Re-Edited - Draft One
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A SIDE NOTE; this is just an updated version of EIWT Draft 1. A full book, with new characters, scenes and plot is coming soon as an Ebook.
Contact and find me on these sites. I'll be posting daily updates on Tumblr regularly.
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For anyone who is interested. I have other stories on nifty. I will list them at the end of the story.
To my friend and editor Leo, who has spent a great number of hours revamping the face of EIWT.
To my friend and fellow writer Hunter, for all the support he has shown during the course of my writing. Check out his story Open Hearts.
Even If We Tried
by d.k. dANIELS
Before the weekend of my fourteenth birthday, I could have positively said without much regard that my
life was pretty much perfect. I mean, I wasn't rich or anything.
I didn't live in a fancy mansion, or go to a boarding school for the insanely rich. However,
I did have a rather large social group that supported me.
I knew everyone and everyone knew me as far as I knew. I have a great family,
it was just me, my mom and little sister. I have an older brother called Jonathan who was away studying at college.
We've lived on our own since my dad walked out on us about seven years ago and decided to
restart his life from scratch with another woman and has raised his third child.
It was saddening at first but as time went on I learned to just accept the way it was.
I guess you could say I was `the man of the house'
and with that I felt a responsibility to look out for the two ladies in my life.
I did my fair share of house work and mental pressures for mom.
During the summer, I'd try and pick up as much summer jobs as possible to help
bring in a little money to give to her. Although we were not poor or anything,
I felt that I needed to- contribute in a little way.
At school I was pretty popular, maybe it was due to my easy-going nature.
I was always a bubbly sort of person who thought that people should laugh and enjoy
themselves and not cry and dwell on the past.
This made me a magnet, and everyone wanted to be around me and get to know me.
Of course, it was hard work maintaining all the different friendships and interactions
but in the end I've met some great people.
I guess it is true what they say about people who are constantly striving to make others happy.
Those people end up being some of the loneliest. I wouldn't exactly say I'm lonely,
I have many great friends and people who support me.
However, I felt that over the last couple months that something about me is not right.
I mean I know I'm confident and any girl would pretty much jump at the chance to go out with me.
But it's been on my mind for quite some time that I have an attraction to guys.
My first rational thought was, what would people think about me?
My reputation was on the line here and everything that my young adolescent brain
thought it knew was compromised by even the sheer thought of it.
One moment I felt myself trying to hide that part of me,
while in another instance I wanted to share it with the world.
But here I am doing what I do most Friday mornings after I've had a fun-filled week surrounded by people.
However, should I actually out myself to these people I call friends?
I wondered how many of them would actually still call themselves my friend.
Glancing over at the clock on my bedside locker, the red number told me it was 5:56 am.
I had done it again, the whole night. You see when you're a big hit in the art department in school,
and everyone wants a piece of work created by you, the number quickly queues up and keeps building.
Although from the long night I just had, I was working on something just for myself and no one else.
I decided I would started sketching some characters for a new work I had
thought of a couple of weeks ago and I finally found the courage to start them last night.
It probably was not the best timing to start a project halfway through the school year.
But nonetheless, I decided I would.
I had a journal in which I kept all my favourite drawings, kind of like a portfolio;
the only thing was that these were personal to me,
I intended that noone else would see them unless I was to show them.
Then I realised that I had no sleep what so ever and that I would have to
start getting ready for school. Wishing that I could lie down and go to sleep was all that was on my mind,
however when the screeching sound of my alarm clock bellowed in my ear,
I quickly hit the snooze button, becoming all tense and frustrated.
Taking a breath and swallowing my saliva, I rested back on the mountain of pillows I had
propped up behind my back for support, while I was drawing on my bed.
That's when I heard some movement outside on the landing area beyond my door.
Turning away from the door I quickly shoved my journal under the blanket that I had
covering my legs and lay down on the pillows to give the impression that I was asleep.
"Rise `n' shine buddy", Mom said with an energetic ring to it. You know how moms are;
hey always seem full of life at 6 in the morning
"Wake up", she said as she came closer in a more neutral tone.
"What?" I said as I propped myself up on one arm to see where she was.
Sitting on a chair by my bedside she was all smiles.
"Oh, is it morning already?" I mocked, knowing that I had been already
found out from the way she was looking at me.
"Please don't tell me you stayed up all night, drawing again", she said as she gave me questioning eyes.
"No...." I croaked, "Of course, not".
Thinking of a viable excuse I settled with a pretty lame one, that being "No,
the only reason I would ever be up all night is, just because I'm so excited to go to school today."
"But I swear I wasn't up all night." I practically had just told her that I was up all night.
I knew I was losing the battle.
I thought to myself that I really needed to work on my lying and bring it up to scratch.
"Are you sure?" She questioned with a smirk.
