It was yet another quiet night in Oli's bedroom. Quiet, not peaceful. It wasn't time for him to sleep yet, but here he was, lying on his bed, his head buried in his tear-stained pillow with several photographs scattered on his sheets. He wasn't moving at all and didn't appear to be breathing. However, he knew very well that he was alive. There was just too much pain to actually be dead. He didn't bother to turn the lights on inside, but the little light from the hallway that crept through his bedroom door reminded him of where he was – back at their old and familiar house. But, somehow, it didn't feel like the same house he grew up in. Hearing the door creak open, he moved to lie on his side, his back turned toward the person that interrupted this much needed silence.

"Oli, sweetheart..." his mom called from the doorway.

"Go away," he mumbled, unmindful to how his voice almost choked.

His mom gripped on the knob tighter, but didn't go in. She knew that Oli was having a hard time dealing with all that was told – confessed – to him earlier. As much as she wanted to be right beside him on his bed, rubbing his back and telling him just how much she loves him, she also knew that he needed some space for now. And she respected that. Her son needed to ponder on these things on his own; some time alone to gather his thoughts. However, it was hard for her – for a mother – to finally close that door and take away the little light that guided her son up to this point of his life. And no one can blame her for the tear that went down her cheek.

Oli was at lost right now. He didn't even know who he was anymore. The life he has been living was all a lie. But the thing that bothered him the most was the fact that he can't even remember any part of his childhood contained in those photographs shown and given to him. He didn't want to believe what his dad told him. He couldn't even imagine himself repressing those precious memories and forming new ones that were built on nothing but lies. Despite that, he knew that he loved his...adoptive parents. After all, their love for him was the only thing he can ever be sure of.

He was about to fall asleep when he heard a tap on his window. `Must be the wind,' he thought, closing his eyes once more. But he heard it again and it couldn't have been the wind for it tapped to some familiar tune. He forced himself off his bed, went to his window and opened it. For a second, he felt his heart jump when he saw dark eyes staring back at him.

"Mattie?" he asked, surprised.

"Hey, Oli," Mattie whispered, moving closer to the windowsill.

"What are you doing here? And how'd you get up here?" Oli asked some more, opening his window wider for Mattie to go through.

"Ladder," Mattie said, pointing to the far corner of the roof he was standing on. He climbed inside and let himself fall into Oli's arms, seeing that the floor was too far for him to set his foot on.

"Why're you here, Mattie? And where's Dash?" Oli urged, setting the little boy down on a nearby desk.

"I was scared..." Mattie admitted, looking down at his lap with his hands on his knees.

"Scared? Did something happen? Is Dash okay?" Oli blurted out, fear drawn on his face.

"No. Dashu's fine, I think," Mattie said, staring deep into Oli's eyes. He could see just how much Oli cared for his big brother. "He...he went out to think. He does that sometimes, but he never lets me come with him."

"Think? At this late? And he just leaves you alone in the house?" Oli found it unreasonable for Dash to do just that. Why would he leave his little brother alone, knowing what his uncle is capable of doing?

"Our uncle never does anything to me. Dashu made him a deal to leave me alone." Mattie sounded regretful and guilty of the fact. He felt his eyes start to well up with some tears. He looked away from Oli, not wanting the other boy to think that he was no more than a crybaby.

Oli felt sorry for Mattie. He knew just how much the little guy blamed himself for what Dash was going through. He moved closer to the little boy and hugged him, running his hand through the curls that fell over Mattie's ears.

"Don't blame yourself," Oli whispered. "C'mon. We have to go look for Dash."

Mattie immediately wrapped his arms around Oli's waist as he felt the older boy's embrace loosen up. He didn't want Oli to stop hugging him. He felt safe right now and he needed that so much. Was it selfish for him to prevent Oli from looking for Dash? Was it selfish for him to want to keep Oli by his side? Was it selfish to have Oli for his own...just this once?

He hesitated a bit before saying, "No, Oli. Please, don't go..."

"What's wrong, Mattie? I'm not leaving you here. You can come and look for Dash with me," Oli said, confused with how Mattie was reacting.

"But...but I'm scared..." Mattie couldn't hold back the tears anymore as he quietly sobbed in Oli's shirt, burying his face in the older boy's chest.

"Scared of what?" Oli asked, feeling really confused right now. He thought that Mattie must have been scared for Dash's sake, but it appeared that the little boy had some other fear to confront.

"I know where Dashu is," Mattie muttered. "He doesn't go far from the house."

"Then we should go to him. He must be worried sick looking for you," Oli said, almost withdrawing from the hug, but Mattie just held on to him tighter.

