Another disclaimer: If knowing next to nothing about sex is to be defined as innocence, then it's safe to assume that once the genie's out of the bottle, innocence will soon be lost. I suppose most readers will be glad to hear this... even if some others might not be. It's still what it is, though. It's life.
I never wanted to embarrass my parents, and I certainly didn't want them ever to be disappointed in me, so for the most part I was fairly obedient. Meaning: I usually behaved myself at school and made good grades, and when around adults, I had good manners.
Well, except for some adults who didn't have good manners, but even in cases like that I gradually came to accept that it was usually better to hold your tongue. Even in Miss McDaniel's class. She was my third grade teacher when we were in Fort Hood, Texas, which was where my father was stationed just before being transferred to West Berlin, which will soon lead back to Tiergarten and James Davies, who still had almost two hours before having to meet his mum at the park entrance, which was time enough for me to lose more of my innocence.
But actually my argument with Miss McDaniel ties almost directly into the story I started out with, because I was telling James about it. I had his undivided attention and I wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible, so here's the gist of it.
Miss McDaniel was asking people in my class for some good examples of how the settlers helped the American Indians, and as far as I was concerned there really weren't any good examples - and not only that, my father said almost the same thing. Because, among other things, our forefathers broke almost every treaty we ever made with them.
But anyway, she was going around the class asking for different examples, and when it was Bethany's turn she said that we'd taught them to wear clothes. And then she tittered. She was such a goody-goody... and not only that, she was a tattle-tale, and consequently she was also the teacher's pet. So I never liked her any more than I liked Miss McDaniel. As in, not any!
And I'm also sure that, by now, most can see about where this was headed, because when it was my turn, instead of trying to come up with another example of how we'd helped them, I said that I didn't think it was any of our forefathers' business how the Indians dressed, because they were here first. And then things started going slightly sideways when Miss McDaniel cut me off with something like: “I wasn't asking for a smart mouth answer, Colin, I was asking for an example of how we helped them by bringing them civilization.” And then she looked at me like she was just daring me to disagree, which only served to stir up a bad case of righteous indignation on my part, so I blurted out the very next thing that came to mind, which was...
“Well, okay, the settlers killed almost all the buffalo so the Indians would starve to death.” And then I glared back at her.
So that got me sent to the office, which soon led to Mr. Chambers, the principal, calling my mom and telling her I was being disrespectful again, and then jovially adding that he was glad I hadn't decided to take my clothes off in class to show how much I supported the American Indians. Because, yes, Miss McDaniel had mentioned how it looked like I thought being a naked savage was a good thing. And even though I really did think it was a good idea – as long as it wasn't too cold – I wouldn't have dreamed of taking all my clothes off in front of the whole class... until Mr. Chambers mentioned it.
Not that I ever did, I just thought it would be kind of interesting.
But once I was home, my mom wanted to know if I was still trying to embarrass her to death and grounded me for a week. But then, later on that evening, my father said he'd talk to me, and after telling me that he was a little disappointed because even if I was right, I still needed to respect my teachers - even if they're really dumb – but as long as I promised to try to do better, he'd try to talk my mom into cutting my sentence to just two days.
Then, noticing that I seemed to be finished for awhile, James asked, “So did they? Commute your sentence?”
“Does commute mean the same thing as cut shorter?”
“Yes, it does, Colin.”
So not only was I likely to learn some more about sex, I was also likely to have my vocabulary improved, and I thought if James was teaching me, I'd be a really good student, but...
I shrugged. “It didn't really matter because... well, because my room's just my own place, you know? So I guess the biggest thing was not having my mom real mad at me... and before long, she said we'd forget about it. If I didn't act like that again in class. … At least for awhile.”
“So I'm taking it that your dad's not overly inclined to playing the guilt card, and while your mom seems to have a flair for the dramatic, she's also willing to let bygones be bygones. … Is that close to the way it is?”
I made a wry face. “Yeah, I think so. So... what about your parents?”
“My parents.” Then after a pause, “I think as long as I don't reflect badly on them...” then after another pause...
“Actually, by now my most important family is at school. So... I could tell you about that if you'd like...”
