Date: Mon, 01 Nov 1999 19:20:11 -0500
From: Charlie <charlieje@mindspring.com>
Subject: Andy 15 (Young-Friends)

            XV Starting Chemotherapy

Monday morning was a zoo at the Conner home. Andy was to begin his
first day at school, much to his disgust. "My place is with Charlie." he
protested, "And here helping out with the chores."
"Sorry pal," Dennis had said softly but sternly, "Social services will be
watching us like a hawk, and in their view we would be irresponsible if we
allowed you to stay out. So school it is." Charlie was disappointed as well,
but he knew better than to argue with his dad, especially when he was
right. "I will make one minor concession," Dennis said, "You can take the
truck to school instead of the school bus so you can get home quickly. We
should be home by then or shortly after, but you'll have to start the
evening chores."

By 7 am Andy was on his way to school and Charlie was back in the
hospital, getting checked into the cancer clinic. After signing in, he and his
mother were ushered into a large room lined with a dozen or so recliner
chairs, most of which were occupied by a cancer patient. Charlie
shuddered as he saw the plastic bags full of various fluids, the tubes
descending to a connecting device where they were reduced to one tube,
which then snaked its way into the arms or necks of their victims. His
inner voices were asking him if this was really where he wanted to be, but
there was no need. Charlie had already determined that he definitely did
NOT want to be here! But here he was anyway.

"Where's John?" Charlie asked.
"John?" the nurse asked, "John who?"
"Dr. Petrie. He said he'd been assigned to me all through my treatment."
"I don't think so." the nurse said as she reviewed his chart, "Oh yes, here it
is. He's been reassigned and doesn't come in till afternoon. Dr. Fisher will
be handling your case personally."
"Great!" Charlie muttered. He had no real reason, nothing he could use to
complain, but he really didn't like Dr. Fisher. But the nurse was explaining
the procedure and Charlie wanted to know what was happening.

"I'm going to put a needle in your arm." she said. "All the time it's in there
we will have a saline drip going to keep the needle from clogging. Then
we'll take these little bags that contain the drugs you've been prescribed,
hang them on these hooks up here and connect the bags to the drip. That
way the drugs will all be mixed and diluted before they get to your veins.
Have you had any breakfast?"
"Yes, ma'am. I only had a bowl of cereal 'cause John told me I should
take it easy on food till I see how the drugs work."
"That was good advice. If you're not too sick this time, you can try eating
a little more next time if you want. Are you ready?"
"Yes ma'am. I brought a book to read, 'cause..."
"John recommended it, right?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Ok, here goes."

Charlie watched intently as a large needle was inserted into his right arm.
He felt a coldness in his hand which quickly went away as the nurse
adjusted the drip. She wrapped a blood pressure cuff around his left arm,
which automatically took his blood pressure every five minutes. She took
his temperature, his pulse, then wrote the data in his chart and excused
herself, saying she'd be right back with his medication. "I can hardly
wait!" Charlie quipped.

"You ok?" Karen asked. Dennis had gone to school with Andy to make
sure he got settled in his new school, then he was going home to wait for
Karen and Charlie.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Mom." Charlie had been dreading that needle, and that
dread hadn't diminished when he saw the size of it! But it hadn't been too
bad, and after it was in and taped to him, he was hardly aware it was there
at all. He opened his book and began to read.

The nurse came back carrying six different little bags of drugs. "Ok," she
said almost mechanically, "Ready to give you your little cocktail." Charlie
steeled himself, expecting to become very ill almost at once. He tilted his
head back so he could see the bags being hung on hooks one at a time, the
lines being connected to a junction box, and the valves turned on. "We
don't give them all at the same time." the nurse commented, "Some of
them don't get turned on till these are finished." He felt nothing different.
This, he thought, was gonna be a piece of cake. He'd miss a lot of school,
but he imagined the cancer cells dropping like flies in a cloud of RAID as
the poison surged through his veins. He went back to his book.

By 11:30 Charlie was done. He had endured his mother asking every
fifteen minutes if he was ok, always reporting "Fine, Mom." Indeed, he
hadn't really felt anything at all, except for the odd chill in his right hand.
So it was with much higher spirits that he and Karen walked to the car and
headed for home. "Will my hair start falling out now?" he asked.
"I don't know, son. Why do you ask?"
"I noticed most of the people in there were bald. And one girl had a hat on
but I could tell she had no hair."
"We'll just have to wait and see. But you're not sick or anything? Do you
feel like doing some shopping?"
"Sure!" he answered. He knew by her tone of voice that by "shopping" she
meant a record store, music store, book store, or computer shop, and all
were equally exciting to Charlie. So they headed for a mall where they
visited a record store.

