Date: Wed, 23 Oct 2002 00:21:46 -0500 From: Matt Holmes Subject: Love and Fate WARNING: If you are not interested in boy/boy relationship type stories, or are offended by sex between underage boys, READ NO FURTHER. This story is pure fiction. Any relation to anyone living/dead is unintentional. I had originally written this story under a different title, however I don't really like it, and I had to rewrite the first chapter because it was too bare. I didn't get to build the foundation that it needed. I think I've done a little better a job on it now, and I would like any good comments, or constructive criticism, sent to love_and_fate@hotmail.com Sorry about the re-posting crap, but I needed to make sure I included everything I needed to say in the first chapter. Otherwise, I would have run into the same problem as with the original, Love and Fate. Please forgive me. PLEASE?! *L* Ok, enough babble. Enjoy. Jordan Blake was the only son of a rich Lawyer family in New York City. His parents were very well off, from both their legal careers and their market investments. His father had many friends in the local and state government. The Blake's were much respected in the community. Their house was a masterpiece in Upscale New York, one of the most expensive houses in the city. Jordan was a rather spoiled child, getting pretty much whatever he wanted, though he never considered those less wealthy to be beneath him. Any one whom he felt was a good-natured person was given equal treatment, regardless of their social class. At thirteen years old, Jordan was of average height and weight, startling blue eyes, blond hair, kissable cherry lips, a killer smile, and black wire-rimmed glasses that seemed to compliment his radiant face. He was slim, with a round, prepubescent tummy diminishing as puberty began to take control of his body. By looking at him, you couldn't tell he was gay. He had no stereotypical gay traits. He appeared to be as straight as the next kid. This kept the gay jokes down to a minimum. Not that anything would stop bullies from finding something to make fun of, but one less strike against him made life that much easier. The girls often hounded him, hoping that one would be so blessed to be able to go out with the God-like creature that is Jordan Blake. Truth be told, he could have had any girl in the school. But, it was not meant to be. Most of the time, he preferred to stay in the background, keeping himself out of the spotlight that sometimes came with being of a wealthy family, not to mention looks to die for. Jordan had always been attracted to boys. He would spend many hours sitting in class, shifting his eyes around, admiring the other beautiful boys around him. Girls just never did anything for him. Even now, as he was beginning his adventure into puberty, girls failed to catch his attention. He could admire their beauty, but was never attracted to them. This fact only increased his need to express his feelings for the boys around him. Of course, a boy looking for a boyfriend is a lot more difficult than if he were looking for a girlfriend. Thus, Jordan spent many days both excited, and depressed by seeing other boys around him, knowing that he probably would never find a boy that would feel the same about him. Jordan was a very intelligent boy. He was very knowledgeable in computers and always had the very best quality components installed into his computer. He excelled in all his subjects, often classified as a "teacher's pet." This tended to increase the insults from others around him. He didn't care, because he wanted to make something of his life. He was almost a straight "A" student, his favorite subjects being Math, Science, computers, and of course, Gym. The boys were like eye candy: beautiful faces and bodies losing their boyish figures and taking on a more adult frame. It was a Wednesday, the first day of the eighth grade, his sky blue eyes opened, he groaned, stretched his body this way and that to loosen up his muscles, and slowly climbed out of his full size bed. He clumsily walked toward his private bathroom, walked in, and began his morning ritual. As he stared at himself, he noticed the tent in his briefs: morning wood, a common male anomaly. He was only wearing a white tee and briefs, and mid calf socks. The bulge in his pants showed a developing endowment. He grabbed his tee and pulled it over and off his body, which was sweaty from the long night. He slid his thumbs under his briefs and quickly pulled them down and off. There he stood with his 5 inch erection, with his quarter sized balls and small bush of hair developing above his penis. He started the Jacuzzi style bath, and then slipped into the hot, soothing water. After running the soap all over his body, he relaxed and closed his eyes and began to dream. He dreamt of some