Authors Note: Sorry for the delay, I was extremely busy, and haven't had time to write.
When I stepped inside it was dark as always. Home was supposed to be calm, a place to unwind. Not for me. It never has been, and now my nerves were shot as it was. When I closed the door my Dad grunted at me. Meaning I had made it in time. I smiled at my Mom and walked to my room. Inside my room I sat there stewing over Billie's obvious betrayal. Yet I couldn't stay mad at him, I wanted to but I just couldn't. Not when the very thought of him inspires this jittery nervous butterfly feeling in me.
I know it sounds bad but it was so good to feel like that. To actually feel anything at all. However, what had happened with his parents blew my mind away. They knew about us and didn't care... It just seemed so implausible as if they were yanking our chain. I was waiting for the shit to hit the fan. Would she tell me Mom? Dear God, would she tell him?
The night progressed in the same way, what if, after what if. I tried not thinking, thinking was making me nervous far too nervous. I decided on sleep.
Sleeping wasn't any better, my thoughts plagued my dreams still. I tossed and turned through the night. I woke to chirping birds, the sky was clear for once and the sun was shining. Fear crept up my spine like a misty fog covering my bones. I sat up straight, I looked around my room but he had yet to make an appearance. I sighed for my luck and laid back down. I felt a smile grow on my face, it felt foreign but so good. Billie filled my thoughts, Billie - my drug of choice. I craved his presence, his touch and very scent. I sighed knowing I was lucky to pull off our stunt last night.
Then like a thousand bricks the realization came to me. My secret was no longer just mine--I felt an invisible claw wrap around my brain. It was as if my body had been filled with ice while I slept. The power of that thought pounded on the inside of my skull like a bunch of swarming bees. The day went on as usual.
I got dressed, went to my bus stop, then found my way into an empty seat. I watched the scenery pass by outside. The cactus and bushes, seemed so dull today. The usual purple, red, yellow, and white flowers left the plants making them look bland. When I finally got to school I wasn't surprised to see Billie waiting in the usual spot.
I smiled at him, hit him in the shoulder then we walked off to talk before class started. We found a bench in the courtyard that was empty and made for two. I smiled at him and I wondered what it would be like to kiss him--now, in school. While all the kids passed us by. What would they do? What would the teachers say? It seemed so stupid to me. My mind cannot and will not accept that my love is wrong or abominable. It just can't be, it would ruin the very fabric of my being. Billie makes me whole, complete, filled.
My thoughts wandered, as the chain unraveled in my head. Once the teachers knew, they'd tell our parents, we knew what Billie's parents thought. Mine on the other hand... He'd kill me, no; us. What if that didn't happen though, what if he only beat me then kicked me out? Sure it's a week or longer of pain, but then I could be by myself. Either way I was tired, tired of living a lie, tired of fighting to go on, tired of holding it all in and never letting it out.
Billie gently rubbed my hand and woke me from my thoughts. I looked into his eyes that threatened to steal my soul. I fought the almost necessity to kiss his fragile lips, with a ravenous lusting want.
"What are you thinking of Justin?" Billie said raising his brow.
"I think you know..." I said blushing while imagining his body and god given equipment. To know I knew his body, that he knew mine, and that it was all mine thrilled me unbelievably at the moment, and I wanted to release it from it's cage.
"Quit looking at me like that, god I feel like a steak or something..." Billie said blushing.
"How about we meet in the bathrooms after lunch?"
"Justin! Your kidding right?"
"No." I said without shame.
"God now I'm horny! Yes."
"Good," I said beaming.
The day progressed slowly I was waiting for lunch so I could see him again. When the bell finally rang for lunch I felt that giddiness come to me like the first day we ever did anything. I met him at the cafeteria, we set the time and the right bathroom. We ate our lunch while giving each other smiles.
Our eyes flirted with each other, and I felt a slight blush taking control of my cheeks. I was rock hard below my waist and excited as hell. When the bell rang we split ways and went to our classes. I waited for the clock to finally hit 1:15... The seconds seemed to take HOURS, and the minutes were years.
I was out of it when my teacher asked me a question. I smiled sheepishly knowing I didn't know. Mrs. Conner was cool, so I did the only thing that I thought might save me.
"Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep" I said lowering the pitch as my head dropped to the side. I almost laughed but got it out, "Brain dead!"
The classroom ignited in laughter Mrs. Conner's face was annoyed at first but it faded into a smile and she joined in with the laughter.
"Okay smart-ass, pay attention now, k?" Mrs. Conner said ruffling my hair. She turned my page to the right page and pointed where she was at.
