The following contains scenes of sexual
activity between males. If it is illegal for you to read this in your
jurisdiction or if you feel you may be offended by doing so, please
read no further. The characters portrayed in this story may engage in
behaviors that would today be considered unwise and unsafe. The author
does not encourage such behavior: nor does he condone the violation of
any laws. Please respect yourself and your partners. Please do not copy
or distribute this story without the knowledge or permission of the
This story contains some elements of a previous
story of mine, The Secrets of Waldo.
If you would like to read other works by me, go to the Nifty Home Page
and click on the FreeThinker link under Prolific Authors.
All characters in the story
are fictional and any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is
purely coincidental. This is fiction and a fantasy. It did not happen.
Any use of racial epithets is not intended to be
offensive in any way, but is used to show the state of mind of the
character using them. The author rejects all forms of bigotry and
racism, as the story will show.
I would like to know what you think. If you
comments or suggestions, please email them to my address: chriswriter@ operamail.com,
(this is not a hyperlink). Thank you so much for reading my story and
for the wonderful support you have given me over the last three years.
I also wish to thank Bill L. for his invaluable advice and assistance
and Terry V., Terry F., Dennis, Frank, Gulfman, Freedom, James,
Douglas, Gerald, EleCivil, and Jeremy for your support and
encouragement. You have kept me writing! Thanks!
Courage and Passion
school-boy, above all others, is not the simple being the world
imagines. In that young bosom, are often stirring passions as strong as
our own, desires not less violent, a volition not less supreme. In that
young bosom, what burning love, what intense ambition, what avarice,
what lust of power, envy that fiends might emulate, hate that men might
Benjamin Disraeli, British Prime
Minister and novelist, Coningsby,
In Which Love is Found and a Bond Forged
"What's the suitcase for?"
"It's not a suitcase. It's an overnight bag."
Ethan was leaning against the edge of Robby's desk
watching as his friend closed the door of his closet and set the small
black bag on his bed.
"Well, same thing. What's it for?"
"Well, I'm spending the night at your place, aren't
"Well, yeah. But, what do you need an overnight bag
Robby looked at Ethan as if he were dense.
"Well, for my pajamas and stuff."
"Pajamas? What do you need them for?"
"Well, to sleep in. Are you on drugs?"
Ethan raised an eyebrow and shook his head as Robby
opened his dresser and withdrew a pair of blue pajamas. He then went
back to the closet, pulled a navy robe off a hanger and picked up some
slippers from the floor. Ethan watched with amusement as he placed the
night clothes in the bag.
"I gotta go get my toothbrush and toothpaste," Robby
declared as he hurried from the room. When he returned, Ethan had
crossed his arms and was grinning.
"What?" Robby asked uncertainly.
Ethan smiled and shook his head.
"It's going to be fun working on you."
"What do you mean, 'work on me?'" Robby asked as he
closed the bag.
"You're my new project."
Robby raised a suspicious eyebrow, but picked up his
bag and headed for the door. Ethan followed with his violin,
backpack, and grin.
As they were descending the stairs, the irritable
barking of his mother became audible as she gave orders to his siblings
and the babysitter prior to her leaving for her night out.
"Now, if you give Mrs. Pinkston any trouble, I’ll
whip your asses when I get home! You understand?"
Robby wanted to die with embarrassment. That Ethan,
his new friend, should hear his mother speaking in such a way, that
Mrs. Pinkston, a sweet elderly lady, should hear it, was almost more
than he could take. However, it was nothing compared to the
mortification he felt when he reached the foyer and saw her standing in
the living room.
She was dressed like a go-go girl in a sky blue
miniskirt with tan knee-high boots. Mrs. Pinkston was seated primly in
a chair, obviously biting her tongue while Brian and Megan lay on the
floor before the television as the Huntley-Brinkley Report came on.
"I don't wanna watch the news!" Brian wailed.
"There's nothing else on right now," his mother
spat, "so go to your room and don't cause any trouble."
She turned and saw Robby's horrified face.
"What's the matter with you?"
Robby couldn't speak.
"Look," she said softly but angrily, "I told you not
to judge me. This is my life. I deserve to get out and have a break
from all this."
She waived her arm dismissively as she said, "this."
Robby simply swallowed and remained quiet. His
mother looked suspiciously at Ethan again and said to her son, "Don't
do drugs or I'll slap you into tomorrow!"
With that, she grabbed her bag and marched out the
front door as Robby silently prayed that none of the neighbors were
outside. He looked up at Mrs. Pinkston, who smiled sadly at him. He
walked forward and pulled a small piece of paper from his shirt pocket.
"Hi, Mrs. Pinkston," he said, barely able to speak.
"Here's the number at Ethan's."
"Thank you, Robby," she said as she took the paper
and squeezed his arm. "You have a nice time at your friend's house
tonight. You're a good boy."
He turned and walked to the foyer where Ethan was
"Is she gone?" he asked.
"I think I just heard the car pull out of the
driveway," Ethan replied.
Robby looked down at the floor in shame and said,
"OK. Let's go."
Ethan put a hand on his shoulder as they walked to
"Hey, man. Don't let it get you down. Man, you
should see some of the stuff I saw when we lived with Dad. Your Mom was
nothing compared to some of the people in The Village."
"Yeah, well, she's my Mom. She's not supposed to do
that. She's not supposed to dress like that and go out and get drunk
and meet men. She's supposed to stay home and do what she did when Dad
They were walking across the grass to the sidewalk
and toward the school.
"Well, you know," said Ethan, "women don't really
have to stay home. I mean, they have lives like everyone else."
"Well, yeah, I know all about Women's Lib and all
that and if Mom wants a job, that's cool. I wish she would get a job.
But, I mean, dressing like she does and carrying on like she does. It's
just not right. It's just not right."
His voice faded as he said the last words and he
fought to keep the tears from his eyes and his voice.
Ethan remained silent as they walked, carefully
stepping over the raised crack in the sidewalk that always seemed to
jump up at Robby.
"I just want everything to go back to the way it
They came to the corner in front of the school.
Taking a deep breath and forcing a smile on his face, Robby pointed to
the quaint brick house across Sycamore and said, "Sean lives there."
"Really?" Ethan replied as they turned to the west
and began walking up 18th St. "It looks like the kind of place Sean
would live in."
