Date: Wed, 2 May 2007 15:11:58 -0700 (PDT) From: Dan R Subject: Me & Justin 9 "Hey man, you look like shit, what happened to you..." Dan said sarcastically... Then him and Sean started laughing. Looking at both of them I said one thing. "your done". And I left. I could hear them mocking me on my way out. I just laughed. I had a hundred and one things going through my mind when I walked out the door. Dan's mom said "Jeez Brian, that was quick", "Yeah" I said, "I felt uncomfortable walking in on Dan and Sean having sex"... Her look was incredible. She just stood there as I walked away with the first smile on my face in weeks. I was getting my swagger back. I think because I knew that Jeff would never leave my side and my brother was now truly my brother. So my next stop was up the road to Ryan's house. I was on a mission. I looked like I just got out of a prison riot, but I was sick of all of this crap and people talking about me. Ryan was sitting by his pool when I entered through his gate. Ryan was a good guy and I couldn't understand why he said what he did about me to Jeff. I guess I wanted to see if he could say that to my face. Ryan got up and told me to leave, and I didn't, I just stood there in front of him and I took off my shirt, which showed all of my bruises, which were turning an odd shade of red. "This is what a couple of fag haters did to me, is this what you want to do to me too?". "I'm pretty much fair game for you right now, you might want to get your shots in now while you have a chance, cuz in a couple of weeks, I'll be all healed up." "You're a prick Brian. Ya know, I hate gay people and all of that, but I'm kindoff pissed at you that you didn't even tell me about it. I've always been the 3rd or 4th wheel. " I just shook my head. "So you want me to feel sorry for you? Man, that's funny. Ryan, I thought more of you than this. I remember that time when that black kid tried out for the hockey team back in JV and people were calling him names and stuff and you got into everybodys face that did that and told him to stop. How is this different?" "ummm, I dunno, it's just different. I dunno." He sat back down and was looking back at the pool and looked up to me and said, "Ya know man, I'm stupid. I just don't want everybody to think I am gay if I hang around with you. I can't handle things like you do." "Do you like to suck cock?" I asked. "NO!" he said "So there, your not gay and I'm not going to hit on you. Plus, being gay isn't something that happened overnight. Do you think if I wanted to get down your pants, I would have tried by now?" "Shit, you were the one who always wanted to see my cock, not me". That got a smile out of him and he stood back up. "Man, they did a number on you Brian. I'm sorry for what I said to Jeff yesterday. He was pretty pissed about what I said too. I've been thinking about it a lot. Sometimes I say stupid things. Can we just pretend that I didn't say it and start things over?" "Only if you kiss me. That is the only way I will forgive you for this." He looked at me like I was serious, so I pushed him into the pool. I didn't think it at the time, but I seemed to be on somewhat of a recruiting mission. I needed to get strong allies to surround me. We talked awhile longer about the whole thing, and he became pretty casual about it. I really do think that he was concerned about what people would say about him. The thing that astonished me at the time is that in reality, nobody ever really saw anything. It was just a rumor that went around. In fact, the only people that really knew were Jason, Justin, and the people that I told that day and the night before. I went home to find a lot of the same people there that I assumed were there the night before. My brother and some of his friends. Jeff was there, but he was sleeping in one of the back bedrooms, plus a few other guys from school on my hockey team. I was the center of their attention obviously, so when I walked through the door, it was 100 questions about what I said, what I did and all that. I told them that I didn't want them going out like a lynch mob, I would handle this on my own. I didn't want them to get in trouble for something. Mitch again was in the back kitchen. He was rolling a joint. I was never into pot that much, but I asked him if I could have some. The couple of times I had tried it, I didn't really care for it, but I remember it making me feel really relaxed. He obviously was an expert on pot and he told me what it does to your body, and why you feel so good when you smoke it. I wondered if he applied himself to school like he does on the history of pot, man, he could be president some day. He slid over his bag of weed and some zig zags and I attempted to roll my first joint, which just wasn't going to happen. I kept ripping the paper, then licking it too much and it turned out looking like crap. He laughed and rolled up a super tight one and handed it to me. "Don't tell your brother I gave you this, he'd be pretty mad I think". Yah, I thought, the pot calling the kettle black. I went out on the back steps and lit it up. I took a couple of hits from it and I felt super dizzy, but better. I took one last one, then put it out and I walked into the house. I was such a lightweight. I was totally stoned