Date: Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:48:30 -0400
From: alexxxapathy@aim.com
Subject: Beach Boys Chapter Six (young friends)

Needless to say, I was in absolutely no hurry to get home quickly. By now
it had to be close to nine or ten, and while my loving parents weren't
exactly overprotective I knew that Jackson was bound to be more than
furious with me upon my return. Not for any rational reason of course. He
probably couldn't have cared less about whether or I was kidnapped or
lost or hurt. Hell he probably wouldn't have even wanted me back if it
wasn't for the mangled car he had in the driveway. But after an accident
like that he was sure to be drunk. Drunk and very eager to take out some
of his pent up aggression. This time, however, I wasn't about to let him
push me around. Jamie had changed something in me; had given me a sense
of worth. Someone loved me.

All the way home that was my mantra. I'm done taking all this shit from
him. I'm done being abused. I'm done rolling over and being the victim
for his senseless anger spells. This wasn't my fault. Ever since my
mother started dating him not once had I ever done a single thing to
incite any sort of negativity from him. I'd never turned down a request,
always stayed out of the way when he wanted to be alone with MY mother,
which was all the time, hell I'd never even told anyone about the violent
way he treated me whenever his mood was bad. I was shaking with
frustration just thinking about it all. I haven't done anything wrong! I
felt tears forming behind my eyes, despite my best attempt at holding
them back. My whole life I'd never really had a father. Mom's usual trend
was to go on a date or two with a guy, and then leave him and move on to
someone else. Then last year she met Jackson, and I finally thought I'd
have a dad. Ironically my wish was granted, he stuck, and the tor ture
began.

As I approached my house I felt the confidence I'd be fostering begin to
falter. Jackson had that ability, to take away my strength and make me
small. As I reached the door I could feel my stomach constricting, my
head geting light. And not in the good way. I had to deal with this
though, otherwise things would end up worse. With that thought I pushed
my way through the door before logic could take over.

The TV in the living room was left on, a stupid sitcom, and I could hear
angry voices coming from the kitchen. Both sounded slurred. I heard a
smashing glass. With that I ran into the room. Jackson was roaring at my
mother while slamming the table and kitchen furinture around, and mom was
screaming right back and throwing glasses his way. The moment I stepped
through the vestibule the entire chaotic scene froze momentarily. They
both ceased to argue and turned towards me. Mom was the first to speak.

"Honey you're home, so nice of you to leave a note." She was sober, what
an unpleasant surprise.

"You know how worried your mother was you fuckin' brat?!", Jackson
screamed at me.

This was the worst of all possible scenarios. When Jackson was drunk, as
he very clearly was now, but mom was sober, it meant that she hadn't
scored anything. And when she was forced into temporary sobriety she
really couldn't give a shit about anyone else, myself included. There
wasn't any salvation coming. Mom glared at me, her eyes ringed in a
sunken red tinge, then picked up a cigarette off the table and left the
room. Now it was only Jackson and me.

There weren't any words, or at least none that I heard. In fact I
couldn't really pick up on sounds at all. That meat packing sound bodies
make when they're struck repeatedly, glutteral half-english beast words,
kitchen furniture being rocked and a plate smashing against the ground
from the table. But I wasn't really there. I'd resigned myself to my
fate. I was gone. As he hit me and yelled at me and threw me around the
kitchen I couldn't even really feel the pain of the beating. I knew my
ribs were going to hurt much worse. I knew my arms and legs would
undoubtedly be bruised. I probably wouldn't be able to walk tomorrow if
he didn't stop soon. But I could feel tears coming down my face. Acid
tears, burning a trail along my cheeks, reminding me of reality's
cruelty. I saw Jamie's face in my mind's eye.

When I woke up I found that it was around 6:30 AM of the next day. I was
in my bed. My door was closed, and I was left in the clothing I'd been
wearing from the previous day. My head throbbed and my body ached. I
attempted to get up to reach my cell, but the pain was so excruciating
that I simply collapsed back against the bed and started to cry. I hated
Jackson for hurting me like this. I hated my mother for being too caught
up in her own shit life to pay any attention to mine. And most of all I
hated myself. I hated myself for being to weak to stop Jackson from
throwing me around like a ragdoll when he felt like it. I hated myself
for being too pathetic to garner up the courage to report my abuse to
anyone in a position of authority that might be able to help me. I hated
myself for possessing whatever trait it was about me that must have
driven my mother to this junkie lifestyle. I hated myself for thinking
that everything in my life would suddenly be fixed now that Jamie a nd I
were togethor. Jamie...
I was overwhelmed; nothing made sense anymore. I couldn't trust my
parents to love or accept me. I definately wasn't ready to come out to
the other guys in school and on the team about myself and Jamie.
Everything was a swirl of wild emotions and unforgiving logic. I
abandoned all this thought. I didn't need to think... I just needed
Jamie. Right now. Covered in bruises even worse than before, tired and
alone, my entire body aching, I needed him to be my savior again. But
they say God helps those who help themselves, so I knew I'd be taking the
first step.

Summoning all my willpower, I forced my body into an upright position,
eventually turning to my side to face the nightstand by the bed. Before
reaching for my cell phone I turned to look at my reflection in the small
mirror I kept there. It was cracked in the corner, but still accurate. I
noted that there was a small cut under my chin, and another negligable
knick above my right eyebrow, but aside from that Jackson really hadn't
done any damage to my face. In fact even the bruise near my mouth from
his last beating had almost faded away. I'd been lucky in that department
at least. I dialed his numbers and held my breath for his response, but
only got a message machine. Shit! It was only 6:30 in the morning, what
had I been expecting? I started crying a little. I couldn't handle all
this right now, I just couldn't. Miserable, I layed back down and let
myself sleep.