"You know, he's really OK. He's really quiet and shy
and kind of wimpy, but, he's really a nice guy."
"I know. I think we need to really try to be his
friend. I don't think he's ever had a friend. Maybe if we become his
friends then he won't be shy and everything and people won't tease him
"Well, it would help if he didn't pop a boner in the
shower everyday, too," said Robby with a grin and a thrill at saying
something nasty and, he felt, grown up. Ethan grinned.
"Yeah, you're probably right. But, he can't help it.
It's just something that happens to guys when we're going through
They were approaching Zhenya's house and, as Ethan
was about to reply, they saw a red Volkswagen, shiny and new, pulling
out of the driveway, with Zhenya in the passenger's seat, Ian in the
back, and Dr. Koronov behind the wheel. Zhenya grinned and waived as
the Beetle pulled into the street. The boys waived back, but Robby
noticed a look of longing on Zhenya's face as the car speed away to the
"I think Zhenya wanted to come over tonight and
spend the night, too," Robby commented.
"That would be cool," Ethan said. "Maybe I should
invite him some time."
They came to the stop sign on the corner and crossed
"Say, you know a lot about stuff, I guess," said
Robby. "Can I ask you a weird question?"
"Sure," Ethan said grinning. "The weirder the
Robby giggled and then, blushing, asked, "I, um,
accidentally saw Zhenya's dick in the shower, today and.... well, it
Ethan started chuckling. Robby suddenly felt
"Hey! You said I could ask a weird question."
"It's OK," said Ethan. "It's sort of like that
question Zhenya asked you yesterday about if everyone in America was
Robby looked at Ethan as if he had taken leave of
Ethan grinned again.
"Son, I think it's time you and I had a little talk."
"Uh, oh," said Robby. "It's one of those things."
"You and I are circumcised. They cut off the
foreskin over the heads of our dicks when we were babies.
Americans do that a lot. Man, my Dad was really torqued when they
did that to me. Jewish people do that, too. It's part of their
religion. But, people outside the United States usually don't do that.
That's why Zhenya's dick looked so funny. Was the foreskin hanging down
over the head or just covering it?"
Robby was conflicted. He felt guilty talking about
such things with Ethan. Yet, there was an illicit thrill in doing so.
"Well, there was this long tube at the end."
Ethan nodded, as if this confirmed something he was
"Zhenya probably doesn't get boners as much as we
do," he said. Robby looked at Ethan in surprise, but before he could
say anything, Ethan added, "He probably doesn't beat-off as much as we
"Beat-off. You know."
Ethan demonstrated forming a tube with his right
hand and pumping in the air. Robby's eyes grew wide. Ethan looked at
his friend in surprise.
"Don't you beat-off? You get boners enough."
"How do you know how many boners I get?" he demanded
as they came to Providence Avenue.
"It's rush hour," said Ethan watching the heavy
traffic in both directions. "We might have to go up to 15th and cross
with the light."
"Naw, we can cross in a minute when the light
changes up there. Now answer the question. How come you know how much I
get a boner?"
"Man, you get 'em all the time. I can tell."
"What are you doing looking at my pants?" Robby
demanded. He was both angry and embarrassed now and not at all certain
he wanted to spend the night, and even more convinced that he did.
"Hey, don't get all torqued and stuff. I mean,
everybody pops a bone once in awhile. I mean, it's natural. It just
happens. I just notice when people do. It's not like everyone knows
when you do 'cause you do a good job of hiding it when you do. But, I
"Go!" Robby yelled suddenly and the two boys
sprinted quickly across the street, causing a car to hit its brakes and
honk angrily as they reached the other side. Ethan grinned and waived
at the cursing driver. They proceeded along the walkway lining the
chain-link fence around Lake Windermere, the evening sun descending
behind the trees to the west.
"In fact," said Ethan with a grin, as Robby cringed,
knowing what was coming, "you have one now."
Automatically, Robby moved his overnight bag to the
front to cover his crotch. Ethan chuckled as he blushed.
"Don't worry. There's nothing to be embarrassed
about. I get them all the time, too. In fact, I've got one now, too."
Without thinking, Robby looked and, sure enough,
there was a very noticeable inflation in Ethan's crotch, fat and
pointing to the left. Ethan chuckled.
"Sean gets them a lot, too," Ethan added.
"Yeah, I know," said Robby. "He got another one in
the shower today."
Ethan frowned, knowing what must have happened.
"How come everyone laughs when Zac pops a boner, but
when Sean does, they all jump all over him and make him feel like a
"Because Zac is cool and Sean isn't. They all look
at Zac as a clown. Besides, it's the way Zac acts. He doesn't care.
He's just Zac. In fact, 'cause he likes to show it off, that takes
away... well, the fagginess of getting hard in the shower."
"Yeah. People think that if you pop in the shower,
you're queer or something."
"So 'fag' is another word for 'queer.'"
"It's like 'nigger' or 'gook.' It's really
insulting. I hate the word."
They were rounding a curve in the walkway and
passing an elderly couple out walking their pug. Once they were safely
out of hearing range, Robby asked, "So, is it like faggy or queer... "
He stopped the question and, as they walked, grew
Robby shook his head.
They walked on until they came to the western end of
the lake. Ethan began walking across the grassy area on the west side
toward the southwest. He pointed to a narrow, expensive looking two
story house among several narrow, expensive looking two stories, all
closely bunched together.
"That's our house."
"Looks nice," said Robby. "If you're such a hippy,
though, how come y'all live in such a nice place?"
Ethan grinned and said, "I'm not really a hippy. I'm
just me. Besides, my Dad makes a lot of money from his books and Mom
makes a lot of money from being a lawyer."
"But, I thought people like you didn't like money."
"We love money. Well, my parents love money. But,
Dad donates a lot of his money to a shelter for runaways in The Village
and Mom, well, she does a lot of pro bono work."
Robby stopped dead in his tracks as Ethan crossed
19th St toward his driveway.
"Pro boner? It's illegal to get a boner?"
Ethan laughed so hard, he had to lean against the
wrought iron gate before the brick steps leading up the slope to the
"Not 'boner.' Bono. It's Latin. It means 'good.' She
helps a lot of poor people and special causes and stuff. Her other work
pays for her special work."
As they climbed the steps past what looked like
oriental bushes and vines toward the front door, Robby was impressed.
