Date: Mon, 29 Aug 2005 08:19:04 +0000
From: Tom Hansen <etomhansen@hotmail.com>
Subject: Forever Brooks-Part 8 Gay Male

WARNING: This story contains recollections of sexual experiences from my
life, some explicit in nature. Names and other characteristics have been
changed to prevent the identification of individuals. Do not continue if
reading about sex between males is offensive to you or violates any laws in
effect where you live. Many of the stories concern events that occurred
prior to the HIV health crisis. Some of the sexual activities described
would not be safe if done today. You should always observe safe sex
precautions. If you continue to read any further, you are indicating that
you wish to, and that it is legal for you to do so. Copyright 2005 by Manny
(Emmanuel Thomas Hansen). All rights are reserved. No fee may be charged
for access this story, nor may it be duplicated, distributed or re-posted
without permission of the author who may be reached at:
etomhansen@hotmail.com Forever


Forever Brooks - Part 8

by Emmanuel Thomas Hansen - (Manny)

From Part 7: "I slept surprisingly well that night. I had enjoyed myself
in spite of all my fears--mainly of exposure--at my first public outing.
When he had kissed me I thought I was going to die from both pleasure and
fear. I had enjoyed his company and I realized how much being around him
meant to me. My only doubts were how long this would last. Suppose he
walked out of my life?

"Dear God...don't let that ever happen!""


Thursday morning was a hectic rush. My parents insisted that I finish
packing for college before I left the house. I kept one ear cocked at the
telephone all morning hoping that Brooks would call. The bastard was
probably sleeping in so I gave up by lunchtime. Actually, deep down I had
expected this, so I was not really that disappointed. I still wanted him
to call, but I knew that the chances were remote. I did not want to call
as I felt that maybe he would think that I was coming on a bit strong.
His reluctance last night, to commit anything to our relationship
bothered me, but I put it to just the way he was.

That afternoon I went to the pool to meet up with the gang. None of them
was there, but Celia was.

"Looking for someone?" she asked.

I tried to ignore her but she was persistent.

"Brooks isn't here."

"Who said I was looking for Brooks?"

"You don't seem to be looking for anybody else nowadays."

I gave her my best withering look. It did not seem to work.

"Manny, do you want to know what Brooks said about you?"

"Look Celia, I don't care."

"He said you're a fag."

"Good!"

"You don't care?"

"Bye Celia!"

"You're both fucked up!"

I grinned at her.

It had shaken me up. I doubted whether Brooks had ever said that but
Celia loved shooting her mouth off to any and everyone. Shit! I would
have to be careful.

That night I dreamt of Brooks again. It was the beginning of summer and
he was declaring his love for me. The dream was in a loop, playing the
same thing over and over again.

Friday was crazy! In spite of packing earlier and loading the car, I
found that I had inadvertently missed out on things, which I kept on
realizing sequentially. Dad was getting annoyed at the delay while Mom
fluttered about trying to keep things calm. Giles was being an idiot as
usual, trying to appropriate any of my belongings which I did not overtly
claim, and my sister was weepy at the thought that I was going away for a
long time. In all this madness the phone rang. It was Brooks.

"Hi! It's me--you off?"

"Yeah, if I can get all my shit together."

"Just called to say good luck...I'll see you Tuesday lunchtime."

What was he doing up so early in the morning? I was ebullient at the
thought that perhaps he had woken up early to especially call before I
left. All thoughts of homesickness were pushed to the back of my mind as
I realized that this was the first time that Brooks had called without
wanting something from me. I was in pretty good spirits all the way as
Dad drove the four hours to college. I surprised my parents.

Although I had been to the campus earlier in the year, I was still
overawed by its expanse. The freshman dorm that I had been assigned was
at one end, and you had to cross the campus to get to classes. Wonderful
in summer, but sheer murder in winter.

In the lobby there were assortments of families leave-taking their
beloved sons or daughters. Although I already knew about my room and
potential roommate, I checked the board to be sure. I was on the sixth
floor and as we made our way to my room at the end of the corridor with
various pieces of luggage, we passed open doors with families trying to
settle things. My door was already open and there were people inside.

