Date: Thu, 11 Nov 1999 19:17:28 -0500
From: Charlie <charlieje@mindspring.com>
Subject: Andy-22 (Young-Friends)

                  XXII Showdown

Charlie pedalled his bike furiously down the country road. He was late,
and he knew that Garth wouldn't like that. He knew that Garth had a very
short fuse and would carry out his threats one way or another. He had told
Charlie that he wanted to beat the crap out of him one last time, before
Charlie went away. The alternative, he'd said, was to have something
horrible happen to Andy in his truck, Dennis in his car.

He went over in his mind all the things that Andy had taught him. There
was no doubt in his mind that Garth would emerge the victor, but he
wanted to make a good showing. He was not about to fold into a weeping
blob the way he'd always done before. This time Garth was going to know
he'd been in a fight! He was thinking so hard, he didn't hear the car
coming up behind him.

He thought about the book and wished he'd never told Garth about it.
Garth had obviously got a copy of it somewhere and had read it, maybe
even studied it. And now he was relating to it, and had put himself and
Charlie in the places of Carlo and Tonio. He thought of their last meeting
in the book and how it turned out, and shuddered to realize that he and
Garth might have the same outcome tonight. But if only one of them left
their meeting, which one would it be? Charlie didn't even know which one
he WANTED it to be! He wasn't particularly enamored with the thoughts
of dying after all he'd been through, but he didn't think he could kill his
brother either, in spite of their less than happy past.

When the car struck the back wheel of his bike, both car and bicycle
stopped short and Charlie flew over the handlebars and onto the road. His
hands were scratched and bleeding; there was a nasty gash on one elbow,
and his nose was bleeding. Other than that he wasn't too bad off,
considering how fast he'd been going. The car drove over the bike, then
veered left and stopped with the passenger door opposite Charlie. "Get
in!" came Garth's voice from the car.

"Sorry about the bike, Tonio." Garth said as Charlie got in and they sped
off, "But you were late. Carlo doesn't like to be kept waiting."
"My name's Charlie!"
"Not any more. Your big brother has found a new name for you; one that's
more appropriate for a little eunuch faggot."
"Where are we going? I can't stay out late tonight."
"You'll stay out till I decide you're going home. We got a lot to talk about,
little brother. Just remember you and Andy are going off to school, but
there's still Daddy Dennis and Mommy here to keep me amused."
"You leave them alone! This is between you and me."
"You givin' the orders now? Ain't you a little big for your britches?"
"I'm just tellin' you, leave 'em alone. You got a fight with me, then deal
with me!"

The car sped along the road, made some turns so that Charlie wasn't sure
exactly where they were. Eventually they slowed, Garth turned into a small
driveway, through some trees and into a clearing with what appeared to be
an abandoned overgrown chicken house. "This seems like a good spot."
Garth said, "Don't you agree, Tonio?"
"My name's Charlie, and I'm proud of it."
"Whatever, Tonio. Come on inside, I've got something to show you."

Charlie followed Garth into the building. One corner had been swept and
cleaned up. There was a small camp stove there, kitchen utensils, cans of
food. There were two sleeping bags rolled up, with a few articles of
clothing scattered about on the floor. It was obvious that someone,
probably Garth, had been living here for quite some time. Charlie spotted a
laptop computer with a cell phone connection, probably stolen, that Garth
had been using to access his pirated email account. "Like it?" Garth said,
"This is gonna be your home for a while. That's why there's two sleeping
bags."
"I don't think so." Charlie said, "I'm leaving for Myrtle Beach in the
morning."
"I'm sorry, little brother, but I can't allow that to happen. What would
poor Carlo do without his little eunuch? I need someone to cuddle up with
at night, and you look about perfect to me. All except one thing. You still
wearing diapers?"

Charlie never dropped his gaze, looking Garth right in the eye. "No," he
said, "I haven't worn diapers since I left the hospital. I don't need them
any more, now that the pain is gone..."
"So that was my fault too, huh? I kicked you in the balls a few times just
for fun, and it was my fault that you liked wearing diapers and pissin' in
your pants?"
"I didn't say that. I liked wearing diapers 'cause I didn't like wetting my
pants. And no one blamed you."
"Well you should. You're a eunuch because of me, little brother.
Remember that when you're rich and famous and singin' for the Pope or
something in that high voice of yours."
"It don't matter, Garth. I'm gay anyway so I won't be needing them to
make babies. I can live with the way I am long as Andy don't mind. Which
reminds me he's gonna be worried. I got to go."

