Date: Mon, 19 Feb 2007 11:48:33 -0500 (EST)
From: high5fiveme (at) lycos (dot) com
Subject: chapter five first and last real friend

Your are not supposed to read this if you are underage or if it is
illegal. You are not supposed to read this if you are in the fifty percent
of guys who from the Kinsey report have not done anything like what you are
about to read about because you will probably be offended unless you
thought about doing it and were afraid to do it because you bought only
what society told you to do even though you sometimes lay in bed thinking
about doing some of this. Just remember, though, that a former President
told Playboy magazine that he had sinned in his heart many times. Only
fifty percent of us may have taken this sinning a little further. Of
course, this story is totally fictional and the names have been changed to
protect the not so innocent players in the story. And don't anyone
reproduce this or tell anyone to read it. It will just be our little
secret.

End of chapter four first and last real friend:

This time the liquid didn't scare me because I hadnt really done it. Tommy
had caused it somehow. He would get in trouble! Not me. But what the
hell. I wasnt going to tell on him. In fact, it was my turn to get ontop of
him.  Where the hell was he?. I rolled over on my back stared at the
ceiling and longed for Tommy. I think I cried. But sleep came quickly
again, that was for sure. Was I really going to get my turn with Tommy
someday or was I going to get rejected?

First and Last Real Friend chapter five

Mexico had been quite a trip.  The whole thing lasted just under two weeks
with most of it being just a bunch of driving around, seeing old buildings
and run down cities and people living in cardboard boxes. There was the
highlight of fishing and catching a baracuda fish.There was the learning
how to swim in the De Cima Hotel pool where I went for the first time into
the deep end.  This was a must as we had to swim in Junior High in the nude
with the other boys. I had been thinking alot about that because now that I
was getting hardons, I wasnt sure how that was going to work out. I had
still not seen anyone nude and I knew the thought of a boys cock made me
hard so how was seeing a classroom full of dicks going to affect me?

 There had been no more incidents on this trip of a sexual nature. I am not
so sure why but I think the rejection from the busboy might have added to
my lack of boldness for the rest of the trip. Also, I have distinct
memories of seeing the aweful poverty that everyone was living in.  My
mother couldn't have helped the situation either when she told me that I
was not to touch any of the kids because they were so dirty. I did want to
touch them and had touched the boy in the shop.  But, afterall, she was
right, the boys were filthy and Tommy was so clean and kempt. I guess I was
just waiting to get back to him. Actually, I was definitely waiting to get
back to him. Tommy was much more than these boys had been. The mexican boys
couldnt have been friends anyway. They didnt speak my language like Tommy
did. Tommy spoke everything the same as I did. We were friends for life
because we shared everything. It was just how to teach him what I was
learning about this new fun game of touching other places, and I had to
find out now if he had ever had any of the gooey stuff.

When we came back to Shreveport, it was getting close to the first days of
the new junior high school. I was somewhat excited about this because my
mother had actually attended school there and had prepared me for how much
fun it was to change classes and have a whole bunch of new friends. I later
figured out that this was just her way of trying to get me to "break up"
with Tommy. She knew too that the school was big and that they tested and
put the kids more into accelerated classes so I would not have any classes
with Tommy probably. If I had known this manipulation and that I was going
to be separated this badly from by best friend, I would have hated her for
it. But who ever figures out until much later in life what your parents
have designed for you?

I should have known though where I stood in our small three person family
because mother announced we were moving in three days to a house on the
other side of my neighbor Jerry. Well thanks for telling me, I thought. I
guess I have a lot of input in this family. It wasn't like losing friends
or anything but what I lost was my private upstairs room.  I ended up
downstairs in a room next to my parents. Privacy was suddenly totally lost
as the door opened into the hall which opened into the dining area which
everyone walked through to get to the kitchen. The worst thing was my bed
now was on the wrong wall so I was now left handed when I had to do
rubdowns to Tommy!

Also, I should have had a clue of my loss of freedom when I asked to have
Tommy over to spend the night because I wanted to try out dick rubbing and
massages using your dick on the other guys ass.  Of course, I didn't ask
for it with the latter statement but I certainly expected a quick "Sure,
honey, call him up and have him over because I know how much you have
missed him and want to see him."  Instead it was "No! You need to pack up
your room and get ready to move.  You can just wait until we get into the
new house and you can have him over to show him your new room." Yeah right,
here, Tommy, is my new room in the middle of Grand Central Station.

