Date: Tue, 27 Feb 2001 01:27:15 -0700 From: Brian R Subject: Love and Almost Lost ----------------------------------------------------------------------- The following story is based on actual events. Names, however, with the exception of Brian and other main characters, are completely made up. Therefore, any resemblance to actual events (other than the one on which it is based) is of by an unimaginable measure of chance. If you are not 18 you shouldn't be reading these, either. Of course, I have no control over who reads this, so personally, I don't care. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Life absolutely sucks sometimes. And other times it, well, doesn't. The seventh grade had been the most socially enlightening year of my life and eighth was due to begin in less than two weeks. To say the least I was ecstatic! Nothing could please me more than to go back to school and flaunt my newfound popularity. The phone had rung four times before I actually heard it. Hmm.. Must've been basking in my self-image. 'Oh well, I can get back to that later', I thought. I picked it up and Al on the line. "Hey, Bri, what's up?" "Nothing, just sitting here thinking about school." "Oh, really? Well, I was just wondering if you wanted to go to the mall and get some new clothes for school." "Oh, sorry, Al, I already went with JB. Maybe next time?" "OK..Well, damn! Now I get to go with Mike alone. This should be 'fun'!" Allison and I had been friends for more than six months, though two of those I had spent in Ohio with my grandmother (like I had every year). We were practically inseparable in school, but didn't see a whole lot of each other out. We talked for about two more minutes before hanging up. I went back to my own little paradise and continued pondering my social status for a while longer. My thoughts were suddenly interrupted when my mom called me for dinner. "My mom" -- there's an oxymoron if I've ever heard one. The woman really doesn't try but doesn't know the first thing about raising a teenager. At least I was a guy; she has two younger brothers and used to baby-sit a lot. She does deserve credit for buying the food she lets me cook and letting me live with her, though. Anyway, after that night, time flew. Before I knew it I was sitting in my first period, Algebra 1, waiting for the bell to ring. To my left sat JB, my #1 best pal. To my right was Al, and to my back was Andrew. Of course, as the astute student I am, I was sitting front-center. In she strolled just as the bell ring. The object of my desire, Eril McKeen. Oh God, was she hot! Out of everyone I knew she was the only one that wouldn't so much as look at me. I mean, I wasn't that cute, but a simple 'hi' would suffice! I watched her carefully for the rest of the class period, then, as students do, compared my schedule to hers. We had no other classes together. That was definitely a good thing! I could actually get some work done! Behind her sat a kid I hadn't yet met. He had been at my school as long as I had but we had never been together in a class. We introduced ourselves and talked till the bell rang. Apparently his name was Kent and we, miraculously, had the exact same schedules! He was a little shy but very cool once you started talking and was known for having a similar social standing as me. One small problem, though. Kent and Eril were dating! Just my luck! Oh well. At least I've got a new friend. The weeks flew by once again. Kent and I got to know each other very well and became best of friends. This was perfect since about two weeks in to school JB left for Virginia. On top of that, Al and I had drawn closer than ever. One day we decided to call each other after my mom left for work (both her and my step-dad worked nights). That night we talked about everything. Which guys she liked, which girls I liked. Then she popped an *interesting* question. "So, Brian, what's up between you and Kent?" "Wha-What do you mean?" "I see how you look at him. You guys got something going on that I don't know about?" I had to step back and contemplate this for a few. Me, liking guys? I guess I had let it slip a few times that one guy looked better than another. And, truth be told, I never really did like Eril sexually. She was mysterious and all the other guys looked at her like a dog looks at filet minon. But Kent was, well, he was hot in every respect. I had looked at him googly-eyed for weeks and didn't even notice it. "Well, um.. well, I guess I wish there was, sorta." "Really? Have you told him you're gay?" "GAY? Wait, I'm NOT gay! Well, I mean, I don't think.." "Bri, do you like guys?" "Well, yeah, I guess I do." "Like you'd like to rip their clothes off and screw 'em right there?" OK, so Al's a little blunt. "Well, I don't know. But I guess Kent does look pretty good." "OK, what about girls? Do you like girls?" "Uh, well, I, uh...no." "So you're gay then?" Click. I had to hang up. It was a need. I couldn't keep talking about it. I knew she'd be calling back but I had to think. I REALLY had to think. It had never occurred to me before, but I honestly had feelings for this guy. It was the same way with JB. Being around them made me feel secure. The phenomenon of 'random erections' didn't seem so random when it came to me. JB, Kent, Mark; any one of the many hot guys in my school could turn me on in an instant. That wasn't the problem, though. When Al called back, which I knew she would, what would I say? What would I tell her? This could ruin the rest of my life as I knew it. I couldn't let that happen. I wouldn't let that happen. Two minutes. Five minutes. Time was passing so quickly, but nonetheless, it was passing. 'Maybe she won't call. Maybe I won't have to deal with this till tomorrow. Maybe I..' Riiinng! DAMNIT! "Hi. Why did you hang up?!" "I didn't. The line cut out." "OK. Well, do you want to go or are you going to be alright?" "I'm fine. I guess I just got weirded out." "Oh, ok. Well, what do you wanna talk about?" "Um...you, uh, you're not gonna tell everyone, are you?" "Of course not! Come on BriBri! We can tell each other anything!" "Are you sure you're ok with it?" "Brian, I want you to know something." "OK.. What?" "I'm still not too sure, but I think I may be bi. It's not like it's anything to be ashamed of. It's just a way some people act and live. It's ok no matter what you are. I'll still love you Brian! You know that!" "I know. It's just that.. well, I never really thought about this before. I guess I really do like guys. But, well, is it OK?" "Yes, BriBri! It's perfectly OK. And don't let anyone tell you it's not, ok?" "OK, don't worry. I won't." "OK, well, look. It's almost 2AM and we've got school in the morning. I'm gonna go, ok?" "OK. Yeah, I'm kinda tired, too. I'll cya. Oh, and remember, don't tell anyone!" "Brian, come on! I'm not gonna." "OK, I just don-" "Goodnight, Brian!" "Goodnight." Over the next few weeks we talked about everything. Our dream guys, most wanted fucks, the orgy we'd love to have. It was great! I had never been that open about sex in my entire life and felt like I was finally opening up! More than that, I wasn't scared to have feelings about people that I thought were weird. If Al could accept it the rest of the world would eventually be forced to. Perhaps that was my mistake, though. One night, just after Christmas break, Kent, Al, and I talked on a conference call. We talked about masturbation, played "Truth or Truth", and talked about penis size. All of these were Al's ideas. It was like she was deliberately trying to force me to come out! After Kent left, Al and I began talking alone. That night, I agreed to allow her to tell Kent everything about me. I guess I wasn't thinking about the consequences that could be introduced by this. I figured if anything, I'd lose a friend. Oh, God, if I only knew. Thursday morning I arrived at school just like any other day. I walked up to Kent and he turned and walked away without saying a word. Oh no. He knew something already. "Brian Rellis. Please come to the counseling center. Brian Rellis, to the counseling center please." It beckoned over the loudspeaker. Everyone in the hallway turned and stared right at me. As I began my trek through the crowd that had formed, Eril shot a scowling look at me while Al cowered in the corner barely looking at me. Something had gone wrong. Something had gone horribly wrong. More than anything, my life was about to take a drastic turn. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Lots more to come soon! Stay tuned! E-mail your comments/questions to heimidal_gmr@hotmail.com