My roommate's name was Charles, and he was a local boy made good. He
looked it! He was about half my size with owl like glasses and a face
that earned him the sobriquet "nerd of the year". His girlfriend matched
him-it seemed that they were made from the same mold. The only difference
being that she had extra flesh on her chest and he between his legs. But
Charlie, once you got to know him, was a delightful sort. Bubbling with
jokes and sharp wit, he could break the ice in any situation. It was he
who made the introductions before we got busy arranging things.

Charlie used to go home every weekend. He was deeply in love with his
girlfriend, and this was fine with me as I then had the room all to
myself. One of his most endearing qualities was that he never prejudged
anyone and once he decided you were OK, never questioned your motives. He
really rolled with the punches that life handed out.

After I had setup my part of the room my parents said they wanted to
leave after lunch. My Dad insisted on accompanying me to the bank first.
"Arrangements" had to be made. Account opened we headed out to one of the
restaurants near campus. By now mom was close to tears . To cover up her
distress she insisted on giving me instructions from how to lace my shoes
to baking a chocolate mousse. My dad on the other hand stoically went
through lunch, but I could see that even he felt the poignancy of the
occasion-their first born was finally flying the coop!

Charlie and I had hit it off from the moment we met. Orientation turned
out not to be such a drag as Charlie always had some wisecrack as the
lectures droned on. The security instructions were the best-it made you
feel that you were in the middle of a gang war. The advantage of
orientation was that I got to know a lot of the other freshman and soon
was on talking terms with a lot of them. Although the majority of girls
were shy and grouped to themselves, some did make an effort to mix, and
on looking back, I really enjoyed the time we all had in our first flush
of enthusiasm for college life.

The weekend flew by and our registration formalities were over by Monday.
I could not wait for Tuesday to arrive when the upper classmen would
return to start registration. Brooks had said that he would be there
before lunch and when Tuesday dawned, I waited eagerly for his call.

It was already noon by the time I got tired of waiting. I had already
cased the campus over the weekend and knew exactly where his fraternity
was situated. It was not too far and I thought I would surprise him.

I knocked on the front door and was let in by one the brothers who said
Brooks was in and directed me to the second floor. There was no elevator
and I quickly ran up the stairs and walked along the corridor trying to
catch the room numbers. His room was in the middle and the door was wide
open. There were three people -Brooks and both his parents. I knocked and
entered.

"Hiya Brooks!"

They were all surprised.

His mother was the first to speak:

"Emmanuel darling... what are yooo...u doing here?"

She looked at me as though I was something the dog had just brought in.
Nobody had called me Emmanuel since the first grade.

I wanted to ask what she and her husband were doing here-their
aristocratic asses never seemed to be around when Brooks needed them.

"Oh hi Manny!" Brooks waved me in and turning to his parents said:

"Oh! I forgot to tell you that Manny is also going here."

Forgot? My ass! He had deliberately not told them.

Brooks' mother's face had a look of bewilderment as she could not imagine
that a boy, whom she considered from the other side of the tracks, could
be going to this school. Both his parents came from a very wealthy
background and never really mixed with the other families in town. His
mother was the queen bee of the ladies set and his dad was the president
of the local country club. Most of us kids hung around the public pools
and his parents could not understand why Brooks did the same. After all,
the country club was more hygienic! His father was the scion of wealthy
New York investment bankers and they traveled a lot on his job. Brooks
was the only child and was brought up by a succession of live-ins while
his parents made their mark in the world. Till he went to college, they
had a couple to care for him and I think it was this upbringing which
scarred Brooks to an extent.

I presumed that after I had left, his mother would suggest the room be
sanitized as I had been there! I wondered what they would have to say if
they knew that their own darling son had been screwing the shit out of
me!

Brooks' mother was tall, and she dressed in clothes that made her look
taller. She now turned to Brooks:

"Brooks darling, you should've told us that Emmanuel...Manny (said with
distaste) had received a scholarship to school. It really is something!"

Insolent bitch! Did she think that my family could not pay my way through
college?

Brooks waved her down, but she kept on staring at me in wonderment and I
thought she was probably amazed that there were others in town who could
afford to send kids thorough college. She got busy with Brooks, setting
up his stuff, still shaking her head at the wonder of Manny the turd
making it in to this college.

