Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 13:08:21 -0500 From: fsw99 Subject: Chapter 11 of Dear Diary Legal Notice: The following story contains descriptions of graphic sexual acts. The story is a work of fiction and has no basis in reality. Don't read this story if: **You're not 18 or over, **If it is illegal to read this type of material where you live, **Or if you don't want to read about gay/bi people in love or having sex. The author retains copyright to this story. Placing this story on a website or reproducing this story for distribution without the author's permission is a violation of that copyright. Legal action will be taken against violators. E-mail responses to the stories, story suggestions or other 'constructive' comments or advice may be sent to: fsw99@mindspring.com. All e-mails will be answered. DEAR DIARY By Stan Chapter Eleven Mom drove us up to the gate where the guard looked at the brother's camping permit and waved us through. Brian instructed Mom on how to get to the camp site and we were there quickly. She went through a whole list of things for me to be careful about, but I hardly heard her. I was too busy looking around at my home for the next couple of days. With Matt!!!! Nothing she could say was going to spoil this trip. She finally kissed me good bye and drove off. Finally!!!! "We will make sure and kiss you good night and tuck you in when we go to bed," Bruce kidded. "We wouldn't want you to miss your Mommie too much." "Oh, thanks. I brought my teddy bear, too. It is in my back pack. Does that mean you will suck my little weenie so I can get a good night's sleep, too?" I kidded back. "Well, someone might, but if I did, I think Matt might get pissed," Bruce answered, giggling. "You're right about that. His little weenie is for me and me only. If you are going to have anything to suck on tonight, it had better be your thumb, or you better talk really nicely to Brian," Matt said, laughing. We were all in a great mood. Two days and nights all by ourselves. We put all the backpacks near where the tent would be put up, and Brian started unloading them. He would hand each of us things as he unpacked, and we started to get organized. After a few minutes, we had food in one backpack, the tent pieces laid on the ground, clothes in another backpack and the charcoal and lighter fluid, along with several pans for cooking, by the grill. He had even brought paper plates and plastic knives and forks and two trash bags. The tent went up quickly, with all of us helping. Well, I mostly just held whatever they told me to hold, but I helped as much as I could. The sun was about to go down, so Brian poured all the charcoal briquettes from the baggies onto the grill, poured on some lighter fluid, and lit the fire. Just then, we heard car doors shutting in the parking lot above us. Someone else was here. We continued to set up camp, and started looking around for some branches to build a fire for later on that night. We heard a car trunk slam shut and shortly afterwards, three other boys were walking down the path to our camp site. They were all three Brian's size or bigger. "Sorry, guys. We have this camp site reserved," the biggest one said. "You can't reserve a camp site. It is first come, first served. We've been coming here for years, so we know that for a fact," Brian answered. "Well, this is the site we always use when we come camping. Now, be nice little boys and go find somewhere else to camp before we have to hurt you." "We are already set up and have our fire started. We can't put it out now. It's too late. Just go find somewhere else, OK?" Brian asked peacefully. "We appreciate you starting a fire for us, don't we guys? That was really neighborly of you. Now, get your stuff and go before you make me really mad." "Look, we haven't done anything to you. At least not yet. We aren't leaving. You are," I said quietly. The big one stopped in his tracks and put down the cooler he was carrying. "What did you say?" "We are just minding our own business. We don't want any trouble. But you can't just walk in and take over, after we were here first. If you try to, we will fight to stay where we are," I answered calmly. The best thing to do in a case like this is to stay calm. "And you four little guys are going to beat up all three of us?" he laughed. "I can whip all four of you by myself." "Somehow, I don't think so," I answered. "Why don't I start with you, then?" he sneered, as he walked towards me. "Bobby, wait a minute. Are you the kid who got into the fight with Alex at school?" the smallest of the three asked. "Yeah. And if you saw that fight, you know I didn't want to fight him. I tried to talk him out of it. And Bobby, I don't want to fight you. But I will if I have to. You just can't expect us to turn tail and run just because you say so. And I did send Alex to the hospital. I guess it's your choice. We can be friends and you and your two buddies will just have to find another place to camp. That is what all of us want. Or you can try and take me. None of us want that, and I don't think you are going to like how it turns out if you do." "What if all three of us try to take you down, all at the same time?" he asked. "You think you can handle all of us at once?" "You know, I hope we don't have to find out, but he won't have to take all of you on at once. Steve, we know each other. Not real well, I guess, but we did have PE together last year. You're bigger than I am, but I think I can hold my own against you until Jamie finishes with Bobby, which won't be too long. Matt and Bruce can take on you," he said, motioning to the third bigger boy. "None of us like to fight, but we aren't going to stand