Understanding my submission 16
After being taken to the piercing parlor and the humiliation at work, the next few weeks were actually quiet in comparison. All I had to do was take care of James' needs and learn what he wanted on a day-to-day basis.
James still had not let me cum. I was locked up except for shaving once a week. He decided that I could just keep my crotch trimmed short so the hair re-growth didn't interfere with the chastity device. I was very thankful to him for that as the itching and the ingrown hairs there around the device got really bothersome. I had ingrown hairs a lot but the shaving was something I needed to keep doing on the rest of my body. He didn't want any hair on me, except my head.
I leaked all the time now when James fucked me, and sometimes even when I was giving him a blowjob. When my dick tried to get hard, it couldn't. For the first three weeks or so after the piercing, James managed to keep my mind off my dick by torturing my nipples. When they had healed enough to where they did not hurt so much I found that my dick really didn't get hard nearly as much. The longer I was in the device the less I thought about my dick. It just became normal to have the device on, and it became just another part of my existence. Its hard (no pun intended) to explain exactly, and I am by no means an expert in explaining things but I just got to where I didn't pay it much attention at all. I mean, I knew it was there. I had to sit to pee all the time now, no cheating on that, and I couldn't play with myself, but really it caused me to focus on other things, namely, James's cock and my mouth or my ass when that was inside me.
I also paid more attention to my nipples and that usually sent me into a frenzy when he played with them now. If he started in playing with my titties, as he called them, it wasn't long before I wanted to be on my knees sucking his cock or on my back with him on top of me fucking. It helped me to get some relief from not being able to jack off through getting fucked. I don't know how but, I just felt that when James was filling me with his cock that it was much easier to ignore the fact of being locked up and not cumming. It was like my nipples were suddenly connected to my hole or my throat. Just rubbing them got me excited and I felt like I needed something filling me. I was paying more attention to my body and what was going on with it instead of focusing on cumming.
So, when it came time to trim my bush one day, Earnest told me that he would leave my dick unlocked for the day.
"You been real good, boy. You haven't complained too much about wearing it, and you pretty much stopped trying to grab your dick when we are fucking," he complimented me. It felt good to hear his praise. "You deserve a day without the lock. But you still need to ask me for permission today if you are gonna cum," he added."
I was ecstatic! It had been six weeks since he locked me down and at the beginning it drove me crazy to think I couldn't get at my dick. I took hold of it and gave it a couple pulls. It felt unusual to touch myself. I would be lying if I said that I didn't get hard rubbing myself, almost immediately. Earnest was standing right there watching and it didn't seem right to just immediately start playing with myself. I reached over and gave him a big kiss and hug. I was going to have fun today, I thought.
"Thank you, Sir," I told him enthusiastically. "This is a great present. Thank you so much."
"Your welcome, boy. Come on, let's see you play with it," James encouraged me. "You waited this long, you can play now. I'm gonna watch."
I was a little taken aback, James never had me play with myself but I guess when I thought about it, I had been locked up most of the time I was with him. I grinned, sheepishly, "Okay, Sir." What a change ,I hadn't expected to be able to do this, and suddenly I could get hard again.
I went into the bedroom and sat on the bed. I ran my hands over my chest. Playing with my nipples, stroking my dick. James started talking dirty to me.
"That's it, boy. Your man's watching you. Play with that little dick. Get it all hard for me. Come on, you can do it."
Listening to him talk got me really hard. Being able to touch my dick was a great feeling. My nipples had become very sensitive after piercing and I really enjoyed the feeling of playing with my dick while playing with them. Knowing I was doing it for James was also an incredible turn-on.
"Pinch those nipples, bitch," James continued. "You know you like I got those pierced for you. You like how they look, don't you?"
"Yes, Sir, I do," I replied honestly.
"Yeah, go on, play with your titties for me," he whispered in my ear as he sat next to me on the bed.
I let go of my dick and began rubbing and twisting my nipples for him. I was pulling them and pinching them. I noticed I began gyrating my hips and ass as I was playing with them. Almost like they were connected. I felt like as if a camera was on me, and I was behaving like one of those women in porn that plays with herself for the camera.
"Put your finger in your mouth, boy. Suck on it for me," James directed. "Get it all wet. Then slip it inside your pussy. Go on, finger fuck yourself. In fact get those first two fingers inside there."
I put my fingers in my mouth and got them all wet. I was looking at James as he was telling me what he wanted to see. I was putting on a show for him, I thought to myself. I reached down to my hole and played with the opening, then slipped them inside. It was all warm and wet already. I began to finger fuck myself while James watched. Twisting my nipple lightly with my other hand. I had to have something in my hole.
