A Day Without Rain

Delirium

Another story by Miro Miro

 

 

Please Do NOT read this story if it offends you, I based this story on experiences that I personally had but have not yet shared, I have also shared certain things that a friend of mine experienced during his coming out, I hope you all enjoy it BTW, don't forget to donate to Nifty, they do an amazing job and should be supported!

So I hadn't been myself lately, I got to where I wasnt even the shadow of what I was, it was getting really hard for me to do anything, my Xbox was collecting dust, I didn't really speak to anyone on the phone, I didn't really hang out with anyone and I even quit sports. I called coach and told him that I was quitting the team. He sounded very disappointed in me and told me that he was shocked that I was quitting so suddenly. He wanted to speak to my parents about it but I lied and told him that they would call him soon to explain, they didn't even know I was quitting baseball.

I still can't find the words to describe what I felt or why I felt the way I did, there were times that I thought about a friend of mine like Scott, or Brad and I completely freaked out. I didn't want to lose their friendship and the thought really freaked me out. Scott had been calling me a lot but I just sent it to voice mail, it was full and I didnt even care about listening to them. Brad was a bit more proactive than Scott and dropped in on the day that it happened, a day that I will never forget.

I was really surprised to see him, I wasn't happy to see him, just surprised. It felt like a chore to muster up the energy just to speak to him, it was so odd to feel that way especially about Brad. Mom and dad let him in without asking me first which is okay I guess. I was in my room just staring up at the ceiling when in walks Brad. I turned to see who it was and saw him standing there, he kinda looked surprised to see me. The first words out of his mouth said it all "You look like shit" he said.

"I know" I mumbled, he closed the door behind him and sat on my bed. We didn't say a word to each other for a while, the whole time I was in a distant planet, I was thinking about random things and not really paying any attention to him.

"Come on bro...cheer up" He begged.

I sighed loudly and looked at him in his eyes, he was looking very tenderly at me, it wasn't a pity look that he was giving me, it was more of a "I'm sorry you are going through this" look and I really appreciated it. I can't stand being pitied so I was happy that he wasn't looking at me that way. I blinked and felt tears welling up, I swallowed really hard and sighed again "I can't", I said as tears began to flow.

He didn't say anything else, he just hugged me tightly but I pulled away when I remembered about my little issue. I was beginning to figure out why I was feeling the way I was feeling and realized that I really disliked myself, I felt defective being gay, I felt as if I was broken or something and didn't deserve friends like Brad or Scott. He was a bit offended when I pulled away but immediately realized that I was struggling with something. "It's okay bro, whatever it is I'm here" He said as he reached for me again. This time he kicked his shoes off and laid next to me, he pulled me into a hug and this time I allowed him to embrace me. I rested my head on his chest, I closed my eyes and concentrated on the rhythmic beat of his heart. It was soothing to hear not only his heart but his breathing, I took a deep breath and enjoyed his smell.

"I'm gay" I blurted out suddenly.

"I know" He replied without missing a beat.

I lifted myself off the bed and looked at him in his eyes, there was no anger or disgust "How?" I asked interested as to how he was able to tell I was gay.

"I dunno, just do I guess, I've always known, actually I've known for a long time" He said as he pulled me back into an embrace. He gave me a kiss on the top of my head and for the first time in a long time I started to feel okay, I didn't feel as sad anymore and it was a great feeling. I stuck my hand inside of his shirt and began to rub his chest, I didn't even consciously do it, it was just something that happened and I was glad when he didn't find it repulsive. It felt great to feel the contours of his chest and the beginnings of muscles. I stuck my finger inside his bellybutton causing him to giggle some, I giggled too and it felt good. He surprised me when he pushed me off of him and leaned in and gave me a kiss on my lips. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the contact, his lips were soft and warm, they warmed my entire being causing me to smile for the first time in weeks.

"You liked that huh?" He asked me when we pulled apart.

"Yah..." I whispered.

"Come on...you need some sun" He said as he got up and pulled me with him. I reluctantly put some shoes on and walked downstairs surprising my parents. Brad told them that he was taking me out for a walk and that we would be back later. I hesitated for a moment but decided to take a walk with him. When I stepped out of my house things seemed weird, not in a bad way but just different, it's really hard to describe it but things around my neighborhood felt different. We didn't have a particular destination we were walking to, we just kept walking and walking and to be honest it was beginning to cheer me up a bit.