Entering the front door, he was surprised. The front room was filled
with expensive looking antiques and furniture. It was not the hippy
commune he had anticipated.
"There you are."
A teenage girl in a short shirt and tight pullover
was approaching along a hallway from the back. She looked very much
like Ethan, same face almost and same hair pulled back in a ponytail,
though hers was a bit redder than Ethan's. She looked like she was
fifteen or sixteen.
"Mom's already left for dinner. She left pizza in
the kitchen. Chad and I are going out, but we're gonna be back around
nine, so give us the living room, OK?"
"No problem," said Ethan.
"Who's your friend?" she asked as she passed. Robby
felt uncomfortable as she seemed to look him up and down. He perfume
was nice, as well as something else. He wasn't sure what, but the funny
feelings inside him suddenly grew. He realized she was hot, like Ethan.
God, he was so weird.
"This is Robby. Robby, this is Allison."
"Pleased to meet you," Robby said with a polite
smile. Allison raised an eyebrow.
"Well, a Southern gentleman. And, cute."
"Hands off," said Ethan as he headed back to the
kitchen. "He's mine."
Robby was blushing fiercely, wondering just what the
heck Ethan meant. Allison had changed directions and was following them
back, a strange smile on her face.
"That's OK. He's too young for me anyway. Where are
you from, Robby?"
"Um, Texas," he replied, suddenly feeling
""Oooh," she replied with distaste.
"Don't worry," said Ethan, dropping his backpack and
violin beside the kitchen table. "He's from Austin."
"Oh, well, OK."
Robby was about to ask why that would make being
from Texas OK, and why there was a problem with being from Texas, when
Ethan added, "His father was Patrick McDonnell."
"Oh, the guy who wrote that stuff Dad was raving
about last year when he was in the hospital?"
Ethan nodded as he pulled a couple of plates from
"Your Dad was in the hospital?"
"Yeah," replied Ethan as he pulled a couple of
glasses from the cabinet. "He got beat-up at the Chicago riots. Me and
Mom did, too."
"You were in the riots? I thought you believed in
"I do. That's why. Riots don't accomplish anything.
They just let you vent your anger. There's better ways to vent your
The doorbell rang and Allison hurried out of the
kitchen, but not before giving Robby a wink. He felt his face flush and
his dick twitch. He dropped his overnight bag on the floor as Ethan
poured them a couple of Cokes and he sat down.
Ethan slapped slices of pizza on their plates and
"Like civil disobedience. That's how Gandhi was able
to make the British leave India."
"Oh, yeah," Robby replied, his mouth full. "You
think that would work with my Mom? Maybe I could make her quit acting
like a whore."
"It might be better if you’d just accept the fact
your Mom is like that and quit getting angry."
"You think its OK?"
Ethan shook his head as he bit more pizza.
"No, but she's her and you're you. You got a lot of
anger. You're dad's dead in an unjust war, your life's all different
now. You don't like your Mom's life. The kids at school torque you off.
You need to learn to chill out."
Robby started to retort angrily when Ethan grinned.
"See? Since you're my new friend, I'm going to do
you a favor and show you a couple of ways to relax and let go of your
Fifteen minutes later, the two boys were upstairs in
Ethan's room, Robby looking around in interest, Ethan setting his
backpack and violin in the corner and Robby's overnight bag behind an
old easy chair in the corner. Robby was looking at the large
old-fashioned bed. On the wall behind it was a large poster for The
Who. To the right, a poster announcing an anti-war rally at Columbia
University a year before. On another wall was a rather amateurish
painting of a dove flying over a garden. Underneath that was a
component stereo. Robby's eyes grew wide as he dropped to his knees
before it, as if worshiping a holy relic.
"Wow, this is so cool!" he exclaimed. Ethan shrugged.
"It's no big deal. I could live without it."
"Hey, I'll be glad to take it if you don't want it.
Let's play some music."
"In a minute. Take your shoes off and sit down."
Ethan took a large, thick candle from a shelf in the
corner and set it in the center of the floor. He struck a match and lit
it. The evening light was almost gone outside the window overlooking
the lake and the park as he closed the curtains. The room was dark
except for the golden light of the candle. Ethan gestured for Robby to
sit. The two boys sat before the candle, Robby removing his loafers,
Ethan his sandals.
"Cross your legs and put your hands on your knees
Feeling ridiculously stupid, (yet noticing something
illicit underneath), Robby followed Ethan's instructions and looked at
his friend. Suddenly he felt an enormous shock. Ethan was only a couple
of feet away from him, sitting in the same position, his face bathed in
the golden glow of the candle. Robby looked at Ethan's face and felt...
intense. He could think of no other word. He was beautiful. His clear
skin, his high cheekbones, his long, thin eyebrows, the way they arched
downward as they approached his ears, the dark blond hair pulled back,
the thin and almost feminine lips, the peaceful, serene look on his
face. All combined to take Robby's breath away. He literally wasn't
breathing as he looked at Ethan. His mouth parted as he gazed.
Ethan was watching Robby, looking curiously and,
then, a smile grew on his face.
The boy was startled and quickly he looked down at
the candle in shame.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
"Um, nothing. Nothing. So what so you want me to do
Ethan's smile grew.
"I want you to relax and look at me."
Robby was fiercely hard and his hands were tightly
gripping his knees; otherwise, they would have been trembling. He
looked up and his eyes met the those of his friend.
"Relax," Ethan said softly. His words, however, had
the opposite effect on Robby. The soft, breathy voice was like adding
fuel to the fire in Robby's heart. His breathing was ragged.
"Relax," Ethan almost whispered. "Close your eyes.
Close your eyes. Relax. Think of nothing. Clear your mind. Think of
nothing. Nothing. Nothing."
That was easy for you to say, Robby thought. All he
could think of was how beautiful Ethan was, how hard his own dick was,
and how much he wanted to lean over and kiss Ethan.
Oh, my god! he thought. I want to kiss Ethan!
In shock his eyes opened and he looked in surprise
at his friend. Ethan's eyes were closed, his golden face, so beautiful,
so angelic, so peaceful, was dominated by the relaxed smile on the boys
"Nothing. Nothing. Your breathing is slowing. Slow
your breathing. Slow. Nothing. Slow. Relax. Your heart is slowing.
Slow. Nothing. Slow."
