Chapter One: My Guardian Angel
Soon it would be over. One more step, a few seconds of free fall, then the impact. I probably wouldn't even feel it, I would lose consciousness before I hit the ground. One more step, and the pain would be over. Forever. Eternal peace. Finally!
Oh, maybe I should be polite and introduce myself before I step over the edge!
My name is Jeffrey O'Connor, but my friends call me Jeff. At least the few friends I have. Ah, why do I try to fool myself? Actually I have no real friends at all. Sigh! But that's another story. No, it is part of this story, because this is the story of my life. It will be a short story though, both my life and the story will be over soon.
Ok, back to the introduction. As I said, my name is Jeff, and I'm 14 years old. My fourteenth birthday was just three weeks ago. Usually this is a big day for a teenager, a big party with all your friends, many presents, hugs, kisses, and lots of fun ... you know what I mean? But my birthday was one of the saddest days of my life.
Well, I think I have to start a bit earlier to make you understand my
I live in the desert. A small, godforsaken town in Arizona. Surrounded by sand, dust, cactuses and coyotes.
My grandparents were immigrants from Ireland, and you can still see my roots when you look at me. I have fire red hair! It's cut pretty short, and I actually like it how it is. But nevertheless it looks different. Maybe that's one reason why I've always been the guy who gets pushed around from the other kids.
In every town, on every school there's at least one poor kid who gets treated like shit. Well, in my town, on my school, I was this kid. I never gave anyone a reason to hate me, but obviously they do it anyhow. I am the favorite target of the bullies. They knock my tray out of my hands in the cafeteria, and sometimes they knock me down in the stuff I wanted to eat. They knock my books out of my hands in the corridor. They push me in the dust. Plain and simple, they treat me like shit!
You ask why? Oh, if only I knew! There is no reason!
I am just an average kid. I look ok, I'm neither dead ugly nor an adonis.
I am a good student, not a nerd, but no brainless idiot either.
I am like most of the other kids of my age, not better and not worse.
And nevertheless they picked me as their target.
And at home? My family? Forget it!
My parents are divorced, but they live together again - for the forth time now!
They fight every day. They yell at each other. I think my old man will move out soon - again. And in a few weeks he will be back and all the trouble starts from the scratch.
He drinks! Every night! Then he's dangerous and drunk and defeated and
corroded by failure and envy and hate!
She isn't much better. She doesn't drink, but she cares a shit about me. She only cares about herself!
On my birthday, she promised me to make a cake for me. With strawberries
and cream. My favorite!
But in the end, the cake landed on the floor when she threw it at my dad after he had thrown an empty whisky bottle at her. Actually I hadn't expected anything else.
Just as I didn't expect to get any presents. 'We cannot afford it Jeffrey!' That's what I hear all the time. I only wonder why they can afford to buy beer and whisky. Or a new dress every two weeks. But that's 'none of your business'. Another one of their favorites.
Oh, one more thing which makes my whole life even more miserable. I am gay! Yes, I like other boys. I know this since I was about 8 years old. I am not out to anybody, not at all, because there's nobody I could trust enough to tell him or her. But it wouldn't matter if everybody knew my secret. My life couldn't be worse.
Maybe you can understand me a bit now!
So I was standing here, on top of the rocks, looking down in the steep abyss. It wasn't the first time I was up here. This place was so beautiful, so peaceful. Just the perfect place to die! And today was a good day to die!
I stood at the very edge now, and my toes were already over the edge. Some pebbles rolled down and caused a little dusty avalanche. I felt like I could hear every single stone hitting the hard ground a few hundred feet below. Somehow my hearing had been sharpened in the last few minutes of my life.
I closed my eyes, spread my arms like an eagle spreads his wings, took one last deep breath ... but I couldn't do it. I felt the presence of another person. So I opened my eyes again and looked around. And in fact, I wasn't alone anymore. On a ledge a bit to the right and a bit below sat a boy. I jumped in surprise when I saw him, fortunately back and not forward.
He was about my age, and he probably was an Indian boy. This was Hopi territory, and he definitely looked like an Indian. Long black hair, a dark tan ... and dark eyes watching me. What the hell was he doing there? Why was he watching me? How did he get to that ledge without me noticing it?
