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About this Story
Chapter 5 is here.
14 Jan 2013
Chapter 5 - Faking
It was the end of November. Both of us had turned thirteen. I felt that I was more like a man, and that I couldn’t even begin to describe that pride that rose in me when the occasional late-autumn sun faintly shone in benediction. But more importantly, I was glad that Max and I were still going strong, and that it felt like we were closer each day.
We came up with a plan to stop the rumors about him among some of the older kids. If it all worked out well, it would resolve things once and for all. This anti-gay thing isn’t as big as it was in the old days when gruesome hate crimes used to be mundane, but prejudice isn’t just going to fade away that easily because it is a part of human nature.
It was really a simple plan, but as long as we were able to tolerate the things about to come, it would all work out just fine. We would do what most thirteen-year-olds do best – going on dates. With girls.
So after math class one day, we found the perfect opportunity.
“Jessica’s there. Go get her,” I whispered softly into Max’s ears.
Slowly he approached her, and needless to say, he equipped that compelling confidence of his. Leaning on the lockers and tilting my head sideways, I was to fulfill my task and make sure Gregory Simons was looking, as he now was from the other side of a half-empty corridor.
“So…Jessica. You wanna go out this Saturday for Life of Pi? I…” “Sure.” Seriously? Could it be any easier?
Max continued, “Great! And as I was saying, I heard the 3D was good.” No one could be not influenced by his confident appearance when he was determined enough. And Gregory Simons was watching closely; we got his attention. Bravo. My boyfriend just fixed himself a date with Jessica Fanning.
Now it all depended on me. I promised I’d go with him, but before I could satisfy that promise I needed to find myself a date. And though I didn’t share this concern with Max, I was pretty sure I wasn’t getting anywhere with my unbelievable shyness. I would stammer. Hell. Looking a girl in the eyes was already a hard enough thing for me to do. But at least I had my target – Melissa. And Max promised he’d help me with everything he got.
And so the day came (it was actually the same day). That afternoon, Max and I got to the school canteen, where Melissa was sitting near the corner, with one of her friends – I forgot her name. I didn’t need words to send Max a message, because he was already on it, approaching and soon distracting the “friend”, which would make things a hell lot easier for me.
At the meantime, I hid wordlessly and sat down on one of the tables out of her current sight, with the crowd as my cover in case she did a 180-degree swivel. That didn’t happen, and with a few sentences I didn’t catch, Max was successful in directing the only obstacle to somewhere else.
His eyes met mine, and I knew it was time. It was all up to me now. I was going to do everything right, and set us up with a legit double date, a perfect maneuver to get Max out of Simons’, and thus the bigger kids’ suspicion zone. As I neared the table, I kept repeating inside my head that I was doing this for Max, and doing this for us.
“Hey Melissa,” I smiled. She nodded, and I sat beside her, keeping a somewhat safe distance to avoid freaking her out and scaring her off.
A few seconds of silence was accompanied by the great amount of noises in the surroundings, and I finally continued, “You know, Melissa, I really like you...will you go out with me?”
Embarrassment. Shock. Fleeing the scene. Slapping me on the face. Well, none of that happened, and even now I’m still puzzled by the fact that I actually did it. In that brief moment, I felt like I witnessed her face blushing and everything got quite exciting after that.
“Sure! Sure!” She laughed, leaning slightly forward, our faces inches apart. I almost pushed her away driven by a sense of guilt. I knew somewhere in that room Max had to be watching, and imagining how heartbroken he would be, I almost broke out of control and did the most stupid thing possible. Fortunately Melissa did manage to control herself at the last minute, and fell back a little, continuing with her food and, I believe, a hundred thoughts that raged through her mind like an unstoppable hurricane.
Excitedly she said, “So where would we go? Can I know yet? Is it a secret?” Do girls ask so many questions like this? For a second I thought I was the less nervous one. And somehow amid all that craziness, it was strangely an environment relaxing enough for me not to display my beyond-belief shyness.
“No, Melissa,” I calmly said, “we’re only going to catch a movie this weekend, with Max and her date.”
