Date: Mon, 12 Mar 2001 16:01:26 -0500 From: fsw99 Subject: Chapter 8 of Dear Diary Legal Notice: The following story contains descriptions of graphic sexual acts. The story is a work of fiction and has no basis in reality. Don't read this story if: **You're not 18 or over, **If it is illegal to read this type of material where you live, **Or if you don't want to read about gay/bi people in love or having sex. The author retains copyright to this story. Placing this story on a website or reproducing this story for distribution without the author's permission is a violation of that copyright. Legal action will be taken against violators. E-mail responses to the stories, story suggestions or other 'constructive' comments or advice may be sent to: fsw99@mindspring.com. All e-mails will be answered. DEAR DIARY By Stan Chapter Eight I really felt better as we continued to walk to school. Brian still had his arm around me and I knew I had four really good friends. I hoped it would be five. Really hoped!!! Nate finally started talking about Dave and him again. "I was in my room one day. Dave was supposed to be at baseball practice. The field was too muddy after a big rain storm, and he came back way too early. I was on my bed with the door wide open. Very stupid!!! But, I thought I would have the house to myself for a long time. I had my favorite CD playing, "Boston". "Yeah, it wasn't just playing, the house was vibrating along with the music. It wasn't hard to figure out where you were," Dave answered. "Hehehe Ok, so I like my music a little loud. That is the way they record it, you know? I don't remember why I was so horny, but I was. I had taken off all my clothes. I guess I was 13 or 14, and Dave was 10 or 11." "I had just turned 11." "OK, 11, who cares? Anyway, I was jerking off very slowly and enjoying the music. I see a little bit of motion out of the corner of my eye, and my little brother is almost standing next to me, with his jaw about to his belt." "Well, what would anyone think if you walk by your big brother's room with his music about to knock down the walls, and you see him naked on his bed, pulling on a huge dick to the music? That isn't exactly something you see every day. His strokes up and down were matching the beat to the song. Kind of beat off to the beat. Hehehehe" "Yeah, kind of brings new meaning to `More Than A Feeling`, doesn't it? I think that was what was playing. Anyway, I jump up, turn off the music, and scream at Dave for coming into my room without my permission. That was our parent's rule. I can see his eyes aren't exactly on my face, and I am caught. So, what is the best way out of this?" Nate asks. "Time for a little `birds and the bees` talk with your little bro?" Brian laughed. "Well, it wasn't like I had much choice. I couldn't take the chance that he would tell Mom and Dad. So, the best thing I could think off is to explain and see if I could get him to do it, too. I was hoping he didn't know about it, and he didn't." "No, I didn't have a clue what you were doing," Dave answered honestly. "And it was a pain telling you. I explained, and then told you I would show you how, but you had to get completely undressed. You remember what happened next?" Dave just laughed. "We had always had separate bedrooms. Sure, we slept in the same bed when we were on vacation or at relative's houses, and we had seen each other in our underwear a bunch of times, but never even close to being naked. I was even wearing his old underwear right then that Nate had outgrown. But, I said no way, and tried to run out of the room." "Yeah, but I caught him. I was three years older, so it wasn't hard to strip him. He did fight, though. He fought like a tiger. And he yelled, at least until I grabbed him by the balls once I got his blue jeans down around his knees and told him I would hurt him bad unless he quit fighting." "I had just started puberty, and my balls had dropped. Once he had them in his hand and was squeezing, I didn't have a choice. Cheating son of a bitch!!!" Everyone laughed as Nate continued. "I had taken off his shoes and socks first. That had been easy. I had grabbed his feet and bent his legs back over his shoulders. He was hurting, so I let up if he would let me undo his belt and jeans. He said he would, but once I tried to take off his jeans, he started fighting once again. And screaming. That's when I pulled down his jeans and grabbed his balls." "Yeah, real fair fight. You are 14, I am 11. You were really the big man, weren't you?" Nate kind of blushed at this, but said, "Well, what other choice did I have? You were always telling our ‘rents about something I had done to get me into trouble. I sure couldn't afford to let you tell them what you had caught me doing. I SURE didn't want to have that conversation with either of them!!!" "Hehehehe That's true. Go on." "Anyway, I think I actually had your jeans and underwear off before I finally took off your t-shirt. I think I had to jack you a little bit, until you became hard, and then you didn't care any more. We had seen each other without shirts so many times in the summer, you wanted to be naked just like I was, at that