Date: Sat, 25 May 2002 13:43:43 -0400 From: Stan Unknown Subject: Chapter 20 Of Beating The Odds Chapter Twenty "Kevin, you have all of us to support you now. We're all your friends. And none of this will ever go out of this room," Dave said. "Thanks," Kevin answered. Then everyone turned to Josh. "Oh, so it's my turn to pour out my life story in front of all of you? I don't know. I think I've changed my mind. I think my last spanking was like five or six. My story would pale in comparison to everyone else's. Plus, Jimmy hasn't told his," Josh said. "Me? Mine's simple," Jimmy answered. "Then tell it," Josh said. "If I do, will you?" he asked. "Maybe," Josh said, with a smirk on his face. "If I tell my story, you have to, also," Jimmy said, as he walked up to Josh with his fist balled up and placed it under his chin. "Now I'm really scared," Josh answered, as he grinned at Jimmy. "You should be," Jimmy giggled, as he kissed Josh lightly on the lips. "But you have to promise!" "Ok, Ok, I said I'd do it. God, this is like some kind of confessional or something. And I'm not even Catholic." "Just remember you promised. Ok, me," Jimmy said, as he paced around and got his thoughts together. "Ok, let's see. My family life isn't like any of yours. I don't think I've ever gotten spanked. My brother either. My `rents are way too enlightened for that. They just rant and rave when I've done something they don't like and take away privileges. I think they know I'm gay, but are in denial." "What do you mean?" Dave asked. "Well, I've never had a real boyfriend before," Jimmy answered. "Before Josh, that is," he said, and giggled. Josh just grinned at him in response. "But my Dad is really strict. He is an Executive Vice President at Merrill Lynch. He expects to run our family like he does his company. He thinks nothing of coming into our rooms and searching for anything he wants." "God, that sucks," Ryan said. "You've got that right. He does it to my brother, too, but he hasn't found anything yet. But I had a net boyfriend named Jamie. He lives in Australia. I met him through some gay support group this old guy was running because of some of the stories he had written. Long story. Anyway, my Dad found an e-mail I had sent to Jamie and flipped." "One e e-mail?" Bruce asked. "Yeah. It wasn't like he found some of our ICQ chats. He might have killed me if he had found those," Jimmy said, as he looked sheepishly at Josh. "I don't care, Jimmy. That was long before we met," Josh answered. "I know. I'm sorry. Anyway, he read everything I had sent or had been sent to me. And he was really angry." "That's an invasion of your privacy. I know it's his house, but he should have never done that," Dave said. "That's what I told him, but you don't know my Dad. He thinks he's General McArthur or something at home. We are expected to do everything but salute him when he arrives. Even Mom." "I'd have thought she would have gotten really tired of that a long time ago and divorced him," Jim said. "He's eight years older than her. She was young, had just graduated from college, and even though she was really good looking, she wasn't having much luck finding a job she really wanted to do. She met him at a party and he swept her off her feet. He was rapidly rising through the Merrill Lynch ranks and need a trophy on his arm to impress all his bosses at parties. At least that's the way Mom tells the story. So anyway, it wasn't long until he proposed. He was rich, pretty good looking even though he was lots older, and she accepted. She got pregnant with me after a couple of months and she became a housewife. Steve came along two years later and he got a vasectomy. No more kids," Jimmy said. "They decided they didn't want a big family?" Neal asked. "No, he said that most of the executives at Merrill Lynch had always spoken out against big families and most had two kids. So he did the same." "That kind of sucks. Looks like how many kids you have shouldn't have anything to do with your job," Brian said. "You don't understand how becoming an executive works. There's an old saying my Dad told me after I was about 14. `It's not who you know, it's who you blow!' He totally hates homosexuals, but he was using that to illustrate a point to me about how to run my life after college. He thought it would make some big impact on me or something," Jimmy answered. "I don't get it," Rob said. "What he meant was that you had to suck up to everyone above you to get promoted. If anyone is a gay basher, it's my Dad. But it's really amazing how many gay references he uses to make his points. But he listened to anything his bosses said and basically became a yes man. You should see him at company outings where the families are `invited'. Invited means if you know what's good for you, you'll bring you wife and kids and they'd better behave. Including the wife." "You said your story was simple. This is simple?" Josh asked, joking. "Sorry. I'm an actor, Ok? Once I start talking, I don't know when to shut up. Should I stop now?" "No, go on," Bruce said. "Ok. He would give us all a long talk every time about how we were on the job now. This outing wasn't for fun. We were there to help him with his career. This was OUR JOB! So we would all get dressed up and he would parade us in front of all the executives. We were supposed to be the perfect family. The