Date: Sat, 23 Oct 1999 08:37:23 -0400
From: Charlie <charlieje@mindspring.com>
Subject: Andy 9

          IX Andy Goes Back To Atlanta

When the alarm went off and Charlie opened his eyes, he found himself
staring into the brown eyes that belonged to Andy. The expression on his
face wasn't exactly a smile, but it certainly wasn't a frown. "Morning,
handsome!" he whispered, "Time to get up."
"Seems like I only been asleep about ten minutes." Charlie complained.
"It's been a little longer than that." Andy replied, "But you did lose out on
some of your sleep."

Suddenly Charlie panicked. "Andy!" he declared, "I don't have my diaper
on!"
"I know."
"But... but I'm not wet! I mean my bed's not wet! I didn't..."
"I know."
"Andy, that's the first time in over two years I haven't peed the bed, or in a
diaper, or whatever!"
"Cool, Charlie. Maybe you've turned a corner. Maybe..."
"You don't understand, Andy. Do you have any idea how much I've
dreamed of waking up in the morning without... well... naked, and not
being soaked?"
"Yeah, I can tell by the look on your face that you're happy. I'm happy for
you too, Charlie. Congratulations!"

Charlie jumped out of bed, and before Andy could get moving, he was
dressed and out of the house. He was wearing his white boxers, with
nothing under them! Of course the now familiar shortalls and T-shirt were
there, but even if no one else knew he was without a diaper, Charlie knew.

"Morning, son!" Dennis said cheerfully when Charlie appeared, "Happy
birthday! You're a little late this morning, but I guess I'll let you off this
time seeing it's your birthday and all."
"Morning Dad. Yeah, I didn't get much sleep last night."
"Talking with Andy about... what we talked about?"
"Uh-huh."
"That's it? Uh-huh? That's all you have to say?"
"What else is there to say?"
"Well I thought you might share the outcome of your conversation with
me."
"All of it?"

All of it! What kind of response was that? And what kind of mood was he
in? Dennis had expected Charlie to be bouncing off the ceiling with
enthusiasm, but instead he was quite subdued, almost grouchy! What in
the world?

"No, Charlie," he answered, "I know with your photographic memory you
could play back every word, but a summary will suffice. Do we call
Gigniac this morning or not?"
"Yeah Dad, call him. Andy said he'd like to stay."
"And you? You don't seem nearly as enthusiastic as you did last night. I
thought you'd be completely out of control this morning."
"Yeah, I'm happy about it, Dad. But my mind is kinda on other things."

"Oh, hey!" Charlie suddenly brightened, "Guess what! I didn't wet last
night. My bed was completely dry this morning!"
"Your bed? Didn't you have your diaper on?" As soon as the words were
out Dennis saw the change in Charlie's expression. Immediately he knew
he shouldn't have asked the question. He didn't know why, but he knew
he'd committed a no-no.
"Well..." Charlie stammered, "Uh... no, I wasn't wearing one."

"Charlie," Dennis said, "What's going on? What's wrong?"
"Nuthin' really, Dad. Not... well... nuthin'."
"Now I know there's something going on, Charlie. Tell me, please? Did
you and Andy have a fight? Are you having second thoughts about Andy
staying?"
"No sir. We're fine. It's just that... that... I'm afraid they're gonna say no
now."
"Now? What do you mean, son? What's different all of a sudden?"

As soon as he'd said it, Dennis knew what was different. Suddenly the
lights flashed on in his mind and he knew. He stopped putting the milkers
on the cow and turned the unit off. "Charlie," he said as he placed a hand
on each of his son's shoulders, "Son, have you and Andy... er..."
"Yes, sir." Charlie's eyes began to tear up as he looked directly into his
father's. But the look on his face wasn't elation, nor was it remorse, nor
even fear. The look on his face was... well, defiance!
"I see." said Dennis. "When? When did it start?"
"L-last night. We didn't plan it, it just sorta happened."
"Well, I have to say, your timing couldn't possibly be worse. I guess you
know what Social Services will say if they find out."
"Yes sir, I know."

Just then Andy appeared in the doorway. "Morning!" he said cheerfully,
"Did I get here in time or is the milking done?"
"Almost done, Andy." Dennis replied, "But you can go ahead and put the
milkers on that cow if you like. Charlie and I were just finishing up one of
our talks. Now I want to talk to you. Charlie, I think your mom needs you
in the house."
"But Dad..." Charlie protested.
"The house! Now!"
"Yes sir."

