Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2006 00:17:21 -0400 From: Dwedno Smith Subject: Chapter 2 of Dreams Chapter 2. Dealing with Josh and more... I got dressed after the shower. We didn't do anything sexual in there other then touch each other a few times while we washed one another but I was too spent to even get super hard again. I was hard just not like when he jerked me off. It seemed like it wouldn't have taken Drew much to get him off again, he seems like the type of kid who reloads quickly but that was about all that happened other then washing together and just having more fun. I gave Drew a hug and then one more kiss on the lips as I left my new friend. One I hardly knew twenty four hours ago and now have gotten so close to in four hours that being naked with him doesn't even matter anymore. It hasn't even hit me yet what we did together today but I will have all day to think about that and what I am going to tell Josh if he is still talking to me. Boy will he be surprised if we ever have another session together because suddenly my shyness is all gone. I have a feeling that unless Josh is extremely understanding things are going to get worse before they get better. I crossed the street and he was hanging out in front of my house so I guess this is going to get taken care of immediately. Like it or not. "Hey Josh. I hope you aren't too mad that I blew past you before. Sorry but I really had to take care of helping out Drew." "Maybe if you explain to me what happened I might understand better but as far as I know just yesterday Andrew was nothing more then a bully and our enemy? What the hell happened and when did he just become DREW?" "Long story. If you want to hear it I will gladly tell you but I don't think you will like most of it." "Oh I want to hear it all right. We are still friends aren't we PJ?" "Of course Josh. I will never stop caring about you or change anything that we do unless you want to. I will never feel a different way about you I promise. I just hope you have room in your heart for me if I have more than one friend." "Suddenly he is your friend?" "Yes let me explain before you get all bent out of shape okay?" Now do I tell him the truth or lie? I have never lied to Josh before but if I tell him even a quarter of the truth about anything we did I might lose him forever. This is tough. I am gonna have to go slowly and feel him out as I go along. Hell I don't even believe it happened to me. How the hell am I going to explain any of it to him? I am still taking it all in myself. "So what happened between you and that Andrew kid today that made you friends PJ?" "The truth?" I said. "Yes of course." "Even if it hurts you?" "Yes PJ no matter what." "Okay but this is your last warning that this is gonna sting maybe a lot." "Geeze what the hell did you two do have sex together...he paused and looked right into my eyes. He could read me like a book... Oh man you did didn't you." "Not really..." I paused. He looked at me and then turned away. I didn't have to say anything he saw it in my face. I reached out and he pulled away from me. Then he turned back and looked at me. "How could you have sex with that boy he was our enemy PJ. I have been waiting for you to come to me for so long so we could be closer but you never did and all of a sudden you are fooling around with someone else that I didn't even know was gay. How can something like that happen?" "Do you want me to explain?" "No!" He turned and walked away. I was almost in tears from the pain I caused him. I really didn't know why thought he just bit my head off and wouldn't listen to a thing I said. Thankfully my mother didn't come outside and I can only hope she didn't hear any of what we just talked about even though we were by the street and not the front door. I went after him but he was already on his property. He opened and slammed his front door before I could get close to his house. Good thing no one is home there too right now. I would hate to have to see him explain that burst of anger. I walked over there I wasn't going to give up without at least talking to him. I opened his front door and yelled that I was coming in and didn't get a reply. Slowly I walked upstairs and to his bedroom door. I opened it and he had his head buried into his pillow. "Go away!" "Please Josh at least hear me out." He lifted his head and the tears ran down his face. "Get the fuck out of my house you traitor! I don't want to see you anymore!" He put his face back into the pillow and I turned to leave. By the time I got to the front door tears were already rolling down my face. I couldn't go home looking like this so I decided to go back to the one person who seemed to care about me the most right now. I walked down to Drew's and rang his doorbell. A few seconds later he opened the door and saw how upset I was. "Awwww man it didn't go good did it. Come in, please come on in." He shut the door and immediately gave me a huge hug and I hugged back with