Date: Sun, 20 Oct 2019 10:46:40 -0400 (EDT) From: Five Hole Punch Subject: Confessions of Martin Here is a long memory. FHP "Confessions of Martin " "I can remember playing with my penis waiting for the school bus in the morning. I would shove my hand down in my pants pocket and diddle away, the distinct feel of each of the pant 's fabric; denim, linen, corduroy, with each passing season. I distinctly remember crossing one leg in front the other to create a pocket with my immature sex organs pushed to the fore. I could be erect, but mostly not, I just played with it for fun and to kill the time waiting. It may seem strange, but other boys did it, too, quite openly amongst us, but not in front of girls, usually. Three or four of us could be doing it at a time. We 'd stick out our tongues and smile, so it was no secret; showing an erection in our pants was fun and not shameful. We were eight or nine years old. Most of us could get a childish orgasm at that age, but I don 't think we tried to get one waiting for the bus, I know I didn 't. On the few occasions where there was a longer field trip on the bus we might spend enough time to get a small orgasm. We saved the bigger efforts for the time we spent in the woods, or basements, or someone 's house (when we boys could be alone, in a "wolf pack "). In the woods, we would circle and jerk together, spontaneously, randomly, during other play. The woods were fairly dense with trees and a meandering stream, but it wasn 't too far from the houses. I still remember in the winter, when there were no leaves on the trees, doing sex actions quite openly, without concern. Even in the cold, we would get on all fours, pull down our pants just enough, and hump each other like a dog would do. We could 've been seen but we didn 't care and no one ever said anything about our activities. Dirty bottoms were not uncommon; most all of us had stains of some sort at that age. The sight and smell of some brown did not bother me then. When we got older we were more hygienic, but there was a transition period to older boy games when I remember sucking penises with a taste and odor of dried piss. I should mention that sometimes girls were involved in sex games, but not that often compared to the natural occurrence between boys. I saw girls naked from when I was little and took a bath with my younger sister. There were some girls who acted very boy-like and we showed ourselves and touched each other 's genitals in the corners of back lots. There was one time in summer when I was eight and we were running around barefoot in just shorts, bathing suits and the like, that I went with a friend of my sister, alone, and we took turns examining each other lying down in the woods. I pulled her cotton one-piece aside to see her bare cunt and then got her to take down her whole suit. I was excited to play with her in this way. My exclusively homosexual tendencies began years later. Suzie had short dark hair and her body was not curved, she looked like a boy, so maybe that 's why I found it exciting. At around nine, ten, and eleven years old we sucked each other as much as jacked off. We did a funny thing in the summer – we would do Popsicle sucking like we were sucking a penis. Not all the time, but we would show how we would suck the other boy or boys by demonstrating this on a Popsicle. We didn 't have to say anything, we knew what it meant; we did this while careful not to be observed by adults, we were more aware of the taboo nature of sex, or by older teenage boys, who might have used their superior status to force us to do their bidding. It was sort of an invitation if you gave the other boy a look while doing the Popsicle suck. I remember sandals and shorts in the heat and cocksucking older pals of ten and eleven when I was ten. I would sometimes touch my erect self outside of my shorts while sucking other boys. As the junior member of the group I did more sucking than being sucked, but I had my turns. One technique that drove me up the wall was when the guy sucking me, usually Ralf, but sometimes Harald, would use the tip of his tongue on my naked peehole. This happened by accident the first time. My foreskin was back and Ralf gave me a set of very strong licks and, when he hit my peehole, I just about jumped out of my skin. I was panting and cursing, so Ralf did it to me again. He told me to do it to him and he felt the same zap up his penis. I would do this when sucking another guy to get him ready to shoot fast. This led to a habit I had for a time when masturbating, I would finger my peehole, sometimes forcefully. This hurt and the pain excited me, but I couldn 't take too much of this abuse without having a sore penis later. I was nine and hung out with three other boys that summer. Harald was eleven, very tall, blond, and wore glasses. He had a maturing penis that was long. Ralf was ten and blond. He had a boy 's penis like mine. Heinz was eleven and dark haired. He was the alpha male of our group, the best athlete, but Harald was better at football. None of us had hair or had any emission of seminal fluid this summer. I would suck them all and enjoyed it, but when we "paired up, " Harald, though