"You don't seem to understand, Tonio. This little party is not optional. So
why don't you have a smoke and just relax?"
"I told you, I don't smoke."
"You do now. And after you get a little high, I got some real good stuff
here. You'll have to shoot it into your arm, but after all that time in the
hospital I'm sure you don't mind that."
"Forget it, Garth! If that's all you wanted to show me, then let's go."
"You're not going anywhere, little brother! Not until you say good-bye to
me properly. And after we finish sayin' good-bye, I got a feeling you're
not gonna want to leave."

The rude gestures Garth was making made it very clear to Charlie what he
had in mind. A chill ran down Charlie's spine as he pictured himself being
raped by his brother. Garth had threatened that many times before he'd left
home, but at the time Charlie hadn't known what he meant. Now it was
obvious. "You'll have to kill me first." Charlie said defiantly.
"Maybe that can be arranged. But that way you'll miss out on all the fun.
You know you want it, or are you getting it from Andy?"
"What goes on between Andy and me is none of your business!"
"Oh, I see! So you two are getting it on! I'm impressed, little brother!
Does he whack you good?"
"None of your business!"
"Okay, enough foolin' around. If you can give it to Andy the least you can
do is give the same to your REAL brother. I think I'm gonna take a sample
right now."

"I don't think so." Charlie answered as he took his stance.
"Hey, I owe you a birthday present anyway. My lil brother's 13 now.
Happy birthday, lil bro! But what am I gonna give you now that your nuts
are gone? I can't kick ya, so I'll have to fuck ya. I'd rather do it without
beatin' the snot outa ya so you'll enjoy it more, but if we can't come to an
arrangement, I'll just haveta do it your way."
"I dunno Garth. I think you'll have to settle for 'happy birthday' cause
you're not doin' that to me."

Charlie's memory went back to when Garth was home. He had learned to
dread his birthdays. He had always gone to bed in tears, having had his
genitals kicked repeatedly all day long.
"Guess I'll just have to kick where they used to be to get ya warmed up."
Garth said as his foot flew toward Charlie. Charlie deflected it and threw a
kick of his own. His aim was dead accurate.

Garth lunged for Charlie. He side-stepped, and as he did he stuck out his
foot, tripping Garth. He went down hard. "Oooh!" he exclaimed, "Tough
lil fucker aren't ya?"
"Tough enough." Charlie said, his confidence growing. He began to
realize that Garth was already into the drugs and his coordination was off.
"You're not gonna touch me, so you might as well forget that."
"Savin' yourself for Andy?"
"Doesn't matter if I am or not. All that matters is there's none there for
you. An' if you keep on trying I'm gonna start rememberin' all the times I
wanted to beat the crap outa you and knew I couldn't. Things have
changed, Garth. You're not gonna push me around any more."

Garth got to his feet and lunged again. Charlie stood his ground, and Garth
found himself colliding head-on with a small hard fist to the bridge of his
nose. He dropped to his knees as blood gushed from his nostrils. "You
little SOB!" he yelled, "You broke my nose! I was gonna go easy on you
cause you're my brother, but you can forget that!"
"I don't want to fight you, Garth." Charlie said, "But if I have to, I will."
He stood facing the other a safe distance away, watching as Garth shook
his head and got to his feet. "Why are you doing this?" he said, "Why
don't you just leave us alone?"
"Cause I can! I'm doing it cause I can, little Tonio!"
"Well, surprise surprise! You can't! So let's just shake hands and call it a
tie, ok?"
"You'd like that, wouldn't ya? Well it's not gonna happen, little Tonio.
Y'see I have this tie breaker here..."