point. What was me taking off your shirt?" "Yeah, you're right," Dave giggled. "I do remember that I had to do it for you a little bit to start with, and then we laid side by side on my bed and each jerked off together." "Yeah, and I couldn't finish, cause I didn't understand what was happening." Nate kind of blushed once again. "Yeah, once I was finished, you kind of went down after I shot all over the place. I think that kind of surprised you, and you lost your focus. Then, you said you didn't want to do it anymore." "Yeah. I was really confused. That was kind of eye opening, you know?" "Yeah, I understand, but I made you lie back down and started slowly. You remember?" "Yeah. I had gone down totally soft. I was really embarrassed for you to see me like that. You started rubbing my chest, and telling me to relax. You played with my nipples for a long time. They got really hard, and stuck up. Then, you started pinching them. It kind of hurt to start with, and I told you to stop, but you just said wait for a few minutes. You were right. It started feeling real good, really fast. And my dick started to get hard at the same time. Then, you used one hand on my nipples and one hand on my dick, gently sliding up and down with the hand cream. That felt awesome, and I was hard in no time." "No shit!!! Once I started running my fingers up and down his dick this time, he was humping like he had been doing this forever. Must be in the blood!! Hehehehe Anyway, he writhed back and forth on the bed until he had his first dry cum. But, he yelled out louder than he had when I was taking off his clothes." "It was awesome. I can still remember that first time. It was like I had finally ended my childhood and was now a young adult." "Well, it wasn't like that for me. I didn't know if I had done the right thing or not." "You did. You did what older brothers are supposed to do for the younger brothers." Dave came up and hugged Nate with one arm, and kissed him on the cheek. "Don't do that where anyone can see you, idiot!!" "Sorry. No one can see us, anyway. I could always say that Bruce dared me to do it." "Yeah, we could always say it is a joke if anyone saw us. We all know we have to keep away from each other whenever we are out in public," Bruce said. My head was swimming with new information. "Why?" I asked. "Why? That's a stupid question! Because of what could happen if we let anyone know we are gay," Bruce answered. "I'm sorry. I am so new at this. What could happen?" I asked. "Jamie, let me tell you a story about another kid that went to school here. He told his best friend he was gay. His `best friend` told everyone else, and didn't want to have anything else to do with him. Everyone else started picking on him, and after a few months, he committed suicide," Brian said. "Man, that sucks!" "Yeah, you're right about that! But that just shows that you have to be careful who you tell. If one wrong person found out about all of us, all of our lives could be Hell from here on. That is why we are so close. We know we won't tell on each other, and that is also why we are so hesitant to let anyone else in to our inner circle. That's kind of a stupid name, isn't it? `Inner Circle`?" I thought about it for a second, and said, "No, I think it fits perfectly." Everyone just grinned at me. "We all talked it over after Matt first told Bruce and I that he wanted you as his boyfriend. I talked to Nate on the phone and Bruce talked to Dave. We all agreed that if Matt wanted you this bad, we would agree." "Huh? I don't understand." "Don't you see what you could do to us, now that you know that Nate and I love each other and so do Bruce and Dave? If you get mad at Matt and tell anyone at school about all of us, you could ruin all of our lives." I was offended. "I'll never do that!" "We don't think you will either. That is why your final initiation will be this weekend. We all want you as our new brother. See, we don't think of ourselves as two families. We think of ourselves as one. One Big Happy Family!!!! Does that make sense?" Brian asked. (Not that I try to link all my previous stories with my new ones!!! - hehehehehe) I had to smile. It did make sense. 6 Musketeers! All for one and one for all!! I finally understood!!! "Yeah. I will never let you down!" Brian just smiled. "We would all hug you right now, but this isn't exactly the place, you know? Just know that all four of you owe you a big hug, and each will get it later." I smiled back. That will be fine with me." "You feel better now about Matt?" Nate asked. "Yeah, I do, thanks to all of you. I think I understand what I am going to do now. Don't ask me, cause I won't tell you." "Oh, it's a big secret, is it?" Brian teased. I just laughed. "I just don't want to talk about it right now. I don't mind you finding out later, just not before it happens. I don't even know if my plan will work. Matt is pretty mad at me to come to school early just so he doesn't have to see me." "So he didn't have any homework to finish. I didn't think so. Of all three of us, Matt never forgets his homework," Brian said. "Yeah, it's kind of disgusting, you know?" Bruce kidded. "Yeah, where did we