Damn, I could not do it while he was watching. I could not kill myself as long as he was sitting there. No way! I wanted to be alone under the blue sky. I wanted to shout at him, wanted to tell him to fuck off and leave me alone, but I couldn't do it. It would have destroyed the peace and silence of this place. And after all, this was his country, not mine. He had every right to be here.
I sighed. It looked like I would have to spend some more time in this world. But I wouldn't give up. Tomorrow would be another day, another chance for me. I walked back to the other side of the hill and climbed down the path. On my way home, I had to think of this boy all the time. I hadn't see him that good, the sun had been dazzling me. But he sure had been beautiful.
It came to my mind that this boy had just saved my life. I wasn't sure if he knew or guessed what I wanted to do, but that didn't matter. He had saved my life! Should I thank him? Or should I curse him? Suddenly I wasn't sure at all anymore. There had been something in his face, his eyes ... my vision had been blurred, but I'm pretty sure that he had smiled at me. Not a faked smile or a pity smile, but a true and friendly smile.
I was confused! Some minutes ago I wanted to die, and now I was thinking about an Indian boy who I had never seen before and probably would never see again. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I only realized that I was at home when I heard the shouting of my parents.
Without even trying to say hello to them I walked straight into my small room and locked the door behind me. I stripped down to my boxers, fell on the bed and silently cried in my pillow, like I had done so many times before. I wrapped my arms around myself, just as if someone was holding me tight, and with tears running down my cheeks I finally drifted to dreamscape.
That night I had some pretty weird dreams. Dreams of Indians and a shaman, dreams of bears and eagles and wolves. And dreams of this mysterious boy on the rocks. My dreams must have been pretty intense, because I woke up with a huge morning hardon and wet boxers.
There were only a few more day until summer break, and I decided to go to school. I was actually in a pretty good mood this morning, and for the first time for many days my first thought had not been 'I wish I were dead'.
I went in the bathroom and took a shower. My cock was still hard, and without thinking I started to stroke it. I always liked to jerk off in the shower. I am circumcised, and with the water running over my cock it's a much better feeling. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine that it was not my own hand which was wanking me, but the hand of another boy. And suddenly the image of this Indian boy was back in my head.
This vision was so vivid that it only took a few moments before I shot my load against the wall of the shower. Wow, this orgasm was so intense! I was trembling, I almost sat down on my butt. Why couldn't I get him out of my mind? Anyway, those were my first happy thoughts for many weeks, and I should try to hold on them as long as possible!
When I stepped out of the shower, I looked at the reflection of my naked body in the mirror. I told you earlier that I looked ok. Well, what I saw now looked better than just ok. Actually I had a pretty nice body. I was about 5'8'' tall, slim, but not meager. There were even some muscles on my chest with the small pink nipples. And if I did some crunches or sit-ups, I could probably get a nice six-pack.
My eyes were green. I had red pubic hair, and I found that this looked quite cute. The rest of my body was hairless and smooth. Now that I thought about it, I was quite a cutie. The girls should be chasing me. But they just laughed about me when I was kneeling in the hallway again, collecting my books. Life isn't fair!
Anyway, I was already late, so I quickly got dressed, had some cereals and ran to school. I was in pretty high spirits today, and I wasn't even sure why. Should it be only because of this young Indian? Yesterday I wanted to die. I had been only a few inches away from the end. Then this boy appears on the scene and suddenly life seems worth to be lived. Well, maybe my life really wasn't so bad at all. And who knows, perhaps things would change after the summer break.
The morning classes were pretty uneventful, but soon I was roughly brought back to reality. I had just taken the tray with my lunch in the cafeteria when I was suddenly cornered by three other guys.
"Hey sucker," the leader of the bullies said, "why are you grinning so stupidly?"
"Listen," I replied, "I don't want any trouble with you, so would you please let me go?"
"Trouble? Oh no, we just want to be polite and help you eat your lunch!"
And he took some of my mashed potatoes and smeared them across my face. >From one second to another, my mood was completely down again. Usually I would have just endured the humiliation silently, but today was different. Maybe it was because they had destroyed my good mood, or maybe it was finally too much.