all I had. "It's okay PJ. I promise it will be okay." I cried into his shoulders for a few seconds and then pulled away and wiped my face. "You want some water?" "Yeah please?" I followed him into the kitchen and he gave me a cold bottle of water from the fridge. I sat at his kitchen table and drank it slowly. He sat with me. "If you want to talk I am right here PJ. Even if you don't its okay. You helped me out big time before and I will never turn my back on you I promise." I calmed down after a bit and drank some more water and he gave me a box of tissues. I wiped my face and blew my nose and finally started to feel a little better. "You better now pal?" "A little. He threw me out of his house and before I could even try to explain. He guessed totally by mistake what happened between us." "Yikes... that's some guess." "Tell me about it. The kid gets one thing right in the past month and it has to be about me." "I don't get you PJ?" "Its just that every time something happens or goes wrong it happens to him and he can't seem to get out of his own way sometimes. Then this time totally out of no where he guesses the truth and then reads it on my face because he totally shocked me. He took off before I could even explain anything to him. Why should it matter we aren't a couple Drew, I never committed anything to Josh outside of what little fun we had together. How can he be so upset when he never even said anything about us being anything more then just friends? I just don't get it!! If he would have said one thing about wanting to be closer I would have told you no." "So that's why you are so freaked. You two have done things together haven't you and then he sees us together and it really upset him." "Yes that's right; I didn't want to say anything about Josh and me because we really didn't have anything together. So we jerked off together a few times but I swear Drew... we were just doing that and nothing more. He wouldn't say anything to me and I waited. I thought that was all he wanted until now when he goes crazy after he sees me with you." "I understand PJ all he had to do was tell you he wanted to be more then friends and he never did." "Exactly!" "Look I am not going to get in between you and Josh. I will back off right now if you want PJ all you have to do is tell me." "Thanks but I think I care more about you then him." He looked at me. Then I realized what I said. Again I opened my big mouth. "What did you mean by that PJ?" "Just what I said Drew. I know it's not fair to say that to you after a half a day of getting to know you but we had more in four hours then I had with Josh in my life so far. Sure we are friends but we were both so shy that neither of us ever wanted to do anything together. You might as well know that other then some touching we never had sex or anything special I never even jerked him off before! We touched each other a few times and it felt good and he told me a lot and taught me some things too but I swear I waited for him to make the move because I tried once and he totally ignored me. What else could I do?" "Nothing PJ there is nothing you could do when you tried and he didn't respond. You know me after we talked before and a few hours ago I was nothing more then a scared fourteen year old and you helped me change that. I am not over it yet because I haven't done anything other then with you but you really helped me today PJ. I will never forget your friendship and my first boy kiss with you but it sounds like you already had a boyfriend in Josh. He just couldn't admit it and I can see by the way you are acting that it's hurting you because of what we did. I am really sorry PJ I didn't know..." I looked at him. "Drew since I have been honest with you and told you about Josh I might as well screw up once more and tell you this too... I like Josh a lot we are friends but since I saw you that one time at school four years ago I have always had a crush on you and I have always wanted to be with you. What you did with me today made my world change. I am confused because I don't want to hurt Josh but if I had to choose between you and him I want to be with you. I know that might shock you after a half a day of us being together but I swear you were so cute and fucking hot the first time I saw you that it was almost instant the first time I saw you at school." I put my head down after I just confessed everything but my love to him after half a day of being together. I felt like the biggest fool in the world right now. He got up and came over behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. "I didn't want to say anything else to you PJ but I felt the same way too. I know it's odd and almost impossible to believe but I swear when I saw you that same day I think I felt the same thing you just said." I looked at him. "How is that possible that we could see each other once and...?" I looked at him. "Its okay you can say it, its what I am feeling too PJ." "You mean love don't you Drew?" "Yeah I