Date: Sun, 04 Mar 2001 12:24:08 -0500 From: fsw99 Subject: Chapter 6 of Dear Diary Legal Notice: The following story contains descriptions of graphic sexual acts. The story is a work of fiction and has no basis in reality. Don't read this story if: **You're not 18 or over, **If it is illegal to read this type of material where you live, **Or if you don't want to read about gay/bi people in love or having sex. The author retains copyright to this story. Placing this story on a website or reproducing this story for distribution without the author's permission is a violation of that copyright. Legal action will be taken against violators. E-mail responses to the stories, story suggestions or other 'constructive' comments or advice may be sent to: fsw99@mindspring.com. All e-mails will be answered. DEAR DIARY By Stan Chapter Six I was puzzled as they walked back up. Tad was grinning slightly. "Look, I know this is none of my business, but if the three of us are going to be close friends, I just have to ask. How close friends are you two?" Tad asked. "Huh? What do you mean?" I asked, startled by his question. "I mean, are you two boyfriends?" Tad asked quietly. My mouth fell open and I blushed about as hard as I possibly could. I was shocked speechless. "No, we are just good friends," Matt said quickly. I looked at Matt, who also looked shocked, but not nearly as much as I was. "Hehehehe Look, I'm really not trying to pry. I'm really not. I was the first person Matt ever came out to. That was two years ago. I couldn't have cared less. We still spent lots of nights together after that. I loved Matt like a brother then, and still do. All I did was ask him if you knew he was gay, and he said you did. So, I had to ask. Especially if we are all going to be friends. And you did say you owed me." I finally closed my mouth, but it was hard to speak. I looked over at Matt and he was also staring at me, waiting for what I was going to say. And the bad part was, I didn't have a clue what I was going to say. "Uhm.....well.....uhm.....I just....." "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that. It wasn't fair. You really don't know me very well. One thing I can promise you though is that I wouldn't tell anybody anything you ever told me. I have never told one person what Matt told me about himself, and I never will. Matt knows that. That is why I had to ask him first, or I wouldn't have said anything to you. I just wanted Matt to be happy, and he looked happier in the last few days than in a long time. I just thought you were the reason." "He is," Matt answered. I looked at Matt quickly, and he had a big smile on his face. God, how had this happened? I still couldn't talk. "Look, I am so sorry. Just forget it, OK? I haven't seen Matt much over the summer, and I guess I have just been missing him. Let's just be friends, OK? Maybe we could all get together over at my house this weekend." "Sorry, Tad, we are all going camping with my brothers and Nate and Dave this weekend. We already made plans," Matt said. "Well, that's fine. Maybe the next weekend, huh? I just missed you and wanted to get to know your new best friend a little better. Next weekend?" Tad asked, as he put his arm around Matt's shoulders. Matt did the same to him, and said, "That's fine with me. What do you think, Jamie?" "That sounds good, but I will have to ask my Mom." "Well, that is all we can do for now. I am glad you two met. I am also glad I could help, if I really did, with my Dad. You guys ready to go back to the cafeteria?" Tad asked. "I guess so. By the way, Jamie gave a card where he teaches karate to your Dad. He told us you had been wanting to take lessons. Jamie would be one of your instructors," Matt added. "Is that right? That's great!! I have asked him forever to let me take karate. See Jamie, you have also helped me. Maybe your two fights have finally made him understand that you have to be able to defend yourself. You didn't start either fight, but your skills were nice to have when you needed them. Maybe now I owe you!" This statement finally calmed me down enough to get me over the shock of what he had asked me. I could finally talk again. "Well, if I helped with that, I'm glad I did." "Great. Look, it is almost time for our gym class. Let's go ahead and get dressed out. Maybe we can all find three lockers close to each other so we can change together. We can shoot some baskets until time for class, OK?" Tad asked. "Sure, that is fine with me," I answered. Tad put his other arm around me, as he pushed us all gently forward, all three arm in arm. I also put my arm around his shoulder. I just didn't see Matt look up questioningly. We were able to change lockers and get all three of us together. While we were changing, I noticed that Tad was checking me out while I undressed. What was that all about? But, I had to admit, I was kind of checking him out, too. Tad and I talked while we were getting our gym clothes on, but Matt was kind of subdued. Not like Matt at all. The three of us all went into the gym and started playing basketball. We each got a ball, and were really having fun shooting as all the other students started to come in and