off of three small hits, but I wasn't used to it. I was kindoff stumbling to the back bedrooms and found Jeff. He was sleeping so I laid down next to him, feeling really good. When I laid down, he woke up and instantly knew I was stoned or drunk or something. He leaned over on his side to talk to me and he put his hand on my chest, rubbing the bruised parts. It hurt a little, but it felt really good. He kept doing it for awhile, and I got a hard on, which was easy to see, but I didn't realize that I had one, as stoned as I was. When he noticed it, he was like "Cmon Man! " I looked down and started laughing, and so did he. Then he did something I will never forget. He leaned into me and said, "Brian, I love you. You know that. But I can't give you want you might want from me, but I will give you this". Then he kissed me. Not a peck on the cheek either, but a real kiss. Our tounges were dancing with each other. I couldn't believe it. Then he put his hand on my crotch and gave me a few strokes and told me "That is all you will ever get out of me, but I wanted to do it, I think you needed that today." Then he walked out of the bedroom. I just laid there stoned and happy about what just happened. About 5 minutes later I puked in the bed. I now remembered why I hated to smoke pot. My parents came home on Sunday afternoon. I wasn't sure if I was dreading their return or not. I knew I was going to get a bunch of questions about everything and I decided I would just tell them the truth about everything. I guess if they were going to hate me for what I was, I wanted to know now. My parents were good people. Pretty religious and stuff like that, but I knew them pretty well to know how much they could tolerate. They came through the front door and went upstairs where I was watching TV. My mom dropped her bag and came over to me and all of the questions started. My dad wanted to know who, what, why, when all of that. Mom was more concerned whether or not I should go to the hospital. I was sitting on the easy chair, and they were on the love seat sitting next to each other. I saw my brother come out of his bedroom and make a classic U-turn back in there, not wanting to see or hear what was going on. So I told them the story, leaving out the names of Dan and Sean, then the why came up. I guess it was inevitable. So I told them. I just said, "they did it to me because I am gay". Total silence. They just looked at me. "Ummm, do one of you two want to say something to me?". My dad, never one at a loss for words, said, "I don't know what to say Brian. This is a pretty big bombshell you just dropped on us". Then my mom said, "Brian, why don't you go outside while me and your dad talk about this for a few minutes." So I was wandering around the back yard and after 5 minutes, I came back into the house and my folks were still sitting where they were. I asked them if they were ready and they told me to come back into the living room, so I did. My dad spoke. "First off Brian, we love you. We don't like what you just told us, but we love you. It is going to take us some time to be really ok with everything, but we aren't going to hate you, you are our son." My dad never cried. He was a big guy, was in the army, a big tough guy. But I saw him wipe away a couple of tears. I knew him, and I knew I disappointed him on some level. I mean, what dad wants one of their boys to be gay? I was so relieved. I really thought I might be spending the next few years at Jeff's house on his couch. I got up and they got up and I hugged them both. My dad hugged to hard and I kindoff yelped in pain, so that got mom all riled up and she called our doctor at his home and insisted that I be seen first thing in the morning. Which I did. I had a slightly cracked rib and a bunch of bruises I found out the next day. Nothing major. I was relieved. I was also relieved that I didn't have to go to school that day. Me and mom went by the lake and talked about stuff and before we knew it, it was lunch time and she said that it probably would be best to not go to school today, and maybe not even for the week. I told her no way. The quicker I get back to school, the better. I had to go in there sooner or later. So she agreed reluctantly. The morning arrived for school. I was still looking pretty bad in the mirror after my shower and morning wank. Looking over my body at the various bruises and cuts I decided I was ok. Not as sore as I had been. My body was pretty tan from the summer, plus I was still in really good shape. I decided I needed to gain some weight and turn it into more muscle before hockey started. My brother offered me a ride, and I was happy to accept. He never gave me a ride with him to school. He went on his normal stops to Mitch's house, then to pick up Scott, which was weird because he only lived like 3 blocks from the school. What a lazy ass I thought. Scott was only a junior and his parents were pretty much hippies from what I could tell. I saw his dad at the gas station and he looked like he hit the drugs pretty hard when he was my age. He was a nice guy though. I caught up to Jeff at his locker and we talked about the Monday gossip around school, of course revolving around me. Jeff said that from what he could tell, the hockey and tennis