“Sure! Sure!” She nodded and surprised me with a kiss on the cheek. I knew she was a girl but still my face reddened. A few of the tables around us were paying close attention to our little play over here, repeating my name from time to time like I was some kind of love-struck idiot, or some kind of God. I didn’t know. Suddenly I blushed, checking whether Max was seeing all this. I sighed in relief when I found out that he was nowhere to be seen in the room.
It took Melissa a minute or two to return to her normal state, though somewhere in her eyes there remained great expectations. But then she finally calmed down, turned and looked me in the eyes. I was really about to escape, but both my eyes and I didn’t know how to get away without seeming awkward.
“Dave…can I ask you a question?” Melissa asked. God. Please. This had to be Saturday. Everything had been fixed. I wouldn’t know what to do if she wasn’t okay with Saturday. “Dave, I’ve heard some things from my brother…you know…that Max is…”
Already? Was this anti-gay thing everywhere, and spread through every single kid? But then I couldn’t rule out the fact that she might be not judging, but simply questioning out of concern. I didn’t want her to say that word still. If anyone had to say it, I would do it. “Gay?” I finished her sentence, making sure I added a questioning and I-know-everything tone to the best of my ability. And so it worked, as shown by Melissa being taken by surprise and going quiet. “It’s not true. I know, but trust me, he’s not. He’s like my brother. I know him.”
And that convinced her. This whole time my eyes were on hers doing the highest form of magic, and I wondered where the shy David disappeared to. I guess when it came to protecting Max, I was a different person. Scary yet interesting. I wrote a mental note to tell Max this very detail and made him love me just a little bit more.
Stepping out of the school that day was satisfying beyond description. We couldn’t wait for Saturday, but we couldn’t wait for the beach even more. Melissa was a person that I could easily get comfortable with, but running on the beach with Max was a difficult kind of life. It was rejuvenating, still so refreshing even though it wasn’t the first time we rolled on the sand, splashed water on each other and buried each other in sand. The winter winds were ferocious, but it wasn’t full winter yet. Not to mention that our love was warm enough to drive away the chills.
Engaging in a constant battle with his tongue was heartwarming. Floating on the ocean, he rubbed my hardness lovingly and without stop, until the sun went down and the night took over reluctantly. Max had dinner in our house before returning home. I could hardly remember a November day when he wasn’t having dinner with us.
I walked him home, and we took the long path. The extra-long path actually. Well, it wasn’t really a path. We just walked around town, passing by the beach and admiring its emptiness in its winter days, watching the details of the malls from a distance and fearing its hollowness. Then we slowly paced through the boulevard, speaking of our dreams, our warm fingers interwoven.
“Do you think you’ll eventually get tired of me?” I asked.
“Maybe when you’re old.”
“But then you’ll be old too.”
“True,” Max realized, as if dumbfound, “so I guess we’re okay.” We laughed. Then our tongues joined automatically. When I finally let him go, Max told me it was too late and that he had to run home. Standing there in an almost empty sidewalk, I saw his figure gradually reduce into nothingness. It was suddenly colder then, like it was every time I saw him leave my world. Of course, reminding myself that it was only temporary still couldn’t help. Next time I just wouldn’t watch.
Days after it was the last weekend of November, a day to remember. This would be the day for us to declare our victory. This would be the day when the rumors would start to spread, the rumors about Max and I going on a double date with Jessica and Melissa, two fairly popular girls at school.
The queue to get the tickets was surprising not long, probably because we decided to go for a suburban theater because we heard some of the older kids from school would be there. We needed an audience. The bigger the better.
Max and I would pay for the tickets, and we spared some money for the girls to get popcorn. We would definitely pay for everything, because we were the gentlemen. More like spending this money would solve all our troubles. Whatever.
Choosing Life of Pi was a strategic move carefully planned to get us the greatest amount of audience, and I was sure a lot would be from our school. 3D effects. Great reviews and everything. And a PG-rated flick. Perfect.
Four tickets in my pockets, two cups of popcorns on our hands, Jessica, Melissa, Max and I entered the cinema without making too much noise. Considerate teenagers on an ordinary double date. What could go wrong? Well, everything. It was wrong in its nature, because it was just a show instead of date. But for the greater good, all this was necessary.
