended up. When I hit, that cold, cold water, it made me gasp. Unfortunately my face was submerged when I gasped. I came up coughing and choking. But like my brother I came right out of the water and ran to the fire.

Mr. Otteranski and Jamie were patting my back as I coughed and spit water into the fire.

"I said no drowning!" Mr. Otteranski said to me.

I couldn't talk so I nodded my head very animatedly while coughing.

Lowell must have decided to jump in too `cause when I looked across the fire he was jumping up and down and rubbing his hands all over his naked body to try to warm up again.

"You three are nuts!" BJ shouted at us.

"A minute ago you wanted to go in too!" Mr. Otteranski laughingly yelled at his son. He then added, "Go down there and pick up their dirty diapers."

"ME?" BJ scoffed.

He made a disgusted face and I couldn't help but laugh while I stood there shivering.

Reverend Vandoan draped towels over each of us to dry off while he laid fresh diapers for Lowell and I on one of the logs and a Pull-Up for my brother. He also laid our clothes down there and then deposited a fourth diaper on the log and gave BJ an evil eye.

"That shut him up!" I laughed as BJ took off to go gather up our used diapers.

"Laugh it up scar boy!" BJ sang out.

Simultaneously, both Lowell and Jamie exclaimed their disbelief that BJ had said something like that with long, suspenseful groanings.

I knew BJ hadn't meant his comment to be spiteful at all but the other's thought it was. So before his father could chastise him I shot back, "Oh please! You wish you looked this ruggedly handsome!"

Licking my thumb, I touched it to my naked backside and made a sizzling sound.

BJ rolled his eyes and leaned over to pick up my now muddy Rainbow Unicorn Plastic pants.

He hadn't seen his father charging at him so he was completely caught unprepared. With a powerful shove BJ flew like Superman out over the water. He hit the water like a skipping stone and I swear he bounced at least twice before going under.

"OOOOOOOOAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOO!!!" BJ bellowed when he came up out of the water.

"DAAAAAAD!" he cried out.

Mr. Otteranski was bent over with his hands on his knees laughing harder than I have ever seen him laugh.

BJ didn't come out of the water near as fast as the three of us had. I think his mad was keeping him warm. But when his father saw that BJ was coming closer to shore he turned and ran as far from the water as he could while laughing hysterically.

Lowell and Jamie were laughing hard too. I on the other hand had laughed so hard I started another laughing fit which then triggered something that I am never, ever, ever, ever, going to live down. I'd bent over laughing and coughing when a very wet and sloppy mess shot out of my rear end. I had great aim `cause my crap blast right into the fire; however both Lowell and Jamie saw and heard it. I thought I was going to die of embarrassment.

"That's enough boys!" Reverend Vandoan, laughing hysterically walked up to me and pulled my red, glowing face into his shirt and hugged me. I didn't even care that his hands were right on the back of my head, on my sore spot.

As soon as my face came into contact with his shirt, my embarrassment caused me to break into tears.

"Oh now! There is no need to be so upset." Reverend Vandoan said while putting a hand on my back and rubbing vigorously.

I am surprised I let him rub my bare, scarred back like that. I guess I was too embarrassed to even think about him touching my scars.

While I was dying of embarrassment and still coughing a little into his shirt, I could still hear the other's laughing.

Then Lowell moaned, "Maaaaaan! Now I got to wash again!"

I pulled my face away from Reverend Vandoan's shirt to see that Lowell had fallen over into the mud laughing.

"Serves you right!" Reverend Vandoan told him.

Despite myself I chuckled and then buried my face back in his shirt.

"That's it! Let it out!" he said and I could feel him chuckling.

"Don't laugh!" I moaned into his shirt.

That only made him chuckle harder.

"You want to go jump back in the river or you want me to clean you up?" he asked.

Shaking my head I said into his shirt, "I ain't getting in that water again!"

He gave my back a firm pat and said, "Then come on over by the log."

I saw BJ down at the river with Lowell.

"Uh," he started to say loudly, "I lost Simon's Unicorn pants when SOMEONE pushed me in the river!"

"Oh thank God!" I exclaimed loudly.

I hadn't even realized I thought those words until they were out of my mouth.

"Aaaah! Your parents will be so disappointed that you lost them." Reverend Vandoan teased.

I thrust a stiff finger into my bare chest, "I didn't lose noth'n!" I then swung my stiff finger out toward BJ, "That's all on BJ!"

"Nooooo!" BJ sang out almost like he was about to break out in some silly show tune. "It's my dad's fault!"

BJ then leaned over the water's edge to help Lowell out of the water only to push him back in again.

Lowell just had time to shout out, "BJ!" before he went under again.

This time he came up with both hands full of seaweed. BJ hadn't expected that and barely had time to turn before...

SPLAT!

The first clump hit him in the neck just below his ear. It struck him hard enough that it caused him to turn back toward Lowell just enough that the second clump of seaweed caught him right in the crotch.

It was so funny watching him first fold in half in slow motion, and then to rear up and fall back as the pain signals from his groin, had reached his brain. Still in slow motion he fell backward and landed on his butt with a huge, muddy `splooosh'.

Lowell threw up his hands like Rocky and cheered!

"BULLSEYE!"

BJ moaned and rolled onto his front.

I don't think he could have got more muddy if he had been actually trying too.

Lowell came out of the water and I figured he'd run straight for the fire but instead he ran over, rolled BJ onto his back and leaning over the moaning BJ he asked, "You did say you didn't want babies right?"

BJ tried to take a swing at Lowell, but it was so feeble and slow, that a sloth would have been able to dodge the hit.

Lowell giggled and danced on his tiptoes all the way over to the fire.

Mr. Otteranski, laughing his blooming head off, tried to help BJ up but as soon as BJ was on his feet his father pushed him into the river.

"Oh dear God that feels good on my balls."

"DON'T USE GOD'S NAME IN VAIN!" Lowell, Reverend Vandoan, and myself shouted as one.

"JINX!" Reverend Vandoan shouted so loud I jumped and would have fallen into the mud again had he not held me up. "You both are jinxed! No talking until someone says your name!"

So Lowell and I were forced to remain silent for a long time and let me tell you it was killing us both. The other's kept teasing us by acting like they were about to say our names only to say another word.

Reverend Vandoan smacked my bare bottom and said, "You are clean! So turn around Siiii-lently!"

I face palmed myself and he giggled.

BJ came running out of the water, ran up to the fire and threw his arm around a cringing Lowell.

"Your name is Lowwwww-down-dirty-rat!"

Lowell's head fell in disappointment and disgust. He knew we were doomed to suffer like this for a while.

To prolong our pain, Jamie laughing pointed at Lowell and said, "Call him Diaper Boy" and then he pointed at me and added, "and him Captain Diaper Pirate!"

I had a millisecond hope that given the reference to my past or the fact that calling Lowell Diaper Boy might make BJ or his father uncomfortable... sadly that wasn't the case.

Of course Captain Diaper Pirate would have been okay with me but they started using many variations on it.

"Put your shirt on Black Diaper Beard!"

"Don't forget your shoes Poopy Pirate!"

"Make sure all the dirty diapers are in one canoe, Captain Cotton Butt!"

And on and on they went.

With everything stowed and tied into the canoes and the fire drowned we were ready to set off. Lowell and I stood there by the boats putting on our life vests while waiting to be told who was going with whom.

"Alright, Jamie, why don't you get in the middle with BJ and me?" Mr. Otteranski suggested.

"That's it; get low in the boat. Atta-boy!" He said while wading out into the water a little to help steady the boat and my bother.

He took one of the sleeping bags which was inside a sealed plastic bag and stuffed it behind my brother for more comfort. Afterward he tied the bag to one of the canoes cross members so that if they happened to flip, they wouldn't have to worry about the sleeping bag floating away.

"Comfy?" he asked.

Jamie laughed and said, "Can you read me a story too?"

When he thrust a hand in the water and then wiped it on Jamie's face Jamie moaned, "EEEEWW!" as he wiped at his wet face.

Mr. Otteranski held the boat steady while his son climbed in then Lowell's dad went out and held it so Mr. Otteranski could get in without tipping the two of them over.

"See you down river!" BJ cheered while holding his oar high over his head.

We watched as the strong current caught them and launched them down river with surprisingly fast speed.

"Wow look at them go!" Reverend Vandoan commented, "With the river moving like that, we'll reach our get out point long before Brad and Bry are expecting us."

I started to ask if he could call them on his cellphone, but all I got out was a single, brief `C' sound when he turned and pointed a very stern finger at me.

"Aaaaah! No talking Jinx Boy!"

Lowell laughed silently while taking my Kayaking helmet and thrusting it into my gut.

I grunted and doubled over while narrowing my eyes at him. That only seemed to feed into his glee as he grinned from ear to ear.

"Who wants to be the lookout man?" Reverend Vandoan asked.

Lowell threw his hand way over his head and began to jump in place.

Since I was already bowing, I motioned with my hands for him to go right ahead and take the front spot in the canoe.

The Reverend and I held the boat while Lowell climbed in and it is good that we did `cause he would have flipped the boat for sure.

"Whoa there son! Take it easy!"

Once Mr. Excitement was settled, it was my turn to climb aboard. However right as I was about to climb in I had a thought. I paused in thought long enough for Reverend Vandoan to wonder if something was wrong.

"Everything alright my boy?" he asked me.

I held up a single finger to indicate I needed one minute. Standing ankle deep in the water I rummaged through my belongings and found the zip-lock baggy which contained my e-journal. I knew it was in there `cause I'd seen it yesterday after we'd made camp.

When I held it up Reverend Vandoan shot me a look that said he didn't approve me having brought along a computer. Of course I couldn't tell him that my mother had packed my stuff for me while I slept. Instead I mimed it and I must have done a good job because Reverend Vandoan let out a loud blasting belly laugh and said, "Get in the boat momma's boy!"

I fired off a cheesy grin and snorted as I muffled my giggles behind a hand.

He relented with a smile and a smack to my diapered bottom and commanded me with, "Get your padded backside into the boat Captain Nerd!"

