Date: Tue, 8 May 2001 00:49:28 EDT From: Bwstories8@aol.com Subject: The Castaway Hotel-book 4 chapter 6 Legal Notice: The following story contains descriptions of graphic sexual acts. The story is a work of fiction and has no basis in reality. Don't read this story if: **You're not 18 or over, **If it is illegal to read this type of material where you live, **Or if you don't want to read about gay/bi people in love or having sex. The author retains copyright to this story. Placing this story on a website or reproducing this story for distribution without the author's permission is a violation of that copyright. Legal action will be taken against violators. I wish to extend my thank you to Ed for his editorial assistance with this chapter. E-mail responses to the stories, story suggestions, or other 'constructive' comments or advice may be sent to: bwstories8@aol.com. * * * * * * * * Although the boys in these stories have unprotected sex, I strongly urge all of you out there to be smart and protect yourselves from various sexually transmitted diseases by using condoms when having intercourse. * * * * * * * * The Castaway Hotel -Book 4 - by BW (Young-Friends). Copyright 2000 by billwstories Chapter 6 - Learning to cope. March 2001 Pat began handling the situation quite well. He was really trying to do things for himself, though he did sometimes need assistance. The first few nights he woke me every time he needed to use the toilet and I would lead him over, line him up with the bowl or help him find the seat, and then I'd lead him back. After that, he counted the number of steps between the two rooms and he'd use his hands to feel his way there. About the only thing I was really doing for him was putting the salve on his face and bandaging his head. He was doing his best, just in case he did have permanent damage, but we all tried not to dwell on that possibility. Finally it came time for the first of his two doctors' appointments, and I drove him to see the doctor I talked to at the emergency room. When we got to the office, we did the same thing we had been doing to get around. Pat put his hand on my arm and followed my lead and I told him about anything coming up which might give him difficulty. We did get more than a few stares as we walked along and I was glad that Pat couldn't actually see that. We sat in the waiting room for about fifteen minutes and I tried to keep Pat engaged in conversation, so he didn't have a chance to think about the things he could do just then. Finally one of the nurses came out and paged us, led us back to one of the examination rooms, and I helped Pat sit on the examination table, while I took a seat on a chair. It was about ten more minutes before the doctor finally arrived. The doctor came in and said hello, then he asked Pat how he'd been doing and feeling. Pat told him that he'd been doing fine and that he hadn't had a lot of pain or discomfort. The doctor then asked me how he was handling everything and I told him that Pat had been a real trooper and he had handled everything very well. The doctor congratulated him for not letting this get him down, and then he began to cut off this latest set of bandages. He examined his face completely, looking at all the areas affected by the chemicals and then he turned to speak with both of us. "The skin tissue is coming along nicely, but there will be some scarring on the face, especially around the eyes. We may be able to correct some of that with plastic surgery later, but that will be up to the two of you. I'm not qualified to tell you about his eyes, but you should be getting that information from his ophthalmologist. Do either of you have any questions you'd like to ask?" I let Pat go first and he asked the doctor to point out on his face how much area he was talking about. He couldn't really tell from my caring for him, because I spread the cream on surrounding areas too. The doctors used his finger to trace around the areas and Pat was somewhat relieved when he discovered it was a smaller are than he suspected, because of my treatments. Then he asked the doctor how they would fix the damaged skin and how long it would take. The doctor answered him very honestly, gave him the information, and even anticipated future questions and answered them too. I could tell that Pat was absorbing all of this information and that he was playing the process over in his mind, deciding whether he might want to go through what was described in the future. Most of what I was planning to ask had already been asked and answered, so I merely pursued a few details concerning the proposed treatment, like how much recovery time would be needed for Pat after the procedure, possible side-effects, and how soon we had to decide whether or not to do this. Once we had all of our answers, the doctor bandaged Pat once more and we headed home. We were both fairly quiet on the way back, as we were both thinking about the information we had been given and considering the ramifications of following this course of treatment. I know Pat was considering it from the point of view of how he would look and would he still be attractive to the girls, but I was looking at it from the perspective of whether it would improve his quality of life in his future, in both work and social environments, and whether it would change his perception about himself and how he might approach the rest of his life. Before I knew it, we were pulling back into our driveway, having made the trip back home. Once