Only we didn't reach any of the extra-curricular activities until later. But we were still in the woods and out of our clothes, and what was really great about it was that even if someone else had happened by, they still wouldn't have seen us unless they were going into the same thicket we were in, and that didn't seem too likely. So it was sort of like it was our hide-out and it was way cool.
But at first he was just telling me about the stuff you'd probably read in one the school's promotional brochures. Except I got the impression that the school he went to probably didn't even need to advertise, because apparently it was about as exclusive as you can possibly get. It was a very, very prestigious school and, according to James, a lot of the students were absolute snobs. So even though it was an all-boys school, grades 6 through 12 – except in England, they call grades forms, so James would be going into the third form – but in spite of there not being any girls and in spite of it being a boarding school, I didn't think I'd ever fit in there.
And I probably would have been treated as an outsider at first. And then there were those who would never accept me, but James said he'd be my friend. Without proper connections and a lot of money, there was no way I'd ever be going there, but he thought it was a pity, because we'd be special friends.
So then I was thinking that I'd love going to his school.
Even if he hadn't said what these special friends did when they were alone. But I was guessing they'd be like we were, and we'd probably end up doing what we'd just done to each other again. So I was certainly looking forward to that!
Only James said we should wait a little while because maybe – if I'd just be patient – he'd show me something that was even more special, but first, he needed to recuperate. I was stiff again almost as soon as he started talking about how he wished I could go to his school, and then when he said we'd probably be special friends, it almost felt like I was glowing inside, and I was definitely ready...
Only he still wasn't. Once into puberty, you can't always get it back up just like that. And he'd already jerked off two other times that day, with the last time being not too long before we did it to each other. Except he called it wanking. I think jerking off sounds better, though. (I'd heard of jerking off, but I didn't know what it was all about until James showed me.) (I wasn't going to ask my father about it... until maybe later. It sounded sort of interesting, but still...)
But anyway, he was telling me how once during games – which is the same as P.E. - they were playing football – which is what we call soccer – and he had a clear path to the goal, when a boy on the other side accidentally grabbed his shorts and all at once they were down around his ankles. But because he hadn't managed to score one bloody goal from the time he'd been there, he wasn't going to let his shorts get in the way and he managed to step one foot out of them and thus, he was the only boy in his form that year to score a goal while naked from the waist down.
So I was wondering. “You mean you didn't have any underwear on?”
“Pants,” James corrected. “But in games, we're not allowed to wear anything underneath our shorts. It's for hygienic reasons.”
“I think once we're in junior high we'll have to wear jock straps underneath ours, but... I bet it feels weird, huh? Not wearing anything at all underneath?”
“At first, it feels... odd, but you'd soon get used to it.”
“So what did your teacher say about it?”
“I'm not sure – because I was suddenly aware of being in one of those `be careful what you wish for' situations – but I believe Mr. Pettigrew said, `Good show, Davies! Now if you'll be so kind as to retrieve the rest of your kit, we'll carry on. … Unless, of course, you'd prefer staying as you are.' … And under the circumstances, I did not.”
“Well, I think I know what you meant by being careful what you wish for because something like that kind of happened to me once too, but if you don't mind my asking, what did you mean by that?”
James looked over at me and then, “If you promise to tell me all about what `kind of' happened to you: the whole truth and nothing but the truth, then I'll tell you. So is it a deal?”
“You're going first, right?”
“I will, and if you haven't already noticed, I'm getting another erection.” (It was a semi.) “But if I don't hold anything back, then it's only fair that you shouldn't either. Because I have the feeling there's what you might have told your parents – if it came to that - and then there's the unvarnished truth, and I want the truth!”
And then to demonstrate what would happen if he could somehow know I wasn't telling the truth, he started tickling me all over. And I'm ticklish – and I also didn't want to wet myself and probably him too - so finally I managed, “Okay, okay! I promise!”
So he put it on pause, even if he was still on top of me. His breath smelled like peanut butter and grape jelly. The same as mine did, because I'd given him one of my sandwiches. But I could feel his erection pressing up against my thigh, and by then it seemed to be beyond the semi stage. So if not for the threat of more tickling, I think I could have held out longer, but... “So tell me. Because you said you'd go first.”