I continued to laugh silently as I handed my e-journal to Lowell to hold while I climbed aboard. Once I was settled he did a beautiful back bend, arching almost inhumanly and stretched way back to hand it back to me.

Boy I wanted so powerfully to say something about that awesome backbend but sadly, I was jinxed and unable to speak.

Using my knees to hold the e-journal Lowell and I used our oars to keep the boat in place and steady while Lowell's father got in.

"Alright boys, I'm in! What say you, we catch up to the others? Oh wait; you can't say anything because I jinxed you!"

Lowell and I both turned and stuck our tongues out at his father which earned us a threatening gaze. Reverend Vandoan opened his eyes real wide, like he was trying to force his own eyeballs out.

I managed to make my eyes say what my mouth was unable to utter due to my jinx.

"What?"

I then silently chuckled.

"I'm trying to use my laser vision on the two of you!"

Lowell and I both quietly laughed at him as we turned around and dropped our oars into the water.

As we set off, Reverend Vandoan began to sing some old sounding Gospel Hymn. And each time he would sing the word `QUIET' he'd put lots of emphasis on it as a message to us that we couldn't talk.

There is a QUIET place

far from the rapid pace

where God can soothe my troubled mind.

Sheltered by tree and flower

there in my QUIET hour with him

my cares are left behind.

Whether a garden small,

or on a mountain tall

new strength and courage there I find,

and then from that QUIET place

I go prepared to face a new day

with love for all mankind.

Yes, there is a QUIET place

far from the rapid pace

where God can soothe my troubled mind.

While opening the zip-lock bag and retrieving the e-journal pen, I was also laughing to myself at his son. I could tell just from the back of Lowell's head he was having a laughing fit too. That or he was crying. I didn't know if it would work, but I resealed the zip-lock bag with my e-journal still inside and then pressed the power button.

Once it booted up, I opened my journal and tried to use the screen pen to write. Much to my joy it worked. Oh it was a little difficult as the plastic would make it miss some letters I typed, but thankfully that is what spell checker is for right? Then again, if you are still reading this TOM, maybe you can tell me if I have any badly spelled words.

I lost all track of time while writing. I can only tell you that I wrote about most of yesterday and today while almost lying flat in the canoe.

Reverend Vandoan had continued to sing one hymn after another and Lowell seemed to be in some sort of happy place as well.

"Simon! Put that away. We're going to need your help!" Reverend Vandoan said and I knew something was up by his tone. But then I realized he had just called my real name.

"HEY YOU SAID MY NAME!" I shouted as I wormed myself up to a sitting position.

"Hurry up and get your oar in the water. We need to get over to the right, fast."

I saw that probably five hundred or maybe even a thousand yards down river the other canoe was stopped near a huge fallen tree.

As we neared Jamie called out, "We found the tree from our camp site!"

BJ was out of the canoe and climbing through the downed tree which was hung up on another even bigger downed tree that was still half on the land with a root ball that was at least at tall as a four story building.

"Whoa look at the size of that sucker!" Lowell said and no one seemed to care that he was talking even though he hadn't been un-jinxed.

I had dropped my plastic covered e-journal into my lap and was helping to paddle us closer to the shore and the others.

"What are you doing?" Reverend Vandoan called after BJ who was climbing like a monkey through the branches.

"Getting the cooler!" His father said.

"That doesn't look safe!" the Reverend commented but it sounded more like a suggestion then a comment.

"GOT IT!" BJ sang out as he used the machete to cut the rope we'd used to tie it up in the tree yesterday.

"Just let it float down this way!" Reverend Vandoan commanded, "Atta-boy! We'll get it!"

BJ gave the large plastic chest an enormous, shove that shook the entire tree. It floated down toward the others, rolling and tumbling in the water. However the other's missed it and since we'd ended up down river from them it came toward us with a little bit of a scary speed. The current brought it right to us as it collided with the side of our canoe it hit with a loud thud and pushed us sideways. I was able to grab hold of it but was straining to hold onto it against the pulling current.

"Tie it to the cross member if you can Simon. We'll let it float with us until we can get to land somewhere down river." Reverend Vandoan ordered.

I did just as Lowell's father instructed.

BJ was headed back to their canoe when he stopped and shouted, "Hang on, I see something else!"

He climbed through the branches and thrust his arm into the water. When his hand came back out I knew instantly what he was holding.

I cried out, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Everyone laughed when they saw my Rainbow Unicorn plastic pants in BJ's hand.

"What are the chances of it flowing down this far and getting caught in the very same tree?" Mr. Otteranski asked with a loud laugh.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I cried as if I'd just seen the earth explode, "Throw `em back! Throw `em back!" I shouted.

"NO WAY! Don't throw `em back!" Reverend Vandoan laughed.

BJ climbed all the way back to their canoe and got settled while keeping a firm grip on those dang plastic pants.

"BJ, I officially hate you so much right now!" I growled.

"WOOOOOOOO!" he cheered and waved them like a flag high above his head.

"Stop rocking the boat!" Jamie said in this half growl half laugh.

He was still lying down in the boat but the excitement of the find had brought him back from his medicated La-La-Land for the time being.

________________

The next leg of our trip down the river was mostly uneventful save for Reverend Vandoan complaining and struggling to keep our canoe going straight. That darn cooler was acting like a bloody rudder and causing us to constantly want to turn right.

After some time struggling, Mr. Otteranski suggested we tie it to the very back cleat behind Reverend Vandoan. They paddled over to us and BJ, who was still in the front part of their canoe untied the chest from just behind me and then took the rope to the very back where he tied it back on.

As he was beside me he asked if I was okay and I asked if he enjoyed climbing through the tree. We both answered yes.

"You doing okay over there Lowell?" BJ asked.

"BJ!" Reverend Vandoan complained.

"YES! I can talk again!" Lowell cheered!

________________

After that we had no more troubles. Actually, Reverend Vandoan said the cooler was now helping to keep the boat going straight and he didn't have to steer near as much as he was yesterday.

We got further and further apart as BJ's dad had maneuvered them further from the shore. They'd caught a faster current and were swiftly pulled way ahead of us once more.

"We should go that way daddy! Like they did!" Lowell suggested.

"We're just fine here in the shade." He answered back.

Until that moment I hadn't even realized that we'd been staying close enough to the north-west side of the river that we were almost always being shielded from the sun by the overhanging trees.

As we lazily let the current carry us along, I began to have some pretty out there thoughts. I won't bore you with all of them `cause there is really only one that is relevant.

Turning my head and shoulders so I could see Reverend Vandoan I asked, "Can I ask you something?"

"Young man, I hope you always feel like you can ask me anything you want." He replied.

"How old do people have to be to get married in Ohio?" I asked.

"Married?" He scoffed which he then tried to disguise as a laugh, "Well the acceptable age, the one the law observes, is eighteen. But I get the idea that you are looking for something else?"

I had turned forward again after asking my question so I had to twist back around as I said, "Well, in some countries people get married when they are..."

"Your age?" he finished for me.

"Yes, and sometimes younger even." I added.

"That is true. Different cultures and different countries have different views on marriage and ages that people can marry." He said.

Lowell, without looking back our way then inserted himself into the conversation, "I saw on TV that in China, or maybe it was Japan, or someplace like that, they sometimes marry babies to each other."

"Yes, some cultures do that but that is known as betrothed. They are not actually wed until they are older, but it is considered that the arranged marriage will happen when they grow up." Reverend Vandoan said.

I then jumped back in with, "That's when the mom and dad of two people say that their kids will be married when they grow up. Right?"

"That is correct." He confirmed.

"So, can like two people who are younger then eighteen get married in Ohio?" I asked.

"Yes, they can in some situations but those are rare." He answered.

I then asked, "Can more than two people that are under eighteen get married?"

"Well, now you are talking about two separate issues. The first would be underage marriage; the second would be what is known as polygamy."

"What's that?" Lowell asked.

"Polygamy is just what Simon asked. More than two people in a marriage. For example: a man loves two or more women and marries all of them." Reverend Vandoan told his son.

"Isn't it also called a Harem?" I asked.

Reverend Vandoan laughed.

"Well, not exactly, but I suppose you could say that. However, polygamy is not something that is looked on with much favor in this country. However it does happen in some states."

"Does he have to marry all of the women at the same time?" Lowell asked.

"Not at all." Reverend Vandoan said.

"Can it be the other way around?" I asked.

"I don't understand what you are asking." Reverend Vandoan stated.

Lowell twisted around so that he was facing us both, "He means like one girl and two boys."

"OOOOOOOooooooooh!" Reverend Vandoan sang out. I think he figured out what I'd been beating around the bush to find out.

"For example, when they grow up Mary and Simon get hitched and then Mary wants to marry another man?" Reverend Vandoan asked.

"Uh... Well, yeah like that!" Lowell exclaimed.

"I do not know of anyone that has done that, but I am sure there are marriages like that." His father said.

I then asked, "But they have to be eighteen?"

"Uh... Well... To be honest, I am not sure. I suppose it is possible to have an underage polygamy marriage. However, I do not know if that would be legal in Ohio. With that being said; if such people came to me and wanted me to perform a wedding ceremony for the three of them? I would council them to wait until they are older. And by older I don't just mean older than eighteen, but perhaps in their twenties or thirties, before contemplating marriage. Everyone only gets to be young once and they should enjoy it as long as possible. That goes for marriage and sex alike. I've made no secret that I believe as the Bible teaches us, that sex is something to be saved for the sanctity of marriage; whether that is between a man and a woman, a man and a man, or a relationship with three or more persons."

Reverend Vandoan seemed to switch into `preaching mode' `cause he seemed to get rather passionate about the subject.

"I'm all for love, devotion, and commitment whether in a marriage or friendship. Sex should never, ever enter the equation until after the partners have had their love sanctified before God."

"Daaaaaaddy! You're doing it again!" Lowell moaned.

"Huh? What? Oh, why yes, yes I guess I was." He stammered before asking, "Did I answer your question Simon?"

I laughed, "Yeah and then some."

They both laughed too.