Whatever, this time I reacted. I smashed my tray in the face of the bully, spreading the food all over his face and clothes. The whole cafeteria went quiet in a second, and dozens of wide opened eyes looked at us. I froze for a second, but then I ran. I stormed out of the cafeteria and ran down the hallway. Behind me I could hear the angry voice of the guy whose clothes I had just ruined.
They were on my heels, I could almost feel their hot breath in my neck. A teacher was yelling at us to stop running in the corridors, but of course I did not care about him. For a moment it even looked like I could escape, I only had to run around one more corner and out of the door. But when I ran around that last corner, I bumped into another kid and landed hard on the floor.
A second later they were all over me, and I had no chance to escape anymore. Instinctively I protected my head with my arms and rolled in a fetal position. The leader of the guys started to pummel me while his two friends stood guard for him. Other students walked by, but none of them stopped, let alone tried to help me. When he finally thought that I had enough, the guy stood up, spit on me and gave me a hard kick in the balls.
Stars exploded in my head, but I did not cry. I did not want to give them that satisfaction. At last they left me lying in my pain and walked away, laughing all the time. It took a few minutes until I was able to get up, and even now nobody wanted to help me. They did not even ask if I was ok.
I had enough for today. Hell, I had enough for the rest of my life! My spirits were in the deepest pit again, and my only thought was 'I want out'. And not only out of the school, but out of this life. I should have brought it to an end the day before!
My whole body was hurting. Fortunately he did not hit my head, thus I had no cut on the eyebrow or a bleeding nose. But tomorrow my body would probably be covered with multicolored bruises. Tomorrow? Would there be a tomorrow for me at all? Why should I go on living this miserable life?
I left the school building and walked out of the gate, heading to the center of the town. I crossed a little park, and when I came to the main street, I had to stop at a red traffic light. From the left I heard the sound of a truck. You know, one of those huge vehicles which cross the country from north to south and from east to west, driving on the Route 66 or on Highway No.1 and all the other big highways. They often drove through our town, because we had a good truck stop here where they made great cheeseburgers.
You had to be careful when you crossed the street, because those heavy trucks had quite a long breaking distance. And if you got hit by one, it would smash your body ... smash your head ... kill you. Suddenly I knew what I would do! I would wait till this black and red truck would be close to me, then I would just step on the street. The truck driver would have no chance to stop.
The truck came closer and closer. I could already see his radiator mascot. It was a silver dragon. I would be smashed by a dragon!
Only a few more seconds ... be patient Jeff ... wait ... wait ... wait ... and now ...
I just wanted to make the ultimate step when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I spun around and looked into a pair of black eyes. I recognized him at once. It was nobody else than the Indian boy I had seen yesterday!
"Wow, dude, are you dreaming?" the boy said. "This truck had almost ... oh, it's you!"
"You ... know me?" I stuttered. My heart was racing.
"Well, actually yes. You are the boy I saw on the rocks yesterday. It almost looked like you wanted to ... Oh! Wait a minute! Now I see clearer! Did you try to ... I mean ... "
Now I could not hold it back anymore. I sobbed a few times, and then I started to cry out loud on the middle of the street. The boy hesitated for a moment, and then he put an arm around my waist and led me to a bench in the park. We sat down and he pulled my head on his chest, letting me cry for a while. Eventually my sobbing stopped and I was able to speak again.
"I'm ... I'm sorry dude!" I said. "I did not want to ... I mean ... you know, to cry and stuff."
"That's ok, there's nothing wrong with crying!" he replied.
"I know. It was just too much for me."
"So did you want to do what I think? Did you want to kill yourself?"
"Well, actually, yes!" I admitted.
"But why? Why should a guy like you throw away his life? The most precious thing we have?"
"That's a long story!"
"I have time, if you want to tell it! Oh, by the way, my name is Tom. Tom White-Wolf."
"Hi Tom, I'm Jeffrey O'Connor, but you can call me Jeff!" I said and we shook hands.
