Date: Mon, 2 May 2022 10:33:00 +0100 From: Andrew Passey Subject: Coming Out Part Five (Young Friends) That brotherly handjob had certainly helped. Even if the rest of my life felt like it was spiraling out of control it was great for me and my right hand to get reacquainted. School was still tough on Monday though. There were more comments and a few boys pushed me in the corridor when they walked past. I heard people shouting out homophboic insults out at me. It was fine if my friends were there but they weren't always. I couldn't expect them to come to the toilet with me when I needed a piss. So when I was unprotected things could go very wrong. Wednesday lunchtime I was having a piss in a deserted bathroom when an older boy came in. He stood at the urinal next to me which everyone knows is a no no then flopped his dick out and pissed. I finished and was zipping up and about to leave when he reached out and held my arm. "You're the cocksucker aren't you? Fancy getting your lips around this?" He turned to show me his big dick that was still dripping piss. "Fuck off!" i said struggling to break his grasp "I could force you, no one needs to know. You're a filthy weirdo who just wants to suck cock!" At that moment more boys came in and he let go of me and I hurried out of the bathroom. My heart was racing a million miles an hour and I was shaking as I sat down next to Jorge in our next class. "What's going on?!" He asked and I told him. "Fuck! I should have gone with you!" "You can't help me every time I need a piss, I guess I hope it was just a one off." "Next time anyone tries anything like that scream the fucking place down and someone will come running!" Jorge was probably right but I didn't know if I could do that. I don't think it helped that I was a fairly introverted and I guess sensitive boy. I didn't feel I could confront someone really even though I'd taken Richard on. That was a one off and when more incidents happened in the coming days I just let the insults hit me. I wallowed in self pity and the misery of my life. My friends supported me although I did lose a couple of boys who I counted as friends. I guess they were worried about guilt by association. The crazy thing was that there were probably 1000 people at my school. Maybe 800 of which were all boys in years 7 to 12. We had a mixed sixth form but that was in a separate building. Anyway I digress, so out of all those boys, whether it was 600, 700 or 800, you can't tell me that none of them were gay or bi. Statistically there must have been quite a few of them in the closet. Things took a turn for the worse after school one Wednesday a couple of weeks after the incident in the toilet. Jorge was at a Year 9 football match as was Olly. I used to be in the team in Year 7 and was probably one of our better players but I'd dropped out. I was basically worried that being around scantily clad boys in football changing rooms would expose my secret. I know it was silly but now it was much too late to rejoin. Richard was the team captain for some stupid reason and there were other boys in the team who had made their dislike of me obvious. In any case it meant that Jorge or Olly wasn't there with me when I was walking on my own through an alleyway near school. Something I'd done many times but this time I heard someone running up behind me. I turned just in time to see Henry throwing a punch at me hitting me right in the face by my eye socket. "Take that you fucking gay cunt!" he said as I crumpled against the wall. "I've been in fucking intervention for weeks because of you! Luckily it's cancelled today so I can kick the shit out of you." I wanted to get out of there but then Henry kicked me in the balls and I doubled over in pain. "Get the fuck off him!" I looked up to see Dan, Tom's friend holding Henry up against the wall. Dan was well built and strong and there was no way Henry was escaping. Dan used his phone with his spare hand to call for help, "Tom, Sam needs help, we're in the alleyway off Gregson Road." A couple of minutes later Tom turned up running fast and quickly assessed the situation. "Fucking hell, did he do that to you!" He said pointing at my face which I could feel was starting to swell. "Yeah." "Don't worry Tom, this little shit is fucked, I'm going to drag him back to school and see what they think of assaulting one of their pupils. Get Sam home," Dan said and started to drag Henry back in the direction of school. "Why the fuck are you walking home alone?" Tom asked me as he put his arm around me to steady me. "Jorge is at football and so is Olly," I replied with a shrug as my legs almost gave way. I realised I was shaking with the shock of it all. "Well you should have waited for me! It's not safe on your own!" "Why not? It should be! Henry is the only one who has attacked me." "Hmm well I'd feel more comfortable if you had company but I guess you are right. This stops now though, I need to talk to the school and get them to sort this out. Bullying is supposed to be heavily punished and nothing has been done. Although I suspect Henry