Date: Thu, 11 May 2006 23:50:01 -0500 From: Chris Samuels Subject: Accepting, Part IV All that legal Junk: This is a fictional story about budding love between two young males, including sexual encounters. Some states/countries have laws saying you can't read this. Some people don't like to read this. If you fall into either of those categories, don't read this. All the following work is the original work of the author, all rights reserved. Well I finally got a chance to write another piece of this story. Hope you all enjoy it. Thanks again to everyone who has been sending e-mails. FYI, if you're just looking for sex, this isn't the story for you. This chapter has a lot of emotional twists and turns, so be ready for it. ------------------- Accepting, Part IV | ------------------- Grabbing pens and paper, the boys began to jot down their secrets. Trevor wrote the following: Ben, yesterday when we were outside, and wrestling... I think I liked it a lot. I mean, a lot. I don't know what I mean. I can't write anymore..., and with incredible tension handed it to Ben. As he got Ben's paper, he lost his nerve, and just wanted to burn what he'd written. What if Ben's didn't say the same thing? What if this was all a trick? Terrified, he began unfolding the note... The next several seconds of Trevor's life took longer than his hardest Spanish test, his parent teacher conferences, and the last round of the spelling bee combined. Sure, it was his hands unfolding Ben's note, it was his eyes reading the simple words "I love you", and his lips that were locking with Ben's, but it wasn't him. He was somewhere outside his body, watching in shock, terror, and pure bliss. As if Time were a rubber band, fully stretched to slow, it snapped back with twice the speed. The boys rumbled across the floor blindly grabbing at any piece of clothing they could, tearing, gnawing, salivating, and letting the heat of their emotions rule the night. Niceties and embarrassment were for another time as two would be lovers discovered for the first time what it meant to have no inhibition. The sweat made their body's slick and glisten, which only added to the eroticism of the moment. Trevor's own penis, long since hard, was beginning to move in ways he hadn't imagined possible. The touch of bare skin, and the fire in Ben's eyes were almost too much to handle as Trevor tried to hold back. Moans and sighs escaped their lips as the boys examined every forbidden inch of there bodies. Almost without thought, they slipped into a rhythm, stroke and fondle, kiss and caress. As their intensity increased so did their insatiable need to be closer, to delve deeper into the other's throat, and rub closer to the other's chest. And then it was over. Their semen smeared between their naked bodies, there sweat commingled into a sweetly sour smell of love. Exhausted their eyes locked, and they knew something special had just happened. For those few precious moments, Ben and Trevor felt safe and secure, as if whatever were to happen, they were happy. But alas, nothing so perfect can last, and so it was that horror began to set in upon Trevor. It made no sense, this was what he wanted. Ben was perfect, and still he couldn't contain the massive feelings of pain, guilt, sorrow, and even anger that were welling up inside him. Jumping to his feet, he could scarcely stop himself from crying. Clothes. He needed clothes. But which were his, which in that pile of sin on the floor. Grabbing what looked right, and jumping into it as fast as he could, Trevor was running out the door. Of course Ben followed him. Who would he be not to follow. But what could he say? All that escaped him was the hurt of betrayal and lies. And that made it even worse for Trevor, who could feel those lies, and what they meant. He was just getting off the stairs when he fell to the ground, caught up in the mess of pants that weren't his, and the weakness that he felt. He didn't even want to move anymore, just to disappear. Just to go back in time, just to change something and make it all all right again. Ben came, hoping to be of any help, but Trevor's cold eyes shunned him, and made clear this was no time for it. Finally, not seeing anything else to do, Ben went and sat on the couch. If Trevor was confused, Ben was so times ten. What had he done wrong to leave his friend in such a state? Could what they had done really have been such a sin that he was being punished somehow? What kind of talk was that? Slowly, Ben realized that he too was starting to cry, and wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold Trevor. He would've too was he not greeted by the slamming of the front door as Trevor left. Where he was going Ben didn't, know, and really didn't care. If this is what it meant to have a best friend then Ben didn't want one. Running to his own room and slamming the door, Ben started to cry. =============================================== The next day both boys were too sick to got to school. Was it a cold perhaps that had stricken them? Or was this premature heartbreak. Either way the symptoms the boys experienced were too real to discount. Ben had the shivers, and a high fever, along with what seemed to be stomach flu. To top it all off, his muscles were so weak he couldn't walk. His mom of course stayed home to care for him, though she could find no reason for his sudden condition. She brought him soup, and watched him closely. When she heard from Trevor's mom that he was displaying similar symptoms, she suggested the two have a play date to try and raise their spirits. Well, you can imagine the response