The sun was warming my entire body inside and out and it felt nice, it felt as if the chill that was inside of me was beginning to thaw but life has a funny way of kicking you while you are down doesn't it. As we were walking past these older kids I heard someone yell at us something that pissed Brad off, I didn't hear what they said but it pissed Brad off to the point that he turned around and started to argue with them. One of them turned to me, spat, and called me a rapist. I was floored by his comment.

"What did you say?" I yelled at him now beginning to feel complete rage by his comment.

"You heard me, you're a fucking rapist and need to get your head smashed in" The older kid said.

"Who the fuck did I rape?" I yelled really loud.

Suddenly all hell broke loose, I saw one of the kids swing at Brad and then I felt a punch hit me on the side of my head. I quickly spun around and saw Ashley's older brother standing there with his fists balled up.

"What the fuck!?" I yelled right before the bastard punched me again, this time it landed right above my left eyebrow immediately opening it up. I thought I was sweating and when I went to wipe what I thought was sweat from my forehead I saw that my hand was full of blood.

I quickly looked to Brad and saw that he was fighting the older kid and it looked to be an even match, I then felt another punch come at me but this time I moved quick enough for him to miss. I quickly took a step forward and to his left side, with my right fist clenched I aimed for his chin landing directly on it. I heard a loud smack as my fist made direct contact. I quickly moved to my right and with my left fist I hit him on his sternum causing him to gasp for air.

I jabbed him with my right and then with my left but he blocked it and hit me again. Before we knew it I was on the ground with a knee on my back, I was in pain, blood was starting to pool underneath me from where Ashley's brother had cut me open. I felt my arms being pulled from behind then heard the clicking sounds of handcuffs. I was roughly picked up and lead to a squad car, I couldn't believe how angry I was with the whole situation.

I looked at Brad and saw that he was out cold, I guess the other kid had gotten the best of him and I howled in pain, I spat out threats and curses at the idiots that started the fight, the police officer that had arrested me opened the door and told me to shut my mouth but I cursed at him as well. He closed the door back up and immediately walked to the driver's side door and got in. He started to say stuff on the radio that I couldn't comprehend.

A few minutes later my door was opened by the same police officer but this time he had paramedics with him, I peeked around and saw that Brad was being attended to. I was glad for that but was hurting pretty intensely that he had been knocked out. The paramedic was saying stuff that I couldn't comprehend, or maybe I didn't want to comprehend. He bandaged me up and lead me to the back of the ambulance. I saw mom and dad drive up and immediately ran to me, mom said something but the cop didn't let her get close.

"We'll see you at the station son" my dad yelled as the paramedic closed the door of the ambulance. The drive to the hospital was quick, it probably took them 10 minutes to drive me there and when we arrived I was rushed into an empty room thingy where they closed the curtains around me. The cop who had arrested me was still standing there staring at me. He didn't say anything, just stared, I looked away because he was really pissing me off.

The doctor came in and told me I needed some stitches, he looked at my wound, cleaned it up, shot me up with meds and stitched me up. He then lead me into the MRI room where they scanned my brain for possible concussions, after I was cleared I was driven to the police station where my dad was sitting accompanied two other men. Dad got up and tried to hug me but was immediately stopped by that asshole cop, they asked me to sit down but I refused. Dad gave me a look that let me know I had better stay calm so I sat down.

They began to talk some random shit that at first I didn't understand, I guess they started to ask me questions but I was so worried about Brad that I didn't care what they were asking me.

"Son? Are you going to answer?" Another cop asked me.

"What?" I replied.

"Why were you fighting? We need to hear your side of the story" He asked.

I began to relay everything that had occurred, I told them how Brad came to my house for a visit and asked me to take a walk with him. I told them everything that had occurred especially about being called a rapist. He was furiously writing things down and I noticed that he underlined the word "rapist" on the notebook he was scribbling on.

"Why were you called a rapist?" The cop asked.

"Shit if I know, that's what pissed me off" I replied.