think so PJ I think I love you as hard as that might seem to be but I actually think I fell in love with you over the last few years of seeing you in school and all. I don't know if that is really it but it sure feels that way." "Wow I don't know what to say I think I feel the same exact way." We both smiled and embraced. We hugged for a bit and then kissed each other on the lips again. Finally we broke our hold. I sat back down so I wouldn't fall down from all this weird stuff. "So you really do love me PJ?" "I guess I do. I mean I think I am too young to really know what real love is but I have strong feelings for you Drew. Almost like I am attached or attracted to you." "Damn I swear that is exactly how I feel too. This is so messed up. How are you ever going to tell Josh?" "I don't know Drew, I really don't know." "He does care about you doesn't he?" "Yeah I think he does I just don't know how much because he never had the balls to say." "Wow this is pretty deep." "No kidding Drew way deeper then any thirteen year old should feel about another boy and love that's for damn sure! I didn't even know what love was yesterday Drew but if what we did today and had today is anything like love is then yeah I guess that's what we have on some teenage level. We are kinda in love." "Yeah that's messed up but I agree with you." He said as he sat down next to me on the other chair after getting up before. "So now what?" "Nothing Drew we just go about enjoying each other and do whatever makes us happy and if Josh wants to talk I will be there but I am not going to get myself upset and hurt every day waiting again for him to do or say something. I am tired of the pain he causes by waiting all the time. I really care about him but this is something he has to decide now and I have a feeling every time he sees us together it's just going to sting more and probably push him further and further away." "Well then for now we will just limit what we do outside the house okay PJ? Then when he finally does want to talk maybe it won't be so tough on him." "Kewl I can deal with that for now. Look I am gonna go home for a while and clear my head but I am sure I won't be able to get you out of it anytime soon." We both chuckled. "I feel the same PJ! I'll talk to you later." "Yeah okay Drew see you later love." I looked at him and we both laughed. "Bye." I shut his door and walked back to my house. No one was around and I went inside. Mom was in the kitchen and I just said hi and went to my room. Nothing unusual for me to do so mom couldn't have a clue how messed up things are right now in my head, only me... and man are they messed up right now for sure. It was early but I didn't care I lay on my bed and closed my eyes. I drifted off to sleep and for a change all I did was sleep. I heard my door open once and then close, probably mom checking on me. I woke some time later and it was still light outside but the sun wasn't where it was when I fell asleep. I looked at the clock and it said 5pm. Wow...I slept well. I suddenly smelled dinner as I got up and opened the bedroom door. I went into the bathroom and washed my face to make sure there were no tear stains on it. I was supposed to do stuff with Josh today but I guess he doesn't want anything to do with me now. I dried off and went downstairs and into the kitchen. "Hey mom that smells good." "Hey sleepyhead have a nice rest?" "Yeah I needed it I had a tough morning and a bad fight with Josh." "It wasn't over Drew was it?" "Yeah kinda. He doesn't like me spending time with him because we considered him to be a bully and I found out today he really is a great guy to be with mom." "I'm sorry to hear that dear. Give him time to adjust PJ I am sure he will come around after he thinks it over." "I don't know he said some pretty nasty things to me and threw me out of his house." "Really? That doesn't sound like the Josh I know." "Yeah well there is more to it then just that mom but its personal." "I understand and I won't butt in you can always come to me but I won't ask anything unless you start it okay?" "Thanks mom. What's for dinner?" "Pork chops and mashed potatoes with red cabbage." "Awesome!" "Yes I know it's your favorite. Your father will be home shortly and same with your brother." "Oh yeah it was really sweet having the place so quiet and..." "Yes dear I know it was but he is your brother and... "I know, I know, I have to get along with him." "Exactly. So go do a few things and we will eat in about a half hour or so." I went up and straightened out my bed and put on the TV. I thought about what happened this morning and about Drew and wondered what he did all afternoon and if he missed me. I went to the window and looked out and down the block towards his house and I couldn't see anything different. I turned off the TV and decided to go over there. I ran down the steps and yelled to my mother I would be back soon and then ran across the street and to his front door. I rang his bell and waited. I