"Positive." I said in a coy manner as I folded my arms.
Just then she leapt out of the chair and pinned me to the bed as she tickled me.
Gasping for breath between the laughter and hysterical
shrieks I was making, she started laughing and smiling.
I felt my stomach start to tense and get sore from all the laughing I was doing and I started begging for mercy.
Shortly after that she finally stopped as she kept pretending she was going for round two,
which made me flinch every time. As I calmed down and regained my breath,
she got up and announced that breakfast was in fifteen minutes.
With that she left me there to recompose myself. Sprawled across my messy bed,
I pushed myself up off the bed narrowly avoiding the top half of the bunk bed.
The top bunk bed was always Jonathan's when he used to live here,
but of late the entire room is my fortress. The room was kind of game and artsy orientated.
It was very friendly with warm colours with gamer sort of merchandise to be found in every corner.
Sketches I had done hung proudly on the walls along with movie posters and other memorabilia I was interested in.
Directly across from my bed on the left side was my built in wardrobe and on the right, was my bedroom window.
At the foot of my bed there was my desk and my own en suite.
Running into the bathroom I dropped the T-shirt I was wearing along with my black star-wars pyjama bottoms, underwear and socks on the floor beside the toilet.
Showering quickly, I rushed so that I could get dressed and get down for breakfast.
Once I had showered I quickly made my way to the wardrobe.
Fishing out clothing for me to wear to school. I settled on a slim pair of blue jeans and blue converse.
I found a red converse hoodie on the back of my bedroom door and put it on over a grey t-shirt.
Bounding down the stairs, I waited for mom to put a bowl of cereal in front of me as I sat down on
the high stool at the breakfast counter. As I at my breakfast I watched as she made the lunches,
and making small talk about what we needed for the day or if she'd pick us up from school
which then concluded our conversation, as my little sister waltzed into the kitchen fashionably late as always.
"Morning", I said as she sat down beside me and poured herself a glass of orange juice.
"Morning", she smiled as she looked about ready to brace the day.
"Here, Sam" Mom said as she handed me a lunchbox with my lunch in it and some money in
case I decided to buy lunch rather than eat what she had given me.
Hopping down off the stool I grabbed my school bag that rested against the leg of the kitchen
table and shoved the lunch box into it. Zipping it up I waited for Lauren,
my sister, to finish her breakfast. While I was waiting for Lauren to finish, I brushed my teeth and fixed my hair.
I spent a little longer than usual this time, looking at myself in the mirror.
I've never been one to worry before about my appearance.
Not in the fashion that I'd stress over how I looked, but this morning was different,
because when I looked in the mirror I was conscious of a couple of
blemishes that had surfaced on my face. As acne was a normal occurrence for someone my age,
it never occurred to me how many sets of eyes were on me at any
given point throughout the day, until now.
My acne wasn't bad in any way, there were maybe two or three little pink bumps around my chin area suggesting
that I had a small breakout, but it wasn't all that noticeable when I asked my mom about it.
Once she was done we all huddled into the car and took off for school.
Once I was in the car I zoned out from my family.
I put my headphones in and listened to Indie music all the way as I drew in my journal to the words of
21 days by Scott Helman.
My sister tried making small talk with me, but in the early hours of the morning
I guess you could say I'm better off left to do my own thing.
I don't get grumpy or anything, I just like the stillness of the morning and I want to come around in my own time.
I believe that by the time I'm forty. I'd be one of those guys who arrive early to work by an hour and have
their morning coffee and do personal work before the day starts.
But for now, that's a long way away. My sister kept trying to start a conversation with me, but,
I didn't want any part of that, especially at 7:45 in the morning.
Catching the end of the last sentence she said something.
I responded with "I can't hear you", even though I could hear her over the music.
She was pretty much a granny in the morning. She always dictated about how things should be and how I behaved.
She was wise beyond her years, sometimes I wondered who was older me or she.
Anyway, by the time we arrived at school it was around 8:15 am.
I said my goodbyes to my mom as I slung my backpack over My shoulder and walked to the front entrance.
Once inside the door my little sister and I both did a fist bump and parted ways towards our lockers.
Walking the already busy corridor, I found my way to my locker.
Opening it with my combination I took books from my bag and placed them into the locker.
I also took some subject books I had that day and placed them into my bag.
As always, my journal stayed in my bag no matter how much I had to carry.
I was about finished when I heard a knock on my locker door.
Closing and locking my locker door, I was greeted to the sight of Ethan.
Ethan has been my best friend since pre-school. He's kind of like me, he's funny and bubbly.
He's also a hit with the girls, he's quite athletic and plays lacrosse when it's in season.
And during winter he'd play basketball. I'd have to admit he is attractive,
but he's my best friend, so, there are measures and limits that I would not allow to jeopardise that friendship.