"But..."

"Mattie. What are you scared of?" Oli asked seriously.

Mattie loosened his hold on Oli, releasing himself from the warm embrace. He withdrew a bit back, avoiding eye contact as he glanced toward his side, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pressed tight as he sniffled. He felt really ashamed right now, but he wanted to tell Oli everything. He just knew that the older boy would understand. And, unlike Dash, Oli would probably be less protective and give him a straight answer.

"Mattie," Oli said, holding the younger boy by the shoulders. "Look at me, please. I know you're scared, but Dash might need us right now. And I'm sure he's worried about you. But, I don't like seeing you like this. Did you have a nightmare earlier?"

A nightmare? It was worse than a nightmare from what Mattie thought of it. In fact, a nightmare sounded more welcoming that his current ordeal. The only problem was he didn't know how to tell Oli.

"I...I know Dashu hates being touched by our uncle..." Mattie started, still avoiding eye contact. "But...I can...hear him touch himself..."

Oli was beginning to understand where this was going. He didn't dare interrupt Mattie and just waited for the younger boy to continue despite the growing silence that lingered between them.

"...he doesn't cry, Oli," Mattie continued. "He doesn't cry..."

"Mattie..." Oli whispered, holding the little boy by his chin and gently turning Mattie's head to look at him, but Mattie still refused to mirror his eyes, looking instead at the far corner. "This isn't about Dash, is it?"

The answer to that was obvious, but Oli wanted to be as gentle as possible with how he went through with this for Mattie. The little kid not only showed fear, but also confusion and hesitation. `The birds and the bees talk,' Oli thought. Well, sort of like that.

"W-what does it feel like, Oli? To touch yourself?" Mattie asked, his puffy eyes staring deep into Oli's.

Oli didn't know how to respond to that. Sure, what he learned about sex and all that other stuff was from experience, but he didn't want to just expose Mattie to that same way of understanding. And as far as he was concerned, the only thing his dad told him was that it's okay to touch one's self, to explore one's body far from what sex ed taught. However, that didn't involve touching another person's body.

"Uhm..." Oli thought deep before continuing. "Have you done it before?"

"I'm scared..." Mattie muttered, looking away once more. "...that Dashu might catch me. But, I did it a couple times..."

"You don't have to be scared. And you should tell your big brother, too. But I don't think you're really scared, Mattie," Oli said. "I think you just feel...guilty that you do it to yourself knowing what Dash has to go through."

Oli didn't receive any confirmation from Mattie. Instead, he saw the tiny flinching flicker in the little boy's eyes and that was more than enough to tell him that Mattie was indeed guilty of what he did.

"Listen, Mattie..." Oli began. "I can't really tell you if it feels good or not. But I know that it's okay to touch yourself as long as you don't accidentally hurt yourself. My dad talked to me about this, said that it's natural for us to be curious...about, uhm, here," Oli said, pointing down to his crotch, seeing that Mattie turned his gaze toward the visible bulge.

"He called it the `birds and the bees' talk," Oli added.

"Birds and bees?" Mattie asked, his big eyes on Oli's, genuinely confused with the reference.

"I don't know why he called it that...except maybe `coz boys have peckers, y'know, like birds," Oli explained, to the best of his ability.

"And the bees?" Mattie asked, still not getting the whole point.

"That's the girls, I think. Y'know how much they like to buzz around, from flower to flower, from something pretty to something prettier, I guess," Oli answered, not quite sure with what he was saying.

"That makes no sense," Mattie said, dumbfounded.

"I know, right?" Oli sighed before adding, "But Mattie...how did it feel when you touched yourself?"

"Good," Mattie shamefully whispered, lowering his head.

"Then you don't have to be scared. It feels good for me, too. And I know Dash feels the same when he touches himself." Oli narrowed his eyes a bit and gritted his teeth, adding, "...not your uncle."

"Really?" Mattie's face lit up a bit, some of his fear being chased away.

"Yeah..." Oli smiled at the little boy, running his hand down Mattie's hair. "So...are you still scared?"

Mattie thought about it for a while. If Oli did say that it was okay for him to touch himself, and his dad, an adult, saying the exact same thing, then he should have no problem believing that. And it did feel good when his little hand reached down to touch his...pecker to greet it `good morning'. He even giggled a bit when he felt something rush through his body, somewhat like electricity from his warm hand wrapping around the little dick.