"That's nice, bitch. You're doing just fine. Don't forget your clit there, boy. Look it's not even hard anymore. Get it back up, now," James stated.
I glanced down to my dick. It took me a few seconds to realize that he was talking about my dick when he told me not to forget my clit. My dick had shrunk back up while I was playing with my hole and my nipples. There were so many things to think about as he gave me instructions. I guess I had forgotten my dick. I was imagining James slipping his big fat dick inside me, as he played with my nipples. I was imagining clenching his big, black cock deep inside me. I could feel my hole clenching my fingers as I worked them inside me, just like a woman in a porn film might do it I thought.
"That's it. Up on your knees, girl.," James instructed. "Show me that pussy. Stick it out there for me to see. Keep those fingers in there, working it. You getting it all wet aren't you?"
"Yes, Sir. It was already wet," I informed him.
"Yeah, bitch, I tell you all the time, it's wet. You just never realized it. It's just like a pussy, needs a big dick in there to make it feel right."
I moaned thinking about James' cock stuffed in my pussyhole. It was hard for me to think about my ass as a pussy. I tried to use the words that James used, but they still didn't come to my mind, but I was beginning to wonder if it just made more sense. That is how he saw it, or at least what he called it. If that was how he saw it then I needed to see it that way too. Other men had called it that, but I had always tried to ignore their words. Maybe it was time to stop ignoring it and accept the truth in it. I mean, clearly it wasn't a pussy, but it was a hole that men used for getting off.
"A man likes to see a good pussy on a bitch, boy," James said. "Nothing more inviting than a wet, warm hole for a man's cock, boy. Yours is about the wettest hole I've ever seen on a faggot, boy. You really do have a cunt there. Squeeze those fingers tight. Feel that muscle tighten up that hole. That feels good on a man's dick, boy. You remember that when I'm fucking you. I want that cunt working and milking my big dick."
My ass was facing James. I was on my knees, with my back arched, so he had a good view of my hole, I mean my pussy. My fingers were inserted there and I was working them back and forth, wishing I had James' cock there instead.
"Yeah, that looks more like a pussy each day, boy. Those lips are getting nice and big when something is inside you. You open up just like a real pussy now. I'm getting that thing trained like it should be. You just needed some regular attention to it for it to be working properly," James enthused.
I put my head on the bed to support myself. First, I used my hand to reach back and feel my pussy. I wanted to know what James meant by talking about my lips. I could feel that it really did feel that way. My hole had spread open and felt like there were lips there. I was fascinated that my hole would spread and release, gobbling up my fingers almost, as I moved them in and out. I moved my hand back and took hold of my dick. It had shrunk up again after I let it go. It was all covered in my own slime that was leaking from it, just from my own fingers in my pussy. I soon had it back hard again.
That's it bitch, get that clit hard. You've been waiting to get off for awhile now," James reminded me. "Do it for me, boy. Get on your back. I want to see you when it shoots boy. "
I turned onto my back. James was watching me, sitting there on the bed. He wasn't naked or anything, he was dressed, just sitting there with me, watching me. Hew was hard though, I could see his hard cock in his pants. My legs were drawn up and my fingers were back in my pussy. I was fingering myself as I played with my dick. I wanted to cum. Knowing he was watching me and knowing it had been so long. Then James surprised me. I guess my eyes were closed, but the next thing I knew, his fingers were playing with my nipples. Just stroking them, not roughly, just pinching or flicking them. It was too much though. My hips started bucking, trying to get my fingers in deeper. Thinking that it was a cock in there and not just my own fingers.
"That's it boy, see how it is? Playing with your titties makes that pussy want more, doesn't it," he asked
"ohhhh, oh yes, Sir. Ohhh goddddd, that is so nice Sir. Thank you," I told James.
"That's it, girl. Move those hips, grind that pussy as deep as you can get. Play with that clit till it shoots, boy."
James moved and took my head in his lap. His hands moved to my chest and he cupped my chest as if they were tittles, running his hands under them and then pinching on the nipples. I got to feeling I was a porn bitch again. I couldn't hold back any longer. Between not cumming for several weeks and fingers in my hole and James running his hands over my chest, I lost it. Cum erupted from my dick, shooting to my chin, then spraying my chest. It was a big load, after all that time. I was moaning, and my pussy clenched down on my fingers, making me think that was how James' dick felt when I clenched around it.
James patted my chest. "Good boy. Good bitch, cumming for your man after all this time."
