Date: Tue, 19 Oct 2010 19:42:58 +0100 From: Steven Bradley Subject: In Darkness Love Will Save us part 7 Hi guys, this part of the story is going to be very different from my previous parts. The situation between these characters is real. Although the names have been changed, the ages have been lowered and location has been changed, this is nearly all real. For this point on until I state otherwise the narrator will be first person so I can express the emotion of my dear friend who confided this all in me and I asked him if I could write about it. This side of the story isn't a new story is joins the current story soon. If you don't like it that's ok but this is something I have to do. One last note before I begin the story and this is important. The situation in which this story takes place (an Orphanage) is fictional both men involved in this story in the real world have families but I wanted to use the orphanage as a symbol if you read between the lines you'll understand and gain a greater understanding of the main character. This is a work of fiction some events are of my own history. Any characters with similarities to people are purely coincidental This story features sexually explicit material of consenting underage teenagers. This story is for people of legal age to view such material. If you are under the age of consent in your country, please leave now. What you choose to do is up to you and in no way am I, or this site, held accountable for your actions before or after reading this story. This story is my property and shall not be posted anywhere else without written consent from myself (I most likely give it, I just want credit). HM - Head master a term used in the UK they are the principle of a school or orphanage. My love is a Shadow "He stands beside me, He stands guard throughout the day under the mighty sun, and for this my love is a shadow." "He mirrors me in the light, his hands hold my heart, he is me but alas he isn't, he... is my shadow." "My hands... hold the air, my heart... is held in my chest, my love for him... is unheard, unknown, and unreturned, he... is my shadow." "His body is beside me throughout the day, but at night he leaves me, he... is my shadow." "I speak to him but does he hear me? I love him but does he love me? I hurt but does he also hurt? Alas... I will not know for it is night and he is gone. and for this my love is a shadow." "My love is a shadow" is Copyright of Steven Bradley. That poem is my life. I wake up to see my "shadow" in other bed across the room. In the day he is my best friend he never leaves my side willingly, he guards me from anything and everything, but at night he leaves my side and goes to the other bed. My name is Henry Arthur Jameson and I have a secret. One you already know but the one person who I wish to tell does not. His name is Nick... Just nick or Nicholas but only the HM calls him that. He came here with sever amnesia and 2 years later cannot remember anything before he woke up in the hospital. Over the last 2 years he has grown into even more of a beauty that when he originally was. It frustrates him not having any memory of growing up or his parents. He often wishes he could remember so he could find his family and I agree nobody would give away this beautiful teenage. Nick is... god it hurts to even say his name these days. It wasn't always this bad but recently he has been more "affectionate" shall we say. I'm hoping that after 2 years of trying to cultivate some form of love from him but until recently it doesn't seem to have worked. Lately he's been happy all the time and more friendly towards everyone. Before this started I was about to give up and try to move on. You see I've been turning down people who have wished to adopt me so I can stay with Nick. The HM doesn't understand and frankly he doesn't need too. I knew that I would never be able to move on. I've always heard from people that when you find love nothing can take that away. They can completely betray you and you can completely hate them but the love never leaves. I guess it's like energy in the sense that it is never destroyed it just changes form. Wow... I remember something from science class. But anyway back to the Nicks behavior. Lately he's been more friendly so to speak he hugs me every morning, seems more loving like something clicked in him, also the most shocking thing was one night in his sleep he said "I love you," but that was it. He could've been saying it to anyone but I hoped and prayed he was speaking to me in that dream. But my trail of thought was broken by Nick waking up and looking at me flashing one of his beautiful perfect smiles it gives me arrhythmia when he does that. "Morning Hen," He said stretching his arms and smiling at me still. "Hey Nicky," I said returning his smile god I hope he loves me! "I like when you call me that makes me feel special" Nick said yawning toward me. "Before mid-part tonight wanna go out and get some food?" "Ye sure where u thinking?" I said on top of the world trying to hide my excitement. He only took me out when he had big news maybe he was going to tell me what I wanted to hear for so long. Last time we went out he remember abit of his past. It wasn't a huge memory but it was him, his brother, and his brother's best friend they were out shopping just having fun laughing. But to nick it was like he'd been revived. "Chinese? Haven't had that for awhile and I'd rather us go to a restaurant and not just the chipper." Nick replied getting dressed. "Sounds great I'll just get dressed and we can go?" I asked checking the clock it read 12:47PM. Damn we slept in today but that was normal for Friday during the summer. "Ye cool." Nick said