Now I had the chance to have a better look at him. We were sitting, but I could tell that he was a bit smaller than me, but a bit more muscular and with broader shoulders. He had shoulder long black hair which was held back by a leather headband. His eyes were black, and his skin was like copper and tanned by the desert sun. This boy was gorgeous!
He was wearing an open sleeveless leather jacket with nothing underneath, and some tight leather shorts. On his feet he had some dusty sandals, and around his neck he had some leather strings with silver symbols.
"Hey Jeff, nice to meet you!" Tom said. "Well, I just wanted to go home. You know, I live in the small Indian village in the Hopi reservation. What do you think, do you want to come with me? It's quite a walk, so you would have time to tell me your story if you want to. We could stop at your house and you could ask your parents!"
"Thank you for the invitation Tom!" I replied and smiled. "Yeah, it would be nice to come with you. Don't worry about my parents though, they won't even notice that I'm not home!"
So we walked out of town together, through the desert and into the Indian reservation. While we walked, I noticed that he was not wearing any underwear. I could clearly see the outlines of his buttocks under the tight leather shorts, and when I had a quick look at his crotch, I could see the outlines of his dick and balls. Oh my, my eyes almost fell out of my head, but either Tom did not notice my stares or he did not mind.
On our way, I told Tom the story of my life. I don't know why, but I just trusted this boy. I trusted him like I had never before trusted anybody in my life. It just felt right to tell him everything. And Tom just listened to me. He did not interrupt me, he did not ask questions, he just let me talk.
"Well," I said when I had almost finished, "that's it. Now you know why I did not want to live anymore. If you had not been there, I would be dead now. You saved my life, not just once, but twice! I could not jump from those rocks while you were watching me, and you held me back before I could run under that truck. It looks like you are my guardian angel, Mr. White Wolf!"
"Then my life belongs to you now!" Tom said.
"Huh? I don't know what you mean! It's the other way round. YOU saved ME, thus I owe YOU something!"
"No no no! I know it sounds strange, but we believe that if you save the life of a person, you become responsible for this person, and your own life belongs to this person. So maybe it was not just luck that I was at the right time at the right place today. Maybe it was my fate!"
I gave him a strange look. I had never understood the Indian philosophies. But I had no time to think about it anymore, for we had reached the small Indian village, or pueblo, or whatever they call it. It was not really a traditional village, you know, like those holes in the rocks. It were just some simple houses, mostly built of wood.
Tom waved to some other Indians and spoke to them in a language I did not understand. Then he led me into one of the small houses. Surprisingly the house looked better from the inside than from the outside. There was some Indian artwork on the walls, like carpets or blankets with strange patterns, some furs and many wooden animals and feathers and stuff like that.
"C'mon, let's go to my room!" Tom said.
Wow, he even had his own room in this small house. I would not have expected that. I had always thought that the Indians in those reservations lived in caves, or at least with a huge family in one small room. But this was actually quite a nice place, really cozy.
On the bed he had a big fur, and I could imagine that it would be very nice to sleep there. Even nicer if I could cuddle with that cute Indian boy. But that would probably never happen. Soon it would be time for me to go home again, and even if I could stay over night, he would not want to sleep together with me in that small bed.
The room looked almost like many other rooms of teenage boys, but one thing was different. There was no TV or computer or video game or stereo or something like that in this room.
"Uh, Tom, may I ask you a question?" I asked.
"Sure, anytime!" he replied.
"Don't you have electricity here? I mean, you I don't see any electric appliance here."
"Hahaha, yes we do have electricity in the house. And we even have a small TV in the living room. We don't use as much of those modern things out here as you do in the city, but we don't live on the moon! Hey, we even have running water, so you don't have to use a watering can if you want to take a shower. Speaking of which, do you want to take a shower? I think I need one after this walk through the dust!"
Yeah, now that he mentioned it I realized that I was pretty dusty and soaked with sweat. But then it came to my mind that I had no clothes to change with me.
"Well, thanks for the offer dude," I said, "but maybe I should better go back home now. I don't want to walk through the desert in the dark. And besides, I have no fresh clothes with me. But it was nice to come out here with you!"
I just wanted to turn around and leave the room when Tom held me back.
