Date: Sun, 6 May 2007 13:26:43 -0700 (PDT) From: Dan R Subject: Me and Justin 12 "How is this possible Jeff?" I asked. "I dunno man. It just did." Jeff said. We had just lost in the sectionals to Hill and we were done for the year. We were rated 3rd in the state and we just lost in the first round of sectional playoffs. We played a terrible game and lost 6-0. It was unreal. The only time that Coach wasn't either happy or mad was at the end of the season. "Guys, I blame myself and the rest of the coaches for what happened today. We must not have coached good enough. Seniors, You are the best guys. You deserved better than this today. I love all of you guys." Then he walked off. He was for sure really sad. I knew it wasn't his fault. We just thought we were going to dance all of the way to state. I didn't watch any games after that, even though they were on tv. I just felt sick and didn't even want to play hockey ever again. I knew that would change, but at that moment, I just didn't even want to think about it. I remember when I went to my hockey locker for the last time and went to get all my gear, I slammed my locker door at least 50 times. "Hey!!! What are you doing?" I heard Roger yell over to me. "I dunno. I'm just mad. We let the whole school and fuck man, the whole town down." I said sadly. "If you break that door, I gotta fix it." Roger had been helping with the hockey team and was one of the assistant managers. "Brian, you did everything you could. You guys had a great year. You just had a bad game at the wrong time." He said. I looked at him with tears in my eyes and just let loose crying. Not like a baby or anything, just maybe an angry cry, if there is anything like that. He put his arm around me and tried to console me. I sobbed into his chest. He gave me a rub on the back and pulled my head off his chest. "You don't have anything to be crying about Brian. Somebody wins and somebody loses. You lost this time. Just worry about next time." I was still pissed off, but his words were nice and comforting. I gave him a hug back. I walked out of the lockerroom with my heavy bag, and my heavy heart. I thought back to Duluth and how great I felt that day, and compared it to how bad I felt today. It was the end of March and Tennis didn't start for awhile. I had several weeks with no sports. I wasn't even sure I wanted to play tennis that year. I didn't want to let that team down too. I guess I was pissed off at the world, and it carried over to everybody I knew, except for Jeff and Ryan, who were also pissed off at the world. I remember treating my family like shit, and Sean even worse. I didn't want to talk to any of them. All I wanted to do is get drunk on the weekends and even during the week when I could. I even got an older friend of my brothers to buy me booze and I mixed in vodka with my bottle of mountain dew bottle and I just drank during school. I had no interest in anything. I didn't really talk to anybody and my grades sucked big time. I was barely passing all of my classes, plus I was barely passing as a boyfriend to Sean. I didn't want to be close to anybody and he couldn't get through to me. I was for sure feeling sorry for myself, but that is the way I dealt with it. I pushed everybody that was important to me away from me so I could sulk in my own pity. Winter was finally over. I was sitting on my back steps looking at the grass I had to mow, hoping that it would just shrink back into the yard. Tennis starts next week. Great I thought. Fuck it I thought. I sat back and took a big pull of the bottle of schnapps that I had gotten. My folks were back up at the cabin and I basically just got drunk every day, especially when they were gone. I saw Jeff walking up my driveway. I hadn't talken to him in weeks, except for chit chat at the lockers and stuff. He sat down next to me and said, "Hey Brian. Are you ok?" "Ummm, no. I'm not really. I hate everything in life right now, for the most part." I said. He looked at me and took the bottle from my hand and drank the rest of it. "HEY FUCKER!" I said. "What the fuck!" I said. "Well, if I am going to have sex with you, I have to get good and drunk." he said. "Jeff, your not gonna have sex with me. Just leave me alone." I said. "Brian, you are beyond help right now. You have to grow up and know that hockey is just a game. You treat it like it is life or death. Jesus fucking christ man, we lost a game. So fucking what man. We lost. You really need to get over it. Man, you are drunk almost every day, Sean doesn't know what is going on, you don't talk to me or Ryan or any of your friends anymore. We are concerned about you man. I love you." Jeff said. Probably the only person in the world who could ever get through to me was him. He was my best friend of course. "Jeff, I umm^Å." Then I just started crying and he held me close. I just let everything out to my best friend. When I was done shedding two gallons of tears, we sat underneath the big willow tree in my back yard. It was a nice day. Nice warm wind blowing through the leaves. "Brian, you really need to play tennis this year. Everybody thinks you need to play.". He said. "I dunno Jeff. I just think that I might screw up or something. Plus, I'm not sure I fit in with those guys anyways." I said. "Are you kidding me Brian? Just go to the first practice and see what happens." He said. I decided to do just that, then quit. I moped through the days at high school, trying not to flunk out, and not drinking too. I was a little better with