Date: Sun, 28 May 2000 11:52:46 -0700 From: David Cross Subject: cameron-4 The usual disclaimers apply - ie. no reading this if you're not of age to read it, and no peeking at this if you can't stand gay people (which would bring to mind the question of what the hell you're doing reading this anyway). Names and places (but not the city I lived in) have been changed to protect the privacy of both myself and the people who I'm inserting into this story. All questions etc can be directed to dcross1@home.com "Don't let it be forgot, that once there was a spot, for one brief shining moment that was known as Camelot." ---- I don't remember thinking about too much on the walk home; I was still coming to grips with the changes that had happened to me in the last couple of days. One thing that did come to the forefront though was whether or not my parents and brothers would understand the concept of my being gay, never mind that I was "seeing someone". I wanted them to find out in a way that I could control, at least partially - I certainly didn't want them finding out by walking in on Cameron and myself kissing! I opened the front door, and I noticed my brothers weren't downstairs watching TV; they must have gone upstairs and began playing with the Nintendo system. I slipped into the bathroom which was just around the corner from the kitchen, and checked myself over in the mirror - hair not too mussed up, and it was windy outside anyway. No suspicious stains on my shirt, and I didn't think the smell of orgasmic fluid would be noticed, especially if I managed to avoid being too close to Mom or Dad. I took a deep breath and prepared to face the parental units. I knew they had a tendency to get Gestapo on me whenever I deviated from my fairly regular routine of school, the library, and homework. Last year they'd practically run me through the Spanish Inquisition over a relatively minor matter of where the money came from to pay for an all-day excursion throughout the city of Richmond that myself and another friend, Sam, had engaged in. Basically, I'd put my lunch money that I'd saved up through the week in with the money I was given, and when the change that came back didn't balance (I forgot and gave them back an extra dollar), well, you can imagine what the 30-minute Q&A session involved. Given this, I was slightly nervous about the possibility of having to think fast on my feet in order to avoid getting caught in a logical inconsistency. I couldn't very well just say "Oh, I'm gay and Cameron and I are doing things you never imagined I'd do." Great conversation opener, not! I decided if I stuck as close to the truth as possible and then said we lost track of time playing games on his Sega Genesis, it would work. I rounded the corner and walked into the kitchen; Mom was just unloading the dishwasher and putting the dishes, cups, et cetera back into their proper places. I said, "Hi, Mom. Sorry I came in so late." She said, "Where were you?" Mind you, her tone wasn't accusatory; she was just honestly curious. Fate smiles on fools, little children, and gay teens sometimes, it seems. "Ah, I was just out at Richmond Square - we walked around for ages, played a couple games at the arcade, and then went back to Cameron's place and he showed me his Sega Genesis." I hoped my voice hadn't trembled a little. I tended to be a lousy liar. "OK. Well, your dinner's just waiting in the microwave." I poured myself a glass of milk, set it on the table, and then I walked over and hit a couple of buttons on the microwave to heat the dinner up for a minute and a half, then when the microwave beeped, I took out the plate, unwrapped it, got a knife and fork and sat down at my usual place to eat dinner. Just when I thought that would be the end of it, Mom closed the dishwasher door and asked, "So is Cameron a nice guy?" I almost damn near about did a double take, and then realized she didn't mean the double entendre. This Espionage 101 stuff took more practice than I thought. "Oh, he's cool. I'll probably keep hanging out with him and stuff." "Good. I got a little worried about you when you were out so late." "I'm OK, Mom." "Yes, I can see that now. I just can't help it sometimes." Was she going to keep me here even when I was going to go to university?! Apron strings be damned, I thought. "Anyway, I'm going to go upstairs and do homework." "OK, David. Bedtime at 9:30!" I finished off my supper, put the plate, cup and utensils in the sink and let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. Jesus, but being gay could make you even more paranoid. Damn, but I hated this cloak-and-dagger stuff. I wasn't cut out for these chess games of anticipating someone else's move, and preparing my countermove. It was fun to read about that sort of thing in books, but living it was another matter entirely. I walked upstairs, seemingly normal as I had done so many times before, but internally it felt like a leaden weight was on each foot. I walked down the upstairs hallway to my bedroom, closed the door, lay back on the bed and groaned. After about 5 minutes of wondering how I was going to deal with life, I decided with some difficulty that I would simply have to cast the problem aside, and do homework. At about 9:00, I had finished the math questions and the first half of a question set for English. Thankfully, the English teacher wouldn't assign the second half until next week. I picked up the book I'd just gotten recently from Dad when he'd gotten back from one of his frequent business trips. It was titled _The Caves of Steel_ and it was by Isaac Asimov. I'd read a portion of it in U.S.S.R. in school, and wanted to finish it tonight since it was, in a word, captivating. All too quickly, though, 9:30 rolled around and I put the book down, disappointed to have to stop reading about the adventures of Elijah Baley, mentally cursed early bedtimes, turned out the light, and began a sleep that would be filled with strange dreams. *** The next morning *** I woke up with a start, and caught a glimpse of the clock. 