And then the coup de grace came from my mother. "Phil, you haven't read a
book all summer and you know you will be doing a lot more reading in school
now. Your dad and I want you to read this book because you are a big boy
now and need to know these things. If you have any questions after reading
it, just ask your dad or me."  With that statement she pushed a book in my
hand kind of like a salesmen hands you something he wants you to take and
doesn't want to look at you because you could refuse.

Huh, I hate reading. No one has ever made me read a book in the summer
time.  When I did read, I faked it for the book reports. I think I had only
read one book back in fourth grade called "Rifles for Waitie." So what the
hell could this be and why would I "need" a book. I took the book and
thought "I can refuse this and then put the book behind me when she goes to
spank me." I read the title and it had the word "babies" in it like "Where
Babies Come From" or "How to Make a Baby" or "How to Get Chased by Women
Whom Your Mother Will have to Approve of but Whom She will Later Hate and
then Make Babies with Her until she Leaves you for another Man whose Mother
is Deceased."

Whatever the title was, I was just too pissed to say anything because I
couldn't believe I could not have Tommy over. I was fetishing him badly and
had for the rest of the Mexico trip. I had not had another wet dream and in
fact never had but one more in my life when I got much older because I was
soon to find out how to avoid having them.

 I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and I took off to my room as
I would soon be crying uncontrolably. Crying was nothing new for me as I
cried at the drop of a hat until college. I have never figured that out nor
why it stopped on the first day of college when I left home to go far away
to college. I never had a day of homesickness.

Lying in bed crying seemed to do no good this time because mother didn't
come up and say ok, you can have Tommy come over. So I just opened the
stupid book to see what it was about.  Why could I possibly have any
interest in babies.  I had married every girl in my neighborhood in the
previous nieghborhood we had lived in, and I had played house and watched
dolls in baby carriages being pushed all over the neighborhood for four
years.  I could give a hoot about a baby, and I already knew they came out
of a woman's stomach. My parents had fooled me about everything else but
they had sort of told me the truth about that one thing. Any book had to
have pictures for me to read anything and this one had some interesting
ones. It showed dicks and women's parts, and it showed a man lying to the
side of a woman with his dick inside a woman. The other advantage this book
had was it was very small. Hmmmm..maybe I should read this one.

We couldn't move slowly since the homes were both rentals, and we had one
day to get out of our house for the new renters to arrive and only one day
when the renters in the other house moved out. I spent the three days going
through three years of toys, old clothes, games etc. to pack up only those
things I wanted in my newer but smaller room. Oh yes, I also read the book.
I do not think I read it cover to cover because somewhere in the middle of
it, I got irritated. It was so obvious. You stick your dick in a woman and
some stuff comes out called sperm and it goes into her and she has the baby
which doesnt really come out her stomach but out of the place you stuck
your dick. How simple is that.  Stupid system. My god how does a baby come
out what certainly looks like a small hole? I had never seen one, of
course. Actually, I thought that the stork system would be a lot easier for
everyone. Why in the world do I have to stick my dick into one of them? And
once again, my parents had lied about life! Babies come out a small hole
and not out of anyone's stomach.

The one thing I got out of the book though was I figured out that stuff I
had must have been sperm. I think the best thing was I had made zero
connection with my thinking about Tommy and anything to do with this
book. Homosexuality was not mentioned. If it had been and I had made a
connection, I think my life might have been completely different. I think
with the fear that I had been reared with to control me in every direction
I turned, I might have frozen and feared I was a homo!

After reading the book, in fact, I was left with only one real question and
that was "How long do I have to leave my dick in the woman for the sperm to
come out?" The book never answered that. In fact the book didn't even have
the word "masterbation" in it like all of todays books do. So in my
naivette, I just answered my own question: when you want to have a baby you
stick your dick in your wife and you lie there all night and the stuff will
come out and she will have the baby in nine months. End of story. End of
stupid book.