schoolwork when I wasn't hammered I decided. The first day of tennis practice happened. I really didn't have any close friends on the tennis team, especially since Jason left the year before. Then I saw Roger coming towards me. He was the new team manager of the tennis team. At least Roger was here. Looked like he grew a couple of inches and was more confident in himself. We talked about this and that, and he told me that the team needed me this year. I just looked at him and shrugged. The first practice was different for me. We had a new tennis coach, so he didn't know any of us really. He had all of the records and charts from the year before, but he didn't know about any of us. We went through all of the basics and then we split up and played singles matches against an opponent. I got paired up with somebody I didn't know. He was a junior or senior. He smoked me on the first set. 6-1. I just wasn't into it. I was down in the second set 1-3. I hit a nice serve and ran up to the net and his return hit me right in the head. I got up and shook it off. I looked over and he was laughing at me. Who the fuck was this guy, laughing at me. I was mad and it showed. I smoked him after that. I won that set 6-3 and won the next set 6-0. For the first time since before the hockey game we lost, I had some competition in me. After the match, he came to the net to shake my hand and I walked away. Still bitter. "HEY YOU FUCK!" He yelled at me. "You talking to me?" I said. "Yep. You don't come and shake my hand? What the fuck is your problem?" He said. I shrugged. "Fuck you man. I don't have to shake your hand." This guy jumped the net and was running at me. He dropped his racket and nailed me in the face with a nice roundhouse. "Don't fucking disrespect me fuck off. I don't care who you are, if you think you are getting a pass because you play hockey, think again man." He said. By this time, the new tennis coach came over and told everybody to stop and go back to their matches or go to the showers. He really railed into my assailant Craig. I went up to the coach and told him that I probably deserved it and apologized to Craig. Craig was a good looking guy. Taller than me, had a nice tan, even in April. Obviously, he wasn't a pussy. I don't know too many people who would take on a hockey player in a fight one on one, but he did. The tennis season went on and on and on and on. I think I only stuck with it because Roger was the team manager and I liked talking to him. Not to mention the memory of sucking him off. I wondered if his dick had grown since I had sucked him off last. Finally the season ended. I didn't really do anything to make anybody think much of my tennis game, that is for sure. I had a decent record playing as #4 singles. But nothing good. Prom was upon me. I knew that me and Sean would go together, but I wondered if he wanted to go. I had been a dick for the past few months. We hadn't had any sex for a long time. In fact, I didn't even remember kissing him for weeks. I wondered if we were broken up. I called him up and asked him if we could go out this weekend. He said yes and we decided to have him meet me at my house on Saturday morning, then we would go to see a movie or something. I felt really awkward for some reason. We hadn't been sexually together for awhile. When he came into the house, he went down to my room. My folks were up north, so we didn't really have any restrictions. I looked at him wondering about five thousand things it seemed like. Sean looked back at me and sat next to me on the bed. We sat next to each other really awkwardly. It felt really strange. "Ya know Brian, what is your problem? You have been ignoring me for weeks now." Sean said. "I dunno man. I guess I have some things to think about." I said. "Fuck that man. You have been a drunk and a lush and a fuck since you lost to Hill." Sean said. "I know. I just don't know what to do. I'm just.." Then he kissed me. He pushed me on my back and kissed me more. He rubbed his hard dick into my crotch and I responded to him. We grinded our dicks through our shorts. Then he went down and unbuttoned my shorts and pulled them down. Then he pulled down my undies and my dick slapped against my belly. He grabbed it and looked at it and licked my head where my pre cum was flowing all over my head. It had been a long time since we were together and I hadn't jerked off in weeks. Sean sucked my dick and put it in his mouth and sucked it. Like he was sucking to save his life. It didn't take me more than a couple of minutes and I tensed up and blew my load in his mouth. He looked down to me and had a mischievous look on his face. He leaned down to me and kissed me and I tasted my own sperm. I looked up to him and begged him to fuck me, super hard. Sean smiled and took his time. He went down on me and sucked out my ass. He teased me with his fingers and finally, we got to the point where he turned me over and started to fuck me. Normally we did it with one of us facing each other, but this time was doggie style. It felt different than normal, but it also felt awesome. He was fucking my ass really hard and I lost everything I had and collapsed on the bed, stomach first. Sean was still fucking my ass and hitting all the right spots. I came again while Sean was fucking my ass. Made a big ol wet spot on the bed. He kept his dick in me until it because soft and turned me around and we kissed hard. I really missed what just happened. God I loved him. Short one this time guys. All comments appreciated.