Date: Wed, 14 Feb 2001 08:05:45 +0100 From: Lange Subject: betrayed love - chapter seven umm, don't read this if: ~you are younger than 18 ~you are homophobic or you just generally don't like this sort of stories ~this is forbidden where you live = that means, read if you're sure you can risk it. thanks to William Watts for editing this ... I think the story would look not too good if he didn't do it ... not that I'm convinced of my writing ability. :) thanks to Silvia for 'helping' me with the story line. ahh yeah, my homepage is http://home.t-online.de/home/lange.ruegen go there if you're interested in other stuff I write. forgot about this the last time: tis story is copyright my n-c-g [that's me, btw :-)]. All rights reserved. ... uhh, doesn't that sound dumb? :) so ... I hope nobody is offended by this chapter and you can enjoy it and please mail me if you like or dislike or whatever the story. ------- !!!!NOTE!!!! don't really have something that's so important today, but well...i hope all of you are fine. and hi to the guys from Nick's stories, if you'll be ever reading this. nothing moreto add, except this chapter is pretty short compared to the last ones, but it would look bad if it was longer. -------- ~~~~~~~~ ~~~ ~ chapter seven - confused, scared and lonely When Eric awoke, the TV screen was blank and the sun had already warmed certain parts of his body. He looked up and the clock; it read 10 a.m. He leaned back, closed his eyes and then opened them once more, confirming to himself that it was indeed only 10. His parents would be back at 12, so that gave him two hours. Well, he wouldn't need that much time, that was for sure. His eyes closed again and his fingers wandered, almost automatically, to his penis. He began caressing the warmed-up organ that was pressed hard against his belly, enjoying the sensations as it stirred to life. Thinking about Jason, he pretended that it was Jason's touch and the movements soon became frantic. It was not long before the combination of friction and fantasy brought him to his climax and he shot his load onto his chest. Some of the cum dripped onto the cushion under him and he groaned, knowing he'd have to clean it up later. He grabbed the remote control and turned the TV back on. Not surprisingly, there was not really anything good on. His thoughts now wandered, and ,for the first time that day, he remembered everything about Peter. He began to think about what had happened yesterday, besides his visit to the hospital. Suddenly another thought crossed him mind, and he jumped to his feet and turned on the radio. If he was lucky, he'd catch some news. "...yesterday. Nobody saw the car that hit the young man, but the police suspect that it may not have been an accident. A police spokesman has commented that the incident occurred in the early evening, when it would have been difficult for a driver not to have seen the 19-year old teenager. Police have asked that anyone who might have information pertaining to this situation call or come to the police station and tell them what you know. The family has stated that they can think of no one who would want to hurt their son, as he was a very much respected and admired part of his neighborhood. Now we'll continue on with the weather..." Peter was dead. This had confirmed it. Powerless, Eric's hand slipped over the button to turn off the radio and he sank to the ground in the middle of the room. Everything he had tried to keep from thinking about came crashing down on him now. How could he possibly live knowing that he had killed someone. Well, not actually killed him...it had not been him driving and it had not been entirely his fault that Peter had died, had it? The thing was, he had been there, he knew what had happened, and he knew who was partly responsible for Peter's death. What if someone found out about it now? Would he have to go to prison? The longer he sat on the carpet the more desperate he became. The tears were streaming down his face and left wet streaks on his cheeks, neck and chest. After staring off into space for another half an hour, he finally pulled himself together and went to take a shower, hoping to be able to relax a little. It did relax him some, although he was still shocked and shaking. Stepping out of the shower, he toweled himself dry and put on his watch. He was amazed when he noticed that he had barely half an hour left to clean up the mess he had made on the couch. A grin crossed his face when he imagined what his parents would think if they saw the dried cum there. Eric grabbed a cloth and some water and tried to carefully clean the couch without wetting it too much but, honestly, it didn't quite work and the cum was now replaced by a puddle of water. Hoping his parents wouldn't notice it right away, he thought the cleanig to be sufficient, and he went to his room to put at least a pair of boxers on. His parents didn't like him walking around in the nude. He had felt their disapproval, although they had never said so, but he had caught several less than approving glares from his father. He simply had to take that as some kind of sign. It was as much emotion as his father would ever show him, concerning his approval or disapproval about when he did. Well, maybe he should just do as he liked, as his parents didn't seem to care anyway. He could do whatever he wanted and not care about what others thought, but that would make him just like his parents, and he did not want that. He did care about other people's feelings and he enjoyed showing his own feelings. He had noticed that at home he already tried to suppress everything, the way his parents did, but he didn't want to end up like that. Not if it meant that couldn't feel the way he did about Jason. He felt alive because of the feelings he had for Jason. And even being hurt on a daily basis because of Jason's unconscious rejection of him, he still felt alive. He was not sure whether his parents even loved each other. He had never noticed any affection between them, although somehow *he* must have been 'made'. Just having barely thought about that, he heard his parent's keys in the door. His father entered first, passing Jason without even looking at him, and his mother stepped in behind her husband. She looked at Jason briefly, giving him only a disinterested look. Well, what else should he have expected? Without a word he turned and walked to his room, closing the door as soon as he had stepped inside. Tears threatened to fall again, but he prevented them from doing so. No emotion would be allowed to show here. He put a CD into the stereo and listened to the music, standing motionless in the middle of his room. He was jealous of how much emotion the singer had released with just the one song. As he was thinking about all of that, he decided he was getting hungry. He turned on his heels, doing a quick about-face, and walked into the kitchen. It was lunch-time, so he fixed himself something to eat. A quick glance into the living room