Robby clandestinely watched Ethan, his eyes gazing
at the long and slender arms in the short sleeves of his yellow
pullover, almost hairless and softly tanned. A breeze from the slightly
open window caused the flame of the candle to flicker and the arms
seemed to breath, to come alive. Robby looked up at Ethan's face as the
flame stabilized and the flickering ceased.
"Peace. Think of peace. Let all the rage and anger
flow away from your body and your mind. Let it go. Let all the rage and
anger go. Peace. Peace."
Ethan's soft, musical voice was almost hypnotic. In
spite of the desire raging inside him, he did feel relaxed and at
peace. Sitting here in the dark and quiet of his room, alone with, he
had to admit, the most beautiful boy he had ever seen, bathed in the
warm glow of the candle before them, Robby felt a serenity, yes, a
serenity, he had never known. This was... this was just right. This
"You're at peace," Ethan breathed. "Peace. Your
father's at peace. Let him go. Embrace him. Let him go. Embrace him.
Celebrate your father's memory. He's at peace. He wants you to be at
peace. Release all the pain and anger. Let it all flow out of your
body, let it flow to the candle to be consumed in the fire and burn
away. Imagine your anger and pain all flowing down out of your body and
through the candle to the flame."
Robby did. Gazing at Ethan, he saw the ugliness of
his anger flowing out of his body like pollution, like a cancer, and
flowing across the floor to the candle. It rose up the taper and was
consumed in the flame, burning away in the faint smoke that rose into
the air above their heads.
Ethan became silent and Robby gazed peacefully at
him, feeling a tranquility completely foreign. This was the perfect
moment. Just perfect.
He could not guess how long they sat there silent
and peaceful, Ethan's eyes closed, Robby gazing at the serene smile on
the boy's face. That smile became for Robby the object of his
meditation. As Ethan focused his mind on peace, on nothing, Robby
focused on Ethan's lips, on his beautiful smile. In the distant
background, the sounds of the city, of traffic on Providence, of an
ambulance siren beyond, a jet passing overhead seemed like simple white
noise, adding to the peace in the room.
Finally, Robby saw Ethan's chest begin to rise. He
was breathing deeper. Robby looked up and saw his eyes slowly open.
Their eyes met and Ethan's smile grew. It looks like the smile of God,
Robby thought poetically, not feeling silly at all in thinking it.
For a long moment, the two simply looked at each
other, saying nothing, their eyes locked on the others, Robby's on
Ethan's blue, Ethan on Robby's hazel. Robby felt as if Ethan were
gazing inside him, roaming freely though his mind and soul, sharing his
inner most thoughts and fears and feelings and desires. Robby wanted
him to. Robby invited him to, opened the doors as Ethan roamed.
Finally, Ethan took a deep breath and their gaze
broke. Ethan's arms relaxed and fell to rest on his thighs. He took
another deep breath and gave a full, toothy, smile to Robby.
"How do you feel?" he asked in the same soft,
Robby's head leaned slightly to the right, as he
often did when thinking. His eyes looked down at the flame of the
candle and a happy smile came over his face.
"I feel... I don't know. I feel so... overwhelmed...
I... I don't know how I feel."
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one
step. I think you've just taken several. Let's take a few more."
Robby smiled. Ethan turned and leaned over to the
cabinet beside his bed, opened a door, and removed a second candle.
Turning back, he lit the second from the first, moving the first to the
left and setting the second on the right. The two were now bathed in
the glow of the two candles from both sides. Ethan returned his gaze to
Robby, who felt a renewed surge of desire and... love, yes, love as he
saw his friend in a new light, both physically and metaphorically.
Ethan sat for a moment, smiling at Robby, before be
reached down and grasped the bottom of his shirt. Slowly, his slim arms
pulled it up, obscuring his face, but revealing first his smooth
stomach, then, his ribs and, eventually, the round pennies of his
nipples. He pulled it up and over his head and as it cleared his face,
his ponytail fell over his bare back. Once again, he rested his arms on
his thighs and smiled at Robby the boy's eyes were flowing over Ethan's
torso, loving the sight of his slender chest, the ribs just barely
visible, the round copper brown of his nipples. Robby had never
seriously looked at nipples before, but Ethan's... they were... well,
beautiful was the only word he could think of.
"Take your shirt off."
Ethan's soft words, like honey flowing over him,
awoke him. He no longer felt embarrassed to be found looking at Ethan
in such a way. He knew that Ethan knew what was in his mind, his soul.
Ethan knew him. There was nothing left to hide.
Knowing what was happening, afraid yet not fearing, Robby
unbuttoned his shirt, his fingers trembling, yet more in control than
ever, started at the top and slowly worked their way down until his
shirt fell open. Slowly, he slipped it off his shoulders and let it
fall to the floor, revealing his own slightly muscled arms and chest.
He watched as it was now Ethan's turn to gaze up and down Robby's body.
When their eyes met again, Ethan's smile grew. Robby took a breath.
"Have you... ever... done..."
He couldn't finish his question because he wasn't
certain exactly certain what he was asking.
Ethan nodded and Robby felt a pang.
"Yes, but it doesn't really count. It wasn't right."
"What do you mean?"
Ethan looked to his right at the new candle and
paused a moment before replying.
"He was a student in one of my father's classes. He
said he loved me and that I was beautiful, but I knew he just wanted to
do it. He didn't really mean it. I did it anyway because I wanted to
know what it was like."
He was silent for a moment and, for the first time,
Robby saw.... pain in Ethan's eyes as his friend looked at the candle.
"What did you do?" he asked softly. Ethan simply
looked at the candle before speaking again.
"When it was over, he took a shower and got dressed
and left. He didn't even say good-bye."
Robby saw Ethan's eyes grow moist. He felt a sudden
urge to scoot over and put his arms around him, but before he could,
Ethan suddenly sat upright, closed his eyes and rested his hands on his
knees. Robby watched as the boy's breathing slowed. He waited as Ethan
meditated, gazing with love at his friend, wanting to hold him, but
knowing he needed this moment to himself.
Eventually Ethan breathed deeply and opened his
eyes, meeting Robby's. They both smiled.
"It was last spring. In fact, it was one of the
reasons my parents got a divorce. Since then, I've read a lot about
philosophy and religion and things like that. I was looking through
some of my Dad's books and found The Great Dialogues of Plato."
"You're eleven and you read Plato?"