"I guess not," he finally answered. But that wasn't even close to half of his whole confusion. Sure, he was scared and didn't know what to think of touching himself that way. However, he also found pleasure in Dash touching his little pecker. When Dash would wash him all over, his giggles and cute blush showed just how much he enjoyed the attention. And it didn't help that his little pecker came to `life' every time he showered with his big brother. Despite the lingering confusion in his mind, he just didn't want to admit that tiny bit of truth to Oli.

"So how `bout we go find Dash now?" Oli asked and Mattie nodded, although a bit hesitant. He still had one more question to ask.

"One last thing, Oli..." Mattie began. "Do you...would you know if I'm big...down here?" Mattie's hand settled on his crotch, pressing on it a little.

Oli was surprised with Mattie's straightforward question. And, unknown to him, his cheek was slowly turning pink. He didn't know how to answer that, but Mattie's big, questioning and still puffy eyes mirroring his own told him that there was no way to avoid the inquiry.

"U-uh," Oli stuttered. "Why do you want to know?"

"Coz I've seen how big Dashu is...and he's ginormous," Mattie said, his emphasis on `ginormous'.

Oli finally felt the hot tinge on his face, imagining just how `ginormous' Dash was. From what Mattie was telling him, it would be no less than a horse's dick. But he can't trust the little kid's judgment, can he? Well, for one thing, almost everything from a little child's point of view is...well...ginormous.

"Would you tell me?" Mattie immediately questioned.

"Uhm, sure?" Oli answered, doubtful with what he was about to do...or see...measure, perhaps.

Mattie jumped off the desk after Oli stepped back a bit, his little feet making that hushed thud on the floor. He gripped the hem of his shorts and started pulling them downward slowly, oblivious to his little teasing scene.

Oli gulped, feeling excited and anxious at the same time. He felt himself getting hard witnessing this side of Mattie. The kid seemed excited as well, letting Oli see his little dick. `Just how little is he,' Oli thought.

"No...wait, Mattie," Oli interrupted, moving closer to the little boy and placing his hands on top of Mattie's, stopping him from pulling his shorts farther down. "Let me turn on the lights first." He reached toward his desk and turned his little lamp on.

"Now face here," Oli said, holding Mattie by the shoulders and turning him to face toward the bed, the light shining from his side. He sat on his bed and nodded to Mattie, telling the boy to continue.

Oli could feel his heart racing as bit by bit of clothing travelled down Mattie's thighs. The boy's shorts went down first, landing by his feet. And he can't help but smile at Mattie's tighty whities and that little bulge at the centre. `A bit big for his age,' Oli thought. `Or is he hard?'

"Oli..." Mattie whispered, looking at Oli, while his little hands gripped on the elastic of his underwear, ready to remove that final piece of clothing.

"Uhh." Oli couldn't understand what Mattie was doing. It looked as if...

"Please?" Mattie pleaded, removing his one hand from his underwear and placing it on Oli's thigh.

"Me?" Oli asked, surprised. "You want me to..." Mattie just nodded, his silent giggle and tiny blush evident enough for Oli to notice.

Oli just sighed, saying okay and kneeled in front of Mattie. He placed his hands on the elastic of Mattie's underwear. He looked at the little kid's eyes questioningly, asking Mattie if he was sure with this. Mattie nodded again, albeit shyly. Oli finally gulped one last time before peeling off the innocent clothing. And, yes, he did confirm one thing. `He's hard,' he thought.

"So..." Mattie interrupted Oli's staring session. "How...am I small?"

Oli almost shook his head, not from disagreement but from the need to think clearly. With what he was seeing, Mattie had no idea just how big he is. The only thing he needed was a ruler to get an exact measurement, but he could easily compare it to his index finger. A little over three inches, maybe three and a half, and thicker by half an inch. He wasn't even this big when he was Mattie's age.

"You're big, Mattie," he said, still looking at the pecker inches away from him. "You're gifted for someone your age."

In Oli's mind, his line of thought was partly on somewhere...someone else. `And Dash is ginormous?'

Mattie giggled, happy and shy with the compliment. He rocked his body a bit forward, almost letting Oli kiss his little dick.

"You still have your skin, huh?" Oli absentmindedly asked.

"Skin? What skin?" Mattie asked.

"Oh, y'know...that little bit of skin that's around your pecker," Oli explained. "It's called the foreskin."

"This one?" Mattie asked, pinching the little bit of skin that stretched around his little dick and Oli nodded. "Dashu has one, too."

Now, Oli was in fact seeing...looking at Mattie's dick. But all he could picture out, with Mattie telling him every bit of detail, was Dash's dick. From what he learned, it was ginormous and had that cute little skin covering its head. So you really can't blame Oli if he blushed deep crimson in front of Mattie's pecker. He breathed in deep before pulling Mattie's underwear back up to cover his intimate area. He pulled the little kid's shorts up, too and Mattie just giggled some more.