6:30 AM. I was breathing heavily, as though I'd done the 4-minute mile. My dream came rushing back to me: I was in the kitchen as normal, but my parents were sitting on either side of the table with me at the end, in my usual suppertime place. Only they weren't eating supper with me; they were hurling questions and accusations! Dad without a trace of warmth or concern, Mom alternately crying and furious. "Who is that Cameron boy? Why do you like him so much? Aren't you going to get a girlfriend? How will we explain this to Dad's co-workers and Mom's friends? What will his parents say?" and it went on and on in a whirl of yelling and cussing so rapid I couldn't remember the rest of the words; I just knew that I was grateful to have woken up when I did. I dragged myself out of bed, grabbed some clothes to wear for the day and trudged into the bathroom, remembering to lock the door. I turned on the light and looked in the mirror, and the reflection seemed to be of a person tired and old; years later, when Premier Dan Miller's picture went on the paper the day after he assumed the office in the wake of Premier Glen Clark's resignation, I recognized the similarity - it was the same expression of utter defeat, yet the show had to go on with him as the lead role. Well, I didn't know anything about Dan Miller at the time, of course. I just knew that I couldn't live this lie forever, but I had to deal with it somehow. It helped to remember the sensation still new to me; that a person who cared about me, body and soul, would be at school that day and that I would be able to take comfort from his presence. It took some of the leaden weight off my shoulders, and I stepped into the shower stall, feeling slightly more confident. Having finished the morning ritual and seeing it was only 6:50 AM, I stepped downstairs and got some cereal, then came back up and booted up the Apple. I ran the terminal program, and dialled into a couple of BBSes which were focussed on the Apple, and I viewed the public messages, and made notes of a couple files I wanted to download later that day. I logged off the second BBS, and shut off the computer. By 7:30, I'd finished getting my books into my backpack, and headed out the door. By 7:50, I was at my locker, making sure I was ready for the day ahead. Classes for the day would be Consumer Education, Social Studies, Math, French, and English. I had some time to kill before the first class, and I walked around school, not noticing too much. Nodding hi to some people I knew, but anticipating the moment when Cameron would arrive, so I could feast my eyes on him again, and find out what we were going to do that weekend. At the thought of spending a whole day with my boyfriend, I began smiling. Ah, life was sweet when your thoughts were filled with someone you loved... that certainly felt good! Just a little after 8, I was walking in the south locker area, and lo and behold! Yay! Cameron was just getting in the door. I rapidly walked over to say hello and I could see his eyes sparkle as he saw me; when I approached within talking distance, he said, "My parents didn't give me too much hassle over the 'dinner'; they were just pleased that I seemed to be impressing chicks! So don't worry about them thinking something's wrong." I felt slightly relieved that the day of reckoning had been pushed off - for now. I said, "Good thing, man. Anyway, I just wanted to feast my eyes on you and find out what was up for this weekend." I winked, and got the pleasure of seeing him blush just ever so slightly. "Well, I was thinking of having you at least meet my parents first, then we could go out to Garry Point and hang out, kinda play it by ear you know?" I knew I'd have to meet his parents sometime, so I didn't mind getting that over with. Garry Point was a beach in southwestern Richmond; I'd never been there, but as it turned out, was a semi-popular hangout for people who needed something to do and didn't want to leave Richmond to do it, but also didn't like the idea of just bumming around at a shopping mall. I said, "Not a bad idea - I don't really have any ideas of my own to add, though." "S'OK. Like I said, we can play it by ear. Besides, the _real_ important part is I get to be with you!" He grinned infectiously, and I began grinning also. Unfortunately, it was now almost 8:15, and classes would begin soon. "Hey Cameron, wanna sit with me again at lunch?" "Sure!" "Ok, I got Math just before that, you want to meet in the lunch area?" "Deal! Seeya then!" I clasped Cameron's shoulder for a couple of seconds, and we shared an intimate glance - one that conveyed the feelings we had for each other even when overlaid by everyday events. I let go of his shoulder, and he touched me lightly on the arm as he smiled and then said softly, "You know I love you, right?" I couldn't do anything but blush, nod, and dash to my Consumer Education class... *** Lunch time *** Classes, thankfully, had not been too boring or I would have found myself inevitably daydreaming about Cameron; hiding the evidence of THAT would have been a bit troublesome! ;) We sat at the same table as the day before, and we began discussing whether or not I should go to his place or he to mine after school, or to just wait until Saturday. I was of the opinion we should wait until Saturday; Cameron wanted me to go over to his place again that night. I pointed out that we'd have all day anyway, and in all honesty I wasn't sure if my parents noticed anything unusual yet. Maybe not, but I didn't want to run any risks if I didn't have to. Cameron eventually agreed, though I could tell he wasn't that happy ahout it. I promised I'd be at his locker before I went home that day, and that seemed to lift his