that elicited from the boys. It wasn't that their condition got worse, and wasn't that they were mad, somehow they just seemed more distant. Trevor was reclusive, hiding beneath his covers, rejecting his mother's attempts to comfort him. For three days they stayed home, with gradually lessening conditions. Of course, the root of the problem, the mortification and disgust they felt wasn't showing any signs of easing. In fact, every time Trevor recalled what had happened, a knot formed in the pit of his stomach, and he couldn't help feeling unclean, filthy even. For weeks afterwards at school the boys showed open disdain for one another. There were no fights, no shouting, and no real physical problems, just a sense of unease. Everyone could feel it, teachers, friends, parents. Of course, they couldn't possibly understand the depth of the problem. Friends had falling outs all the time. And perhaps everything would have continued as such, neither boy talking were it not for the dreams. Every night it was the same. Trevor was running in the night, trying to catch something he couldn't quite see. His friends were all at his back, shouting words of encouragement, sure he could do it. Finally, he would fly out of the forest, into dawn, and into the most beautiful scene he had seen. Except, it was wrong; it was Ben, Ben and someone else. They were laughing now, not just at him but also at the thought of him. How could he even think what had happened between them was real? The girl Ben was with would walk over every night and whisper lovingly into his ear "We don't need people like you around here Trevor. He's mine now". And as much as those words infuriated him, they pacified him. She was right after all, the world didn't need people like him. And so it was that for a month Trevor awoke every morning in tears. He wasn't crying for losing Ben, but for thinking it could have ever worked. Life went on of course. Trevor received marks as high as ever in school. In some ways his work improved, with him throwing every grain of emotion into it. It was the only way he could keep on. He became his own inspiration in a lot of ways. In particular, his essay on Romeo and Juliet. In words far beyond his years, Trevor described what it was to feel the pain of a forbidden love. "The touch of a forbidden hand is not one of love and hope, but a deep cut into the hope that such a love could ever happen. Nights of passion and intimacy shared by such a couple cannot possibly lead to the joy they would expect, but rather to dismay at the dying prospect of their days together. And so, Romeo's untimely burial, Juliet's plunge, and the `happy' dagger that tore them apart are not motifs of joy at all, but of despair in the face of the unstoppable." His heartstrings danced as he finished those last words. Was he destined to live out a life like Romeo, to love and to ache until his own family would force his betrayal? The thoughts were too much for Trevor who finally put the paper in his backpack and went to sleep. As the familiar dream took him, Trevor felt himself resigning to another night of pain. As luck would have it, the next morning his Mom could not take him to school. "Look, I know you're upset at Ben for whatever reason right now, but I have an important meeting today, and I really need you to get a ride from him. If you could just do this for me honey, it would really help me out." And who was he to argue? Quietly, he went to Mrs. Martina's car and climbed in, preparing for what was sure to be a long drive. Yet, to his surprise, Ben didn't seem reserved at all. He spent the whole time talking about a new video game with his mom, almost ignoring the fact Trevor was in the car at all. It didn't help make the time pass quicker for Trevor. By the time they had arrived at the school, he was more than ready to leave, running to his first class. That's how it was all day, Ben talking and having fun as though he didn't exist. It was infuriating. Finally, after school, Trevor went to Ben's house. "So that's the way it is then? You don't anymore? You have new friends I see, and I guess it's better that way" he yelled. "Of course, I'm just the geek who wasn't meant to have any friends anyway. It's ok you know, I'm used to it." "And what else would you have me do?" Ben retorted. "It's not like you've been incredibly forthcoming. In fact, for the past month you haven't spoken a word to me until now. I don't even understand where all this anger is coming from." "I'm sure you don't." Trevor sneered "If you don't want to hang out with me anymore, you could simply tell me. You don't have to be so secretive about it. In fact, why don't you just tell everyone? Why don't you mock me like you want to." As his friend's eyes started to tear up, Ben said with melancholy, "Trevor, I don't know what you want from me, but this isn't the way to get it. Whatever happened that night, I don't know, and I don't care. But this isn't going to change it. Just leave. Please." And with those words, Ben's own eyes began to tear. "Is that it then" Trevor whimpered. The hurt in his voice was the most genuine feeling he had expressed in a long time, and it felt liberating. But it wasn't enough. His pain and regret could scarcely dwarf Ben's anger. "Yes," was the only word to escape Ben as he closed the door. ============ Well, I seem to have a knack for leaving you in that gut wrenching situation. Hope you're still enjoying the story, and keep e-mailing please. theshizat@munich.com There will definitely be at least one more chapter in this story, and perhaps I'll write a second one soon.