"I like you, Oli. You're like Dashu, but different," Mattie said. "I can tell you things I can't tell him."

Oli smiled sweetly at Mattie, ruffling the little boy's hair. "That's good," he said. "Now let's go look for Dash and I'll take you home."

"kay!" Mattie exclaimed, hugging Oli at the same time. "Thank you, Oli! You're my second best big brother!"

"Dash is still the best, huh," Oli said, rubbing Mattie's back.

"Mm-hmm," Mattie mumbled.

Mattie withdrew from the hug, looked up at Oli and glanced toward the bed. His eyes saw one thing in particular that caught his curiosity. "What's that?" he asked, pointing to some photographs scattered on the sheets.

"Oh, these? Just some pictures when I was little," Oli said, picking up a couple and handing them to Mattie.

"Oli..." Mattie mumbled, staring at one picture intently. "This is my mom right here."

Oli couldn't believe what Mattie just said. He instantly took the picture from the little kid and looked at it once more. It pictured a little boy, himself, playing with some blocks and a woman far back at the corner, smiling down at him.

"Your mom? What do you mean your mom?" Oli asked, still staring at the photograph.

"That's my mom. Dashu showed me pictures of her and I'm sure of it," Mattie stated.

`That's weird,' Oli thought. He picked up some more pictures and showed it to Mattie. "How `bout this? Do you know who this is?" he asked, pointing to another boy of about four years old, smiling beside his four-year-old self.

"Dashu," Mattie simply said. "He looked like this from the albums we have at our house. And I remember wearing the same shirt when I was five."

Oli was now dumbfounded. `This can't be Dash,' he thought. The boy in the picture just looked...different. The smile was more pronounced and genuine, the light brown hair was with less curls and with what little emotion the eyes showed, it hinted of a different colour...a more angelic and innocent hue. `No...' Oli was in denial. Dash and him were friends back then? Just how much of his memory was repressed and made up?

"Mattie," Oli whispered, sitting on the edge of his bed and slowly setting the photograph down on his lap. "Dash and I were friends back then?"

"What do you mean, Oli? You can't remember?" Mattie asked, moving closer to Oli.

"I...I can't," Oli muttered, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes squinted with that distant look in them. "No...no..."

"Oli..." Mattie was now very concerned with how Oli was reacting. Well, he didn't know much more that what the pictures were saying. For the heck of him, he was still too young to even remember anything about Oli and Dash being friends back then. But Oli sure is acting weird, not being able to remember any of that.

Oli took a deep breath in, calming himself before saying, "Let's go, Mattie. We have to look for Dash."

Both boys snuck out of the house through Oli's bedroom window, careful not to alert his parents. He stuck to calling them his own, with what his memory dictated him. He couldn't even remember being placed in their care. And he couldn't even remember...losing his real mom and dad. Right now, he only needed to find out one thing – the friendship he shared with Dash way before he started filling his mind with make believe. `I know lots of things,' Dash's voice echoed in Oli's mind.

Right from across the street, behind some hedge and under the dim lit sky, was another boy dressed in midnight blue hoodie that went to cover almost halfway down his eyes. Seeing Oli and Mattie quietly climb down the ladder, he ducked into cover, cursing under his breath, "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit..."

Oli and Mattie was racing down the sidewalk, their steps hurried and light as if doing some reconnaissance mission. The other boy, the one with the hoodie, trailed behind them discreetly down the opposite sidewalk. And as much as his name allowed, he was in a hurry as well. `Just what are you up to, Mattie?' he thought.

After a considerable distance, Oli stopped to catch his breath, Mattie doing the same. He knew he had to hurry, but damn, he felt himself almost hyperventilating with all the thoughts racing through his head. Mattie tugged at Oli's shirt.

"Oli, I know where Dashu is," he said.

"Where?" Oli asked, dead set on finding Dash the quickest way possible.

"At the playground by your school. I followed him once there," Mattie said, his voice almost echoing in the darkness.

"You sure?" Oli asked, looking at Mattie who just nodded. He drew in a deep breath once more and took Mattie's hand, leading both of them toward their school. It was only half a mile away.

Not far behind them, just before turning the corner, the other boy heard what Mattie told Oli. He cursed once more, "Damn it, Mattie!"

Upon reaching the playground, Oli and Mattie's eyes scanned their surroundings. There were no people around. It felt very much abandoned, not even the sound of the chain-linked swing reaching their ears.

"Dash?" Oli called out, his voice loud enough for anyone nearby to hear.