I didn't wake up until 7:00 AM the next day. For a second I considered
calling Jamie again but then it hit me... it was Monday! Shit! I
scrambled to get up, enciting a very prominent spike of pain through some
part of my torso; I couldn't even tell what was hurt and what wasn't
anymore. It didn't matter. I threw off my dirty, no doubt blood-stained
clothes for a pair of white basketball shorts and a plain black teeshirt.
Hearing the bus's approach I left the same socks I'd been wearing on and
just slipped into some slip-on Van's, grabbed my bookbag full of
incompletely homework assignments from the weekend, and ran as quickly as
I could out the room for the bus. But I was stopped dead by my body's
outright refusal to move at that speed. I almost doubled over as I ran
down the hallway, and by the time I got out the door the bus had gone. I
wonder if I'll ever catch that damned thing... oh well. I set off to
Eric's.

Once again I caught him on the way out. "Can I get a ride?", I inquired
breathlessly. He laughed.

"I'm gonna' have to start making stops at your place every morning at
this rate little bro. Hop in."

We took off, Eric doing his usual twenty or thirty miles above the speed
limit. Not that we were actually in any danger of being late, he just
always drove like a maniac. It never bothered me though, he had a
convertable and I enjoyed the rush of the wind through my hair as a
pick-me-up, especially on mornings such as this one. He broke my reverie.

"So dude, we haven't chilled in like... forever", I heard his voice from
under the bustery mess the wind was making of his long brown hair. "You
wanna hang out Friday?"

"Yeah dude, sure." He turned to smile at me for a moment and then
returned his focus to the road. For a second I caught a glimpse of my
reflect; I didn't have any noticable facial disfigurations, a load off my
mind.

We got to school and before I had time to reach my usual morning hangout
spot the first bell rang, so I just went straight to ceramics. I got
there before anyone else really and to my surprise saw Jamie sitting with
Mr. Cardi talking. When he saw me he immediately stood up and ran over
though, half-tackling me in a giant hug. My body protested to the sudden
force but my mind had been craving this all morning.

"I missed you baby", he whispered gently into my ear, before releasing me
from his embrace.

I can say that it was more than a little difficult to focus on my project
at first, what with my boyfriend sitting right next to me through the
whole period. My boyfriend. Mine. I repeated it over and over again in my
head. Maybe, I thought, if I kept repeating it the truth would keep me
safe from all the bad things.

The rest of the day I was on Cloud Nine. Despite the nagging pain that
would randomly strike parts of my body if I moved the wrong way, I just
couldn't be anything but happy, not that I was trying. Jamie and I went
out of our ways to run into one another whenever possible in between
classes. We didn't kiss or anything, not here, but we did hug and trade
whispers of affection. I'll admit it was a little perturbing in a way not
being able to be public about our relationship, but without having spoken
much about it we both sort of knew that for now at least we should keep
it private. In a way it was a little exciting, almost like we were
pulling off some secret spec ops mission and getting away with it, right
underneath everyone's noses! Hahaha.

At the end of the day he had to leave for baseball practice, and I for
the soccer practice I wouldn't be participating in. Before we parted ways
though he told me to meet him in the locker rooms after soccer ended,
which was always lasted about twenty minutes longer than baseball. I
spent the entirety of practice wondering about what he had in mind. At
some point I actually stopped even paying attention to my team and
started watching Jamie on the other field. He was actually a very good
baseball player, one of the best on the team to be sure. I probably could
have sat there in the shade watching him play the whole day long, but
rather suddenly it began to rain. Both practices were cancled and all the
players were dismissed and sent to the lockers. I got there first, and
immediately ran into him when he came in with the baseball crowd.

"You looked great out there", I told him with a stealthy wink, "You're
gonna dominate Friday."

"Thanks dude, I sure hope we win", he responded cheerfully. Then he
pulled me off from the rest of the guys and asked "Do you want to come
over my place today? My parents won't be home for half an hour at least."

"Duh!", I responded quietly, "But how are we getting there? I don't want
to walk in this" As if to make my point a bolt of lighting rended the sky
above the field.

"No worries, my older brother Mark just got his permit yesterday. I tried
calling you to chill but you didn't pick up. Anyways he said he'd pick me
up from practice and drop me off before he goes to work. I called him a
minute ago, and he should be hear real soon."

"This is awesome, I definately could not have tolerated another day with
Jackson!", I exclaimed happily. Looking real quick to make sure noone was
watching, I quickly gave him a peck on the lips, lingering for just a
second before grudgingly retracting. His face was priceless.

"I love you too", he whispered. "Now let's get out and wait for Mark."

Things were finally looking up again.

------------------------------------------------------

Hi guys. I'm not one to really inject myself into the narratives, but
I've been getting lots of emails from you guys and just wanted to thank
anyone who responded, it means a lot. I've been getting to know some radd
people off here! Sorry this one was so terribly delayed, I've been
writing my 12th Grade Term Paper for AP English, and let me tell you it
took FOEVER!!! Haha but that's over now so if you guys are still reading
this let me know, and will certainly keep the chapters coming. Questions,
criticism, thoughts, ect are all welcome! Enjoy your lives =]