"Where's Charlie?" Andy demanded when he burst in the door shortly
after three.
"Good afternoon to you too, son!" Karen said laughingly.
"Sorry, Mom." he said sheepishly, "It's gonna take me a while to get used
to getting kissed every time I come home."
"Does it bother you?' she asked as she got her kiss.
"Yeah, it does. Makes me wonder how I did without all these years. Hi,
Mom, I love you."
"But where's Charlie, right?"
"Uh-huh. He ok?"
"He's fine. He's up in his... err.. YOUR room listening to the new CD's he
got."
"New CD's? Cool! If I get castrated can I get some new CD's?"
"Forget it, Andy!"
"Just kidding, Mom." As he climbed the stairs, Andy couldn't believe he'd
done that! It wasn't as if she'd been his mother his whole life, but that's
how it felt. She and Dennis were strict with him the same as Charlie; but
they were kind and fair. And it made it so easy to just fit in!

"Hiya dude!" Andy said as he opened the door to their bedroom. Then he
quickly quieted down as he saw the still form of Charlie on the bed. His
earphones were on, his eyes closed; he made no acknowledgment that he'd
seen Andy at all. "Sorry dude, I didn't know you were asleep."

"Back so soon?" Karen said as Andy came into the kitchen.
"Yeah. Charlie's asleep, so I just changed my clothes and I'm gonna go
start the chores. You sure he's ok?"
"He's fine. He ordered up my special cheeseburgers for supper, so he can't
be feeling too bad."
"Your cheeseburgers? You mean on the grill?"
"Yup. Dad'll be home in about an hour, so you'd better get busy if you
want them hot and on time."
"On my way. And save an extra rare one for me, ok?"

"Dang, Charlie," Andy said at the supper table as Karen served up a plate
of very thick, spicy hamburgers fresh off the grill, "You scared me! You
were so still when I got home! You never even so much as moved when I
opened the door."
"Guess I was a bit tired." Charlie admitted. "But now I'm hungry! I
haven't had anything to eat since that bowl of cereal this morning."

There was no more talk as the three Conner men dug into the wonderful
creations that Karen had prepared. They loved her cheeseburgers! They
had no idea what made them different, but there was no mistaking that
they were indeed different, and incredibly wonderful! She wouldn't tell
them either, saying jokingly "If you knew how I make them, you wouldn't
need me any more and you'd probably kick me out so you men could have
your own way around here."
"Never happen!" Dennis assured her.
"I dunno," Charlie added, "It might be kinda nice, not havin' a woman
around yellin' at us when we forget to wipe our feet, naggin' us to take a
shower."

Before the meal was over, as Andy built his third cheeseburger creation,
Charlie suddenly fell silent. His second burger, half eaten and forgotten,
was placed back on his plate. "You ok honey?" Karen asked with concern.
"Not really, Mom. I don't feel all that swell."
"Go lie down on the couch." she advised. "Can I get you anything?"
"No thanks Mom. I'll be ok."

Charlie got up from the table and staggered to the living room. As he was
about to lie down his mouth erupted, spewing one and a half
cheeseburgers, plus ample amounts of bile, on the floor, the couch, and
himself. "Damn!" he exclaimed, "I'm sorry Mom!"
"It's ok Charlie." Dennis said, "Just let me take you upstairs."
"Charlie!" Andy whispered to himself. He wanted to scream it, but he
knew the last thing Charlie needed right now was a panicky brother. Inside
he knew that this was a small indication of the hell that was to follow. He
wanted to cry; he yearned to go back to when he'd never met Charlie; he
wished for a way to take Charlie's hurt away. But none of those things
were options for him. So he did the next best thing: he went upstairs with
his brother and sat with him, just being there.

"Andy," Karen said about 8 pm, 'Do you have any homework?"
"Yes ma'am." he answered. He had been sitting with Charlie, now asleep,
since he'd taken sick.
"Then I think you'd better get at it."
"But Mom, Charlie's..."
"Charlie's sick and resting. But you know he'd be the first to jump on you
if he knew you were neglecting your work. Now get to it!"
"Yes ma'am."

Andy did do his homework, but not before he'd had a good cry. He cried
for Charlie; but probably more important he cried for the life he now had,
and the fact that it had taken sixteen years for it to come to him. His first
reaction to Karen's orders was "who is she to tell me what to do?" But that
was quickly replaced by the realization that who she was, was his mother.
His MOTHER! And she cared enough to care about him, even though her
own son, the boy she had carried and given birth to, was lying sick in his
bed! It was the realization that he was truly her son, in every respect! The
strict discipline was new to Andy, but he discovered with some surprise
that it was welcome! So he said a prayer of thanks, then one for Charlie,
then he did his homework.