around while three of you beat up Jamie either, are we guys?" "You know I'm not," Matt said bravely, with a look of determination on his face and his fists clenched. "Me either," Bruce added. "Steve, Mike, what do you think?" Bobby asked. "We're here to work on merit badges for scouts. If anyone in our scout troop found out we fought four younger kids to get the best camping spot, I think we might get kicked out of the scout troop," Mike answered, looking a little afraid. That seemed to stop Bobby cold. "I guess you're right. I'm being stupid. It's not a very good example to set for my two younger brothers, is it?" "No, it's not," Steve said, walking over to him. "Not something a boy scout should do, either. Come on, let's find another spot." "You're right." Bobby walked over to me and held out his hand. "Sorry. I was being a jerk." I took his hand in mine and shook it. I grinned at him and said, "No problem. I am just glad I could talk my way out of a fight for once. One of these days, I am going to get my butt kicked." That made everyone laugh, and all the tension immediately faded between all of us. We all shook hands and introduced ourselves. Mike was in the same grade as Matt and I, but I had never seen him before. Steve and Bobby were in high school along with Brian. "Hey, we have to go and get set up before dark. Maybe we can come back over tomorrow and go swimming together if you guys want to," Bobby said. "That would be great. We have two more coming tomorrow morning. You need some help setting up your camp? We could help if you want," Brian offered. "No thanks. We can manage. Merit badges and all, you understand? We have to do it all by ourselves. You guys have a cooler?" Bobby asked. "No, we have drinks, but we haven't even put them in the lake yet," Brian answered. "Well, we have plenty. We have several more six packs in the truck. Here, take a six pack of cokes. They are ice cold. Oh! I don't know." Bobby looked like he was arguing with himself. "Look, you aren't going to tell anyone about any of this, are you?" he asked. "We don't have any secrets with the two brothers coming tomorrow, and we have to tell them, but none of us are going to tell anyone else, right guys?" Brian asked. We all shook our heads affirmative. "OK. You guys want four beers? We don't have many, but we can spare four. But you can't tell anyone about these, either. About anything. You promise?" Bobby asked. Brian just smiled hugely. "That sounds like a really good deal. Done!" Bobby just smiled, and got out a six pack of cokes and four beers from his cooler. "You guys have fun tonight. We will all be back about noon tomorrow, OK?" "Yeah, that is fine with us," Brian answered. All of us shook hands once more, and they carried their stuff back up the hill and left. We finally heard the engine start up, and them drive away. "I'm glad that is over with," Bruce said. "Me too," I added. "You were awesome again," Matt gushed as he came up and hugged me. "No. You don't understand. I was scared shitless." "No you weren't. You were totally calm. I could tell you weren't afraid," Matt answered. I just smiled. "See, you don't understand about karate. It isn't offensive. It's defensive. I really had no idea what Bobby was going to do, and that isn't a good feeling. I was just going to react to what he did. And I was hoping he didn't do anything. I wasn't just hoping, I was praying. Does that make any sense?" "Yeah. Totally. I saw how you reacted after both of your battles. It was like you were hurting inside as much as they were outside. Like you shared their pain. That is why I love you so much. It is like I can see into your soul, and know you are a really nice guy inside. Not just a nice guy, but a special person. That is why I am looking forward so much to us finally making love tonight. I want you inside me so bad, I don't know what to do about it." "Matt!!!" Brian yelled. "Oh God, I'm sorry. I can't believe I said that," Matt said, as he ran off from us. I just watched him run away, stunned. Did he mean what I thought he meant? I just stared after him, and finally my gazed kind of blurred. "Jamie? Jamie, I guess we have to talk. Bruce, go ahead and put on some hot dogs on the fire, OK?" Brian asked. "You might as well open the beans, too." "Sure, Brian," Bruce said, getting up and starting to work. Brian moved over next to me. "Look, Matt is my brother. I love him. I want the best for him, and I think that is you. I know we have rushed you. I think you have enjoyed everything that has happened to you. But Matt wants more. He wants you to make love to him, and when you are ready, he wants to make love to you. If you still aren't following, that means up the butt. You just don't know what it feels like. You just can't understand." I still stared out into space, but I was fully hard. I was so hard, it was hurting in the position I was in. I unconsciously rearranged myself so it wouldn't hurt. "Hehehehe Sorry, to laugh, but I can see that you aren't that opposed to the idea. Look, you love me and all the other guys, right?" Brian asked. I finally looked up at him. He was looking me right in the eyes. I couldn't lie to him. "Yeah." "And you know we all love you?" I didn't hesitate. "Yeah." "You want me to tell you about Nate and I and Bruce and Dave? We have all talked about this, and all have agreed I can." "Yeah." "Nate has done it to me many times. I love it. I want it lots more than Nate does. Nate still doesn't want me to do it to him, so I haven't pushed for it. I don't care. We are happy this way. Dave and Bruce do it to each other like rabbits. The reason I am telling you this is you will be in the same tent with us tomorrow night, and you are going