team basically made Dan and Sean's life a living hell. That made me smile. I guess I felt pretty good knowing my buddies in sports didn't seem to care if I was gay or not. I couldn't believe all of the attention I was getting from girls during the day. They all wanted to talk to me and ask me how I was doing. Two of them told me they had some guy friends that I just had to meet. Huh, maybe I wasn't the only one here that's gay. Well, besides Justin, but he is so far into the closet. I had a note in my closet that I had to go meet with the counseler on my study hall, which kindoff sucked because I was behind in everything and I didn't want to have to do homework at home... "Cmon in Brian", Mr Branch said. So I took a seat on a little table he had in his office and he came and sat down next to me. I knew Mr. Branch pretty good because he was a booster on the hockey team and his son Dennis played on the team as well. He was a senior. I guess Dennis told his dad about what happened to me over the weekend, and that is why I was there. "Brian, It seems you had a pretty rough weekend. Anything you want to talk about?" "Umm, no, not really. I have pretty much talked to everybody I need to talk about this with already." "Not that I don't appreciate the offer, but I think I am pretty comfortable with everything." "Well, that is good to hear. There is one thing that I want to discuss with you, and that is revenge. I know you want to get back at who did this to you, but you might want to think about what will happen if you do that on school grounds." "Yes sir. I know." Knowing exactly what he meant. I knew that if I was fighting in school, I would probably be thrown off the hockey team, and that is definitely what I did not want. We shook hands and I went off to study hall loving that the meeting was so brief. I got all of my homework done and had 10 minutes to spare. My friend Brianna came and sat down next to me. "Hey baby" she whispered in my ear. "Lets talk after class". I nodded. This was the last period of the day and I only had like 10 minutes to get to the bus, but I figured it was a nice day for a walk, so who cared. "Whats up?" I asked. "She said she knew what happened and that Dan was a pig." I smiled. "Can you come over to my house on Saturday? My parents are out of town and I am having a party." "Sure", I'd love to. Brianna was really good looking. She was on the swim team and had a great body. "Can you see if Jeff wants to go?" I could see her blushing and looking at her feet. "Ahhh, somebody has a crush on my Jeffy!!!" "STOP IT Brian! I had a crush on you until I found out that, ummm..." I laughed. I said it wasn't a big deal. And yes, my shadow Jeff would come with me. I got over to my locker and Jeff was still there. He always missed the bus, but then always complained about walking home. It was only like two miles, so it wasn't that big of a deal. I walked up behind him super quiet and whispered in his ear. "Hey stud, you've got a date this weekend", he turned around and saw me and told me to shut it up. I told him about Brianna and her party on Saturday and he was walking on air the whole way home. All week, that is all he could talk about. He must really like her I thought, he never gets all riled up over a girl. But she was some girl, that's for sure. The rest of the week was pretty standard. I tried to avoid Dan and Sean at school, which was pretty easy because it was a really big school. We had like 600 kids in our class alone. I only had one class with Dan and that was Algebra and we didn't have to interact or anything. Plus, he was pretty much hated around school anyways. In a way, I kindoff felt sorry for him, but not really. But he did basically lose all of his friends at school now and was an outcast. Even at lunch, I never even saw him and Sean sitting together. I had to work at the gas station on Friday night. They let me work a little bit on the cashier now, but whenever somebody bought beer, I had to let somebody older ring it up. Which was weird. I worked until 1am and went home and thought about how much fun tomorrow was going to be. The Party – I slept in Saturday until like noon. I felt really good. Even my ribs werent hurting anymore. Most of my bruises were gone and my cuts were healing up pretty good I thought. The cut over my eye was going to give me a cool looking scar I thought. The house was really quiet. The folks were up at the cabin for the weekend as usual, and my brother was probably sleeping it off somewhere. So I called up Jeff and told him to meet me at Ryan's to swim. Ryan always was home. So we all went over there and swam and layed around, all excited about the party. Ryan was coming too. He didn't know it until we told him, but he got all excited about it too. Jeff was kindoff bragging to Ryan about Brianna. Both Ryan and Jeff were virgins, and this gave Jeff the upper hand to have a chance to pop his cherry. But Ryan was sure cute enough, his cherry was going to be gone one of these weekends. We all decided to meet at my house before we went to Brianna's. She only lived about 10 blocks from us, so we were going to walk to it. So we all got ready. I wasn't really expecting much in the way of looking for a date, but Jeff and Ryan sure were. They came dressed in