"Dashu?" Mattie did the same, his little hand still held by Oli. He felt the older boy grip on it tighter and he saw just how uneasy Oli seemed.

"Dash! Are you here?" Oli shouted once more, taking a few steps forward.

He was met with silence and no more than that. He narrowed his eyes at every corner of the playground, searching for something that moved...something that hinted of Dash's presence. Just then, he heard the rustling sound of someone approaching them from behind. He turned around with Mattie following his lead.

"Oli..." Dash's voice finally pierced through the cool air. His face was hidden not by the dim light, but with the hoodie he was wearing. He looked at Mattie and saw the flash of fear in the little boy's eyes.

"Dash!" Oli exclaimed, letting go of Mattie's hand and pacing toward Dash.

"What do you want, Oli? And why is Mattie with you?" Dash demanded.

Oli didn't answer right away. Instead, he hugged Dash, unmindful to the other boy's stiffening body. He asked, "You remember me, right?"

"What are you saying?" Dash questioned, struggling from Oli's tight embrace. It felt warm and nice or was he just sweating from all that running and catching up?

"You know lots of things. You should know more about me than I do!" Oli said, retreating from the embrace while he held onto Dash's shoulders. "Tell me Dash! You remember me, right?"

"Let go, Oli! I don't understand what you're saying." Dash forcefully removed himself from Oli's hold.

"You're lying!" Oli accused. "You're s'posed to remember! Here...take a look at this..."

Oli picked out a photo from his pocket, showing it to Dash. Oli didn't think much of the photo at first. His mom told him that the other boy in the picture was maybe just a childhood friend of Oli's from their old neighbourhood – the one he lived in when his real parents were still around. But now, knowing that Mattie pointed out who the other boy was in one separate photo, he was overwhelmed with what he shared with Dash. It was innocent, a very sweet and gentle gesture between childhood friends. It was one kiss, spurred maybe by his mom and other circumstances surrounding it. It was one kiss he shared with Dash back when they were still so young to even think about what it meant.

Dash looked at the picture handed to him and his eyes widened with clarity and confusion. He remembered this, as much as he remembered everything about Oli. But it was something he chose to forget as soon as Oli moved away from him...from that deep bond they once had.

And in that spur of the moment, with Oli not thinking clearly and his heart pushing him on, he did what came to be unexpected for Dash. He held the other boy's face, drastically closed his eyes, and leaned in and kissed Dash on the lips; his very own trembling with emotions, longing and hope.

And there it was. He felt the unmistakeable spark ignite something in his memory. He was seeing flashes before his closed eyes. He could hear a much younger voice laughing in his head with another sweet voice laughing along. It belonged to Dash, he was sure of it. But, as soon as the flashes of memory came rushing back, Dash pushed him away.

"What the fuck, Oli!" Dash yelled, spitting out as he did so. "Mattie, let's go home."

Mattie's eyes were darting toward Oli and Dash. He didn't know what was going on between the two. He hesitated before slowly approaching his brother. When he was finally beside Dash, he felt his hand hurt a little from Dash's grip. Well, he was dragged nonetheless by his brother that reeked of anger.

"Dash! Wait!" Oli caught up with the two boys, grabbing Dash's arms. Mattie quickly looked at Oli, while Dash just refused to do so. "Please help me remember," he pleaded.

"Remember what exactly?" Dash asked, venom in his voice while he tried pulling his arm away from Oli's hold, not knowing that he gripped on Mattie's hand even tighter. Mattie yelped.

"You're hurting Mattie!" Oli pointed out, forcing Dash's hand to release its grip on Mattie's. He pulled the younger boy toward his side, partially shielding him from Dash.

"It's none of your business!" Dash shouted at Oli, facing him. "Mattie, c'mon."

"No!" Mattie finally voiced out, shutting his eyes and lowering his head. Both Dash and Oli were slightly taken aback while they looked at the little boy. "I don't want to go home anymore..."

"What is this about, Mattie? I find you sneaking through Oli's window and now this?" Dash shouted back.

Mattie forced himself to look at his brother, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He didn't even know that Dash followed him to Oli's. Now, all he can think of was that Dash probably thought he told Oli their little secret, which he actually did. And, that may be why Dash was really mad right now. His eyes radically changed colour even under the shadow of the night.

"What? You're starting to trust Oli? Is that it?" Dash said accusingly.

"Why wouldn't he?" Oli cut in. "I'd never hurt him. And why can't you trust me, Dash? Why hide anything from me? We were friends!"

"Friends!" Dash sneered. "That was a long time ago. And if I'd known that this would happen..."

