Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2001 22:57:00 -0000
From: matty boy <mattyboyboy36@hotmail.com>
Subject: Falling in love with Tad

I always liked guys, at the age of 7 my feelings for men came at its peak, I
had to look at them, compare them to myself, I know its what all guys do but
I had a stronger urge. an urge to kiss them, hug them, hold them, of course
I never told anyone how I felt. I didn't really think that anyone would be
interested. My parents had just split up and I knew my mom was too busy to
deal with it, now she was single. She worked so hard, she did anything she
could to make money, and because she was cleaver. She caught hold of a great
job where she could earn enough money for both of us and other luxuries. It
was still hard times for us and though my father wanted to keep in touch
with me, but he refused to pay for anything. This meant my mother had to
work harder, and as her hours were stretched. my time with her was shortened
day by day, I loved her so much, I felt like she had abandoned me. I had to
go with a childminder most of my life, and I hated it. At least school was
going well for me. I wasn't extremely smart, but I got on with it, I did
well and I made strong relationships with my friends there, heh heh, looking
back on it now, it makes me smile, all the great times I had.

In June, we had two students leave in our class because they were moving to
a different town, they were twins, Devon and Damon, they were really nice
kids, they always stuck up for me and I always found them to be friendly, so
I really felt upset when they had to go, but as the days went on I got used
to them not being there. Well its not like I really had an option. After a
few months we were told there was a new boy coming to our class, we were all
quite excited because we knew all the children in our town, and apparently
the family had just moved here, I was looking for a new friend, maybe I
could find one in this "new guy".
On the day the new student was meant to come we all waited outside for him
in the playground, we were all excited, especially me. As the navy blue car
drove up into the driveway of the school, I squinted my eyes to catch a
glimpse of the new guy, but I could only really see the driver, a tall man
in his mid 30's. The door opened, and the most beautiful thing I have ever
seen in my life appeared. He was small, about 4'8 with light blond hair and
piercing deep blue eyes, he looked so scared, I just wanted to run up to him
and hug him and tell him that everything was going to be alright, I almost
did, until his dad came round from the other side of the car and gave him a
hug and a kiss, how I wished I could have done that to him, I wanted to make
him happy, I wanted him to love me. I felt so warm inside, like my insides
were full of candy. He started to walk towards the playground, but his
father didn't follow, He just got back into his car and drove off, how could
he leave this beautiful thing? I saw him walking towards me, can't believe
he's walking to me I thought to myself, how could this god of a boy want to
talk to me? As he approached I felt a million butterflies in my stomach
trying to find a way out

"hi" he said.

I could sense he was really nervous but then again so was I, I hope he
didn't see it, I hope he didn't see my feelings, his eyes, oh his beautiful
eyes, how they dug into me like a hundred swords, piercing me with their
sharpness, and force, I was melting away. Here goes nothing I thought to
myself, as I opened my mouth to answer the sweet prince.

"um.. errr... hi... um... err..." damn my tongue was in knots! Oh no what do I do?

"Hi my names Tad, what's yours?" he said. It seemed he was beginning to
become less nervous but I on the other hand wasn't so lucky.

"my... my names M.. M.. Matt" oh great!! He probably can't even understand
what I'm saying!

"hey it's really nice to meet you Matt, I just moved here and I haven't
really made any friends yet" he said, he was beginning to get nervous now,
but I didn't care anymore, He wanted to be my friend. MY friend!! I was so
happy, he actually liked me, I wish I could have found out then how much he
actually like me at that point. But I was only to find that out later on.

As we got into class we started to get less nervous around each other and
ended up jabbering on all day, nobody really had a chance to meet him, we
were so indulged in talking we didn't get any time to do anything else, not
even listen to the teacher. By the end of the day when it came to home time
we were like best friends, he was a really open guy once you got to know him
and his personality intrigued me so much I couldn't keep my eyes off him, I
watched everything he did. As we waited together on the bench for our
families to pick us up I really felt close to him. I was sure he felt the
same
Because as his dads car pulled up, he grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight.
I melted right there and then, everything about him drew me to him, and now
I knew that he felt the same, it was like a dream come true, how could such
a brilliant thing happen in one day?? I didn't know that answer, but all I
did know was that something good was to come of this, something brilliant.

I'm not sure whether to carry this on so please send me your comments to
writerboy36@hotmail.com