of the boys he knew from school, and from his soccer team. He dreamt on still, dreamt into the locker rooms where they showered before and after practice or phys Ed. He knew for a couple of years that looking at other boys, dreaming about him gave him weird feelings inside that he didn't know how to explain at the time. In between then and now, he learned that society would deem him a "fag" for the feelings he intends to pursue. As much a problem as it actually is, Jordan knew that he would believe what he wants to believe, not what others want him to believe. He came to the simple conclusion that he likes boys and he will have a boyfriend some day. He knew that he should wait a few years to come out to anyone. As always, the ignorant think that it's something a boy will "grow out of,." Who know? Maybe he would. But right now he saw no end in sight, and he didn't want to hear all the bullshit, so he saw no point in making that decision. His cock once again began to fill with blood and become erect. Jordan grinned at the sensation of his hard on surrounded in warm soothing water. He let the feeling linger for a bit before finishing up. After bathing, he stumbled down the stairs to the dining area, and the butler walked up with his breakfast. "Morning, sir. How are we today?" "Who the hell are you to talk to me like that?" Jordan yelled. The butler was taken aback, and seemed confused as to what he did wrong. Jordan's face changed from anger to a devious grin, finishing with "You are never to call me 'sir' again. Now sit down and watch me eat." "Very well, Jordan" the butler stated, then took a seat at the table. The Blake's were very busy people. With all the court trials, hearings, and the like, not much time was left to take care of Jordan. They decided to hire a housekeeper to lighten the load. Jordan never took offense at the hiring of a helping hand, because law was his parents' profession. The absence of time is a given, as trials can get very involved at times. It was very lonely for him at times, but Jordan would always find his servant when he was feeling really bad, and John, the butler, never failed to cheer him up. Jordan talked with his butler about his school work, his computer, and other things as he finished his breakfast. He was never the kind of person to flaunt his family name, and the money and power that came with it, around. He treated everyone the same. Needless to say, the butler was very happy to be around this young lad. After breakfast, Jordan was taken to one of the cars, and driven to school by the same man whom had served him breakfast that morning. And of course, the car which was chosen was the least expensive one, since he wouldn't be caught dead in such a sickeningly expensive car that basically said "I'm too good to ride in a bus with you NORMAL people." Once again, Jordan returned to the school he so loathed throughout 6th and 7th grades, but this year would be different, because he was in 8th grade. Eighth graders were the kings of the school. Then again, kings don't often stand in the corner, so he didn't know quite how that was going to work out. The ride to school was quiet and tense. Anyone could tell how nervous Jordan was about returning to the school where he left no mark. He tried to be more outgoing every year, but his poor self-esteem would push him back into his favorite wall in the commons, or his secluded table at lunch. He had a couple of acquaintances which he hung around with at school, but he was never close enough to any of them to call them friends. Except maybe Ryan. Ryan was his age, as shy as Jordan, with light brown hair and bright green eyes. Ryan could always hold Jordan's attention with those beautiful eyes. The two boys spent their lunch together on a daily basis, as well as some after school time doing something computer related. Rarely did either boy go to the other's house, but Jordan thought it the best. For, if Jordan was to go over to Ryan's house, which would mean eventually, he'd have to take Ryan to his. Ryan was pretty low on the social ladder. Jordan did feel sorry for him, but that wasn't the reason he hung out with him. It was the arrow in his pants that always seemed to point to Ryan when he was around. The arrow knows what it wants. Despite his obvious attraction, he was a bit scared, for many reasons. Rejection was a large factor. He didn't want to be hurt by his friend rejecting his advances. He was also afraid of being outed at school, and to his parents. He was still not 100% sure that boys would be all he ever wanted, so he wasn't ready to shout to the world that he was gay. Being outed at school could be devastating to his emotional, as well as physical well being. As always, his inhibitions kept him going no further than quick peeks, and fantasies involving Ryan. He knew it