"You'd never be friends again with me?" Oli asked. "Dash. Are you mad `coz I forgot about you? I can't remember a damn thing from my childhood! All I have is this make believe in my mind. Just now I found out I was adopted!"

Mattie looked at Oli, surprised with what he heard. Dash, too, was taken by surprise. `He didn't know?' he thought. `How could he not know? He was over six years old that time.'

"That's why I'm asking you," Oli said in a soft, pleading voice. "I can't remember a thing...the real things. You know more about me."

"How'd you find out?" Dash asked, his voice seemingly under control.

"My dad's files," Oli answered. "...stepdad's"

"Oli..." Mattie whispered, tugging at Oli's shirt.

Dash's attention shifted to Mattie. He narrowed his eyes on the little boy, unsure with how Mattie ended up in between all this.

"Mattie, let's go home," he said once more.

"For chrissake, Dash! Are you just going to avoid me now?" Oli yelled. "You think I don't know anything about you? You...you just let yourself get hurt like that. You shouldn't just keep quiet about it!"

Dash noticed how Oli steered clear of pointing out just what he was hurting from. But he knew that Oli meant his uncle touching him in all wrong ways possible. He finally understood where Mattie fit in all this. The little kid just can't keep quiet. He moved closer toward his little brother, wanting to drag the kid back to their house.

"Don't you dare hurt Mattie!" Oli shouted, placing himself in front of the younger boy and directly in Dash's way. "Yes, Dash. He told me everything. And just `coz he cares about you. He loves you so much. And you say you want to protect him? Are you dumb? He can't stand watching you go through all that."

"Don't you tell me what to do," Dash told Oli, his voice threatening.

"Just listen to yourself," Oli said. "You sound so cold. Is this what he did to you? Dash, we have to report this."

"Damn it, Oli! Just mind your own fucking business." Dash was starting to feel really frustrated with how stubborn Oli was.

"I care about you," Oli admitted. "And that kiss...I...I started remembering bits from my childhood."

"Poetic," Dash scoffed. "But you don't get it, do you? Where would we end up if our uncle gets locked away, huh? In the streets? In foster care? I'd be damned if I let those other kids touch Mattie."

"Dash..." Oli mumbled.

Dash cut in once more, "Yes, Oli! We went to foster care before our uncle got us. Lucky for you, you had your mom's sister to take you in."

Mattie felt himself trembling, seeing his brother like this. Within just the last minute, he saw Dash's eyes get fiercer, colder and just not himself anymore. He hid behind Oli, gripping tightly on the older boy's shirt. He started sniffling, his chest pressed against Oli's back.

Oli felt his body being rocked gently by Mattie's sob. He turned around and saw the tears fall from the little boy's eyes. He felt sad seeing Mattie like that. He hugged the younger boy, trying to hush the cry that only got worse.

"Mattie..." Dash trailed off. He wanted to reach out to his little brother, but somehow, he felt Mattie scared of him.

"Dash...please don't get mad at Mattie. He loves you so much," Oli said, his back toward Dash.

"I'm not mad, Mattie," Dash said in a hushed voice. "I'm not mad, Oli."

"Let's just talk, `kay?" Oli offered. "No more shouting." He caressed Mattie's soft curls, rubbing his back.

A cool breeze passed by the three boys who now sat on one long bench. Mattie was pressed by Oli's side while Dash maintained a sizeable distance between him and Oli. Except for Mattie's infrequent sniffles, silence mostly engulfed the evening. And it seemed ironic that even without words, Oli felt himself get closer to Dash. As for Dash, he started setting up some more wired fences inside the original ones that set the limit of his personal space. However, he still didn't have it rigged with electricity. It must've been because he forgot or he just didn't care anymore. Somehow, he knew that Oli would still sneak in through the narrow gap between the wires.

"Y'know, Dash," Oli started. "Most of my life, I thought what I had was real. My mom and dad...I didn't even suspect that I was adopted. They even have baby pictures of me, wrapped in their arms...".

"Even back then, you were annoying," Dash absentmindedly said..

"I was?" Oli giggled, his hands running through Mattie's hair. The little boy was silent, almost as if asleep..

"Yeah," Dash whispered. "You'd always come over to our house at night, in pyjamas and dragging your pillow with you. Mattie would already be sound asleep in our room. My mom even started giving us baths together when you refused to go home at all.".

"Damn." Oli blushed at the thought and tried so hard to remember just that. "I didn't know I was like that.".

"How'd you forget, Oli? You were six when...when..." Dash didn't finish..