to see all of us making love together. I know you know about all the sex Matt and I had with Bruce when we were younger, right?" I was still stunned. All I could say was, "Right." "Well, that was wrong. I know it now, but I didn't know it then. Back then, I was so horny, I could have fucked a sheep. We took advantage of Bruce, and when he didn't seem to mind it, even liked it, we did it over and over. We are older now, and we don't want to do anything like that again. Bruce and I have boyfriends, and all we want is to be with our boyfriends. Yeah, we want sex with them, but not with each other. The most we will ever do is hand jobs, like we did with you. That is as far as any of us will go. Does that make sense?" "Yeah," I answered, as I stared out into space and absorbed new knowledge. "Look, I know all of this is information overload. Tonight, Matt does want you to make love to him. He wants it really badly. He also can't tell you that. He asked me to tell you. How do you feel about that?" "I don't know," I answered. Brian just giggled. He reached over and started to unbuckle my belt. That shook me out of my seizure state. "What are you doing?" I asked, pushing his hands away. "Look, I have seen it before. I dare you to take off your blue jeans right now and tell me you aren't excited about making love to Matt," he giggled. I giggled back. "OK, you're right. But, I don't know what to do." "Can I help? I really want to. For you and Matt," Brian added. "Sure. I guess so." "See, Nate and I didn't have a clue, either. Nate might have really hurt me if it wasn't for an internet friend from England named Phill. We were all part of this crazy pen pal club that this old guy named Stan organized, and Phill and I would talk over ICQ at times. We weren't exactly stupid. We knew dick A needed to go into ass hole B. But, it wasn't quite as easy as putting together toys you got for Christmas. The pieces didn't go together nearly as well, and Phill really helped." "What did he tell you?" I asked. "Well, Phill first told me that you can really hurt your partner if you try and go too fast. He was really embarrassed at first from my questions. We hadn't talked much in the past, but he was on line and talking to me, so why not take a chance? I had to keep asking over and over. I had to practically beg him, but he finally told me what I wanted to know. He even told Stan that he had told me `The glorious details of anal sex`. Hehehehe "Well, what he ended up telling me is that you have to get your partner as loose as you possibly can first. The anal muscles will stretch after a while. Use LOTS of lubricant, like KY Jelly, and take your time. LOTS of time! Maybe 30 minutes, if it takes that long. One finger until it is comfortable, then two, then three. It will be worth it in the end." That cracked up both of us and lessened the tension. "Matt has never done this before. He has watched us do it enough, though. But he wants to, and really badly. I think he wants to prove he is a tough guy just like you." "But he doesn't have to. I am fine the way we are. If we never do it, I wouldn't care." "I know. Nate is the same way. I wanted it between Nate and I, not him. And I wanted it as bad as Matt does. You might never want it. But I can tell you this, it feels awesome. Lots better than you could ever imagine. That's why I won't push Nate. He has to want it on his own. That, and I love him too much to ask for something he isn't ready to do. But, I am happy where we are. And, I'm not going to do something, ask Nate for something he doesn't want, and spoil what we have. I love him and this is what I want. And this is what he wants. We love each other. We are comfortable like this. Both of us. Bruce and Dave are different than Nate and I. They would do anything. That's fine, too. But now, you have to decide what you want. Matt wants you to make love to him tonight. That is part, maybe the end of your initiation. See, really, your initiation was to make sure we could do anything in front of you and you not freak out. You didn't have to do what we were doing, but you just had to know that it had to be kept within our family. And now, you are one of our family, and that you have already proven." That last statement brought tears to the corners of my eyes. "Thanks. I love all you guys, too." I reached over and hugged Brian, and he readily hugged me back. "Look, Matt is kind of embarrassed right now. He should have talked all of this over with you before now, but I think he is scared you will just turn him down. He wants this really badly. Bruce and I can show you how to get him ready, if you want to. It's your choice. It is a huge step in your relationship. If you don't want to, I can go after Matt and try and explain it to him. You've said that you want him to be your boyfriend, but again, we have really rushed you through all of this. If you aren't ready for this step, I can explain it to Matt. What do you want to do?" "The first thing I want is to be over all this initiation bullshit! I want to be part of your group, without any strings attached. No more secret talks behind my back. No more me wondering what the Hell are you talking about. And, second, I want to go find Matt and us work this out." "That sounds fair to me. Your initiation is officially over. You are now the sixth brother. And I wish you luck with my temperamental middle brother." We hugged once again. "Thanks. I think I might need it." To be continued. Our group has a new web site. Come visit us: www.gayfreezone.homestead.com. Comments are appreciated and always answered. Comments can be sent to fsw99@mindspring.com and are forwarded to a group e-mail account so all the guys can read them too.