wouldn't quell his desires forever, but for the time being, he was able to keep his hormones under control. Jordan met up with Ryan in the halls before the beginning of class. "Hey, man" Jordan mumbled quietly. "What's up Jordan?" Ryan asked in a voice, if it was possible, even lower than Jordan's. His eyes showed a hint of...infatuation. Maybe it was because Jordan was higher class and Ryan wished to be on the same level. Maybe it was something else. Jordan had considered Ryan's behavior around him as a sign that he may at least be in the middle, but he was far from having an accurate gaydar, so all he would do is revel in the feeling that Ryan may actually be coming on to him. Jordan needed to knock himself out of his trance once he noticed a bulge in his pants that he wouldn't want Ryan to see. "Another year of hell at Roosevelt Middle School." "How was your summer?" "Not bad," Jordan responded. Conversation of the superficial subjects continued until the warning bell to first period. Jordan waved to his.....to Ryan as he walked toward his locker to test his combination, after which heading to his first period class. His first period was history, a most agonizingly boring subject. It didn't really matter how boring it was though. For, Jordan could always get average or above grades regardless of whether or not he paid attention in class. He was happy to have Ryan in his class the first period of every day. 'That'll wake me up every day for sure,' he thought. He was so good looking in Jordan's eyes. Extreme eye candy. Ryan and Jordan would go to computer club together, hang out during the summer and after school together and just generally screw around when time allowed. Ryan was quite good looking as well. However, he did not seem to have as many girls falling all over him as did Jordan. "Hey Jord, wussup?" Ryan whispered to his friend. "Sssh, don't get me in trouble," he whispered back. "Wanna hang out after school?" How could Jordan pass that offer up? "Sure!" Jordan blurted out, not so quietly. "Jordan, do you have something to say?" Mr. Allen asked him. "Umm, no. I'm sorry, sir." Jordan looked down at his desk, and didn't speak for the rest of the period, despite Ryan's attempts to get a rise out of him. It wasn't until lunch that he started up again. The rest of the day, Jordan tried to show himself more, to get involved in some interesting class conversations. It was the first day, so each teacher basically just took half the class giving out books, and explaining the rules. The remainder was left to give the students a chance to catch up with their friends. The day went quickly, and Jordan's bag got heavier and heavier as the teachers piled the books on higher and higher. The new teachers were boring as usual. Jordan met up with Ryan outside the cafeteria. "Hey man, sorry about earlier. But you DID get me in trouble." "Sorry 'bout that, man," Ryan apologized. Ryan was two faced. He could be open and funny, cracking jokes and getting Jordan in trouble one day. The next, he was clammed up and introverted. His family was lower middle-class. Though he was very smart, he didn't show it, as he would be deemed a nerd and his social life would be that much worse. Jordan saw through it all anyway. He knew what his friend was like inside. All through the day, he continued scouting out the classrooms for cute boys, as he always did. Classes were pretty simple: issuing of books, list of needed materials, and free time to talk. Jordan kept quiet and doodled on his notepad until the end of classes. Last period of the day was gym. He loved gym. Lots of eye candy for him. Especially on Tuesdays (swimming day). As much as all boys try to cover up while in the nude, their attempts always fail, and those looking for the opportunity to see some flesh, namely Jordan, would be granted with a generous portion of prepubescent boy meat. Just his luck, Ryan was in that class with him as well! He couldn't wait to see Ryan change for swimming. Hiding his erection may be a problem though. Jordan dressed down quickly, so as not to divert attention to the flagpole in the middle of his body. 