"I guess he told you." Andy observed when he came out from between the
cows.
"Yes, he told me." Dennis answered.
"I guess I knew he would. I just want you to know," Andy said as he
looked into Dennis' eyes with that same defiant look, "I didn't take
advantage of him, and I didn't plan it. I promised his mom I wouldn't hurt
him, and I didn't. I could never hurt Charlie! But still it's my fault it
happened. I'm the older one, and if I'd gone back to my own room when
he got in bed, it wouldn't have happened. I just wanted you to know that I
think it made him happy, that it was the first time for me and probably the
last. I could never love anyone like I love Charlie."

"So now what?" Dennis asked.
"Well, you were gonna call Mr. Gigniac anyway, so if you'll go ahead and
call him, and if you don't mind I'll stay here till he can come get me."
"You're leaving?"
"I figured I wouldn't be very welcome after... after what I did."
"You? What you did? You did it all by yourself?"
"No sir, but..."
"Come here, Andy. Come sit down." Dennis took the milkers off the two
cows and shut the machine down again, then sat on a milk stool facing
Andy.

"When Karen asked you to promise never to hurt Charlie, she didn't just
mean physically. If we thought you'd hurt him physically you'd have left
the same day. She meant emotionally too."
"I know that, sir. But..."
"What do you suppose it'll do to him if you leave now? Without a fight or
a protest? Don't you think that'll hurt him? Don't you suppose he'll think
you got what you wanted, and now it's on to other conquests?"
"Dad... er... Mr. Conner... I meant it when I said I could never hurt Charlie.
But what can I do? I've already done the damage, and you certainly won't
be wanting me around knowing that I molested your son."
"Who told you that, Andy?"
"No one had to. After what I did..."

Dennis placed his hands on Andy's shoulders. For the first time Andy
realized that Dennis was a very tender person, and that he communicated
as much through his hands as he did with his mouth. His hands were
enormous and strong, but as gentle as a baby's. "We made a decision last
night Andy." he said, "Frankly I've been thinking about it for a long time,
but it took Charlie's childish frankness, his indisputable logic, to make us
see it. I... er... WE want you to be our son. What happened last night came
as no surprise really. It may or may not mean one or the other, or both of
you are gay, but that's not important right now. What is important is that
we knew of the possibility. Your timing couldn't possibly be worse, but
we just have to figure out what to do about it."
"But..." Andy stammered, "But if I stay, I can't guarantee it won't happen
again. In fact unless Charlie feels different than I think he does, I can
pretty well guarantee that it WILL happen again!"
"I figured as much. I'm not thrilled with the idea, but if it makes you both
happy, I can't do much about it. I can live with it, but I don't think Social
Services can. I could lose you both!"

"Mr. Conner..."
"Dad!" Dennis corrected, "Dad as long as you're here, unless you've got a
problem with it."
"No, sir!" Andy exclaimed as he threw his arms around Dennis and began
to sob, "No sir! I love calling you Dad!"
"Well then, son, what were you going to say?"
"I was just gonna say, uh... DAD, I don't think I can lie to Mr. Gigniac. I
learned that from you! You and Mom and Charlie. You guys never lie
about anything!"
"We'll lie about this if we have to, and so will you! It may not be right, but
that's how it is. Besides, it'll never come up if we handle it right, and
that's what we have to do now: we have to figure out how to keep our little
secret for the next few months. So when you're ready let's get Charlie out
here and make a plan."

Charlie sat in the kitchen staring into space. His mother had sensed
something was amiss as soon as he came in from the barn. Of course the
mere fact of his coming from the barn with the milking not done was
reason to suspect something. But she had asked him and he'd told her
everything. She had asked him how it happened, and he'd told her. He told
her in general terms what happened, going into more detail than he'd
thought he ever would. She had taken it pretty well, for a mother; but she
was obviously not pleased.

"Charlie," Karen said as she rattled around the kitchen, "If you'd only
waited! If you'd just thought a little about what you were doing, how much
harm you'd be doing, how complicated you were making things!"
"I know all that, Mom. I know it was kinda dumb, but at the time..."
"At the time it seemed that nothing else on earth was as important, right?"
"Yes, ma'am. I love him, Mom! I feel so great when he's around..."

Karen thought of another time, another place, when she was not that much
older than Charlie, when a similar thing had happened. It hadn't been with
someone of the same sex, in fact the other party had been the boy she
eventually married, but she reasoned that the feelings were probably not all
that different. "I gotta tell ya though Mom," Charlie was saying, "I'm not
sorry. I think I know how you must feel and I'm sorry about that, but I'm
not sorry we did it. I wish we coulda waited, but..."
"I wish you could have waited too." Karen said as she took her son in her
arms, "I wish you could've waited about six more years; but I guess that's
a bit unrealistic under the circumstances."