"I'm twelve, but, yeah. I was just going through the
books and thought I'd look at it. I opened it up to The Symposium and
saw something about true love and men. Plato thought that the Gods
separated men into two parts and that love is when the two parts come
back together. I thought that was way cool and I decided I wanted to
find my other half. Maybe I won't ever find the other half, but maybe I
can find an other half and it will become the other half. Or maybe not.
Maybe I will find what I'm looking for in this life and my journey will
end. Or maybe, I won't and I'll have to come back and look some more.
Anyway, it doesn't matter. You never know until you try. The goal is
not the destination, but the journey."
Robby was stunned. He stared at his friend in
"You're so... wise, so, I don't know."
Ethan grinned and scooted forward, his knees meeting
Robby's. Slowly, he raised his arms and took Robby's face in his hands.
Robby closed his eyes and felt his body tremble at Ethan's touch as his
friend's hands slowly caressed and explored his face, his thumbs
following Robby's eyebrows, the palms of his hands sliding softly
across his cheeks, his fingers twining in the soft red hair. Robby took
a deep breath, his dick straining in his pants, his heart beating like
a drum. He opened his eyes and raised his hands to Ethan's face,
touching his friend, really touching his friend for the first time. He
ran his fingers over the smooth soft skin of his cheeks, ran them down
the long nose, around the thin lips, up and around the cheekbones,
along his thin eyebrows.
Then, the moment came, the moment Robby had thought
of the night before as he lay in bed and rubbed himself to dreams of
Ethan. Ethan leaned over closed his eyes. Their lips touched. Robby
felt a shock through his body. It wasn't really a kiss, yet. Their lips
just touched. Robby could smell the sweet breath of his friend, feel
the moist warmth of his breath on his upper lip.
And, then, they were kissing.
Ethan's hands pulled Robby's head forward, their
mouths uniting tightly. Robby moaned. Ethan groaned. The two breathed
deeply of the other and their lips pulled and loved each others'. Their
hands continued to caress the other's face as they held each other
For long, loving minutes they kissed until Ethan
released his hold on Robby's head and pulled back. His lips parted and
he was panting, his face flushed, as he looked up at Robby, whose face
was as red as his hair.
"Wow," was all Robby could say. Ethan giggled and
then gave Robby a grin.
"Take your pants off."
Robby breathing was ragged after the long bout of
kissing and he was almost dizzy. He swallowed, almost unable to move.
Taking a deep breath, he whispered, "OK."
Ethan's eyes were on Robby's as he leaned back and
stretched his legs out to Robby's left. He unfastened the belt and the
snap and then slowly lowered his zipper. Robby could see the long,
thick rise in Ethan's crotch and he froze, leaning back, his own legs
to Ethan's left, waiting breathless.
The flaps of Ethan's crotch opened, revealing the
white cloth of Ethan's briefs; and, then, Ethan stopped.
"I thought you were going to take yours off, too?"
As if waking suddenly, Robby looked up at his
grinning friend and smiled sheepishly.
"Sorry," he responded as he quickly unfastened his
belt and snap. He opened his pants and hooked his thumbs inside both
his pants and his briefs. He looked up at Ethan and the two pulled
their pants down at the same time, rocking back and forth on their
butts as they lowered them. They kicked their pants away and then
returned to sitting cross-legged in front of each other; only now, they
were completely naked.
Neither said a word as both of them gazed in awe at
the other's erection. Robby held his breath as he looked at, what
seemed to him to be, Ethan’s enormous boner. It must have been between
four and five inches long, standing upward, bobbing rigidly with
Ethan’s heartbeat. Beneath it were Ethan’s balls, big, like bird eggs,
and tightly hugging the base of his dick in a pink, slightly wrinkled
sack. However, it was his dick that fascinated Robby and he gazed at it
with longing, no longer afraid or ashamed to look.
“Do you like it?” Ethan asked softly, his honeyed
voice so exquisite to Robby, who could barely respond.
Ethan paused a moment and, then, replied, “Thank
Robby looked up. Ethan gave him a smile that seemed
different this time, that seemed to be conveying a message, as if he
wanted Robby’s approval and admiration, as if his thoughts and feelings
Robby’s own boner was pointing vertically and
bobbing just as stiffly as Ethan’s. Robby realized that it was such an
exciting feeling to be naked and for his boner to be out in the open
for Ethan to see. It seemed to make it even harder knowing that Ethan
was looking at it.
“Close your eyes,” said Ethan softly. The sound of
his voice made Robby’s dick jump. He did as Ethan said, also resting
his hands on his knees, which were just inches from Ethan’s.
“Think about your cock,” he said. Robby had never
heard his dick referred to as a cock before. It sounded so
different, so exciting, so nasty. Cock. Cock. Just thinking the word
made him excited.
“Think about how hard it is. How so very, very hard
it is. Focus on your cock. How good it feels to be hard and naked and
Horny. This was a new word. Instinctively, he knew
what it meant. Horny. Yeah, he was horny. He was very horny, hornier
than he had ever been.
“Think about how intense you feel, how much you need
your cock to feel good.”
Robby was. He was trembling. Despite the grip on his
knees, his hands were shaking so badly that he could feel it in his
arms. His whole body was shaking, he was so excited, so… horny.
Suddenly, Robby cried out. He opened his eyes and
found Ethan leaning forward, his right arm extended and his hand
wrapped around Robby’s rigid three inches. He was holding it gently,
not moving, not rubbing. He was merely holding it and it was the best
feeling Robby had ever had. His hand felt so warm, so… different. It
felt so much better than his own hand.
Robby was moaning, fighting the urge to thrust his
“Oh, Ethan, rub my dick. Please, rub it.”
Slowly, Ethan tightened his grip on the rigid boy
cock and Robby cried out again.
It was almost a grunt. Robby watched as Ethan’s left
hand moved forward. He watched, open-mouthed as it reached underneath
his cock and cupped his small, tight balls. He cried out again, this
time throwing his head back and closing his eyes in ecstasy.
Ethan was squeezing his dick and fondling his balls
and Robby was in Heaven. This time, he did thrust his hips up. He
braced himself from behind with his hands and pushed his hips upward
toward Ethan’s face, his butt lifting up into the air several inches.