Ethan was around 5'6, he's athletic and strongly built from all the sports he plays.
His soft blond hair always looked so healthy and on point when he had it combed over,
since he had an undercut hairstyle. His green emerald eyes would captivate any girl he wanted to get to know.
Sometimes I'd even try and force myself to break eye contact with him so that I wouldn't looked stupid being
consumed by his soft dynamic nature his eyes told me of.
"Hey man, are you going to Nash's party tonight? His Parents are out of town and he's having a party."
"Em...", I trailed off, "I don't know", I said as I picked up my bag and placed the strap over my shoulder.
"Dude, seriously, you've got to come; there's a lot of girls going, And there is this new kid who's just started here at the school
and he is going to be there." Seriously, Ethan's eyes would just about convince anyone to do anything. I bet he could even talk
his way out of a murder rap if he had to.
"Fine", I huffed as I started walking with him towards class.
We didn't really mention where we were going but we knew from a continuous routine, day in day out.
That class was the destination.
Arriving to class early for English, we took our seats and waited for the whole class to fill up, just like every morning.
Everyone said hey to me and asked how I was this morning. Likewise, I asked the same back to them to be friendly.
Girls gently flirted with me by saying small things, that I looked nice today etc. but everything was the same other than the talk about this supposed kid who was new to the school.
Rumour had it that he was going to be in our class and that was true, because just before the bell rang,
in walked this boy that only a god could imagine, I mean literally.
He had something about him that was enticing.
He could only be described as a total hottie, at least with the girls.
His oval face was really well defined and he had a strong neckline.
He was on the tall side, maybe 5'7. He had slim build but you could tell that he was fit.
His skin was flawless and he had a soft tanned complexion.
Dressed in nice simple clothing,
he wore a toned-down camouflage bomber jacket that had a nice green tint running through it.
He wore a cream beanie with flecks of his brown hair peeking out the sides,
from under the hat onto his temple. He also wore a green faded top underneath the jacket and
that was accompanied by a black pair of skinny jeans and red vans.
This kid was possibly the most stylish dude I had ever seen to this moment in my life.
He hesitated for a moment as he looked around the room.
I could already feel that he got the attention of all the females in the room, including me.
However even the boys in the classroom liked this dude's looks.
But I felt a growing heat forming in my lap under my desk.
That's when Ethan called me from behind me as he rambled on about the new boy.
"Damn, I think I'm going to have trouble getting girls while he's around."
I laughed at the childish statement that Ethan had made.
Turning back to the front I saw the teacher had just arrived and took note of the situation.
I had a free desk beside me and it's been free practically all year. It never occurred to me why nobody sat there;
maybe it was because it was right up against the radiator and the teacher's desk.
The teacher, Ms. Campbell, one of the nicest teachers in the school, asked for the attention of the class.
"Okay, well it appears we have a new student, who will be joining us at this juncture.
So please introduce yourself young man", she said as she sat down at her desk.
The boy looked from the teacher to the class and casually said,
"Hi, my name's Austin. I'm originally from California, but my dad had to move up north
with his work and that's what brings us to Spokane."
Everyone said in unison to each other, "welcome Austin."
The teacher then pointed at the seat beside me for him to sit down there.
She made references that I could show him around and that I know pretty much everyone in the school.
I became aware of my awkward boner once again as he sat down and
I dropped my hands onto my lap in an effort to cover it up.
As he sat down he looked over at me and looked me up and down.
I sensed he was looking at me but I kept my head directed straight ahead and my hands on my lap.
Deciding to turn my head a little, I acknowledged him and said "Hello".
"Hey" he said as he introduced himself as Austin once again, just this time, it was only for my hearing.
"Sam", I managed to say without the words becoming lodged in my throat.
He then extended his hand for a hand shake, doing the polite thing I shook his hand,
only I had forgotten about my unwanted visitor in my lap.
Realising I left myself open to the vulnerability I covered my crotch again with both hands as
he gave a smirk and looked ahead.
As the morning went and lunch approached, Austin "pssted" Me,
looking for a ruler for the mathematics we were doing.
Digging one out of my pencil case I had on my desk at this point in time I handed it to him.
I then went back to doing what I was doing in my book.
Then he called me again. Thinking that he wanted to give the ruler back I looked at him,
but instead he had pushed his leg out from under the desk to show he was sporting a boner.
He then held out the ruler and I took it.
He gave grin and then smiled as he locked his brown eyes on me.
"Thanks", he said almost over emphasizing it.
He looked down at his crotch, looked over at me and then started doing his maths again.
By the time the bell rang I had another boner to contend
with but what made it all the more mischievous,
Austin got up and walked out of the class room as if nothing happened, while I had a boner to try and conceal.
"The audacity", I thought. His first day and he probably thinks I'm a Puff. Well I am theoretically, I think.