He rolled off of me. (And he didn't really have to do that. I liked the way it was just fine.)
And that's an understatement – of course – but anyway, he rolled off, looked up at the sky and sighed. “You might think I'm strange, but actually, it's mostly in the form of a fantasy. But still, admitting to it... well, here goes.”
Then after taking a deep breath, “Until I was eleven, I was tutored at home. That's because a Davies would never go to a state school. It wasn't even worth mentioning, because it was beneath our status. So if you detect a tiny note of bitterness, Colin, you're quite right, because I fucking hated it. To this day, I don't care one iota...”
Then after taking another very deep breath, “Sorry. I shouldn't be acting like a petulant brat.”
“Sometimes, my mom says I'm being petulant too,” I offered.
He giggled. I loved the way he giggled. But then, “By now, I have the impression you can be that way, Colin.”
So since he seemed to be feeling better, I added, “But I'd sure hate to see you with a major note of bitterness, because if you...”
And then he started tickling me again, so after promising to just shut up about it...
He finally almost got to the good part. “Our reasons seem to be different,” he started, “but growing up, I was lonely too. I have two cousins who are about my age, but we didn't visit that often. And one of the two - Rowan – is a bloody idiot.” (Later on, mom said no, I couldn't say `bloody' either. But...)
“But then there was Graham,” he continued, “He's two years older and I worshiped the ground he walked on. I think you would've liked him as well, because he was a rebel! And he also introduced me to sex. I was about your age, and it was the dirtiest, naughtiest, most exciting thing ever!
“Except that, first of all, he had to coax me out of my clothes. I don't suppose it was to the point of being a full-blown phobia, but I did not want anyone seeing me naked!
“Even if I liked seeing Graham that way. So that was hardly fair of me, and finally, there I was, like the proverbial blushing bride and the earth did not swallow me... even if Graham did soon enough. Not on that first day, but...”
“That last part. I'm not sure what you mean,” I interrupted.
“Patience, Colin. Once I'm finished... and you're finished with your story... because that remark about taking all your clothes off in class, even if you really wouldn't, struck a chord. We might have something in common.”
“Really?” Too many big words or not, this was starting to sound interesting!
“Really. But... after finding my place here... ah yes. Here we go, a few months later, we were rummaging about in my uncle's attic and came across a treasure trove of Victorian naughty books. Unfortunately – a bit of foreshadowing here – Graham was rather taken by some of the pictures of extremely naked ladies. Although at least it didn't seem likely that we'd be running across any like that any time soon, so until then, we could continue with what we were up to with each other. So there was always that.
“But there were also some interesting erotic novels, and beyond that, more than a few English schoolboy novels. And as you well might have guessed, these novels bore very little resemblance to Tom Brown's School Days.”
“I started reading it one time, but I thought it was too preachy, so I gave up on it,” I interrupted again.
“I agree, but at least there were a few interesting thrashings, which gets us back to the schoolboy novels in my uncle's attic and why to this day, I'd rather not have him being terribly upset with me. A bit peeved, perhaps, beyond that, no.
“Except for all I know, he might have been more interested in being the spankee.”
Then after a shudder, “Still not an interesting idea. I'd say my uncle has a rather large bottom, so I honestly... don't... think... so.”
And then after clearing his throat again: “So. Moving past the thrashings, which often seemed to be more like medieval torture, the biggest reason I found those stories of students being whipped naked so interesting was the simple fact that they were naked. Often in front the entire school. And their penises would be bouncing, or they'd have an erection. And sometimes, the boy was horrified...
“But probably not as much as I would have been in the same situation. Once I'd been naked in front of Graham, I had no problems with doing it again. It was like taking my first jump off the high diving board. The first time, it looked to be ten stories down, and it didn't matter whether others had survived the plunge or not, I didn't think I could. Eventually I got my courage up, though, and after that, it was easy. Except that when it comes to taking my clothes off in front of anyone new, it's still not easy – or at least, not at first. But once I've taken the plunge again, it's all right.”