Garth made a dive for his sleeping bag. In a flash he sat up, and Charlie
found himself staring down the barrel of one of the largest pistols he'd
ever seen. "Impressed, I see." Garth grinned when he saw Charlie's eyes
open wider, his mouth drop open. "You should be. This baby's a .357
Magnum. It'll blow your pretty little head clean off!"
"That... uh... that's if you have the guts to use it." Charlie stammered. He
was still trying to stand his ground, but this was one turn of events he
hadn't counted on. Garth got to his feet and took a step towards Charlie,
the gun pointed at his chest. Charlie took a step towards Garth.

                *       *       *

"Where the hell can he have gone?" Dennis said as they drove the back
roads that were everywhere. They had originally started to go in separate
directions in separate vehicles, but Andy had suggested that they take one
truck - his new truck, so Dennis could be calling the Sheriff's office and
keeping in touch with Karen while Andy drove. The truck had both a cell
phone and a CB radio. They had been cruising around for over an hour
with no signs of Charlie. Suddenly Andy yelled "There! Up ahead. Isn't
that Charlie's bike?"
"It WAS Charlie's bike." Dennis said as they stopped alongside what was
now a twisted tangle of steel and aluminum, "It's been run over! Oh jeez!
Where's Charlie?"

Father and son got out of the truck. Andy began scouring the area for any
signs of his brother while Dennis got on the cell phone. He called Karen
and instructed her to call the sheriff, then the State Police. "Ask them if
they've had any reports of a kid on a bicycle being hit."
"Dennis, you think he's..."
"No I don't. If he was dead chances are his body'd still be here. But make
the calls anyway. I've gotta go help Andy look for signs."
"There's nothin' Dad." Andy reported, "Just some skid marks where a car
stopped and then took off in a hurry. But there's no blood, no signs. And
Charlie isn't here."
"Let's keep looking then." Dennis said, "Karen will tell the police where
the bike is and they'll be here soon enough. But we have to find him!"

As they drove slowly along the road, Andy's imagination ran wild. He
pictured Charlie lying in the back seat of a car, bleeding, possibly some
bones broken. At the wheel of the car was none other than Garth. Where
were they going? What was he up to? More important, would he ever see
Charlie again? Were they being punished for the liberties they'd been
taking with each other? Would God do that? Was what they were doing
sinful? Was this why Charlie had had nothing but trouble since Andy came
into his life? He'd been so happy! So healthy! So adjusted! Now it was
first one thing then another. "I'm sorry Dad!" he muttered.
"Sorry? Sorry for what?"
"For causing all this trouble with Charlie."

"Andy," Dennis said, "This isn't the time. But get it in your head, once and
for all, this isn't your fault! If it hadn't been for you Charlie might well be
dead now. You have brightened all our lives more than I can ever tell you,
so forget it! NOT YOUR FAULT! Son!"
"Thanks Dad. But I just can't help wondering if..."
"At times like these it's better if you don't think too much. Don't try to
analyze why it happened because it'll drive you crazy. Now please
concentrate on your driving and watching for signs for... well, I don't
know signs for what. But keep looking."

"Dad?" Andy said tentatively.
"Yeah, son?" Dennis answered.
I gotta ask you something... I think I already know the answer, but I have
to know. What was it like when Garth was home? I mean..."
"You met him, didn't you?"
"Yes sir, when Charlie was in the hospital. He was hanging around
outside. He said he was waiting for Charlie to die."
"And he told you I abused him, right?"
"Yes, but how did you know?"
"He's been singing that song ever since before he left. And I guess in a
way I was, by today's standards."
"But he said..."

"Andy, you have to understand that we're just simple country folk, and I
have always tried to raise my family the way I was raised. It's the only way
I know. But as Garth began to grow and spread his wings, all the gentler
ways of disciplining him simply didn't work. We would send him to his
room, deprive him of treats. He would be sent to bed without supper,
grounded to the house, and nothing had any effect. So I had to resort to
spanking... well, to use his words, beating him. Much as I hated it, the only
emotion that seemed to have any meaning for him was fear. So yes, I beat
him, probably too much! And that's another reason we let him go when his
shrink suggested it. I'm convinced that she thought he was being
mistreated and could do better, and I felt I owed Garth the chance. My self
confidence as a father was pretty low about that point. I had one son that
was always raising hell and another who was always in his room crying, or
whining about some of his pains. I found myself wishing we'd never had
any children"