Tuesday morning, there was still no reaction from Charlie. Andy had got
up silently at 5 and done the milking with Dennis. He'd gone back to their
shared room to get cleaned up for school. He sneaked around as he
showered and dressed, but then he sensed that he should investigate.
Charlie wouldn't sleep this late! And he certainly wouldn't sleep through
someone roaming around the room, quiet or not. What he found made his
blood run cold! He shook his brother, but there was no response. Charlie
wasn't sleeping, he was unconscious!

"Mom! Dad!" Andy screamed, "Come quick! Oh God, come QUICK!"

There was no 911 to call, this was the country! So Dennis did the next best
thing: he called the Sheriff's office while Andy got the car and Karen tried
to revive her son. She'd been a nurse's aide before she married so even
though she had no equipment, she knew enough to check vital signs. She
determined that Charlie's breathing was very shallow, his pulse weak and
slow but steady. She could not check blood pressure but she deduced that
it was probably very low.

The sheriff met them on the highway and escorted them toward
Wilmington. He'd called ahead and had an ambulance coming to meet
them, so that a little over an hour since he was first discovered, Charlie
was in the ER and on a respirator, but still in a coma.

"What happened?" Andy demanded as they waited.
"It appears he reacted to the chemo." an intern said with as much authority
as he could muster, "It sometimes happens on their first dose." In fact he
had never heard of it happening, but he had to tell this frantic family
something!
"It's a pity someone didn't tell us yesterday so we could be watching for
it." Karen said bitterly. The intern shrugged and went back into the
treatment room.

Charlie was transferred to ICU an hour later. He finally regained
consciousness at 4 in the afternoon. Andy refused to leave his side, even to
go to the bathroom until Dennis assured him he'd stay. Charlie must, Andy
said, absolutely must not be alone! Not ever!

"What happened?" Charlie said groggily as he realized where he was.
"Some people will do anything to get out of school." Andy said,
attempting humor where none was felt, "You went to sleep last night and
refused to wake up."
"How'd I get here?" Charlie wanted to know.
"I drove you!" Andy said proudly. "Man, you shoulda been there. Well I
guess you were, but, well you shoulda seen it. The sheriff met us on the
road and escorted us with his sirens and lights, then we met the ambulance
on I 40 and that danged ambulance came right across the median to get ya.
You'd have enjoyed it, man!"
"Sounds cool." Charlie managed a weak smile, "Thanks, man." Then he
drifted off to sleep again. "It's better that he sleep now," the nurse said,
"The monitors will warn us if anything goes wrong, and he needs the rest."
But still Andy refused to leave.

'Hi, Mr. Meoli!" Charlie said cheerfully. It was 8 am Thursday. Charlie
had had his breakfast, showered and was dressed, looking his old radiant
self. He was sitting on his bed talking to Andy while they waited for their
mother to come get them when the old man walked into the room.

"My little songbird!" Carlo said tenderly, "What have they done to you?
Are you all right?"
"I'm fine, thanks. Feeling much better today. I'm going home soon as
Mom gets here."
"I heard they... they had to operate!" Carlo said, "I'm so sorry, Charlie!"
"Sorry? But I thought you'd be pleased!"
"Pleased? Why on earth would you think that?"
"Cause you're hot on castrati!" Andy said in an accusing tone, "And now
you've got your way. Charlie is one!"
"Andy," Charlie scolded, "For heaven's sake! Mr. Meoli would never...
he's my friend no matter what you think. And might I remind you that if it
hadn't been for him you'd probably still be in Atlanta."

"Andy!" Mr. Meoli said as he shook his hand warmly, "Finally we meet!
Charlie's right, I would never do such a thing to a boy, nor wish it done.
That is a part of Italy's history and better that way. Yes, they produced
glorious singers, but at a very heavy price. Please, can we be friends? All
of us love Charlie and he needs us now, together as friends, not as
enemies. Believe me, I am his friend! And yours too!"

Andy eyed the man carefully. He had made up his mind from the start that
he wasn't to be trusted. But it was true, it was Meoli's influence that had
cleared the log jam that was called adoption. It was Meoli's attorney that
had discovered that he had a substantial allowance and was recovering
what had been stolen. Now looking him in the eye, Andy knew he'd been
wrong. "I'm sorry, sir." he said, "It's just..."
"I know. You've gained a wonderful brother only to be threatened with
losing him again. But have no fear, you will not lose him. One of the
strongest characteristics of all the castrati was their huge hearts, their will
to survive. Charlie will get through this, and so will you! I will see to it!"