Dad admonished me immediately and asked me to speak properly and respectfully, I felt bad for embarrassing him that way so I apologized and answered the question more respectfully.

The cop immediately got up from his chair and left with dad and the other man I learned was my attorney. They came back a few minutes later with a coke for me to drink, the cop took my cuffs off and patted me on the head.

"I spoke to the other boys and got their side of the story, apparently...let's see here...apparently Allen told his friends...umm...Robert McCoy and Lewis Brown that you are gay, now is that correct?" The cop asked me. I felt my face go red hot and knew that I was as red as a fire truck.

"Don't worry son, you can be honest" The cop encouraged me.

I just nodded yes.

"You've got to speak...for the record" He said pointing up at the ceiling.

I looked up and saw a camera "Yes, I'm gay" I said now beginning to feel faint.

"So apparently Allen's sister Ashley told him that you broke up with her because you were gay, is that correct?" The cop continued.

"Yes sir".

"Allen lied and told his friends that you had raped his sister Ashley because you were gay and wanted to be with a girl to see whether or not you were truly gay, right now he is being charged for battery with bodily injury since he caused injury to you" The cop said pointing to my bandaged eyebrow.

"Robert McCoy will also be charged with battery with bodily injury for hurting Bradley, DON'T worry he is doing just fine, just a bump on the head" He said noticing that at the mention of Brad's name I flinched.

"The other boy will not be charged since he cooperated fully and did not participate in the assault, you and your friend Brad were defending yourselves so you will not be charged, sir, you can pursue this in civil court if you would like, I will finish my report and will provide you with a copy" He said to my dad.

They continued to talk about some legal crap but I was in a faraway land, my biggest fear had just been realized, I was ready to have some flak for being gay but damn get arrested and get my eyebrow cut? It was too much for me, I went completely numb.

That night I felt horrible, I felt like it was my fault that Brad had gotten hurt, my perversion had caused my friend to be hurt and I felt horrible about it. I tried to sleep but couldn't, I was hurting in several ways, physically I was beat, but emotionally I was devastated. I got up from my bed and walked outside, I wanted to get some fresh air, I laid down on my hammock and looked up at the sky, I don't remember what time it was but I was told that it was close 1 AM. I remember thinking that life was over and that things were going to be impossible to handle, I don't know what came over me but it was as if I was being led by invisible hands.

I got up from the hammock and quietly walked into my parent's bathroom, I placed my ear against their bedroom door before but heard nothing, I figured they were asleep so I sneaked into their bathroom. I opened their medicine cabinet up, took some random bottles up and stuck them in my pocket. I went to the fridge, got me a box of apple juice and walked back up to my room. I took the bottles out and without reading them emptied them on my hand and swallowed a handful. I nearly choked on them since they were so many but with the help of the apple juice I was able to choke them down.

I laid in my bed and looked up at my ceiling, the stars and planets that dad had put up were glowing, they were pretty cool to look at. Then I looked at my door and saw mom standing there, she had a very peculiar look on her face, it was a look I had never seen before. I remember she was screaming something and was calling dad. I remember that dad came in, actually he ran in and reached for me. My stomach was feeling like it was in a knot and I began to gag but nothing was coming up. Dad was looking at the empty bottles and was yelling at mom to call the ambulance. I didn't know why they were freaking out like they were, it was as if they cared about their gay son, but how could they? I was broken, I was defective, why would they love me and want to help me?

Then my dad did something that freaked me out, he opened my mouth and shoved his fingers down my throat, I tried to gag but nothing came out, mom being a doctor calmed down enough to help dad. She was screaming and yelling at me but I was really sleepy, I wanted to sleep and for the first time in a long time I felt peaceful, I felt awesome actually. I smiled at them, don't know why, just felt like it and closed my eyes but they kept slapping my face. I was trying hard to keep my eyes open because they kept asking me to but they felt really heavy, as if I had some weights on them.

I finally closed my eyes and fell asleep, it felt awesome actually, my pain was gone. I woke up a few days later and fuck you want to talk about thirst? I was so friggin thirsty it felt as if I had sandpaper for a tongue. I remember opening my eyes and being confused, I was expecting to be home in my bed because last thing I remembered was going to sleep in my bed but then I remembered mom and dad trying to keep me from falling asleep.