outfits that had themselves looking extremely hot. I on the otherhand just wore some jeans and a loose fitting sweatshirt, and a hat. My hair was complicated and I didn't feel a need that night to get all spruced up. "My god" I said when they walked in. "You guys are extremely hot tonight. Looks like you guys are out hunting for sure!" Jeff came up to me and kissed my cheek and said, "Oh yeah baby, I'm getting some tonight. If Brianna doesn't put out, then I'm coming after you!" Ryan extremely uncomfortable sighed, and me and Jeff just laughed. "Jeff, I would let you, but that little thing you got down there, well, that just doesn't do it for me. Sorry. You might want to try for Ryan. You and him have the same perfume on.." We all laughed and started walking down to Brianna's house. The route, unfortunately crossed directly in front of Dan's house. He was mowing the front yard with his Dad keeping an eye on his progress. His dad was known for being a stickler on lawn care. He saw us walking down the street and came to the edge of the driveway waving at us. Obviously he didn't have a clue as to what was going on. So he was talking about this and that and what we were doing that night. Jeff started to tell him, and the lawn mower was shut off, and we saw Dan looking at us and going inside his house. Jeff, who instantly saw the awkward situation we were in, trying not to tell his dad that his son wasn't invited, or wanted, made up a brilliant lie. "We have a hockey team party that we are going to." "Kindoff to kick off the new season." "Just the hockey team and helpers and stuff like that." Dan's dad, also named Dan, said, well, that sounds like fun. Looks like the cheerleaders are going to be there too, the way you guys are all dressed! We all laughed and said good bye. We were walking to the party, and my head was down. I was starting to feel bad about Dan, and him not being invited to the party. I don't know why, but I felt sorry for him. If this was two weeks ago, he would have been walking right with us. But, I guess that is the way it goes. Jeff was walking next to me and put his arm around me, probably knowing what I was thinking. He knew me better than anybody. We finally got to the party. The music was going, a bon fire in the back yard. House filled with a bunch of teenage drunks. A normal party. I liked it because it was normal, and I didn't have to think about any of the things that had happened to me recently. Jeff saw Brianna in the back yard, so he took off immediately. Ryan went to go fetch us some beer from the keg in the garage, so I walked in the front door. Brianna's brother Austin, who was a year older than her, was basically the bouncer. This guy was nothing like his sister. He was at least 6' tall, and at least 300 pounds. Huge guy with red hair. I walked in and he grabbed me and gave me a big bear hug lifting me off my feet. "AUSTIN, my fucking ribs man!" He let me down and said he was super sorry. He forgot. He was a super nice guy. Big teddy bear kindoff guy. "It's ok Austin. They are getting better." I could see that he really was sorry. He went on to tell me about wrestling practice and all of that, and then Ryan came with my beer, which was ½ foam, typical Ryan. I drank my foam and beer and basically was doing my normal things I would do at a party like this. I was never at a loss for words, plus practically the whole hockey team was there, plus some guys from the tennis team. Just a good old fall high school party. I was getting pretty drunk, as I was known to do. I am and was always a happy drunk. I was hanging out in the backyard at the bonfire with Ryan, Jeff, and Brianna and a bunch of other people and it was getting cold, so I went to the garage and got another beer and went into the living room. There was a Twins game on, so I wanted to see what the score was. Who did I see when I got in there, well, my good old buddy Sean. The look on his face was priceless. I was in the backyard so long, he probably didn't think I was there. He was sitting alone watching the game, so I sat next to him and put my arm around him. "Ohhh, Sean. How ya doing there old buddy?" He didn't say anything. Sean actually was a good looking guy. Shorter than me with dark red hair. He seemed like he would be pretty athletic, but I didn't know if he was on any team. He pulled away from me, and was all tense. I could sense this, but I was having a good time knowing that he was scared as hell. "Brian, I have to talk to you. I didn't know you would be here tonight, and if I did, I wouldn't have came." "OK, talk." "Not here. There are too many people around." Which there was. There was already a little group of people who were playing cards in the kitchen looking at us. Knowing what might happen. "OK, where?" "How about outside in the front yard." "Brian, I gotta say to you, that I am super sorry about what I did to you. I am new here and Dan told me about you and he was like my only friend, so I kindoff went along with him. Everybody at school this week have been terrible to me, and I know I deserve it, but they all told me that of all the people to do this to, it shouldn't have been you. Everybody loves you Brian." "I don't know about that, but cmon man. Spraying me in the face then beating up somebody two on