When I woke up, about an hour had passed. I got out of bed and started in on things I had to do that day. It was Saturday so laundry needed washing, vacuuming needed to be done, all the usual stuff I had to do on the weekend.
As I was taking care of the stuff, I did notice the difference in not having the plastic cock locking device on my dick. I felt lighter. There wasn't the constant feel of weight around on my cock. It wasn't that it weighed all that much, but the difference was noticeable. Plus my panties fit better and weren't stretched funny. One of things I thought funny about the device was that it actually made my dick and crotch look bigger in my pants. It pushed everything into the front of my pants and bulged out, where if my parts were just left alone, they didn't generally show in my jeans. So even though it looked like I was hung or had a big package in certain pants, in reality I had nothing there, because I couldn't use it anyway. It made me chuckle sometimes when I thought about it. I tried to wear lose fitting pants most days, but sometimes James had me wearing tight pants and my bulge was obvious, despite the fact that it was useless to me. All of this meditation on these things was a lot to think about. Did any of these changes really mean anything to me? Did they mean anything to James? Did I think too much?
James was gone when I was doing the chores. I was dressed, as he wanted; just in panties and a "wifebeater" style t-shirt that hung loose. There had gotten to be a lot of comfort in the chores. I hadn't really thought of them before, or if I had it was as a task, not a pleasure. Now they just were chores, not something to be desired or something to be avoided. It was an expectation, and I accepted that it was my task to complete them. They had become part of my livelihood, part of my way of living. When I was doing them it gave me time to be aware of other things, other feelings, and thoughts.
When James returned later in the day, I made a good dinner. We finished it and James was looking at me expectantly.
"What do you want, boy?" James asked me during dinner.
"What do you mean, Sir?" I was a bit confused by his question.
"What do you want?" he repeated.
"Do you mean in general, Sir? Do you mean what I want in life?" I asked.
"What do you want, boy?" James did not elaborate at all and I was getting concerned that I might make a mistake in my answer to him, but he didn't give me any guidance in answering him.
"Well, I want you, Sir," I started to explain but James interrupted.
"What do you want, boy?" he asked again.
What did I want? "I want to serve you, Sir," I replied this time. He didn't say anything and just looked at me. I guessed I needed to continue. "I want to make you happy, Sir," I tried as an answer.
"Trying to make me happy, will only lead to your disappointment, boy. What makes me happy is different at different times. You won't know ahead of time everyday what will make me happy. What do you want?" he asked again.
Now I was confused even more. I thought James wanted to be pleased, to be happy.
"I want to look good for you, Sir. I want to be a good boy for you. I want to be obedient. I want to know what is right for you," I was grasping now to figure out what he wanted.?
"Yes, I understand that bitch, but what do you want?"
"It doesn't matter what I want, Sir. It is more important for me to want what you want," I answered this time.
James laughed. "Well, that is true, most of the time. I find amusement in playing with you, but still, there is the question there, in all that, of what you want, boy. You need to know what you want. In order to be happy, in order to try to make me happy, in order to be a good boy, in order to be obedient, you need to know what you want. Otherwise you will just continue grasping at straws in life, boy. Come on, what I want right now, is to please myself. I want that mouth and ass."
James took my hand and led me over to the sofa. He pushed me onto my knees in front of him. "Take my dick out, boy," he stated firmly. I could see his cock already half hard in his khaki pants. I reached up and unbuttoned the top, then unzipped his pants. I pulled on the legs and they fell to his ankles. I reached again to grasp his boxer briefs, seeing the outline of his growing piece of dark meat. I had no sooner begun pulling his under wear down when he started to piss. Just a dribble at first, I let go of the underwear and grabbed his cock, aiming it at my mouth. I wrapped my lips quickly around his cockhead, so no more would spray the room.
"Good boy," were his only words.
I swallowed as fast as I could. His stream increased as soon as my lips were wrapped around his cock. I opened my throat and let it flow down. It was hot, and strong tasting, but I knew not to gag or I would sputter piss that I would have to clean up later. When his stream finally slowed, he pushed forward, grabbing the back of my head, thrusting past my open throat continuing until he was deep inside me. He held his cock there, his balls pushing up against my lips. He held himself there until I began to want a breath. I began to think I would never breathe again, when he let go and pulled back, letting me gasp deeply. Long strands of my own saliva hung between my lips and his fully hard cock. He pulled me forward and bent me over the sofa. My hands and knees supported me. He reached for my ass cheeks and spread them apart. He placed his wet cock at my entrance, grabbed my shoulder with one hand and firmly drove his cock deep inside that hole.