“Yeah, I noticed,” I said. “Now, it's okay and it's way cool, but when you pushed your under... your pants down, at first, you closed your eyes.”
“I did, didn't I?”
Then after another giggle, “Before I started school, I almost worried myself sick. It's proudly traditional, so what if that included corporal punishment? What if it was bare-bottomed? Or what if I couldn't force myself to undress before or after games and what if to teach me a lesson, I was stripped? What if to reinforce that lesson, I was made to play naked? All the others in their kits, leaving me as the center of attention. And what if I had an erection? My God!
“So, whether it was unlikely or not, I worried, even if at the same time, I was wanking myself silly. Not that there wasn't some guilt afterwards – quite a bit, to be honest – but I'm not so sure that I'd ever want to meet anyone who didn't feel at least some. As far as we know, we're the only species to have that emotion. Whether it's deserved or not, we often feel guilt, but I suppose that at least it gives us drama.
“So. That should explain why when my shorts were pulled down that day, I was wondering if it wasn't poetic justice.”
“What's poetry got to do with it?”
“Justice then. Simple justice.”
“Well, did you have an erection?”
“Not even close.”
“Did you cover yourself up with your hands?”
“Well, by that stage there really wouldn't have been much point in it, would there?”
“Don't guess so. You probably see each other naked often enough anyway.”
“Exactly. Boarding schools are a wonderful cure for modesty.”
“You know, when you said something about jumping off the high dive, I'm even worse. I know how to swim... good enough to keep from drowning anyway, but I still can't make myself go in head-first. I just can't!”
James shrugged. “Do it once, then it'll be easy. Usually, that's all it takes. … But does this have anything to do with the story you promised?”
“No, not really. Um... so you're finished with yours now?”
“Oh, I could go into greater detail, but then we'd have less time for those other activities.”
“Those special ones?”
“Okay! So... Well, okay. You said you really liked Graham. Your cousin. And maybe part of it was that he was older. My father says that's normal, though. Little kids look up to older kids. If they're really good in sports or whatever, if you're little, you might make that older boy almost like your hero, so I guess it's the same as like you said, worshiping the ground he walks on. Not really, but you know...
“I mean, nothing ever really happened between me and Chris... at least nothing like today, but he lived next door to us when we were in Fort Hood. And the day we moved in, he was with his folks when they came over to welcome us to the neighborhood. And, boy, did I notice him. I was too shy to say anything, but he was twelve. I pretty much figured that much out because his father was bragging on him: about how good a basketball player he was, and how he was on the eighth grade team in spite of only being in seventh grade, and if Chris had been acting real stuck up about it, then I don't think I would've liked him all that much, but he was blushing, like his father was embarrassing him, by saying all that stuff. … Like I should talk, because just before they left, when he started talking to me, I was probably blushing like crazy! I can't help it sometimes.
“But, anyway, he said something like: `Don't pay any attention to my dad, he thinks I'm way better than I really am. I hope one day I'm almost as good as he thinks I am, but anyway, just wanted to welcome you to our neighborhood, all right?”
Then after a fairly deep breath, “So that's the first part. Because see, he was a nice guy, but it seemed like there were always lots of other boys his age playing basketball in his driveway, and the problem was, I was only nine and couldn't play worth anything.
“… `Cept my father, he played basketball in high school, not like All-State or anything, but he was still pretty good, and he noticed how I'd be looking out my window and watching them play, so he started helping me out a lot, and least now I can handle the ball pretty good... He says until I have enough strength to do anything besides just throwing the ball up at the basket, I shouldn't worry too much about shooting, because I'd just be learning bad habits... you know, when you're shooting... but I guess the main thing is, I was always wishing I was as good as Chris was. Because he is really good. Even if he says he's not.”
And then I noticed James taking a quick glance at his watch, so taking that as a hint, I made another face and said, “But I guess I should be getting to the part where you were saying you should be careful what you wish for, and I was saying it sort of happened to me too, right?”
“Oh, we still have lots of time, but... yes, let's get to that part.”
“Well, okay then. But you know what? You sort of remind me of Chris. You're about the same size and he was good looking and so are you. … You don't mind me saying that, do you?”