Robby watched with his mouth open, breathing heavily between clenched
The feeling in his dick was growing and growing,
moving into that area deep inside him and behind his dick. Soon, he was
going to explode. He was losing his mind, it felt so good.
“Robby,’ Ethan breathed. “Feel me.”
Robby opened his eyes and saw Ethan breathing
through clenched teeth, as well, his eyes boring into him, his
beautiful dark lashes fluttering as he quickly blinked.
“Feel me,” he repeated, the urgency dripping from
his voice. Robby knew was going to. He had to. He had to feel Ethan.
There was nothing he wanted more at that moment in life than to feel
Ethan Spencer’s cock.
He leaned forward and rested his butt on the carpet.
His eyes locked on Ethan’s for a moment, he felt the need in the boy in
front of him. He looked down. The cock was so very hard, so very rigid,
pointing straight up, throbbing before him. He looked at the slit at
the top of the head and saw a drop of thick, clear liquid. It looked
like the liquid that would shoot out of Robby’s dick during the
explosion. Was Ethan about to explode? Robby hoped so, because he sure
felt as if he were about to.
Robby reached forward and grasped Ethan’s rigid cock
with the tips of his fingers, pulling it outward toward him. He
heard the rapid intake of breath and felt the sudden stiffening of
Ethan’s cock as his fingers held it away from Ethan’s body. Ethan’s
grip on his Robby’s cock tightened, causing him to groan as the
feelings seemed to skyrocket through his body. He had an almost
uncontrollable urge to thrust his hips forward as Ethan squeezed his
Robby looked hungrily at Ethan’s boner, at the
creamy white shaft, the red circle and the pink skin beneath the stiff,
hard helmet at the end. There were several very short, very fine dark
hairs at the base.
“You have hair,” Robby said.
“Yeah,” Ethan panted. “You probably will too in a
few months. Now, quit talking and rub my cock..”
Ethan grinned at Robby and, to make his point,
started pumping his friend’s boner. Robby gasped and threw his head
“Ah, gawww, oh, gawwww.”
He copied Ethan’s actions and pumped his friend’s
cock. Ethan hissed through clenched teeth.
“Nnnng, Nnnng, Nnnng.”
Suddenly, the feelings in Robby became unbearable.
With a loud cry, his face scrunched and he exploded. His body jerked
and spasmed as he whimpered. And, then, as quickly as it hit, it ended.
Painfully, he knocked Ethan’s hand away from his
hypersensitive dick as he panted, trying to catch his breath. He
realized he had stopped pumping Ethan and was merely holding the boner.
His eyes met his friend’s and Ethan grinned. He held his hand up to his
face and examined the clear liquid coating his thumb and index finger.
And, then, he did something that shocked Robby. He licked it.
Robby’s eyes grew wide with shock. Ethan simply
grinned, pushed Robby’s motionless hand away from his cock, wrapped his
own fist around it, and began to furiously pump himself.
Robby watched as he closed his eyes, breathing out
of his mouth, his head rolling side to side. Ethan reached out with his
left hand and grasped Robby’s still rigid boner and held it. Robby
flinched from the intense sensitivity of his cock, but he knew Ethan
needed to hold it.
Ethan began to make the “nnng” sounds again, his
voice rising and even squeaking as he maniacally pumped his boner. And,
then, Robby watched in fascination as Ethan had his own explosion.
Ethan was working his hips around, his body and shoulders rocking, his
head jerking back and forth, and… cream was shooting from his cock!
Clear liquid would ooze from Robby’s when he had his explosions, but
almost white, creamy goo shot out of Ethan’s and landed on his chest
and stomach and legs, coating his pumping hand as the boy moaned
through his explosion.
Soon, Ethan relaxed and, panting, his hand stopped
pumping. He held his boner as he gazed down at it in exhaustion, cream
coating his right hand.
“Wow,” was all Robby could say as he looked at his
friend in amazement. “Wow.”
Ethan looked up and grinned.
“That was great. We’ve got to do that again.”
“What’s that stuff?” Robby asked, pointing to a
streak of cream on the smooth inside of Ethan’s right thigh. Ethan
“That’s sperm, or cum. That’s what make babies when
you have intercourse with a girl.”
“How come it’s all white?”
“Well, that’s the sperm cells in the liquid.
Yours’ll turn white soon, too.”
Robby nodded and, still slightly flushed and tired,
smiled at his friend. Ethan reach behind him to the Kleenex box on the
nightstand and took several tissues. He wiped his himself clean and,
then, after tossing the tissues into the wastebasket, scooted forward,
wrapping his legs around Robby’s hips.
Robby figured out what Ethan was doing and did the
same. Thus, sitting front to front, the two boys heads fell forward,
foreheads resting against each other. Ethan took Robby’s hands in his
and squeezed them. Robby felt that the world was perfect.
“You are so cool, Ethan. You are so cool.”
“Thanks,” Ethan breathed. “You’re cool, too. I’m
glad you gave me a chance.”
For the longest moment, the two sat together, their
heads resting against the other, their hands clasped, their eyes
looking downward at the twin rigid boners still rising between the two.
A car door slamming in the driveway below, awoke the
two. Ethan looked toward the window and whispered, “Allison’s home.”
“Do we need to get dressed?” Robby asked nervously.
Ethan grinned and shook his head.
“They’re more afraid of us than we are of them.”
Robby giggled and put his arms around Ethan. He held
the boy tight, their heads resting on each other’s shoulders. Just the
previous Monday, he thought the boy in his arms a freak. Now, at that
moment, he was the best thing in Robby’s life.
After a long moment, he pulled his head back. Ethan
raised his and their eyes met.
His friend simply smiled, that peaceful, serene,
infuriating, lovable smile.
“You’re a cool friend.”
“Well, I try,” Ethan whispered in Robby’s ear. His
hands were gently running up and down Robby’s back. His warm breath in
Robby’s ear and on his neck made him shiver.
“Yes,” he whispered in Robby’s hair.
“I want you to know that I’m not doing it with you
‘cause you’re cute. I’m not like that guy from your dad’s class.”
“I’d do it with you even if you weren’t cute. I
think you’re really special and…”
Robby was getting embarrassed. He wasn’t accustomed
to saying things such as this to another guy. He bit his lip and looked
down at Ethan’s smooth, tanned shoulder, glowing so warmly in the
“I’m glad we’re friends.”