Our seats were in the last row, with the wall right behind us. Max and I decided this was the best place to observe. And we didn’t even have to worry about attention, because we’d already run into Gregory Simons in the entrance. Now we could see him near the bottom, the rows closest to the screen. And he did saw Max, and his hand gripping Jessica’s hand, tight and passionately. Luck was on our side. Love was on our side.
The lights were soon off. It was complete darkness. Before the movie, we were given a couple of movie trailers. I guessed we didn’t really pick our seats when we walked in the row; now Max and I sat in the middle next to each other, with Melissa on my left and Jessica on his right.
In the darkness, I reached out my hand and felt the seat in front of me. Then I lightly rested it on the arm of my chair. But it wasn’t cold metal that I felt – it was Max’s warm hand. And I didn’t move; I simply kept my hand there, enjoying our physical connection. Even our “girlfriends” noticed, they would probably think it was nothing; they would probably think that we just weren’t aware of it.
A few minutes into the movie, as my eyes began getting used to the dark and seeing more of what was around me, I took my hand and placed it back on my hips, overcome by fear. I turned to check on Melissa, but I was given an offbeat stare and a pair of perplexed eyes.
Shit. She caught us. But then she said, “Popcorn tastes a bit weird.” I took some and shoved them into my mouth. It had a salty taste and I couldn’t taste any sugar, which was really weird. But I was relieved. She didn’t see anything, though this served as a lesson that urged me to act more cautiously. Suddenly I wasn’t sure if sitting next to the love of my life was such a great idea.
The movie went on, and as much as we were engrossed by the growth of the protagonist, we were well aware that the real action hadn’t yet set in. When I noticed Jessica feeling a bit uneasy on her seat, she stood up.
“You guys know where the restroom is?” she asked, haste written all over her face.
Then I felt Melissa stood up too. “I saw the sign. Come on, I’ll go with you.” Jessica nodded, her expression showing that Melissa was her timely savior. Then they walked out of the room, leaving the two “boyfriends” here. Alone and unattended.
Max and I shared a knowing glance. What else could we do? We were not stupid enough to demonstrate our kissing techniques in front of a whole audience and far too many potential Cheavers people. We weren’t monsters derided by lust and out of control. Of course we were able to keep our feelings securely hidden in extreme danger like this.
But Max obviously saw that I was desperate as he put his hand on my thigh, as carefully and slowly as possible. I gasped, then collapsed into total silence. I turned to look at my lover, who in the dark was nothing more than a blurry image. I shot him a look, not certain whether he received it. It was the someone-might-see-us look, but either he didn’t see it or he dismissed it right away. How did I know? Well, his hand gradually went up and ended up on my semi-hard member. Then he held it firmly and began stroking tenderly. It was obvious that he wasn’t satisfied because after a few seconds, he reached his hand inside my beach shorts and boxers into direct contact with my hardness which was yearning for pleasure and yet so afraid of it. I gave in, abandoning all my thoughts about being safe and everything. I was a monster after all. It took no time for my erection to develop into its full form, desperate to break loose and expose itself to the dangerous air that engulfed our bodies and exhilaration.
“Restroom?” Max whispered. I just dumbly nodded and followed him. We took the long way and exited through the door on the other side to avoid running into our dates. God was watching over us; it was a successful trip to the restroom, and it was all empty. We picked the farthest stall, went in, and locked the door.
Our tongues had begged for each other, and they were finally getting what they wanted. Our hands ran all over the bodies burning with passion and excitement. In one swift movement, Max pulled down my shorts and my boxers, knelt down and took my full erection in his mouth, and started sucking, bobbing his head up and down, his hands massaging my balls. I panted and kept repeating his name in suppressed volume. When his month focused on my mushroom-head his hands went up and stroked me furiously. Seeing my expression only made him go faster, exerting more force with each stroke and suck; he was more than determined to bring me to my climax as quickly as possible. My legs soon were getting weaker; the moment was arriving. When I accidentally fell back, my back hitting the door and making a thunderous sound, Max only pushed forward and still held his lips tight wrapped around my three-inch organ. Using that momentum, he quickened his pace, his hands now slipping between my butt cheeks and the door, squeezing them hard. My hardness pulsated. I was coming in his mouth, dry or wet I had no idea of knowing at this moment under the greatness and feeling of the moment. There I was, a monster out of control, releasing inside the mouth of my favorite boy in the world. If I was a monster, I was a monster from heaven.
