Date: Tue, 27 May 2014 08:50:36 +1000
From: Colin Barnard <crkbarnard@gmail.com>
Subject: Enjoying Myself Part 22

This is the last installment of Dean and these stories. Thanks to all
who've gotten this far through all my memories, through the saucy parts and
the more personal ones. It's been the first time I've strung all these
snatched, vivid memories together and in doing so made me reappraise my
thought process at the time. Trying to understand the mind of a teenager,
even when it's yourself is surprisingly difficult as it's inevitable that
we look back through the eyes of an adult. Anyway, here goes the last story:


Over the next 3 years we saw each other occasionally. It wasn't that easy
to travel between our two cities and we started to get our own lives and
circles of friends. We wrote to each other most weeks and I was very
alarmed to hear within the first two weeks that he'd got a girlfriend. He
also talked about a guy called Ben who lived next door to him that was his
main friend and who his girlfriend thought was gay. You can imagine that I
was seriously unimpressed with those two pieces of news.

It got very complex that first Xmas holiday of our first year at Uni when
we returned home for the first time since going our separate ways. He was
seeing a girl from our hometown who also went to his Uni and like an
absolute bastard, I slept with her, just to piss him off. It did but of
course, rather than him come running to me it pushed us further apart
(doh).

He'd been to visit about 3 or 4 times over the first year but had made it
clear that nothing could happen on each occasion. Towards the end of that
first year, however he came to stay for a weekend and slept in my bed which
was different as he'd always slept on an air mattress on the floor before
to make sure nothing happened. Of course I sucked his dick until his hot
jizz was sliding past my tonsils but he didn't explain why he'd relented. I
guess he was just horny or maybe felt enough time had past. Who knows? He
left me that weekend and said goodbye as he had done those few times
before. It just didn't seem to mean the same to him as it did to me - no
'repercussions'.

I won't bore you guys with the rest of what happened in the intervening
years but I will just mention one incident before going on to the final
story. He came around my house one afternoon to say hello during the summer
after graduation. I had been working nights and was still in bed when he
rang on the door. I'd shouted for him to come on up to my bedroom as no-one
else was home. He stood there with an impish grin and invited me out for a
drink that evening. I wondered why he was grinning and then looked down to
see that my quilt wasn't covering up my dick which was suffering from
'morning glory'. He hung around for a while chatting and I noticed that he
was hard. Neither of us made a move but I think if I had we'd have been in
the sack but by then there was no sex between us and we didn't speak about
what we used to get up to together. He just always puzzled me. He
definitely didn't want to be gay or bi, showed no interest in kissing etc.
but I think he was highly sexed, mostly straight but would stray from that
straight path if the situation and mood arose.

Fast forward another year. Dean was doing his Masters and I was doing mine
in yet another city I met up with him. I hadn't seen him for a whole year
and I thought I was completely over him. I was going for an interview in
London and just thought I'd drop in to say hello and get a free place to
stay for the night.

I'd turned up on the day of their house party by total chance, so I got
fabulously drunk. Dean, now knowing I was 'out' had whispered to me, in no
uncertain terms, that I wasn't to mention anything about 'us' to anyone. I
wasn't going to and was trying to put it behind me.
But he did have an obsession with a very handsome guy from his course who
he thought might be gay and asked me to out him. I was reluctant to do so
and Dean said that if I could snog this guy to prove he was gay then he'd
give me a joint. So I eventually agreed. Whether this guy was or is gay, I
shall never know but I do know he wasn't interested in me and I gave up. It
felt wrong and I was feeling a bit used by Dean who seemed genuinely
disappointed that I hadn't outed his friend.
Anyway, that night I was lying on the floor in his bedroom and he asked me
if I was comfortable. I said I was but he insisted that I could have his
bed. I figured, given that he'd put his past behind him, that he was being
generous and was offering to swap places. I got up to get in his bed and
was expecting him to get out but he just moved over. I slid in next to him,
terrified that I wouldn't be able to control myself with him but excited -
like an ex-junky being let loose in a pharmacy. By then I was seeing a girl
and had gone straight (don't laugh - it only lasted a year) and had no
intention of cheating on her so was naturally worried about my own reaction
to him.
After a couple of minutes he just put his arm around me and poked his hard
cock against my butt. At first, I ignored it, trying to stifle every
instinct I had. "Hey Charlie" he whispered with his beery breath, "you
awake?" This was ironic. The ball was on the other foot. I didn't say
anything. He asked me again. I lay there still, my heart fluttering in my
throat, breathing quick, shallow breaths. He then completely surprised me
and lifted my left butt cheek and rested his dick between my cheeks and
whispered again "I know you're awake!"

"What are you doing?" I whispered back. "What does it look like? I just
thought we could have some fun" he answered in a half-drunken slur. And
with that my resolve melted and I said "hang on, I need to go and clean up
if we're doing this." I went to his ensuite bathroom, did the necessary and
came back. By now he was lying on his back, the room dimly lit from the
light from the street. Through the low light I could see he was grinning
like a Cheshire cat. He patted the bed next to him and I hopped in. He then
did something I never thought he'd do and sat up and kissed me. I was taken
aback and asked him what he was up to. "I thought you'd always wanted me to
do this" he replied. Yes, it was true that I had thought about kissing him
through most of the 3-4 years we spent together but never thought he'd
agree. I reminded him that I was with a girl called Karen and that it
wasn't right but he told me he too was in a relationship but that this was
just 'unfinished business'. By that point he'd got me, hook, line and
sinker. I dived onto his face and he kissed me incredibly passionately and
beautifully. He was a fantastic kisser. Even that was perfect about him.
Damn him. After a while he pushed my face off him and asked "Can I fuck you
Charlie? Ever since you got here tonight, I've wanted to fuck you." Shocked
but not wishing to deny a horny 22 year old this most basic of pleasures, I
accepted.