Ethan rested his head against Robby’s and the two
boys held each other, their arms and legs entwined, their erections
rising stiffly against each other, their breaths warmly caressing the
“Hey,” Ethan whispered as he pulled back. ‘You want
to see something cool?” he asked with a naughty grin on his face.
“What?” Robby asked with a grin of wicked
Ethan put a finger to his lips and untangled himself
from his friend. He crawled across the carpet to the door and placed
his ear against it. He grinned, rose to his knees, and gestured for
Robby to come. Slowly he turned the knob and pulled the door open.
“What are you doing?” Robby whispered with alarm.
Ethan waved his hand for silence and stood. Robby
followed suit and watched in trepidation as a naked Ethan, his cock
still as erect as before and rising upward from his tummy, stepped out
into the hallway. He gestured for Robby to follow. The red-head
hesitated, but Ethan gestured more emphatically and grinned.
“Come on,” he mouthed.
Robby swallowed and, his own boner leading the way,
followed Ethan out into the hall.
It was frightening and, yet, exciting to be naked
out in the open in such a dangerous way, knowing there were people
downstairs. Were they going to spy on Ethan’s sister and her boyfriend?
The sudden thought made Robby smile and brought a twitch to his boner.
Ethan was tip-toeing down the hall to the top of the
stairs. Robby followed, his hands shaking again. As they reached the
stairs, Ethan stopped and held out his hand. He listened and then
turned to Robby and grinned. Robby came up beside Ethan and listened.
It was quiet, but he could hear whispering and… something else.
Moaning. It was moaning! The same kind of moaning that had
occurred in Ethan’s room just a few minutes before! They were
Ethan looked back at Robby and grinned. He leaned
forward and listened a moment before taking a step. Robby put a fearful
hand his shoulder and mouthed the word, “No.”
Ethan simply grinned and took two more steps
Ethan looked back at Robby, stifling a chuckle.
Robby smiled uncertainly, but remained where he was as Ethan waived him
“Come on,” Ethan mouthed.
Robby bit his lower lip and took a tentative step
Robby froze, but the whisper was coming from the
“Let me take it off. Yeah. Yeah.”
Robby saw Ethan stifle a chuckle. As he descended
low enough on the stairs to peek down below the ceiling of the foyer,
he stopped and dropped to his knees. He motioned Robby downward.
When he sat beside Ethan, he leaned forward and saw
Allison and a teenage boy who must have been “Chad” sitting on the
couch. Chad’s back was to them, but Allison was facing them. All she
had to do was look up and see could see them crouching on the steps in
the darkness. The living room was illuminated only by the blue glow of
the street light outside shining through the thin curtains of the
window. Allison was naked from the waist up and Chad’s dark-curled head
was moving around Allison’s boobies. Robby’s eyes grew wide and his
Ethan leaned over until their warm bodies were
touching. He looked up at Robby and grinned before turning back to
watch the spectacle unfolding below. However, as he did, his right hand
crept between Robby’s naked legs and began to caress his rigid dick.
His fingers moved around the throbbing boner, his thumb sliding across
the sensitive tip, his pinky rubbing the smooth sack around Robby’s
balls. He smiled as he heard the rapid intake of breath,
Allison was laying back more, now, and Chad seemed
to be really working on her left booby. His left hand was seriously
working her right booby and she was moaning softly, continuously. Robby
could see her hands seemed to be underneath Chad. Was she feeling his
Robby felt a serious surge of sexiness as Ethan felt
his dick. He wondered what Chad’s dick looked like. Was it big and fat
and hard? Did it have lots of hair around it?
Without realizing what he was doing as he watched
the scene below, Robby reached across to Ethan and slid his hand across
this friend’s smooth thigh. Ethan’s skin was so soft and warm. Ethan
spread his legs wider, giving Robby freedom to do what he wanted.
Robby’s fingers slid across to the point where Ethan’s thigh and dick
met. The tips of his fingers stopped at the rigid stiffness of the base
of Ethan’s dick. He waited a moment as, on the couch, Chad moved to
Allison’s right booby. When Allison moaned even loader, Robby moved his
hand and cupped Ethan’s balls, so much bigger than his own. Ethan
In the silence of the stairway, with the only sounds
being Allison’s moans from the couch and the breathing of the two
boyish spies, Ethan’s moan seemed like a bullhorn. He froze. Allison
suddenly stiffened and jumped.
“Ethan! You perv!”
Chad sat up and looked backward with shock.
“Jeez! He’s naked!”
“Get out!” Allison screamed.
Ethan giggled again jumped up, pulling Robby by the
dick and ran up the stairs just as they heard the sound of the backdoor
slamming. Ethan giggled even more when he heard Allison’s furious,
muffled comment, “She’s home, damn it. Where’s my pullover?”
Robby was appalled that they had been caught and
even more frightened that Ethan’s mother was home and they were running
naked through the second floor! When they ran into the bedroom and
Ethan had closed the door, he leaned against the door frame and cracked
Robby was desperately picking his clothes up off the
floor and trying to figure out which leg was which in his pants.
“You should see yourself!” Ethan guffawed. Robby
looked up in a panic.
“You’re Mom’s home and Allison’s gonna be up here in
a minute and we’re naked!”
“Calm down. Everything’s cool. Mom’s not going to
come up here and Allison sure won’t ‘cause she and Chad are too busy
trying to get out of getting caught down there. It’s cool”
Ethan walked over to Robby and took his hands,
making his drop the pants he was holding. He leaned over and kissed
Robby’s lips and then pulled him to the bed.
“This is too weird. I mean, this is just way weird,”
Robby muttered as Ethan pulled the covers back and sat down. His friend
slide across the wide bed and sat with his legs spread out, his cock
still rigid, pointing vertically and throbbing.
“Come here,” Ethan said, holding out his arms with a
“What about your mom?”
“It’s OK, dork. She’s not coming in. Now come here!”
Robby looked uncertainly at the door and, then, at
the two candles burning on the floor.
“Blow that one out and put the other here,” Ethan
said, pointing to this nightstand. Robby did as he was told and then
climbed naked onto the bed. Ethan took his hand and pulled him close.
“Come on,” he whispered as they scooted together,
entwining their legs around each other’s hips. Ethan rested his hands
on Robby’s thighs.
“You are so cute,” he whispered. Robby blushed and
“You really think so?”