confirmed what he had suspected, there were paper tissues over the wet stain he had made cleaning up his mess. He looked at his parents, but neither of them said a word about it. They never said anything to him... not even when they were angry with him. He could remember times when he was younger, when he had tried, really tried, to provoke them, but they never reacted. That one time he had intentionally dropped his mother's very expensive vase in the middle of the living room, she merely looked at him with a blank stare before she bent down to clean up the mess he had made. He had watched her cleaning-up the mess for a minute or two, and then he ran to his room. Eric never saw any point in doing anything like that again, having proven his point and knowing the things he thought about his parents were true. There were no words spoken during lunch, but you couldn't really say that it was an awkward or uncomfortable silence, because it was always that way. When he had finished eating, he put his plate into the sink, went out onto the backyard and lay down on the warm grass. If his parents didn't care about him, he didn't care about them either. Sometimes it even worked to his advantage that he had nothing to do with them and it gave him something to brag to Steven about. Steven often told Eric how he would really like to treat his parents that way, as he always put it. Eric did not see it as such an advantage, but he knew that he'd hurt more if he reacted every time his parents acted cold and aloof, and he wouldn't be able to stand that for very long. Even just being in their presence hurt him each time they acted that way but, well, it would hurt even more if he let their indifference get to him. It was a wonder that he could feel anything at all for Jason and, even more surprising that he could acknowledge it to him. Playing with the grass next to his body, one thought entered his mind for the first time. Did these feelings make him gay? Well what was gay anyway? He did like Jason and he didn't want to worry whether he was gay or not. These labels didn't bother him and they only meant something bad to prejudiced people, anyway. Maybe he shouldn't have gone to the hospital. Maybe he really didn't feel anything for Jason after all. Maybe it had only been his imagination to get away from everything at home. Maybe he had only wished to feel that way to get away from his parents and to be different from them. But maybe these were simply too deep of thoughts for a Sunday afternoon. He did not really want to go to his room though. It was nice to feel the sun on his naked body and on the fabric of his boxers, making his groin area all tingly. It was a really pleasant feeling, he thought. He really wanted to do something about it, but he would have to do that somewhere there was some privacy. His modesty and feelings of shame always kept him from jacking- off in front of his parents. He couldn't always prevent his hand from traveling to his crotch though but, when he caught himself doing that, he would go to his room to finish what he had started. What was it with him these days, that he was always horny? Even some plain, old sunbeams could arouse him enough to make him leave his nice place in the sun. He supposed his parents were still where he had left them, but he did not approach them and he went directly to his room. His nipples had slightly shriveled when he had entered the house, because the air conditioner had made the inside of the house a few degrees colder than the outside. There were even a few goosebumps showing on his chest and arms. The hairs on his arms stood upward and intensified the feeling of the air- movement around him. As soon as the door closed behind him, he let out the breath he'd been holding in. He couldn't stand to live like this much longer, especially with his robot-like parents. He would go crazy if he had to live this much longer, but first he had to take care of some business. He did not want to hurry this time. He wanted to enjoy this. He slid his boxers down again, being now in the privacy of his room. It simply felt better without them on, although he was always fully clothed when he slept over somewhere or when somebody slept over at his house. It had been ages since anyone had done that. He didn't want to embarrass anyone with the nakedness thing, and he didn't want to be embarrassed by his parents' non-caring attitude. The second reason was that there was nobody he would like to invite, no one that he liked enough to take that chance. Sure, most people say that he was close enough to Steven, but he was afraid of what Steven might think or do. Of course, there was Jason, but Jason would be more than *a little* surprised if he asked him over for a sleepover. He sat down at the computer and played lazily with his cock, while starting a computer game. It was a more or less unconscious reaction and it was not done to really pleasure himself. He couldn't concentrate on that while doing something else, and still do it the way that he liked it. It felt nice though. He knew that if he ever had children he would teach them that it's perfectly okay to be in the nude and that it's perfectly okay to show what you are feeling, but he was probably thinking too much about such things. He should, instead, be enjoying what he was doing. He decided to keep those other thoughts buried somewhere deep down in his mind. He grabbed the joystick and started playing the car-racing game he had bought himself for his last birthday. His eyes and his hand got tired after playing for four or five hours and he lay down on the bed hoping to lessen the cramps in his arms and back a little. He relaxed completely and fell asleep, curled up on the bed like a baby, letting the sunlight play over his hips and buns and showing off his well-defined, but not overly so, muscles. He snored slightly, but it was so quiet that it already passed as an adorable feature. Eric hadn't done that for years, just sleeping on a nice Sunday afternoon. When he awoke again, the sky was glowing in bright red, orange and yellow hues. He stood at the door to the balcony and looked out into the sunset, halfway embracing himself while imagining that it was Jason behind him. He could feel Jason stroking his sides and tummy, caressing his nipples and standing with his chest pressed against Eric's back. He imagined it was Jason's hand on his penis, and not his own, and that brought him closer and closer to the fast approaching climax. He closed his eyes and could almost smell Jason's scent and hair. Then he imagined one final series of things, he imagined that he could feel Jason's member against his butt and his stream of cum hit the glass on the door in front of him. Because of the reflections of the sunlight about the room, the cum-stains glowed in different shades of white and orange, as did the front of Jason's body. When he looked at the image in front of him, his eyes started tearing up. Oh, what he would give to make this fantasy come true...