After she was done rounding the class, I went back to watching the clock, again the seconds seemed to be hours, and finally after an eternity of waiting it finally hit that magical number.
I walked up to her desk and handed her one of my restroom passes. She smiled at me and told me to get my act together before I got back so I could learn something. I smiled at her and walked off. The hallways were empty, and very void. Since they made away with the lockers it looks so empty. Only three more days till we get our beloved lockers back. I finally got to the restroom, I walked in and found Billie waiting sitting against the sink.
"Hey there slow poke!" He said sticking out his tongue.
I smiled, and pinned him to the sink. My lips enveloped his, as my lust guided my body. My hands roamed over him, feeling his hard stomach then lower to the prize. The other hand found it's way under his shirt and to his now erect nipple. My tongue found his supple and tender neck, I let my teeth and tongue tantalize his neck and jaw, causing him to quiver. It encouraged me to go further yet, I lifted his shirt up till it hit my chin, then I removed my mouth from his neck and placed it over his other nipple.
Just a moment after beginning my assault on his nipple it became hard and more fun to nibble at. His breathing got more intense, my cock strained at my pants and I felt the familiar stickiness leaking from me. It inspired my hand to reach inside his loose sweat pants. My hand curled around his cock, and my fingertips found his nectar. I used his fluids to lube his cock as I slowly stroked it.
His hands found his way to my butt and the other fumbled with my zipper. I pulled his pants and boxers below his balls, and fully exposed him to me. He looked at me in disbelief, but I wanted it. I let my mouth be filled by him. I sucked with a bone tingling, skin incinerating fever. He moaned out his back curved and his hips jerked. I increased my suction I wanted his seed and I wanted to make it boil out. It didn't take long to get my reward.
His body shuddered and his knees went weak as he leaned against the sink. The angle shoved his cock further in and I felt it expand then explode in my throat. His hands wrapped around my head as he unleashed all he had. I gagged a little but it seemed to add to the experience. He panted and sweat rolled down his face.
A huge grin was plastered to his face and he sat there as if stupefied for a minute.
"Jesus Justin!! God whatever that got you this horny was worth it, what did I do?"
"Just being you is what you did. And that's not all..." I said while feeling the evidence in my pants.
"Really? I thought so I wasn't sure however."
"Yea I did that was so fucking hot!!" I said giggling. We kissed, he helped me clean up my mess and we split up to get to our classes.
I walked back to my class and sat at my desk. I could still taste Billie and my cock was still semi-stiff from our encounter. It made concentrating on the work hard, and the more I tried working the more my mind wandered to Billie's body.
By the end of class I only got half of the lesson done, which meant I would have homework. I grumbled at my horny self and packed up my stuff. The day progressed slowly. The game plan was the same, I'd go home and say I needed to do some more work on my project.
Our plan worked as it had before. This time however my Mother took me to Billie's, My Mom chatted a little while with Billie's. I couldn't help it but I became a wallflower on the kitchen wall, listening intently on what was being passed back and forth. Billie's Mom looked at me as if knowing my reasons but just smiled and kept talking.
When they were finally done talking I was happy. I wanted my Mom to have a friend but at the same time I felt very threatened. All these years of keeping it all wrapped up in twine and repairing the damage and now it was all about to unravel and I wanted to stop it.
Fear was my motive, and pain was my reality. However Billie fit into it and made me question my motives. Did I want to let the ball I had kept so tightly wound covered and hidden, or did I want to rip it to shreds, to be free and live my life? If Billie was with me I decided I didn't care either way.
It was Friday, and the weekend was almost in my grasp. Up to this point we had kept my Dad at bay, but now it was time for the graded paper and now I faced a dilemma that we hadn't thought about. Billie and I got sweeps three times on purpose so we could work on our "project" by the end of the third sweeps class we had it done. We graded it ourselves and put a C on it.
It seemed like it was going to work out, it had to, or he'd kill me. I knew it. If he knew it was all a lie just to get out of being grounded... I didn't want to think what he'd do. It made my stomach knot. The bus ride home was unbelievably long. It seemed to stretch hours upon hours. When it was finally my stop I felt my stomach quiver as the bus driver opened the door.
My sweaty palm found the door knob, I turned it and opened the door. My eyes adjusted to the difference in light as I stood in the doorway. Another old western was on and I saw him sitting in his recliner as if he were God. I kept my head low and avoided contact. I walked to the bathroom and went pee. It made me feel more calm.