the oldest would suck with me. Harald would end up gay like me, so maybe it was a subconscious awareness between us. Both Ralf and Heinz were very aggressive when sucked, pumping vigorously near their climax. They would suck us, too, but not nearly as often. I would get Ralf in those circumstances and, because Harald and Heinz played football together they would be partners. When we began actual anal sex (within a year) it was almost always this pairing of me with Ralf. Harald was very taken away by passion when he was being fucked and Heinz would be very dominant. Their activities continued in private for some time I found out later. Most of our anal activity was like dogs fucking, one of us on our knees and the other from behind. We could do this in the woods quite easily without doing more than dropping our pants just enough to expose our asses. The only face to face sex was when we were naked in someone 's bedroom and that would be rubbing cock to cock with almost no close physical contact. My real initiation to true gay sex came for me at age eleven when I had a couple of encounters when visiting the family of my sixteen year old cousin Gerhard. I was left alone with him while our parents went out to dinner. He asked me about sex and what I knew and found out what my experience was. At that point, he just asked if I wanted to go to his bedroom and I said yes. We stripped down to our underwear, plain white cotton was all that we had then, and I took mine off first. I was still hairless and had a boy 's penis. Gerhard stripped his underwear off. He had a man 's penis. Gerhard looked like an older boy, only a little dark moustache, but his penis and scrotum were fully developed. Gerhard 's penis hung down 10cm and it was 17cm or more erect. He had full dark pubic hair but not much under his arms. He had me get on my knees and suck him while he stood next to his bed. I was in awe of his penis and admired it with some apprehension – could I suck such a big one? Gerhard gave encouragement and I held it and drew the skin back, Gerhard was clean but had a mature scent and taste, much different from my friends. I sucked him and he went half hard and it was a mouthful. When he got harder, I had to limit how far I went down or I would gag. I was erect by instinct. Gerhard had me stop and told me to get up. He threw a blanket over the back of a dressing chair and he had me lie over the blanket. I didn 't think he could get his penis into me. Gerhard put a cream on my anus and on his penis. He was half hard and he was able to slide his head in as it was soft. It went in easier than I thought. My cousin began to push his penis, which was harder now, a few centimeters in and out. I felt filled up, but he didn 't push himself all the way in. Gerhard went at a steady pace for a minute or two. Soon, he gave a few, strong restrained thrusts and came in my rectum. I had lost my erection, but when Gerhard went to clean his penis, I got on his bed and masturbated to a quick orgasm, still dry at this point. One day later, we repeated the first part, but my cousin put me face down on his bed with the blanket under my hips to fuck me. He went in half soft, but got harder and deeper which hurt and I lost my erection. At this point he withdrew and had me turn face up with my head on his pillows. Gerhard had me masturbate myself hard again. He pushed my thighs up and he went in from the side and with that angle it was very painful and I immediately lost my erection. It was all I could do to hold on to my thighs. I was trying not to moan, but the pain made it impossible. I curled my toes and tried to move my hips to ease the entry of Gerhard 's ramrod. My struggles and moans drove my cousin to lust and he held my thighs and vigorously thrust into my bottom. I cried out and writhed. Gerhard told me to calm myself and that he had to finish. His penis went back in and the pain returned. I bit my lip and held on until he came in my rectum. I was so sore that I could hardly walk to the bathroom. I used cold water on my opening and it stung fiercely. I was sore for three days and my bowel movements were painful. When I masturbated, I felt the pain of my anus, which I liked and masturbated again. This is when I found out that your anus contracts when you come. Sucking a big penis, and being fucked, became the defining moment of my sexual life. I masturbated time and again to my memories of my cousin 's penis and his sexual violation of my person. The overwhelming pain and being helpless were a big turn on for me. I began to fantasize about leather-clad bikers, kneeling and sucking their cocks, being taken on a pool table in one of their clubhouses. My activities with my friends decreased over the next year or so. I continued to masturbate with other boys in the woods or elsewhere until I was fourteen, but I didn 't do much else as my friends didn 't match my fantasies. We all enjoyed seeing if we could get semen to ejaculate and how much, who was getting more, et cetera. I liked seeing cock and hair growing, but my fantasies were of men 's cocks. I looked at pornography for muscular twenty year old guys. " Copyright 2019. All Rights Reserved.