"Hey, you won't go anywhere now! I won't let you walk all the way back again. When I told you that you can come with me, I meant that you can stay here for a while. You can have some of my clothes, I'm sure we'll find something which fits you. And if you worry about your parents, there is a public phone on our main square, you can call home from there!"
Did I worry about my parents? Hell no, not at all! They probably wouldn't even notice that I was not home. And even if they did, maybe it would be a healthy shock for them. So actually there was no reason why I should not stay here. Tom was the first guy who had been nice to me, even if he did not know me at all. Well, he knew pretty much about me now, and he still was nice to me. And besides, it felt really good to be together with this cute boy. His mere presence made me feel good. His eyes, his smile, his smooth chest, his tight pants ... yes, I had never felt that good before. So I decided to accept his invitation and stay around for a while.
"Ok ok," I said, "if your folks don't mind, I'll stay, at least until tomorrow. Thank you!"
"You're welcome! And don't worry about my family. My parents are both working, they will be home late. They won't mind that I have a friend staying over. On the contrary. You know, I don't know many people outside the reservation, since I don't go to your highschool but to an Indian school. In fact, you're my first white friend. That means, if you want to be my friend!"
"Oh yes, sure I want! It feels good to have a friend!"
Tom grinned and gave me a big hug. Oh my, I was almost fainting. He hugged my so tight that I could feel every muscle of his chest on my own, and above all I could feel his cock pressing against my side. I had to try hard not to pop a boner at once, but before this could happen he stepped back again.
"Well, I don't know about you, but I really need a shower now!" Tom said and started to undress.
I had been correct, Tom really did not wear any underwear. A second later he was completely naked, and I could not help but stare at his body again. My new Indian friend was so gorgeous, I could hardly believe it! He had the cutest bubble butt I had ever seen (not that I had seen many naked butts before). And he was uncircumcised! He had this extra skin around the head of his cock! I had heard about it, but it was the first time I actually saw a foreskin!
"Eh, what's up Jeff? Never saw a naked guy?" Tom asked and grinned.
Oops, he had caught me staring at his cock! I blushed in the deepest shade of red, and I only hoped that he did not notice the huge tent in my pants.
"I'm ... I'm sorry Tom!" I stuttered. "I did not want to ... I mean ... it's just ... well, I never saw an uncut dick!"
"Aw, no problem Jeff!" Tom laughed. "I'm not shy, you can look as long as you want! Ok, I jump in the shower now, and you can have yours in a few minutes. Make yourself comfortable in the meantime!"
Tom left the room, still smiling, and a few moments later I heard the water running. I wondered if he liked jerking off under the shower as much as I did. I was sure that there was no difference between Indian boy and white boys. Boys are boys, they are all horny, and they all jerk off! Maybe he was doing it right now. Darn, this thought didn't help me to relax, on the contrary. The bulge on my crotch was even growing.
I sat down on Tom's bed and lay back. I closed my eyes and thought about the last 24 hours of my life. I had been close to death twice, and I had been saved by the same guy both times. My mood had been down, then up, then down, and now my spirits were as high as never before.
I unbuttoned my shorts and let my hand slip in my boxers. They were wet, soaked with my precum, and my cock was hard as a rock. Tenderly I rubbed up and down the shaft, oozing even more precum. Stop it, I said to myself! Tom could come back every moment, and I did not want him to enter the room when I was shooting my load. So I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. I felt how the blood slowly left my dick, and when Tom came back, I was completely soft again.
But only for a second, because my Indian friend was still naked. Moreover, his own cock was semi erect, and the pink head was peeking through the foreskin. If only he knew what he was doing to me! I already felt the blood rushing back in my cock, so I quickly stood up and wanted to go to the shower. But I had forgotten that my shorts were still unbuttoned, and now they were sliding down to my knees and I would have fallen flat on my belly if Tom had not caught me.
"Wow, dude, slow down." he laughed.
Now I was down on one knee, my face at one height with his beautiful cock. It almost jumped in my mouth, and if I would have stuck out my tongue, I could have reached his head. Tom pulled me on my feet again, and his balls were jumping up and down while he was laughing.