Brooks' dad had been aloof from all these exchanges. He was dressed as
though he was on the deck of a yacht in the Mediterranean. He harrumphed
now and inquired from me my course of study. He told me what a privilege
it was to go here and how the world would be my oyster when I graduated.
I had never come across someone so pompous, and now understood why dad
always avoided him at the club. The conversation petered out and they
took turns at staring at me with baleful eyes. I guessed I had arrived at
a wrong time, but once I was there I was not in a hurry to leave. I was
sure that they did not appreciate my being there as I was sure that they
wanted to talk amongst themselves but I hung in there. The room was just
a study, as I found out later, and they slept in dorms. I looked at the
other desk, which was empty, and wondered who Brooks' roommate or
whatever was. The conversation was at a lull, and Brooks' dad was busy
looking at his watch when GOD walked in.

He took my breath away!

Lloyd was about six-foot one, trim as an athlete with clean broad
shoulders tapering to a firm waist which accented his slim hips and
elegantly long legs. He had auburn colored hair, emerald green eyes and a
sensuous pink slash of a mouth which petulantly pouted when he saw me
there. I must have stared at him, because he looked coldly at me like a
junior should when appraising a freshman. He turned his back on me after
the perfunctory appraisal and stared to talk to Brooks and his parents.

He was the most divine creature I had ever met till date. I realized that
I had stopped breathing and had that funny feeling you get when you are
tremendously surprised. They all ignored me and I knew that it was time
to get moving.

I started to leave when they noticed me.

"Hey! Come and meet Lloyd, this is Manny", was my first introduction to
Lloyd. I noticed that Brooks was very animated when he made the
introductions. I stuck my hand out but Lloyd just grazed it without even
really looking at me. All I received as an acknowledgement was a cold
flinty stare. I then left, but while leaving I noticed that none of them,
including Brooks, was sorry to, see me go. On reaching the dorm I thought
about how stupid I had been. I should have been less impetuous and waited
for Brooks to call, but I think that I was half- afraid that he might not
have!

Charlie was his usual bubbling self and kept me cheerful for the first
week. Brooks had not called till Friday and I had not had a glimpse of
him all week after the visit to his room. I was getting impatient and
wondered what had happened to him. Charlie was leaving that afternoon and
would be back only on Sunday evening, and suddenly I began to dread the
prospect of spending the weekend alone. Finally after dinner on Friday
Brooks called.

"Manny, where have you been?"

Where have I been? Waiting for your call dammit!

"Around", I said.

"Look Manny, we have things to do at the house over the weekend and I
guess we'll have to meet next week sometime. Hang in there!"

Hang in there! I wanted to hang the son of a bitch himself!

The workload for the freshmen was piling on. In a way it was good because
it kept me from maudlin thoughts of Brooks. It also helped that Charlie
was always around to lift my drooping spirits. The first month sped past
with Brooks and I casually meeting in corridors, making small talk, but
that was just about it. I occasionally caught a glimpse of him with other
guys and remarked to myself that Brooks was almost always with Lloyd. At
that time I thought nothing of it.

As the term rolled on, the spirit of competition entered me, as I busted
my ass to make sure that I would get the grades that were expected of me.
The library was my second home as I slaved away at the books. Thoughts of
Brooks, sex, love and GOD, receded, but not necessarily in that order.
The final term papers were due shortly and I really had to haul ass to
get them done in time.

It is around this time, just before Thanksgiving, that the fraternity
rush season starts. Basically you attend the mixers thrown by various
frats, talk to the guys, and if they like what they see, they offer you a
bid to pledge. You do not have to be invited to any of the mixers, but
can just walk in, but the guys are pretty adept at letting you know when
you are not wanted.

I had decided to try and obtain a bid from Brooks' fraternity-that was
the idea from the very start-but I rushed a couple of others with
Charlie. At last I was meeting Brooks in a congenial atmosphere. We
caught up with things and he was pretty good about introducing me to the
rest of the guys. I liked them and was sure that they liked me well
enough to offer a bid. The only nut I could not crack was Lloyd. He
literally looked down on me as if I was a piece of shit! I could never
understand why, and in my naiveté, tried harder for him to like me, or at
the very least, tolerate me.