join us. Our fun ended as the Coach came in when the class finally started and made us all go outside and run laps around the track. Laps and more laps!!! All of us were really tired when we got back into the changing area and started to strip off our wet clothes. I was glad for the first time that they required you to wear a jock strap instead of underwear under our gym shorts. My gym shorts and jock were both wet. I decided to bring something tomorrow to put them in to take them home and wash them before the next day. Already, they were starting to smell. I was tired enough that I didn't think much about it as I was taking off all my clothes and going to take my shower. Tad and I both started for the shower at the same time, and I heard Matt say, "Jamie, wait up for me," as he was stripping off both his shorts and jock at the same time. Both Tad and I waited until he was finished undressing, and I saw him blush when he noticed us staring at him. His already smallish dick and balls had shrunk to an even smaller size from all the running, and he was clearly embarrassed. I tried to help. "Come on, buddy. Let's go get our showers. No one is going to stare at you." "What does that mean? Fuck you, why don't you and Tad just go by yourselves? I don't want you to wait for me, anyway." I was too tired to argue. I just looked at Tad, who had a perplexed look on his face, and we headed for the showers without Matt. Matt finally did join us, but he didn't say anything to either one of us. He even showered a place or two away. I had no idea what he was mad about this time, but this wasn't the place to ask. I finished quickly, at about the same time as Tad, and we walked over and started to towel dry together. Matt glanced at us once or twice, but stayed under the spray of water. Finally, we walked back to get dressed without him. I didn't see Matt until it was time for the next class. I looked for him until it was almost too late, so I sat down in the seat I had always taken. I saw Matt come in at the last moment and sat down in a different row. He didn't even look at me. I kept staring at him, but he kept his attention at the front of the class. When the class was over, he was one of the first ones to leave, and he was already sitting in a different seat from where we always sat when I walked in. I had no idea what I had done, but I knew he was mad at me once again. I sat in my regular seat, and finally the last class of the day was over. Matt beat me out of the class again and was gone before I could find him in the crowd. Everybody else was putting up their books, glad to be finished for the day, but I still had an hour of detention. Fucking wonderful!!! I slowly walked over to the cafeteria, where our noon slop was served, and looked for Matt. He was sitting by himself, at a table in the very back. I slowly walked over to the table and asked, "Is it OK if we sit together?" "Sure, if you want to." I sat down and asked, "Matt, what is wrong now?" "Nothing. I just bet you wish your new boyfriend Tad was here." "What? That is crazy!" "Is it? I saw how you were looking at each other when you were getting undressed and in the shower. Tad couldn't keep his eyes off of you. I watched him. And he used to be my best friend. He never even told me he was gay. We never did ANYTHING together!!! But now, I think he wants you, and there is nothing I can do about it." I could see Matt's eyes cloud up, but he jerked his head away before I could see if there were any tears forming. I thought there were. "Matt, I don't like him like that. I don't know if I like anybody enough to be his boyfriend, but if I did, it would be you, not him." Matt jerked his head back so he could look at me. I could see that there were tears in his eyes. "You mean it?" I just smiled at him. "Yeah, I do." I looked around, making sure that there wasn't anybody close that could hear what I was going to say. "Look, Matt, I really like you. I am just confused. I certainly don't like Tad better than I do you. I might even love you. I don't know. Tad and I are just friends, but nothing like us being friends. I know you want us to be boyfriends, but I am just scared of what that means. I just can't tell you that right now. Don't you understand?" Matt just stared at me for a long time. The he finally said, "Can I ask you something?" I could see tears start to form in the corners of his eyes once more. "Sure." He hesitated for a long time. I knew this was going to be hard for him. "We have taken showers with all the other boys for two days now. You know Tad is lots bigger than I am down there, and so is almost everybody else. Does that make a difference to you about me?" "You are kidding?" I blurted out. Matt turned almost the same color I did when Brian and Nate surprised us in the shower. "If that is what is bothering you, no, it makes no difference to me at all. It works, we proved that on Monday. It's big enough to give you pleasure, so what's the big deal? I would be lots more concerned with what is inside my boyfriend than what was outside, anyway." Matt stared at me while he slowly regained his normal color. He finally got a little grin on his face. "You said it." "Huh? I