go wrong with the middle brother?" Brian kidded back. We were all laughing as we finally crossed the street to our school and split up. I immediately started looking around for Matt. I walked around until it was almost time for home room to start and decided to head to our classroom. At least he would have to show up there. I walked in a there he was, sitting in the first row, already surrounded by other people. He didn't even look up as I walked in. I just walked over to where we usually sat together and sat down, staring at him. I knew that he knew I was in here, but he wouldn't even acknowledge my presence. And it the same thing the rest of the day. He was doing his best to avoid me, and he was doing a good job of it. He didn't even come in the lunch room during lunch. He must have brought something from home or didn't eat at all. I was getting very worried that he might not forgive me this time. He couldn't avoid me during gym, because we dressed right next to each other. I walked over to where he was getting changed, and said, "Hi Matt. We need to talk." "Not here. We can talk in prison after school." I started to laugh about the `prison` comment, but decided not to. I just sat down near him and started getting ready for gym. He finished dressing before I did and got up and left without another word. When gym was finished, he was the first person out of the gym and back to take his shower. He was almost finished by the time Tad and I undressed and got under the shower head. Within seconds, he turned off his water and headed back to get dried off and dressed. "What's up with Matt?" Tad asked. "It's a long story. He is really mad at me this time." "Oh. Sorry. Is there anything I can do?" Tad asked. "No. Thanks anyway. We have to work this out ourselves. He said we could talk during our hour in prison after school." "Prison, huh? Yeah, that describes it pretty well. I had to do two weeks last year, so I know what you mean?" "Your Dad made you do two weeks of detention?" "Yeah, I got into a fight after school. You know how he is about fighting. If anything, I think he went harder on me than he would have with anyone else." "That kind of sucks," I replied, as I tucked in my shirt into my pants and fastened them. "Yeah, but actually, it kind of helped. Some people weren't very friendly to me because I was the principal's son, and once they saw he would give me the same punishment as anyone else, they became friendlier." I just laughed. "Yeah, I guess I can understand that." "Well, let me know if I can do anything about you and Matt." "Ok, thanks. See you later," I answered, as I headed for my next class. The rest of the day was finally over, and Matt and I headed for the cafeteria to get our last hour over with. `Prison` was a good name for it, I thought. Matt was already sitting at the same table, so I walked over and sat down next to him. Again, he didn't even acknowledge my presence. "Don't you think that it is time we made up?" Matt finally looked up at me. "What do you mean?" "You know, being mad at me," I answered. "I'm not mad at you. I either just rushed you, like Brian said, or I misjudged you. I haven't decided which yet. All I am doing is giving you some time to think," he replied. "Think about what? I just thought you were mad at me." "Look, if you don't even know what you need to think about, then I think I am leaning towards misjudged." "Huh? What does that mean?" "Think about it. Maybe you will figure it out. Let's do our homework. I think Mr. Stephens is getting tired of us talking." We both got out our books and started our homework. I guess if you have to be in `prison`, this was the best way to use the time. Both of us had finished everything but a reading assignment for later on in the week when the hour was mercifully over. We walked out of the cafeteria and were outside quickly. We walked a little while without speaking. "Matt, let's go over to my house. We have to talk about this." "Jamie, I really don't want to talk right now, OK? I just have a lot of things on my mind." "Well, will you at least come over to my house?" He finally looked up at me. "Look, if you are thinking that what happened yesterday is going to happen again, you can forget it." That kind of shocked me. "I wasn't thinking about anything like that at all. I just thought we could hang out together. Maybe play some games on the Play Station." Matt snicked a little at that remark. "Just hang out like best friends, huh?" "Yeah," I answered honestly. We had gotten to the point where we would go straight to my house or left to Matt's. "You really don't get it, do you?" "What do you mean?" "I don't want to be your best friend. I love you. I want to be your boyfriend. If I can't have that, being your best friend would hurt lots more than losing you completely. I would be wishing for more everyday I was with you. It would just hurt too badly. I can't do that. I just can't," Matt answered, as he turned away from me and ran for home. To be continued. Comments are appreciated and always answered. Comments can be sent to fsw99@mindspring.com and are forwarded to a group e-mail account so all the guys can read them too.