Once I gathered up enough energy to stand up, my lips aimed at Max’s erection crying for attention. It was so hot when my lips came into contact with him. I would give Max the best orgasm ever.
“Damn…David…Ahhhhh!” Max moaned. Drops of his seed hit the back of the throat with force, and I was pleased by their thickness.
“That quick, huh?” I grinned.
“Can’t help it. Sorry.” He almost looked embarrassed under that confidence. This was so hot and he was so cute.
“Good news,” I said. “You’re not far from a full wet orgasm.” He was confused first, but then he smiled, and together we went over to the sinks to wash our hands and cleaned up any left-over mess. In a few seconds we were clean; no one would catch us. And we were gone for only a short while. Five minutes tops. We were still in safe zone.
The chills invading from the corridor gave me goose bumps, stinging my skin with a thousand ants in that brief second. Max grabbed my right hand and threw me to the opposite direction, and there they were, the angels of death.
Jessica and Melissa were standing there, completely bewildered, looking as if they were caught in a tumultuous storm. On their face it wasn’t anger; it was confusion coupled with disappointment. It was like they fell to the bottom of a pit but they had no clue what pushed them over. They knew.
The corridor was filled with dread. This was the most awkward moment ever in my life. But in my mind I still asked the question, “What the hell is going on?”
When Melissa broke the silence, I couldn’t even respond. “So you two are…” Silence. “Then why are you doing this with us?” Silence.
In his state of shock Max managed to say, “Because Gregory Simons…and the big kids…they…” “I see,” Melissa cut him off. Then they walked past us and further out the winding corridor. Then they turned around. “Don’t worry. We won’t tell anyone,” Jessica assured, and I could almost see tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Then they disappeared, out of our lives, probably forever.
They wouldn’t tell anyone, so we were safe. Our plan had worked. But why did I feel like something was wrong? And looking at Max, his depression was prominent – he was feeling what I was feeling.
We returned to the movie and sat quietly through it. We were together, and the movie looked visually stunning. But at that moment, somehow, all that meant nothing. The beauty of the stillness and fury of ocean didn’t cheer us up in any way.
I felt so…guilty. Looking back now, it was clear that we didn’t think everything through. Most of all, we used Jessica and Melissa. We brought them on a date, and cheated on them on the same evening which they might have considered a magical first date. We used them as tools. It was at that moment that I realized it was one thing that the world treated Max and I unfairly, but it didn’t give us any right to harm others and use others as means to our own ends. We could have dealt with Gregory Simons ourselves, but instead we took the easy way out, set up a fake date and broke two innocent hearts.
“We have to apologize to them,” I said after a long period of silence between us.
“Yeah. I’m sorry. It was my plan.” We hugged. When we left, we felt a little better, probably because now we had a purpose. We would be brave and do the noble thing, to apologize to the people we just used as mere tools.
We decide to do it in the lunch break on the next day. I caught sight of Melissa sitting on the bleachers in the gym, watching an interschool basketball game. I sat down next to her, and she nodded in a gentle smile. I smiled back.
“I’m sorry we did that. I’m sorry we used you,” I said.
“It’s okay. Last night Jessica and I talked, and we agreed it’s hard for you guys too.”
“I’m really sorry.” She patted my shoulders and reassured me by telling me that they wouldn’t tell anyone and everything would be fine with the older kids. I thought I was going to cry then, but seeing her so strong made me hold back my tears.
“But how did you find out?” I asked, out of curiosity.
“We saw you doing it inside...when we returned from the restroom.” I nodded.
“I’m really sorry we put you through this.” “It’s okay.” And we shared another knowing smile.
As the afternoon lessons passed one by one, the burden on my mind was slowly leaving me peaceful. When Max and I met at the school gate, he told me how it went with Jessica, which was similar in many ways. Except he didn’t ask how they found out. I told him.
“So that’s why.” He laughed, and we strode into the dim sunlight on a tranquil December sky, falling into our own comforting world devoid of disquiet.
A Love so Star-crossed (gay/young-friends/2012Dec -)
Growing Intimacy (gay/young-friends/2012Nov – 2012Nov)