we got inside, I decided that it might be the appropriate time for a discussion about this. "Pat, I know you've been thinking about this. Have you made a decision yet?" "I think I'd like to have it done, Dad, especially if I still have my eyesight. I don't want people looking at me and thinking of me as some kind of freak or monster." "I can understand that, but the doctor says there will still be some scarring." "I know, but as long as we can keep it to as little as possible. I know it's not going to be easy either way, but I think I can handle it better if it's not too bad. I just wonder how the girls will react to me now." "Pat, those who would let something that small effect their judgment of you probably aren't worth the effort anyway. Those who are worth it will be able to look past those small imperfections and see the great guy underneath. I don't think you'll have to worry about that." "Are you sure? I'm almost afraid to go to school, because I don't want them to see me like this." "Well, you won't be going for a while anyway. We'll arrange for tutors to come to the house until you are ready to cope again." "Can you get tutors who I don't know? I don't want anyone who knows me to see me yet." "Well, I think you're being overly sensitive but, yes, I can arrange that, if that's what you truly want." "I do, Dad, and I'll love you even more if you can do that for me." "Oh, a bribe, huh. Well, that isn't necessary, and I'll do that for you anyway. I'll set it up to begin sometime next week, depending on how soon I can find people who are qualified." That afternoon, the other boys wanted to know what Pat found out, so I let him field all the questions. His brothers urged him to have that plastic surgery done, after reassuring him that it wasn't all that bad as it was. We had the appointment with the ophthalmologist tomorrow, so we'd find out more about his eyes then. The boys were all very good telling him about everyone who had asked about him and they had even gone to his classes and got his assignments for him. Completely on their own, the boys had decided to split up the classes to help him with, each taking their best subject, and reading the texts to him and trying to explain the lessons that he missed. The hardest subject to do this with was the math, as it's hard to visualize formulas and problems you can't see. It was after dinner when the doorbell rang and surprised us, as we weren't expecting any visitors. After thinking about it briefly, we assumed that it might be one of Pat's friends, teachers, or someone else from the school. Nick happened to be nearest the door and answered it. I heard him talking to someone, but I couldn't make out whom it was or what the person was saying before Nick invited him in. Nick came walking over towards us, with another young man following close behind. They walked into living room and up to where Pat was seated, and Nick announced the visitor was for him. That's when I learned that our guest was the boy who was responsible for the accident in the chemistry lab. "Man, I'm really sorry for what happened," the boy told Pat. "It was all my fault, cuz I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing. I was in too big a hurry. I'm really sorry man, and I hope you're gonna be all right." "I'm not sure about that yet," Pat told him, "but I know it was an accident and you didn't do it on purpose. I just wish that you had realized before hand that there are just some places you can't rush or let your mind wander." The boy seemed hurt by Pat's comment, but he didn't argue. I think he knew Pat's analysis was correct. Pat must have realized how harsh that sounded too, because he softened his tone a little when he continued. "Of course, maybe I shouldn't have taken my safety glasses off before I put everything else away. If I still had them on, I don't think anything would have happened to me." "Maybe, but I'm really sorry dude. I know it doesn't mean much now, but I am. I've felt simply awful about this since it happened, especially when I found out that it had burned your face and eyes like that." "The doctor said that I will have some scars on my face, even with plastic surgery, but we won't know about my eyes until tomorrow." "I hope you get good news then. I really feel terrible man, and I hope you can forgive me." "I know you didn't mean it and I don't hate you. I guess I can forgive you on one condition and that is like my dad always says, as long as you learned from this mistake." I kind of grinned from the other room, while I heard some sniggering from some of the other boys. I understood that the boy took that comment in stride and shook his head in agreement. "I did dude, cuz I don't want to feel this bad again. Can I do anything to help or to make up for this?" "Well, maybe you can help me with future labs and explain what I can't see." "I will, but I hope you will be able to see again and we can just be lab partners or something. I am really sorry about this." "I know and you don't have to keep saying that. You're forgiven. Who knows, it could have been me who did it to someone else instead of you. I'll be fine, my dad will take care of that." The last comment really hit me hard. I appreciated Pat's confidence in me, but I hoped he realized that there is only so much I can do. I think he'd be better off putting his faith in God, but I'll assist as much as I can. I just pray that I don't disappoint him taking care of the things in my control. The boys were all very good