Thanksgiving weekend arrived and I thought that Brooks and I would take
the bus home together. It did not happen as Lloyd was going home with
Brooks. I traveled home alone but consoled myself that at least Brooks
would be there.

I had not really had any real time with him at school and hoped that,
despite the presence of Lloyd, we would get together over the weekend. On
reaching home I called but his mother said that they were out. I left a
message and asked him to call back. I called several times and finally
got to talk to him.

"Oh hi Manny!"

"Brooks! I've been trying to get hold of you."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry just couldn't call back. Was about to, but you
called..."

"What ya' up to?"

"Whhaddya mean up to?"

"Just that."

"Oh! Well the folks, Lloyd and I are about to leave for New York. Going
to spend Thanksgiving with the family...Take in a show or something..."

"You mean you aren't going to be here?"

"Is this New York?"

I was close to tears.

"But, I'm here."

"So...?"

"No, I meant when do I get to see you/"

"In school."

"But you never have the time."

"Look Manny, I've gotta go...the folks are getting antsy...bye!"

"Bye!"

I hung up in a daze. What was happening?

I almost hit Giles in the mouth when he patronizingly asked me if the
"college boy" wanted to go out that evening with him and his friends. The
holiday dragged on. I drank too mush wine at Thanksgiving dinner and had
a splitting headache the next day. I cured it with gallons of egg nog. I
was glad when I was on the bus back to school. I had felt quite alone,
and had no one to tell that to.

I called Brooks several times at the frat but he was always out. He did
not respond to any of my messages and I was getting desperate. I did not
want to go to the frat house because of Lloyd.

We met finally at the next mixer and I asked him what was going on.

"Look Manny...what happened, happened. Just leave it at that."

"It's not what just happened...I mean...Why don't you call sometimes?"

"I don't want to!"

"Whhaaat!?"

"Look lay off!"

I was stunned. It was all over!!

I cried myself to sleep that night.

Fuck Brooks! Fuck this place!

I wanted to go home. Why did I ever come to this fucking place? I really
hated Brooks then.

But for the resilience of youth and the pressure of schoolwork I would
not have survived those awful days. I was sure I would have slipped in to
melancholia if I had not thrown myself at my books. Fortunately term was
running out and I had little time for the luxury of thinking about my
twisted fate.

Some days later I saw Brooks at the library. I wanted to go up to him but
I was cautious after the last time. He saw me, smiled-as if nothing had
happened-and waved me toward him. If it had not been the library, I would
have broken the world record for the hundred meter dash!

"Manny my man, what're you up to?"

Jerking off! I thought.

"Nothing much Brooks."

"You want to get a coke?"

What I really wanted and needed was a poke.

"Ok."

We went in to the hallway and got our cokes from the vending machine. At
least he paid! We stood around and I must have looked glum.

"What's eating you Manny?"

"Nothing."

"Oh c'mmon, you can tell me."

I looked the son of a bitch squarely in the eye and said:

"Yeah?"

He walked to the stairs and sat down, looking across the cut. He looked
back at me and I knew he wanted me to sit next to him.

Why the hell not....

"Look Manny, forget what I said that day. It's just that...y'know
school's different from home...and all that..."

"Yeah I know...but can't we meet sometimes...you know...just like
that...?'

"Look, you've got your friends and I've got mine."

"But I'm your friend...aren't I?"

"Yeah, but..."

"Brooks, I love you!"

"Cut that shit out or I'm going!"

"I'll do anything for you...anything...Just ask!"

"Yeah...?"

"Yeah...please..."

He cut me short.

"Look this term's bad news. I've a whole caseload. Christmas is round the
corner...we'll meet at home. You know what I mean? Meanwhile, see you at
the mixers."

I thought he gave me a meaningful look just before he swung off the steps
and headed away.

I had a song in my heart when I went back to the dorm. I faithfully
attended all the mixers and managed to get a few minutes with Brooks. The
promise of Christmas kept me going.