"Take it all the way, boy," was his simple statement.
I focused on his dick. Relaxing as he drove into me, grasping with my muscles as he pulled it back. Milking his cock as he liked. He held on to my shoulders with both hands, pulling me onto his cock as he deep as he wanted before loosening his grip as he pulled back. He fucked me neither slowly nor fast, but at some pace he seemed to be enjoying. He varied the depth of his thrusts, Sometimes teasing my hole with little thrusts, forcing me to grasp his dick and let go quickly, then alternating with deep, full thrusts and completely pulling out. He continued this for several minutes, until I was thrusting back automatically, seeking his cock inside me, moving my ass back toward him.
James pulled his dick completely out and slapped my ass hard with his hand. "Turn over, boy," he commanded. I did, and he pulled my ass up into the air, almost folding me in half, placing my legs on his shoulders. He reached out with his hands and began playing with my nipples, twisting and pulling, leaning over to chew on them. It felt great, but something wasn't right, then it dawned on me his cock was not inside me. I was thrusting back trying to feel his cock in me, but it was bouncing around on top of me, still rock hard. My hips and ass were squirming around, looking for his dick.
"Play with my nipples, boy. I like that too," James said.
I began running my hands over his chest, rubbing his pecs and his nipples, gently twisting them in my fingers. Pinching them to make them hard. James continued to twist and pull on mine, gently, then harder. I was squirming, I wanted his cock inside me.
"Please, Sir. Please…" I managed to get the words out.
"What, boy? What do you want?" James asked.
"Oh, god. I want your cock, Sir. I want to feel your cock in me'" I stated simply.
"Is that it?" James asked. "Is that all you want?"
"Please, yes, Sir. I want your cock," I begged.
"You're getting there boy. You're beginning to understand what you want," James said.
I thought briefly about it. I had not forgotten what he had been asking, but it had slipped my mind while he had been fucking me. Was that what I wanted? Just his cock?
James wasn't saying anymore though. He slipped back inside me and I felt whole again. He continued fucking me, playing with my nipples, getting me squirming, making me thrust back toward his forward motions. Sliding in as far as he could before pulling back to repeat the process. I couldn't help myself, I did want his cock now. When he was inside me I leaked. I got release, even if I wasn't hard. I had become a complete submissive bottom to his driving, dominant top. My satisfaction was now based on his cock, and it WAS what I wanted. I could feel my body relaxing and at ease when he was inside, and I could feel my brain zone into ecstasy when he had been using my body for his release. After several minutes, James roared and shoved hard, bouncing on my hips and planting his seed deep inside me. I could feel his cock throbbing, and I was squeezing, trying to get all of his load out of his dick and inside me.
James collapsed momentarily. He was smiling, enjoying the feeling, and so was I. I felt fantastic, having used my hole to get James off inside. He pushed up on my legs leaving his cock in me and my legs on his shoulders.
"Okay, bitch. I'm gonna finish that piss I started earlier, James whispered.
With that, I suddenly felt a warmth inside me. He was pissing in me, emptying his bladder. Not down my throat now, but into my ass. Washing inside me with his water. I began cramping immediately. I shook my head no. No, I couldn't do this. James just smiled and shook his head yes.
"Better squeeze, boy. You'll have to clean up the sofa if you don't squeeze," he stated to me.
I squeezed tightly, despite wanting to get up, despite suddenly feeling very full. When James began slipping back, pulling his cock from me, I sort of panicked. There was no way I wanted to spill any.
"Squeeze bitch, I'm pulling out," and he did. I could feel my hole clamp shut and I reached to feel if anything dripped. It didn't. Then James slapped my ass and said to go take care of that then come back. I fell on my knees in front of him. I took his cock in my mouth and sucked it clean of his piss, cum, and my hole. "Thank you, Sir. Thank you for everything," I exclaimed before quickly getting up.
I ran off to the bathroom and let loose of his piss. When I returned James took my cock and locked it back up into the plastic device. I was startled to see him placing it back on me again, even though it was nighttime now.
"You didn't even cum during that did you, boy?" James stated, more than asking. "Didn't even think about it did you?"
I considered the reality of his questions. "No, sir, I didn't think about it. I just wanted your cock."
"That's right, boy. Just wanted my cock. Didn't want to cum. Didn't even get hard. I'm proud of you boy. You did good today."
I smiled. James was pleased. My dick was locked again, but it didn't matter. I didn't want to cum, and I knew what I wanted now. I wanted his cock.