with Pat, especially Dustin, his former rival in love. I think he had some tinges of guilt over that altercation and he tried to make up for it now. He offered to help Pat to his room and told him that he'd assist him during the night too, but Pat said he wasn't ready for two flights of stairs yet. He told Dustin he'd spend another night or two with me, but he thanked Dustin for the offer and told him that he might take him up on it soon. Dustin merely grinned and told him that would be fine, anytime he was ready. It was now Friday, and Pat had his appointment with the eye doctor. We went through a similar waiting period at this office, though I brought some magazines with me, so I could read some articles to Pat and explain what they were about. The time passed better today than at the other office. When the doctor finally took us in and examined Pat, we held our breath while the doctor made his observations, asking Pat questions as he went. We he finished, he asked me if I would join him in the other room. "Dad, please," Pat pleaded, "I want to know what he's going to say. I'll be okay and I can handle it." "Okay, I agree with you. You're old enough and mature enough for this, so that's what we'll do." The doctor looked at me as if I had three heads, shrugged his shoulders, and then stood there. I decide I would have to react first. "Doctor, I've always told my boys that I'll treat them as adults as long as they acted like adults. Pat has and he deserves to be privy to what you're going to tell me." "Hey, if you two agree, who am I to argue. All right, this is what I've discovered. He has received damaged to both corneas, but the damage is much worse to the right eye. I doubt that he'll ever have any vision in that eye again and there is too much damage to do anything for him. The left eye offers some hope. I do believe he'll have limited vision in that eye, being able to see shadows and vague shapes, though he will still be legally blind in that eye too." I saw Pat tense up and I watched as he tried to maintain his composure. "I'm sorry that I don't have better news for you, but there has just been too much damage and I can't give you more hope than that." Now I saw Pat slowly exhale, but only out of necessity, and I could see the disappointment etched on his face. After a couple of minutes, he regained his composure and then tried to find out exactly what he would be facing. He began to question the doctor about his chances with both eyes, examining the details about how much eyesight he might still have in that one eye, and I just sat and listened. Pat was very thorough, even asking the doctor about the smallest detail about his options and just how much he'd be able to see and do, and I saw that the doctor was even quite impressed with how he handled himself. For the most part I let the two of them discuss everything with each other and I just sat back and listened. When Pat had asked all he could think of at that time, he just sat back and seemed to be considering the information he had just received. Just before we left, the doctor spoke to me. "I wasn't sure I agreed with you when you first wanted to include Patrick on this discussion, but I now realize that you do know your son very well. I would never have expected a boy his age to be able to deal with his emotions and the ramifications of what I told him and still be able to think clearly and ask some very pertinent questions. I think you both should be complimented, him for his maturity and you for doing such a fine job raising him." "Thank you, doctor, but I can't take all the credit. Pat has only been with me for a few years and he came to me with a certain amount of maturity. He proved that to me early, dealing with some problems within the family when he first arrived. Besides, I know that he'll recover better being involved and having some control over what is going to happen to him." "Well, regardless of who guided him, he is a remarkable young man and I will do everything within my power to help him adjust. You both take care and I'll see you again in another week. Just have the receptionist set up an appointment for you as you leave." We thanked him, made the appointment, and started home. In the van, Pat didn't speak at first. He just seemed to be mentally reviewing what he had been told. Eventually I spoke to him. "Anything I can help with?" I asked, hoping to get him to open up a little. "Nobody can help me, I know that now. I'm going to be blind and no one can help." He began to cry and I reached over and placed my hand on his leg, trying to comfort him. "Why did this have to happen to me, Dad? I wasn't dong anything wrong and I didn't cause this. Why do I have to be the one who's blind now?" "I don't have an answer for that. It was just an unfortunate accident. It could have happened to anyone." "Then why didn't it? Why did it have to happen to me? Am I a bad person? Is that why this happened to me?" "No, Pat, you're not a bad person. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't know what else I can tell you." "I don't know if I can do this. I guess I never considered how much I relied on my eyes until I didn't have them any more." "It is very easy to take something like that for granted, but you can do fine without them. You've already proved that to an extent, as you've done things for yourself since the accident, without too many problems." "But I didn't know that I was always going to be blind then. Dad, I don't know how do blind people do it and I'm not sure if I can." "Well, I guess it probably is easier for those who have been blind since birth or since a very young age, as they might not be able to fully understand or appreciate what they are missing, but those who lose their eyesight later in life can end up doing just as well. They can still lead productive and fulfilling lives." "I know, but they must be special people. It would take a very strong person to cope with that, or losing their speech, or hearing, or losing a limb, or becoming paralyzed. Having to cope with any of those problems would be hard to adjust to and I'm not sure I can do that. All I can think about now is how most of the things I do now wouldn't be the same if I couldn't see. Either I wouldn't be able to do them or I couldn't do them as I would want to." "I can understand that and I can see how you'd be concerned. Do you remember learning about Helen Keller in school? She was blind AND deaf, but she graduated from college and went on to do great things. You can too, it's just that you have to believe in yourself first. You'll never know what you can accomplish until you try, but I think you're the type of guy who can overcome any obstacle, no matter how great it is." "I'm not sure about that. I don't think I could have done what she did, Dad. I mean, I understand what you're trying to tell me, but I can't imagine being happy without being able to see. I wouldn't be able to watch television or go to the movies. I wouldn't be able to play sports or to see what my girlfriend looks like. And what kind of girl would want to go out with a blind guy anyway?" "Ones that aren't overly concerned with appearance or what others think." "Yeah, the ugly ones, fat ones, and those who don't want to make themselves look nice." "And you wouldn't be interested in them?" I interrupted, knowing where he was going with this. "You'd let that bother you, even if they were willing to overlook your scars and being blind?" "I don't want someone who doesn't look good." "What difference would that make, if you couldn't see them?" "Well, other people would still be able to see them." "And it wouldn't make a difference if they were nice, kind, considerate, friendly, or if they liked or loved you?" "Dad, I think I know what you're getting at, but I wouldn't want my friends or brothers making fun of me because of what she looked like or whatever." "Would these people make fun of you because you're blind?" "That's a dumb question. You know they wouldn't." "Then why would they make fun of whatever girl you would want to be with?" "It's not the same thing, Dad." "Yes, it is, Pat. They wouldn't make fun or you and they wouldn't make fun of anyone you loved or chose to be with. If they did, then they are the ones not worth worrying about." Pat started to open his mouth, but he didn't say anything. He closed his mouth again and then sat there for a minute or so, thinking about something. We he finally spoke, it was in a very soft voice. "Okay, maybe you're right about that, but I always saw myself having a cute wife and cute kids. How's that going to happen now?" "It may or it may not, but I don't think it will hinge totally on whether or not you are blind. I do think you may have to reconsider or modify some of your goals, but I don't think you'll have to make any drastic changes to your life. With the advances that are being made in technology every year, someone could come up with a cure for your situation or come up with a technology to help you become more productive. It is even easier now than when Helen Keller did it. Look at what Stephen Hawkings has done, even with his handicap. He has come up with theories to challenge even the most intelligent of people." "Is he that scientist in the wheelchair?" "Yes, the British physicist who has come up with possibilities about how the universe expands, theories about black holes, and he even wrote a book, 'A Brief History of Time'. He suffers from ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis), Lou Gehrig's Disease, but he didn't stop trying and coming up with amazing discoveries. He's in a wheelchair and can hardly do anything for himself, without help or the aid of technology, but he never gave up hope or stopped trying to do what he was capable of doing. Without his efforts, it may have been decades before we could have come up with the theories or explanations he has set forth and advances in his field of science would have been drastically slowed." "Okay, I see your point, but why did this have to happen to me? I'm not a great thinker like he is and I'm only average in school." "Look, Pat, I'm not sure if I can explain why bad things happen to good people, but they do. I've always heard that the Lord moves and operates in mysterious ways, but there must be some reason why you were chosen in this case. Maybe you are the only one who could do something that needs to be done, but only if you were like this. I don't know." "Like what? What can I do?" "I don't have the answer for that, but there must be something. Some day we might be able to look back and decide what that was but, for now, you'll just have to try to do whatever you can to not let this effect you negatively." "I'll try, but it will be hard." "I'm sure it will be, but I also know you can do it if anyone can." "You really think so?" "I have all the confidence in the world in you. You're not going to let this ruin your life. It may change it, but you won't let it ruin it for you." "I hope you're