and like every morning lately he hugged me. I couldn't help it I lost control for a second I nestled my head into his neck and smelled his soft skin. It was like ethanol it made me dizzy and nearly passed out from the shear magic of his smell. It made me weak which lucky enough made my head come away from him a bit so he wouldn't notice my smelling him. "Now lets go eat!" Nick said; he said that a lot... We both got dressed unfortunately for me Nick was shy in this manor I never saw him naked he was always in briefs. Which at the same time was another blessing in disguise if I saw him naked I don't think I could control myself at all. At the last minute I decided I wanted to take a quick shower be totally clean for him and smell great. Lets be honest it wasn't for him it was for me; my neurotic self would worry the entire time if I didn't do everything I could to make my self just a little bit better. "I need a quick shower. How about you go ahead and order for me you know what I like anyway?" I asked grabbing a towel. "Ye no worries." He said actually sounding more excited. At this point my mind was telling me "this is it he's going to say he loves you and finally kiss you." To say I was over the moon would be an understatement everything I'd wanted for the past 2 years was about to fall into place. My life would be complete with him, I don't need a family, I don't need hundreds of friends, and all I need is Nick. I was humming throughout my shower while I cleaned every bit of me to make sure I was spotless and hopefully good enough for him. But the water started to get colder so it was time to get out and go meet "My love" for lunch. Just thinking that made me happier than I'd ever been before. The Chinese restaurant wasn't far from the orphanage it was just down the road and across the park, which was only a mile or so. In a big sign outside opening onto the parks parking lot it said "Lee's house" an odd name for a Chinese restaurant but it was exceptional. They knew me and Nick after the chipper across the road Chinese was our favorite food. As he entered the restaurant the owner Mr. kwon (Mr. lee's son) greeted me and we talked for a bit he's always super nice saying how good of kids we are and such. After a bit he says he needs to go and points me toward Nick's table I walk up to his table he's looking at the menu still. "Hey mate." I said. "Hey, they changed the menu abit check it out," Nick said "Aww you haven't ordered yet?" I said in truth I was starving. "Nah I had to wait," Nick said still scanning the menu. "Not really I don't like anything except the usual. You know that." I said rubbing my stomach. "Oh sorry I meant to say I ordered yours, sorry wasn't focusing." Nick said realizing his mistake in word. He seemed really nervous he must think I am straight or something. "So if you ordered for me why did you have to wait?" I asked a bit confused as to why he was waiting to order. "Because" Oh there she is!" Nick said jumping up from his seat. "SHE? WTF? What's going on here," I thought all at once my world came crashing down. I turned around to see Nick hugging this girl and kissing her on the cheek. My heart broke he wasn't coming out to me! He wanted me to meet his... his... girlfriend... "Henry this is Gemma. I've wanted to introduce you two for the last week but I didn't get the chance until now." Nick said beaming. I couldn't speak my heart was crushed for half an hour I had him. Or so I thought when in reality he wasn't mine he never was. My brain shut down I don't remember much of what happened for the next hour I do know that I left without speaking to Nick or that Gemma girl. Once my brain turned back on I was in the orphanage bathroom with the door locked slumped on the floor crying. How could I be so stupid? He didn't love me all that affection he showed me was just his happiness at meeting a girl he liked. Two words kept coming up into my brain like a circle my thoughts always came back to them "I'm done" I was tired... so tired of everything nothing ever went my way it was like life was teasing me. I'd get near what I wanted and than it would be taken from me by someone else. If my life hadn't of already been a pattern of happiness to disaster I would have just cried myself to sleep again and tried to move on. But not this time I was tired of all of it. I was tired of having to hide. I was sick of being the bigger man. AND I WAS FUCKING TIRED OF TAKING IT I WASN"T GOING TO LET THIS SHIT JUST HAPPEN TO ME ANYMORE! My phone buzzed again as I came to this epiphany it said missed call. Along with that call there were about 20 others and 15 texts. Mostly ranging from "Wtf" to "you just embarrassed the hell out of me." Ye the old me would have said "sorry" or made an excuse but not this time. Nick was going to get a piece of my mind weather he liked it or not. I just don't care anymore I already know what I am going to do after I speak to him. I have the final hours of my life all planned out. Once again my thoughts cut short by Nick slamming on the door. "HENRY GET OUT HERE NOW!" Nick yelled at me. Oh... he's gonna pay now... having the fucking nerve to be angry at me. If I am honest with myself he has to have known that I feel more for him than a friend. And the fact that he knew that and decided he should trick me into meeting his slut girlfriend. That and the fact that he basicly led me on with all of that "affection" he was showing me. "HENRY NOW!" I got up wiped my face and unlocked the door. Before I did though I looked into the mirror above the sick. All I saw on my face was pure rage with a side of extreme pain. I came out of the door to see Nick standing there looking angry as hell. Unforunately