A week before school closed for Christmas, I received my bid. I was
elated and also relieved that I had made it. My grades were good and I
was on top of the world as I went home for Christmas. The only nagging
doubt that I had was that I hardly had time to get together with
Brooks-and he seemed to have no inclination to make time-that I wondered
whether it really mattered that I had chosen this college. Anyway we
would meet at home and had the whole fortnight to make up for lost time.
Imagine the shock, the pain, and the frustration when on reaching home I
found out that Brooks would be spending his vacation somewhere in the
Caribbean with his parents. He had not even bothered to tell me. Maybe he
had forgotten just as he had forgotten to tell his parents that I was
going to the same college!

Joyous Christmas did not look so joyous anymore.

As could be expected the pool was closed and I did not want to cruise the
mall. I spent two miserable weeks at home, to the consternation of my
parents who had thought that the rigors of college life would make me
look forward to sometime in the lap of luxury by comparison.

The bus ride back to college was tedious and the bleak landscape matched
my mood. Brooks was getting to school straight from New York City and so
the first time that I would see him that year, would be back at school. I
cheered up at that thought and was quite eager to get going when I got
back on campus. Charlie was full of stories when I got to the dorm, but
my first objective was to get to the frat house. I made it there in
record time, but Brooks was out, but surprisingly Lloyd was in. I thought
I would go up and wait for Brooks in his room. I had a bid and I intended
to pledge, so I thought I might have some right, some acceptability to be
there.

"Come in!"

"Is Brooks there?"

"Can you see him?"

"No, no, I just thought you'd know when he's coming back."

"How do I know, I'm not his keeper?"

I stood there looking quite foolish as Lloyd stared at me from his chair.
His eyes appraised me, travelling from head to toe.

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

I thought he would ask me to come in and wait. I held on to the doorknob,
moving my weight from one leg to the other wanting to say something
witty, something charming but my mind drew a blank under his unrelenting
stare. I realized that I was tongue- tied as I looked at him and I think
he knew what effect his blatant scrutiny was having on me. I was getting
nervous as heel and at this stage just wanted the ground to open up and
swallow me. All my encounters with Lloyd ended up making me feel terribly
uncomfortable and I always felt that I ended up making an ass of myself.

"I'll tell Brooks you came."--said curtly. The final dismissal!

I closed the door and shrank back to the living room downstairs. This guy
really knew how to intimidate people. I got the distinct feeling that for
some reason or the other he hate me, as I had seen his attitude to other
freshmen who had also received bids along with me. It was as though he
were a different person--jocular and accommodating.

"Fuck it!" I thought, "Why the fuck should I care?"--but care I did, and
it hurt a bit.

Brooks had not still turned up till the time I left and I expected that
after receiving my message from Lloyd he would call.

No such luck!

That Friday, when I got back from classes I found a message from Charlie
that Brooks had called. I had not called all week because of the brush
off I thought I had been getting. I called Brooks and he wanted to come
over after dinner. I was not supposed to have plans! But he sensed my
eagerness in wanting to see him alone.

It was unfortunate but I really loved the shit! My need, my desire, for
him drove me to despair. But I knew that right now he was my reason for
living. In spite of all the aggravation his erratic behavior had caused
me I knew that I would carry my love for him to my grave. I was hooked to
him like a junkie is to drugs. All my living was in anticipation of when
I could be with Brooks!

I sat on my bed and Brooks was on the only armchair in the room. He had
slung his legs over one arm and his head was tilted back as we talked. He
told me how busy he had been since his wonderful, wonderful vacation in
the Caribbean. And then he looked at me with that special look that he
gets in his baby-blue eyes and I knew that I was done for.

He was on the bed with me, kissing me deep and hard. I sucked on his
intruding tongue with the hunger that had been gnawing away at me since
the beginning of college. He stroked my flanks and went for my crotch. I
felt the need in me as he tried to undo my zipper. I moved away and undid
it for him and took my shirt off for him to work on my body. He licked on
my nipples wetly and laved his way down to my cock and balls. He lightly
sucked on my cock, nibbling it gently which threw me into paroxysms of
pleasure. He slid his clothes of and heaped them on the floor as he lay
on top of me kissing me furiously and with an ardor that had been missing
for sometime.

Oh God ! I really loved him!