did it again and I guess he wasn't home. I went to check out around the neighborhood and I didn't see him anywhere. Maybe he went to the library or something. I headed home and out of no where I heard someone yell out my name. I turned and it was Drew. I smiled and ran towards him. He was carrying some groceries. "I stopped over to see you." "How are you feeling?" "Better now I slept all afternoon." "I figured something like that since you didn't come back. I thought you would be back sooner but I just found things to do and then I had to go to the store and pick up things for dinner for my parents." "Wait... you thought I would be back?" "Yeah after you got all upset with Josh I figured you would come back and when you didn't I just assumed you fell asleep. I didn't mean anything by that." "No, no I didn't mean it as anything. I was just surprised that you thought I would be back." "Really, after how well we hit it off before I just figured you wouldn't stay away for long. After all I thought about you all afternoon too." "Yeah I slept but when I woke up I thought about you and came right over." He smiled. "I see that and I am glad." "Me too PJ. Sorry we can't do anything now it's too close to dinner and my parents should be home soon." "Its okay same with my father and brother. Mom is already making dinner and we should eat soon. I hope you don't have to wait too long to eat." "Even if I do I still feel pretty good from that awesome meal your mom made us today. Tell her thanks again for me okay?" "Sure. Hey Drew do you want to take in a movie tonight?" "I would love that but I don't think I could get cash from my father to go." "Don't worry about that I invited you I'll get money from my dad." "Are you sure?" "As long as he says yes I am." We both laughed. "Here is my phone number PJ, call me after 6ish and I'll let you know if I can go. I am sure my mom will let me because she is always getting on me about finding new friends and when I tell her I have one she will probably give me money herself so I can go." "Well if she does save it because my dad owes me a few bucks and I am gonna collect and as long as it's okay we can go. I am sure my mom will drop us off." "That's awesome. I want to see that new Fletcher movie it looks pretty funny." "Yeah me too... Great now we already have movies in common plus other things." I smiled at him and he smiled back. "Yeah I would say we have something special in common." "Hey Drew if you are good maybe my hand will accidentally wander over into your lap tonight." He smiled. "That sounds good just promise me you won't make me cum all over my pants." Again we both laughed. "I'll think about that." "Hey no fair I can't enjoy the movie if I am all sticky!" "Ewwww." I said and again we both laughed like two gay boys. Oh yeah we are that aren't we! "I'll call you a little later. See ya." I turned to leave and then I stopped and looked around... no one was in site so I got closer and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Not in public you fool I love that you care but I don't want us outted just yet." I laughed and he smiled as he opened his front door and I practically floated back home. That was until the bus pulled up and trouble got off the bus quickly bringing me back to reality. As the bus pulled away Jamie looked at me and I was expecting something like his usually smart ass comment as I got closer but all I got was a total shock. He ran to me and hugged me tightly. After my initial shock wore off I grabbed him to return the hug and he was crying. "What's wrong bro?" He broke away and wiped his face. "There is this one big kid at camp and he threatened me today PJ he told me that if I didn't bring him money or something to eat tomorrow that he was gonna kick my ass and if I told anyone he would really beat me up." "Take it easy Jamie no one is gonna kick your ass not if I can help it." He looked up at me. "What can you do big brother you are here and I am away at camp." "I can do plenty like come to camp with you tomorrow and you can point out this brat. How old is he?" "Eleven I think." "Well if I have to go with you tomorrow I will the only problem is getting back home." "But if you threaten him and leave he will just beat me up after you go." "I'll work it out I promise Jamie. You can really be a pain in my butt but you are my brother and no one is gonna hurt you... but me..." I laughed and he looked at me. "I was kidding." "Yeah I know I just didn't know what to say this time. You actually want to help me." "I would do more for you if you didn't bust my balls all the time James." "Sorry. I promise I will try to be better." I put my arm around him and we walked into the house together. Mom saw us like that and almost fainted. He ran to her once we got in and gave her a hug but didn't say anything about the bully. "Go wash up sweetie dinner is almost ready." "Okay mom." He turned and headed upstairs. "What the devil did I see walk through the front door? You with your