Even though I had been previously used to his girth and, prior to Karen,
had been fucked by a few guys at Uni, I hadn't done this for a while so lay
on my side whilst he put his arms around me and we took it slowly. It took
a bit of time before we got enough combination of lube (this time some sun
screen lotion from his bathroom) and me relaxing. Eventually his 22cm
monster just pushed its fat head past my tight rosebud and he was in. All
the memories came flooding back and I felt him, once again, stirring very
deep inside me. He started to push in and out and whilst it was painful, it
was also incredibly erotic. He told me that he wanted to take me from
behind so I got up and winced as he re-entered me but totally consumed by
lust as it slid all the way up inside and his body was in total contact
with mine.
He was leaning right over me and whispering into my ear "Oh Charlie, I love
that tight arse" as he flashed his tongue in my ear. He'd evidently been
getting some training from one of his ex-girlfriends during the last 3
years. He was starting to pick up the pace and his large, low-hanging balls
slapped against not only my arse but swinging forward to meet my gems. I
put my hand between my legs and was able to pull his ball bag through and
entirely cover my own sack. He was panting now and grunting and saying
things like "you like this, don't you" and "I want you to cum for me."

As the rhythm quickened, I could feel myself get near so stopped
stimulating myself and pushed my legs wider, lowering my head to his pillow
"cum inside me Dean. Go on, cum inside me." By now, I didn't care if anyone
could hear us and started moaning "go on, fuck me harder Dean. Fuck me
harder" which induced him to tell me to keep my voice down. I resumed
stroking myself and I could feel him stiffen which started to send me over
the edge. "Dean, I'm going to cum" I gasped. "Me too Charlie" he grunted
back. I then felt him thrust forward and his fat cock then convulsed
against my ring which was the final straw "Dean, I'm cumming" and I felt
each jet of his hot spunk hit my insides as he filled me. I was only
seconds behind him and I shot out several streams of sticky goo onto his
sheets. I was totally spent.

I collapsed under him, him still inside me, trying to recover my breath.
"Did you enjoy that Charlie?" he asked as he withdrew from me and reached
across for a roll of toilet paper he had beside the bed. "I did but did
you?" I replied. "What do you think?" he asked me. Filled with his man
fluid I figured he had enjoyed it.
After cleaning up, we lay together, on our backs, side by side and I felt
finally brave enough to ask him a ton of questions (the last I've ever
asked him on this subject). Was he awake all those times when we were
teenagers. Yes he was. Did he enjoy it? Of course he did, well most times
but sometimes I pissed him off by constantly wanting sex. Why did he act
asleep? He couldn't tell me. Why had he gone to a different Uni? Was it to
split up? He denied that he had done it deliberately and said it was a
better Uni (it was) but he was worried about how 'close' we'd become. His
Dad had started to ask difficult questions about us and joke about his son
being friends with a 'fairy'. We finally fell asleep until I got up early
the following day for my interview. I didn't get the job - mostly because I
think I was hung over and completely distracted by what had happened the
night before.

That was the last sexual interaction with him. I saw him with my new
boyfriend about 18 months after that incident. He was sharing a flat with
Mark from our school year and had a very serious girlfriend who eventually
became his wife. He went out of his way to avoid me, coming in at 6am to
get his work clothes, having stayed over at her place. At the end of the
week, however, he came out for drinks without her and with a close friend
who was a very good looking guy who got my gaydar up and who said he was
single. Dean and he were best mates. I've often wondered if they were
anything more than that and it puzzled me that he often was friends with
gay guys. That was the last I saw of Dean. For a couple of years after that
I sent birthday cards and Xmas cards to his parents address for them to
forward but he's never replied. That was all some while ago. I've long
since given up. I'd love to say that I am over him but if he walked into my
life today, I think I'd fall into his arms in a shot.

So that was my boyhood story, starting from Tim introducing me to wanking
(and more besides) and me navigating my way through the nether regions of
my closest friends. When I look back it's probably not surprising now that
they were all good looking, except Leo who was just average - I was
attracted to cute boys even when I didn't know it. They are all straight
now, except Leo who is probably bi-curious and they all struggled with
accepting their own feelings at the time and my attention. Some were more
black and white about it, like James or opportunistic like Tim whilst
others like Ade and Dean became more like lovers and I probably smothered
them and demanded too much. But it was a lot of fun and I've played and
replayed those memories over and over in my head to the point that I can
recite the dialogue and almost remember their smells and mannerisms like
they were yesterday.

Thank you for hanging in there through the racy bits and the dull bits and
especially thanks to those handful of you who wrote and encouraged me to
keep writing. You all seem to have your own childhood stories, some of
which a couple of you have kindly shared with me that I am sure the Nifty
audience would love to read about if you feel able to share them with the
wider world.
I leave you with this thought: I feel hugely privileged to have been able
to have experienced gay sex from such an early age but I grew up in a town
and at a time in the UK just before 'being gay' became so widely accepted.
I hope if there are young boys or girls out there playing rude games with
their pals then I hope you just enjoy yourselves safely. You shouldn't feel
guilt or abnormal - it's all part of the glorious part of growing up and
discovery and, if you are like me, you will enjoy those memories for the
rest of your life. Have fun and enjoy the ride!

Cheers everyone

Charlie

Please consider donating to Nifty as it can only continue to provide access
to stories with your support: http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html