'Only 6 more days till Tuesday!' Jordan thought. That's how he got through the loneliness. After school let out, Jordan was picked up by the same man who dropped him off. He was quiet all the way home, and upon arriving, he went straight up to his room, immersing himself in the wonders of the Internet, reading love stories and talking to other gay teens on the anonymous chat rooms that allow him to truly be himself with other people. Around 7, he ambled downstairs and asked John to make him some spaghetti, which was finished and devoured in no time flat. John just sat back and watched in amazement at the speed at which the food disappeared from Jordan's plate. Jordan looked up to a wide eyed John and asked, "what?" John just laughed and replied, "Nothing." He patted a confused Jordan on the shoulder and turned toward the kitchen to clean up, whistling a peppy tune. Jordan just shook his head, the joke gone completely over his head. After dinner, Jordan returned to his domicile and went back on his computer, looking at young star sites, with pictures of his favorite actors, which made him very horny. At one point his erection was so hard he had to stop browsing completely, and plop himself down on the bed and gently stroke himself to a powerful orgasm, breaking out of the ecstatic euphoria long enough to pull up the covers and fall into a peaceful slumber. He had a dream that night, a dream in which he found a soul mate, one that he could love and would love him back. They made passionate love that night, in his beautiful and creative mind. If only one day his dreams would come to life, and he could find true love and happiness in his life. His day would come. *** As Chris Anderson woke at 4 am, he stretched about in the bed, loosening up his tight muscles, to prepare for his paper route delivery before another long day at school. He hurriedly showered and dressed for school, then went around and woke up his two brothers Jake, 11, and Matt, 8, for school. As he walked into the bathroom to retrieve fix his hair, he looked at himself in the mirror. He was tall for his age, already well into puberty, was very thin. Not anorexia thin, but thin. He was very busy with his life that all the eating he did never exceeded the energy he used. He had light brown hair and wonderful green eyes that caught the eyes of many girls, and a few guys, in school. He could have been a star athlete, but his tight schedule never allowed for more than a weekly workout. The family lived in a middle class neighborhood, in a small ranch house with 3 bedrooms. The master bedroom was medium sized, with a bathroom connected to it, which also doubled as the family bathroom. Matt and Jake lived in a smaller bedroom across the hall, Chris having his own room down in the basement, off the family room. As the two young ones ambled down to the kitchen, Matt declared, "I want some pancakes and sausage!" "Yeah! And some scrambled eggs too!" Jake added. Chris was rather disheartened at his brothers' demands. His family was on the low side of middle class. His mother worked a factory job all day, and his father a manager at a local food mart. Money wasn't exactly thrown around in that house. In addition to the paper route Jordan had in the morning, his night job at Burger King also helped to bring in some extra spending money, which he normally spent, at least in part, on his two brothers. Truth be told, Jake was always Chris' favorite. He helped his younger brother with his homework, played games with him, hung out with him on the weekends, and other activities. Jacob always seemed to need extra attention, as he felt a little alone being the middle child. Chris was happy to brighten his brother's day. Not that he never spent time with the baby of the family, Matt, but Matt always seemed to enjoy himself more when he was alone. At least Chris knew that both of them were happy, despite some of the strikes against them. Both his brothers, Chris knew, were going to be serious head turners when they matured. Chris tried to fix the situation temporarily. "We don't have any. How about Rice Crispies?" "Awe man..." Matt sighed, "We ALWAYS have Rice Crispies for breakfast!" Chris frowned when he saw the look on Matt's face. The feeling he knew all too well. It was a feeling of resentment, pleading, wishing that things would get better. That they could have everything all their friends have. "Look, I'll try to get some tonight after school, and then you can have 'em tomorrow for breakfast. Ok?" Jake smiled a bit, and then agreed. "Ok, but you better get some tonight!" Chris decided not to comment. Instead he just indulged himself in a bowl, scarfing down the cereal quickly, then heading out to do his paper route. Chris breezed through the streets on his bike, delivering the days papers, lost in thought. His biggest thought, of course, was that of his girlfriend, Jennifer. They had been going out for a few months, and were kissing, holding hands, and spending as much time as possible together. Jenn was everything Chris wanted in a girlfriend. While the boys ate breakfast, Chris went out to the garage to retrieve his bike, and started on his paper route. As he passed all the houses in the slightly more upscale neighborhood north of his, he wondered what it would be like to be rich. Not filthy rich, but comfortable. The boys would never go hungry; their living situation would be more open, less like a little closet living space. His family wouldn't be looked down upon by the upscale types; he could spoil the