The night progressed slowly, and I was waiting for him to ask about the grade but he never did. I didn't know whether to be pleased or afraid. During dinner we sat quietly around the table. My dad chugged his beers, my Mom ate quietly, and I found myself pushing my food around. The air as always was thick with tension, it felt like it would strain so tight it would snap and create a vortex and suck us in. Halfway through his plate he hiccupped and undid his belt. I looked at him with disgust, he seemed so piggish to me all the time.
After dinner he was his usual drunk self. I watched him with fear bubbling under my skin. Finally the moment I had dreaded all day--his voice interrupted my turmoil of thoughts and made them rage into a blazing inferno.
"So what did ya git boy?"
"Huh?" I said not sure if he meant the report or not.
"The report thick head!"
"Oh... a C. He said it had great voice, but that the presentation was lacking."
"Oh, now did he? I hated prick teachers. So why don't you present it, Justin? Why don't I be the judge?" he said.
His words were sinister, as always. I grabbed out our report and the few maps we drew. It was quite good if you asked me for being done within about an hour and half.
I started reading it, in my place on the floor, but he insisted I stand in front of the TV to present it right. I followed his orders not wanting confrontation. I felt sweat form on my forehead. My Mom gave me a silent nod of approval.
I read it, I explained how Hitler gained his power from the lack of the World Court and their failure to keep him in check. How it caused the downfall of Europe as he slowly and strategically took control. I read how he segregated groups of minorities. The star, color, and triangle meanings. It was thorough, and complete. I showed the three maps of Hitler's growth in power over the years he reigned.
He was pleased. "Good job, since you did a good job your ungrounded." He stood up and patted my shoulder. My shell hardened at his touch, but melted at the affection, it's what I craved. All I wanted was just a touch of compassion and love, or a word of praise. It gave me false hope in my small heart. He smacked my face and again said I did a good job.
He left it at that and stumbled to their room. I felt my knees shaking, and the ravens eating at my stomach. A sigh left my mouth in a gush of wind. The tension left me for a second if not longer. I was home free, it worked! My Mom stood and gave me a hug. She smiled at me and looked me straight in the eye's.
"Good job honey, but don't pull another stunt like that." My jaw fell and I looked at her amazed.
"But how?"
"Unlike your father, I do call the hotline for the school to check on what you need to get done for school. You know honey, I am your Mom and I do look out for you. Just remember if you ever need to tell me anything, anything at all, Justin--anything and I'll listen. I'll always love you and protect you, understand?"
"Yes, mom." I said. I felt tears in my eyes and I wondered just how much she really did know. Did she know about Billie and I? Did Billie's mom spill the beans? At the moment I didn't care. I felt loved and I wanted her to know. "Thanks mom, you're the greatest ever! I love you." I said as I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She smiled at me and told me goodnight.
For once, it was a good night. I fell asleep so easily, and I didn't worry at all.
Note: Well for Samhain or rather Halloween I am doing a Halloween special. The day-you guessed it-Halloween! The year, well that's fuzzy ;-) LOL. I know I am a freak but I love it :-P and without further redo, the Halloween special!
The final bell finally ringed, and the energy in me raised even higher. I met up with Billie in the hallway by his locker. I had the strongest urge to kiss his neck and grab a handful of his ass but I let my eyes do all the talking. He blushed at me and smiled.
"You ready for tonight?" He asked me.
"Almost, I have the pomegranate, apple, bread and wine. We need to stop at Clare's to get the Sage."
"Did you bring the athame?" Billie asked.
"Yes, I didn't want to say it out loud though just in case the last thing I need is for a teacher to find out I had a 8 inch double bladed dagger in school all day." I said quietly watching all angles.
"Did you bring yours?"
"Yes, nearly cut my finger on it too!"
"Ok, my parent's know I won't be home tonight, did you tell yours the same?"
"Do I look dumb to you babe?" He said, his eyes also shifting directions.
"No, not at all. We'll stop at your house to place some of the bread and half of the second apple near your window, then mine. Then we need to stop at Clare's, then finally our destination."
"I'm not sure if I want to sleep in the desert..." Billie said not sure if he wanted to. I didn't want to either but there was no choice now.
"We'll only be a couple miles away from home and only 1 from a hospital if any critters get one of us. I've been stung by a scorpion before, it hurts like hell but I didn't die, just felt sick for a day or two. My asshole Dad wouldn't even take me to the hospital." I said bitterly.
"What are we gonna use for an altar?"
"I know this is gonna sound ridiculous but a box."
"A box?"
"Yea... I know but carrying a table will look REALLY weird! A closed TV box is gonna be weird enough."
"Where is it?"