________________

Though I hadn't seen either of them do so, one of the dad-type-guys must have called Brad and Bry and told them when we'd be at our exit point. `Cause when we got to where Mr. Otteranski and BJ were pulling their canoe out of the river, the guys, with our truck and trailer, were there waiting for us.

As we were taking the canoes out of the water and lugging our gear up the embankment, a moment arrived when I was alone by the water's edge with Reverend Vandoan. The others were either up by the road or were dragging the other canoe up the hill.

"Simon could I have a quick word with you?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure!" I said not realizing that a big bombshell was about to drop.

"About our earlier conversation..." He started to say and when he saw the puzzled expression I had he said, "about marriage and sex?"

"OOOH Yeah!" I quipped.

"I don't know how else to say this other than to come right out and say it. I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but I really feel I need to say this."

I was still not realizing that I was seconds away from an atomic bomb falling on my head.

"I know that you and my son have a very special bond. Anyone that went through what the two of you went through couldn't help but have a bond. But I know the bond between you has grown and become so much more."

KABOOOOOM!

There it was. I was physically stunned by the realization of just what Lowell's father was trying to say to me.

I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I was blushing more than I ever have in my life simply because my head felt about fifty pounds heavier and burned with the fire of every single blood cell from my body now taking up residence in my head.

"OH DEAR LORD!" I exclaimed, "You heard us last night didn't you?"

He shook his head.

"No, but I know my son and frankly it was obvious something happened last night by the way he has been glowing all morning."

I used to wish I could suddenly become invisible, but at that very moment I didn't want to be invisible, I wanted to be transported to another planet as far from Earth as possible.

"Now calm down!" he said while looking over his shoulder to make sure we were still alone. "I am not angry with you and I fully support any relationship you and my son choose to pursue. However, as I said earlier, I believe the Lord's Word teaches us that sex is something to be saved for marriage."

Though I was still blushing and my head was spinning, I got what he was saying... sort of.

For the first time in a long time my stuttering came back with a vengeance, "S---s-s-so y-y-y-you y-your n-n-n-n----not..."

He put his hands on my shoulders and said, "Calm down. Breath!" and then added, "I love you both so very much and whether you are straight, gay, or whatever, I could never stop loving you boys."

I tried to talk again but all I could get out was, "Y----y---y"

He pinched my lips together so that I was puckering.

"Alright, I have upset you and I'm sorry. How about if we talk about this more later?"

I shook my head which pulled my lips free of his hand. Stomping my feet against the grassy-ground beneath my bare feet I growled at myself, "S-Simon st-stop it!"

I then took a very deep breath and blew it out before trying to speak again, "You know Lowell and?"

Again he glanced to see if anyone was coming back down the embankment while chuckling. He cut me off with, "I've known Lowell might be gay for a while now, long before all of you were abducted."

I took another breath and felt proud of myself for regaining control of my stuttering.

"I wish we had more time to discuss this, but for now, can you promise me something?"

I stood and waited for the `something'.

"I know Lowell can be hard to say no to, however can you promise me that you and he won't have sex again? At least not until we can talk more?"

I nodded my head even though I didn't really understand why I was agreeing or the impact of making such a promise.

"Good! Good! And if it is okay, we'll talk more about this later?" he asked.

I nodded again and then had to ask, "Are you going to tell my mom and dad?"

He smiled and said, "As far as I am concerned, what happens on the river stays on the river."

BJ and Lowell came bounding back down toward us acting like a couple of goofballs. A little behind them was Brad and Bry who came down to help with the second canoe.

Reverend Vandoan had gone over to help Brad and Bry, leaving me standing there sort of dazed and numb.

Lowell bounced up to me all filled with smiles and joy. When he saw my face he asked, "What's with you?"

"What?" I asked and shook my head to clear out the cobwebs.

He then got this look about him and asked, "Were you just pooping?"

That did it! I chuckled and said, "Nah! Nothing like that. I'll tell you about it later."

He seemed to be appeased as he spun around, grabbed an arm load and started up the embankment behind the others with the canoe.

I turned, looked up the river while thinking to myself, "God? What just happened?"

________________

Once everything was loaded into the trucks and the canoe's strapped to the trailer, Brad and Bry jumped into their van and pulled away. I watched as they did what looked like a rather reckless U-turn in the middle of the road. They almost ended up in the ditch on the far side too. As they drove past, Brad honked and waved. Their radio was blaring so loud that I think even the trees were wincing from the audible assault.

Reverend Vandoan then clapped his hands and asked, "Whelp, who needs a fresh diaper?"

Lowell lifted a hand, as did I; my brother had to stuff his good hand into the front of his Pull-Up.

He yanked it back out and cheerfully announced, "Bone dry!"

BJ laughed, "You said bone!" for which he got thumped on the back of the head by his father.

I laughed anyway `cause it was funny.

Reverend Vandoan dropped the truck's tailgate, spread out one of the towels and had his son lay down. Besides cleaning his diaper area, he also used another towel and several wipes to clean the rest of Lowell who, like the rest of us, still had some dried muddy spots. He handed a wipe to Lowell and told him to clean his face.

I hadn't been paying too much attention to BJ and my brother who had snuck around to the other side of the truck and quietly got some wipes from Lowell's dad. They had used them to make sure my Rainbow Unicorn plastic pants were clean.

It wasn't until I was taking my turn on the tailgate with everything God gave me exposed to the elements, that BJ and Jamie held up my plastic pants and laughed, "Don't forget these!"

"NOOOOOOO!" I cried out and laughed at the same time.

Without sitting up I made my fingers into two guns and pointed at each of them, "Bang! Bang!"

They laughed and dodged my imaginary bullets.

"Missed me!" Jamie laughed.

"You shoot like a girl!" BJ sang out.

"Yeah a girl wearing rainbow unicorn pants!" Lowell added.

"Boys," Reverend Vandoan began, "Remember he'll be getting back up from here in just another minute."

They all scattered while laughing and Lowell was singing, "Rainbow Unicorns! Rainbow Unicorns! Oh they're red and orange and pink and blue and green and yellow! Rainbow Unicorns! Rainbow Unicorns!"

"Lowell!" I yelled which only made him sing louder while laughing hysterically.

The whole time Reverend Vandoan was snapping those things on me I had my hands held in prayer fashion and was begging and pleading for him to accidently drop them on the ground and forget to pick them up again.

He was rather amused but then the last snap clicked and he asked, "Shorts?"

"UH YEAH!!" I laughed.

Chuckling, he dropped them on my face and said, "You can dress yourself. I'll get this stuff put away!"

"Look out boys! He's up!" Reverend Vandoan warned the others.

"And he's going to have your guts for garters!" I added.

"Do you even know what garters are?" Mr. Otteranski asked.

"Them things that hold your socks up!" I said while hopping down and into my shorts all in one action.

"ALL ABOARD!" Mr. Otteranski announced in a loud booming voice.

"Yeah, everyone get in the truck so I can get you back all at once!" I sang out as I jumped right back up into the truck bed before anyone else.

"NOT FAIR!" Lowell cried out while dancing back and forth from foot to foot.

"Come on! Get your medicine!" I said and stood like a prize boxer.

"Simon! Leave the revenge to the Lord!" Reverend Vandoan said.

"God is busy! He wants me to do it!" I laughed.

"Blasphemy!" BJ shouted while pointing an accusing finger at me.

"Come on boys! Let's get this show on the road!" Mr. Otteranski said.

Grabbing Lowell he lifted him over the side of the truck and dropped him into the bed on his feet.

"NOOOO! Simon's going to hold his socks up with my guts!" Lowell laughed as he dropped into one of the seats.

I made like I was going to lung at Lowell and he quickly curled up into a ball to protect himself!

"SORRY! SORRY! SORRY!" He sang and tucked his head behind his knees.

From behind me BJ had snuck into the truck bed, reached around me and gave me a double Titty-Twister!

"AAAAHHH! MY MAN BOOBS!" I screamed which made everyone laugh.

BJ let me go as fast as he'd grabbed me, dropped into the seat and was buckling himself in while I was busy rubbing my aching nipples.

I kicked his leg just for spite.

"OH! Owww! The agony!" BJ teased.

"I'm going to give you both the worst Titty-Twisters!" I warned.

They both crossed their arms over their chests. I spun and dropped in the seat between them and since their precious jewels were unprotected I was able to nail them both.

"OOOOOOOH YOU DIRTY!" Lowell cried out and rolled away from me.

"OOOUCH Now that had to hurt!" Reverend Vandoan laughed,

"It's not funny!" BJ bellowed as tears rolled down his face.

"Hey! I warned you!" Reverend Vandoan said as he reached out and tweaked BJ's ear.

"Aaaaah!" BJ groaned and swatted away his hand.

He had for just a millisecond left his jewels unguarded again. Of course I saw his mistake and attacked again.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH! SIMON!!!!!" BJ bawled and fell on me.

I had to push him off with one hand while covering my precious gems with my other hand.

"All three of you buckle up!" Reverend Vandoan laughed.

But I was already clicking it into place before either one could retaliate.

"Alright, no more! Y'all are even now!" Mr. Otteranski announced.

"No way!" BJ challenged.

"You heard me!" His father said.

I wasn't surprised when Jamie asked, "Can I ride up front?"

"Of course you can." Mr. Otteranski said, "Come ride with the MEN!"

"Need another pill?" Reverend Vandoan asked.

Jamie shook his head, "It isn't hurting much now. I just want to ride up front away from those maniacs."

"Well climb in!" Mr. Otteranski said while pretending to swat the back of my brother's head.

The drive home was completely uneventful. Lowell, BJ, and I sat, buckled, in the truck bed seats while talking about the canoe trip, about the amazingness of finding that tree and our ice chest again, and other stuff that isn't really important. Although I participated in the conversation, way in the darker parts of my head I was going over and over what Lowell's father had said and made me promise him. About a half-hour into our trip home his lack of sleep last night got the better of him and Lowell zonked out big time. BJ and I talked a little longer but then I too gave into sleep. I'd fallen over onto BJ who let me use him for a pillow for most of the rest of our trip home.