Andy shot a glance at his father in time to see him wipe a tear from his
eyes. "Like I told you, Dad," he said, "I got to live with lots of kids like
Garth, and nobody could do anything with them. Not the staff, the shrinks,
the other kids! It's like they are cursed or something. I had this great idea
when I was 13 or 14 that all I had to do was be this kid's friend and he
would straighten up. Well, it got me almost killed, and I got a big scar on
the top of my head for my trouble. I pretty well knew what you were gonna
say, Dad, but I had to hear it from you. But when ya look at Charlie now,
it's pretty obvious you're not a bad father. I know I'm sure glad you're
mine!"

They came to a crossroad. "Turn right." Dennis ordered.
"Why? Andy asked.
"I have no idea. Maybe it's father's instinct. I don't even know what kind
of car we're looking for, or even if it's a car we're looking for at all. So I
have to follow my instinct."

Andy turned right. Two miles later there was another crossroad. Andy
turned left. Then right. Then straight. They occasionally met a car or truck,
but nothing that looked the least suspicious. It was as if Charlie had
vanished.

                *       *       *

"Hey, I got a hell of an idea!" Garth said as he stood facing Charlie, the
gun still centered on Charlie's chest, "I'll blow a hole in your leg or
something, then drop you in your own driveway. Then when they come out
to get ya, I can blow them away one by one. It'll be like plastic ducks in a
shooting gallery."
"I don't think you'd do that." Charlie said. He was making a valiant effort
to keep his voice steady, and doing a pretty good job of it. Inside he was
terrified! He took a small step closer.

Charlie had experienced a growth spurt over the summer, much to the
surprise of the entire family. They had all thought, under the
circumstances, that Charlie would grow very slowly. In fact his torso
hadn't grown that much, but as he'd expected, his limbs had grown
disproportionately. Relative to his body, he now had very long legs and
arms, much to his delight. He could run like a deer, and his arms, long and
slender, gave him a much longer reach than anyone would suspect. It was
this long reach that he was depending on now. He took another step
toward his brother.

"I wish you'd put that thing away." Charlie said shakily.
"I bet you do! I bet you think you could beat the crap outa me if it weren't
for that gun. Isn't that what you think?"
"No, Garth, I told you, I don't want to fight. I was hopin' we could talk..."
"We're talking! Only problem is all you wanna talk about is how
wonderful your life is and how terrible mine is. I don't wanna hear it,
Tonio."
"Charlie!" Charlie corrected.
"I'll call you whatever I feel like!" Garth screamed. He was getting more
and more agitated. Charlie watched in pure terror as the muzzle of that gun
wavered and wobbled, but remained pointing at his chest. He took another
step toward Garth.

"That's close enough!" Garth ordered, "How stupid d'ya think I am?
You're not gonna get close enough to grab this gun."
"You think I'm crazy?" I wouldn't grab a loaded gun; I hate guns!"
"Come on, Tonio," Garth chided, "Don't be a chicken, grab for it. You're
gonna take a bullet from it anyway, so you might as well give me a good
excuse."

Charlie knew if he tried he'd get shot. He had to get closer, but how? He
was too terrified to try inching closer. Garth was obviously very high now
and running on a very short fuse. He had to figure a way to get closer
without arousing suspicion. Then he got an idea.

"Errr... Garth," Charlie said with the most innocent voice he could muster,
"Are you really gonna shoot me?"
"Haven't decided, Tonio. It's a real possibility, but on the other hand I
don't know if I wanna face a murder rap for a little piece of shit like you."
"Well... uhh... I was just thinking... If I.. If I'm gonna die anyway, is your
offer of a smoke still open?"