"I already have it where we're going." I said, we were nearly off school property now. "Did you get the candles and goblet?"
"Yes," Billie said cutting me off. "And the cauldron and the spices and oil. Did you make sure you got the mortar and pestle?"
"Yes, we are definitely set. I'm not sure if I want to do it sky clad though, what if someone comes and see's us naked and all?" I said a little self-conscious.
"Well, then they'll see us all naked. It'll be like in gym." Billie said smiling.
We made our stops, then rode the bus to Clare's Witches Paradise and got the Sage. We hopped back on the bus and got off a mile from our destination. I carried the box and felt self-conscious.
Once we finally made it to the desert Billie pulled out his cell phone and called home. He assured his Mom he was at my house then I did the same with mine. Now all would be fine unless one of them called each other, which was becoming frequent.
In the past week since being grounded and ungrounded all seemed fine and well. He was still getting drunk but for some reason he just fell asleep. I'd find out later he was just doing overtime and was too worn out for what he always did to us. My house seemed to be in an uplifted mood, which was perfect. I wanted to feel safe and happy, and altogether just at peace.
And it had been peace, pure serenity. I was sleeping easier, not plagued with insomnia or blackouts. Not to mention I was able to leave the dungeon to go to Billie's. Where we planned our Samhain ritual, down to the very spot we'd do it.
And here we were. Setting up the altar with the right things. The fruit, the pumpkin, the incense, salt, water, candles, pentacle, it was all in proper order. The make-shift altar held all we needed it to. We did the ritual in slow rhythmic movements calculating our ever step and word. The air around us seemed to thin and fill with an abundant energy that pulsed through our veins.
We said our parts, called on our dead loved ones to come play and eat. We drank from the goblet filled with burgundy colored wine that tasted of grapes and cherry wood. We did our magical workings to honor the year, and the turning of the wheel. Our candles flickered in the cool autumn air as it chilled our naked skin. Once the ritual was over we closed the circle, but still stayed within it`s safety. We both buried half the apple and left the other half out.
We sipped the wine while snuggling up to each other. By now we were dressed again and I wished we weren't. My face was warm and flushed, I knew this feeling, as I had stolen from my Dad's liquor cabinet before. I wondered why he got so mean after drinking? For me it was just this warm fuzzy feeling inside, almost like the one Billie could give me with just a look. Maybe that was what it was now? I didn't care, we continued sipping and touching. It was bliss, as if we were in the Summerland's with the Gods' with a warm breeze brushing our skin. I pictured the wind spirits slightly kissing us as they flew by.
The night was silent, as if there wasn't a neighborhood just a couple blocks away and the outskirts of a city just 2-3 miles away. It was as if we were transported back to a time where no one dared venture to places unknown. I looked at my watch which read 12:52. Billie passed back the bottle and I took a big swig off of it. It warmed my insides and inspired a belch to escape my mouth. Billie jumped then laughed really hard at me. At first I was embarrassed but felt it fade away as laughter escaped my throat. I turned my head and kissed him in the mid of his laughter. It silenced him as his tongue found it's place among mine.
It wasn't long before I was in his lap facing him. Our arms were wrapped around each other and our tongues lodged deep in each others mouths. His hardness pressed into mine allowing me to know he was just as excited as me. His precious lips left mine to wonder to my neck. My head fell back as if on cue giving him all the access he wanted. It inspired a growl from within me. It was raw and lewd in manner. His tongue traced a burning trail up my neck to my jaw line where he nibbled sending my sexual energy higher.
The air made strange but not unwanted sensations as the warmed was replaced by coldness. My hands roamed his body, my left hand instinctively found his rock hard member and the other wormed itself under his shirt to find his right nipple. My hips came alive to tease us both. His mouth found mine with an anxiety and we were connected in a lip-lock again. The sensations went to an overload status as my air became thin. Almost like a parasite I sucked air from him to keep going. It could have been hours that we were there kissing and gyrating our bodies in a balanced rhythm. Finally our lungs could take no more neglect, our lips parted with a smack and sigh.
My body seemed to be burning as our eyes connected with grins errantly plastered on our faces. Madonna's song seemed to be right amazingly. The coyness, and wonder where here, in a fusion. As if it were the very first time, again. Our territories were known but at the same time unknown. Where could we venture, to the heights and places already known or to a new level of existence where we could become lost in our union?
Either way we found new heights, as our bodies intertwined in a mass of sweat, flesh, and love. The night closed leaving us naked and wrapped in a blanket under the twinkling stars. This night would forever be with me, to recall years upon years after it was said and done.
To be continued...