But I questioned myself thoroughly, was he toying with me or was he flirting with me.
"You coming to lunch?", Ethan asked as he stood up beside me and put his bag on his back.
"Sure", I said as I gathered up my things and packed them away.
Luckily by the time I stood up the awkward hard on was gone from the distraction of Ethan
and my interrupted thinking session.
Making my way to the lockers I opened my locker and tossed in my bag and headed to lunch.
I decided I'd buy my lunch today.
Once I had lunch sorted, I sat down at a table with Ethan and six others.
As people passed by they'd causally stop and talk to us. Me and Ethan, to be more specific.
That's when I noticed Austin sitting on his own at a table on the far end of the cafeteria.
"Does anyone know anything about that Austin guy," I asked.
The people sitting around the immediate vicinity.
Nobody seemed to know anything other than what they were told.
There was not even as much as a rumour.
But one of my friends called Blake, who knew people - who knew people,
could ask around and find out some gossip. Asking him to do that,
I looked forward to hearing something back soon. After lunch,
I said bye the guys and Ethan and headed back to my locker.
Opening it I took out my journal and a couple of art stuff for my art classes which ran till the end of the day.
Oddly, I always thought that Friday afternoons in school were a nice way to start the weekend.
Just as I closed my door the kid Austin was at a locker about four or five lockers down.
He said "Hey" to me again as he eyed me up. "Hey" I managed back.
It was then, that I got my first impression that he was toying with me. Clenching my journal to my chest I closed my locker and
walked up to him determined to get a point across. Drawing in a breath I said on the spur of the moment,
"I'm not gay", but as quickly as I had said it I regretted it.
"Sure, you're not", he said as he closed his locker also, gave a weak smile and walked
off with his bag over his shoulder towards the science department. I felt that I was violated for some odd reason.
Although I knew deep in my heart that I had done nothing wrong, nor had he.
But something told me to be cautious about this boy.
Hurrying to art I did some great work, and that kid was quickly forgotten.
That was on till home time, when I picked up my bag from my locker.
Upon opening my locker door, a note fell out and plummeted to the rubber floor that ran throughout the entire school.
Picking it up I looked around before opening it. When I opened it, the note was short and brief. It read,
"Come find me at the party tonight".
Swallowing hard I looked around again for insurance.
A few people said seeya later to me and I returned the kind gesture.
Some said they would see me Monday as they headed off.
Grabbing my backpack, I tossed the art stuff into it and zipped it up.
I quickly made my way toward the front entrance as thoughts bounced around in my head.
I thought about who it might have been, that left the note.
Was it that boy? Was it a girl?
It wasn't made clear who it was but I thought and rather secretly hoped it was that boy Austin.
It would have been cool to get to know him, But carefully and slowly.
He seemed like danger and also a bad influence,
as my mom would describe someone with his personality. Meeting with my sister at the door,
we both walked toward the pickup area where mom usually picks us up.
Sure enough, she was there and we climbed into the car and drove on home.
On the way home I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.
Taking it out, I pulled down the notification tab on my iPhone
and saw that it was from Ethan who sent it via Snapchat.
Clicking into the app I tapped on his name to open the snap icon,
there was a picture of Ethan all ready to go with a caption across the picture that said.
"I'll be by at 8. Be ready."
Smiling at that friend of mine I took a selfie of my own and captioned it with
"Okay, see ya then". Placing the phone back in my pocket,
I remembered the note that I had received and thought about who the mysterious person could be.
I felt nervous, but I couldn't be happier for the hours to quickly pass as dinner approached
as I watched the world outside the car window whiz by.
The End of Part 1
If you've made it this far, thank you for reading. Please, comments are welcome.
Danny (Your Writerly Friend)
Contact and find me on these sites. I'll be posting updates on Twitter and Tumblr regularly -
Bibliography; of LGBTQ stories by D.K. Daniels, on Nifty.
Even If We Tried (First Draft) - Gay Male, Young friends
Spring Tide (Unfinished)- Gay Male, Young friends
As They Say (On-going) - Gay Male, Young friends
Our Little Darlings (Stand-Alone Edit)- Gay Male, High School
Ghouls, Goblins & Ghastly Boys (Mini-Series)- Gay Male, Young Friends
Light The Night (Mini-Series) - Gay Male, Young Friends
Who We Are (Stand-Alone Edit) - Gay Male, Young Friends
Bibliography; of LGBTQ stories by D.K. Daniels, on Iomfats
Who We Are (Listed under D.K. Daniels Author)
Bibliography; of LGBTQ stories by D.K. Daniels, On Cornercafe.us
Ghouls, Goblins & Ghastly Boys(Listed under D.K. Daniels Author)
Light The Night (Listed under D.K. Daniels Author)
Who We Are (Listed under D.K. Daniels Author)