Garth eyed his brother curiously. He cocked his head to one side, trying to
read Charlie's face. "You're kidding, right?"
"Why would I kid about a thing like that? I'm just kinda curious, and since
I'm gonna die anyway..."
"I told ya, I haven't made up my mind. Have you ever smoked before?"
"I think you know the answer to that. 'Course not!"
"Even an ordinary cigarette?"
"Nope. You got any?"
"I got some Marlboro's. But they're kinda strong."
"Not as strong as those joints. Maybe I could start with one o' them?"
"Why, Tonio? Why would little Dudley Doright suddenly want a smoke?
You know that's against Daddy Dennis' rules."
"Daddy Dennis isn't here, Garth. I'm curious what it's like, and I'm also
scared to death with that gun pointing at me. I thought it might help me to
relax a little."
"Ok, if that's what you want. But forget the Marlboros. I'll give ya a joint
all to yourself. That should get ya pretty relaxed."

Now Charlie was doubly frightened! What in the world had he done? He
knew little about pot, or whatever it was that Garth had; but he did know
that his tolerance for it would be very low. He knew that he had to
somehow avoid inhaling that smoke, or he would very quickly become
even more vulnerable, and most likely dangerous to himself. It was now or
never. Garth was fishing in his pocket and pulling out a scrawny hand
made cigarette. "I suppose you need a light too?"
"Yeah I guess so. I haven't had that much reason to carry a lighter."

Charlie took two steps closer. He took the joint and put it in his mouth,
then leaned towards Garth to touch it to the flame. "Damn, Tonio!" Garth
exclaimed, "You're shaking like a leaf! Hold still!"
"You'd be shaking too," Charlie countered, "If you had that cannon stuck
in your gut. Couldn't ya put it down till I get this thing lit? I'm scared it's
gonna go off."
"It's not gonna go off. Unless I want it to that is."

"I suppose you're right." Charlie said as his right hand shot out
simultaneously with his left foot. He wasn't as close as he'd hoped to be,
but it was now or never. His extended reach was enough to send the gun
clattering to the floor as a vicious chop landed on Garth's wrist, a kick to
his mid section. While Garth was recovering, Charlie made a dive and
came up with the gun.

"Now what're you gonna do?" Garth sneered, "Shoot me?"
"Nope. I told ya, I don't like guns. But you're not shooting anyone either."
Charlie released the clip and emptied it, then snapped the bullet out of the
chamber. He put the bullets in his pocket, then tossed the empty clip out an
open window and dropped the gun on the floor well out of Garth's reach.
"You stupid little faggot eunuch!" Garth said, "Now you got no defense
against me. You coulda shot me right here and no one would ever know."
"Is that what you wanted?"
"Don't really matter. I'm gonna die anyway. I got a bad case of AIDS, lil
brother. I was hopin' to share it with you before I go, but you don't seem
to be interested. I was never gonna shoot you, that's too good for you."

"You've got AIDS?" Charlie questioned. "How did you get that?"
"Who the hell knows? Screwing some bitch, dirty needle, gettin' it on with
some old guy. Who knows? What's it matter anyway?"
"I guess it doesn't. But Garth, there's lots of drugs now... you don't have
to die."
"Yeah, I tried the drugs, but they're expensive. If I'm gonna spend that
kinda money I can think of lots of drugs that make me feel good, not
sicker. And besides, now that I got it, I don't have to worry about who I
sleep with. They can't give me what I already got."
"But you'll spread it!"
"So?"
"Garth, you can't do that! Come home with me. I know Dad'll take you
back. He'll get you on a drug rehab program, and get drugs for the AIDS...
I know he'd do that for you."

Garth looked at his brother questioningly. Charlie thought for a moment he
saw doubt in those hard eyes. He even thought he saw the signs of a tear.
"Nahh!" Garth said finally as the hardness reappeared, "The ole man hates
me. No way he'd want me around."
"Not the way you are maybe. But all you gotta do is show him that you
really want to come back. I know he'd give you a chance!"
"What makes you think I want to come back?"
"If you don't, you'll die. An' from what I hear AIDS is not a nice way to
die."
"I'm not gonna die of AIDS. You can shoot me now that you got that gun,
but I don't suppose you will. You would shoot a cow to put her outa her
misery, but I guess I don't mean that much to you. No problem, I got other
ways."
"You're not gonna shoot yourself!" Charlie said with shock.
"Nahh. That's not my style. Now why don't you get outa here? You got
that high class school to go to."
"How? You trashed my bike. I don't know where I am anyway."
"You got feet haven't ya? I'm not driving you, I got places to go."