arm around your brother? Did I see that right PJ?" "Yeah mom, I'll tell you what happened but honest you need to let me take care of this one. Promise?" "No of course not, not until I at least hear what it is." "I'll tell you but if he comes back down I have to stop I don't want him to know that I told you or he will really hate me forever." "Don't worry PJ remember I raised both of you and I do know how things work between my boys." "Good because that was the first time I ever remember getting a hug from my brother for any reason." "Wow this must be serious he actually hugged you?" "Exactly mom that's why I need your word." "Tell me and then we'll see." "Okay, fine... I started to tell her what he said to me and how he was crying when he got off the bus. She seemed mad and concerned but after I was finished she seemed to agree that this was something that was a little out of her league. "Okay PJ I will agree as long as you don't hurt that boy and wow this goes against my better judgment but I am kinda stuck here too. I have to trust you with this. Peter Joseph if you let me down I swear I will ground you until you are 18!" "Mom you do know who I am right? You do have some faith in me?" "Of course dear I just don't want this to backfire into something that sends us all to court." "Give me a chance mom I am thirteen and I do know a little about this." "All right you win but just remember..." "Mom I know." "So you will call me after this is done tomorrow and I'll come pick you up." "Yes." "PJ if you pull this off without anyone getting hurt I will be so proud of you that I think I will actually get you that cell phone you have been wanting," "YES!" I said out loud. Just then Jamie walked back into the kitchen. "What are you so excited about?" "I asked mom if I could go to camp tomorrow just to check it out and she said yes." "Oh... that's... good?" It was easy to tell he was confused with what I told him. "Oh by the way mom I told Drew that we could go to the movies tonight if its okay with you can you drive us?" "Well okay I guess so. When?" "Not until after 7." "That's fine. Check with your father when he gets home I am sure he will give you the money to go." "Thanks mom." She looked at me and lipped thank you to me. I smiled at here and then she waved me out so she could talk to Jamie. I left and I heard her ask how his day went. All I heard was okay and then my dad walked in. "Hey pop." "Wow someone is in a great mood." "Yeah kinda." "So what happened to make you all smiles?" "A new friend and we are going to the movies together tonight I think." "You think?" "Yeah I think..." I said as I put out my hand. "Oh... yeah I do owe you some money don't I?" I shook my head yes. "Okay tell you what son since you seem so happy the movie is on me and the money I owe you I will give you separately." "Awesome." He took out his wallet and handed me thirty dollars. "That is for you and your friend tonight and this... is for you and only you okay?" He handed me another twenty. "You take good care of that because I can't give you anymore this week I don't have it." "Thanks dad I will." I gave him a hug since that seemed like what everyone was doing today. I surprised him as he hugged me back. "Wow maybe I should give you money more often; I don't remember the last time I got one of those from you." I smiled at him. "You really had a good day today didn't you?" "Yup sure did." Mom poked her head in the room. "Hi dear come on both of you dinner is ready." "Great, said my dad, I am starving." I followed him in and we sat, said Grace, and then ate dinner. After we ate I went up to my room for a bit and Jamie came in a little while after. I was on the computer and that usually meant it was time for him to be a typical brother and bother me. It was 6:30 and I was going to call Drew in a little while. "Hey big brother what are you doing?" "Just surfing the web looking for things." "Can I watch?" I was surprised usually I got something from him but it was more long the lines of more questions and they were usually annoying. He was really being good tonight, that kid really must have scared him. He was kinda hanging on me but not the way he usually did. This time is seemed more like the I need you kind of hanging on to. He watched without saying a word. Since he was being so good I went to his favorite website which is the cartoon network and he was all smiles as he pointed to the screen and wanted to see things. We actually had a good time and I almost forgot to call Drew. I looked at the time on the computer screen and jumped up. "I'll be right back I have to make a phone call." "Okay PJ I won't touch anything I promise." Yet another shocking statement from him, this really must be weighing heavy on his mind. I went into the other room, our den and picked up the phone and dialed up Drew. Some one answered and it sounded like his mom. "Hi this is PJ can I talk to Drew?" "Oh hi PJ, this is Drew's mother Andrea, hold on one second I'll call him to