said what?" I asked, confused. "You said boyfriend. Maybe I am finally wearing you down." We just snicked together until we attracted the attention of the teacher in charge of all us misfits, and his glare made us shut up again. "Let's get our homework done so we are finished before we get home. Why don't we go to my house after school?" I asked. "Yeah, that would be a really good idea," Matt answered, as he got his books out. We spent the rest of the time in almost silence, each trying our best to finish our homework so we didn't have to take any books home with us. We had finally finished it all when the teacher told us our sentence for the day was over, and we could all go home. Watch out everybody, the jailbirds were loose again!!! We talked happily on the way home, back to being best friends again. I was glad Matt was back to being his old self. We finally got to my house, and I let us in the front door. We got something to drink and headed to my room. Matt shut the door and then pulled me to him. "Is it all right if I use one of my two remaining kisses?" he asked with a grin on his face. I just grinned back. "Yeah, I think that would be more than all right." Matt kissed me passionately, and I returned it with glee. We finally broke it to come up for air. "Want to get undressed?" Matt asked seductively. "I think that is a great idea," I answered, as I kicked off my shoes. He did the same thing, and clothes started flying everywhere. "Matt, can I ask you a question? You have to promise not to get mad." He looked up at me while he was in the process of taking off his shorts. He had a troubled look on his face, but said, "I guess so." "And you won't get mad at me?" I asked. I was down to nothing but my briefs, and I knew I was taking a chance, but I just had to ask it anyway. "No, I won't get mad. Just ask it, OK?" he answered with a sharp edge to his voice. "Matt, you know I really like you. OK, I love you. God, things like that are so hard for me to say." Matt just grinned at me, happy I had told him I love him. It gave me the courage to go on. "I just don't get it, and I have to ask. Why did you think that the size of your dick would make any difference to me?" I said quickly, with all the words kind of stumbling out of my mouth at one time, like they were all one long word. Matt froze, and I could see that the bulge that was sticking out in front of his briefs was rapidly going back down. He blushed furiously, and started to turn away from me. I grabbed him before he could turn away, and pulled him to me. "Matt, I swear it makes no difference to me at all. That was what I was trying to tell you earlier, I just couldn't tell you everything sitting in class. It's you I love, who you are, what is inside you. Don't you understand that?" "I guess so," he mumbled. I could tell he was close to crying. "Then why would you even think that to begin with? You sure didn't to seem to mind taking a shower the first day with all the other boys. I was the one who was real nervous, not you." He pulled back and looked me in the eyes. "Oh, I was nervous too. I was just being brave for your sake. You had told me that you were worried about taking a shower, and it made me think of last year." "Let's sit down so you can tell me about it, OK?" I asked. "I guess so. It's kind of embarrassing." "You know I'm not going to laugh at you. Come on, sit down next to me." We both sat down on the bed, and he said, "Last year was the first time we ever had to take showers. I was terrified. I knew I was kind of small and I thought everyone was going to stare at me the whole time and make fun of me. But, I guess everyone was kind of scared to start with. Some kids did make fun of me later on, and what they said and called me really hurt. But, I was determined to go in with you the first day, in case anyone said anything to you. See, I love you too." What he said really made me happy. I gave him a big smile and leaned in and kissed him softly on the mouth. "Well, it makes no difference to me. And right now, I think I want to give the little guy a work out. That sound good to you?" He smiled hugely back at me. That sounds great, but I want to do you first. I have something special in mind." "Special, huh? Well, I am all for that. Let's finish undressing." Well, since we both only had on our underwear, obviously that didn't take very long, and we were back in each other's arms within a couple of seconds. We broke yet another kiss, and Matt said, "Lie down on the bed with your head on the pillows. I'll show you what I want you to do." "Fine with me. You're the boss." Matt just grinned at me as I laid down on my back, and he climbed on top of me. We kissed and held each other for a few moments, and I thought that this was going to be a repeat of yesterday. I even wrapped my legs around him like he had done me. "No, Jamie, I want to do all the work this time. Grab hold of the spindles on each side of the headboard behind your head and keep them there until I tell you to get up, OK? And shut your eyes. And keep them shut!! Promise me!!" I didn't know what he had in mind, but it sounded like fun. "Yes, master." I answered, as I did as I was