I only learned we were dropping everyone off on the way home when we pulled up in front of Jamie's apartment building. I woke as the truck pulled to a bone rattling stop and saw that BJ had sacked out too but both him and Lowell reawakened when I had.

"Thanks for the fabulous time Mr. Otteranski!" Jamie shouted and waved.

"See you guys real soon!" Jamie told us three.

BJ's father stayed behind the wheel of the truck and we boys stayed in the back while Reverend Vandoan carried Jamie's stuff in.

"I bet he wants to talk with Marsha about Jamie's arm." Lowell said with a yawn.

He then leaned over onto me and went right back to sleep.

BJ leaned pointed toward Lowell as he softly but animatedly said, "I think he messed his drawers again!"

"He must not be taking his Whiff pills anymore." I said off handedly.

"What's that?" he asked and before I could answer he answered, "Oh you mean those pills that make his poop not stink?"

"Daddy forgot them for the trip." Lowell moaned and grabbed my arm and hugged it like a teddy bear.

I then imitated BJ by pointing at Lowell and speaking the way he had, "I don't think stinky butt is really sleeping."

Lowell then moaned something so low and unintelligible that I was forced to ask what he said.

His eyes opened to slits and he repeated, "I said, you have a lumpy shoulder!"

BJ laughed.

"Yeah well you have a stinky butt!" I teased.

"It's Turkey and Berry scented." He laughed.

BJ really laughed now, as did I.

Lowell whined, "Too loud! You guys are too loud!!!"

BJ then reached over the back of me and poked Lowell's ribs which, had he not been buckled in I am sure he probably would have jumped right up and out of the bed of the truck.

He never should have poked him `cause I'm here to tell you that World War Three broke out in the form of a three sided poking and tickling battle. We had that truck rocking and bouncing like mad.

That is until the cops pulled up behind us with lights flashing. We thought he was going to get out and come say something about us rough housing or say something about being in the back of the truck but that isn't what happened.

"You are parked in a no parking zone. Please move your vehicle." The voice boomed out from the cruiser's PA system.

Of course it was very loud and surprised all three of us. We jumped and screamed as one which seemed to amuse the officer greatly.

"Sorry about that boys!" the officer said over the PA system which made all three of us jump again.

Oh boy we laughed so hard! I'm not kidding when I tell you that I couldn't breathe `cause I was laughing so hard. BJ had tears running down his face, `cause he was laughing so hard and Lowell was folded over hugging his own ribs to stem the pain from all our laughter.

Mr. Otteranski pulled back out into traffic and began to circle the block. We made two laps and were about to make a third when Reverend Vandoan came walking out the front door. When he saw we were about to drive away he shouted at us and began to jog toward the truck waving his arms.

"Don't leave me! Don't leave me!" he shouted.

All three of us began banging on the back window and yelling at BJ's father to wait. The truck came to a tire squealing stop and all three of our heads banged against the rear window. Thankfully I was wearing my kayaking helmet. The other's hadn't been but they didn't' get too hurt. Actually they were laughing rather hard about it.

Reverend Vandoan jogged up to the truck, reached in past his son and pinched my arm. And as he was about to hop into the cab he announced, "You are next."

Ignoring his comment about me getting dropped off next I shouted, "OUCH! CHILD ABUSE!" but he didn't even pay me any mind at all.

After a few minutes BJ asked, "I thought we were going to your house next?"

I shrugged, "Me too."

We were for sure nowhere I had ever been.

BJ leaned over the side of the bed and shouted toward the open driver's window, "Are we going to Simons?"

Though we couldn't hear them, they both nodded their heads toward us to indicate we were indeed going to my place.

Sure enough, a few minutes later and we pulled onto my street at the bottom of the hill.

"Yep! We're going to your house!" Lowell sang out in a funny cartoon voice.

"When did you wake back up?" I asked.

"I was never really asleep this time!"

When we pulled up out front of my house mom and dad were both outside waiting for us. I guess they called to alert them we were about to pull up.

"WE'RE BACK!" I yelled while holding my hands up in the traditional victory pose.

The truck stopped and I unbuckled myself while both adults climbed from the truck. Mr. Otteranski helped me leap over the side of the truck and lowered me to the ground.

"Son, it was a pleasure having you come with us!" Mr. Otteranski said while hugging my helmeted head.

"Thanks Number Two dad!" I told him.

As he released me he removed my helmet. After wearing it so much over the past couple days I felt almost naked without it.

I ran around the front of the truck and right into my parents awaiting arms.

"Did you have a good time?" Mom asked.

"The best!" I told them.

While I was hugging Reverend Vandoan, Dad helped Mr. Otteranski get my stuff from the back of the truck.

"See you Unicorn Butt!" Lowell and BJ cheered from the back of the truck.

"OOOOOH YEAH!" I said rounding on my parents.

"What's the deal with these dang rainbow unicorns?" I almost shouted as I pulled the front of my shorts down so they could see the plastic pants underneath.

Mom looked clueless but dad... well he wouldn't even look at me.

"DAAAAAD!" I shouted and jabbed a finger into his gut when I realized that he was hiding his face `cause he was 110% guilty!

He turned and I saw that he was laughing soooooo hard that he had tears in his eyes. He couldn't even talk `cause he was laughing so hard.

"Honey what did you do?" Mom said to him the way she says to me when I've done something bad.

Lowell and BJ were dying of laughter as were their dads.

Dad had taken a couple steps back and was protecting his tummy from me. I rushed him like I was going to tackle him but he didn't go down. Instead he used the momentum to scoop me into his arms with a big, big, hug while spinning three full rotations.

When he put me down I was dizzy and staggering a bit.

Laughing while at the same time growling like a bear I said, "Grrrrrr... everybody teased me!"

"Aaaaah, a little teasing is good for you." He said as he steadied me and gave my backside a really hard swat.

With one more hug to BJ and Lowell's fathers and waves to the guys I watched as they pulled off.

Dad and I carried my stuff from the front yard into the house with mom leading the way empty handed. Once inside the door mom announced that she needed another hug. So I dropped my arm load right there on the living room floor and gave her another one only much longer and much tighter.

After mom, I gave dad another hug too except as I was breaking the hug I gave him a big, wet and sloppy puppy-dog lick all the way up the side of his face and ear. It kind of hurt my tongue `cause he hadn't shaved and his face was all scratchy but it was worth the pain.

"OOOOOH YOU NASTY, NASTY BOY!!" Dad groaned.

"That was for the unicorn pants!" I laughed as I made sure to move out of his reach and hide behind mom.

He laughed too as he said, "Yeah, but it was worth it."

"No it wasn't!" I whined and stomped my foot for dramatic effect.

Mom then asked, "So what did you have to eat?"

I then regaled them with tales of the fish we had for lunch and dinner yesterday, about the storm, the tree getting washed away with our cooler and about BJ killing a turkey with a machete and about how we had Turkey and Berries for breakfast. I then started giving them details about the whole trip.

Of course I left out EVERYTHING that happened between Lowell and myself in the tent as well as the little talk Reverend Vandoan had with me concerning it all.

"It sure sounds like you had a wonderful time!" Mom said and then she asked, "Did you have lunch?"

"It was great! Even though we got rained on sooo much we had fun getting muddy this morning. No I ain't had no lunch and I sure am hungry!"

"Yeah it didn't rain at all here." Dad commented.

"Really?" I asked with surprise.

"Was the water up a lot from all that rain?" Mom asked.

"Oh yeah and it was moving super-fast. We hardly had to paddle at all today. The water did almost all the work."

"That's good!" Mom said and then she asked, "How is your head?"

"It's ok!" I said as she reached back and touched it.

"Your hair is filthy!" mom then said.

"Yeah well it was sooooo muddy today." I told her, "I had mud in all the wrong places!"

"You should probably get in the tub then. We'll have to leave in a few hours." Mom said.

"Leave? Where are we going?" I asked.

"The viewing and funeral for Mr. Peterson?" dad said.

I don't know, maybe it was all the fun we had but I had completely forgot about being sad over Mr. Peterson's passing. But right when dad told me that, my brain kicked in big time and I remembered the book that I'd found in the chest along with the bottles of Ambrosia for Boys Liquid Multi-Vitamin under Mr. Peterson's kitchen sink the other night. I suddenly felt overwhelming urgency to go look at that book.

"My goodness!" dad said as he started to pick up the stuff I had dropped.

There was a mud spot on the living room floor. I looked up into mom's face and saw that look in her eyes like she was about to have a panic attack over that mud. She instantly went into cleaning mode, so Dad carried my stuff off to the laundry room while I ran back to my bedroom.

"I'll be in to help you in a moment." Mom called after me.

"No need, I'm going to shower!" I shouted back.

"Just be careful of your head." She warned.

"Okay!" I called back.

Dad hollered through the house, "I'd think you'd be sick of water by now!"

"I don't have to shower! I can stay like this if you want!" I teased.

"Oh no you don't! You smell like a dirty fishtank!" Mom said in a very serious tone.

"HEY!" I laughed as I scampered off to my room.

In my room I went right for Mr. Peterson's book. I put it on the lower bunk under the pillow before I began to strip off my clothes.

"These are going in the trash!" I said while unsnapping one side of my plastic pants.

Right then dad walked into my room.

"So you didn't like your new plastic britches?" he asked with a chuckle.

"NOOO!" I snorted.

He laughed out loud as he pushed me onto the bed, then sat on the edge and took over unsnapping them while I kept reaching out and plucking a single hair at a time from his arms. He rolled the evil rainbow unicorn pants into a ball and sat them behind him, out of my reach, and then helped me out of the wet disposable diaper.

"You look like you got quite a bit of sun!" he said as the diaper fell from between my legs.

He was bundling up the diaper into a ball and taping it closed before he tossed it into the diaper thingy.

I looked down at my body and made the comment, "I look almost like before." Meaning when I first came back from the Banachelli.

"Yes and you smell almost as bad." He teased.

I sniggered at that as I said, "Yeah well..." and then stuck my tongue out at him.