"I guess it doesn't make any difference now." Charlie observed as his eyes
again filled with tears.
"I suppose not, Charlie. But exactly what do you mean by that comment?"
"I thought that was obvious. Dad ORDERED me in the house, and that
can only mean one thing! He's either beating the crap outa Andy, or
throwing him out, or both."
"Charlie!" Karen exclaimed, "Surely you don't believe that!"
"Why else would he send me to the house? Mom, I feel so helpless, and it
wasn't Andy's fault! It wasn't!"
"It wasn't anyone's fault, Charlie; it just happened. Maybe it was my fault
for giving you the opportunity. But don't sell your father short. He'll work
it out if he possibly can, and I think you know that."
"Yes, ma'am, I guess I do."

Charlie didn't go back out to the barn. Dennis and Andy finished up, then
went in for breakfast. It had to be the longest breakfast the Conner family
had ever eaten. There were four farm hands standing around in the
barnyard waiting for their day's assignments, but they were ignored. The
discussion about the day's call to Social Services, how they would handle
every possible scenario, were discussed in minute detail. Nothing could be
left to chance, and so everything was discussed. The boys were a little
reserved at first, not wishing to go into a lot of detail; but Dennis insisted
that they all be absolutely frank and honest with each other so that each
knew where the other was coming from. When they finally emerged from
the kitchen, they were confident that they were ready for that phone call.

"Man, your dad is somethin'!" Andy said to Charlie as they bounced along
in the old truck, headed for a back field.
"OUR dad!" Charlie corrected happily.
"Not yet, he isn't. Soon I hope, but not yet. He's just so cool about
everything. It had to be a big shock, what we did. But he just looked at our
side of it and went on from there. There's no way you can realize how
special that is, Charlie. He's the only father you've ever known."
"You'd be surprised. I've spent a lot of time on the Internet, chatting with
all sorts of kids my age and none of 'em can understand how I feel about
my dad. And I know if I told any of them what we did, and then told my
dad about it, they'd think I was nuts."
Andy chuckled. "Yeah," he said, "I kinda thought you were nuts myself.
But I knew you'd tell him as soon as it happened."

The boys worked the rest of the day in silence. Each wanted to say some
things to the other - intimate things; things about what had happened last
night; but neither of them could seem to find the words, so they kept their
silence.

"Andy?" Charlie said finally. It was getting late and they were almost
ready to head home.
"Yeah, lil bro?" Andy answered.
"When we're brothers... you know, when it's all legal an' all..."
"IF!" Andy corrected him. That was the difference between Andy and
Charlie: Andy, the eternal pessimist and Charlie, the optimist.
"WHEN!" Charlie repeated. "You gotta believe, Andy! You can do
anything if you believe in yourself. Anyway, when we're brothers, are you
gonna change? I mean... what we did... you know, all that talk about
brothers not doing that stuff, incest, and all that..."
"I don't see anything changing, Charlie." Andy replied, "I'm not gonna
love you any less just 'cause you're my brother. I don't think I CAN love
you any more, so I guess that means we stay about the same."
"But so many brothers fight all the time. I have friends who fight with
their brothers so much they aren't even allowed to do their homework in
the same room. I'd hate for us to get like that."
"We're probably gonna have our disagreements, but I don't think we'll
ever get like that, Charlie. The problem with those guys is they don't
realize how great it is to have a brother. It's the same with kids who treat
their parents like crap: they just don't know a what good thing they've
got."

Charlie's day without his diapers was something less than a roaring
success. A part of him had really hoped that perhaps his sexual awakening
had snapped something inside and he now had control of his water works;
but that was simply not the case. He had to relieve himself constantly all
day, and twice he didn't make it at all. By the time they came in from the
field he was dry again, but he didn't smell very well. He was disappointed
and so was Andy, but neither of them said anything. When they got home
no one was there, so they bounded upstairs so Charlie could change his
clothes. "Guess I'd better put on a you-know-what." he said as he stepped
out of the shower.
"OK," Andy answered as he headed for the changing table, "But it's only
temporary, you'll see."

When the boys came downstairs, Dennis and Karen were there. They had
taken a quick trip to the store to get a few things. "Well?" Charlie
demanded without so much as a 'hello,' "What did he say?"
"Doesn't matter what he said," Dennis answered, "He's gonna find out
who he's dealing with."
"He said no?"
"More than that. He said that under the circumstances he'd better pick you
up next week, Andy. He said we knew the rules up front and he doesn't
want to let you get any more settled than you already are."