"There's a fresh towel for you in the bathroom!" Tom said. "Oh, and there won't be any hot water, so don't be shocked because of the temperature. But I think a cold shower is better anyway when it's that hot outside. Enjoy your shower! In the meantime I'll look for some clothes for you!"
I stepped out of my shorts and took off my shirt, but I would not take off my boxers in front of him. Not as long as I was that hard. Well, it was pretty obvious that I had a boner, but nevertheless. I hurried to get out of Tom's room and into the tiny bathroom. I wanted to lock the door, but there was no lock. So I just closed it, pulled my boxers down and stepped under the water.
Tom had been right, the water was pretty cold, but that was ok. Above all it helped me to get soft again pretty quick. I wondered how Tom's dick could have been semi hard after such a cold shower. Maybe he had had some nice thoughts. Maybe even about me. Nah, sure not! He was a friend, but not more. He surely was not gay. That reminded me, I had not told him that I was gay! But I should tell him soon, he deserved to know the truth. And I hoped that he still wanted to be my friend after he heard those news.
I soaped my body and washed away all the dust and sweat. Then I just stood there, let the water run down my body, and thought about nothing in general. I must have stood there for quite a while, for suddenly the bathroom door was opened and Tom came in.
"Hey Jeff, did you fall asleep?" he asked. "C'mon, get out of there, I made us some sandwiches. I'm sure you're hungry. Oh, and here are some clothes for you. Now come out, I'll help you to get dry!"
Now I could only hope that the effect of the cold water would hold on for a while, at least until I was wearing some pants again. I turned off the water and pulled back the shower curtain. Tom was holding the towel for me, and as soon as I was wrapped in it, he started to rub my back. He was wearing some leather shorts again, but that was all. No shirt covered his beautiful chest.
When I was dry, he showed me the clothes he had found for me. Leather shorts like his own (obviously he had lots of them), and a plain black shirt.
"I think they should fit you!" he said. "I don't have any underwear for you, coz I usually don't wear any."
"That's ok," I said, "I can put on my boxers again. Thanks for the other stuff!"
"Hey, you should try to wear those shorts on your naked skin!" Tom said and winked. "It feels good, believe me!"
I hesitated for a second, but then I did what he had suggested. And he was right, the feeling of the cool leather on my naked buttocks was not bad at all. On the contrary! Hey, I could get used to that! Tom looked at me, grinned and put his thumb up. I put on the shirt and we went in the living room to eat the sandwiches and drink some cold coke. Tom turned on the old TV, and for a while we just ate in silence.
Somehow I really felt welcome here. More than that, I almost felt at
We sat there for quite a while, watched some soap operas and chit chatted about this and that, until I eventually started to yawn. It had been a pretty eventful day, and I realized that I was very tired.
"You took the words right out of my mouth dude!" Tom said. "I'm tired too, let's go to bed!"
I just nodded. Tom turned off the TV and we took our plates and glasses to the kitchen before we went back to Tom's room. I still wasn't sure where I should sleep, for his bed was not made for two people. Tom must have guessed my thoughts, but he just smiled.
"Well, we have to move close, but there will be enough space for the two of us." he said. "Don't worry, I won't let you fall out of the bed!"
In the meantime Tom had taken off his shorts and slipped under the fur. Naked! He would sleep naked! Well, what should I do, I could not stay standing in the middle of the room all night long, so I undressed too and joined Tom in the bed. It was really cozy under this fur, soft and not scratchy at all.
I made myself comfortable and closed my eyes. I was sure that I would sleep well tonight, not only because there was a dreamcatcher hanging over the bed.
"Good night Jeff!" Tom murmured and hugged me from behind.
He put his hand on my chest and snuggled close to me from behind. I could feel his soft and warm skin, and immediately my little friend jumped to attention again. I could only hope that Tom would not notice my excitement.
"Night Tom!" I replied. "Sleep well."
But he didn't hear me anymore, he had already fallen asleep. His hand was still resting on my chest, and I could feel his warm breath in my neck. And with a smile on my face I entered the dreamscape.
Ok, this was the first chapter of my new series!
I hope you had fun reading it, because I had fun writing it!