I tried to roll away, but hadn't moved fast enough. He grabbed me and rolled me back onto my back and began to tickle me. I curled up into a ball, almost encompassing his hand and arm as I squealed like a caught pig.

"Stick your tongue out at me will you!" he said.

"UNCLE!" I screamed.

"No I am the Daddy, not the Uncle!" he teased and continued to tickle me.

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDD SSSSTTTTOOOOOOOOPPPPP I'M GOING TO PEEEEEEEE!"

He let me go and I sprang off the bed and ran to the far side of the room to put some distance between us. As I panted for air I stuck my tongue out at him again. He twitched and thinking he was going to come after me I squealed like a little girl and jumped in place. He laughed at my reaction.

Still laughing I looked down at my near nudity and commented, "Yeah, I got some sun on most of me. Most of yesterday all any of us boys, `sept for BJ, were wearing was diapers."

Of course my diaper area hadn't seen a lick of sun, so it was gleaming like newly fallen snow compared to the rest of me.

I extended my leg, touched my toe on the floor and turned it this way and that as if I was modeling my ankle monitor, "Bet when I get this dang thing off my ankle is going to be whiter than my backside!"

"Come back over here and let me finish getting you ready for the tub." Dad commanded with this exaggerated hand gesture that reminded me of General Zod from Superman 2.

"No more tickling!?" I said, but it came out sounding more like a pleading as though I were begging for him to spare my life.

He smiled wide, snapped his fingers and pointed to a spot right at his feet while he said, "Get over here!"

Now he was really reminding me of Zod. I reluctantly obeyed while mumbling, "Yes Lord Zod".

When I was again within reach he twitched like he was going to do something. I jumped and squealed again, only louder.

Laughing he slid off the bed and dropped to one knee as started to unlace my shoe.

"Oh my!" he exclaimed as he pulled off the shoe and saw the mud between my toes.

"Whatever you do, don't let your mother see that." He chuckled fretfully and then added, "In fact, I'll carry you to the bathroom."

Off came the other shoe and before I knew what was happening, he had scooped me up. However, he didn't carry me like normal. He gave me a spin so that I was now hanging upside down and began to paddle my bare bottom while transporting me from my bedroom.

"Bath or shower?" he asked while stopped in the hallway.

"Shower is faster!" I said while hugging his waist out of fear of falling on my head.

Once we reached the hall bathroom he flipped me again and dropped me feet first into the tub.

"Whoa, that was fun!" I giggled.

He gave me one more really hard swat to my butt.

"NO FAIR!" I whined while rubbing my backside.

He then asked, "Will you need help?"

Although it didn't hurt at all, I was still rubbing my backside as I answered, "Nah, I am good!"

"I know you're good, but do you need help?" he joked.

Laughing I said, "Daaaad! Go away!"

I leaned over and turned the water on as he said, "Alright! Alright! I'm going!"

Man you should have seen the water washing down the drain. Even though Lowell's father had attempted to clean me with baby wipes, I was still filthy! Heck, I even washed my skin twice and washed my hair three times just to be sure I got all of the mud and seaweed and river gunk washed off.

After I'd been in the shower for a good while dad knocked on the bathroom door and asked through it, "Son, are you about done in there?"

"Simon isn't here! He went down the drain with the filthy water!" I called back.

Another minute or so I turned off the water and as if on cue the door opened. I had expected it to be dad again; however it was mom this time. She sat down on the closed toilet seat while toweling me off. I think she had come in to make sure I washed all over and hadn't missed any part of me. She even gave me a sniff a couple times to be sure I smelled like soap and not like the river.

"Wow, I don't think you have been this clean—ever!" She teased while drying my hair by draping the towel over my head and pulling it back and forth the way you do when trying to polish shoes.

She was careful not to hurt the back of my head but she was also being very thorough.

"Is it still real sore?" she asked and I knew what she meant.

I muttered out a sort of whiny-moan, "Not like before, but a little."

"It feels smaller." She said while gently running her fingers over the shrunken bump.

I quickly reached up and grabbed both sides of my head.

"My head is getting smaller?" I teased and then suggested, "Maybe it is shrinking like one of those voodoo shrunken heads? Think I would look good with a tiny head?"

"You are silly!" she said and then proclaimed that I was dry by saying, "I think you are ready for a diaper and some nice clothes."

Back in my room I assumed the natural diaper boy position on my bed while mom procured all the needed sundries. Before too long she had me frosted, dusted, and wrapped up tight.

As she was snapping a pair of plain white plastic pants on me I asked, "Mom?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"Can you make sure dad threw out those evil rainbow unicorn pants?" I asked.

"For the record, I knew nothing about those! That was all your father's doing! I don't even know where or when he bought them" she declared."

"Okay, but please make sure he throws `em away!"

While she went to the closet to pick out a pair of dress pants and a shirt, I slid a hand under my pillow just to reassure myself that the book was still there.

"Do I have to wear long pants?" I asked.

"Yes you do. However, if you want we'll bring your shorts so you can change after the service."

"Okay." I agreed.

"MEEEOOOOWWW!"

Both mom and I convulsed with alarm at Li'l Vera's announcement that she had entered the room.

"Oh my Kitty! You gave me such a start!" Mom exclaimed.

"Meeeeeeeeooooooooowww!" was Li'l Vera's reply as she hopped onto my bed and flopped right down.

She then threw her legs up and over so that she rolled from facing mom's direction to now facing me.

"Why are you acting all cute?" I asked Li'l Vera.

She replied with a small, "Meow!" and began to rub her head on the comforter while the tip of her tail twitched with aggressive fervor.

Tentatively I reached down to pet her from head to tail. She uncharacteristically stretched herself super long with her belly exposed as though she wanted me to rub her tummy. Despite knowing better than to go near her tummy, I did it anyway.

I got to stroke her underneath twice before she was done with it and tried to eat me. I had been expecting that action from her and pulled my hand away before she could get her fangs into my meaty fingers.

"HA! You missed!" I laughed.

She stretched out again as if inviting me to rub her tummy again.

"Do I look that stupid to you?" I asked her.

"Meow!"

"Yeah well..." I stuck my tongue out at her.

Mom chuckled, "You too better behave."

"She started it!" I argued.

Li'l Vera flopped herself back over so that she was again facing mom and began to purr like a chainsaw while flapping her entire tail.

Amazingly, mom was able to lean down and give Li'l Vera a kiss on the top of her head while stroking her belly several times without that darn cat doing anything to her.

"That is hardly fair!" I complained.

Mom simply smiled as she tossed my pants and shirt into my hands and ordered me to put them on.

________________

Dressed and ready to go, there was still loads of time before we were going to leave. Mom left me alone in my room while she went to get herself ready. I was about to get the book out when Dad came in to bring me my e-journal.

"Thought you might want this." He said coyly.

Instead of thanking him I asked sternly, "Did you throw those unicorn pants away?"

He chuckled and said, "Maybe I did and maybe I didn't."

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaad!" I whined in protest and swiped my e-journal out of his hand.

I then saw in his other hand a plate with a sandwich, cookies, chips, and a spill proof sippy-cup.

From the bed Li'l Vera, who had been sound asleep, greeted dad with a long and very loud cat yawn.

"Oh my!" Dad cooed to her, "Did I wake you?"

She replied with a cat version of, "Yes you did now come rub behind my ears until I fall back to sleep!"

Dad set the plate on the corner of my desk and walked over to her.

"Are you missing your friend?" Dad asked her while scratching the back of her right ear.

She only purred and leaned against his fingers for a deeper scratching.

"That feels good huh?" Dad asked her.

When he tried to stop she reached out and grabbed him with her two front paws and made him scratch her more.

So dad enlisted his other hand and began to work on both ears as though it was his job. Poor Li'l Vera was no match for the two fisted rubbing.

As if talking for her, dad said, "Oh yeah that's the stuff!"

I don't think I have ever heard her purr that loud before.

When dad finally stopped she lay there as though she were dead except for her tail which was whipping the bed.

"That is so not fair!" I complained again.

Now I had meant that it wasn't fair that Li'l Vera would let mom and dad love on her so much, but if I try that, I usually lose blood. However, when I wasn't looking dad snuck up behind me and began to massage the back of my neck and my trapezius muscles with just as much fervor as he was giving to Li'l Vera.

"Oh Dad don't ever stop that!" I moaned.

Leaving me a blob of ooze, with my head resting on my desk, he too left to go get ready. After another moment I forced myself to lift my head up. I pulled open the drawer to my desk to put away my e-journal and found my watch.

"Oh I was wondering where that got to." I said to no one as I slipped my e-journal into the drawer with my watch.

I wish I would have thought to put my watch back on because in the coming hours I was going to regret not having it.

After closing the drawer I went to retrieve the book from under my pillow.

When I did so, Li'l Vera was so deeply asleep that she didn't so much as twitch when I got the book. I sat at my desk so not to wrinkle my clothes and stroked the edges of the leather cover tantalizingly.

Lifting the book to my nose I inhaled deeply and maybe it was my imagination, but I thought I could actually smell the ocean.

As I opened the front cover and began to read I was suddenly transported back to another time. I wasn't really reading all of it. I mean it was hand written and a lot of it was too difficult to read. However, I read enough that any doubts I had were gone and every suspicion was confirmed.

"Mr. Peterson was really Captain Mecums!" I whispered as though it was something that had to stay a secret.

I found my heart racing a million-trillion-gazillion-quadrillion beats per minute while sweat was beading up on my forehead and covering my upper lip like morning dew as I read about how he'd, over time managed to create and then prefect his life lengthening elixir.

"I never should have poured out the Ambrosia for Boys bottles." I said to myself.

Right then Li'l Vera let out an evil hiss. I turned and looked at her. She was standing on the bed, tail bristled, hairs standing up, and back arched. She then let out the longest and loudest cat howl.

"Shut up!" I said to her and turned my back to her again.

There seemed to be a battle in my brain between the thoughts, "Mr. Peterson is really Captain Mecums!" and then to "So that's why he wanted me to have that chest of Ambrosia for Boys Liquid Multi-Vitamin?"