hell out of his girlfriend. Things would just be better. If only one day his family got lucky and struck it rich. Everything would change. After finishing his route and returning home, he made sure the boys had on clean clothes, sack lunches packed, homework done. He was like a father to them, and that's exactly how Jake and Matt looked at them. Not to say that they didn't think of their own father that way, but it was nice to have an older brother that looked out for them. Chris walked his rat pack to their bus, then biked to the Middle school. He was an 8th grader, not much ever enjoying school. Though he was far more intelligent than he let on, he never really felt the need to excel beyond average, because that's all he ever thought of himself as. Minimal work for acceptable grades. That was fine with him, and his parents. He didn't like the idea of being a geek. He just liked to have fun with his cool and popular friends, never allowing himself to be cast out of the social group he was in. Sometimes it was tough not to show off in algebra, when the answer was plain as day and no one saw it. He would bite his tongue when he thought of raising his hand to answer the question. After all, he didn't have to show off in practice, just do well on the tests. Upon arriving to the first day of the eighth grade, Chris met up with his "ghetto buddies" as he referred to them, and joked along with them, picking on a scrawny little new kid that didn't have enough confidence to defend himself. "Hey, shrimp," Chris started, "you lost?" The boy was frowning and looked as if he was so confused and afraid he was about to burst into tears. "Yea," Sam, one of Chris' friends chimed in, "you gonna go call your mommy?" "Lemme alone!" the boy yelled. He was tearing up now. "What a fuckin' pussy," Kevin included. "Run along sissy boy." The three boys burst out laughing as the young boy ran off crying. "What a little fag!" Sam exclaimed. "Yea, fuckin' pussy fag boy," Kevin added. Chris laughed along, though he silently felt for the young boy. He knew what it was like to feel alone. All the friends he ever found himself around suddenly seemed so low, even for Chris. He just walked away after that. "Where you goin' man?" Kevin questioned. "He's probly gonna go find that kid and fuck 'em in the bathroom," Sam answered. Chris was so enraged now that he turned on his heel, face beet red with anger, and with a deep growl, said "that was not cool, guys. Fuck this, I'm outta here." Chris stormed off and walked over to his first class, sat down and tried to cool off before class started. He sat down at a desk in the back, and then thought against sitting there. If he sat there, chances are his "friends" would most likely sit there too. He got up and moved towards the front, where his girlfriend sat, with her golden hair and sparkling green eyes. He looked her over, a perfect figure, licked his lips, and a thought crossed his mind. 'She's not as cute as that new kid...WHAT? Ok that was weird....I gotta get laid. It's been so long I'm starting to get horny over EVERYONE!' Chris shook off the strange thoughts and listened in when class started. It was standard first day stuff: books, rules, and free time. Chris turned to Jennifer and started turning on the charm. "Hey, Jenn. God, you look pretty. I like what you've done with your hair this year." Jenn blushed and giggled at such a flattering comment. And so the conversation continued. It was all Chris could do to keep his hands off of her until they were out of school. The day wore on, with the teachers reading their first-day scripts with such a rehearsed and monotone voice that it was almost ridiculous. Once classes were let out at the end of the day, Chris headed over to Mel's locker. "Hey Jenn," he greeted his sweetheart. "You wanna go over to Friday's with me?" She let out her delightful high-pitched giggle and nodded, quickly following Chris out to their bikes, then following him across the street to a local mini-mall. The two locked up their bikes and went inside. Chris was all over her while they were waiting for their food, kissing her on her neck and face, holding her hand, even lightly petting her thigh. Jennifer was ecstatic to get this much attention from a boy from the more popular crowd. 'New kid...' Chris shuddered at the thought. "You okay Chris?" Jenn asked him. "Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry." The two continued to eat and talk, and then parted ways. Chris biked the rest of the way home and his younger brothers were there, waiting for some sort of sustenance. Chris just threw in a frozen pizza, dished it up when it was ready, then headed to his room. He listened to some of his favorite music, relaxing on his bed, for quite a while. He pondered the strange feelings he had been having over the new boy, whom he found out was named Marcus. 