he would dismiss us and he would go into his vaudeville act." "What's that supposed to mean?" Dave asked. "Have you ever seen when blacks were just being introduced into movies and TV? The term was a `Tom'. They would always shuffle around saying `Yassa' this and `Yassa' that. My Dad was the same way. He would laugh at anything, no matter if it was funny or not and make a complete fool of himself in front of his bosses. My Mom used to pull me aside just to watch his performance. He was totally different than the man we knew." "That doesn't sound like she loved him very much if she ridiculed him in front of his kids," Jim said. "We aren't your average family. We get anything we want. My Dad makes an obscene amount of money. He has prestige, power, and tons of money. And he doesn't mind sharing it with us. I think that's what Mom settled for. She stays with him because she doesn't have to work, she can go to the country club and get a facial or play tennis, maybe take an aerobic class. Maybe do some charity work to make sure she keeps her standing in the community, and basically shops for a living." "Why doesn't she divorce him then, if they don't love each other?" Jim asked. "You ever hear of a pre-nuptial agreement? He made her sign one. If she ever divorces him, she gets her jewelry and her clothes. She gets what money is in her checking account, which is a lot, but he keeps everything else. I don't know if Steve and I are in that or not. Hehehe I doubt it. She signed it when they got married." "So, she's just staying married to him for what she has?" Jim asked, clearly confused. He knew his parents really loved each other, and would be together, no matter what. "Sure. He uses her. She uses him. That's just the way things work." "And what do you do?" Josh asked? "I take after my Mom. I have my own credit cards and I play the game too. I see how much money I can spend before `Dear Dad' goes ballistic. I know he doesn't love me. He just uses me. So I use him back," Jimmy said. "Bullshit!" Josh yelled. "What?" Jimmy asked, startled. "I just don't believe the whole fucking story!" Josh yelled, as he got up and paced around the room. "What don't you believe?" Jimmy asked, scared now. "You're the perfect family, right? You're the rich kids. You have everything. You have the perfect family life I've always dreamed about. Your family can't be as fucked up as mine! It just can't be!" Josh yelled. "You want to come over some time?" Jimmy deadpanned. Josh whirled around and stared at him. Jimmy stared back. Josh finally broke eye contact and walked around in a circle. "Ok, are you ready for my story?" he asked. "Yeah," Jimmy responded. "And you're going to love me no matter what I say?" Josh turned around and glared at Jimmy. "Nothing you can say will make me change my mind," Jimmy answered. "What about all of you?" Josh asked, as he spun around and pointed at everyone else, including Dave. "We aren't going to love you like Jimmy does. But you don't want that anyway. We might all love you as a friend and brother," Dave answered. "But no one here is going to judge you, if that's what you're asking. After all of this, I think we're all brothers now. What do you think, guys?" Dave asked. Dave looked around the room and everyone shook their heads yes. Then he looked back at Josh. "So all of you are going to love me, no matter what I say, no matter how I acted earlier? No matter what I've done?" Josh asked. Everyone just stared at him and shook their heads yes, even Brian and Kevin, who were ready to beat him to a pulp a few minutes before. "You too?" Josh asked Jimmy. "I love you," Jimmy said, as he came up and kissed him hard on the mouth. "You just try to get rid of me. If you do, I'll pour sugar down your gas pipe. That'll destroy your engine and I know you love it as much as you do me, anyway." "You can't. Locking gas cap door," Josh answered. "One of the few things I learned from my Dad will solve that. Really long flat head screwdrivers can be used to break into any locks like that," Jimmy giggled. "He taught you to break into cars?" Josh asked. "Not exactly. But he has a huge set of tools in the basement. Nothing but the best. And he tried to show me a few things before he learned I hate any kind of tools like that. But I can use a screwdriver and I'll bet a liter of sugar water will kill your engine within 20 miles," Jimmy laughed. "He taught you that, too?" Josh grinned back. "No, I think I read that somewhere. You want to take the chance?" Jimmy kidded. "You touch my Trans Am and I'll kill you!" Josh yelled, faking anger. "You do love me, no matter what?" he asked, swinging back around suddenly. "Yeah. Not matter what," Jimmy answered, staring him in the eye with a straight face. "Ok. Where do I start?" ****************** "First, all of you have to understand my family. My Step-Dad owns a business in Savannah. My mom met him here in Atlanta. I don't even remember how they met. It was a long time ago, nine years now, I think. I don't remember the last time I saw my real Dad," Josh said. "We aren't rich, but not poor either. Just kind of middle class. My Step-Dad wanted us to move to Savannah but Mom is a Head Nurse at Northside Hospital in Atlanta and she refused to move. So my Step-Dad would come here on weekends. But now, he seems to only come here maybe two weekends a month. "I don't know