I continued to read and sure enough I came upon the answer. His formula never contained that vial, addictive Opium; that had been Madam-M's doing. She added that to the formula...

"OH MY GOD!" I gasped as I realized I was looking at the exact formula for recreating the elixir minus all the crap Madam-M had added to it!

Granted I had no idea what half of it was, like fermented Marine Phytoplankton, Elk Antler Velvet and Mangosteen. I won't even begin to list all the medical sounding ingredients.

Captain Mecums... I mean Mr. Peterson, went on to say in the book:

"The elixir does not make the drinker truly immortal, but only lengthens the lifespan. One would still age, albeit at a significantly slower pace. However, it is possible, if taken in large enough quantizes and at a young enough age, it could be possible to halt or even turn back the hands of time."

And suddenly I knew I wanted to tell someone. No, I NEEDED to tell someone... but who could I tell? I mean who in the world would believe that some old guy who lived alone in a house filled with books was actually a 183 year old man? Then in a spectacular explosion of synaptic convergence I knew who to call.

I re-hid the book, and then ran to the bathroom where I wiped the sweat from my face and re-combed my hair. Why was my hair such a mess again? Then I raced off to the kitchen to call Tom.

However, as I was reaching for the phone I remembered that I hadn't made my call to the probation department when I got home. I had a momentary flash of bone chilling panic when I realized how long I'd been home. So first I called the probation department only to find out that my father had already informed them that I was home. I was also told by the lady on the phone that Reverend Vandoan had called in to report that I'd been dropped off at home. As soon as I hung up with them I dialed Tom's number.

I couldn't believe that it rang and rang and rang and then went to voice mail. Tom's cell phone NEVER goes to voice mail when I call him. He is ALWAYS just a call away.

Suddenly I wasn't as worried about telling someone about Mr. Peterson as I was about why Tom had not answered his phone.

Dad came strolling into the kitchen as Tom's voice mail beeped, telling me that it was ready to record a voice message from me.

Instead of leaving a message I hung up the receiver and told dad, "Tom didn't answer his phone!"

I guess dad picked up on the anxiety in my voice `cause he stopped and looked at the phone as though the phone would suddenly come to life and tell us where Tom was at.

"Maybe he's in the bathroom?" Dad suggested, "Or maybe he's sleeping?"

"Dad, Tom always answers! Always! Always! Always!" I said with mounting worry.

"Simon! Don't get all worked up." Dad sang, "Did you leave a message for him?"

I shook my head.

"Why were you calling him?" Dad asked.

"Oh crap!" I thought. I hadn't been prepared for that question.

"I-I just wanted to tell him about..." I said.

"About the canoe trip?" he asked.

I was so grateful for the excuse.

"Yeah!" I agreed.

"I'm sure he'd love to hear about it, but he's probably just busy right now. You can call him when we get back home later."

I surrendered to that and wandered off to the living room to wait until it was time to go. I'm sure mom and dad thought I was just nervous about the service and assumed that was my reasons for being fidgety and kept pacing around the room.

"You are going to wear those shoes out." Mom teased when she came out.

I was honestly taken aback when I saw her dressed in black and her hair all done up.

"Wow honey!" Dad exclaimed, "You look ravishing!"

"Do you think it's too much for a funeral service?" Mom asked nervously, "I-I should go change?!"

"Noooo!" Dad told her, "You look perfect!"

He stepped up to her, pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately. If Lowell had kissed me like that my toes would have curled up within my shoes.

However, since it was my parents, I averted my eyes and groaned, "Oh! I may barf!"

"Oh please! I've seen you kissing on your girlfriend!" Dad said with a laugh.

"MARY!" I thought and felt a twinge of guilt at having compared their kiss to Lowell, instead of Mary.

"Yeah, but you guys are too old to be doing that sort of stuff!" I complained while making a disgusted face.

I didn't see the throw pillow until it was too late.

"OOOH Right in the face!" I laughed as I fell over on the sofa.

"Now don't mess up his hair!" Mom admonished.

"Or my beautiful face!" I added with a laugh.

Dad made a scoffing sound.

"HEY! You know flowers are envious when I walk by `em!" I said real snooty-like.

"Oh brother!" Mom exclaimed and rolled her eyes.

"Where's my boots? `Cause it is getting deep in here!" dad scoffed.

________________

Fast forward a few hours. Thank God I had the forethought to stuff my e-journal into the back waistband of my pants before we left the house this afternoon. Otherwise I wouldn't be writing this right now and may have forgotten much of it, as so much has happened in the past few hours. I am now sitting in the waiting room of Riverside Hospital with my parents, Ian, Colin, Reverend Vandoan and his wife, the boys from the Banachelli, and all their parents, grandparents or legal guardians and a few others as well. Along with us are three police officers who are standing guard. We are all waiting for the doctor to come tell us... Shit! I can't even bring myself to write the words!

DEAR GOD THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!

I still can't seem to wrap my head around everything that has happened. Granted it was a funeral service, but still it had been sort of a happy time as nine out of the thirteen of us boys who'd taken Li'l Vera's mother back to Mr. Peterson's home had come to the service. It was like a sort of Banachelli reunion for us boys.

The service was held at Reverend Vandoan's church and scores upon scores of people I didn't know had come to pay their respects.

We thirteen boys had come forward as one group and were standing around the casket. To the left of the casket was a large picture of Mr. Peterson with Vera the cat curled up on his lap looking just as mangy as ever. My very first thought was that there wasn't a single book anywhere in the picture, but I recognized the chair as one of the chair's from Mr. Peterson's living room. Just that one piece of information told me that the picture was older, even though Mr. Peterson looked just the same in it as the first day I had seen him.

Everything had been fairly uneventful for the first hour or so... but as we boys stood around the casket, that's when things took a very, very, very bad turn.

From the back of the sanctuary there was a commotion. We turned to see Tom coming in looking very upset.

"Hey `ere Tom!" one boy commented.

"Wha'zee wear'n?" Micky had asked.

Tom rushed down the center isle and went directly to my parents who had stood up and met him. It looked like he was wearing some sort of tan jump suit. Later I would find out that it was a flight suit and that he'd actually parachuted down and landed right in the parking lot of the church.

We were too far AWAY to hear what he said to them, but I knew it was bad when Mom and Dad both turned to look at me with extremely fearful expressions.

I had been standing with my left hand stuffed in my pocket and my right stretched back behind Poppy so that Lowell and I could hold hands. I'd been sort of the nucleus of our group with Poppy to my right. He had an arm around behind me and holding tightly to my left ribcage. Lowell stood directly beside him and as I said, Lowell and I were holding hands behind Poppy. My brother's left arm had been linked with my right like a pretzel.

All our other parents were on their feet now and moving toward Tom so that we couldn't get near him.

"Some thing's up!" Lowell's voice broke when he talked.

That is when things really spiraled down into hell.

We were standing up by the coffin but had our backs to it. These two men had come up to pay their respects, or so we had assumed. As a group we had moved out of the way to allow them the room they needed.

My hand came out of my pocket and almost instantly my brother grabbed hold of it and squeezed it extremely tight. So tight that I had to look over at him.

Now out of the nine of us boys, one of us had seen those two men before and I can tell you it wasn't me. However, all of us knew their voices the instant we heard them.

For an instant Tom's voice rose above the growing murmurs which drew my attention away from Jamie and back to him. Had I not been distracted away from my brother, perhaps I would have seen what he was about to do and could have saved him.

There was one other person in the sanctuary that had seen those two men before and he was talking to our parents.

We boys had moved several feet away from the casket and were about to descend the steps, hand in hand, toward Tom and our parents when I felt my brother's hand go ice cold in a split second. I know that sounds impossible, but I swear on a stack of Bibles he went as cold as death.

My head turned back toward him and I saw the look of complete horror in my brother's face. In that split second he was turning in my direction, but was looking right at those two men. I saw him go from ghostly white to burning red and I swear his eyes looked... well they looked fake, like there was no life behind them.

That is when those two men first spoke.

"Can't b'leive da `ol bast'rd fin'ly up'n kicked da bucket."

"Shaw-sum respect!"

There was no time to react. Heck there wasn't even time to realize what Jamie was about to do. I looked to Tom for a split second and saw his eyes widen with recognition as Jamie's hand pulled from mine. Parents were shoved away as Tom started toward us like a charging rhinoceros. I was turning at the same instant and saw my brother somehow become airborne as though launched from a catapult.

It was then that my brain told me who those two voices belonged too. I suppose the same happened to the other boys. It was the two men who'd kidnapped and delivered us to the Banachelli.

I found myself falling from the force of my brother's movement. We boys had been so close together that we all fell like dominos and tumbled down the steps; leaving my brother alone up there with Doc and Neil.

I didn't see Tom inhumanly hurtle over us, but I did hear Jamie screaming, "DIE MOTHER FUCKER!" followed by what sounded like someone hitting a baseball with a wooden bat. As I rolled and came up on my knees Tom was wrestling Jamie away. One of the men was now lying, bent over backward over a large flower arrangement as blood gushed from his head. At the same time the other was advancing on Tom and my brother.

"NOOOOOO!" I screamed.

Abruptly there were three rapid explosions. I watched the second man stop instantly and then someone tackled him. I didn't know what had happened until much later. But one of the other fathers had managed to get to the stage half a second too late and took down the other of our captors but not before he'd been shot.

Our parents descended on us and spirited us all from the Sanctuary and to safety so fast that it left my head spinning. It seemed almost instantaneous from the moment we came out of the sanctuary that the police and paramedics began to arrive. Police officers began to flood the church as did Tom's partner in training, Agent Morris, and a couple other men in suits who I assumed were FBI as well.

I cannot tell you how much time transpired from the arrival of the paramedics and when they started taking out the injured and dead. In one sense time seemed to be running on quadruple fast forward while at the same time it also seemed to be running in ultra-slow-motion.

The first gurney rocketed out of the sanctuary and past where my parents and I sat huddled and crying on each other. I saw it was one of my captors; the smaller of the two and he had been the one I'd seen up by the casket with the bloodied head. A paramedic was straddling the man and performing chest compressions on him while they rushed past and out the front doors of the church.