I was locked in his embrace and fingered his cock and balls as he
smothered my face with his wet kisses. If only this would last forever.
Tenderly he rolled me over onto my stomach and in a smooth action entered
my ass. My waiting ass knew no bounds. It engulfed his cock hungrily as
the muscles started clamping along its length. It was a slow yet urgent
fuck as I felt him thrust in and out of me. My body cried out for more as
his cock worked my innards satisfying my deepest desires. He started to
come with powerful thrusts and then with a final lunge spewed his love
juices into the depths of my ass. He was breathing heavily as he slumped
over me and lay supine as the flush of pleasure overtook his senses. All
to soon he pulled away and rolled next to me his eyes vacantly directed
to the ceiling. I raised myself on my elbows and leant over and kissed
him lightly on the lips. I smiled into his eyes and I saw that his lust
had been sated.

My hardon was uncontrollable and I had to have him then and there. I
moved in between his legs and lay on top of him, our cocks rubbing
against each other; his cock slick with his own juices that he had just
pumped up my ass. I gathered his legs upwards so that his puckered hole
was exposed to my rampaging cock and with a groan slid in. It was almost
effortless as I slid deeper and deeper into his ass. Our eyes locked and
I was nearly on the verge of tears at the love that I felt for him then.
He sighed in satisfaction as I started to ride his ass. My lust and
desires were at their peak as I humped away. I had been denied too long
and I could feel the lava boiling over in my balls. With a strangled
shout of "I love you Brooks!' I unloaded my wad deep into his being as
frenzied pleasure overtook my senses. I lay on top of him exhausted yet
delirious with pleasure. I kissed him all over his face as he lay there
mutely watching my adoration of his being. I looked deep into his eyes,
trying to see into his soul, to see if I had been able to kindle the love
in him that was raging in my heart. The pleasant feeling of the after
fuck slowly insinuated itself in my senses and I drifted off to sleep in
the cradle of Brooks' arms.

The fantasies of my morning jerk off sessions had come true.

It was almost midnight when we got up. He wanted to talk so I listened.
After all those weeks of privation I would have listened to anything that
he had to say. I realized at that moment in time that I would have
followed Brooks to the ends of the earth and if necessary into the bowels
of hell. I wanted only to be with him, nothing else really mattered.

He wanted to talk about Lloyd. Even the mention of that bastard's name
did not dampen the mood that I was in.

Brooks claimed that he was nonplussed at Lloyd's attitude towards me.

"He seems to be pathological about you."

Seeing the look of worry on my face he added:

"Don't worry it will be OK."

He said that it was only Lloyd who had spoken against me in the meeting
when the bids were being decided. However in spite of his vehement
opposition, the majority overrode him and decided to extend the bid to
me. But the rider to that was that if there was a single blackball at the
time of initiation against my name, it was curtains for me. Brooks
advised that I stay away from Lloyd till then and better still, not visit
him in his room. Furthermore, if I wanted a hassle free time, it was
better to take all the shit that Lloyd handed out as he was quite popular
and could turn a few of the other guys against me. This was beginning to
alarm me and seeing this Brooks patted my cheek and assured me that
things would sort themselves out. I had set my heart on joining the frat
and these revelations put a damper on my hopes. On this somber note
Brooks left me to figure out for myself what the hell I was supposed to
do next.

I was extremely diligent in the chores assigned to me at the house and
made it a point to stay out of Lloyd's way. Brooks and I would meet in
the living room but I got the feeling that he was always wary of
something at these times. The specter of Lloyd's presence always seemed
to overshadow our meetings and the whole situation was becoming very
oppressive. I had by then realized that if I kept my wits about me, I
would be able to avoid Lloyd's ire and although I wanted to, stopped
participating in a lot of general activities in the house which would
have brought me into contact with him.

My only solace during this period was that I was not the only one being
singled out for this treatment. The other unfortunate was this guy called
Steve who had also accepted a bid along with me. His nondescript
appearance seemed to irritate Lloyd who really laid it into him whenever
he had the chance. In fact I was sure that Steve would not be able to
hack it much longer as he was really pilloried by Lloyd at the slightest
infraction.

So it was under this threat of this constant disapprobation that the two
of us waited for the day we would be initiated.

To be continued...

If you have any comments after reading this, please drop me a note at my
e-mail:

etomhansen@hotmail.com