for him I was madder than I think anyone could ever be at that point. Now usually I would have lost my nerve or like I said say "sorry" that didn't happen this time. "What the fuck Henry! You're my best friend and..." Nick said before I cut him off. "SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW!" I yelled at a stunned nick I'd never been terribly assertive which is why me and nick got along he would stick up for me if anyone tried to put me down. My other friends did the same hmm" I am going to miss them. "Wha..." Nick said before I once again cut him off. "NO! I said shut up! That means SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN! HOW DARE YOU DO YOU WHAT YOU JUST DID THIS WEEK! DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH WHAT YOU DID HURT ME...!" I yelled at a stunned Nick who was quickly becoming scared at this knew version of me. "NO THAT"S RIGHT YOU DIDN"T." at this point I notice that Nick looked confused. It all clicked he really didn't know how I felt about him. "Jesus you don't even know what I am talking about do you..." I asked him. "Uhh no"" Nick said full out scared of me at this point. "Well in for a penny in for a pound... Nick I am gay. I have been for as long as I can remember. The day you came to this home with me was the lowest point of my life I'd just lost everything a few months before. I know I never spoke about it to anyone mainly because I'd rather forget what happened. The day you came here was the day I was planning to end my life." I said softly I was still absolutely pissed don't get me wrong but if I was going to tell him this I wanted it to be at least somewhat of what I'd imagined considering this would probably be the last time we spoke. "Let me finish dude I've waited 2 years to get this all out. The day you came I was going to kill myself when you came into my room with the HM I was on the edge of doing it. When I saw you I lost all of the bad feelings they drained out of me. Because of this" Nick I fell in love you with the moment you entered my room. At first I thought it was just loneliness thing even though I have loads of friends I'd kept this secret for so long and with my families passing... I just couldn't live without my family. Than you came into my life and that all changed." Nick at this point was even more stunned than before. It was like he was 4 and I told him Santa wasn't real. "For 2 years I tried to get you to notice me or love me the way I have loved you. But like everything else in my life it wasn't meant to be. The reason I am so mad at you right now and why I walked out of lunch earlier was because of the affection you had been showing me. Before his mood change started I was going to give up and try and move on. But when you started hugging me all the time and saying how I made you feel special... I thought you were finally coming around and starting to feel about me like I do you." Nick now had a look of realization on his face followed by an immediately look of guilt. I couldn't hold the tears back anymore. But I had to finish I had to let him know why I was about to do what I was going to do. "This morning when you invited me to lunch I thought you were going to tell me what I'd been dying to hear since I saw you... I thought I was about to get what I wanted for once. But... But... we both know how that ended. I am not trying to blame you. I just need you to understand. When you brought me to meet your... when you brought that girl to meet me; it was like you'd stomped on my heart. Like you're purposely done all this to crush me. In which case you'd of succeeded I am officially crushed." Once I had finished I ran off. I couldn't see him anymore it just hurt it was pure pain now. I didn't have to say his name or even think about him my heart had been totally crushed and I was feeling its final beats as I ran to end my life. After I entered my room everything blurred out. It was like I didn't need help killing myself it seemed like my heart was literally shutting down like he had physically crushed my heart. I collapsed onto my knees as two figures enter my room. Neither was Nick they were both to tall and one was in a white shirt about 6.1 and amazing green eyes he was cracking his knuckles the other looked like the HM but the world went dark before I could notice anything else The last line of the poem rang in my head "I hurt but does he also hurt? Alas... I will not know for it is night and he is gone, and for this my love is a shadow." And that was it. I was gone. To be continued... Ok the order is going to be slightly changed. Lets see if you can figure out what just happened. It will help you understand the story before the next part comes if you can pull details from each part and put them together. Each part contained a few little clues they are hidden in speech between characters and in thoughts of Joe. The poem at the beginning was completely made up to be honest. I am not a poet or try to be one but when I looked around for a poem fitting the details needed for this story I couldn't find one. So it might be totally shit (probably is) or might be ok I don't know it's up to you the reader to decide. Also my editor didn't do this part of the story mainly because I'm working off of someone else's emotions and it's already difficult enough to edit without that. So every error is down to me and in no way his fault. Also feedback is heavily appreciated I am thinking of instead submitting shorter parts but allowing me to add more often. They won't be super short but about the size of this one. And before I go part 8 will be back onto Chris and Joe but it will explain how we got here. It also contains a very satisfying sex scene :)