will be read the riot act." We started to walk home and he sighed, "Mum is going to go fucking mental when she sees your face. I think it's time to tell her everything. Otherwise she'll think you're getting into fights." I knew he was right, I guess it was time to be open and honest with Mum. She was pretty cool about stuff generally although I knew she still thought of me as her little baby boy. I was a bit worried she wouldn't really believe me. That she'd just think I was too young to know. However, coming out to Mum was something I wanted to do so I guess there was no time like the present.. "What happened to your face?! You've got a black eye! Have you been fighting!" This was the first thing Mum said when she came into the lounge after she got back from work. Tom and I were playing on the PS4 and he wanted to be there to support me when I told her everything. "He's not been fighting Mum! Someone punched him!" Tom interjected before I knew it was time to tell all. "I need to tell you something important Mum," I said. "Yes you do, starting on why someone would punch you. Let me get my shoes off and out of my work clothes first." I nervously waited for Mum to be ready, she came back in five minutes later with a glass of red wine. "I thought I might need this if it's important!" She said. She did drink a fair bit of wine but then again we all deal with stress our own way I guess. "So why did a boy punch you?" "It's er....complicated. He punched me because he got into trouble for calling me something at school in front of a teacher because somebody spread around the school something about me that they'd overheard me telling someone in private." "Right," Mum said. "So Sam, in plain English tell me what is going on because I'll be honest I didn't understand a word of that." I wanted to but for some reason I couldn't think of the words, I caught Tom's eye and nodded. "Mum, Sam is gay. Oscar Fellows heard him telling the twins and spread vile lies about him around the school. Henry Patterson used homophobic slurs in front of a teacher so is in intervention. He blames Sam for that and punched him after school today." Mum looked shocked and took a big gulp of her wine, "I really do need this. So let's rewind and unpick this. Henry Patterson punched you, outside or inside school?" I explained what happened and that Dan was taking him back to school to tell the teachers. "Good but I'll email your head of year to complain as well. So Oscar is the cause of all this? I shall be talking to his parents later! Now I need a top up!" As she said that she stood up and went into the kitchen, she hadn't acknowledged the bit about me being gay. I looked at Tom nervously who smiled and whispered, "It'll be okay." Mum came back in with a topped up glass of wine, "Thanks for your help Tom but I'd like to speak to Sam alone." He shrugged and left the room leaving me feeling even more nervous. "So, how long has this been going on? That you've been feeling that you might be gay?" "Um...forever Mum. Like years and years, I've always known I'm different. Once I started secondary school I knew for sure. I'm sorry that I'm gay, I know it isn't what you'd want for me." Mum stood up and came and put her arm around me, "Oh darling, I just want you to be happy. If you're sure you're gay then that's fine. You were born that way. I guess I never gave it a second thought, it's hard to think of my little boy being...sexual I guess." "Mum, I'm thirteen! I'm not doing anything sexual!" "Well I know you are doing some things as I wash your sheets! I wish you'd use more tissues!" Mum said which caused me to blush bright red and want the world to swallow me up. "Not THAT! I mean anything with anybody else. Anyway I only told Jorge and Olly and Bella. I was going to tell you and Tom but no one else. But now everybody knows! My life is ruined!" I started to cry as I felt so overwhelmed by things. Mum held me close as I sobbed gently into her shoulder. She let me cry before she kissed my cheek, "Everything feels like the end of the world when you're a teenager. It's going to be tough for you as being different to the majority always is but it doesn't mean I, or Tom or your friends don't love you as much as we did. You're still the same sweet sensitive gentle boy you always have been and don't ever let anyone tell you different. You're amazing and don't forget that. Any boy who you fall in love with would be lucky to have you!" "Thanks Mum, although you are my Mum so you sort of have to say that!" I said, smiling through my tears at her. "It'll be fine Sam. Life is all twists and turns and ups and downs. You've got us to support you. Whatever comes next we'll deal with it as a family. Now dry those eyes and come and help me make dinner." I stood up and walked with her into the kitchen. I guess I felt like a bit of a weight had been lifted off my shoulders but I think it would have felt like a bigger one if I didn't have all the dread of everyone at school knowing. Sam, the boy in Year 9 who everyone knew was gay. Shit, what a fucked up mess I'd ended up in.