Then for about a minute I thought he was going to die laughing. Although he did manage to say that he didn't mind and something else about how he guessed I could spend just a little more time telling him how good looking he was, but finally, he straightened up and said, “I think you look very nice too, Colin, but...”
And then he looked at me expectantly, so even though I was blushing again... “It's not very long, really. There was a little park not too far away from our house, and behind that, going towards the swimming pool, there were some woods. Not like out here, but there were some good places where nobody could see you, and lots of times in the summer, I'd go out there, and I'd take all my clothes off. Because it felt good, you know? And besides, in Texas, it gets hot in the summer. But out in those woods, you're in the shade... it's still hot, but it feels better than if you're out in the sun. And I loved being naked.
“But I was also wishing I could go everywhere like that. In Ancient Greece you could – if you were our age – and while I'm pretty sure the American Indians didn't go completely naked, there were some tribes where the boys might as well have been, because all they wore were loin cloths. And they were like short loin cloths.
“But in my private domain – because that's what I was pretending – you went completely naked. Clothes were not allowed. Period.
“Only thing was, though, about all I could do after taking my clothes off was just sit there – if I'd known about wanking then, I would have been doing plenty of that – but I didn't know about it, so I'm just sitting there, and pretty soon that gets boring. I wanted to run, and jump, and turn cartwheels... or try turning cartwheels. Sometimes, I almost can, other times, not so hot.
“But anyway, pretty soon I was running and jumping and trying to turn cartwheels... out in the woods still, but not completely hid any more.
“And nobody ever saw me. One time, some girls almost did, but I heard them coming down the path just in the nick of time, so I hid fast!
“But then... a few days later, I dared myself to run all the way out to that path. And then I had to do five jumping jacks. Right out in the middle of the path. Because it was like an initiation.
“And nobody saw me. Because really, there weren't many people using that path. Maybe like... oh, I don't know, ten or twenty a day, so most of the time... I mean, it was possible, but it was fun taking a chance. I didn't really want anybody to see me, but still...”
“Russian Roulette,” James offered.
And after screwing my face up, “Well... I'm pretty sure I had better than a one out of six chance, but, yeah, I guess. … Except I already had a good excuse just in case somebody did see me, I was going to say that a gang of boys jumped me and took all my clothes off and then ran away just laughing like crazy.
“And that's where it starts getting to the part about being careful what you wish for, because I didn't want anybody to see me, but I guess maybe a little, I really did. I haven't figured that part out yet.
“But when I dared myself to run all the way to the edge of the woods, on that path, at least I had enough sense not be skipping or jumping or trying to turn cartwheels, because if I ran into somebody, then if you're going to tell them about being jumped by a gang, you're not supposed to be acting like you're happy about it, you know?”
“Good thinking, Colin. Very good.”
“Yeah, I thought so too. But anyway, I didn't get caught again. Not that time. Even if I almost did. I got to the edge of the woods... beyond that, it was like a big field, and I saw five or six boys heading my way and if they'd happened to be looking in my direction, they would have seen me, sure as the world. But lucky for me, they weren't, so I ducked back into the woods and sneaked back to my clothes and I was saying to myself, `You are just stupid, stupid, stupid!'
“So I didn't do anything like that again... for either three or four days.... Stop laughing, James, it's really not that funny!”
“But it is!”
So in other words, he was liking my story, but finally, we straightened up, and after yet another fairly deep breath...
“I was just going to run out to the middle of the path. Not all the way to edge of the woods again. But it was like my final test to be a warrior. But I still knew I was taking a dumb chance... and when I almost ran right in to Chris Talley... you know, my next door neighbor, the one I looked up to so much... well, he said I looked like I was scared to death!”
“Colin, your story now tops mine, okay?”
“Well, in a way, it gets even better,” I said proudly, “because at first, Chris was saying that he going to find those boys and he was going to kick their butts, but then he happened to think about how I was supposed to get back home without my clothes on.
“I mean, the first thing he said... right after something like: `Oh my God, Colin, what happened?' - and then I was trying to tell him - of course – about those boys... but anyway, that's when he cut me off with `But first, I guess we need to get out of sight.'