the phone he said you were gonna call and he is so excited.. Oh wait here he comes. Here Drew its PJ." I heard her say in the background. "PJ... hey man glad you called I have been waiting. I got permission to go is it good with you?" "Yeah my mom is gonna drive us and I really don't have a curfew I just have to check in after the movie is over for a ride home." "Awesome. I don't have a curfew unless you call midnight one." "Wow midnight? That's about two hours after the end of the movie." "Yeah I know my mom was so excited that I had the groceries and I made a friend today that she almost gave me free reign tonight." "Free what?" "Reign... oh never mind it's just a phrase my `rents' use around the house. You know they gave me freedom to do what I want till midnight as long as I check in and they know I am okay. I got my mom's cell phone too for the night." "Wow that is good." "So what time PJ?" "You can come over anytime you want I am here and just hanging out in my room with my brother." "Wait I thought you two didn't get along?" "I'll tell you all about that when we leave." "Okay I'll be over at 7. See ya then." "Okay bye." "Bye lover..." he whispered lover into the phone really quiet and then hung up. It sounded so kewl I almost got a little boner from it. I think he is serious and we are really gonna be good friends. I went back into the room and the newly anointed angel was waiting for me and like he said he didn't touch anything. "Look Jamie tomorrow mom is gonna drive us to camp. I told her I wanted to check it out and she said okay that this one time she would take me along so I could see it. She is going to pick me up at lunch time so it will be okay." "Thanks PJ I really don't know what to say to you. You are really gonna protect me aren't you?" "You know it little man! After tomorrow this punk won't bother you again or he will be dead meat! "But what if he does?" "First off I think we should do this...after you show me who he is I don't want him knowing you are my brother so we won't hang together but I will be watching you from a distance. If he comes near you and starts to bother you at all just look my way and I will come over to see what is going on. If this works I am gonna just act like a guy that is there and I catch him bothering you and tell him to back off. If this works he won't even have to know I am your brother and it might even go better. If it doesn't I will just pummel him and let him know if he touches you again he is gonna need a new set of balls." Jamie laughed when I said balls. He smiled at me. "You really think that this is gonna work?" "I know it will. Bullies can't stand it when they get a dose of their own medicine. He might even cry if I scare him enough." "Awesome! I can't wait." "Just remember Jame, this isn't a game I am playing it serious and it's to protect you and for no other reason." "I know PJ, thanks." I got another hug. Wow I am really in shock. Just then the doorbell rang. I looked and it was only 6:45 he can't be here already. "PJ...mom yelled upstairs... please come down someone is here to see you." I almost ran down the steps and Jamie followed just to be nosy. Josh was at the door. Dam! I have about ten minutes to get rid of him and I never thought I would say I wanted to get rid of him. "Its 6:45 PJ don't forget." "I won't mom but I have to do this." "Yes I know." She walked away and took Jamie with her. I went out and closed the door. "I didn't expect to see you anytime soon especially after you threw me out of your house earlier today." He looked at me and he looked like he wanted to cry. He took me by the hand and led me around the side of my house where it was out of the way and no one could see us. It was still light out being summer and the sun not setting till well after 8pm so we didn't have a light issue. "So why are we standing here?" I said. I was going to play a little hard ball. After all I was kinda upset with him. Matter of fact the more I think about it now the madder I am at him for the way he acted. He just looked at me and a tear ran down his cheek. That kinda broke the mood of my anger some but I didn't say anything just yet. I wanted to hear from him first. "PJ I... all I did today was sit in my room and think about you and cry and then I thought about us and..." he stopped talking and wiped his face. "There is no us Josh. You made that clear many times or so I thought. I really care about you a lot, matter of fact Josh I had feelings for you and one time I even wanted to show you but you weren't interested then...but that was then... the way you treated me today showed me something I didn't think you had in you. I am not talking about being jealous if that is even it. I can deal with that and it would only be fair if that was all this was about but you know as well as I do there is more, there has to be just by the way you acted today it has to be something else...I mean the way you treated me... you threw me out of your house! That hurt a lot but