"When my mom and dad died," Oli said. "Killed in a bank robbery. I don't really know why I can't remember a thing. My...stepmom said they had me under therapy for almost a year. By the end of it, I started acting differently, as if another couple's child...their child. I was repressing the memories I had of my real parents...of you. And started forming new ones...the old ones changed more into something that didn't even happen...make believe.".

"You moved away to a different part of town..." Dash continued for Oli. "...left me. Then, I finally caught up with you when I was nine. I found out where you lived and I really wanted to talk to you, but I just couldn't..."

"So you were stalking me," Oli said, amused.

"No," Dash responded. "I was only looking out for you...to see if they ever hurt you."

"Who?" Oli asked, finally looking at Dash. "My stepmom and stepdad?"

Dash only nodded in response. Oli saw how Dash's eyes slowly narrowed and his body stiffening a bit.

"Dash...we have to tell someone about your uncle. He's not s'posed to do that," Oli said.

"No, Oli..." Dash's voice started gaining volume. "You just don't get it."

"Ssshh," Oli interrupted. "No shouting, remember? And Mattie's asleep."

Dash glanced toward Mattie's peaceful figure. Sure, the little boy still sniffled a bit, but it was clear enough that sleep conquered his tired body. And he noticed Oli's gentle and loving hold around Mattie.

"He likes you a lot, y'know," Dash said. "And...and he trusts you. Just don't hurt him, Oli."

"Yeah. He trusts me so much," Oli whispered, remembering what Mattie showed him earlier. "And I won't ever hurt him. But Dash, you need to stop hurting him, too. Seeing what your uncle does to you, he blames himself too much."

"What do you mean?" Dash asked.

"He thinks you're protecting him more than you're protecting yourself," Oli responded, his eyes on Dash, wanting to mirror those deep orbs.

"I love him so much," Dash said, lowering his head, his hands forming fists on his lap. "I don't want him to go through the same thing...Back when we were still in foster care, when Mattie was playing outside, I was with other...kids...doing some nasty stuff, pleading with them not to do the same to Mattie."

Dash wasn't even aware that he was opening up to Oli. Maybe it had something to do with the bond he used to have with the other boy. They were like brothers back when they were young and he used to think that nothing can ever break them apart. But the world works that way – you meet one person who becomes so important to you, then you just lose him to all of the world's complexity. However, something did bring them back together. And from what he saw, it wasn't something so random and vague. It was his little brother working the little miracles of things, bringing back what was once thought to be lost forever. He glanced once more to Mattie, thankful for having him more than anything in the world. Hesitantly, he moved closer to Oli.

"Tell you what," he started. "Let me come up with a plan first before I send my uncle to jail."

"You don't have to think about anything," Oli said. "My dad's a lawyer and he can easily work this out."

"No, Oli," Dash declined. "I want to do this my own way. I just can't confess to them and have them place me in foster care once more. Not like that."

"I'll talk to my dad and have you and Mattie live with us," Oli offered.

"Just trust me, `kay?" Dash pleaded, looking at Oli's eyes that glowed faint blue under the moon's dim light. "I've been working on a plan for a while now."

"What plan?" Oli inquired.

"I'll tell you when it's time. Just not right now," Dash said.

"Just make sure it doesn't involve running away." Oli smiled weakly at the thought.

"Maybe," Dash said which made Oli pout a little. "We should go home. It's already past bedtime for Mattie."

"How `bout you sleep over at my house?" Oli suggested, his voice hopeful.

"We have school tomorrow. And I don't want uncle finding out that we snuck out at night," Dash said, crushing almost half of Oli's hope. And he should know better than what he was saying. The last time he checked, his uncle was drunk and stoned, lying on their living room couch. It would take him until tomorrow noon to wake up, missing out on another day of work. Sometimes, he wondered where his uncle got the money to support himself and two kids. Not that he was much of a support anyway.

"Please, Dashu?" Mattie's sleepy voice whispered into the night. "I want to stay with Oli."

"Just one night, Dash. And we have lots of catching up to do," Oli pleaded once more, backed by Mattie's puppy and sleepy eyes on Dash. How can anyone say no to that?

"One night," Dash sighed. "Just this once."

And so the three boys slowly made their way back to Oli's house, with Mattie getting a piggyback ride from Oli. Dash mostly stayed quiet the whole time, just glancing once in a while at Mattie's comfortable figure. He even saw a bit of drool from the corner of the little boy's mouth. Not long after, they had to stir Mattie awake and make him climb the ladder and through Oli's bedroom window. All three of them had their stealth mode on the entire time.