“So we did. Fast. And even if I was fibbing, it was already like he was trying to protect me, you know?”
“Your knight in shining armor.”
“Yeah, pretty much like that. But he thought about it a second or so... and he said it, he said, `Now let me think', and then he said, `Well, okay then. This is what we're going to do. I'm on my way back from swim practice, so I'm still wearing my swim suit underneath my shorts, so nobody can see us, and since my suit'll probably fit you better than my shorts will, I'll let you wear it back.' I'm almost sure that's almost exactly what he said.
“And then, it got even better when he pulled his shirt off , and he said I could wear that too! It was a Houston Astro shirt, and it came about down to my knees. But that meant...”
“That you were about to see your knight in shining armor without his armor,” James finished.
“Uh huh. And...”
“Was it nice?”
… “You mean his penis and all?”
“Well, of course!”
“Um... well, he didn't have any hair...or maybe it was just barely starting, I don't know... and I don't guess it was a whole, whole lot bigger than mine was...”
“Had you popped one?”
… “Yeah, it tickled, so I probably had. … But I already had his shirt on.”
Then, before he could interrupt me again, I finished with, “But the thing is, I think he might have sort of suspected that I wasn't exactly telling him the truth, because for a few seconds after he pulled his shorts and his Speedos off, he was just standing there completely naked and he said something like, `You know, actually, this feels pretty nice. Are you sure...'
“And then it was like he stopped himself and he sort of shrugged... and... well, then we got dressed.”
“Very anti-climatically,” James interrupted again.
And so after explaining what an anti-climax was, I had to agree. After that, it mostly was.
But him carrying me piggy-back most of the way back to his house was nice, even if he was just being practical. His Speedos were still a little large in the waist for me, so until then I was constantly having to pull them back up.
I still had the shorts he let me wear once we were back at his house, though. They were some he'd outgrown, but...
Well, he was really cool. Most twelve-year-olds would have been making no effort to be nice about it. I think if you're twelve or so and you catch a nine-year-old in an embarrassing situation, you're eventually going to tease him mercilessly, but he never did that.
But he was starting to like girls – I could tell, because some were often hanging around – and he had other friends a lot closer to his age.
And besides, before long, I knew we'd be moving again. But knowing what I know now, Chris could have done anything he wanted to do with me.
Just as James could have.
Even back there.
Because James sure as hell went almost every place else.
And he was also about to drive me out of my mind, because he took his time.
So that's another good word I learned that day: erogenous. I had no idea I had so many erogenous places.
But of course, I followed suit. It wouldn't have been fair if I hadn't, and I wanted to anyway.
But even if he was getting awfully close to it, I still didn't know if he was really going to put my penis in his mouth.
Except then, he got closer still, and with patience not being one of my greater virtues, I decided to kiss his. That's all, I'd just kiss it. And it didn't seem yucky at all, but...
Well, it was a surprise even if it wasn't. What I mean is, by then I had a good idea what he'd meant when he said Graham had swallowed him, but when James suddenly swallowed all of me, I still couldn't believe how good it felt. Not even close. I even had to stop doing what I was doing to him, because all at once, everything was focused between my legs. It was like nothing else existed.
And besides, he told me to relax. Let him do all the work for awhile.
Relaxing was out of the question until my orgasm happened again, though.
But after that, I was very relaxed. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world.
Then, once I was almost recovered, he said I really didn't have to do the same to him if I didn't feel quite up to it yet. Exactly what you'd expect from a knight.
But I did want to, and even if there was no way I could manage all of it, it was still the most wonderful...
It was the most wonderful feeling in the whole, wide world!
A quick postscript here: I really wouldn't mind hearing from more readers. I've heard from some, but...
But anyway, there's one more chapter to go, and I'll try to have it finished soon. I'd like to say within a week's time, but really, it'll not be too long.
Maybe two weeks, though.
So if you'd like, I can certainly let you know when for better or worse, it's finally all done.
Copyright 2012: all rights reserved. Please do not reprint, repost or otherwise reproduce this or any part thereof anywhere without my written permission.