"N-next week?" Charlie echoed. "H-he's leaving next week?"
"But..." Andy protested, "But I thought..."
"Yes," Dennis agreed, "I thought so too. I thought we had a deal. I thought
they were in the business of caring for kids, but they're not. All they care
about is their paperwork, their quotas, their workload. If I adopt a boy
from North Carolina it'll reduce Gigniac's workload by one; but since
you're from Georgia it simply means he has to expend some energy doing
his precious paperwork, with nothing in it for him."
"Welcome to the system!" Andy said bitterly, "Now you're gettin' a look
at MY family!"

"They can't do that!" Charlie yelled as he pounded the table."
"Yes they can." Dennis argued, "They can and they're doing it! And
there's nothing we can do except find a way around it."
"Got it covered." Charlie answered, "We tried it your way, now we'll do it
MY way."
"And what is YOUR way?" Dennis asked, afraid of the answer.
"Simple. Andy and I will run away. Then when they lose interest we'll
come home. Right, Andy?"

"Wrong, Charlie!" Andy said. "Dammit, lil bro, I thought you were smart!
That's the dumbest thing I ever heard! You think that's never been done
before? They'll know; they'll throw you and me both in a youth jail,
DIFFERENT youth jails, and probably throw Dad in jail too."
"He's right, Charlie." Dennis agreed, "But don't give up, this is only round
1. I just wish I could afford to hire a lawyer. I think it'd be pretty easy for
someone who knows his way around the system. But we won't stop
trying."

"I got an idea." Andy said suddenly. "I think I know a way to do it, but I
have to go back to Atlanta to do it."
"You're NOT going back to Atlanta!" Charlie screamed.
"I have to, Charlie. You gotta trust me on this one. I think I know the
system about as well as anyone does, and I know how to get their
attention. It might take a month or two, but I think it'll work."

"Tell us about it, Andy." Dennis said.

"It's really very simple. I suppose you got a report on me before I came,
and it said things that were not very nice."
"They weren't that bad, or you wouldn't have come. They said things like
'uncooperative,' 'always questioning authority,' things like that. But I
know a little about where that comes from. I look for trouble at school,
problems with the law, things like that. The way I see it, your only fault, if
you can call it that, is that you have a mind of your own. That might be
bad in the Social Services system, but around here it's a requirement."
"Exactly! I've never got in trouble that way, but I haven't been a model
citizen either. I've always used my brain and questioned things they
wanted me to do that were stupid. My grades haven't been that good
because I just wasn't interested. But now I have a reason to be interested
and I know I can do fine. Charlie taught me that.
"Yeah," Charlie said with admiration, "I think you're pretty smart."

"All I have to do," Andy went on, "Is to become so sickeningly sweet
everyone will notice the change. I'll do their stupid things, help take care
of the younger kids, bring up my grades. Some of those kids have real
behavior problems and when someone like me helps out, they really
appreciate it. When someone in the orphanage changes their behavior, it's
only a matter of time before the shrinks want to know why. When I tell
them I've found a family that matters, it's bound to have an effect. The
more kids they get rid of, the more they like it."
"But what if it doesn't?" Charlie said with a wavering voice, "What if I
never see you again?"
"What did you tell me in the truck this morning, Charlie?"

Charlie looked at him blankly.

"You told me I could do anything if I believed in myself. Isn't that what
you said?"
"Well, yeah. But..."
"But what, Charlie? Don't YOU believe in me? How can you expect me to
believe in myself if you don't believe in me?"
"He has a very good point." Karen observed.
"Well, Charlie? You've been telling me all summer how smart I am, how
quickly I picked up on all the things you were teaching me. Was that just
so much talk, or did you believe it? I've never known anyone like you.
Charlie! Your smart as a whip and you know it. But you're not conceited.
You use your brain to advantage, but you're never obnoxious about it. I've
learned from you that I'm smart too, and it's time I faced that fact so I can
use my brain when I need it. You taught me that, Charlie!"
"Charlie," Dennis said, "Andy has been in the system most of his life. He
knows how they work, probably how they think. He has seen other kids
come and go, has seen what works and what doesn't. I think he's onto
something."
"I... I guess. But I hate the thoughts of you going to Atlanta, Andy. I mean,
so much could happen..."
"What's gonna happen," Andy interrupted, "Is that everything's gonna be
all right, and before you know it I'm gonna be back. I won't leave you,
Charlie. I won't ever leave you even if I'm a thousand miles away. If you
don't believe anything else, believe that."

                *       *       *

If you wish to comment on this story, please send your comments to me at
charlieje@mindspring.com