"You'll have to come back next Monday," the nurse said as she finalized
the paperwork.
"But I thought it was every two or three weeks." Karen argued.
"Doctor Fisher has changed the medication. He has prescribed smaller
doses and different drugs in hopes that Charlie can tolerate them better."
"Where is Dr. Fisher? Has he seen Charlie?"
"He was in a couple times, but Charlie was asleep. He checked the charts
and made the adjustments. This is not uncommon, Mrs. Conner."
"I'd like to speak to him. Would you page him please?"
"I'm afraid he's out of the hospital right now. But you will probably see
him on Monday."

By Saturday Charlie was pretty well his old self. He felt good, looked
good, and was anxious to do the concert the gospel group had booked. "No
way!" Karen said, "You've been too sick!"
"But Mom!" Charlie whined, "I gotta do it! Who're they gonna get in my
place? I'm the only one that can sing those high notes."
"Are you forgetting who taught you?"
"She's got ya." Andy laughed.
"You?"
"Uh-huh. It's all arranged. You can play the piano in my place if you want,
otherwise I'll do both."
"But Mom!"
"No but's! It's either the piano or the audience. This is not subject to
negotiation."
"Choose the audience!" Andy begged. The thought of sitting next to
Charlie was strangely very attractive to him, even though he knew there
was no chance Charlie would do it.

Charlie did play the piano that night. He did extremely well; as well as his
mother would have done. Karen did well too, but the "spark plug" was
gone. Karen had the voice, the range, and considerably more control than
Charlie; but she lacked the body english, the antics, the animation that
Charlie always did on stage. Nevertheless it was a good concert and all
were satisfied with it.

Charlie didn't go to church on Sunday. The concert had left him
completely exhausted, so he didn't even get out of bed. "One consolation,"
he said proudly, "I haven't worn diapers for two weeks!"
"That's good son," Karen agreed, "But I don't think you should worry
about that right now. You've got a bit of a fight on your hands, and there's
lots of time later to worry about wetting the bed after you're well again."
"You don't think I'm gonna get well, do you Mom?"

Charlie's words struck his mother like a sledge hammer. How could he
know? In her mind every moment with Charlie was precious because she
knew, she just knew, that it was over. She'd tried to hide it and thought
she was doing pretty well, but he had seen through her like a pane of glass!
She answered the question with a glib remark like "don't be so silly, of
course you're gonna get well!" but she knew that he knew she didn't
believe it.

Monday morning, and the process started over again. Andy busied himself
with the chores while Charlie tried to talk his mother out of taking him to
the hospital. "They're not makin' me better," he whined, "they're makin'
me worse!"
"They told us you'd feel bad during the therapy," she reminded him, "And
you do want to beat that cancer don't you?"
"Course I do! But I don't see how I can beat anything when I'm so sick I
can't even do my chores."
"Forget chores for now, son." Dennis said, "Andy is doing a great job
filling in for you. You just concentrate on getting better and sticking
around for a few more years. We've kinda got used to havin' a little pain
in the butt around here and wouldn't know how to act without ya."

"Dr. Fisher wants us to plan on keeping Charlie this time." the intern said
as they checked him in. "In fact we're gonna go ahead and admit him, put
him to bed, and then put him on a very slow drip that'll take all day and
into the night to finish. Hopefully that'll help his system to tolerate it
better."
"Sounds good." Karen answered as Charlie screwed up his face in protest.
"Where is Dr. Fisher? It almost seems like he's avoiding us."
"He's extremely busy, Mrs. Conner. But he'll be in to see Charlie today,
and probably more than once.

"How long do I have to stay here?" Charlie asked.
"We don't really know." the doctor said. "It depends on how well you
tolerate the drugs. In some cases kids your age have to stay as long as they
are being treated. It's better really, because we can monitor you and avoid
last week's crisis from happening again. You know you could've died!"
"If I feel that rotten, dying doesn't sound like such a bad idea."

Andy sat in school and half listened to his History teacher droning on
about the ancient Romans. But in his mind he wasn't in the classroom at
all. He wasn't in the hospital either. He was getting out of a social
worker's car, setting foot on the Conner farm for the first time. The past
few months had been so incredible for him! Even when he had to go back
to Atlanta he was completely secure in the knowledge that somehow he'd
be back. But he had come back to a horror even his imagination at its
worst could never have dreamed up. But strangely, he was still glad he was
here! He was delighted that Dennis had entrusted him with all Charlie's
chores, and even more delighted that he'd learned enough from Dennis
and Charlie that he could handle them. But mostly, he was overjoyed that
he could provide a real contribution in such a difficult time. As he thought
of all this he realized that in the short time he'd been associated with this
family, he had become a true member! He felt a part of every situation,
good or bad! Now the question was, did Karen and Dennis feel the same?


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If you wish to comment on this story, please send your comments to me at
charlieje@mindspring.com