Ethan smiled and nodded.
“I love your red hair and your freckles look so… I
don’t know. You look so much like… I guess the perfect American boy.
You remind me of Opie.”
“What? Opie?” Robby demanded indignantly.
“Sure. Say ‘Hey, Paw! Where’s Barney?’”
“No way! I do not look like Opie. And, I don’t sound
Ethan was grinning mischievously.
“Sure you do. You have the same accent.”
“I do not. He’s from North Carolina. I’m from Texas.
There’s a big difference.”
“Actually, Ronnie Howard’s from Oklahoma. Maybe
that’s why you sound like him. Anyway, I didn’t mean to make you mad. I
like it. I think you’re cute. I love the way you look and talk and how…
real you are. I can look in your eyes and I know that you don’t lie or
steal or cheat. You’re cool.”
Robby looked down shyly at the rigid dicks between
their legs and smiled.
“I really think you’re cute, too. In fact.” Robby
paused and then continued. “I think you’re beautiful. The first time I
saw your ponytail, I hated it. But, you look so cool and part of it is
because you don’t care what people think. You’re just so cool and smart
and you know so much about meditation stuff and…”
Before he could say anything else, Ethan leaned
forward and kissed him.
They sat silent for several minutes, just holding
each others hands. Then Robby grinned.
“What?” Ethan asked.
“Allison and Chad sure were making out hard.”
“They’re always going at it. Chad’s always horny. I
think Allison teases him.”
“What’s ‘horny’ mean?”
“You know, when you’re feeling hot and randy and
“Ah. So Allison teases him? She gets him horny and
then won’t do anything?”
“Do you, like, watch ‘em a lot?”
Ethan gave a nasty grin.
“Between you and me, I think Allison likes it. She’s
kind of weird.”
“She must be. She sure was getting crazy when Chad
was kissing her boobies.”
“It feels good.”
Ethan gave Robby another nasty grin and slid his
hands up Robby’s torso. Robby felt a thrill as his friend’s hand moved
upward, but it was nothing compared to what happened when Ethan’s
thumbs stopped on his nipples. Ethan slid his thumbs across the stiff
little nubbins and Robby looked at if he had just received an electric
shock. His eyes grew wide and his mouth fell open.
“Feel good?” Ethan whispered nastily.
Robby couldn’t respond at first. He squirmed a
little as Ethan’s thumbs relentlessly rubbed his nipples. Then he
“It’s weird, but, yeah, it feels good. Real good.
Oh, wow. Oh, wow.”
Ethan chuckled and then pulled at Robby’s nipples
with his thumbs and index fingers.
“Yeah, you like that?”
“Oh, man. Oh, man, that feels so good. That makes my
dick so hard!”
“Yeah, do it to me.”
Robby reached up and followed Ethan’s example. His
friend closed his eyes and his mouth opened.
“Oh, yeah. Keep doing that. Don’t stop.”
Moaning and whimpering, the two boys writhed
together, rubbing their nipples and breathing in each other’s ear.
“Oh, man, Ethan, I feel so horny.”
“Yeah. Keep doing it. Just keep doing it. Feel it,
man. Feel how good it feels. Let it just feel good.”
Robby felt so intense, so different. It was like
rubbing his dick, but different. Yet, he was getting the same feeling
inside his dick and deep behind it. Not on the outside, but it was sure
a lot like rubbing.
“Ethan, I gotta rub my dick!”
“No! Just keep doing this. You can do it. Just keep
“Nnnng, mmmmm, nnnnnnnnnggggggg!”
Robby’s moans were becoming more plaintive, as if he
were going to cry. His voice was almost squeaking. Their heads were
resting against each other and Robby could feel Ethan’s warm ragged
breaths against his torso and his throbbing boner.
Suddenly, Ethan almost growled . He grabbed Robby by
the shoulders and pushed him down on the bed. The shocked boy looked
up, his wide with surprise as Ethan crawled on top of him. Ethan’s body
was laying on top of Robby’s, their hips meeting, their rigid dicks
pressing against each other’s abdomens. Ethan was holding himself up by
his elbows. His face hovered just inches over Robby’s, a hungry, almost
manic expression on his face as he looked down at his friend.
Robby couldn’t help it. He thrust his hips upward,
sliding his stiff boner against Ethan, feeling Ethan’s rigid dick
pulsing against him. Ethan growled, thrust back, and leaned down. Their
mouths met and they began to hungrily kiss each other, their hips
thrusting and pushing madly against each other. Robby’s arms wrapped
tightly around Ethan as the squirmed and writhed against each other.
Ethan’s tongue pushed against Robby’s lips. Ethan
wanted to stick his tongue in Robby’s mouth! The thought was repulsive,
but Robby knew he wanted it, needed it. His lips parted and Ethan’s
tongue pushed in.
“Nnnggg! Nnnggg!” they both moaned. They were insane
as they ground together, thrusting and humping, desperate to make their
dicks feel good, hungry to taste each other, frantic to male every
square inch of their skin touch the other.
Their cries grew louder and faster. Robby could feel
the feeling building faster and harder than it ever had. He was
going to explode and it was more than he had ever felt in his life. He
lost all rational thought as he humped and writhed and bucked,
squeezing Ethan to him, thrusting his own tongue against the twisting,
thrusting tongue of Ethan.
They both stiffened and they both cried.
Their simultaneous explosions were rocking the bed.
They were mindlessly thrusting against each other, growling, crying,
panting. Robby could feel moisture between them, coating his tummy. He
could taste Ethan in his mouth. He could feel Ethan quaking atop him.
He loved Ethan Spencer. In that moment, he knew he
And, when they finally collapsed and Ethan rested
his head atop Robby’s, they lay on the bed, Ethan stop Robby, panting
in his face, Robby experienced the most intense moment of peace and
love in his life.
A moment later, Ethan took a deep breath and rolled
to the side off Robby. Robby rolled with him, his arms locked around
his friend. They looked into each other’s eyes and grinned.
“I love you, Ethan,” Robby whispered into Ethan’s
“I love you, Robby.”
They smiled at each other and, then, Robby said,
“Let’s do that again. This time I want to be on top.”
Ethan gave the biggest smile of his life.
Well, there you have it. Chapter Five and our first love scene.
I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you write to me with your opinion at chriswriter@operamail. com.
Thank you so much for your support!!!