'Cute name' he thought. *Shudder* Chris began to wonder what this was all about. Chris sat with the boys for a while after dinner, watching some comedy on TV. Jake was snuggled up on his left side on the couch, Matt on his right. His parents came home some time later, staying awake just long enough to ask the kids how their day was, play around for a bit, then went to bed. Chris put them to bed soon after, tucking them in, hugging them, and giving them each a kiss on the forehead before heading to bed himself. Chris sat in bed for a few minutes thinking. He scared himself at the thoughts he was having towards the new kid. He had begun puberty about a year ago, sprouting hair in crazy places, voice crackling, beginning his growth spurt. He never gave much thought into why he went looking for a girlfriend. It was just what he was supposed to do. Did he feel like that's what he wanted? He became unsure. Chris went to bed that night all worries. Was he a freak? Was he mentally ill? Something was wrong, he knew it. Chris didn't get much sleep that night. The week continued on in much the same routine as it did the first day of school: him hanging out with his friends, his girlfriend, and the strange thoughts. He did begin to shy away from the particular group that made fun of Marcus, though. He regretted doing something mean like that to a new kid. He even went so far as to apologize to Marcus and even hang out with him a little, sticking up for him when his ex-friends or others bullied the boy. Why he was feeling different, he did not know. But one thing he did know, it was new and a bit exciting to feel a different way. Of course, he was still too immature to figure out what it all meant to his life. It was Tuesday the eleventh of September, a day just like any other. Chris had history that period. 'Funny,' Chris thought to himself, 'why do they even HAVE history during the first period. I mean, do they WANT us to fall asleep in class?' Chris chuckled at the thought, then continued to half listen, half doodle on his notepad. Near the end of first period, there was an announcement over the loud speaker. "This is your principal. The twin towers have just been attacked by hijacked planes. Please stay calm. Evacuation plans will be implemented shortly. Classes are cancelled for the day. Please feel free to share your thoughts, talk to a teacher, or take a personal moment of reflection while you have the time. There are a lot of people up there, and Rescue crews are working hard to save everyone. This is Principal Reed." *** It was already about a week and a half into the 8th grade. Jordan was once again becoming comfortable with the school routine. Jordan met up with Ryan before classes started and the two hung out until the first warning bell for first period. Jordan noticed that since the beginning of the year, Ryan had changed somewhat since last year. He was more open and friendly with Jordan. There were times when Ryan seemed downright weird, in what he said and did while the two hung out. As he looked back, he noticed that how Ryan acted was almost flirtatious at times. Jordan didn't think much of it. After all, many boys seem to do a lot of testing out of the waters before they totally realize who they want: boys or girls. Jordan knew, from conversations he had overheard in various places that boys often messed around with each other, as they began to understand their bodies and develop their hormones which, at 12 and 13, are surging so fast that some will do anything to get off. Most, obviously, grow to dislike boys and focus in on other girls. Jordan knew he was one of the exceptions. Jordan decided not to think too much into the Ryan situation, as he didn't want to hurt his own or his friend's feelings over some lame attempt to cop a feel or get either one of them into a situation they wouldn't be ready to handle. Jordan was too shy and afraid to do something like that. It was nearing the end of first period, September 11, 2001, when an announcement from the superintendent came over the speaker. "This is your superintendent, Mark Roberts. Tragedy has just befallen the United States. A plane has just crashed into one of the twin towers. Let us take a moment of silence to support the rescue efforts under way." *** There it is, hope you liked it. Comments/constructive criticism to Love_and_fate@hotmail.com BONUS: For some reason, I can't seem to find a good name for this story. Many who have read the original version know what it was formally known as, however I do not care for it. I never really did. So, here's my proposal. Send me an email at the above addy with any suggestions, and if I like your suggestion enough to use it, I will write you into the story. Major or minor character, I don't know. Sound good? Good. Laterz.