Through tears I watched as the next gurney came rushing out even faster and the moment I saw his deathly white face, I became uncontrollable. It was Lowell!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed and thrashed about trying to break free of my parents who were holding me and sobbing.

And then Tom came out bear chested with his left arm bandaged around the bicep and still bleeding. I knew he was still bleeding because the bandage was soaked with blood.

Somehow I broke from my parents grip and from the officer who'd been talking with us and ran to Tom.

"TOM!" I blubbered.

He caught me with his uninjured arm and said somberly, "I'm so sorry son. I should have..." but he couldn't finish as his emotions got the better of him.

I didn't get to say or ask him anything as Agent Morris came running in from outside and sounding out of breath he managed to convey, "We have the two of them..." he took a big breath, "in my car."

I later learned that Agent Morris had been talking about Marsha and my brother.

Tom gave me another squeeze and did something really weird, he kissed my cheek.

"Son, Can you do something for me? I need you to be strong and stay with your parents."

For some reason the word `parents' seemed to catch in his throat.

After physically putting me into the arms of another officer who was standing with my parents now, Tom and his partner left together.

As Tom was rushing out the doors of the church he turned and called back to the officer who was now holding me.

"Take the three of them to the hospital right now and don't let that one," he pointed at me, "out of your sight for a single second until we find that bitch! Anything happens to him or his parents and by God your ass will be hanging on my wall!"

"What bitch?" I managed to blubber out.

Tom reappeared for a split second and shouted back to the officer who hadn't even moved yet. "And after you have delivered them to the hospital find out how that oversized cunt managed to escape!"

"OVERSIZED?" I bellowed a second after Tom was out of sight.

The officer passed me to my parents and my parents then reluctantly confirmed that the `Oversized cunt' was none other than Madam-M. Apparently she had somehow found a way to get out of prison.

________________

Mary's father arrived at the hospital about two hours after we had. The first thing he did was to hug my mom and then told us that he'd seen my brother and told us that under the circumstances Jamie and Marsha were doing alright. I exhaled a breath of relief as up to that point no one seemed to know if Jamie was alive or dead. Mary's dad was then able to tell us just what the hell had happened.

"Your brother told us that he had recognized the two men as the ones who had abducted you boys.

"We could have told you that!" Micky and I said as one. We shared a knowing glace after saying that exact same long sentence at the same time.

"Is that so?" He said.

Micky, who seemed to have an attitude toward Mary's father answered, "If'n y'all took the time t'ask `n not leave us all sit'n `ere fir hours `n hours!"

I have to give Officer Tucker a lot of props `cause he didn't lose his cool or show any negative emotions after Micky ripping him a new one.

I don't know who the man was that pulled Micky down and covered his mouth as Micky's emotions over took him and he began to weep uncontrollably.

My father asked Mary's father, "Joe, was my son able to tell you anything else?"

"Yes. Yes he did. He gave us the names that you boys had given us a while back, Doc and Neil." Officer Tucker said.

All of us boys silently nodded our heads in agreement.

Officer Tucker wiped sweat from his forehead as he then said, "We still don't know why they were there, or if there is any connection with Sunday's discovery that Yolanda Mecums was no longer in custody. However, I can promise you that we will before this is over."

Micky, with swollen, tear filled eyes, spoke up again, "I knew their voices right away."

"Me too!" I added and the others said the same.

"I'd-a known them voices anywhere!" Poppy said softly but not really to anyone but more like he was thinking out loud.

"Well," Officer Tucker went on to say, "Jamie told us that during his abduction, there had been a point where he had seen his captor's faces."

"I-I didn't know he'd seen them." I gasped and began to sob again.

"He ne'er said he saw `em!" Timmy said with a very shaking voice.

Mary's father went on to tell us that Jamie had struck the first man with his cast. Besides breaking open the man's head, my brother had cracked his cast, and re-fractured his arm. He is being treated across town at another hospital.

"Wish I could have killed that fucker myself!" Poppy spat and punched his fist into his other hand. His grandmother pulled him to her as he seemed to smolder like a white-hot ember.

We were asked a few more questions; basically trying to confirm what we saw and that it matched up with what Jamie had told them. So here are the basics of it. While trying to get my brother to safety, Jamie had managed to grab Tom's gun and fired it. The first bullet ripped through Tom's arm and may have been the shot that hit Lowell. The second or third shot had struck the other kidnapper, fatally wounding him.

"Normally we wouldn't give this sort of information to children, however I think, under the circumstances, you boys deserve to know that both of the men who had abducted you have been pronounced dead."

Most of the boys cheered however a couple of us knew what that meant. My brother, their friend, had murdered both men and possibly Lowell as well. And then that realization seemed to seep into each mind like a slow moving wave of doom. One by one faces fell, eyes flooded, mouths gasped and my parents hugged me a little tighter.

________________

So, here we all sit waiting, and waiting, and waiting for someone, anyone to come tell us how Lowell's emergency surgery is going.

Right before Mary's father left, Mary and her mom arrived at the hospital along with several others who I didn't know. They brought bottles of water, coffee and much to my surprise, a large picnic basket filled with diapers. They did not stay very long as they were going to take water, coffee, and donuts to the police station next. However, Mary offered to stay with me if I wanted her too but knowing she was going to help the police I told her I had my parents and all my friends with me. But I have to confess it was hard to let her go. I wanted to hold her so badly but I had to be content with a hug and kiss before she and her mother left. A couple of the guys razzed me a bit after she left, about the kiss.

One by one we diaper boys were escorted to a bathroom to be changed by our parents before returning to the fold and continuing our vigil for Lowell.

Amazingly, no one left the hospital. Actually our numbers seemed to increase with each passing minute until there wasn't an empty seat or open spot on the waiting room floor where someone wasn't sitting or standing.

Somewhere around hour four at the hospital I received a good shock. I was sort of lying on my father when I heard a familiar voice.

"Pinkman, Donavan, Utah, I want the three of you on that door. Conrad, Faraday, and Gillman, man the opposite end of the hallway. Hart and Hart you are on my six."

I had perked up when I recognized the voice and sat up in my father's lap.

"Peter?" I croaked and wiped my snotty nose on my bare arm.

I looked into the beaming eyes and wide smile of Peter Alderman and behind him, Max and Johnny.

"Hey Simon!" Peter said and those two words said so much. I heard excitement at seeing me, how sorry he was that it was under these circumstances and even more. "We got word from Principle Freeman and your friend Agent Segal about what had happened. I then got permission to bring down my squad to help keep an eye on you and your friends."

I stood up and nearly fell, as my legs buckled under my weight. Dad had caught me and steadied me. In that same space of time, Peter had taken two quick steps toward me and over top several people on the floor.

"You okay?" Peter asked with a concern I never would have attributed to him in the past but it suited him quite well now.

I willed my legs to work and taking just one step I fell on Peter and began to sob uncontrollably as I told him, "Lowell is still in surgery and they won't tell us anything Peter."

He held me for the longest time until I was able to get control of my emotions somewhat. As I was pulling away from him I saw that I'd blubbered snot and tears all over his shoulder.

"Oh sorry Peter. I ruined your uniform."

"Yeah well, I'll send you the cleaning bill." he said with a smirk and I actually chuckled but then I nearly started to bawl again over the idea that I could laugh when my boyfriend was lying in an operating room. And for all I knew he could be dying.

Once I had regained most of my composure I gave Johnny and Max hugs and then introduced the three of them to my friends and everyone else. My friends from the Banachelli, who I'd shared with them about my past involvements with Peter, displayed mixed emotions toward him. That is until I told them that Peter and I were now best buds and the past was the past. Mom gushed over all three of them and kept saying how grown up they all looked.

The waiting room seemed to gasp as one when Micky cussed loudly, "How'z a bunch'a oversized toy army men supposed to protect us if Madam-M shows up `ere?"

Peter didn't seem to be offended at all as he smiled and said, "I can tell you this much, if she is dumb enough to come to this hospital, she wouldn't get past the parking lot."

"Why's that?" I asked before even knowing I'd thought it.

Max spoke up, "I've never seen so many cops in one place in my life!"

Right then the three boy soldiers Peter had sent to the farthest end of the hallway called out, "Cadet Major Alderman?!"

The entire population of the waiting room turned toward them and saw that they were standing like they were about to put a serious Karate woop'n on Tom.

"That is Agent Segal. Let him through."

I hadn't picked up on the fact that he'd said earlier that both Mr. Freeman and Tom had contacted him until very moment.

"You know Tom?" I asked Peter.

"Long story. I'll tell you about it another time." Peter said in a sort of covertly, side-of-the-mouth, sort of way as Tom walked toward us.

"Cadet Major?" I whispered to Peter, "You get promoted or something?"

"Twice" Peter quickly whispered back.

Wow, Tom looked bad. I mean real bad. His arm was in a sling and heavily bandaged. He was again wearing the eye patch and sporting a hospital gown backward and draped over his shoulders like a cloak. As if shocked with a cattle prod, every last one of us Banachelli boys jumped and mobbed Tom.

"Easy boys!" Tom laughed.

After receiving hugs and greetings from us boys and our parents and such, Tom then addressed Peter.

"Pete," he put a hand on Peter's shoulder, "Thank you for coming down so quickly. After that welcome," Tom thumbed back to the three boy soldiers who were again standing at attention by the doors, "I feel a great relief."

"When I told my commanding officer he personally drove us down here." Peter said with a funny sort of smirk.

"Old blood and guts is here?" Tom asked while looking around the waiting room for someone.

Peter looked around nervously before looking right at me and saying in a desperate tone, "Simon you are my witness. Tom called him that and not me!"

I chuckled again, and again I felt guilty for having a good feeling.

As if on cue, the boys at the opposite end of the hallway called out, "TEN HUT!"

Peter, Max and Johnny spun and snapped to attention so fast I swear I actually heard the snap of their arms as their hands shot to their foreheads in salute.

It took me less than a second to recognize the man as the same one I'd seen back at Pinky's Restaurant when I'd seen Peter for the first time since he was sent away to Pine Valley Military Academy. The older soldier saluted Peter, Johnny, and Max and asked something I did not understand whatsoever.