when you called me a traitor and you cursed at me. YOU MADE ME CRY!" Another tear ran down his face as I yelled that at him. I wasn't playing games I was hurt big time hurt and more than anything tired of trying to be something to him that he didn't seem to want. Call it what you want a partner, a good friend, a lover, or anything you want to label it and he didn't seem interested till I found someone else to have as just a friend...at first anyway... "I left your house and cried. I cried all the way back to Drew's house... that's right I went there. I couldn't go home and show my mother I was crying that would totally embarrass me and she would have a million questions about what happened. So I did the only thing I could think of after my best friend threw me the fuck out of his house and called me a traitor I went to some place I though I could go to feel better." I didn't want to rub it in anymore then that he was already crying steady now just without the whimpering. It actually felt good and killed me at the same time to see him this way. "What do you want from me Josh? I still care about you I always will. I told you that when you asked me if I was still your friend. I care more about you then I think I can tell you and more then you seem to care about me! You should know that but that doesn't make this any easier. Yes I had a sexual encounter with Drew today and what we had was special and will stay between him and me. That is our business. I wanted to tell you but you..." I paused. He didn't say anything but he was certainly listening. He wiped his cheeks with his hand and looked at me with tears in his eyes. "I don't want to say it again you know what you did. Now I don't want to beat you up anymore Josh I care too much about you to even do this to you but I had to tell you... I couldn't hold it in anymore and I didn't think you would even come to see me for a while. You shocked me tonight maybe even more then you did this afternoon when you threw me out without letting me talk about it." I didn't say anymore. I just watched him cry for a moment. It was killing me inside I wanted to hold him but I didn't know how he would react. I have never really hugged him... even all this time... as we were friends and through all that sex stuff he never let me in... never let me get too close. Suddenly now he is crying because I found another friend...actually lover I think... but he doesn't need to know that... he threw me out and cursed at me and now I was tired of being the one to wait for him to make a move and it was time he knew it! "Josh...talk to me now or I am leaving. Drew is coming over and we are going to the movies tonight. I don't mean to rub it in but I can't stay here all night I have to go soon." He lifted his head from the ground and looked at me. He finally stopped crying. "You can go with Andrew, I give up I guess he wins." I put my hands out and grabbed him by both sides of his shoulders tightly. "Damn you! This isn't about winning or losing Joshua! I loved you... yes there was a time last year when I would have done anything for you. You taught me so much about friends, about growing up and mostly about sex... even though we never did anything... I cherished you and wanted to be with you even as shy as I was and as scared as I was but you didn't do anything and I thought it was my fault. I cried then too Josh. I didn't know what I did wrong. I just didn't have the balls to tell you then. I do now... even that didn't change anything I still cared enough about you to keep coming back and I hoped that something would make you want me... I knew you were gay and I knew I was. But what I didn't know was what I did wrong to make you not want to be with me. I would have done anything for you, to you and with you. I am sorry I don't mean to hurt you Josh because a part of my heart...I reached out and touched his chest... a part right there belongs to me just like a part of mine belongs to you. What happened to make you not want me?" He looked at me. "I was scared PJ. I was afraid of what might happen between us if I let myself go. I did want to be with you. Maybe it was me being shy or me being embarrassed to touch you... I didn't know what I wanted from you it was new. I was guessing... sometimes I didn't know how to answer all your questions but I tried. I thought I wasn't good enough for you that's what it was Peter... that's what it was... you are right a part of me does love you but I guess I wasn't man enough or I was still too young to know what to do. I still am young I am only a teenager a confused teenager! I didn't have all the answers even if you thought I did. I am sorry. I reached out and grabbed him and pulled him to me and we hugged. I never held him like I did that moment. We both held on tightly. I knew it was late I knew Drew was probably in the house waiting for me already but this had to be done. Now! Finally we broke our hug and I looked into his eyes. I was going to make the move now. I leaned