told. "Master. I kind of like the sound of that. I might make you call me that all the time from now on," Matt answered, as he started to softly kiss me all over my face and neck. He kissed my forehead. He kissed both eye lids. He kissed my lips. All the time, he was writhing his body on top of me, making me hotter and hotter. Then he surprised me once more. He started to slowly move lower. He kissed my adam's apple and all down my neck. Then my shoulders, and slowly down my chest. Sometimes, he just licked his way down, which was a new turn on. I was softly moaning as he continued down my body. He spent a long time licking and sucking on each nipple, which was totally new to me, and an instant turn on. I could hear someone moaning loudly at times, but I didn't know where it was coming from. It kind of sounded like me, though. I really wasn't sure. I was lost in all these new feelings. I opened my eyes once, and he immediately said, "I said to keep your eyes shut, slave!!" "Anything you say, master," I answered weakly. But I did shut my eyes. I sure didn't want this to stop. And then he was moving again. Lower!!! God, I was feeling good. Good doesn't describe it. I was feeling the best of any time in my life. He licked down my stomach, and even stuck his tongue into my belly button. Even that felt great. Oh God!!! He is going LOWER!! How low was he going? He is driving me completely crazy!!! He is licking the start of my pubic hair. Is he going to??? Now way he will do that!!!! OH!!!! He just licked the head of my dick. I can't believe it. It felt soooo good!!! OHHHH! Now, he has licked all the way down the underside and is now licking up the front side. I feel like I can shoot at any second. I don't know if I can take any more, but he is going a little bit lower. Oh man, he just took my right ball into his mouth and is swirling it around. I was so hard it was actually hurting. He released my right ball and took the left into his mouth and did the same thing. Someone yelled out loud. Who else was in here with us? I couldn't look to see. My master had commanded that I don't open my eyes, and if I did, he might quit what he was doing. So, I don't dare look to see who else is here. Finally, he released my left ball from his mouth. Was he going lower? No, all of a sudden, he took my whole dick into his mouth and started running his lips up and down on the shaft. That crazy person in the room with Matt and I yelled out once more, and before I knew it, I was shooting like crazy. I saw millions of stars and it wasn't even dark outside. Then all the stars went out and it was totally black. I couldn't see anything for a long time. When I finally woke up, it was still light in my room. Was it still today, or was it tomorrow? I had no idea. All I could see was Matt laying beside me with a huge grin on his face. "So, did you enjoy the ‘special surprise' I had for you?" "Oh, yeah." That was all I could say. I was completely drained. (Ok, that wasn't meant to be a pun!!! - hehehehehe) He just laughed, kissed me on the cheek, and snuggled up against me to allow me to fully recover. And it did take some time. I was really out of it!!! When I had all of my senses back, or at least the ones I still had control over after that mind blowing orgasm, I pulled Matt to me and kissed him hard on the mouth. "That was incredible. Thanks." "No prob. I told you I love you, remember? This is how I wanted to show you how much I love you. There is one thing I would like in return, though," he said, with a big smile on his face. "Really, what is it?" I asked, as I smiled back at him. "I want you to do the same thing for me." The look on my face when he said that told the whole story. I stared, but not at Matt. I stared out into space. I couldn't even answer him. He stared at me for a long time. Neither of us spoke. Then he silently broke our hug and sat up. I was still too stunned to say anything. I couldn't do that to him. That would also make me totally gay, and I wasn't like that. Sure, I had really enjoyed what he had done for me, but that was his choice. I really didn't have anything to do with the decision, right? Yeah, I had gone along with him, but I was surprised with everything he did. I didn't actively take part. He did it all. I knew he was gay, but this didn't make me gay. Right? RIGHT???? RRRIIIGGGHHHTTT?????????? By the time I had finally got out of my stupor as I wrestled with my mind, Matt was fully dressed and was sitting on the edge of the bed, putting on his shoes and socks. "Matt, don't go. I am just having a hard time deciding what I can do and what I can't." He didn't say anything until he finished tying his last shoe. Then, he stood up and looked at me. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. "I understand. I understand totally. JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU UNDERSTAND??? FUCK YOU!!!! JUST GO TO HELL!!! I HATE YOU!!!! FUCK YOU!!! JUST GO BACK TO TAD, YOU LOVE HIM, NOT ME!!!" And then he ran out of my room. To be continued. Comments are appreciated and always answered. Comments can be sent to fsw99@mindspring.com and are forwarded to a group e-mail account so all the guys can read them too.