why they ever got married. When he's here, all they ever do is fight. He really didn't like kids, so my brother and I always stayed away from the house when he was there. Mom wouldn't even ask us where we'd been. She was too busy yelling at him. "My Mom worked really hard to get to be a Head Nurse. She had to take the worst shift to get the promotion. So she left to go to work at about 9 or 9:30 to make sure she was ready to do her regular 11 to 7 am shift. I would leave after we had dinner together and she never seemed to mind. "I was really into music when I was 12. One new CD of a band I loved then was coming out on a certain date. I had told Mom all about it weeks before it was to be released and she had promised to take me that day to buy it. I had saved up my allowance for a long time to make sure I had enough money. It was really important to me. And I was getting a whopping two dollars a week then, same as my brother, who was ten. So, saving up that much had taken me a long time to do. "The day finally arrived, and Mom had something she had to do before we got home from school. She wasn't home to cook supper, and I was pacing back and forth, waiting on her. She finally got home and had to spend her time getting dinner ready. She finally told me after dinner that she was sorry, but the trip to buy my CD would have to wait. "I was 12. I thought I was 18. I got really mad at her and stormed out of the house. I was going to walk to Wal Mart and buy it myself. I was used to being out at night. No big deal. And she really didn't try and stop me. "I was walking along a road where there weren't any houses that fronted the road. Just thick woods. It was still daylight. There were still lots of cars passing by." ***************** "Hey kid. You need a ride?" I walked over to the door of the car and said through the window, "No thanks. I'm just walking to Wal Mart. Thanks anyway." "That's where I'm going. I need some new batteries. Get in and I'll give you a ride." Now I was big for my age at 12. I could fight really well. I didn't fear anybody. So I said, "Thanks, mister," and got in. He was really friendly. We talked all the way to Wal Mart. He seemed to really want to know what I thought about everything. I really liked him when we finally parked. My Mom loves me, but she was always so busy. I have no idea where my real Dad is. My Step-Dad could care less about me or my brother. So I guess I was eating up all the attention he was showing me. He went with me while I found the new CD. I walked with him while he found the batteries he had come for. I had already eaten supper but Mom had fixed something I really didn't like. I was already mad at her for not taking me to get my new CD like she had promised and I had only eaten a little bit of what she had fixed and then had stormed out of the house. We both paid for what we had bought and were walking out of the store. This was a really big Wal Mart. It had a grocery section and a McDonalds in front. "Hey Josh. I'm really kind of hungry. I think I'm going to get something to eat. Want to get something and eat with me?" he asked. "No thanks, Rick. I ate dinner before I came. You go ahead and I'll just walk home." "Come on, Josh, you're a growing boy. I know you could still eat a hamburger. I'll buy if you'll stay and eat with me. I'm really enjoying talking to you." That did it. An adult was enjoying talking to me? And he was going to buy? It was only a minute later and we were sitting in a booth in the back. He had bought me a Big Mac, large fries, and a chocolate shake, all my favorites, and we were talking like we were old friends. "You know Josh, You remind me of a boy in a movie I just bought. You look just like him. You've never acted before, have you?" Rick asked. "No," I answered, curious. "You're a really good looking boy. I just wondered. And you really do look like the boy in the movie. I just had to make sure it wasn't you," he said. I just laughed and said, "Well, it sure wasn't me." "Ok. Have you ever seen it? It's called `Lord of the Flies'." "No, I've never heard of it," I answered. "What time to do you have to be home? I live just a short distance away. Do you want to go home with me long enough for me to show you the boy I was talking about? I could fast forward the movie and show you your double and then take you home anytime you say. I've heard that everyone has a double somewhere that looks just like you. And I swear this kid is yours." I was really curious. I really liked Rick. He seemed really nice and I was enjoying taking to him. "Sure, I would like that. My Mom will leave for work soon, but she doesn't care if I stay out at night. My Dad lives in Savannah and my brother will go to bed soon. I could probably stay and watch the whole movie," I answered. Rick just grinned at me, as we got up and put our trash in the receptacle. And my life totally changed as we walked out the door. To Be Continued E-mail responses to the stories, story suggestions or other 'constructive' comments or advice may be sent to: stan992001@hotmail.com. All e-mails will be answered. You can also visit the young gay guys support group I created after my "Matt and Mike" story at www.groups.yahoo.com/group/gbct or our web site at www.gayteensunite.org. There is a forum section there where you can enter comments about this story for everyone to see.