Peter answered back with, "Sir, yes sir!

"As you both were." He said and saluted Peter and the others before he turned his attention to Tom.

"You look like you've been to hell and back."

Tom smiled and shook the Colonel's hand.

"What this?" Colonel Jackson said while tapping Tom's sling.

Tom moved his arm in the sling and then added, "Just a scratch!"

The two of them began to talk like two old war buddies. It was really weird `cause they were insulting one another left and right while laughing and smiling.

Then the Colonel spotted me and a sense of recognition filled his face.

"Simon Leonard!" he exclaimed and extended his hand for me to shake, "I am sorry we have to meet again under these circumstances."

"Me too Sir." I said solemnly.

For some reason I felt like I needed to call him Sir like Peter had.

My parents had stood and shook hands with Colonel Slater Jackson as did a few other adults I didn't know but who seemed to know Colonel Jackson.

Readdressing me, the Colonel asked, "Has there been any word on your brother Jamie or your friend Lowell?" he asked and I was overly shocked that he knew their names.

Tom then filled him in on the same information that Mary's father had shared with all of us earlier. When he realized we hadn't heard anything about Lowell's condition he wasn't pleased.

Tom then asked, "What do you say for old time sake `Old Blood and Guts' and `The Seagull' team up and see if we can charm a bit of intel out of those angles in white?"

I saw Peter wince at hearing the nickname, `Old Blood and Guts' come out of Tom's mouth.

Colonel Jackson rubbed his chin thoughtfully before asking, "Grenada?"

Tom made a face like he was sucking on a lemon.

"Ooooh!" he groaned and then said, "I don't think I have the strength. How about Laurel and Hardy?"

The Colonel nodded, but I could tell he was still thinking as he said, "Yes I believe that could work but how about a Dean and Frank?"

Tom gave Colonel Jackson the evil eye... I mean with his only one good working eye. "Do you think I can pull off Frank looking like this? Think I look more like Sammy after the accident then I do Frank."

Colonel Jackson said a single word reply that made absolutely no sense at all, but apparently it meant something to Tom.

"Yugoslavia!"

Tom smiled and nodded his head, "Dean and Frank it is then!"

I leaned over to Peter and whispered, "Do you have a clue what they are saying?"

"Beats me!" Peter said out the side of his mouth.

Colonel Jackson smiled and slapped Tom on the arm he'd been shot in and said, "Wait'll they get a load of us!"

He then said to Lowell's parents, "Not to worry. This won't take long at all."

Reverend Vandoan was holding his wife and smiled appreciatively.

The two of them walked down to the nurses' station which was down toward the direction that Tom had entered.

I looked back to my parents who looked just as befuddled as I felt.

I then looked back to Peter, Max, and Johnny and asked, "I'm guessing they are old war buddies or something?"

Max was looking down toward the nurses' station as he said, "Or something."

Everyone in the waiting room sat or stood watching down toward the nurses' station. We couldn't hear what was going on, but what we saw was nothing short of incredible. Within a minute of striking up a conversation, Tom was dancing with one of the ladies while the Colonel was... well I cannot actually describe what it was Colonel Jackson was doing, but it was spectacularly amazing.

A couple minutes later they came strolling back smiling and acting like a couple of college frat boys who just bedded a couple cheerleaders. Colonel Jackson was leaning all over Tom like he was drunk or something while laughing and thumping Tom's chest. I'd never seen Tom smiling like that... to be honest it was kind of frightening.

As they reached where we were all still waiting Tom saluted me and said, "Mission accomplished!"

"And?" Mrs. Vandoan asked.

Getting serious Colonel Jackson and Tom told us that Lowell was still in surgery. However his vitals were good and he should be out of surgery very soon. Lowell's parents broke down as did most everyone else.

Suddenly Tyler piped up and said, "I get it!"

Every eye turned to him as he went on to say to Tom and the Colonel, "Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra!"

Colonel Jackson fired off a sharp salute to Tyler, "Atta-boy! Dean and Frank works every time!"

None of us saw the one Cadet walk up from the other end of the hall except for Peter who somehow seemed to have eyes in the back of his head. He'd turned toward the Cadet just as the boy solider was snapping to attention.

Peter saluted the boy and said, "Report".

The Cadet handed a piece of paper to Peter who read it and then handed it to his commanding officer who in turn read it and then handed it to Tom. Not a one of them showed a single bit of facial cues as to what the note had on it.

Suddenly Tom's face went ashen gray as he crumpled the paper into his hand and looked to his old war buddy.

"I—I'm sorry my old friend, but I'm going to have to handle this personally."

"Anything I can do?" Colonel Jackson said with absolutely none of the playfulness he was exhibiting before.

Tom, while examining the balled up piece of paper, said, "I sure could use someone to watch my six, if you're up to it."

"You've got it!" the Colonel said.

"This isn't going to be..." Tom's voice cracked and I couldn't believe it when I saw a tear fall from his good eye and run down his cheek.

Colonel Jackson looked at Peter and said, "Cadet, you are in charge here. Any trouble report to..." he looked to Tom.

Tom hesitated, still looking at the ball of paper, "Uh, I've put Officer Hansom in charge downstairs."

Tom then reached into his arm sling and pulled out a small walky-talky but before he could say or do anything with it, I asked a question.

"Why does that name sound familiar?"

"What name?" Tom asked.

"Officer Hansom?"

"Oh that's easy!" Peter said, "You met him before in Principle Freeman's office back at Riverside Junior High."

"OOOOOOH YEEEEEAAAAAH! From that day you..." I turned and also pointed to Max and Johnny, "Nearly got expelled."

Peter blushed so red he looked like he had a giant beet for a head. Max simply nodded and poor Johnny looked like he was going to soil himself.

"Could you say that a little louder? I think there is a guy in New Jersey that didn't hear you." Johnny said.

Colonel Jackson smirked and gave me a wink and I had to use my hand to wipe the smile off my face before Peter or one of the others wiped it off for me.

Tom handed the walky-talky to Peter and said, "Channel three. Officer Hansom's already aware of things up here. If you have a situation just say into this..."

Peter took the walky-talky, and quickly finished what Tom was about to say, "Protect the Flag!"

Tom looked honestly stunned and completely astonished as he asked, "How the hell do you know that?"

Colonel Jackson simply beamed down at Peter as he said to Tom, "Damn kid does that to me all the time. Has some sort of sixth sense when it comes to stuff like that."

Tom then motioned to several of the adults including my parents and Lowell's too. They all followed Tom and the Colonel down the hall. I could tell whatever Tom was telling them was very bad. Mom and Lowell's mom both hugged Tom who seemed to be about to cry again.

I looked at Peter and asked, "What was on that piece of paper?"

Peter seemed like he was hesitant to tell, but then looking down the hallway he said, "Several officers and FBI agents have been injured and killed."

Before I could react to that news; suddenly from down the hallway Tom barked out, "Peter!"

I was so startled that I nearly jumped out of my diaper. I looked down at him as he said, "Special Agent Fyer has been reactivated and is on his way. When he gets here you are to report to him! Brief him on the current situation. Simon can tell you who he is and what he looks like."

Peter had snapped to attention the instant his name was called. He barked back, "Sir! Yes Sir!"

Our parents returned to the waiting area and told us that FBI agents and the police had attempted to capture Yolanda Mecum's a.k.a. Madam-M at a warehouse somewhere called Over the Rhine. Apparently they hadn't been prepared for the level of resistance that they encountered. The warehouse had been booby-trapped and several officers and agents had been killed or injured.

I was upset to know that Agent Morris was killed but when my parents told me that Mary's father was one of the officers injured I thought I was going to be sick. I was torn with wanting to be there for Lowell and his parents while also wanting to go to Mary and comfort her.

________________

Fyer arrived looking just like you might expect him to look. He was wearing his signature food covered apron. All he needed was a soup ladle in one hand and a meat cleaver in the other to finish the picture.

"FYER!!" I shouted as I leapt over people on the floor to get to him.

I had told Peter what Fyer would look like and he had already informed the other Cadets to expect Fyer. So when he arrived Fyer was able to come right to us.

"How are you my boy?" Fyer asked me.

"I'm okay; but Lowell isn't." I told him.

Fyer was mobbed by the other Banachelli boys and it was a while before he was able to get us all to calm down and let him breathe. Only a handful of our parents had ever seen Fyer let alone actually met him in person. After he greeted everyone he was briefed by Peter and then there was another ruckus down at the doors Fyer had come through. Fyer, demonstrating just why he's like a giant in a mini-body, managed to part the crowds with the wave of his hands like Moses parting the waters.

"Let her in boys!" Fyer bellowed down to the two Cadets who were keeping a Nun from entering.

A stampede of boys rushed down toward the doors. We had all recognized Sister Sarafina instantly.

There were more hugs and introductions. And while we were all swooning over Sister Sarafina I saw that Peter and Fyer had moved off alone. Though I stayed connected with the conversation around me, I was also very much watching the two of them. Peter who towered over Fyer seemed somehow dwarfed by the shear essence of Fyer. Peter stood mostly motionless as he kept nodding his head while Fyer spoke to him. Fyer on the other hand was being very animated and looking extremely serious. The thought crossed my mind that I really need to learn how to read lips!

We were just starting to calm back down when the surgeon who'd been working on Lowell came out looking extremely tired. He wanted to talk to Lowell's parents alone, but they asked him to share his news to every one of us.

"Lowell is out of surgery." He told us and then added, "He is stable, but still in critical condition."

The entire population of the waiting room gasped.

Thankfully the doctor dumbed it all down for us instead of giving us a bunch of medical mumbo-jumbo.

"The bullet did damage to his heart and his only lung."

"Only lung?" I thought.

"We were able to repair the damage to his heart and lung but like I said, he is still in critical condition. He lost a lot blood which we've replaced. We've done everything we can for him; it's up to him and God now."

As the doctor left with Lowell's parents, Sister Sarafina gathered us all together and had us hold hands as we began to pray.