spirits somewhat. We spent the lunch period discussing in depth what we could do on Saturday - it was eventually settled that I would go over to Cameron's place at about 10 am, and be back around 4 or 5 pm. We could then settle whether or not his parents would let me stay for supper or if I would go back home then. All too soon, however, lunch ended and I groaned, thinking of the last two classes to go. Cameron winked and said, "Relax, Dave, just two more to go and you're outta here!" I chuckled and said, "OK, race ya to French!" Of course, the lucky bum had a locker very close to Mrs. Thompson's room, so he got there first. As I walked in the door, I saw him at his desk and he stuck his tongue out at me, to which I responded in kind. I then smiled, nodded my head, and sat at my own desk, waiting for the teacher to begin the lesson. Two hours later, I was back at Cameron's locker, chatting. I said, "So see you tomorrow then?" He replied a little unenthusiastically, "Yeah." Trouble. "I know you're not happy, but please... I don't even know what the risks are if we get busted, I have NO idea how my parents will react!" A panic began to rise within me; would Cameron eventually insist that we show ourselves to the world before evaluating the risks? Or would my parents, even after accounting for all odds and possibilities, throw me out? What about his parents?! He sighed. "I see your point, Dave. I'm sorry for being a little pushy - I was just hoping we'd be able to get together again tonight." My expression mirrored his of disappointment, as I replied, "I know, but I'd rather not have my parents wondering why I'm hanging out with you so much before I get a chance to explain why. They have a real tendency to be nosy." Cameron nodded as he closed and locked his locker. We clasped hands in the arm-wrestling style, and then I touched his shoulder and said, "See ya tomorrow. I'll call you as soon as I check it with my parents, OK?" "Gotcha. I'll let you know what my parents say about it." We gazed into each others' eyes momentarily, and simultaneously smiled at each other; when I realized what had happened, I started giggling; he said "What? Do I have a zit on my face or something?" At that, I broke out laughing. After my laughter subsided, I said, "No, it's not that... it's just that we both did the same thing, like we were twins or something!" At that, Cameron chuckled as well and said, "Well, I can't think of a better guy to have that kind of 'link' with." "Ok, I gotta get going. Be at your place by 10 am tomorrow with bells on." "I'd rather have it with no clothes, but oh well..." I just mock-glared at him and swatted his head lightly with my hand. "Such a dirty mind!" Cameron just waved in response and picked up his backpack; I returned the wave and headed for the northern exit doors and onward home. Supper was the usual ritual, marred only by my Mom coming into my room just before I was about to start doing homework, and asking, "Is everything all right with Cameron? He didn't come here today and you weren't at his place." Parents. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. Had I brought him over, the question likely would have had to do with why I saw him after school three days in a row. I replied, "Yeah, Mom, everything's fine. He just had a lot of homework and stuff. Is it OK if I go to his place tomorrow?" She said, "That's all right. What will you be doing?" Great. Gestapo session had arrived. "I'm not sure yet. I know I'll have to be back at his place by 4 or 5, so I'll be back in time for supper." "Are you going to be going anywhere?" "Maybe Garry Point; I've never been there - it's a beach in Richmond, and he mentioned something about it and said it'd be cool to show me since I haven't seen it." "Well, you be careful; you never know what kind of people are out there these days." I groaned internally and said, "Mom, he's in the same grade in the same school! This isn't some total stranger." She relented and said, "All right, all right. I just worry about you." Looks like the apron strings were back. So much for a long-term loosening. Darn. After Mom left, I called Cameron and relayed the entire Q&A session to him, ending with "I'm not sure if my Mom's just naturally nosy or she really thinks something's wrong. Geez." He said, "Well, it's OK; you got permission, so that's the important thing! My parents want to meet you, and they said it's OK for us to be out tomorrow." Whew. "That's good news and bad news. I'm sorta nervous about meeting your parents. Shit, it feels like we're getting married and I'm meeting the new in-laws!" He chuckled a little and said, "Yeah, but hey, if we *do* get married the in-laws will already know the important people involved!" I hesitated a little before answering; did he mean that comment about getting married? I didn't even know how two people decided they did want to get married, or even whether people in love, and it sure looked like Cameron and I were lovers, talked about marriage so early in a relationship... "I guess that's true. But let's work on the simple part first, which is going out with each other." "Simple?! Yeah, right. Kinda like how dashing across Number Three Road is simple in traffic at 3 in the afternoon!" "Oh yeah? What if it was as simple as crossing that same road at 3 in the morning, eh?" "Uh-huh. That's for the straight couples." I knew what he meant; the comparison to dodging traffic was apt. "Well, we'll get to that later. Anyway, I gotta go." "Yeah, me too. Can't talk too long on the phone, something might slip out!" "Seeya." "Seeya." And thus ended a phone call that, unbeknownst to me, would change my world... ---- And so ends part 4. Looks like the parental units let me off easy that time! *grin* Let me know if I sucked (no, not THAT way, you pervs) :-) Part 5 should be out shortly - apologies for the long delay in getting this part out!