right, and I'll do my best." "That's all any of us could ask." Pat went deep into thought after that, and I was dying to know what he was thinking about. As hard as it was, I didn't bother him and left him to his thoughts until he decided to share them with me. A short time later he spoke again. Dad, I think I have an idea. Maybe we can help some handicapped kids with the charity. Maybe we could help them get the things they need to adjust to their handicap or make it easier for their families to deal with them. And if they don't have families, maybe we could help them get adopted. What do you think about that, Dad?" "I think that's a wonderful suggestion and I'll mention that to Sally next time we speak. We'd been considering hard to place children, but I think that helping handicapped children is a stroke of pure genius. See, already you're proving how valuable you can still be." Pat merely blushed and didn't respond, but I knew he had taken our conversation seriously. Even though he had been tempted to wallow in self-pity, he had taken my advice to heart and already tried to act on it. It was then that I knew he would do just fine. That night Pat shared his idea with his brothers and they all thought it was great. Now the boys decided that they wanted to try to see what it was like being blind as well. They agreed to help each other try it, splitting into pairs, with one taking a towel and covering their eyes for the rest of the day and go until late afternoon the next day, and then they'd switch places. The other person was to make sure the 'blind' boy didn't get hurt in the process and help them with whatever they would need along the way. I was glad to see that they were willing to experience the hardships of what it would be like to be blind and that they wanted to try to learn what others have to go through and put up with when they are blind. Although it was a limited experience and would only give them a taste of what it was really like, it would still let them appreciate it better than they could without experiencing this for themselves. I must admit that it was a rather interesting day, as the boys tried to do for their partners what we had all done for Pat. They helped them play games, read stories, magazine articles, and the comics to them, but they boys thought that most of those activities lacked the same attraction and enjoyment they did when they could also see what was going on. Then came the meals. Lunch and dinner were new lessons in patience and adjustment, and there were more than a few accidents along the way. Pat felt honored that his brothers were doing all of this just to see what he was going through, so they could understand it better and help him through it. He was right. I was pretty impressed by that too. By Saturday afternoon the 'blind' boys were more than ready to regain their sight and switch roles. That did not happen before they discussed what it was like not being able to see, and they shared their thoughts and feelings with the others who had gone through it at the same time. One particular disturbing time for them was when they awakened during the night or in the early morning, forgetting about their temporary condition. Some went through more than a little distress during those times, believing something was really wrong before they remembered their experiment. The next group took their turn at being 'blind' and I was pleased to see that those who had already gone through this weren't taking the lightly and were trying to give their partners the benefit of what they had learned. They would let them grope with something for a while before they'd give them some advice, not wishing to interfere with their chance to learn from this. They would let the 'blind' partner almost become frustrated over their inability to do something, before they'd actually give them help, and then only enough to keep them from giving up. They certainly didn't want to make this easy for them or let them off without a true appreciation for what it was like. At meals we had a few more accidents, tipping, dropping, and spilling things, but nothing too serious. As the evening rolled around, the boys led their partners to clean up, but they would not do it for them, making them do everything for themselves. Even the limited sexual encounters were strictly a hands-on experience this time around. Sunday morning things seemed to be fairly normal, though the boys decided to end their experiment before we went to church. They didn't think they wanted to draw any more attention to Pat than would already be the case. They continued their research throughout breakfast and while getting ready for church, but they uncovered their eyes once we were in the suburban. I think everyone now had a better appreciation for what Pat was going through and could better understand his fears and apprehensions. Pat did take a second to thank them all for going to all that trouble to understand what was happening to him, as he felt good that they were willing to do that - mainly for him. They told Pat that this would help them to decide on how they could best help him, yet try to keep him as independent as possible. It was a very proud time for me, watching my boys learn lesson in humility, empathy, and cooperation. We arrived at the church, attending as usual, even though this time was slightly different. Pat stayed close to me, seeing this was one of his rare appearances in public since the accident and he was afraid of the reaction he would get