I looked around and saw a bunch of people asleep, mom and dad were there and so was Raven with his little brother. I tried to say something but I couldn't, I started to cough instead and that's when the pain began. I grunted and tried to speak again but couldn't, I kept coughing instead.

Mom shot up from where she was at and ran to me, she was crying and calling for the nurse while she adjusted some stuff that was beeping. She raised my bed up so I could sit. "Wa-Water please" I mumbled finally. Mom started to laugh while dad handed me a cup full of water, by this time everyone else was awake and surrounding my bed. I saw Raven and my heart fluttered but he looked angry "Asshole!" he yelled and ran out the room, I was confused but started to chuckle.

"What's his problem?" I croaked.

Dad chuckled to himself and wiped a tear, then it all dawned on me, I tried to kill myself. I felt so horrible, I felt horrible for putting everyone through what I had done. I began to cry, I tried to apologize but I couldn't, I couldn't keep my sobbing down, I just cried until I was so worn out I fell asleep again.

I woke up a few hours later when a nurse came in to feed me some broth, I looked around and only saw Raven there watching some TV.

"Raven?" I called out to him but he didn't even look my way.

The nurse looked at me and winked then patted me on the head, she sat me up and pulled this little cart thingy on the one side of my bed and pulled the tray closer. I waited until she left before trying to speak to Raven.

"Babe? Please answer me" I said the moment the nurse left. "I love you..."

He turned to look at me and gave me a mean look then went back to watching TV, he looked so adorable, even as mad as he was.

"Please? Pretty please? I'll share my beef flavored water" I said trying to bribe him. Lucky for me that got a chuckle from him but he refused to look at me. Then I decided to up the ante, I got the sheets off of me and lifted my gown, I wanted to show him my dick for a better bribe but I nearly passed out when I saw it.

"ARGGGGGGH! HOLY FUCK!" I yelled when I saw a white looking thing sticking out the head of my dick. That got Raven's attention because he immediately rushed to my side "What wrong!?" he asked me looking really scared.

"What's wrong with my dick!?" I yelled.

Raven looked down and began to laugh, and I'm not talking about a small, simple laugh, oh no, the dude was laughing so hard he was tearing up. I was confused because I didn't know what was so funny to him. When he finally calmed down he covered me back up and tried to speak but would start to giggle instead.

All the noise attracted the attention of the nurse who came in to see what all the yelling was about. Raven pointed at my crotch and just said "You explain" while he continued to giggle.

"You mean the catheter?" she asked him, he just nodded yes in response.

"Since you were sleeping you couldn't go to the bathroom, we had to keep you hydrated with some IV's so we had to insert a catheter, it collects your urine that's all it is" She said as she patted my leg.

"So it's okay?" I asked worried that it had broken or something.

"Yeah of course it is, you will be getting it removed shortly so don't worry" She assured me. She left shortly after that leaving me and Raven alone once again.

He looked at me and smiled really big, I reached out for him and he immediately came into my arms and we hugged for a long time. There was plenty to talk about and I knew that he was upset, I wanted him to express himself freely so I knew that I would have to be accepting of whatever he had to say. As for me I had woken up with a desire to face the world, I woke up feeling strong and not so alone anymore. I was beginning to feel better but I knew that I would have to make things right with my loved ones.

Before I end I would like to answer some Emails that I got asking me whether or not this story is true. The characters are based on real people, for example, I modeled Raven after a friend of mine who is gay and really awesome, I used his real name because I like it. Dylan is modeled after myself and after some of the struggles. In my other story "Once Upon a Night" I hinted about going through some hard times, these are the hard times that I spoke about. Everything that Dylan is struggling with is everything I went through, I went through some very dark times because I wanted to be liked by everyone. I wanted to be everyone's friend and I learned the hard way that it is impossible to be liked by everyone.

The way Raven comforts Dylan is the way that Luke (My boyfriend) comforted me, everything that I have written about truly happened, it was an ugly time in my life and I was in a very dark place.For those that I've been corresponding with this was the reason why I was a super senior, it was because I had to take a break from school because of my selfish act. BTW, the dream dust part of the story is also true, my parents were that neat, and still are!

Chapter 9 Coming Soon!