I gave the book back to mother before we moved as I didn't want to lose it,
and I certainly didnt want to keep it around for someone to see I had read
it. She asked me if I had any questions and I answered with that tone of
embarassment..."Gosh. No, mom. Gee willikers. Leave me alone."  Actually,
why would I ask her any questions anyway. How would I know it was the truth
about this subject. And that was it; I never had a conversation when I was
young with an adult in my life about sex. What more would I need to know?
My parents had done this once to have me or maybe twice if it didnt work
the first time. So what is the big deal? I thought this for years.

The move couldn't have come quick enough for me. Three days of hell
thinking about Tommy and how much fun we could be having. School was
starting Monday with today being Friday, the day of the move and our new
home was in a mess with all the stuff strewn everywhere so I could feel
some depression hitting me as I knew I wasn't going to get to have Tommy
over until the following weekend. To my surprise, late Friday afternoon, my
mother came into my room and said with her usual bribing voice."If you get
your room cleaned up tonight, you can invite Tommy over tomorrow night."

I must have jumped three feet in the air as I leaped up from the floor and
I said "Can I go invite him." You see I would have to go to his house
because the guys didn't get our phone hooked up yet. Mother said without a
flinch or without an argument from me.  "Sure, just be back in an hour for
dinner." What had I done to get so much freedom suddenly. Was it that I
read that stupid book and had no questions? Or was it that she had to give
me freedom to get me to do what she wants me to do later?

I looked at my watch to calculate the hour and didn't even care it was such
a short time because all I could think of and visualize was Tommy. Was he
home? Did he have another boyfriend? Would he want to do the things I had
designed for him? Would his mother be srtict with him now about our
relationship? So may questions to think about in the three blocks I had to
pedal as fast as I could.

I knocked on the front door and Tommy's mom answered the door. Normally I
would be glad to see her because we had a great relationship, but today, I
had no time for her and I looked past her to see if Tommy was in the living
room. Well Tommy wasn't in the living room. In fact Tommy as such didn't
live there anymore. His mom turned and yelled "Tom! Phil is here!"

Tom!  Who is that? It sounded funny. It was too grownup. Had my little
boyfriend been Bar mitzvahed or something (he wasnt jewish) and they had
changed his name. Thank god...he came running around the corner as I
stepped in. We caught eyes, and I can tell you froze in our steps. He was
exactly the same except of course his hair was combed
different. Tommy...oops sorry...Tom always had to do something different
whether it was clothes or hair so he never looked the same. Tom's mother
began to leave the room but stopped when she realized that Tom and I were
standing there staring at each other frozen in a mental embrace because we
couldn't do it in person. We are guys through and through. Tom's mom said
"Why dont you guys go to Tom's room and catch up on old times. She didn't
ask me a thing about the trip sensing we needed our time together. I am
sure at some point she asked me about my parents and I had answered that
they were just ginger peachy. But she knew I didn't have much time so she
was letting us go off to his room to catch up on something.  Well I knew
what I wanted that something to be.

Our silence was broken as we went down the hall and I said "Tom? Is that
your name now." Tom answered: "Yeah, and Ronnie is now Ron. Our moms
decided we are too old to be called Tommy and Ronnie." Well, strange he
didn't look like he had grown up or was any older but I was soon to find
out I was a little wrong about that.

We entered Tom's room and it looked the same unlike mine. I told him I had
a new home and a new room and told him whose house we had moved to. I said
I can't wait to show it to him and could he come over to spend the night
tomorrow since we couldn't be together until the following weekend. He said
"Yeah, let me go ask and then I have something to show you." While he was
gone, I looked around his room to see what he was going to show me, but
couldn't see anything too different and the bed looked the same.  Oh the
bed!  I looked at it and my mind wandered thinking of the last night we had
together in that bed. And I, of course, thought of that night we had in
Mexico together.  I got hard immediately and had total realization it was
happening and totally focused on that hardon. I jumped up on the bed to sit
so when Tom came back, he wouldn't see my hardon. Why was I hiding it from
him? I had plans to use it with him.

Tom was gone such a short time because his mom was not one to restrict our
times together as much as my mom. He came in and shut the door and said it
was ok for him to come over tomorrow. Then before I could say a word or get
excited over his coming over he came up to me and said "Look!" With that he
began undoing his shorts. He came closer so that he was standing right in
front of me.  I was absolutely frozen, already as hard as a rock, and he
wanted a massage. Ok get ready because I have a surprise for you, I
thought.