Charlie turned and started to walk away. He kept a look out of the corner
of his eye, but Garth didn't move. "Charlie?" Garth called as Charlie was
in the doorway.
"Yeah Garth?" he said as he turned. He couldn't remember the last time
Garth had called him Charlie.
"Knock 'em dead, guy! You're gonna be great! I know it!"

"Garth..." Charlie answered, "Ya want to know something crazy? What
you wanted to do... I mean... you know... sex. If you had asked me instead
of tryin' to force me, I'da let ya. I wanted you to, Garth! I love you!"
"Yeah, right! And me with AIDS!"
"I didn't know that then..."
"Go on, get outa here, Tonio! You got a great life, good family, a big
brother that's good to you like you deserve. Go back to 'em and make 'em
proud!"

Charlie thought about his comment. Something inside him wanted to run
and give him a hug, but he didn't. He knew somehow that he'd never see
his brother again. "Be well, Garth." he called back, "Take care of yourself,
ok?" then he walked slowly out the door, down the overgrown trail to the
road.

"There he is!" Dennis yelled. It was almost midnight and the pair were
about to give up and go home to wait, when Dennis spied Charlie walking
slowly along the road. He had been walking more or less in a daze, having
no earthly idea if he was going right or wrong. "Charlie!" they both yelled
as Andy screeched to a stop, "Are you all right? Are you hurt? Did that..."
"I'm fine, Dad." he answered lifelessly. He didn't get a chance to say any
more because Andy's lips were on his. "You had us sick with worry!"
Dennis said, "What did that SOB do to you? Where is he? What's he..."
"He won't be bothering us any more." Charlie said. He was fighting tears,
but they were filling his eyes, clouding his vision.
"Did he hurt ya?" Andy asked with concern.
"No Andy. I owe ya another one, bro. He was all drugged up, so I had no
problem with him. He didn't lay a finger on me"
"Where is he now?"
"I dunno. He said he had places to go."

When the trio arrived home they found Karen absolutely frantic. Dennis
had called to tell her Charlie was all right, but when she called the sheriff's
office to tell them, she got another surprise. "Dennis," she said as her eyes
filled with tears, "Garth is dead."
"Dead?" Charlie questioned, "But I was with him just a couple hours
ago!"
"He tried to rob a convenience store. There was a silent alarm, and when
the police showed up he tried to shoot it out with them. They shot him
dead!"
"Tried to shoot it out with an empty gun?" Charlie asked.
"That's right! But how in the world did you know?" Karen asked.
"Cause I got the bullets right here." Charlie answered, "I took the gun
away from him and took the bullets. Oh man, I killed my own brother!"
"Did he know you took the bullets, son?" Dennis asked.
"Course he knew! He was standin' right there watchin' me!"
"Then he killed himself, Charlie. You didn't kill him. But you might have
prevented a police officer from being killed."

"Can I see those bullets?" Andy asked. Charlie quickly dug them out of his
pockets and handed them to Andy, glad to be rid of them. "What're you
gonna do, Andy?"
"Gonna give them a new home, in the bottom of the back pond."
"But... Charlie didn't do anything wrong." Dennis said.
"We know that, and the cops probably do too. But when you've been in
the system for 12 years, you learn to avoid issues that don't matter anyway.
All these bullets can do now is cause a lot of questions and suspicions that
we just don't need. This conversation never happened, right Dad?"

Andy and Charlie didn't leave for school the next morning. Charlie
refused to budge until Dennis agreed to let him attend Garth's funeral.
"You don't have to." Dennis had assured him, "Under the circumstances,
everyone will understand."
"I won't," Charlie said stubbornly, "All I understand is that he's my
brother. I'm alive in a great home and family, and he's dead. He killed
himself, so he musta been hurting pretty bad. I'm not gonna add to that
hurt by not going to his funeral." He didn't tell anyone that Garth was
dying of AIDS... there was just no point. He hadn't told them Garth's last
words to him, that it had occurred to him then that Garth knew he was
going to die, and soon. He just clung all the closer to Andy, and they made
love.

                *       *       *

If you wish to comment on this story, please send your comments to me at
charlieje@mindspring.com