in to my older friend and our lips met. I kissed him and this time he didn't pull away. It lasted a while I didn't count how long it just lasted a while... when I finally pulled away he looked at me. "Wow PJ... wow. I didn't know you could make me feel like that." "I love you Josh just I can't be with you right now. Please don't be hurt. You made your choice and I made mine. I am not going away and I will always be here for you and always be your friend but today I got to choose and I chose Drew. Not to hurt you, only because I tried to choose you one other time but you wouldn't let me. Now you know how I feel about you and that will not change but..." "But I know PJ your heart is with him now. It's okay. I will be okay. Go meet your friend and I will talk to you tomorrow okay?" I grabbed him by the shoulders once more. "This is very confusing Josh. Don't let it change who you are because that is who I care about but I need to see what Drew has. I need to get to know who he is and most of all I need to have other friends and nothing would please me more if you accepted him and got to know him." "I can't say I will PJ it's too soon and it still hurts but I will try for you because I do care about you. Go have fun and we will talk tomorrow." I leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the lips and then purposely messed up his hair. He hated that and told me never to do that to him the last time I did it fooling around but I had to do it just this time so he could understand this time he was going to deal with it no matter what. I went inside after making sure my face was dry. It was 7:10 and Drew was sitting on the couch. I cleared my throat and looked at him. He got up and we went upstairs together and no one knew what we had but they seemed to understand that we needed to talk alone and they didn't bother us. I went into my room with Drew and as soon as I shut the door I hugged him and quietly sobbed. He held me and did the same oddly enough. I don't know if he was crying because I was or because he felt my pain or even heard some of what Josh and I said together before he went inside. What I do know is as much as I care about Josh he has a little piece of my heart. Drew even after just one day has all the rest of it so far and if he ever breaks it like Josh did I will just kill myself! We broke our hug and he looked at me. We were both a little messy. "Are you okay now?" he asked. "Yeah I think so. Why do I have a feeling that you might have heard some of our conversation Andrew?" "Well you were a little loud but I swear as soon as I could I rang the doorbell and your mom let me inside. She told me that you were busy and I told her I already knew. She seemed to understand some how. So I just waited for you to finish. You still want to go to the movies?" "Oh hell yeah. More then ever. I need a good laugh now. Today has been way too stressful for someone my age. Come on lets go have some fun tonight." Before I went downstairs I went into the bathroom to wash my face. Drew did the same considering he was almost as messy as I was after that. So he did hear some of it. That explains why he cried with me... I think. But I don't want to think anymore tonight I just want to have fun. We went downstairs and my mom came over without saying a word and the three of us walked out and she drove us to the movie. We sat apart just to be safe and not cause any suspicion in the car. "Thanks mom. I'll call you when we are done?" "How?" "Drew has his mom's cell." "Oh okay great, have a good time boys." She drove off and I looked at him. "Drew is this our first official date?" "Ya know what PJ I think it is." We walked over, I bought our tickets, and we went in and got our seat. We sat in the back and one seat apart just to be safe and as soon as the lights went out he moved right next to me. No one was close to us which was great and before the opening commercials were done he reached over and ran his hand over my cock through my shorts and looked at me. "That's just to tell you that I love you PJ. Even if we don't quite understand the full meaning of the words yet. It just a small part of things to me but I hope we can keep each other happy for a long time to come." "Me too Drew, me too." I reached out and grabbed his cock too but only I went inside his shorts and played with it for a minute. The movie began and after that we kept our hands to ourselves for a bit and watched to movie and did nothing more for a while but laugh at the stupidity of the movie in front of us. There were a few stupid parts and during them we made sure things got a little hard but we didn't go crazy at all. Just the occasional stroking and playing and teasing and by the end of the movie I was all laughed out and ready to cum at the same time. It was great. Thankfully we were both soft as the ending credits ran and we got up and walked out without anyone else but us knowing how much fun we really did have tonight. I sure hope this is only the beginning...