Tom dropped his shorts to expose his tighty whities which excited me more
than it had ever done. He then began to lower his undies down over his
dick. My god, Tom was again preempting me. He said "Look what I've got."
How crazy! I have one too but show it to me anyway. So again Tom was going
to be the aggressor. Unfortunately, he pulled his underwear down just to
the top of the shaft of his dick. But it wasn't his dick he was showing me;
it was hair. Brownish blond hair was growing just above the top of his
dick. I stared because I had never seen that before except once I saw my
dad nude accidentally, but he was so hairy everywhere that I couldnt even
see his dick much.

Tom's hair was as neat as he was. It was like he had combed it. There wasnt
alot of it and I bet we could have counted how many there were. In fact, I
should have suggested that but was too paralyzed not knowing what was going
to happen next. But just as fast as he had taken them down, he pulled his
pants back up. I think because he was getting hard since his dick undies
couldnt hide the slight bulge I saw as he pulled them back up. He pulled up
his pants and asked if I had any hair yet and I said "No. I dont think so?"
I could have dropped my pants right there and shown except with a hardon, I
would have had to expose the head of my dick, and I wasnt ready for that
yet. My god, here I had become a sudden chicken. After all I had thought I
wanted to do, there must still have been a fear that if I showed or did
something Tom didn't understand, I would be rejected. I remember that I
didn't like that feeling at all.

 Tom let me off the hook from doing anything though as he said "Well, you
will get it soon because it happens at our age and Ron already has a lot."
Huh!  How did he know that. Is there something I should know here. Was my
boyfriend fucking around on me!  You know, I didn't seem to care. In fact,
it was kind of exciting because Ron had grown on me a little in sixth grade
as I had thought about what it would be like to massage him.

Tom then began to talk a mile a minute about his summer, and what he had
done. My hardon went away because massages could wait til tomorrow and
besides I had to go home and look to see if I had any hair.

We shared stories, he telling me about a couple of cute boys he had met at
camp and my telling him about the cute boys in Mexico. Neither one of us
dared say what more we might have done with them. Then the shocker. He
reached in a drawer and got out a book from underneath his neatly folded
clothes. He said. "My parents gave me this book to read. Its really weird."
It was the book on how to create "child support" that my parents had given
me!

I told Tom I had read it but really knew it all anyway...yeah right...He
said, never to be outdone. "Oh yeah, me too. It was really dumb. Didnt you
think?"

"Yeah, it was really dumb." and I added. "I don't really wanta do any of
that stuff!" Tom said "Me either." He put the book back and that was the
end of our ever discussing anything in the book. So with no best friend to
talk to, no parents to consult, no sex education in school, the two of us
were left to discover "that stuff" with each other not having a clue that
was what we were really doing. I was a little disappointed I hadnt brought
up the word sperm to him because I really wanted to find out if anyone else
had that gooey stuff happen to them.

We continued to talk and the conversation and my friendship seemed to be
more important at the time than my desire to have Tom lie on the bed and
remove his pants and rub my dick up against him. Tom's mom broke in
suddenly and yelled "Phil, dont you have to go." I looked at my watch and I
had five minutes to get home. There was no excuse for ever being late in
those days or it was a spanking which somehow makes you remember things
better. How Tom's mom knew I had to go, I dont know because I don't think I
said I could only stay an hour. But moms always seem to have a sense for
what their boys should and shouldn't be doing. It's genetic I think.

I stood up and said "Hey. I can't wait until tomorrow. We can play all day
long and I'll see if I can find some hair and show you when we go to bed
tomorrow night." Tom said "Yeah, I got a new game called Clue which I will
bring over.  It's really fun. And maybe I'll help you find some hair
tomorrow." I swear he then winked but whatever, I had to run cause I had
wasted another minute.  On the way home I could only think of what tomorrow
night was going to be like.

end of chapter

the comments on this story are waning but i gotta finish it because it is
an important story for me. they posted something else I did in adult/youth
if anyone is interested and you like something a little sexier..its called
Look-but-dont-touch. First chapter was post feb 17, 2007.