from others. Although he couldn't see them, there were some stares, but most was just normal curiosity about his condition. Many people came over to him and told him how sorry they were to hear about his accident and that they were praying that things would work out for him. Pat thanked them, realizing they were sincere in their comments, and we went in and sat down for the service. After the usual hymns to begin the service, some announcements were made and then the sermon began. "Today's sermon will be based on a inspirational piece written by Mary Stevenson in 1936" the pastor began. "I have chosen to use this as the starting point today for many reasons, most of which revolve around people blaming God for all the ills of the world, especially tragedy and illness, and for thinking that God is just a figment of man's imagination, a way to explain unexplainable events. Well, I'm here to tell you that Jesus is our rock and our foundation. He is there for us when we need him most, and, even though we don't understand why things have happened, he does have a plan for us. I am often comforted by the thought once told to me by my mother, 'that when God closes a door, he usually opens a window'. This has always reassured me and helped me to realize that no matter what happens or how bad it seems at the time, God often provides us with another path, often equally as good as the one we were on. I hope this also proves comforting to you and that you will listen carefully to the words that I am about to read to you. This is simple piece is entitled, 'Footprints in the Sand'. "One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he notice two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it: 'Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all they way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed you most, you would leave me.' The Lord replied: 'My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you." The pastor paused here, letting the congregation absorb the meaning of those words. After the appropriate amount of time had passed, he began again. "If you will trust in him and lean on him in your times of need, he will support you and even carry you when you are too weak to go on. When a door has been shut in your life, he will help you open a window and give you other options. If you are willing to look for those possibilities, you will find the he will be there for you each and every time you need him and he will always be there to help you go on." After a few more hymns and some closing comments, the service was over and we began to leave. On the way out we said our good-byes and complimented the minister on his sermon. Before we left, he stopped to talk to Pat, telling him that he hoped that he too found the strength to deal with his problems and to call on the Lord for guidance during this difficult time. "Do you really think he'll open a window for me?" Pat asked him. "Yes, my son, I do. You'll just have to be observant, so you will notice it when it does open." We thanked him again and began to head for the Suburban when Sally found us. She talked to all of us, told Pat she was sorry to hear about his accident, and then we told her about Pat's suggestion that we help physically handicapped children. We gave her a quick rundown of what Pat's intended and Sally thought that was a wonderful idea. She said she would explore it further, looking into institutions that dealt with such children on a larger scale. We both thanked her and then we headed home. Some of the boys and I began to start our Sunday dinner when Pat asked to speak to me. I agreed and he asked to go into my room, so we could talk in private. We went in, sat on the bed, and Pat began to ask his questions. "Do you think the minister was right when he said that God opens a window when he closes a door?" "Yes, I do, Pat. When he closed a door to me after my wife died, I often wondered if I'd ever feel needed or find happiness again. That's when he opened the window, making it possible for me to become a foster parent, thus bringing all you boys into my life. I believe he did a similar thing later, when our family continued to grow and this began to put a strain on our finances. It was then that he guided Mr. Goldman into including us in his will and leaving his life's savings to us. Yes, Pat, God does open windows when it seems he has shut a door." "What do you think that will mean for me? What kind of window do you think he'll open for me?" "I have no way of knowing that, but I'm sure something will come up. It may just be a way to cope with your condition, new options to choose from, maybe a new insight into your life, or maybe a way to help others in similar conditions. Maybe that's why you came up with the idea of having the charity help physically handicapped children cope with their condition or find new homes. I doubt that would have come to you without this having happened to you, so maybe that was one of the windows that opened. There may be other things too, but only time will tell and I'll pray that he makes the signs obvious enough that you don't miss them." "Thanks, Dad, and I hope both you and the minister are right then." As I got up to leave, Pat asked to stay there and think for a while longer, so I let him lie on the bed while I went to fix the meal. I knew he would have to solve many of these things for himself, and I could only guide him when he wished me to, but his greatest struggles would still lie ahead. * * * * * * * *