one. That is bad. I mean, really bad." "I KNOW! Dan didn't tell me what he had planned. He told me that you were a fag and that you tried to do it with his brother. I now know that isn't true and I feel terrible about this." "His brother? His brother is only 6 years old. Christ." Why would he say something like that? "Sean, yep, it isn't true, and maybe if somebody told me the same thing, I would have done what you did." "Everybody is looking out the window thinking that you are going to kill me. Can we go inside so the don't think that, and well, for my sake if you do want to do that, do it now." I just laughed. "Sean man, I wouldn't do that to anybody. " So we went inside and filled up our beers and went down to Brianna's basement and talked some more. Austin stopped me when we came back in and offered to throw Sean out to the pavement, but I told him to settle down. I could feel Austin's glare on the back of Sean's head as we went downstairs. Sean was near crying when we got down there. "What's wrong Sean?", I asked. This was pretty strange. I didn't really know what he was thinking. "Brian, I can't help it. When me and Dan were beating you up, all I could think of is that it could have been me that was getting beat up." Then he just started sobbing and went down on his knees. I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't even know this guy, up until 15 minutes before, I pretty much hated him, now he was crying and pouring his soul out to me. "Sean, what does that mean? I've been hit with too many hockey pucks in the head. I don't understand things easily" I joked. He "Brian, I heard the rumors when we moved here this summer. Everybody in my neighborhood was talking about it. I got excited hoping that there was one person at this school that was like me. I played soccer with Dan over the summer and I asked him if he knew you and he kept calling you a fag and then the day on the bus, he made up what you did with his brother, so he told me that we had to beat the crap out of you." "Wait a second, you said somebody that was like you? What does that mean?" "Ummm, somebody that is into guys more than girls?" Then he started crying again. I lifted him up and just basically held him too me. He was crying uncontrollably at this point. "Wow, I sure had you pegged wrong. Sean, try to settle down. I'm not mad at you now I know your side of the story. What happened happened. There is nothing that is going to change that. OK?" "OK" he said looking at me with his face covered in tears. I leaned forward and kissed him and he kissed me back. HOLY CRAP. How was this even happening I was thinking while we were kissing. I could feel his dick pushing into mine. It seemed pretty big. "Sean, I am pretty drunk right now, so I don't want to do something that we might regret tomorrow. Can you come over to my house tomorrow so we can talk when we aren't drunk?" "Ya know Sean, people are going to know that you are gay just by us being together. Will you be comfortable with that?" "Yep. I finally feel like I am in a place where I am protected. When you showed up at Dan's house and stood up to us, I knew that I had to get away from him. I made a bad choice. Seeing you here with your friends, I know they don't care about who you do. They care about you Brian. I've never seen that before." "Yeah, well, some probably have problems with it, but they know I would kick their butts if they said anything to me about it." We both laughed. Sean lived on the other side of town and left with a senior who looked like him, so I assumed he was his brother. I went to the back to find Ryan sitting alone at the fire that was dying out. "Where's Jeff?" He just pointed to the back of the house to where one of the bedrooms was. He was super down in the dumps. He knew Jeff was getting some and he was sitting on a log talking to his gay friend. I put my arm around him and said "Ryan, forget about it. You are so hot, you don't even know it. You are going to get so much trim this year, this will not even be a memory a couple months from now when you are eating out some chicks disgusting muff." He turned around and looked at me and just smiled and gave me a hug. I was so glad that I didn't lose Ryan as a friend. He really was a good guy. I told him about what happened with Sean, and he seemed really happy that I told him first, because Jeff was always the first to know everything. "Let's get shitfaced" he said, and we did. We passed out together in the back yard and woke up and it was pretty cold outside. Fall Minnesota night. He was spooning me. It felt really good. I saw Austin come out to the backyard for a smoke and I made a hand motion to him to take a picture of this. He smiled widely and found a camera and took like 20 pictures. Then he just burst out laughing and was rolling around on the ground when Ryan woke up and saw what he was doing. I swear to god Austin was going to piss or crap his pants. He was laughing so hard I could tell it was hurting him. Ryan just jumped away and ran into the house. Austin came over to me and said, "Hey Brian, looks like everthing is back to normal for you. I'm glad too. Nobody likes to see you hurting over something." Then he gave me another hug, but not like he did before. What a nice start to the day.