Mattie almost fell to the floor, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Luckily, Dash caught him and helped him under the covers, kissing him goodnight on the forehead. Oli locked his bedroom door, making sure to keep quiet. He could still hear the faint sound of the TV from the living room. Looking back toward Dash, he caught sight of something placed on his desk.

"My mom was here," he whispered. Dash gave him a questioning look so he pointed toward the desk beside his bed where a glass of milk and some cookies were neatly placed on top. He moved back toward the bed and sat on the edge.

"Is the milk still warm?" he asked Dash.

Dash took the glass and handed it to Oli. "A little," he said.

Oli didn't drink the milk. Instead, he just held it with both his hands, his face looking at it sadly, seeing just how much his mom loved him. He didn't care if he was adopted. But he did want to find out those parts of his memory that weren't the least bit true. He needed to find out what his life had been back when he still had his real parents...back when he still shared that kiss with Dash.

"Dash..." Oli started. "Sorry about the kiss."

Dash, sitting on the other edge of the bed, right beside Mattie, could only look at Oli. He was surprised by the kiss, but didn't really object to it. He just wasn't expecting Oli to do that so swiftly, forcefully and deeply.

"Just don't do it again," Dash said.

"That was our second kiss, huh," Oli muttered, taking out the photo from his pocket once more. "If you consider this the first." In the back of his mind, he hoped for some more to come.

"So..." Dash mused. "Where are we s'posed to sleep? Mattie's sprawled on your bed already."

"On the floor? I have some sleeping bags in my closet." Oli stood up and went to find his sleeping bags. Instead of finding two, he turned to Dash and showed just...

"One? You said you had some," Dash pointed out.

"Yeah, well..." Oli blushed, embarrassed. "Must've left it at camp last summer."

"No way..." Dash said. "I'm not sharing that with you. You either sleep on your bed and Mattie and I share that or I'll just have to stay up all night."

Just then, Mattie shifted on the bed, lying on his tummy with his arms stretched out to almost span the bed's width and even snored a bit, claiming his territory for deep slumber.

"I'll just stay up," Dash said with finality.

"Aw, c'mon Dash! It won't hurt to share a sleeping bag," Oli whined, moving closer to the bed and setting the sleeping bag down beside it. It was big enough for two, if the two persons snuggled up to each other. "We bathed together when we were kids, right? That could have been more embarrassing than sleeping together. And I can't even remember any of that."

"No, no, no..." Dash repeated. Suddenly, Oli gestured for him to keep quiet. He threw him a questioning look and saw Oli point toward the door. He could make out the shadow that crept through the gap below and he could hear the knob turn slightly. Seeing that it was locked, the shadow moved away and left it there.

"My mom, I think," Oli whispered. He moved to Dash's side and tried pulling the boy up, leading him toward the sleeping bag. "C'mon. Just keep quiet. Don't argue or my mom will find out."

Despite Dash's evident hesitation, here he was, his back turned to Oli who was lying next to him, warm and comfortable. He could feel Oli's warm breath on his neck and that timid brush of the other boy's arms around his waist. He could feel his cheeks warm up and his heart racing, his mouth settling for a pout.

"Dash," Oli whispered. "I really missed you."

Dash can't help but smile a little at the sincerity of Oli's words. He shifted a bit, lying on his back now. He turned his head to look at Oli, doubts leaving his mind and his reservations were far too irrelevant right now. He could see that sweet smile on Oli's face and he tried mirroring it. Who was he to deny himself of this long awaited reunion?

"I missed you too, Oli," he whispered back.

Oli felt overjoyed and hugged Dash, placing a gentle kiss on the other boy's cheeks. He giggled a little, seeing the gleam in Dash's eyes.

"I said no more kissing," Dash reminded.

"I'm just counting," Oli answered.

"Counting? Huh?" Dash questioned.

"Nothing...let's go to sleep." Oli snuggled closer to Dash, sharing the much welcomed warmth.

Dash saw Oli finally close his eyes and his breath steadying to a known rhythm...the rhythm of one's heart lulled to sleep. He sighed, moving his arm under Oli's head, his hand brushing briefly through golden strands of hair. He missed having Oli beside him, like he did back when they were kids. And he wanted to tell Oli one more thing to help him remember. He closed his eyes, looking back once more to that one special night he shared with Oli.

~*~*~*~

~*~*~*~

"Dashi..." Oli mumbled in his sleep.

"G'nyt, Oli," Dash whispered, following both Oli and Mattie to a world where nothing but dreams come true. In that wonderful world, there were no worries, insecurities, secrets, doubts, fears... There was just that playful sun that reflected off everyone's smile. It was nice to move past the nightmares once in a while, even for just one night. "And that wasn't our second kiss earlier..."